Misplaced Soul
by ArtimecWing
Summary: One of my friends once told me, "You only live once." Clearly, she has never died before. (Being rewritten)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it… White shores, and beyond, a far green county under a swift sunrise."― J.R.R. Tolkien, _The Lord of the Rings_

I always believed that there was something after death, but I never did think too much about what to expect. While I didn't quite believe that I would experience something quite like Gandalf from _The Lord of the Rings_ did, what I certainly did know is that I didn't expect to float around in some strange void where everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. I wonder if this is what it's like to be in outer space. While this new sensation was strange and disorienting, it felt was somewhat comforting and relaxing. There was that gentle sway, like someone was rocking me to sleep, and there felt like there was a soft warmth that surrounded my soul. There were no worries and I really wouldn't have minded if I stayed in this void forever. However, this nice and seemingly endless space didn't last. After an unknown amount of time, in a snap of a second, it felt like I was plunging down about a thousand feet before the falling sensation suddenly ceased inside what felt like a small, cramped, muscular bubble that was so small that I had to be curled up into a tight ball. Oh, and it felt like I was upside down. Very uncomfortably, really. I wonder if this is what all people experience after death? It certainly wasn't the heaven people often described they believed they would to go to after death nor did the description fit hell, but if this was any one of those two places then someone really ought to correct people's perceptions so that they weren't expecting sorely disappointed after death.

Throughout my days among the living, I had always thought myself to be an extremely average person, although other people may have thought else wise. People who often just met me would always think: "Oh my! Such an intelligent individual." seeing as I was a trauma surgeon. However, what bothered me greatly about their own personal assessment of me was that just because I was a surgeon there wasn't a single person that ever thought that I was actually just your typical average person. To the normal public, doctors were amazingly smart people that managed to survive med school, internship, residency, and their massive school debt. People just often thought that doctors always had their lives together, always knew what they were doing, never had financial problems because they were "smart", and always knew exactly what to do. Most never really stopped to think that doctors could make mistakes, could be unsure about decision, and had very real fears of not being good enough. Not all surgeons had the so called "God complex". I was an imperfect mortal and I was well aware of it.

While I may have been regarded as someone amazingly special by the masses, I believed that I wasn't special at all. In the world of doctors, I was as average as you could get. Yes, I did survive med school and all those necessary steps required to become a surgeon, but I barely scraped by when it came to paying off those school loans. Those heavy loans could really knock the life out of someone, like me. Figuratively, of course. I think I would have been rather pathetic if it was those loans that killed me. A word to the wise, don't take unsubsidized loans unless necessary. They explode in your face right after graduation. I had learned the hard way.

Well, back to my totally average life. As a surgeon I didn't save anyone famous, I didn't do groundbreaking research or surgeries. I was just one of those trauma surgeons you would always find on call in the emergency room. Sure, I did save lives and I'm certain that those people who got to live because of me thought I was amazing and above average, but I sure the those people would have obtained the same results if they had been operated on by a different surgeon.

Even in med school I was the most average one could possibly get. My test scores and my overall grades were always dead center at fourteenth place in my class of twenty-seven people. If someone really wanted to say I was amazingly special then he or she could say it was amazing that I have managed to always have the middle score of my class because there was not a single time I was placed above or below that center line. This was phenomenon was especially baffling to my professors. They always believed that I should have been in the top quartile of my class, but data doesn't lie. I was always the median.

So, what about my life outside of work? There must have been something eye-catching there, right? Sorry to disappoint, but no. Never did anything noteworthy, wasn't too charismatic, no forceful personality, just so normal to the point of almost not being noticed. I had group friends, I had a loving family, no mental illnesses or chronic health conditions, and I was never married nor did I ever have kids. I did have my strange quirks, just like everyone else did, but it wasn't anything mind blowing. My most obvious quirk was that I was rather oblivious to the emotion of romantic love. Okay, maybe that quirk was a little mind blowing since I was so oblivious that it was like I was a character in a comedy routine. I noticed the emotion of romantic love just about as much as it snowed in Egypt, which was never. Sure, I did have my fair share of boyfriends, but they never lasted long. They always broke up with me after about an average time of three month, the exception being one guy who lasted nine month. The reason was always the same "it feels like I'm dating a plywood board" and "everything just goes over your head", but honestly, it never really bothered me nor did I care. The only reason I continued dating was because my parents kept hounding me to get married and give to give them grandchildren. I wondered why I never really care for romantic love though. Maybe because I had always thought love was too much of a hassle to deal with? I always remember watching my friends' breakups in middle school and high school. They would cry for the week then move on to the next one then repeat. There was just too much drama to make me ever want to deal a significant other, so this is probably why I never paid romantic relationships any heed.

Then what about my death? Did I at least go out in the most spectacular way, like when fireworks did? Sadly, no. I died in the same way a baby bird did when it fell out of a tall tree, very commonly. I died in one of those common drunk driving accidents one would watch on the morning news. While driving home after another long forty-six hour shift at the hospital late at night, another car, that was going thirty above the speed limit, turned a corner and smashed directly into my car. The person that was driving behind me didn't have the chance stop, thus crashed into the back of my car and sandwiched me between those two cars. The impact of the drunk driver's car was enough to shred the front of my car and shatter my windshield while the impact of the car behind me was what forced me forward into sharp jagged strips of shredded metal. This resulted in me being pinned to the driver's seat by a large shard of metal that speared me through my liver and left kidney, and the driver's seat. In the process of trying to remove the other pieces of my car to get to me, the rescuers had accidentally shifted the shard of metal that was pinning me to the driver's seat, resulting in me bleeding out before I was even pulled from the wreck. I died in the company of strangers at the age of 31. My time of death was at 2:34 in the morning, not even twenty minutes after the car accident occurred. I was the only one that died in that accident. The drunk driver was an underage college student that had been binge drinking. The statistic that 67% of all fatal automobile accidents that happened between midnight and 3:00 a.m.[1] was very true, especially in my case.

So in light of my absolutely normal life it was a complete mystery that, me of all people, was placed in this bizarre situation. After being curled up in a tight ball for an unknown amount of time, the taut muscular wall around me began contracting and before I knew it, I was uncomfortably pushed through a small tube and into the blinding light. After being pushed into the light, I found myself begin to struggle to breathe immediately and I covered in some sort of strange and disgusting goo. When I couldn't breathe at first, it felt like I had a pneumothorax, or otherwise known as a collapsed lung. With great effort and large amounts of struggling, I finally inhaled what felt like my first gulp of air, I felt palpable relief when my lungs inflated. This brought many questions to mind with the first one being, "Why the hell were my lungs collapsed in the first place?" and the next one being, "What is this strange liquid I'm covered in?" I seriously hope that I get to take a bath soon because this goo that was coving my body smelled very strange and was uncomfortably slimy, not something I wanted to be covered in for a moment longer.

"It isn't crying." a feminine voice said tiredly while sounding relieved. Those were the first words I heard since my untimely demise.

Still being totally confused at what was going on, I tried to turn my head and look around so that I could gain a better understanding of my situation, but I found that I had little control over my body parts nor could I see very clearly. Testing my limbs next, I found that I had even less fine control over my limbs. The movements were all jerky and wonky. Nothing felt right. Trying to figure out what was going on in this state was like waking up after a night of getting plastered for the first time after turning twenty-one. Nothing made sense and I didn't even know where I was. All I knew was that I felt small and there was a newborn nearby somewhere.

"Is the baby a stillborn?" the same voice asked, sounding strangely hopeful.

Most mothers normally broke down into tears of happiness after they gave birth to their child, but not this woman… No, this wasn't a woman's voice, but a scared girl's voice. This was an unwanted pregnancy and the mother was a teenage girl. Something had happened and this girl was now dealing with the consequences. But even if the baby was the result of an unwanted pregnancy that did not give the girl the excuse to hope for a stillborn. If she didn't want to raise the child then that was fine. This was why newborns could be given up for adoption and still have a chance at a good life.

"No, despite being born too early and too small, your baby girl looks healthy." a woman's voice answered the girl. "Would you like to hold your new baby?"

"No! I don't want to hold that—that thing! I don't want to hold anything that bastard created! I never asked for this!" the first voice screamed with resentment and distress before breaking out in a quiet sob. "Please…Okaa-san…don't make me hold it… Please…please don't… I can't… I can't do this…"

Okay, I understood this girl's situation, but I seriously didn't understand why I was here in this situation. It really would have been nice if things started making sense now. And another thing that would be nice is if the giant hands underneath me would be more gentle. Wait… Giant hands? Oh shit... Please tell me that what I think happened didn't really happen.

"Stop that!" the woman, the girl's mother, admonished the girl with little to no sympathy. "This baby may be a product of rape, but she is also as much you as she is of that man. You are her kaa-san and you should behave as such."

That last statement was all I needed to confirm my fears. I was now sure that I was that baby, that product of rape. I was a misplaced soul that should have passed on. At that moment, I had never been more unsure of my future.

* * *

[1] August 2010 NHTSA


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Perhaps family itself, like beauty, is temporary, and no discredit need attach to impermanence." ― Gregory Maguire, _A Lion Among Men_

My new mother detested my very existence from the very beginning. There was no love shown towards me and she neglected my well-being whenever her mother, my new grandmother, was not watching. How could she possibly love me? I was a product of rape and it would take a very strong woman to love a child born from rape. Yes, the child would be blameless in the rape, but it was often hard for the victim to see the child as such. A child was often just merely be regarded as an unwanted parting gift from the rapist. While my new mother showed her open hatred of me every chance she got, I found that I could not blame her. Despite being put back into an infant's body, I still possessed the adult mind that I died with. I could see things from her perspective, but that did not mean I approved of her treatment of a blameless newborn.

My new mother was neglectful. She avoided all possible contact with me, both physically and emotionally. It was just too painful for her because I reminded her of the ordeal she had gone through. In the end, the only reason my new mother even held me or even had any contact with me was to feed me because her mother had forced her to. The feeding sessions were short because they required physical contact, something she deathly hated. The irregular and short feeding sessions resulted in me being smaller and weaker than most premature babies. It was nothing sort of a miracle that I even survived the first few months of my new life. If my new grandmother was not present then I have no doubt that I would have perished within the first few days of life.

While my new mother treated me abysmally, if found that I could not bring myself to hate her. I could not connect myself as the person who she was treating so terribly. There was a certain disconnection between my new body and my mind. Often when I was laid down to be put to sleep I would spend the time pondering my situation instead. I was this baby. No, I'm not this baby. This baby is me. No it's not. I could look at my reflection and feel like I was looking at another person. Who is this person? Who am I? Am I and the baby the same person? Are we two separate people? I was a young Chinese woman in the twenty-first century living in the United States. This body belonged to a baby Japanese girl living in the late Tokugawa era[1], which brings me to another problem. When I could finally see clearly again, I discovered I had been reincarnated into the past. Careful eavesdropping on people's conversations had allowed me to gather what year it was. I had been born on February 14, 1846. No, the irony of a person who was romantically inapt being born on Valentine's Day did not escape me.

This whole situation was mind-boggling, but not as much as the issue of language. Despite being only fluent in English and Mandarin Chinese upon death, upon rebirth I was instantly able to understand Japanese while retaining knowledge of my previous languages. Is a person supposed to be able to remember his or her past life along with all that knowledge? Is a person even supposed to be reborn into the past? Being reborn in the past would seriously mess up the historical timeline, so what was I doing here? A thousand questions with not a single answer emerging anytime soon. I'm willing to bet that this is some huge cosmic joke to someone out there.

Another reason I found that I could not hate my new mother was that I still could understand her point of view. She was a young fifteen year old girl with a natural beauty that was not only forced to give birth to her rapist's child, but was also forced to care and raise that same child. She was unwed and while she did live in a rural village where it was more common to find unwed mothers, it was still considered shameful. No one cared that my new mother was a victim of rape. All the other villagers saw was that she was an unwed mother and therefore promiscuous. Just by being born, I had already ruined her chances of getting married into a good household. Even her father, my new grandfather, announced loudly that he was ashamed of her even though he knew that his daughter was the victim of rape. He even went so far as to claim that she asked for it, which I could not understand. No one ever asks to be raped. However, even though I could understand why my new mother could not stand me, that did not mean I approved of her neglect. Newborns die easily without proper care, especially before the modern age of medicine.

I had always believed that child born from rape was essentially the same as a child born from love. The difference was not in the child but in the series of events that led up the creation of the child. An infant is blameless for it did nothing wrong nor could it chose what situation it was born into, much less chose whether to be born or not. Regardless of the situation that resulted in a child, every child deserved to have at least the basic necessities to live a healthy life. Every child deserved to have the chance to grow to their full potential.

So it was clear that my new mother hated me and I understood that, but what I didn't understand was why she did not dispose of me. Infanticide in Tokugawa Japan was actually not all that uncommon and there was even enough medical understanding by that time to perform abortions, although somewhat crudely. At first I thought that the reason my new mother did not dispose of me was because my new grandmother wouldn't approve. Even though I was born through less than ideal means, it appeared that my new grandmother didn't care. She had wanted a grandchild and didn't care who the man that fathered me was. As time passed, it became apparent that my new grandmother was not the reason that my new mother did not kill me. My new mother could have easily killed me and claimed it was some form of wildlife that had killed me. No one would question that claim. We lived on a farming community in the countryside and every once in a while there would be a poor kid that would be attacked and killed by a wild dog in the village. The true reason my new mother did not kill me became clear after I hit the five month mark of my new life. Despite her extreme hatred of me, she was soft. She cried whenever a fox got to one of the chickens of the farm. She cried when her mother instructed her to butcher a duck for the evening meal. She was too soft, too gentle, and cried far too easily. She didn't deserve to be stuck with a bastard child. Fate had not been kind to her. But in the end, even the soft and gentle-hearted have a threshold, a breaking point. Even the kindest person in the world could perform the most horrific acts when prompted to.

"Okaa-san, I'm going out for a stroll." my new mother announced one night. "It's a nice night for a walk."

"Alright, but take a lantern out with you, it's dark out." my new grandmother said as she washed the dishes without looking up before she suddenly jumped up like a bolt lightening hit her. "Oh, wait! Sachiko, you should take little Aka-chan[2] with you. You should spend more time bonding with your daughter."

My new mother sagged immediately at her mother's suggestion. She must have been wanting to have some alone time without her bastard child. It was already bad enough to be forced to raise her rapist's child, but now she had to spend every waking moment with it too? I felt bad for her and would love to give her time where she didn't have stay near me, but I couldn't do much about her situation, seeing that I haven't even bothered to try speaking yet. I couldn't even say no to my new grandmother's idea for my new mother. The reason I hadn't even tried to speak yet was because I had gotten the distinct feeling that my new mother would have preferred to have a baby that didn't even try to speak to her so I had tried to be respectful of her feelings and remained silent, but because of that course of action, I wasn't even sure how to get my voice to work in this new body yet. Since I couldn't say no, I quickly closing my eyes to pretend to be asleep in hopes of wiggling out of having to intrude on my new mother's alone time.

"Okaa-san, she's asleep. If I take her with me, she'll wake up." my new mother said with a strained voice of scorn.

"Nonsense, Sachiko." my new mother's mother said as she disregarded the excuse with a wave of her hand. "I saw her eyes open just a moment ago. She was watching you."

"But Okaa-san—"

"No, I won't take any of your excuses. You her mother and you should behave as such!" my new grandmother scolded. "It shouldn't matter that you don't want her. Don't you agree, Anata?"

"Don't bring me into this." my new grandfather answered gruffly. He was just like my new mother in that he didn't want me around either. I was bad news for his family.

My new grandmother tsked at her husband's unhelpful answer before turning to her daughter to harshly say, "Just take her with you! That isn't too hard to ask for is it, Sachiko?!"

Knowing that she lost the battle, my new mother silently picked me off the makeshift futon in defeat and took me outside with her. She held me silence as she strolled through the quiet village. It was the night of a new moon so only the soft glow of candlelight leaking out from the nearby huts lit the path. She said nothing during the walk as she let her feet led her towards an unknown location. There was nothing to say, after all, no normal nine month old baby would understand so why bother?

An hour of this behavior passed before my new mother came to a stop at a riverbank that was left of the small village. There had been a sudden down pour of rain recently so the river was running faster than normal and often washed up trash people discarded by tossing it into the river. There were broken nets discarded by fishermen, broken planks of wood that had broken off boats and wooden crates, and there was even a fully functional abandoned fishing boat. After staring hard at the abandoned boat on at the edge of the river, my new mother walked towards it with steadfast purpose. Before placing me in the boat, she looked at me once more, as if she were wondering if this was the right thing to do. However, her desire to be rid of me must have won rather quickly because she placed me on the boat in less than a minute of staring at me.

"The fallen blossom never returns to the branch; the shattered mirror never again reflects. I pray that we will never meet again." were the last words that woman said to me before she pushed the boat off the riverbank so that the river could take me and the boat away.

It was clear that she could care less about what would happen to me. The old abandoned fishing boat was, while functional, weathered and unstable. In fast enough rapids, the boat would be sure to sink and bring me down with it. On the ninth month of my short new life, my biological birth mother in this new life left me to die at the mercy of Mother Nature. That night was the last time I ever saw that woman ever again.

* * *

[1] The Edo period (江戸時代 Edo jidai), or Tokugawa period (徳川時代 Tokugawa jidai), is the period between 1603 and 1868 in the history of Japan, when Japanese society was under the rule of the Tokugawa shogunate and the country's 300 regional Daimyo. The period was characterized by economic growth, strict social order, isolationist foreign policies, and popular enjoyment of arts and culture.

[2] A common nickname for babies.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Chance. Stupid, dumb, blind chance. Just a part of the strange mechanism of the world, with its fits and coughs and starts and random collisions." ― Lauren Oliver, _Before I Fall_

The boat travel down the river at a frightening speed through the night. The waters were rough and there were many times I thought that the tiny fishing boat was going to capsize or smash into one of the many large rocks that dotted the river, but I was strangely fortunate. The worst that happened during my trip downstream was the occasional wave that came over the edge of the boat and sprayed me. Now don't get me wrong, being sprayed with cold water during the cold autumn night was still a horrible experience. I was cold, wet, and miserable throughout the night, but alive. However, due to the prolonged exposure to the cold, I was undoubtedly going to develop hypothermia.

Now, normally people stuck in the same situation as me would have been absolutely terrified. I mean, how often is there an adult stuck in a helpless infant's body? But, instead of being terrified out of my mind, I felt strangely calm through the entire ordeal. I had already died once and I had no fear of dying a second time. Sure, dying again was uncomfortable, painful, lonely, but I truly had nothing lose this time. No one cared for me. It was even my own new biological mother that condemned me to death this time, I wasn't be missed by anyone. Even I, myself, was not all that attached to this life right now. I didn't care that I was going to die again. Although, I really wished that death the second time wouldn't be as annoyingly uncomfortable as the first death. But on the bright side, if I did die again then I might finally get some damn answers to my thousands of questions because not knowing anything is not fun.

It was midmorning by the time the rickety old fishing boat I was on washed up onto the foreign riverbank of another small farming village by the name of Kami-Ishihara in the Musashi Province. The river had slowed near a shallow bend and the fishing boat couldn't quite follow the river down the bend as the bottom of the boat hit the riverbed. The old boat had gotten stuck in the shallow portion of the river where it was slowly nudged towards the riverbank by the small gentle waves hitting the side of the boat. After the fourteenth nudge from a small wave, the boat finally lifted itself off the riverbed and traveled the rest of the way to the shoreline. By the time the boat had reached land I was already suffering the full effects of hypothermia. I was shivering uncontrollably and violently. I had difficulty moving around and when I could move, my movements were far less coordinated than the normal uncoordinated movements of a baby. My skin was pale to the point of appearing slightly blue and I was suffering from hypoventilation, which meant my breathing was slow and shallow. This was it, I was going to die. Or so I thought. However, it appeared that fate was not yet determined. I wasn't going to die yet, not today.

"Teru-teru-bōzu, teru bozō[1]," I heard a young boy cheerfully sing nearby on the riverbank as he skipped closer to my worn boat, "Do make tomorrow a sunny day, like the sky in a dream sometime. If it's sunny I'll give you a golden bell— Huh? What's that? That wasn't there yesterday."

I heard the crunching of gravel underneath the young boy's zōri as he approached my old abandoned boat with unbidden curiosity. A tuff of messy black hair invaded my blurred line of sight first as the curious boy peeked over the edge of the boat. When the boy finally poked his whole head into the boat he froze in shock as he stared at his discovery. We both stared at each other dumbly in the eye for about a minute in total silence. I quickly assessed him the best I could with my sluggish hypothermia infected mind. He was a healthy looking preteen that looked like he was around twelve years of age. He was obviously ate well with his big body frame, but he wasn't fat. He had healthy looking muscles that must have developed from working farmland.

During the whole time I was assessing him, he just stared at me blankly with a dumb looking expression. Who knew what's going on in that mind of his? Just as I was about to come to the conclusion that he somehow spontaneously gained brain damage when he discovered me, he suddenly yelped in alarm, his loud voice grating on my sensitive ears.

"T-This is terrible!" He yelled in an obnoxiously loud panic.

You know, if I was going to die again, I would have preferred to die in a peaceful atmosphere. No one really wanted to die with someone yelling in his or her ear. Clumsily, the boy roughly snatched me up from the boat before he bolted to the village, through the village, and to a saya-ingen, or otherwise known as green bean, field on a small farm at breakneck speed.

"HELP!" the boy yelled as soon as a man and two older teenage boys, who were working the field, came within sight. "Otou-san! Otojirō-nii! Kumezō-nii!" These three must have been the boy's family.

"Katsugorō, what's this racket all about?" the man, most likely the father, paused his work and asked as soon as the young boy that was carrying me came to a stop in front of him. The other two teenage boys, probably older brothers, paused their work too and came to stand around the young boy.

"L-Look!" the boy, whose name was apparently Katsugorō, exclaimed as he stretch out his arms to present me to the father and the older brothers before he shot off his questions at the similar firing rate of a machine gun. "Who would abandon a baby in a place like that?! She's so cold and alone! Did her parents not want her?! Why would her parents do something like this?! Aren't parents supposed to love their child?! Why would they do something like this?! How could they not want her? We need to do some—"

"Whoa, slow down, Katsu-chan!" the tallest older brother interrupted as he tried to calm Katsugorō down. "We have no idea what you're talking about. Breathe first then explain start first with where you picked up that baby."

"Otojirō-nii! Don't use –chan with my name! It's not manly! What am I even say— I found her in an abandoned old fishing boat on the riverbank! We need to do something or the baby will die!" Katsugorō yelled rather quickly all in one giant breath while twitching impatiently. It was really uncomfortable to be held by this boy. All I wanted was to die in peace but there was no way I was going to have my way if he kept holding me and jerking around like this.

"Oh no, the poor little thing. Though I fear there is little we can do. She just looks so small and sickly." the father said, his voice full of pity. "Even if we try to help her, she'll still die."

"Otou-san's right, Katsu-chan." the shorter older brother, who was most likely Kumezō, said as he put the back of one of his fingers on my cheek. "She's freezing. She won't even last the rest of the day."

"I said don't add –chan to my name!" Katsugorō complained with discontent as he clung onto me tightly. "We can't just give up on her! It's not fair! She just started to live, so why does she have to die so soon?! Life can't be that cruel! Otou-san, didn't you say we should help those in need whenever we could?! What about now?!"

The father sighed tiredly at his youngest son and he wiped the sweat he worked up from working on the field off his face. "… Alright." the father answered Katsugorō after a baited moment of silence. "But you have to take care of her yourself. From now on, she's yours."

If I could then I would have bristled at the father's response right there. I may be dying, but I would have demanded that he rephrased that statement if I could. The way he said it made me sound like a pet. But to be completely fair, the father probably thought I was going to die anyways so this probably would be the perfect opportunity to use my impending death to teach his youngest son a lesson in life. While it was nice to offer help to those in need, it was sometimes pointless. Life is a cruel mistress. Even with help there would be no guarantees that those in need would survive and during a time where resources were limited, it would be best not to waste resources on someone that would die either way, as cruel as it may sound. Some of the important life lessons were the harshest.

"You won't regret it, Otou-san!" Kastugorō immediately exclaimed optimistically as he pulled me towards his warm chest. I snuggled closer to him to try to absorb as much heat as possible. "She'll be my daughter!" The father just merely nodded before he returned to the farm work.

Wait…rewind there a moment. This boy was not even a full teenager yet and he was going to try to raise me as his daughter? That was…completely insane. Did he even know how to take care of baby? Maybe he really is a little bit brain damaged. He was too young to understand this massive undertaking. Raising another human being was possibly one of the most difficult things to accomplish and at his young age he could not have possibly have all the necessary experience to raise a child successfully. There was no possible way that he could be a proper father.

"Hmm…what will I name you?" Katsugorō pondered out loud while looking down at me softly, causing Otojirō to frown.

"Are you sure you want to name her right now?" Otojirō asked his youngest brother. "She might not survive and it's always more painful when something with a name passes away."

"Of course she has to have a name!" the young boy objected vociferously as he turned to shield me from his brother's curious eye with his back. "She's somebody, not something! She's a person and a person has to have a name."

Just as Otojirō was about to retort to his youngest brother, Kumezō placed his hand on Otojirō's shoulder from behind and said with a laid back attitude, "Just leave him be. If he wants to give little Aka-chan a name then he should. Besides, he seem sure that she'll survive, so maybe we should believe in him? It would be nice to have a little girl running around here."

"But aren't you worried about how Katsu-chan will feel when she dies?" Otojirō argued back silently.

"I said don't add –chan to my name!" Katsugorō butt into his elder brothers' conversation. "And I can hear you! She won't die so easily. Just look into her eyes. She has a warrior's spirit."

Otojirō sighed, "Fine, do what you wish." He ruffled the young boy's hair affectionately before he left to rejoin his father with the farm work.

"Hmm… What about Hitomi[2]?" suggested Kumezō. "She does have beautiful eyes."

"She does, but somehow it doesn't feel right." Katsugorō said. "Oh! I know! I'll name her Shizuka!"

"Shizuka?" asked the older brother.

"Yeah! Babies are normally really loud, right? But she's so silent and Shizuka means quiet." Katsugorō answered before he looked down at me with a great big grin. "Your name is now Shizuka!"

"So now that you've named her, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to go give her a warm bath so she doesn't feel so cold anymore." the young boy said before he ran off towards the house with me in his arms.

It was the November of 1846 and the boy who had found was Miyagawa Katsugoro, the man the world would one day come to know as Kondou Isami and the leader of the Shinsengumi.

* * *

[1] A little traditional hand-made doll which supposedly brings sunshine. "Teru" is a Japanese verb which describes sunshine, and a "bōzu" is a Buddhist monk. There is a famous warabe uta which is about these little dolls which are seen hanging everywhere on rainy days.

[2] From Japanese 瞳 "pupil of the eye". It can also come from 智 (hito) "wisdom, intellect" and 美 (mi) "beautiful". This name is often written ひとみ using the hiragana writing system.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Our ability to adapt is amazing. Our ability to change isn't quite as spectacular." ― Lisa Lutz, _The Spellmans Strike Again_

"Repeat after me now, Shizu-chan." Miyagawa Katsugorō said while pointing to himself as he sat next to me on a mat. "O∙tou∙san[1]."

I stared at my new "father" blankly before I went back to amusing myself with the medium-sized rubber ball that was on the mat in front of me. It was now three weeks after being picked up by the young boy and I had recovered nicely from my case of hypothermia without any complications. The human body, while fragile, was also strangely resilient at the same time. When I was first adopted, I was fully expecting to die shortly afterwards, but to my own surprise and nearly everyone else's surprise, I survived. After realizing that I wasn't going to die, the other doubtful, new family members quickly rushed to obtain everything a baby girl would need from the neighbors and the marketplace. They certainly weren't going to deprive their new family member of what they believed to be the "basics". Before I knew it, I was surrounded by plenty of clean clothing, toys, and whatever a baby could possibly need. They were really striving to spoil me since it had been quite some time since they had a girl in the house seeing that the person that would have filled the role of "grandmother" had died a while back before I arrived.

The young boy sighed exasperatedly before taking the ball from my hands and placed in on the mat behind him. "No." he said firmly as he tried to get me to speak again. "Repeat after me: O∙tou∙san."

I ignored him and crawled around him to retrieve the ball he confiscated. After I had the ball in my hand, I merely planted my little butt on the mat and sat behind him while rolling the ball around on the mat. I wasn't interested in his little speaking lesson nor did I feel the need or want to bond with him. I still had a serious case of disconnect with this new body. I couldn't see this boy as my family. I already had my own family with a real mom and dad back in the future and I didn't need a new one.

Katsugorō yelled in into the empty air in frustration as he pulled on his hair before falling over onto the mat at my reaction, causing the nearby Otojirō to burst out laughing at his younger brother.

"Relax, she's probably too young to speak. She's tiny compared to the other babies in the village." Otojirō said mirthfully as he watched his younger brother roll around on the floor in frustration. "Although this does make me wonder how old she is. Otou-san, Kumezō, how old do you think little Shizuka-chan is?"

"I'd guess around nine to ten months old." Kumezō guessed with a grin as he continued to laugh internally at his youngest brother's frustration. "She can sit up by herself, crawl, pull herself up into standing position using some furniture, and walk a bit as long as she's holding on to something. What do you think, Otou-san?"

"Yes, that sounds about right, but her lack of 'baby talk' worries me along with her behavior." the father of the boys said with a sobering expression. "She doesn't try to talk, she doesn't cry, and she acts like she doesn't want to get close to us. You did name her well, but her behavior makes me wonder is she really is 'all there'."

"She is!" Katsugorō objected. "She's really smart! Remember that puzzle box you gave to Kumezō-nii that he was never able to solve? I gave it to her to play with two days ago and she solved it in like five minutes!"

"Then why doesn't she respond to you, or any of us?" questioned Otojirō.

Katsugorō's face fell immediately after the question. That was a good question. "May— Maybe she doesn't like me…" he mumbled while looking downcast.

Damn it. Now he looked like a kicked puppy and I feeling more and more guilty by the second. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to indulge his wants a little bit? He did rescue me from certain death by not leaving me on that old fishing boat and I should repay him somehow. I let the ball roll off the mat before I got on my hands and knees and started crawling back to my "father". When I got close enough, I reached up and tugged on his sleeve to catch his attention.

"Ch…ch…chi...ue…" I tested my new voice. Well, my vocal cords seem to work just fine. Let's see if I get my speech under control and form whole words now.

At my attempt to communicate, Katsugorō instantly cheered up and smiled encouragingly at me while the others watched on in curiosity. Why was there a sudden change in little Shizuka-chan's behavior?

"That's it!" Katsugorō cheered me on. "Say Otou-san."

"Chi…chi…chi…" I continued to say before I finally spat out the word, "Chichi-ue[2]!"

Katsugorō, or should I call him Chichi-ue now, crashed onto the floor comically at the word I finally spat out and whined with those big cartoon-like tears running down his face. "Nooo, that's not what I wanted you to call me. I wanted you to call me the affectionate Otou-san, not the formally stiff Chichi-ue. I wanted to have the cute and affectionate relationship with my darling daughter, not the stiff and strict relationship."

I stared at Chichi-ue blankly. I wasn't going to call anyone other than my own real father from my past life "Dad". It did help that the Japanese words for dad sounded nothing like the English and Chinese terms, but if I was going to call Katsugorō my "father" then I wasn't going to use the informal, affectionate term I would have reserved normally for my dad from my past life. This was as far as I was willing to go.

"Whoa! Did you just hear her speak? I wasn't just hearing things, right?" Kumezō asked in amazement. I probably should start referring the two older brothers as "uncles" now.

"No, you weren't hearing things." the Otojirō-oji-san[3] said with just as much amazement. "She just spoke!"

"But she wasn't repeating after Katsugorō." the father of the boys, or Ojii-chan[4], said as he narrowed his eyes at me with suspicion. "She knew that Chichi-ue was the more formal term for Otou-san, the question is: How?"

"Oh! Maybe it was when we took her out for a stroll yesterday." suggested Otojirō-oji-san. "Remember? We passed by Omasa-san when she was calling her father-in-law Chichi-ue. Maybe she figured it out from that?"

"How could she?" argued Kumezō-oji-san as he observed me curiously. "She's too young to understand."

"I know how." Ojii-chan said as he narrowed his eyes at me even more to look at me seriously. I leaned in to hear his answer. Maybe he somehow knew what my situation was. Maybe he had the answers I was looking for. However, I was sorely disappointed when he broke out into proud, boisterous laugh. "She must be one of those rare genius babies."

…

…

…

Why did I ever think that Ojii-chan had the answer again?

* * *

"Look, Shizu-chan!" Chichi-ue exclaimed as he waved me over with one hand and pointed at the setting sun with the other. I left the flower I was staring at alone and went to Chichi-ue's side. We were both walking back home from a dojo called Shieikan Hall. Chichi-ue had just started going there daily after all the farm work was completed for the day and I always tagged along. "The sun's setting. Doesn't it look beautiful? Do you want to sit on Otou-san's shoulder and watch the sunset together?" Chichi-ue still hadn't given up on trying to get me to call him "Otou-san".

I nodded silently before I toddled over to where Chichi-ue was standing and clasped his hand lightly. He grinned happily down at me before he heaved me up onto his right shoulder and turn back towards the setting sun. It was now 1848, two years after I came into the lives of Miyagawa's family. At the start of this year, Chichi-ue had started going to Shieikan Hall[5] after working on the fields every day to train in the Tennen Rishin-ryū[6] sword style and while I was still pretty distant, I found myself following Chichi-ue after he left home every day to go to the dojo. I was just so use to his presence now that it felt awfully strange to not be around him and I felt the extreme need normality. Once Chichi-ue saw that I was following him, he couldn't bear to turn me away so I got to go with him to the dojo daily.

"I wonder what's for dinner tonight. I think Kumezō-nii's cooking tonight." Chichi-ue said out loud to himself after the sun disappeared behind the mountains before he looked up at me and asked, "What do you want to eat, Shizu-chan?"

I shrugged my shoulders silently in response causing Chichi-ue to frown while looking up at me.

"Use your words, Shizu-chan." Chichi-ue reprimanded me lightly. I wasn't the most loquacious child and usually only spoke when spoken to.

I blushed lightly at the light scolding before saying, "I don't care what I eat as long as we all have food eat." with my quiet ghostlike voice that almost disappeared into the wind. I really didn't care what I ate for dinner as long as it had the proper nutrients I needed. I wasn't a picky eater and in a time where there wasn't all that much food security, no one could really afford to be a picky eater.

Chichi-ue chuckled at my answer. "I bet everyone wishes they had you as their daughter just for your eating habits. Well, let's go back home now."

"Okay." I said quietly as Chichi-ue walked the rest of the way home with me sitting on his shoulder.

When we arrived home, Chichi-ue and I were greeted with the delicious scent of an oden style hotpot. Mmm…the smell of the fishcake was mouthwatering. It must have been market day today. Ojii-chan smiled widely at me when he saw me sitting on Chichi-ue's shoulder and reach over to pick me off of his shoulder.

"How was my little granddaughter today? Where you good for your Otou-san at the dojo today?" Ojii-chan cooed at me as he held me in his arms.

"Um!" I cutely said in conformation while nodding before asking about his back. He had pulled a muscle while tilling the soil earlier this morning and he was being pretty reckless by picking me up right now. "Ojii-chan's back still hurts?"

"No, all better now. See, I can pick you up now too."

"But you better put her down now, Otou-san." Otojirō-oji-san said teasingly as he pulled a stack of bowls from a cabinet towards the back of the room and turn around to face us with the bowls in his hands. "You can still hurt your back again, old man."

"Nonsense!" Ojii-chan retorted as he placed me on the ground. As soon as my feet touched the ground, I ran off towards Kumezō-oji-san. I wanted to see how he prepared tonight's meal. As a girl in the late Tokugawa era, I would be expected to be able to prepare proper meals in the future. I'd better start learning how to cook this era's food with cutlery tools this time period had available. There's nothing wrong with getting head starts where possible. While I was heading towards Kumezō-oji-san, Oji-chan declared, "I'm at the age where I can be called old yet!" before he flexed his muscles in a silly manner to show off his youth.

"Maybe not yet, but you're getting there." Kumezō-oji-san snorted as he stirred the delectable food in the pot that was hanging over the open fire pit. "Oops, careful Shizuka-chan. You don't want to burn yourself by getting to close to the fire."

"I know that." I pouted. I knew how to handle myself around fire! I ignored Kumezō-oji-san's warning and stood on my tippy toes nearby as I tried to peer at the ingredients in the pot, but I couldn't really see anything other than the fishcakes that were poking up from under the broth. It really sucked to be so short sometimes.

"Shizuka-chan." Kumezō-oji-san repeated my name sternly when I didn't back away from the flames. I turned to look at him with big innocent eyes before I backed away from the flame. Fine, I would let him has his way this time. "Good girl." he sighed in relief. "Now go help Otojirō-oji-san get the chopsticks."

I nodded obediently before I rushed off with bright childlike energy to find the chopsticks we stored in the cabinet against the wall and next to the cabinet where we kept the bowls and plates. Chichi-ue grinned at my childish energy before he went to go help Otojirō-oji-san with the set up the bowls and the little table-like trays that had already been place on the floor near the fire. When I reached the closed cabinet, I stood on my toes just so I could reach the handle just to pull the cabinet doors open. With the cabinet door opened, I jumped to reach the container containing the chopsticks, but I totally failed to get them. I jumped a few more times to attempt to reach the chopsticks, but alas, I still couldn't reach them and there weren't any small stools I could stand on nearby. Why did Kumezō-oji-san ask me to fetch the chopsticks again? He knew I was too short to reach them. I turned to shoot him a peeved look only to see him humming with a carefree expression while stirring the pot… He did that just to get me out of the way, didn't he? Chichi-ue laughed out loud at my expression before he came up from behind me and grabbed the chopsticks in the cabinet before handing them to me.

"There you go, Shizu-chan." Chichi-ue said with an amused grin. "Do you want to use a spoon today?"

Chichi-ue always asked me this before each meal and the answer was and always will be the same. I shook my head vehemently. I knew how to use chopsticks and my pride from my previous life wouldn't let me use a spoon while everyone else was using chopsticks. It was true that at age two my hands didn't have their fine-tuned motor control yet, but I was skilled with my hands…hmm, that sounded a bit dirty… But all the same, I was skilled with my hands before I died, and I was determined to get that skill back, even if that did mean I would look silly while trying to eat my meals right now.

"Are you sure, Shizu-chan? There's soup today." Chichi-ue explained as he knelt down look me in the eye while patting my head. "I don't want you to accidentally splash yourself with the hot soup."

"I won't burn myself. I can use chopsticks." I dismissed the spoon suggestion with a pout and I turned around to toddle towards Otojirō-oji-san with my unsteady feet so I could hand him the eating utensils before I ran back towards Kumezō-oji-san to watch him cook. I changed my mind. He wasn't going to get rid of me so easily.

"Shizuka-chan! Stop standing so close to the fire!" Kumezō-oji-san scolded me once more when he took his eyes off the pot only to see me standing next to him again. "Why do you never listen to me when I'm cooking?"

"Kumezō-oji-san, the broth is boiling over the sides of the pot." I pointed out bluntly. When he turned to scold me again for the second time, he stopped paying attention to the contents of the pot and now the soup was escaping over the sides of the pot from the temperature being too high.

"Shit!" he cried in alarm as he rushed to fix his mistake.

"Kumezō-nii! No foul language around Shizu-chan!" Chichi-ue instantly exclaimed as he swooped in to pick me up and took me further away from the fire and the angry spitting pot.

And for the sake of being a complete ass just because I had nothing better to do, I repeated after Kumezō-oji-san and said, "Shit. What does 'shit' mean?"

"Now look what you did Kumezō!" Ojii-chan yelled before he turned to me and said, "Shizuka-chan, that's a bad word so you should never say it, okay?"

"Okay." I reassured Ojii-chan as I watched Kumezō-oji-san panic like a headless chicken. Hehehe! That was fun.

* * *

Crash!

A loud sound startled me out of my sleep and I quickly moved closer to Chichi-ue. Being a poor farming family, everyone slept on the same straw mat on the floor of the same room during the night. It wasn't the most comfortable arrangement, but it made it easy to see who was in bed and who was still awake. When I that loud crash startled me awake, I had jumped up in alarm and quickly scanned the mat. Everyone was still on the mat so that meant that whatever made that loud sound in the other room was either an animal that had managed to get into the house or it was a thief.

"Shh… It's okay Shizu-chan." Chichi-ue tried to calm me down before he looked to his older brothers and his father. "Otojirō-nii, Kumezō-nii, we're going to go investigate what caused that sound. Otou-san, stay here with Shizu-chan."

All the other men silently in agreement before all of them sprang into action. Otojirō-oji-san and Kumezō-oji-san got up out of bed first to grab their own bokken and left the room to investigate first while Chichi-ue first made sure I was snuggly in Ojii-chan's arms first before he grabbed his own bokken and ran off to join his brothers.

"Hush now, Shizuka-chan." Ojii-chan whispered kindly as he pat my back, despite the fact I was already calm and quiet. "Everything will be fine. Your Otou-san and your two Oji-sans will chase the thief away."

"But what if it's an animal like a wild boar?" I questioned him. Trying to chase off a wild boar would be a much more difficult task than chasing off a human.

"No, it's not an animal." Ojii-chan stated. "An animal would be far louder. This is a clumsy thief. Besides there have been thefts in other nearby villages."

"Will they be alright?" I still didn't think of them as my family, but I liked them and didn't want anyone to be hurt in this encounter.

"Yes. Don't worry, they're big strong men and they'll beat the thief up until he's black and blue and runs away in fright." he said before he lightly tapped on the tip of my nose. He certainly had a lot of faith in his sons.

"Hey you!" I suddenly heard Chichi-ue yell in another room of the house. "You're not stealing from this family!"

"You can't stop me, you limp noodle!" I heard the gruff voice mystery man retort.

"We'll see about that! Prepare yourself!" I heard Chichi-ue declare before he gave a loud battle cry, probably just before he charged at the thief.

There were brief sounds of wood clashing upon wood in the scuffle before I heard the loud snapping sound of wood. There were sounds of struggle after that. Then I heard a loud, "Oof!"

"Surrender now!" I heard Chichi-ue demand before I heard the sound of footsteps running towards the source of the scuffle.

"We've got you surrounded now!" I heard Kumezō-oji-san say in the other room.

"You're not getting anything from this household!" Otojirō-oji-san said next.

The next thing I knew, I heard more thumping and yelps of pain filled the house before I looked through the bedroom window just in time to see the thief abort his mission and flee into the night. The morning soon after that, rumors of how strong Chichi-ue had started spread out through the village and into the outskirts of Edo. While Otojirō-oji-san and Kumezō-oji-san also helped chase off the thief, it was originally Chichi-ue who beat the thief into submission. When the rumor of how Chichi-ue ran the thief off finally reached the master of Shieikan Hall, the master of the dojo wasted no time adopting Chichi-ue to name him as his heir and the successor of the dojo. In 1849, Chichi-ue moved into Shieikan Hall as the heir and a permanent resident of the hall and seeing that how he couldn't bear to leave me behind, he brought me with him. From the moment of his adoption as the successor of Shieikan Hall he became known as Kondou Isami and I became Kondou Shizuka.

* * *

"Ah, you're finally here." Shuusai-sensei, the master of Shieikan Hall said as he came to greet Chichi-ue at the front door when we arrived. "Oh? And little Shizuka-chan also came too."

"Ah, well, I just couldn't bear to leave her behind so I brought her with me." Chichi-ue explain sheepishly as he scratched the back of his neck.

I managed the most polite bow I could with my three year old body while saying, "We'll be in your hands now so please take care of us." From now on, we were going to be living at the dojo rather than back on the Miyagawa family farm, so it was best to be polite and on my best behavior.

"My, so polite." Shuusai-sensei said with pleasant surprise. Most young kids at this age would either act super bratty or super shy, but I was just simply polite. "Despite her following you here daily for the past year, I think this is the first time I heard her speak." he said to Chichi-ue.

"Oh, that just because Shizu-chan doesn't really like to speak." Chichi-ue explained to Shuusai-sensei. "She really acts more like a ghost than a child most of the time. She's small, quiet, and unnoticeable most of the time. She likes to follow me around while making no noise. But she won't be any trouble. She knows how to behave herself and she's also more capable than all the children her age."

"A ghost? Really now." Shuusai-sensei said while observing me with more interest. "Well, let's get the two of you situated. Come on inside."

Chichi-ue gave me a small nudge with his knee to signify that I should follow Shuusai-sensei inside the dojo and towards the living quarters. I quickly followed his silent instruction and shuffled after the dojo's master while Chichi-ue followed closely behind.

"I wasn't aware that Shizuka-chan was coming with you, so the both of you will have to share a single room." Shuusai-sensei said when he came to a stop in front the open door of a fairly spacious room."

"That's no problem. Since Shizu-chan is still so young, I'd prefer to have her close by." Chichi-ue answered before he beckoned me closer. "Shizu-chan, come closer and take a look at where we'll be living from now on."

I shuffled closer and peeked around Chichi-ue's leg to get a closer look at the room. It was well furnished and it was a pretty large room for two people to share. There'd be no complaints from me. I looked up at Chichi-ue when he gently dropped his hand on the top of my head.

"Do you like the room?" Chichi-ue asked while patting my head affectionately.

I nodded yes and Shuusai-sensei smiled down at me kindly.

"I'll go fetch another futon for Shizuka-chan to sleep on, so why don't you two get comfortable?"

Wait! I got to have my own bed this time?

"Okay!" I exclaimed cheerfully before I quickly toddled into the room, causing both men to burst out laughing at my sudden boldness. I wouldn't have minded if I still had to sleep with Chichi-ue, but he snored and drooled in his sleep sometimes. If I was going to get my own futon then I certainly wasn't going to turn it down. This was the start of a new chapter in our lives.

* * *

[1] Used to address one's father.

[2] Used to address one's father (archaic) and is usually more formal than using Otou-san.

[3] Used to address one's uncle.

[4] Used to address one's grandfather.

[5] The Shieikan is the Tennen Rishin Ryu Dojo, which existed in Ichigaya, Tokyo. The Dojo was established by Kondou Shusuke in 1839. After Kondou Isami joined the Roshigumi, Sato Hikogoro maintained it until 1867.

[6] This style, like other koryū arts, teaches kenjutsu, bōjutsu, and jūjutsu. The style was famous in Edo, and was headquartered at the Shieikan dojo.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Tragedies don't interest me, tragedies and heartbreaks are all alike, what matters is how a person meets them, how they survive them… Given the inevitability of losses and disappointments in life, that's where the challenge is and the uniqueness. I was offering her sympathy." ― Dorothy Gilman, _Incident At Badamya_

"Achoo!" I sneezed loudly into my blanket, which I had pulled up high enough to cover my nose and mouth. I was sitting on my futon in Chichi-ue's and mine room in Shieikan Hall.

At four years old, there were more pleasant illnesses to be stuck with. I had gone to bed early three nights ago because I had a slight fever and after staying in bed during those next three day, I woke up this morning with a mild case of the measles. Instead of being a normal person and catching the measles during an epidemic, I had to be strange and catch it while virtually no one around me was sick with the blasted illness. Just how did that happen?

"Shizu-chan you should lay back down and sleep." Chichi-ue voiced his concern as he reached over to place his hand on my forehead to check my temperature, but I quickly moved away from his hand. "Shizuka!" he scolded me for my action. "I know you don't like to be touched when you're sick, but I need to check your temperature."

"Chichi-ue, I have the measles and it is a highly contagious virus that lives in the nose and throat mucus of an infected person. It can spread to others easily through coughing and sneezing. Also, measles virus can live for up to two hours in an airspace where the infected person coughed or sneezed. If other people breathe the contaminated air or touch the infected surface, then touch their eyes, noses, or mouths, they can become infected. Measles is so contagious that if one person has it, 90% of the people close to that person who are not immune will also become infected[1]." I explained weakly with my muffled voice before I laid back down. "You shouldn't be touching me or be in the same room as me. I'll get you sick."

"But still! I have to check your temperature and then I need to run out to find a physician to look at you." Chichi-ue said as he tried to take my temperature again, completely ignoring the fact that I just spat out information I should have had no way of knowing. He was far too busy worrying about my health and grew increasingly frustrated when he failed again to take my temperature when I blocked his hand by pulling the blanket over my head. "Shizuka! Stop being so difficult!"

"You don't need to take my temperature. I have a fever. When the rashes from the measles appear, a fever that can go as high as 40˚ Celsius usually also appears at the same time[2]." I said from under my blanket as I rolled uncomfortably onto my side. One thing I was really starting to wish for was that this body had received a measles vaccination. The measles really was a horrible illness. "And I don't need a physician. There's nothing a physician can do to treat measles. I just need lots of sleep, water, and vitamin A."

"Eh? Vitamin A?" Chichi-ue questioned as I caught his attention.

"People with low levels of vitamin A are more likely to have a more severe case of measles. Giving vitamin A may lessen the severity of the measles and prevent complications. Giving me a large dose of 200,000 IU for two days and it should help me improve my condition and speed up my recovery[3]." I answered after a small cough. "Cooked sweet potatoes have the plenty of vitamin A. There's generally 19,218 IU in 100 grams of cooked sweet potatoes."

Yes, cooked sweet potatoes really did have large quantities of vitamin A, but that was still a lot of sweet potatoes for me to eat in one day. It was possible to eat that many cooked sweet potatoes in one day, but in order to do so I was going to have to eat nothing but cooked sweet potatoes. To get approximately 200,000 IU of vitamin A in one day I would have to eat about 1,040.69 grams worth of sweet potatoes which was roughly about 2.31 pounds of sweet potatoes, quite a bit for a four year old to consume.

"Alright!" Chichi-ue exclaimed as he leapt to his feet. "Stay there and I'll go cook some sweet potatoes for you!"

"Wait…" I said but Chichi-ue didn't hear me as her made a mad dash for the kitchen, "…you should isolate yourself for a little more than two weeks to make sure you didn't contract the measles from me…" I finished in a mumble as I laid alone in the room.

Despite Chichi-ue's poor health practices in relationship to prevention, by some miracle, he did not contract the measles while taking care of me. The sweet potatoes did their part in speeding up recovery time and in preventing complications, which was great because complications could have been fatal to me. The reason that the measles could be fatal to young children under five and adults over twenty was because the risks of complications increased in those populations. Within about a month and a half, I had recovered quickly and was able to stop being bedridden. But there was one interesting factor that had come out of my measles infection. I had thought that Chichi-ue had completely ignored the amount of medical knowledge I knew, but he did not. After my fever broke and I started recovering, Chichi-ue gave me a blank journal to amuse myself with while I was still bedridden. He told me teasingly that I should write down whatever medical knowledge I knew despite the fact that he never taught me how to write. Taking up his challenge, I completely shocked him by filling up the journal with Chinese and medical diagrams within a week. After he saw my work, Chichi-ue's jaw dropped and he instantly disappeared to a nearby temple to pray for an entire week. After he returned from the temple, Chichi-ue made sure he took the time to properly teach me how to read and write Japanese. While I had always been called a genius child before, after this event, I was no longer just called a genius child but was actually treated as one now too.

* * *

"Shizu-chan!" Chichi-ue called while being completely unaware I was washing the floor right in front of him below his line of sight. I was still pretty small at age six. "Darn it. I could have sworn that she was in this room."

"But I'm still in this room." I said, finally making myself known. Chichi-ue jumped about three feet into the air in fright before he looked down at where I was.

"You scared me there." he sighed out while patting his chest to try to slow his racing heart. "How do you keep disappearing like that? Nevermind that. I have some free time now, do you want to play Otou-san now?"

"I'm not done with my chores yet." I said as I went back to washing the wooden floor.

No one actually really assigned me any chores, I self-assigned the chores to myself. With an adult mind in a child's body, I wasn't actually really interested in what the normal children "my age" were interested in. I did fool around every once in a while, but I wasn't going to spend most of my time playing with the children in the neighborhood. I did like children, but I couldn't spend my whole day playing with them without feeling like their babysitter at the end of the day. I had already gone through that stage of childhood in my past life where playing with others was endless fun, but now I had outgrown the other children on the mental stage and could not connect well with them at all. This lack of connection with others when I played with them made me feel more alone than when I really was physically alone, so I opted to spend most of my time away from the other children. It was obvious that Chichi-ue had become concerned in my lack of wanting to connect with the other children and he was now trying to remedy the situation by trying to get me to at least play a little bit, like the other children, so I could finally connect with others "my age".

"Shizu-chan," Chichi-ue said with an upset frown, "no one actually gave you any chores to do. You're six and you should be spending more time playing rather than worrying about chores."

"I rather do chores right now than go out and play." I deflected Chichi-ue again.

He sighed rather dejectedly after that last refusal and looked at me sadly. I didn't act like the cute little daughter that he had in mind from when he first adopted me. Refusing to give up on me completely, he stood behind me thinking for a little while before a mischievous grin erupted on his face. Uh-oh, I wasn't liking the look of that grin on his face. What was he planning?

He quickly reached down and snagged me up, causing me to drop the rag I was using to polish the floor, and tossed me over his shoulder before he began to walk outside with steps full of purpose. I, on the other hand, was too stunned at his actions to really even react.

"W-What? W-Where are we going?" I asked in complete surprise from my spot on his shoulder once I got my voice back. I wasn't quite sure how I was supposed to react to this sudden action.

"Hahaha! You'll see." Chichi-ue exclaimed boisterously. "I'm sure you'll like it."

We didn't go too far after Chichi-ue picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder. We got as far as the courtyard of the dojo before he put me down on the ground and pointed to the low dip of the roof. I looked in the direction her was pointing at, but all I could see were the tiles of the roof. If there was anything higher up on the roof then I couldn't see it because of my short height.

"All I see is the roof?" I said to Chichi-ue as I looked at him inquisitively. Was he expecting me to see something else?

"What do you think is up there?" he asked with an exited grin.

"Umm… Leaves?" We did have a tree in the courtyard nearby.

"Shh, listen careful and you'll see." Chichi-ue encouraged me. I fell silent and listen carefully for…whatever it was that he wanted me to hear. Before long I heard a small series of squeaky meows. There were kittens living on our roof? I loved cats! How did I not notice their cries before?

"There are kittens up there?" I asked while bouncing up and down excitedly. It's been awhile since I have seen any kittens.

Chichi-ue laughed at by sudden cheerfulness while grinning proudly at his own achievement. "Haha!" he exclaimed merrily. "I found a litter of kittens living in a small niche on the roof the other day while I was up there cleaning off the leaves. Do you want to see them?"

"Yes, yes, yes!" I bounced cutely. I hadn't been this excited in a while.

"Yosh! Let's go then!" Chichi-ue said as he pumped his right fist into the air childishly.

He quickly knelt down so I could climb onto his back. With me securely attached onto his back like a baby koala, he went to grab the latter so he could lean it against the house. He quickly scurried up the latter and onto the roof when then latter was in place and as he stepped on the roof, I saw a litter of five kittens and the mother cat sitting in a small niche under the overhang of another part of a slightly taller roof.

"Do you want to get closer, Shizu-chan?" asked Chichi-ue. I nodded fervently in response. Chichi-ue walked a bit closer to the group of cats and placed me down on the roof when we were both safely far away from the edge.

When I was placed down on the roof, I slowly inched closer to the cats before I knelt down and stuck my hand out towards the cats slowly. A brave, small calico colored kitten stared at me with curiosity and trotted towards my hand before tentatively tapping it with one of its paws. When it deemed that I was harmless, the little kitten started purring and rubbing against my hand, causing me to smile in delight.

"Look, Chichi-ue!" I gushed childishly in a rushed happiness as I gently rubbed the kitten between the ears. It was so cute! "She's friendly!"

"She is, isn't she?" said Chichi-ue as he knelt down next to me and lightly scratched the kitten's back. He smiled gently at me when I giggled at the kitten when it started playing with my fingers.

"Can we keep her? Please?" I immediately asked when it appeared I couldn't get enough of the little kitten.

"I'm afraid we can't, Shizu-chan. She has her own family and I know she wouldn't want to be taken away from her family."

"Then can we keep all the cats?"

Chichi-ue chuckled at my last question. He knew that question was coming next. "I wish we could, but you know Shuusai-sensei doesn't allow pets inside the dojo. We need to respect his rules."

"Aww…" I deflated as I looked at Chichi-ue with big sad eyes. I really wanted to have a small furry companion to chase away the loneliness.

"But," he continued after my disappointment, "we can come up here to play with them while their still living here. Would you like that instead?"

I nodded in response. That seemed like a good compromise. For the next few months I would always eagerly run to go find Chichi-ue after each class. I couldn't get onto the roof without his help and I was really starting to come to enjoy goofing off with Chichi-ue every chance I got. Chichi-ue on the other hand was pretty happy to discover that all he needed to cure my standoffish attitude was the calico kitten, which was eventually named Fuku[4]. Chichi-ue would always be thankful to little Fuku for helping me become a little less emotionally distant towards him.

"Chichi-ue! Chichi-ue!" I called him as I dashed up to him with a bubbly attitude just as he bid his last student farewell for the day a few months after my first encounter with the cats. "Let's go play with Fuku now!" I exclaimed as I tugged on his hands. I was acting rather childish, but hey, I loved that cat.

"Alright, alright." he said with a large grin. He picked me up rather playfully before we rushed off towards where the cats usually were.

However, when we got up onto the roof today, something was different. The cats were gone. I knew that the mother cat and her kittens were only going to stay on that little section of the roof until the kittens were old fully grown and able to survive on their own, but that did not help me prepare in any way for the pang of sadness I had when they finally did leave.

Chichi-ue knelt down and tried to comfort me when he saw how upset I was when I saw that the cats were gone. "Shizu-chan… I'm so sorry…"

"It's okay." I mumbled sadly before I offered Chichi-ue a small smile. "I knew they would leave eventually. At least all the kittens grew up to be healthy and they can now start their own individual lives as healthy adults."

He returned my smile with his own small smile and ruffled my hair. "It's a good thing you understand. You really don't think like the average young child. Come on, let's go back down."

I nodded and let Chichi-ue take me off the roof again. Later that night, when I was sitting Chichi-ue's lap on the porch, I was pleasantly surprised by visitor. Our little visitor appeared waltzed up to us while we were looking at the stars.

"Do you remember the name of that constellation?" Chichi-ue asked as he pointed to a series of stars in the night sky.

"That one's Ryuukotu." I answered after squinting at the stars for a few short seconds. "Is there a story behind that constellation?"

"There is." Chichi-ue said. "You see, when—"

"Meow," a small cry interrupted Chichi-ue. We both turned our heads towards the sound of that interruption only to see a familiar calico cat.

"It's Fuku!" I exclaimed happily. What was she still doing here?

"Oh! It is!" Chichi-ue said mirthfully before he started clicking his tongue at the young cat. "Come here, Fuku."

Fuku responded affectionately and waltz up to us before she started rubbing herself up against Chichi-ue's leg and demanding her daily pets. From then on, Fuku came back every few days to come and visit us. She especially loved it when Chichi-ue snuck her an extra fish from the kitchen. Shuusai-sensei, on the other hand, was confused at why the fish kept on disappearing before he had the chance to cook them.

* * *

It was the evening of the year 1853, I was seven years old when my life changed once again. I was looking for Chichi-ue because I wanted show him the pretty sakura branch that Fuku had brought me a bit earlier when she dropped by to visit me, but Chichi-ue, and even Shuusai-sensei, were nowhere to be found inside the dojo. Deciding that I would make more progress searching for them outside the building, I went outside into the courtyard and that's when some voices caught my attention.

"Sensei, please take care of my otouto[5]." I heard a feminine voice from right outside the front gates of the dojo grounds. "… Come on, your greetings."

I quietly sneaked over to the front gates and poked my head out the open gates just enough to see what was going on. A pretty young woman was bowing deeply at both Chichi-ue and Shuusai-sensei while she placing her left hand on the young boy's head, who was standing next to her. The young boy was probably younger than ten years old. He was dressed in a simple brown kimono and had his reddish brown hair tied up into a high ponytail. His bright emerald green colored eyes were focused on the ground in front of him, showing that he was trying to hide his sadness.

After some urging from who appeared to be his elder sister, the young boy bowed respectfully and said quietly, "Please take care of me." My first impression of him was that he was a meek boy.

There was some more hushed conversing after the boy's bow, none of which I could hear from my location. It was too quiet to make sense of most of the conversation, but I did catch some words like: "take care"; "be good"; "no money"; and "new home". While I could not hear much of the conversation, I understood what was going on. What most like happened was that the young woman could no longer afford to take care of her younger brother anymore and was now asking Chichi-ue and Shuusai-sensei if they could give him a new home. Those two were most likely orphans. After a few more minutes of this hushed talking, the young woman bowed deeply once more to both Chichi-ue and Shuusai-sensei before she sadly pat her younger brother one last time on the head before she left.

When the young woman left, Shuusai-sensei turned and headed back towards the dojo. He smiled silently at me as he passed me on the way back in the dojo. After Shuusai-sensei entered the dojo, I turned my attention back onto the Chichi-ue and the boy. The boy was silently standing outside the dojo and looking at the direction that his sister left in. Chichi-ue looked at the boy before putting his hand on the boys shoulder as a gesture of comfort.

"Shizu-chan, you can come out here now. I know you're there." Chichi-ue said before he turned his head to look at me. Oops, I had been discovered. He had gotten really good at detecting where I was now, unlike all the other people that attended the dojo. I remain somewhat of a myth to the students with half of them believing that I didn't really exist. I had absolutely no presence and I was as quiet as a ghost most of the time.

When Chichi-ue called me out, I stepped out from behind the wall and quickly went out to where Chichi-ue and the boy was standing. The boy hand turned around when he heard Chichi-ue call me.

"Come over here and meet the dojo's newest live-in-student. This is Okita Souji." he said as he gestured to the boy before he introduced me to the boy, "This is my daughter, Kondou Shizuka. Don't be fooled about her small size though. She's only two years younger than you."

I bowed and replied with a small fairylike voice, "It is a pleasure to meet Okita-san. I hope we will all get along well."

Said boy did not respond and continued to stare at me with melancholy, but then again, if he did respond then I would have been surprised. He was just given away by his older sister because she could not afford to keep him. He had less than your normal average orphan to be happy about. I offered him the sakura branch that Fuku gave me in a small effort to cheer him up a bit, but it was pretty useless. He took the branch and…that was about it.

Chichi-ue chuckled at my behavior before saying, "There's no need to act so formal with each other Shizu-chan. You and Souji should just call each other by each other's first name." Then he turned to the boy to say cheerfully, "You too Souji. There is also no need to be shy. Go ahead and say hi, we'll all be living together from now on." in an effort to chase off the dreary atmosphere that the boy produced.

"Thank you for allowing me to stay here." The boy replied in a monotone voice, "Please take care of me."

"Alright! Now that we all know each other, Shizu-chan why don't you take Souji to the room he will be staying in and help him get settled in while I go check on dinner." And with that, Father left me with the bitter boy.

"Please follow me to your room."

"..."

I lead him to his room in total silence. What do you say to a boy that was not yet ten years of age and had already been given away by his family? Do I try to comfort him and say I understand what he was going through because I had been abandoned by my biological family? No, my situation was completely different from his. There was nothing I could say to him to make this situation any better. While I had technically been abandoned, I could not say that I understood what he was going through. I still couldn't, even after all these years, connect myself with that baby that was abandoned in that boat. I never felt like I was the one that woman abandoned. Yes, she abandoned an infant, but that infant wasn't me.

"You don't have to stay here to help me get settled in like Kondou-san said to." The boy's voice suddenly cut through the thick silence that settled between us. "I know which room is mine. I don't need your help."

"I know." I said without truly voicing my thoughts. He may have not wanted my help, but he certainly needed some help.

"Then why are you still here? I don't need your pity either."

"I'm not pitying you. Pitying others is a waste of time and energy. The world doesn't suddenly stop moving when someone experiences a horrible situation. So if the world never stops moving then why should I? Isn't it best just to roll with the situation?"

"Then why are you still here if you're not here to pity me?" the boy asked as he stopped walking to look at me seriously.

"Because Chichi-ue wanted me to stay with you so you don't have to be alone and because I wanted to. Just because I don't pity you doesn't mean I won't offer support when it's most needed." I explained. "Pity was a waste of time, but not sympathy."

"..." he stared at me silently like he heard me say something stupid.

I resumed leading him the rest of the way to his room in total silence and helped him get settled until we were both called for dinner. He didn't try to speak with me any further and neither did I try to speak with him. I would give him some space first before I tried to speak with him.

* * *

[1] CDC Measles Signs and Symptoms

[2] CDC Measles Signs and Symptoms

[3] Mayo Clinic Measles Treatment

[4] Popular cat name in Japan meaning "lucky"

[5] Term to address younger brother.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"They're certainly entitled to think that, and they're entitled to full respect for their opinions... but before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience." ― Harper Lee, _To Kill a Mockingbird_

Unlike my life at Shieikan Hall, Souji's life at Shieikan was a difficult one. No, it wasn't just difficult. It was downright horrible. Even though he lived at the dojo as a live-in-student, he was treated more like a servant. He did get favored over the other students by Shuusai-sensei, but was always stuck spending most of his time doing all the chores. Now that there was somebody who official job was to do all the chores, I technically didn't have to continue doing my daily self-assigned chores. However, I thought it was rather unfair to drop all the work on our newcomer, so I continued my self-assigned chores and worked alongside Souji daily to complete the chores. While I did have good intentions and I was friendly towards him, Souji was less than pleased by my constant presence near him. He didn't voice it vocally, but whenever I started working "too close" to him then he would scoot as far away from me as possible and continue working.

Other than being treated like a servant, Souji was bullied daily by the other older students who attended the dojo and when I say bullied, I don't mean he was just teased verbally. Souji would be extremely lucky if there was a day he didn't get physically beaten by the older students. His situation was very different from mine. While the older students barely acknowledged that I existed, it was like someone painted a bright red target on Souji. He never smiled and was always downtrodden, which was understandable. After his sister left him, he was constantly mistreated by the other students and looked down on by the many adults that attended the dojo. How could he not be morose with his conditions? But, while the older students bullied and the other adults constantly voiced their pity for him, not everyone treated him terribly. Chichi-ue was constantly trying to cheer him up, although there wasn't much success in that.

Me, on the other hand, Souji made it very clear that he didn't want me hovering around him. In his mind, he probably came to his own conclusion that I would come to pity him too if I stayed around him long enough. Young kids did tend to copy others. I tried to give him some space, but in the end that didn't work to well. I would still go looking for him every chance I got, but then he would always try to chase me off whenever I came looking for him. I always found myself worrying too much about him to keep away. What the other students always did to him was beyond disgusting and I always wanted to make sure he was alright. How was it that some people can just be so terribly mean? I didn't understand how they could just bully Souji without feeling any guilt. Just what was it in human nature that allowed some people to behave like this?

However, despite how initially disgusted I was with the older students' behavior, I didn't interfere with what was going on between him and the older students. He didn't want me to and I respected his choice. But, this was starting to get too hard to watch. If I had to watch Souji get attacked by the older students one more time then I was seriously going to step in.

I was currently quietly shuffling through the dojo and peering into each empty room to look for Souji while carrying a rather large bundle of dango[1] that a friend of Chichi-ue, named Inoue-san, gave to me. I had witnessed the older students beating Souji, to the point where he threw up everything in his stomach, a bit earlier. He had to be hungry now. Peering into a few more empty rooms, I finally found Souji in the last room of the hallway licking his wounds from the previous encounter with the students. As soon as he saw me entering the room he glared at me in an attempt to scare me away, but I had long since grown immune to his constant glares.

"You missed a spot." I said as I pointed to a small smear of blood on his chin before I sat down next to him.

Souji quickly scooted as far as he could from me before wiped the blood away with the sleeve of his kimono and continued glaring at me. "What do you want?" he asked with great hostility and mistrust.

I said nothing and held out the bundle of dango in front of me to offer some to him. He continued glaring at me, as if he believed that he could cause me to vaporize.

"I don't want any." he spat at me before his stomach growled. He blushed a bit after his stomach complained but didn't let his glare let up.

Okay, I understood why he was behaving like this, but it was starting to get on my nerves. I stood up from where I was sitting, stomped over to where Souji was, untied the bundle of dango, and forced a stick of dango into his mouth before I sat down next to him again. There was no way he could scoot any further away from me anymore. Earlier when he was scooting away from me, he had moved himself into a corner and I was now trapping him in.

"Sit there and eat that." I demanded before I took out my own stick of dango and started snacking on it. "And don't you dare spit that out or say you aren't hungry. I know you have nothing in your stomach right now. I saw you throw up."

Souji stared at me, stunned by my sudden forceful action, before he slowly took the stick of dango out of his mouth. He examined the sweet treat for a few seconds before he hesitantly took a bite. After that, the rest of the dango on his stick disappeared down his throat in a matter of seconds. He must have been starving.

As soon as he finished his stick of dango, I shoved the rest of the large bundle of dango into his face. "You can have the rest. I'm full." I stated.

He snatched the bundle from my hands without any hesitation and began inhaling the sweets at a phenomenal rate. While he was distracted by the food, I took the time to clean up his cuts and dress his injuries and when I was done, I just sat next to him and watched him devour the rest of the food.

When he was done eating the several servings of dango, Souji peered at me through the corner of his eye. He seemed like he wanted to ask me something but was reluctant to, so I took the matter out of his hands and spoke first.

"Yes?"

"Why?" he asked as he turned to face me for the first time. "Why are you always trying to help me?"

"Is there a reason that I shouldn't be trying to help you?" I countered back.

"It would be easier for you to ignore me or treat me like everyone else does." Souji said while his hands tightened into small fists on his lap. "So why would you go out of your way to help me, especially when I don't want it?"

I offered him a small smile before I reached out and gently took his hands into mine in a maternal like gesture. "I refuse to live in the kind of world where people don't look out for each other. Not just the people that I am close to, but anybody who needs a helping hand. I can't change the way anybody else thinks, or what they choose to do, but I can do my bit."

He growled, "I don't need your help." at my response while wearing an expression that looked like one that people made after smelling something disgusting before snatching his hand back. He was probably thinking that what I said was stupid.

"I know you don't want my help." I answered as I began gathering the leftover trash from the bundle of food I brought in. When I gathered all the trash into one pile, I picked it up and got ready to leave. "I'm just choosing to ignore that fact."

"Are you sure you want to?" Souji warned right as I was about to step outside the room. "This type of attitude will piss some people off. Some will attack you without caring that you're a little girl. You won't be able to fight back. You're too small compared to everyone else."

A ghost of a smile flickered across my face at his warning. I stopped walking and turned my head back towards him slightly. "Let them try. There's always a way to fight back."

I left the room, leaving him completely stunned and speechless at my answer. I didn't act like a little seven year old girl would and I was sure he noticed that now. If anything, I was a mystery that no one truly understood.

* * *

"Neh, Shizu-chan?" Chichi-ue asked one night as he was putting me to bed. He possessed a trouble expression mixed with one of extreme concern "Did you know that the other students were beating Souji?"

It looks like Chichi-ue just found out about the bullying. He wasn't the most perceptive person in the world, but he wasn't bad at noticing things either. Chichi-ue was just usually a bit slow on realizing things sometimes. Either that, or he realized things, but didn't get the whole picture.

I nodded slowly as I allowed Chichi-ue to tuck me in. Chichi-ue frowned at me as he pulled the blanket up to my chin. I could already tell that he was disappointed in me for not telling him about what was going on. While I still really didn't consider Chichi-ue as my father, I flinched at his disappointment. I really despised it when I disappointed someone. It always made me feel like garbage.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Chichi-ue questioned me, his tone laced with his disappointment. "Don't tell me that you would allow bullying? I thought I raised you better than that."

I pulled the blanket over my head in shame even though I didn't believe that I did anything wrong. It felt really difficult to face Chichi-ue now and I felt like if I looked at him in the face then I wouldn't be able to speak, so I used the blanket as a wall so that my voice wouldn't lock up.

"He didn't want me to help him or tell any of the adults that he was being bullied." I explained with my meek, muffled voice behind the blanket. "It's not like I didn't want to put a stop to the bullying. I just wanted to respect his choice."

There was no response from Chichi-ue for a short few seconds, then he let out a sad sounding breath before he pulled the covers I had pulled over my head back down so he could see my face. "There's no need to hide yourself from me, I'm not mad at you." he said as he ran his hands through my short shoulder length hair. "I'm just frustrated at the situation. I warned the students not to bully Souji again."

"Are you sure that's going to work?" I asked Chichi-ue as I looked up at him with big eyes. "Usually when you tell teenagers not to do something they'll take it as the message, 'Go do it.' Plus they might beat Souji some more because for revenge because they'll believe that he tattled on them."

"No, I'm sure they'll listen." Chichi-ue voiced optimistically. "I'm sure they'll listen to me because I properly sat them down and spoke to them about it."

Chichi-ue was overly optimistic. That course of action usually doesn't work well on teenagers. I looked at Chichi-ue doubtfully to let him know that I didn't believe that his method would work. He merely chuckled at my unbelieving look and tapped me lightly on the nose before he pressed a light kiss onto my forehead.

"Don't worry so much. I'm sure my method will work." he said as he tried to ease my doubts. "Now it's time to go to sleep. Growing children need plenty of rest to grow into healthy, strong adults."

And with that, Chichi-ue blew out the lantern and left the room. The Hour of the Dog[2] my bedtime, not Chichi-ue's.

The following night when Chichi-ue was putting me to bed again for the night, he looked even more troubled than the night before. While Chichi-ue was usually fairly talkative when he was putting me to bed for the night, tonight he was dead silent.

"Chichi-ue?" I spoke to capture his attention.

"Hmm?"

"Why are you so quiet tonight? You usually talk a lot before you put me to bed. Did something happen?"

Chichi-ue let out a supremely stressed sounding sigh as his hands paused while he was pulling up the blanket. When he didn't move, I sat back up at looked at him questioningly.

"While the sun was setting earlier today, I saw Souji standing right outside the front gates of the dojo. He was staring off in the direction of his home." Chichi-ue explained before he told me what happened.

_I saw him standing outside the dojo where he bid farewell to his onee-san. He was looking at the direction of his home again. Although he tried to act mature, he is still a child after all. He must have doubtlessly missed his onee-san._

_Seeing his small lonely silhouette, I called, "…Souji." But he didn't look back. I didn't see anything wrong with being attached to one's family. I placed my hand on his small shoulder as a gesture to let him know that he wasn't alone. "What are you doing here? Are you feeling lonely because you miss your onee-san?"_

_Souji didn't reply to my inquiry. All he continued to do was gaze at the sky with indifferent eyes, so I continued speaking._

_"Perhaps Mitsu-san can't come by since she's busy with her daily life. If you write her a letter and tell her how much you miss her then she'd surely show up during the Bon Festival and the New Year. Better keep practicing your kenjutsu so you don't make her worry…"_

_Souji continued gazing at the sky with lifeless eyes. Then he softly said, "Ane-ue abandoned me."_

_His voice was pessimistic and hopeless. It was painful to hear such a small child speak this way, so I pressed my hand on his shoulder a bit more firmly and said, "Souji, Mitsu-san didn't abandon you. How could anyone abandon her lovely otouto-san? She has her own life to live and she can't leave you in the old house by yourself. It must have been a difficult decision for her to leave you here."_

_Souji didn't respond to any of my words. It was like I couldn't reach him no matter what, but still, I continued._

_"Although it's lonely to live so far away from your onee-san, everything in life must happen for a reason. For you to be left in our care, there must be meaning in this as well. So don't curse your fate. Instead, think about what you can do with what your fate offers you. Isn't that what being a human is all about?"_

_Souji listened to me in silence. After some time passed, he finally looked up and whispered, "Kondou-san, you warned the older pupils not to beat me, right?"_

_"Huh? Yes I did." I replied._

_"Would you do me a favor by not doing that again?" Souji said with a colder than normal voice. I looked at Souji, his voice earlier was enough to make a chill run down my spine._

_"Don't do that? What do you mean?" I asked in confusion._

_In response to my question, Souji pulled down his collar in silence. There were countless bruises and scratches on his chest. The amount of injures he had on his body had increased by a plainly obvious amount._

_"The day after Kondou-san warned them, I was called to the dojo and beaten with wooden swords. 'How dare you tell on us!' they said. Although I told them I didn't, no one listened. Because of Kondou-san's needless actions, I was beaten more severely than before." Souji said after he had shown me his injures._

_I was speechless as cold sweat ran down my spine. I caused this? With lifeless eyes, Souji move his gaze so he could stare at my face, and without blinking, he continued._

_"I don't recall asking for your help. It's annoying. Please leave me alone."_

_Souji then turned his back on me and walked back into the dojo._

Silence filled the bedroom after Chichi-ue finished telling me what had happened earlier that evening. He seemed to be at a complete loss at what to do.

"Well, at least his onee-san didn't leave him to die like the person who gave birth to this body." I said nonchalantly as I tried to break the uncomfortable silence. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. I really should have had more sense than to say that. Chichi-ue didn't even have the talk with me to tell me that I was adopted yet.

"Shizuka! Don't say that!" Chichi-ue immediately scolded me. He had completely missed my "this body" slip up. "I'm sure that your okaa-san didn't leave you to die!"

"Nope, I'm pretty sure that woman did." I said before I took the edge of the blanket out of Chichi-ue's hand and pulled it up to my chin as I laid back down. "Let me try talking to Souji. He might connect better with someone closer to his age."

Chichi-ue let out another stressed sigh. He had two broken children living with him under the same roof and was running out of ideas of what to do. Chichi-ue stared at me silently for a few minute before he decide to blow out the lantern. However, after he blew out the lanterns, he didn't leave the room like he usually did.

"Shizu-chan, scoot over so I can get in."

"Isn't it a bit too early for you to be going to bed? Besides, don't you have your own futon over there?" I asked in confusion as I pointed to his empty futon next to mine.

"I just want to sleep with my daughter tonight." Chichi-ue said with an unidentifiable emotion as he pulled me into a warm embrace under the blankets. What I said early about being left to die must have really bothered him.

* * *

A few days later, I sweeping the floor of the main hall. Someone or some people tracked in some dirt on the floor I just polished and I was none too pleased about that. I was really anal about having shinny floors. As soon as I was done with the floors, I was then going to have to snip off a large splinter that had formed on the broom handle. I didn't want to accidently stab myself with it in the future. Souji, on the other hand, was sitting towards the back of the room and was eating a late lunch. Ever since that talk I had with Chichi-ue, I had been spending more time sticking close by to Souji in hopes of preventing another beating session. So far, I had been successful. Even though Souji had made it clear that he didn't like it when I was around, when he couldn't chase me off, he carefully began to avoid contact with the older students more so I wouldn't get caught up in the crossfire. He didn't like my constant presence, but he still looked out for me like I was his baby chick.

As I was finishing up my sweeping, a large, rambunctious group of three older students walked into the room while talking about the latest gossip. As they entered the main hall, they tracked in dust and dirt from outside. So this was where all the dirt was coming in. You'd think they would have more respect and at least try to be clean when they were on someone else's property, but apparently not. When the students spotted Souji eating his late lunch neared the back of the room, they grinned maliciously before they approached him.

"Oops. I slipped." the tallest student with black hair tied up in a ponytail said mockingly as he "accidently" kick over Souji's tray of food on to my clean, shiny floor I had just finished polishing.

"Ah…" Souji said as he watched his meal spill over the floor. He had only just started eating and only got to eat a few bites before this.

"Excuse me for knocking you meal over." the black haired student said with a cruel smile as he looked down at Souji with enjoyment. "Well, it's actually your bad for being so slow anyways."

"Too bad there's none left, 'cause we ate all the food." the second brown haired student joined in to mock Souji. "We have nothing more to waste on a useless freeloader, why don't you eat the soiled food off the floor? Aren't you hungry?"

Souji said nothing as he reached down to scoop up the spilled food with his hands before he brought it to his mouth to eat. It was obvious Souji didn't want to do what the students said, but hunger was a problem that couldn't be solved without making some sacrifice.

"Hey, hey! Don't really eat the soiled food off the floor!" the third, fat looking, student squealed in faux disgust. "What a gluttonous kid!

"This is what you get because of your impudent attitude." The brown haired student said as he kicked Souji's side. "Be aware of your position."

"But what a poor thing." the tall black haired student added with sarcasm. "His parents died and his onee-san deserted him. Not to mention he has to spend all day doing chores in a dojo like this. How pitiful."

"What an unlikable child. You never know what he's thinking." said the brown haired one.

"Come to the dojo after you're done eating." the third student then said. "We need to straighten you up."

I had enough of this behavior. First of all, Souji wasn't the one that needed to be straightened out. He did nothing wrong. Second, did that brat just purposely kick food all over my nice, clean floor? That bastard. Then that brown haired kid said that "we have nothing more to waste on a useless freeloader". That statement was hypocritical all the way around. Those students were the ones wasting precious food by kicking it to the floor, and that "we" in that statement did not belong there. They weren't the ones providing the food. It was Chichi-ue and Shuusai-sensei preparing and providing the food. And "useless freeloader"? They were the ones tracking in dirt everywhere and creating the mess that Souji had to clean up. Souji was in no way a useless freeloader. I placed the broom I was using against the wall and stepped forward. I was going to do something about their immature behavior.

"Hey you!" I suddenly barked loudly. "The little cowardly boys with the pack mentality!"

"What?!" the tall black haired one, who was probably the leader, exclaimed in shock as he swung around to look for the source of the voice. They never noticed that I was in the room.

"What? Not only are you deaf, but you're blind and dumb too?" I mocked them to draw their attention off of Souji.

After looking around the room confused for a few seconds, one of the older students, the fat one, noticed me and pointed to me.

"There's a little girl here. Why is there a little girl here?" the fat one asked stupidly as he pointed at me. Clearly he wasn't the brightest one in the bunch.

"Oh! That must be that young instructor's daughter. You know, the one that people say that doesn't exist." said the brown haired one said as a lightbulb went off in his head.

The leader smacked his forehead at his companions' comments. "Of course she exists, you idiots! She's standing in front of us right now." He then turned to me and said in a dumbed down voice one would use to speak with little kids, "Go run along and play outside. Us big boys have to teach that naughty boy a lesson."

"I'm sorry, I didn't get that. I don't speak idiot." I replied bluntly. The leader seemed to be taken back by my attitude. "You guys are just like weak little dogs that are terrified of everything that moves and only have the courage to attack your own shadows when you're in a pack. That's really pathetic."

"What did you say you stupid brat!" the leader finally snarled back after the initial shock faded. He was furious at my insult.

"Oh, so you really are deaf. At first I thought your hearing just sucked, but it turns out that it's actually nonexistent." I said dryly as I watched the leader begin to lose his temper. He seemed like the type of person that was easily angered and easily angered people usually made stupid mistakes. They were easy to manipulate.

"You're going to pay for that!" the leader snapped after that last insult and began to stalk towards me with furious intent.

"H-Hey! W-Wait!" the fat one said to the leader. "Isn't she that instructor's daughter? She'll tell on us if we do anything to her and we'll get into big trouble."

"Well that's why we need to shut her up so that she won't tell on us." the leader said as he continued to advance on me. I moved back slowly, making sure to position the spilt food was between us.

"Leave her alone!" Souji cried in panic as he saw the older student advance on me with the intent to do harm. I was just a little girl in his eyes. There was no way I could survive a beating, or so Souji believed and he was determined that I got out of this encounter unharmed. "I'm the one that you want, so leave her alone!"

"Shut up, you useless freeloader!" the brown haired student growled as he kick Souji in the side again.

"Aww, what's the matter?" I goaded the leader as soon as the spilt food was between me and the tall leader. "Too afraid to come and hit me? I thought you were going to teach me a lesson? Coward."

That was all I needed to the tall leader to charge at me. He stupidly ran forward with the intent of shutting me up but as soon as he charged forwards, he slipped on the spilt food and started falling forward. At this moment, I pulled my right arm back before I aimed at his face with my palm. A broken nose would teach him a lesson. With the momentum from his fall, I didn't have to do much to break his nose[3].

When the bone of his nose collapsed under my hand, I stepped to the side to allow the black haired student to continue to fall until he hit the wooden floor. He groaned in pain as he held his noise with his hands while curling up in fetal position on the floor. The two other students watched in shock, not expecting anything like this to have happened. As soon as they shook off their shock, they ran to their leader to inspect the damage.

"Dude, are you okay?" the brown haired one asked the leader while reaching out to check the damage.

"Ahhh! Don't touch it!" the leader cried as he continued to roll on the floor in pain.

At this time I went back to retrieve my broom from against the wall. Then as loudly as I could manage, I cried, "You ruined my clean floor! You jerks!" while lightly whacking the remaining two unharmed students. With a sensitive ear tuned to his daughter, it took less than half a second for Chichi-ue showed up. Chichi-ue was completely stunned with what he saw as soon as he entered the room and didn't seem to know what to say.

When Chichi-ue finally regained his senses he quickly walked up to me to grab the broom so I couldn't whack the two students any longer and gently asked, "What happened here, Shizu-chan?"

This was when I broke out into fake tears. "T-They were being stupid and not watching where they were going, so they kicked over Souji's food." I said with a believable sob before pointing to Mr. Broken Nose, "Then he slipped on the spilt food and landed on his face. Now Souji has no lunch and my clean floor is r-ruined."

Chichi-ue exhaled slowly after my explanation and released his hold on my broom. "First, you don't hit people like that, even if you're upset, Shizu-chan." Chichi-ue lightly reprimanded me. "Since these three were the cause of this mess, I'll have those two clean up the mess while I check on the broken nose. Shizu-chan, go take Souji to the kitchen so he can get some more food. There are some extra rice balls sitting on the counter."

I nodded okay at Chichi-ue as he sat the older student with the broken nose up so the older student's nose could be evaluated. I then ran to where Souji was and grabbed his hand so I could pull him with me. He seemed too surprise at everything that had happened to really even react. As I began pulling Souji towards the door, I stopped next to the two unharmed students that were tasked with cleaning up the mess and handed the brown haired student the broom. I made sure that when the brown haired one took the broom from my hands that he would stab himself with the large splinter on the handle. I was going to remove that splinter from the broom handle but I might not remove it after all. The splinter was surprisingly useful.

Just as the student flinched at splinter induced wound, I leaned in a bit closer and whispered a warning to the two students in a low and chilling voice, "Your type pisses me off so I would watch myself if I were you. If you continue to piss me off then I will make you and your friends' lives a living hell. By the time I'm done, you'll swear that the sky is green. Do NOT cross me again."

Those two shivered at the intensity of my threat and fearfully watched me pull Souji out of the room with me.

"I thought I told you that I didn't need your help." Souji groaned in pain as soon as we were far enough away from the room for anyone to over hear us. I was going to have to take a look at his sides a bit later.

"And I thought I told you that I was going to ignore your 'I don't need your help' statement." I retorted.

"Just what type of girl are you? Ignoring an injured persons wishes…" Souji said bitterly.

"Whether you like it or not, since you have been here, we have worked on almost every chore and task together. We have taken most of our meals together and we live in the same building. You're my partner in this dojo and my friend outside of the dojo. I will have to be dead first before I stop helping my partner and friend." I answered firmly before I stopped dragging him behind me and turned to face him.

"I... Such words from tiny girl… Thank you..." he muttered under his breath as he looked away from me.

"There is no need to say 'thank you' to me. I care what happens to you and I am only expressing it."

Souji quietly nodded at my response before he gained a mischievous expression on his face for the first time since he arrived at the dojo. He took his hand out of mine and said, "I'm going to ignore what you said earlier. Thank you." Souji then turned and began walking towards the kitchen by himself.

"Hey! You aren't allowed to use my own words against me." I pouted. I quickly dashed after him so I could catch up to him.

Since that incident, Souji stopped trying to run me off whenever I approached him. He also started coming to me every time after the older students beat him. He didn't need to speak to me or tell what happened and I didn't need to ask. He would just sit in front of me quietly as he allowed me to tend to his wounds in silence. I didn't step into his fight with the older students again. Souji had confronted me and told me that he didn't want to have collateral damage and said that would eventually get hurt if I pulled the same stunt I did with those three students from before. I respected Souji's choice and never interfered again. I believed that Souji would beat the bullies one day.

Several weeks after the broken nose incident, Shuusai-sensei decided to hold practice in the form of a tournament match with Souji facing an older student. The student that Souji was facing in this practice match was the same student that had his nose broken by me in that incident. Souji had a displeased but determined look on his face when he was told about this practice match. He was probably thinking that this was just chance for crooked-nosed student beat him more with a bokken[4], but only this time there was a chance to fight back. And yes, I did say crooked-nosed student. After I broke his nose, it never healed straight and now he had a constant twang in voice whenever he spoke, but that's not the main point.

I sat beside Chichi-ue during this match. Chichi-ue wanted Souji to be able to see me during the match because of the quiet mutual trust that had formed between up in the past couple of weeks. He wanted Souji to see that I would be his support during his match.

The match began and it was immediately very clear that Souji was at a disadvantage. The difference in physique was huge. Souji was much smaller than the older student. Souji lunged first, but his larger opponent easily blocked the attack and pushed Souji off before he started his merciless assault. Souji blocked the first few attacks with great difficulty and stumbled backward with the last block. It was obvious that each attack was heavy and that since he was smaller than his opponent, Souji could easily be overpowered. Quickly pulling himself together, Souji launched his next attack, but his opponent was ready for him. The older student tapped on Souji's wooden sword to make his attack go wide. Using that missed attack, the larger opponent got under Souji's guard and landed a strike onto Souji's forehead, resulting Souji tumbling back a few feet with a bleeding injury. The injury on his forehead was superficial, but it bleed profusely and the blood was more than likely going to block his sight.

"Call off the match! Someone go get some ointment that stops bleeding!" Chichi-ue yelled frantically as moved to stand up. The injury on Souji's forehead looked extremely serious to him. I quickly grabbed Chichi-ue's hand to stop him from interfering with the match. There was no way Souji would just allow the match to end like this. He was determined to get in at least one hit.

"I'm fine! I can still fight!" Souji yelled back to Chichi-ue.

"But you're..."

"It's just a small cut. Nothing serious." Souji interrupted Chichi-ue as he wiped the blood off his forehead with the back of his hand as he pleaded, "So please! Let me finish!"

As Chichi-ue was about to reject that notion, I tugged on his hand to gain his attention, "Chichi-ue, this match is important to Souji, so please let him finish. While the cut is bleeding a lot, the cut is superficial. It's nothing serious."

Chichi-ue stared at me for a few seconds, weighing his decisions in his mind before returning his gaze to Souji and replying, "I see. But if there is further danger, I'll call off the match."

"Thank you very much." Souji said before glancing at me and giving me a small nod of gratitude.

The match restarted with a beat from a nearby drum. Souji charged at his opponent first again, but the results were different. Thinking that Souji would react the same as before, the larger opponent used the same attack but Souji had already read that attack and dodged it instead of trying to parry it this time. As soon as Souji dodged his opponent's attack, he aimed his own attack under the older student's guard. The attack failed to connect, but it was enough to throw the older student off balance. Souji then took this chance to knock his opponent's wooden sword out of his opponent's grasp. When his opponent made a movement to pick up his bokken again, Souji aimed at the older student's solar plexus[5]. The older student then collapsed on to the floor with a pained groan, but Souji didn't stop. Caught up in the moment, he continued to hit the older student with his bokken until Chichi-ue stepped in

"Stop it." Chichi-ue said as he grabbed Souji's bokken. "You've already won. So please, stop it."

"I... I won?" asked in an unbelieving surprise. He was still in shock over his win.

Chichi-ue let go of Souji's bokken when Souji regained his senses and quickly knelt down to Souji's height to hug him tightly with a smile. "You've done well. You're really... really great." Chichi-ue said. His voice was shaky and his eyes held unshed tears as he spoke to Souji.

"Kondou-san, your kimono will get blood-stained." said Souji, still unable to let go of his surprise.

"It doesn't matter. With the small body of yours, you've worked so hard."

There was a small moment of silence before Souji responded, "Kondou-san had never called me a 'poor thing'."

"Eh?" Chichi-ue said, not quite understanding.

"Even if my parents died, and even if I can't see Ane-ue again, there must be a meaning to it. That's what Kondou-san said. I think now I get it." Souji explained, "I'm here to become stronger, for Kondou-san's sake."

While this moment was sweet and all, I approached the hugging people and interrupted with the voice of reason. "Chichi-ue, Souji's cut is still bleeding. Let me take him to another room to treat his injury."

"Ah!" Chichi-ue yelped, "I forgot about that! We need to hurry and treat his injury! Shizu-chan you're in charge of taking care of his injury while I check on the other student!" And with that, Chichi-ue leaped into action.

I grabbed Souji's hand and led him to the room right next to the dojo's main practice hall as soon as Chichi-ue disappeared into the crowd that was forming around the defeated student. I quickly sat Souji on floor as soon as we entered the other room before I went to go get my first aid kit. When I returned, I knelt in front of him and began to disinfect the cut.

"You were really amazing." I complemented him softly as I broke the silence, "Not many people can overpower a larger opponent."

"I only beat him because you and Kondou-san gave me the chance to do so… Thank you." Souji replied as he allowed me to dress the cut. "Besides, weren't you the one that broke his nose in the first place? You're smaller than anyone here and you beat him too."

I snorted at his show of gratitude. "I told you once before that you don't have to say 'thank you' to me."

"And I already told you that I'm ignoring what you said."

"You can't use my own words against me. That's really unfair." I said with a small pouty frown.

"Nobody said I couldn't. Besides I already said it and a person can't take back their words." Souji replied as he poked my puffy cheeks playfully.

We continued in playful banter as I fixed his wound before I noticed Souji had begun smiling sometime during our conversation. It wasn't a fake smile people would give to others to prevent them worrying, but a true genuine smile of happiness.

"You're finally smiling." I said quietly with a small smile of my own in response to the big bright smile on his face.

"Oh! I am!" he said in sudden realization. He had not realized he had begun to smile at me.

I giggled at his reaction before saying, "You should smile more often. I like it when you're happy."

At my words, Souji faintly turned red with a faint blush. "Well if Shizuka says so then I'll smile more for Shizuka." he said while looking slightly embarrassed.

I giggled at his response. Souji was really adorable when he was like this.

* * *

[1] A Japanese dumpling and sweet made from mochiko and is related to mochi. Often served with green tea, it is eaten year-round, but the different varieties are traditionally eaten in given seasons. Three to four dangoare often served on a skewer.

[2] A two hour period that is roughly around starts around 7:00 p.m. and ends at 9:00 p.m.

[3] It usually only takes roughly about nine pounds of force to break someone's nose, given that the hit is accurate.

[4] A Japanese wooden sword used for training. It is usually the size and shape of a katana, but is sometimes shaped like other swords, such as the wakizashi and tantō. Bokken should not be confused with shinai, practice swords made of flexible bamboo.

[5] A complex network of nerves located in the abdomen, where the celiac trunk, superior mesenteric artery, and renal arteries branch from the abdominal aorta are located. It is behind the stomach and the omental bursa, and in front of the crura of the diaphragm, on the level of the first lumbar vertebra.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely." ― C.G. Jung

_Why couldn't I move? Why…why is it so hard to breathe? Oh…there's so much blood everywhere…I don't understand where all this blood is coming from… An open wound…there must be an open wound somewhere, but where's the injured person? I…I don't seen an injured person… Oh…this is my blood. I'm the injured person. What…what happened?_

_"She's awake!"_

_It's a voice. Someone's speaking to me, but who is it? Do I know this person? No…I don't recognize the voice. I can't see. Everything looks too dim and foggy…_

_"Miss?! Miss?! Can you hear me?!"_

_"What happened?" I asked very clearly in my mind. My mouth was supposed to move to voice those thoughts, but nothing. Blood gurgled in my throat and leaked from the sides of my mouth when I tried to communicate with the mystery person… So that's why…why I was having such difficulty breathing. There's blood obstructing my airway… I must have sustained an upper injury to my airway… I need…I need a tracheostomy__[1]__…_

_"No, don't speak. You'll be fine." the mystery person lied through his teeth. "You were just in a car accident. We're getting you out of here and to a hospital."_

_"Where are the damn hydraulic cutters__[2]__?! We need them now!" someone cried in the background._

_"Shit! She's been skewered by some of the scrap metal! She's pinned in!"_

_"She's starting to hemorrhage!"_

_"How?! We've haven't even touched that large piece of metal in her abdomen yet!"_

_"It must have shifted when we pulled that front car off!"_

_Oh…I'm dying… This is what death is… No…I don't want to die yet… I was supposed to help my brother start planning his wedding this…this weekend. I was supposed to watch him get married. I still have so much I haven't done yet… Not yet…not yet…_

_"We need to get her out now! Just cut out the seat she's pinned to first and we'll worry about removing it after we get her to the hospital!"_

_"Okay! We've cut the seat from the car! On the count of three, we lift her out of the car together and put her on the ambulance!"_

_"One…two…three!"_

_There was a sudden jerk, but ultimately nothing happened._

_"What happened?! She isn't budging and we've completely cut the seat out of the car!"_

_"Her legs are stuck too! We can't get her out like this!"_

_"She's going into shock!"_

_"Miss?! Miss?! Stay with us! Can you hear me?! Miss?! Miss—"_

_It was silent. It was cold. It was dark. I was completely alone as the darkness swallowed me up. I don't want to be alone… I don't want…to be alone… No…don't…don't let it take me… I was alone._

My eyes snapped open as I shot up from my futon. I was short of breath and covered in cold sweat from head to toe. I couldn't stop my merciless shaking. That nightmare— No…that memory. Since being placed into this current body, I had often wondered about my own death in the life I left behind, but I have never once even dreamed about it before. During that memory I could feel that cold piece of metal as it pierced me and pinned me to the driver's seat. I could recall the feeling of bleeding out as my rescuers tried and failed to pull me out of that scrap pile. I remembered my unbreakable desire to survive and the crushing cold truth of knowing that I was going to die. That…that memory… I didn't want to be able to recall the horrifying sensations of death. I didn't want to be alone right now, especially now.

I turned my head to glimpse at Chichi-ue's futon that was to the left of mine. Chichi-ue was still sleeping soundly and was out like a light. I wanted comfort. I wanted comfort and I had every right to seek it. My body was that of an eight year old child. I was allowed to seek comfort by sneaking into Chichi-ue's futon, but one look at Chichi-ue and I felt like I couldn't, not after the way I purposely tried to distance myself from him. In addition to feeling like I wasn't allowed to seek comfort from Chichi-ue, I felt like I shouldn't disturb him from his sleep. He had a degeiko[3] tomorrow and he should be well rested for it. Instead of laying back onto my futon and trying to forget that memory by go back to sleep, I stood up and snuck out of the bedroom. Before I knew what I was doing I was silently floating down the hallway. Rational thought was a threshold that was too high for me right now. All I knew was that I needed someone to provide me with some comfort.

When my feet finally came to a stop, I was standing outside of Souji's room. I didn't know why I came to Souji's room. We were friendly with each other and on good terms, but while Souji had grown fond of me the way he had grown fond of Chichi-ue, I still remained somewhat distant with him like the way I was with Chichi-ue. I didn't really allow myself to grow attached to Souji even though I liked him. I had already grown far too attached to Chichi-ue and I didn't want make the mistake of allowing myself to grow attached to another person. With my body on auto drive, I reached out, slid Souji's door open, and then just stopped and stared at his sleeping form. I couldn't bother him right now. I didn't even feel all that close to him so what right did I have to disturb his sleep? As if he could feel my stare in his sleep, Souji stirred from his deep sleep before he rubbed his eyes and looked directly at me before I could close his door again and return to my futon.

"…Shizuka?" he mumbled tiredly as he sat up on his futon and blinked away the rest of his sleepiness. "What are you doing here? Is something wrong?"

He asked me if there was "something wrong". Since being reborn again in this body, no one ever asked me if something was wrong. When he asked that question it felt like the dam that was holding back the true reality of what really happened to me broke and everything suddenly crashed onto me all at once. Everything was wrong! I was supposed to be dead! My old life I once knew was gone! I had been reborn into a new identity and as much as I wanted to deny my new identity, I couldn't any longer. I was no longer that Chinese woman that lived in the twenty-first century. I was now this young Japanese girl living in the late Tokugawa era. This was my life now. That woman that gave birth to me in this life didn't just abandoned an infant to die, she abandoned me. She wanted me to die because she hated me. I would have died alone again if it weren't for Chichi-ue… No, if it weren't for Otou-san. I couldn't bear the feeling of loneliness, not anymore. There was now an obsessive need to be around someone physically. It didn't really matter who, but I just needed somebody to be near me to chase away the creeping loneliness. At that moment, the feeling of disconnect to my current body faded away and my barriers collapsed as I merged into my new reality.

When my realization came crashing down, tears had started to form in my eyes and before I could stop the tears from overflowing, they started to trickle down my cheeks. The moment Souji saw my first tear roll down my cheek, he started to panic. He quickly stood from his futon in a rushed hurry, grabbed my right hand, and pulled me into his room before he released my hand so he could slide his bedroom door shut behind us.

"W-What's wrong?" he asked in a flurried panic. He had never seen me cry, no one had ever seen me cry before this. "Did s-something happen?"

While he was asking those questions so he could find out what caused my sudden emotional upturn and fix it, instead of making my tears stop, those question made me start bawling my eyes out. I couldn't stop crying. All that was left to do was for me to do was let all my tears out. Souji, on the other hand, started panicking more when I started bawling. He stared at me wide-eyed like a deer in the headlights, completely unsure at what to do in this situation. After a few more seconds of floundering around with uncertainty, he finally took my hand again and led me to his futon. He sat both of us down before he reached forward to wipe some of the tears off of my face.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Souji asked me gently when he finally found his voice again.

I was a total mess and my hiccupping prevented me from verbally answering him yet, so I merely nodded yes as I rubbed my eyes in an attempt to get rid of the tears.

"Talking about it will make you feel better." Souji prodded me gently to encourage me to tell him. "What was it about?"

Oh, I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to tell him so badly that it hurt, but how could I? How could I tell him that I my nightmare was actually the memory of my own death from my past life? How could I tell someone that I could remember everything from my past life? That I didn't belong here? No, I couldn't tell anyone without the fear of be considered insane. But still, I wanted to be comforted and I wanted to tell Souji something, anything to escape the turmoil within. So, I lied about what I dreamt about and told him about something else that was just starting to bother me. I told him about my abandonment.

"M-My nightmare w-wasn't the imagination of m-my mind." I stated as I started to calmed down just enough so that I could speak. Souji perked up when he heard my voice. "It w-was a m-memory of an e-event I'm n-not even s-supposed to be able to r-remember. I dreamt about the n-night t-that the w-wo—the w-woman who g-gave b-birth to m-me left m-me t-to d-d-die…"

After I got my last sentence out, I started sobbing again. It was one thing to know something but it was a whole other thing to say it out loud. This time when I started crying again, instead of being at loss at what to do, this time Souji pulled me into a warm embrace and let me cry into his sleeping robe. It must have been disgusting to have to hold me while I was crying. There were tears and snot mixing together and running down my face onto his sleepwear, but he didn't say anything as he held me close to him in his arms. He continued to gently rub my back until I was finally able to regain control over my crying.

"S-Sorry about y-your c-clothing." I hiccupped just as I wiped away some of my tears.

"You don't need to apologize for that." Souji said as he released me from his comforting embrace. He brushed some stray strains of hair behind my ear before he continued softly, "Kondou-san is your otou-san, right? What do you mean by your okaa-san[4] left you to die?"

Souji, like everyone else, assumed that Otou-san was my actual my biological father even though Otou-san would have had to be twelve years old when I was born for this to be true. The rumor flying around the dojo and the neighborhood was that I was a child produced by Otou-san and his childhood sweetheart by accident and that the reason I was with Otou-san and not my nonexistent "Okaa-san" was because the relationship fell apart and it could not be fixed with marriage. I fell under Otou-san's care when he left "Okaa-san" because she could not care for me. Because Otou-san never told anyone the truth and never said anything to disclaim the rumors, everyone came to accept the rumor as the truth.

"Otou-san isn't m-my actual chichi[5] by b-birth." I told Souji as my hiccupping started to come under control. "H-He found me in an a-abandoned fishing boat that washed downstream and landed on the riverbank in the village he lived at."

After I told him that, I found that I could not look him in the eyes anymore and shifted my gaze to the floor as an unbearable sense of shame filled me. I had nothing to be ashamed about since I did nothing wrong, but the stigma of being an abandoned child was a heavy yolk to bear. However, instead of reacting the way the stigma would have dictated he react, Souji put his hand under my chin and forced me to look him in the eye.

"That woman made the worst possible mistake." he said gently as he moved his hand from under my chin and placed it on my cheek before he continued, "She has no idea what type of treasure she threw away that night."

I couldn't stop the small smile that began forming on my lips after he said those sweet words. Souji really had a way with words sometimes.

"There we go, that's were your smile went." he said gently as I smiled at him. "You know, you're much cuter when you smile than when you're crying."

"You think so?"

"Yeah." he said before he adapted a more serious look. "Look, about you being abandoned at as a baby, I know you and Kondou-san didn't tell anyone because both of you don't want anyone to know. I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you." I whispered gratefully as tried I dried the rest of my face with my sleeves, but Souji pulled my hands away from my face and used his own sleeves to dry my face before he pulled me into a much needed hug. "Souji?" I asked after remaining his hug for a few minutes.

"Hmm?"

I opened my mouth, but hesitated to speak. I wanted to say here with him the rest of the night. I wanted to stay close to someone to keep my new developing monophobia[6] at bay. Yes, Otou-san was in the other room sleeping, but I wanted be close to the person that just helped me soothe some of my fears. I wanted to ask Souji if I could sleep in his room for the rest of the night, but I was afraid of overstepping my boundaries. I finally just completely opened myself to him and I thought I was already asking too much from him.

"What is it? You can ask me." Souji encouraged me as he rubbed my shoulders to try to entice an answer out of me.

"Umm…" I said before I blushed and buried my face into his chest to prevent him from seeing my embarrassment. "Can… Can I sleep here for the rest of the night?" I finally asked with a meek and slightly squeaky voice.

Souji pulled away from the hug and dropped his hand firmly on the top of my head to give me an affectionate pat. "You don't want to go back to your own room to sleep?" he asked as he looked down at me. "You know you can sneak into Kondou-san's futon and sleep with him. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. He is your otou-san."

I shook my head no with the light blush still staining my cheeks. Souji grinned at my expression before he ruffled my hair then lightly flicked my forehead. He then pushed me just enough so that I tipped over on his futon before he reached for the blanket and pulled it over the both of us.

"Make yourself comfortable." Souji said as he allowed me to curl up against his side. I was quickly lulled into a deep sleep by the sound of his breathing and his warmth.

I awoke to the chirping of birds and the sunlight hitting my face as it came through the window. Souji was no longer in the room. Going by how bright it was outside, it was most likely the Hour of the Dragon[7]. That mental breakdown I had the night before had really drained my energy, I haven't felt that tired since my board exams in past life. Feeling extremely nervous about being alone in the room, I rushed to fold up the futon and dashed back to mine and Otou-san's room to quickly get dressed. Everyone had to be awake by now since it was so late. I usually woke up earlier than this. On average, I usually would wake up and begin my day in the Hour of the Tiger[8], so the amount of time I overslept by was about five hours.

As soon as I was done dressing in a simple yukata[9], I quickly scrambled towards the main practice hall of the dojo in search of some people. Since it was the Hour of the Dragon there had to be some people in the main practice hall working of their sword technique. However, when I got to the practice hall, there was unexpectedly fewer people than I thought. In fact, there was only one person present in the room. The only person present, who was sitting on the floor and looking out the window, was a man named Inoue Genzaburo. Inoue-san was a man who always wore his black hair in a topknot and he always came to the dojo daily to practice swordplay. While he was older than Otou-san, he wasn't quite as strong as Otou-san, but in no way was he weak. He was still incredibly skilled with a blade. Inoue-san was also really nice and he quite often reminded me of an uncle. He was always bringing me small treats, like the dango I shared with Souji a while back.

"Good morning, Inoue-san!" I called out to him cheerfully. The events of last night left me feeling like a new person and I was ready to start allowing people closer now.

"Well isn't it little Shizuka-chan. Aren't you cheerful this morning. I think this is the first time you have ever greeted me so loudly cheerfully." Inoue-san greeted me back with a smile.

"It happens." I said cheerfully as I bounced up to him. "Where is everyone today? There's usually a class here during this time."

"Ah, yes." Inoue-san said as he pat me on the head before he explained. "There was supposed to be a class, but one of the instructors came down with a cold last night so the classes today had to be cancelled.

"Oh. Then is Otou-san at his degeiko now?" I asked as I energetically rocked back and forth on the balls of my feet. I didn't see Otou-san around yet today and he was always the first one to greet me in the mornings.

"Oh, no, that got cancelled too."

"Why?" I asked curiously. The people that requested that degeiko seemed to be really excited about it so why cancel it now? Did something happen or did they just decide last second that they didn't want that degeiko?

"The unusual case of the summer flu." Inoue-san explained. "The summer flu seems to be making its way around the outskirts of Edo right now and the people who requested the degeiko seemed to come down with quite serious cases of it."

"Oh." I said as I pondered what Inoue-san said. The flu in the summer was really unusual considering that flu season was generally from fall to the end or winter. "So, where's Otou-san then?"

"He just went to fetch some snacks from the kitchen. Hmm…" he answered before he came slightly closer to me to look for something. "You're more talkative than usual and you're now using 'Otou-san' rather than 'Chichi-ue'. Did something happen recently?"

"Maybe~" I sang playfully as I left Inoue-san to guess. It was no fun just telling someone the answer.

As I was about to ask Inoue-san some more questions just for the sake of having some conversation, a loud, cheerful sounding voice interrupted me.

"Ah! There you are!"

I spun around face the source of the boisterous voice, it was Otou-san. Otou-san was standing in the doorway of the practice hall holding a tray that had three cups of green tea and a plate of manjū buns[10] on it. Souji, who was tagging along slightly behind Otou-san, he peered at me curiously from behind Otou-san before he waved at me. I smiled happily and waved back at Souji happily.

"Are you feeling better now? I couldn't find you this morning. Souji told me you were rather upset because of a nightmare you had last night and slept in his room for the rest of the night." Otou-san asked as he entered the room. He placed the tray on the floor next to Inoue-san before he took his seat next to me. Souji quickly followed Otou-san into the room and sat down right of him.

"Yup! I fine now, Otou-san." I exclaimed happy before I crawled into his lap. "I'm sorry for worrying you."

At my actions, Otou-san seemed to fly over the moon. After all these years of trying to get me to call him "Otou-san" instead of "Chichi-ue", it finally paid off and now I was even being openly affectionate without my usual barriers up.

"Shizu-chan, you're just too cute!" Otou-san said with a victorious laugh as he hugged me tightly while rubbing his cheek against mine. I could feel his whiskers tickling the sides of my face. He must have not shaved today.

"Otou-san! Your whiskers are tickling me!" I laughed as I wiggled in his lap. "You didn't shave today!"

"That's because I was looking for you all morning before Souji told me where you were. How could I waste time shaving when my cute little daughter's missing?" Otou-san said as he cheerfully as he kept rubbing his cheek against mine playfully.

* * *

"Shizuka, close your eyes and tilt your head up a bit for me." Souji said.

"Why?" I asked curiously. He wasn't going to trick me then push me into the river again, was he?

Since it was a nice and sunny day and the kendo classes had been canceled for the day due to the several strange cases of the summer flu going around, Souji had the day free. I went to find him first thing in the morning to drag him off to spend some free time together. He didn't seem to mind at all when I barged into his room this morning to drag him off. In fact, he seem like he was really happy that I came looking for him. Right now we were currently sitting on the flowering riverbank that was rather close to the dojo.

"You'll see in a moment." Souji said before he blew a small puff of air at my face, causing me to close my eyes instinctively. "Now don't open your eyes until I tell you to, okay?"

"Okay." I said obediently.

There was the faint sound of rustling before something light was placed onto my head. What was it? It felt like a light ring of some sort. Then a similar light ring was slid onto my left wrist shortly afterwards.

"Okay, you can open your eyes now." I heard Souji say.

When I opened my eyes I looked at my left wrist to see what Souji had put on it and I was greeted with a pretty flower bracelet. Where did Souji learn how to make this? I lightly touched the ring I felt around my head earlier, it was a crown of flowers.

"It's so pretty!" I said as I admired the pieces that he made for me. "Where did you learn how to make these?" I didn't take him for someone who normally took the time to make jewelry from flowers.

"My other ane, Kin, taught me before she got married." Souji explained before he suddenly had a far off look on his face. He didn't like talking about his old home and he never talked about his oldest sister, Mitsu. He still hadn't forgiven her for abandoning him. Not wanting him to dwell too much on his negative thoughts, I quickly called out to him.

"Can you teach me?" I asked to distract him from his thoughts of home. "Please?"

"Okay." he said as snapped out of his daze and nodded enthusiastically as he quickly put the thoughts of his old home out of his mind. He picked a nearby flower and handed it to me before he quickly found another one. He then moved closer to me so he could instruct me. "Start here at this part of the stem then—"

"Meow~"

I heard a meow interrupt Souji. Distracted from my little lesson, I looked up to find the source of the sound only to find a familiar calico cat waltzing up towards me. "Fuku!" I cried in pleasant surprise. It has been a while since I saw her. I rushed to put the flowers in my hand down before I reached over and pulled her onto my lap. She purred the whole time I was stroking her back. Meanwhile, Souji seemed to glare at Fuku with anger and discontent, but I couldn't make sense of what Souji could be mad at Fuku for. Souji liked cats and he had never met Fuku before, so how could he already dislike her? All I knew was that Souji just seemed to grow more unhappy the more I paid attention to Fuku.

* * *

[1] A tracheostomy is a surgical procedure to create an opening through the neck into the trachea (windpipe). A tube is usually placed through this opening to provide an airway and to remove secretions from the lungs. This tube is called a tracheostomy tube or trach tube.

[2] Tools that are used by emergency rescue personnel to assist vehicle extrication of crash victims, as well as other rescues from small spaces.

[3] A term used in the practice of martial arts when an instructor gives lessons at pupils' homes.

[4] Used to address one's mother.

[5] Used when referring to one's own father.

[6] The extreme fear of being alone. This fear may have many different forms. Shizuka's form of monophobia is the fear of being alone physically.

[7] A two hour period that is roughly starts around 7:00 a.m. and ends about 9:00 a.m.

[8] Roughly starts around 3:00 a.m. and ends around 5:00 a.m.

[9] A yukata (浴衣) is a Japanese garment, a casual summer kimono usually made of cotton or synthetic fabric, and unlined. Yukata are worn by both men and women.

[10] Manjū (饅頭 まんじゅう) is a popular traditional Japanese confection. There are many varieties of manjū, but most have an outside made from flour, rice powder and buckwheat and a filling of anko (red bean paste), made from boiled azuki beans and sugar.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;

It is the green-ey'd monster, which doth mock

The meat it feeds on." ― William Shakespeare, Othello

It was now the winter of 1856 and even though it was only morning, the day was already bone-chillingly freezing. I was already starting to shiver as I stepped outside the dojo. I really had no idea how Souji, who was dressed in his dark blue practice hakama[1] and swinging his wooden sword out in the courtyard, could stand practicing outside in this ridiculous cold. Perhaps it was the amazing amount of focus he had in regard with kenjutsu? He really was a genius when it came to fencing. Just the day before Souji had finally landed his first hit on Otou-san. It was an amazing feat for someone who was only twelve years old to complete. Of course, after that accomplishment, Souji thoroughly enjoyed the generous amount of praise I offered him after Otou-san praised him. After Souji and I had become closer after that night, it became completely obvious to me that Souji loved getting praised by his special people. He glowed in it.

After the night of my mental break the year before, I finally began living my new life in earnest. As a result of that night, I had finally allowed people to start getting close to me again and it had allowed me to grow incredibly close to Otou-san and Souji. There were no people I trusted more, but Souji was increasingly special to me. He was the one that helped through that night, after all. However not all results from that night were positive. Other than me finally accepting my new life, I had also developed a case of monophobia. I was now so terrified of physically being alone that I could no longer function normally without another person nearby. I would sometimes shut down completely or become so nervous that I wouldn't be able to move. I needed to physically be near someone to function like a normal person, even if that person was a complete stranger. I had died feeling alone in my past life and I had almost died alone in this new life and that was now coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.

I shifted the backpack like grocery basket that was on my back before I stepped outside the dojo grounds. It was time to do some grocery shopping. When I finally turned ten years old earlier this year, Otou-san finally started to "teach" me how to cook. Of course, with my knowledge from my past life, I already knew how to cook but I what I knew how to cook wasn't exactly time appropriate Japanese cuisine. So when Otou-san offered to teach me, I happily accepted. However, Otou-san wasn't the best cook in the world. The seasoning would often be a bit too strong and the presentation of the food wasn't necessarily the best, but that didn't really matter to me. By mixing Otou-san's teachings and my past experiences with cooking, I was able to turn out some very simple but nice homemade meals. They weren't overly fancy but they were the classic home cooked meals that all men enjoyed coming home to. After a few weeks of Otou-san's teachings, it became clear that I was the best cook in the household and I was officially put in charge of the cooking for three days of each week. Today I was planning to make Souji's favorite: daikon[2] rice porridge. Just as I stepped outside the dojo's front gates, a voice stopped me.

"Shizuka-chan!" the voice of a young boy called me.

I turned to see a young boy by the name of Tsubaki Isao waving and running towards me. Tsubaki Isao was one year older than me and the son of a man that frequented dojo regularly to practice swordplay. When Isao-kun's father first started to come to the dojo, he brought Isao-kun with him. However, Isao-kun never held any interest in learning how to wield a sword, so instead of watching his father practice, he would always wander the grounds looking for someone to play with. This was why Otou-san decided to introduce the two of us. Even after I opened up, I still didn't really act too much like a child. Otou-san thought it would be good for me to play with someone around my age to fix that problem.

After introductions, Isao-kun and I became fast friends. Well, at least in his case. The reason I did not play with other kids was because I was mentally past that stage and could not play with the other kids on the same mental level. What often felt fun for the other kids now felt boring to me now. Although, Souji was kind of an exception since we didn't really play like the other kids did. Instead of playing, Souji and I would actually just spend most of our time talking with each other. After becoming friendly with Isao-kun, I decided that I should at least try to connect with Isao-kun on a mental level, but I failed in the end. Since I really did like Isao-kun, I did try my best to connect with him and play with him wholeheartedly, but I at the end of the day it had always felt like I was just babysitting him. I did feel guilty because he really did see me as his friend, but just because I felt guilty did not mean I could magically start considering him a close friend. He felt more like a little brother I had to babysit as a chore.

"Good morning Isao-kun." I greeted the young boy with a polite nod as he came to a stop in front of me. "Did you actually eat your breakfast today? I hope you didn't skip the most important meal of the day just because you were too impatient to wait for it to cool down enough to eat."

"Yes I did! You know you don't have to worry about so much." he answered back impatiently with a grin as he vibrated in place. "So where are you going?" he asked while looking as if he was anticipating something very important to happen. Whatever it was he anticipating, it seemed to make him nervous.

"Oh, I'm going grocery shopping." I answered him a kind smile. "I would like to make some daikon rice porridge for lunch today since it is Souji's favorite, but we don't have any daikon radishes."

Isao-kun started to look a bit more nervous after my answer before he turned red and stuttered, "I-I can come with you! Well— uhh— you see— I-I mean the groceries might be too heavy for you and I c-can carry them for you."

Aww, I thought that it was sweet of him to offer, but why was he turning red? He doesn't have a nasty cold, does he? Having a cold in the winter was very unpleasant, but not all that uncommon. It was cold season after all. Quickly reaching out, I placed my hand on his forehead to check his temperature.

"You're turning red Isao-kun. You're not feeling sick are you? You have no fever so far." I said with worry before I withdrew my hand. He seemed fine so why was he so red? I guess he could be embarrassed, but why would he be embarrassed to ask to come grocery shopping with me?

"What? No!" he exclaimed as he waved both his hand in front of himself rather quickly. "I'm fine! Come on, let's go!" He insisted a little bit too excitedly and too loudly before he reached out and tried to take my hand, but another hand grabbed his wrist to prevent him from touching me.

"No, you can't go with her." the owner of the mystery hand cut in sharply. It was Souji and he was looking increasingly annoyed.

Souji, who was practicing in the courtyard when I exited the dojo build, had stopped practicing and was now holding his bokken in his left hand while his right hand had a bruising grip on Isao-kun right hand. He subtly moved closer to me as he glared at Isao-kun with a bone chilling gaze. Souji never did like Isao-kun. He said it was because Isao-kun was too whinny and because Isao-kun always took up so much of my time. Souji never did like to share his special people with other people.

"I wasn't talking to you!" Isao-kun raised his voice to voice his irritation as he snatched his wrist out of Souji's grasp. "Can't you see we're having a private conversation?"

"Is that so?" sneered Souji as he positioned himself so that he was standing in front of me and blocking me from Isao-kun's view. "Weren't you just a tad bit too loud for it to be a private conversation? A conversation isn't private when the whole world can hear it."

"You can't tell me what to do!" Isao-kun argued back without backing down even though he clearly didn't stand a chance against Souji. If I were to compare this situation to another situation then I would say that it looked like a Chihuahua barking loudly at a large, muscular wolf. The Chihuahua in that situation would clearly get eaten after getting maimed first. "I'm going with her! She's really small so she'll need a strong person to carry all the groceries! Butt out!" Isao-kun finished in a high pitched growl.

"Then shouldn't I be the one to go with her?" Souji snarled back as he puffed out his chest to make himself look bigger. "I'm stronger than you. Plus, you don't even know how to swing a sword."

"I don't need to know how to swing a sword! It's not like there are any bad guys at the market!"

"Then you obviously haven't heard about that kidnapper that has been taking little girls at the market." Souji lied with a frustrated growl. He was growing tired of Isao-kun's tireless arguing and wanted to get rid of him as fast as possible.

"I know that's a lie! You won't fool me again!" the other boy snipped back. "Not this time!"

"I'm warning you, back off." Souji said with a final low growl. "I already have to share with that damn cat and I'm not going to share with you too."

Wait…cat? Was Souji talking about Fuku? What does Fuku have to do with this argument? Souji was arguing with Isao-kun because he didn't like to share me with others… Hold on…he said he had to share with the cat... Souji was seeing Fuku as competition for my attention? Fuku wasn't even human for heaven's sake! Was Souji really that enviously protective of his territory? Damn, I'd really hate to see what Souji would do to a person that would get between him and Otou-san.

"What do you mean share?!" Isao-kun continued to bark at the angry wolf. "She doesn't belong to you! You don't get to choose who Shizuka gets to spend her time with."

Deciding now that things would probably get violent if I didn't interfere, I cut into the argument. I quickly hugged Souji from behind to stop him when I saw the hand holding the wooded sword start twitching.

"Huh? Shizuka?" Souji said questioningly in surprise when I hugged him from behind.

"Don't fight anymore. Please?" I pleaded meekly as I buried my face into his back. "Isao-kun didn't know that I promised you that we go to the market together today."

Well, I didn't really promise Souji, but I wanted to stop the fight from progressing any further. Isao-kun would have ended up with broken bones if the argument evolved into a physical fight. Plus, if I had to go to the market with one of the boys then Souji would win, hands down, one-hundred percent of the time. I liked Isao-kun, but I adored Souji.

"Wait… You already promised that you were going to the market with Okita?" Isao-kun asked, sounding brokenhearted at my words. I shyly poked my head out slightly from behind Souji and nodded. I didn't want the two boys to fight anymore, but I didn't want to hurt Isao-kun feelings either by saying that I preferred Souji over him.

Souji, on the other hand, seem extremely pleased that I chose him and smirked dangerously down at Isao-kun. "You heard her. Now go run along."

Isao-kun growled at Souji's haughty attitude, but ultimately backed down. He looked back at me with a hopeful smile before saying, "We'll go together next time, alright?"

I nodded meekly before I waved him good-bye. Isao-kun returned my wave and glared at Souji one last time for good measure before he ran off, most likely to go back home. When Isao-kun was finally fully out of sight and hearing range, Souji turned back to me with a cocky grin.

"So you promised me we'd go to the market together today, did you?" he said while wiggling his eyebrows at me and caused me to giggle at his pleased expression.

"Well, I didn't want you two to fight because Isao-kun would probably end up with broken bones." I said with a small smile. "And honestly, I'd prefer you over Isao-kun any day."

It was almost like Souji wasn't full of himself before I said that. With my new, honest comment about my preferences, Souji immediately became like a glorified peacock that was strutting around to show off its majestic tail feathers to a bunch of interested peahens. His smug pride before from this seemed almost like nothing compared to this new development.

"Well then, let's go." Souji said happily after he was done basking in my words. He took the basket from me and slung one of the straps over his right shoulder before he took my hand and tugged on it so we could began walking to the market together.

"Hey, Souji?" I said as I started following him. He still had his practice wooden sword in his left hand. "Don't you want to put down your practice sword first?"

"Oh, I forgot I was still holding it." Souji exclaimed before he looked back down at the wooden sword he had brought with him.

I giggled at his forgetfulness. Souji was always practicing now so it almost always seemed like the wooden sword was glued to his hands. I grinned at him playfully before I took the practice weapon from him and placed it in the backpack like basket he had strapped on to his back.

"So, Souji," I said to begin another conversation. There was something I wanted to ask him for a while now and that little confrontation that just happened in front of the dojo just made me want to ask him sooner, "you told me you don't like Isao-kun because you thought that he was too whinny and because he takes up too much of my free time, but why is it I get the distinct feeling that there's another reason you dislike him so much?"

Souji was silent for a moment and he blushed lightly before he looked away in frustration. "Tsubaki-kun likes you," he finally mumbled, "and I don't like how close he's trying to get with you. That self-entitled annoying fly…"

That couldn't be the only reasons that Souji disliked Isao-kun. Plenty of people, like Inoue-san, liked me and were close to me but Souji wasn't chasing them away. What made Isao-kun so different that Souji would bristle and attack him?

"I know he likes me." I said as I looked back at Souji in confusion. "He thinks of me as his friend, doesn't he? He wouldn't dislike me if he considered me his friend. I would have thought you'd dislike the people who don't like me rather than the people who do."

"No, not that type of like." Souji said with frustration as the expression on his face grew dark. "He has feelings for you."

"Oh, so he has—"I repeated calmly after Souji before I let out a yelp when I actually realized what Souji said. "Wait, what?!" A little kid had a crush on me. I totally didn't expect that. I was definitely starting to feel guilty now. Isao-kun had feelings for me and all I saw him as was a kid to babysit. I was a terrible person.

"Shizuka is always so smart, but you're always so oblivious to some things." he mutter quietly as he gained a rueful expression on his face.

I buried my hands into my face, feeling slightly embarrassed that I was completely unaware at what was going on. Souji paused walking and looked back worriedly at me because of my reaction.

"Shizuka?"

"What am I supposed to do?" I moaned into my hands. I didn't want to deal with this. I didn't want to deal with this back when I was an adult in my past life and death didn't change how I felt about these type of situations. "It wouldn't be fair to lead him on if I don't feel the same way he does about me."

"If you don't want to lead him on then you should stop spending time with him." Souji suggested far too gleefully. I removed my face from my hands to see Souji looking extremely happy at what I said. "If you continue talking to him then he'll continue having false hope."

"But I don't want to suddenly stop talking to him." I said to Souji, whose face grew dark again at my words. "He like my otouto and I'd feel guilty if I hurt him like that." I may have felt like I was Isao-kun's babysitter all the time, but that didn't mean I didn't care about his feelings. I didn't want to hurt him in any way.

"But if you continue to speak with him then he'll continue to have false hope." Souji said as he continued to try to persuade me to drop Isao-kun like a rotten, hot potato. "If you suddenly stop speaking to him then you don't have to worry about his stupid little crush on you."

"That's still pretty unfair, don't you think?" I reasoned. "I think I'll just have to sit him down and tell him that I don't feel the same way about him the way he feels about me and that he shouldn't expect me to suddenly develop feelings for him and elope with him, but I won't suddenly stop talking to him."

At that moment, Souji's dark expression became bone-crushingly scary and dark before he muttered under his breath, "Elope?"

"Souji?" I said in confusion to his sudden change in behavior. Did I say something I wasn't supposed to? It seemed like Souji only heard the word "elope" from my previous sentence. Then just as suddenly as that scary, dark expression appeared, it disappeared and was replaced with a suspicious smile that just seemed too ridiculously happy to be real.

"Ah, sorry Shizuka but I just remembered that I some unfinished business to take care of." Souji said as he took off the backpack like grocery basket and handed it back to me after he took his wooden sword out of it. "I'll go shopping with you next time, okay?"

"But I just told…" I started to say, but Souji had already ran off, "…Isao-kun that he could go with me next time…"

Why did I have a foreboding feeling nervousness creeping up on me? It wasn't like Souji was going to go do something to Isao-kun, right? Reassuring myself the best I could, I continued the rest of the way to the market by myself.

By the next time I saw Souji again, it was when he reappeared at the dojo right before lunch. He walked into the kitchen just as I was finishing today's lunch while looking mighty pleased with himself. It was almost like he just finished something that he was proud of.

"Oh, you're back." I said the moment I noticed Souji walk into the kitchen. "Welcome back. Lunch is almost done so you just have to wait a little bit longer."

"Okay." Souji said as he peered over my shoulder to look into the pot. He shot one more happy grin at me before he grabbed a seat on a nearby stool so he could stay in the kitchen and watch me work.

"So," I said while I cracked an egg over the porridge, "what did you go run off to do?"

"Hmm…?" Souji said nonchalantly before he answered. "I just had some unfinished business to take care of. It's nothing you have to worry about."

"Okay, if you say so." I said as I allowed Souji to keep his secrets. He seemed happy when I didn't pry anymore.

The next day, when I saw Isao-kun with his father at the dojo, he was walking with a curious limp. When I tried to ask him what happened, he refused to look me in the eye or talk me. This went on for the rest of the week before I finally cornered him and got my answer.

"I think we should stop being friends." He mumbled quickly before he dashed off as fast as he could with his injuries to go find his father. We didn't speak to each other again afterwards.

Meanwhile, Souji seemed mighty pleased with himself over what had happened. After thinking back to the events that occurred a week ago, everything fell into place quite easily. That day when Souji ran off and claimed that he had some unfinished business to take care of was the day Souji ran off to beat up and threaten Isao-kun. However, I was completely in the dark on how Souji carried out these actions. The Isao-kun I knew was no coward and it definitely would take more than just a beating to scare him off, but Souji had accomplished the impossible. I should have been furious at Souji for his actions since there was in no way I condoned violence, but I found that I couldn't stay angry at him. When I went to confront Souji about he did after Isao-kun, I found that my anger completely melted away after being exposed to Souji's puppy like behavior. So instead of reprimanding him severely for his actions, I just let it drop. After Isao-kun had been chased away, Souji definitely began to enjoy taking up more of my free time.

* * *

"Shizuka." Souji called me as he came to find me in mine and Otou-san's bedroom after his kenjutsu lesson had ended for the day. "My lessons are done. Let's go down to the river again today."

"Okay!" I chirped happily as I put down my calligraphy brush. I could finish writing down my medical notes from my past life later. But just as I closed my notebook, a "meow" came from the open window before Fuku dropped into the room.

"Fuku!" I exclaimed happily as I let her waltz onto my lap. However, Souji seem less than pleased when he saw his least favorite cat appear.

"Shizuka…" Souji whined impatiently as he tugged on my arm. "You can play with Fuku later…"

"But it's been days since I last saw her." I said as I gave Fuku a warm hug.

Fuku had been stopping by less and less these past few months and I was sure today would be the last time I saw her. She was now wearing a collar with a bell attached it around her neck. She had most likely found a nice family a few months back that was able to adopt her and give her a nice home. She would also be too busy come back after her kittens were finally born. I wanted to spend some quality time with her one last time before she left forever.

"Can we go down to the river a little later? I want to spend some time with Fuku now." I asked Souji.

Souji groaned at my request before he let himself drop to the floor in a frustrated gesture as he sat down with an impatient pout. He put his chin on his hand and watched me play with Fuku with displeasure. As if Fuku could feel the negative emotions from Souji, she took one look at him before she made a show of happily rubbing up against me and purring loudly.

"Stupid cat." I heard Souji mumble under his breath and as if Fuku could understand what Souji said, she hiss back at him while showing off her fangs.

"Bad Fuku." I gently reprimanded the cat. "You don't hiss at other people just because they're in a bad mood."

All Fuku did was meow back at me innocently and I smiled at rubbed her between the ears. Souji groan once more at the whole display. After an hour of affectionate petting, Fuku finally left the dojo for what was going to be the last time. The reason for whole visit today was probably to say good-bye. Animals have always been intelligent and affectionate creatures.

"Now can we go to the river?" Souji asked impatiently as he tugged on my arm again.

"Yeah." I answered as I watched Fuku disappear over the wall for the last time. "Souji?"

"Hmm…?"

"I know you don't like Fuku, but you don't have to worry about her coming back anymore." I assured him.

"Huh?" Souji asked confusedly as he squinted at me. "Why?"

"She found a new home, so she won't be coming back anymore." I said with a small, sad smile before I grabbed his hand. "I'm happy for her, but also a little sad."

Souji seemed a bit unsure at how to react or what to say at this newly discovered situation. He looked like he wanted to say something to comfort me, but he didn't want to lie about being glad that Fuku was no longer going to be around. So I took it out of his hands and spoke first.

"It's okay that she's leaving because I know I won't be alone, not anymore. I'll be fine as long as you're here with me. You'll stay with me, right?" I asked as I turned to him with an adoring smile.

"Yeah." Souji said as he returned my smile with a big, happy grin before he began pulling me towards the door. The sun hadn't set yet, after all, and there was still enough daylight left for us to go down to the river to have some fun.

* * *

[1] Hakama (袴) are a type of traditional Japanese clothing. They were originally worn only by men, but today they are worn by both sexes. Hakama are tied at the waist and fall approximately to the ankles. Hakama are worn over a hakamashita.

[2] Daikon (大根, literally "big root"), also known by many other names depending on context, is a mild-flavored winter radish (Raphanus sativus) usually characterized by fast-growing leaves and a long white napiform root.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"That's the ideal meeting...once upon a time, only once, unexpectedly, then never again." ― Helen Oyeyemi

"Otou-san~," I sang as I popped in to our bedroom, like one of those annoying weeds in the yard, just as Otou-san was packing for his short trip, "Where is this degeiko taking place this time?"

"Huh?" Otou-san perked up when he saw me. He paused his packing briefly to shoot me a friendly smile "Oh! I'm going to teach at the new dojo that Satô Hikogorô built."

Oh, the way that Otou-san mentioned the dojo makes it sound like it was in one of those small farming villages on the out skirts of Edo. It sounded like it would interesting and I wanted to tag along. Souji was spending more time in his kenjutsu lessons now so he didn't have the usual amount of time he use to have to spend with me. Deciding that big eyes was the way to go to convince Otou-san to take me with him, I conjured up the biggest and best puppy eyes I could manage.

"Can I come?" I asked cutely just as I approached him to unleash the close range puppy eyes I had prepared.

Otou-san chuckled at the expression that was painted onto my face before he ruffled my short hair. "I thought you said you weren't interested in swordplay." he said as he picked apart my puppy eyes. He knew I wanted something. "Why the sudden interest now?"

"All I said was that I wasn't interested in learning. That doesn't mean that I'm not interest in the mechanics of the Tennen Rishin-ryū style." I continued to pester Otou-san. "So, can I come? Please?"

While I truly wasn't interested in anything that dealt with the sword, I was bored. Because Souji spent most of his time trying to master the Tennen Rishin-ryū style now, I had no one too interesting to talk to. The other children that were my age were all now starting to enter the awkward stage of puberty. All the boys wanted to do was talk about girls, swords, and their newly discovered masculinity and all the girls wanted to talk about were boys, makeup, and weddings. I had already gone through that stage in my past life and I wasn't interested in going through it again. Once was enough. Besides, I got the distinct feeling that Otou-san was going to meet someone interesting at his degeiko. May this person would be someone that would be interesting to talk to.

"Well," Otou-san said as he looked down at me, "I'm leaving right now and there's no time left for you to pack. You can come next time."

Oh boo. That wasn't the answer I was hoping for. I looked at Otou-san with disappointment to show him I was unhappy with the answer, but Otou-san just laughed at me before poking my puffed up cheek, causing the air to leak out of my mouth.

"It's not that boring here." he said with a massive grin before he pat my head. "Be good and listen to Shuusai-sensei and Gen-san while I'm gone. And make sure Souji eats properly. He can't keep going out to eat dango."

"Fine." I yielded with childish disappointment.

"Alright, I'm going now." Otou-san said as he walked out of the bedroom and to the front door so he could put on his shoes.

I followed him like a small shadow so I could send him off. Souji, who also heard that Otou-san was leaving for a degeiko today, was already waiting by the front door to send Otou-san off. After Otou-san put on his shoes, he stepped outside and turned back to face me and Souji before he stepped off the dojo's grounds. Souji and I bowed politely to Otou-san and said, "Have a safe trip." in unison to properly send him off.

"I will." Otou-san called back as he continued walking. "So be good and remember your responsibilities. And Souji, look after Shizu-chan for me while I'm gone."

"I will." Souji answered.

Both Souji and I watched Otou-san leave until we couldn't see him anymore. Now what should I do to kill time after I finished my chores? Otou-san wasn't going to be around for a week, so I couldn't bother him. Maybe I could go down to the market to listen for gossip? Probably not. I did that yesterday so there was probably nothing new to listen to yet. I could go bug Inoue-san since he did seem to like my company, but as nice as Inoue-san was, it often got boring talking to him for extended periods of time. Maybe I could—

"Shizuka." Souji called me and tapped me on the forehead to capture my attention. I should really stop zoning out like that.

"Huh?" I blinked as I turned to face him.

"I need to go practice now, so I need you to come with me." Souji said as he reached down to grab my hand to take me with him, but I didn't understand. He didn't need me with him to practice, I couldn't fight. Souji playfully flicked my forehead when he saw my blank look. "You don't like to be alone, right? Come on let's go." he said before I let him drag me around for the rest of the day.

In the end, I didn't need to find something to do to kill time while Otou-san was gone. The whole week Otou-san was gone, Souji dragged me everywhere with him. He had really taken to heart what Otou-san said about looking after me. Souji even kept me with him at night when I couldn't sleep in my own room because Otou-san wasn't there. He would have me crawl into the same futon with him so I could sleep. Souji truly was the best friend anyone could ask for.

At the end of the week when Otou-san returned, he looked like he was a man deep in love. I had no idea what happened to him while he was away, but I wanted to know.

"Welcome back home, Otou-san." I greeted Otou-san at the front door when he returned late in the morning. Souji wasn't with me this time, he was taking a nap and I didn't want to wake him. "Did something good happen while you were away? You look like you're floating on a cloud made from happiness."

Otou-san greeted me back boisterously as he opened his arms to ask me for a hug. "It's good to be back! Something good did indeed happen. I met someone. He's Satô-san's brother-in-law. Now hurry up and come give your otou-san a welcome home hug."

I happily went up to and gave him the hug that he wanted, but something was bothering me. While I didn't actually know much about history, I do recall reading somewhere that Otou-san was supposed to marry a woman named Tsune and that Otou-san later became involved in the political field and that… Nope, that was all I knew. While gay men did often marry during this time so that they could complete their duty of producing an heir to continue the family name, I could have sworn that Otou-san was completely heterosexual. Did I do something to mess up the historical timeline or was this something that I just completely missed? Would this even be considered messing up the historical timeline? This was my era now too and I had the freedom to move as I wished. Well, either way, there would be no better way to know about where Otou-san's interests laid than asking him.

"I didn't know you were interested in men, Otou-san" I said with faux innocence as soon as I was released from the hug. Otou-san turned extremely pale as soon as I finished speaking. Interesting reaction. It was either he was mortified that I thought he was gay because he was straight as a doornail or it was because he was gay and was hiding it. "It's nothing to be ashamed of." I added shortly after for effect.

"What?!" he all but yelled once he found his voice again before adamantly denying my assertion while shaking his head. "Oh, no, no, no! I'm not interested in men! All I meant was that I made a new friend! A good friend!"

"Oops, maybe you should have been a bit clearer." I said with a sly smile that made Otou-san feel distinctly uncomfortable.

"What's with that smile?" Otou-san asked with suspicious worry as he tensed up. "You believe me right? Tell me you believe me."

"Maybe~" I teased him, causing Otou-san to turn paler than before. Okay, I should probably stop now. I had my fun.

"Shizuka!" Otou-san yelped. "I'm not gay!"

"I know, I know." I giggled to put him out of his misery. "I'm just teasing you. So, what's his name?"

Otou-san sighed loudly and relaxed visibly before he eyed me wearily. "His name is Hijikata Toshizo." Otou-san answered before he took another breath. "He's incredibly intelligent and fairly strong. I invited him over for some practice later today when he's finished with his job."

Hijikata Toshizo, I had read that name somewhere before in my past life and I was pretty sure that he was famous for something, but for what, I didn't remember. All I did know was that he was supposedly an intelligent and talented individual and supposedly very strict. Maybe he was a military commander of some sort? He did seem like he would have the traits of a military commander. I didn't really remember since memorizing history wasn't all that important to me back then, plus the fact that I never studied Japanese history in detail so everything I read on Japanese history was always fairly brief and undescriptive. However, now that I was living in the past, my curiosity was tickled. Now I really wished that I had paid closer attention to history and asked more questions.

However, I did know that Hijikata Toshizo was recorded by historians to be a strict person, but history was always written by the living about people who were long since dead. How would I know if the history that was recorded was actually accurate? I wanted to meet this man so I could develop my own conclusion about him. But if this man really was as strict as he was made out to be then it must have been his most memorable trait if the historians wrote about it.

"Can you introduce us?" I asked while tugging on Otou-san's hand to make myself look cuter so that it would be harder to turn down my request. "Please?"

"You're not going to question him about his sexual preferences, are you?" Otou-san asked me, still weary from the stunt I pulled earlier.

"I won't." I promised wholeheartedly. "So please?"

"Alright." Otou-san agreed immediately after my promise. He grinned once more and ruffled my hair again. "I'll introduce you to Toshi. Who knows, Shizu-chan might finally have another person she can hold a conversation with! Now go run along. I'll come find you later when Toshi arrives."

After finishing my little conversation with Otou-san, I ran off to take a nap with Souji so I could leave Otou-san to finish whatever task had to finish upon returning home. Some few hours past as the morning turned into the afternoon, I parted with Souji to go in search of Otou-san while Souji went down to the main practice hall of the dojo for his kenjutsu lessons with the other pupils. While I was wander down the hall in search for Otou-san, some sounds caught my attention.

"Hah!"

"Erk!"

I heard two voices accompanied by the sound of bokken clashing together as I passed a small practice room. That was strange. There should be classes going on right now, hence why Souji wasn't with me right now. There shouldn't be anyone using that practice room at the current moment_._ I decided to peek into the room to see who the people practicing inside were. There were three people in that room. Inoue-san was seated on the floor as he watched two people spar. The two people locked in combat were Otou-san and a rather handsome young man that had his long hair tied up in a high ponytail. As soon as the two men disengaged and bowed respectfully to each other, Otou-san glanced at me as my head was poking out from behind the doorway.

"Ah! There you are Shizu-chan! I was just about to go find you." As Otou-san spoke, the other man followed Otou-san gaze, his eyes widening slightly when he saw me. It was usually a bit strange to find a small girl wandering the halls of any dojo.

"Come over here," Otou-san waved me over with a grin, "you said you wanted me to introduce you to Toshi."

I nodded enthusiastically before I bounced up to Otou-san and the handsome looking man with the ponytail.

"Someone wanted to meet me?" The man with the ponytail asked as he watched me approach him with curiosity.

"Toshi, this is my daughter, Shizuka." Otou-san said as he gestured to me before gesturing back at the man. "Shizu-chan, this is Hijikata Toshizo."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Hijikata-san." I said with a polite bow before turning to Inoue-san, "Good afternoon, Inoue-san."

"Ah, good afternoon to you too, Shizuka-chan," Inoue-san answered me before Hijikata-san.

"It's nice to meet you too, Shizuka-chan." Hijikata-san replied as he lowered himself to my height after Inoue-san before turning to Otou-san, "I didn't know you were married."

"Oh! I'm not married yet. Shizu-chan here isn't my daughter by blood, but I was the one that found and raised her."

That was interesting. For Otou-san to already tell this man that he found me and adopted rather than me his blood daughter after only a week of knowing this man, Otou-san must have really come to like and trust Hijikata-san. But one thing I noticed about Otou-san was that he trusted way too easily. Only time would tell if the trust Otou-san was right to trust Hijikata-san so soon.

"That was very generous of you! And you raised her so well, she's very polite." Hijikata-san exclaimed in pleasant surprise before he turned to face me again. "So Shizuka-chan, how old are you?" he asked me with a tone one would usually only use with young children.

"I'm eleven." I answered bluntly. I wasn't too happy with the way that Hijikata-san was talking down to me, but in his defense, I was didn't look like I was eleven. I was still tiny in comparison to the other children my age. "You don't have to talk down to me like I'm a child. I guarantee you that I'll be able to understand anything you say to me."

Hijikata-san seemed stunned at the way I spoke to him and even more surprised at my age.

"What?! You're eleven?" Hijikata-san said in surprise before he squinted at me to gather more information. "You speak well for an eleven year old. How are you this tiny?"

"Well, you see, I was really a thirty-one year old woman from the future who died in a horrific accident before I was reincarnated into the past in the body of a premature baby that was a product of rape. So this is why I speak so well and why I'm so tiny." I answered honestly all in one breath. Hijikata-san just stared at me with disbelief. He probably thought I was being sarcastic.

Otou-san and Inoue-san just merely laughed at my response before Otou-san placed his hand on my shoulder affectionately. "She's a piece of work, isn't she?" Otou-san said with fatherly pride.

"Well," Hijikata-san said as he stood back up straight again, "she certainly isn't like all the other kids her age I've seen."

Of course I wasn't going to be. I would be insulted if he thought I was. So far this man seemed like a kind person. He didn't seem all that strict, although I've only spoken to him for a few minutes. I wanted to know more about the man that captured Otou-san's affection so quickly, even Inoue-san seemed to really like him. Hmm…

"Otou-san, would you like me to get everyone some tea and snacks?" I suddenly offered. I figured that I would learn more about Hijikata-san at the moment by listening in on some of his conversations with Otou-san and what better way to promote small talk than having some tea with snacks?

"Oh! That would be much appreciated! Thank you, Shizu-chan." Otou-san said graciously.

"Hijikata-san," I called to get his attention before I left for the kitchen, "do you have any preferences to what snacks you would like to eat? Are there any allergies I should be aware of?"

"Ah, anything's fine and as far as I'm aware, I'm not allergic to anything." Hijikata-san answered before he sent me off with a polite nod.

As I stepped out of the room to go fetch the refreshments, the small talk began and I lingered a bit to catch some of the conversation.

"She really is a piece of work and she seems so intelligent too. Is she literate?" I heard Hijikata-san ask.

"Yes, she is and I believe that she's even more literate than me! She's fluent in Chinese and Japanese." Otou-san boasted.

"Really? You must be glad you spent the money to hire a tutor for her if she can retain all that information all that well. Pity she's a girl. She would have made a fine scholar."

"Well, that's just the thing. I never hired a tutor for her. She was already fluent in Chinese before I started to teach her how to read and write Japanese…"

"What?! How the hell does that work?!"

Ooo, looks like Hijikata-san wasn't afraid of using some less than polite language.

"I have no idea…" Otou-san said with his puzzlement clearly obvious.

"I remember the day when Isami-san discovered that Shizuka-chan was fluent in Chinese." I then heard Inoue-san cut in to the conversation. "Shizuka-chan was sick with the measles at that time and Isami-san was trying to keep her entertained while she was stuck in bed."

"I gave her a blank journal to amuse herself with despite the fact I hadn't started to teach her how to read and write yet and by the end of the week, it was filled from cover to cover with Chinese and medical diagrams that were actually accurate! I had never been so surprised in my life!" Otou-san continued from Inoue-san's piece.

"Isami-san was so shocked that he ran off to the temple to pray for an entire week without any breaks."

"How could I not? Shizu-chan must have been a gift from the gods! How else could a young girl have all that knowledge without having a teacher?"

Okay, that was enough eavesdropping for now. I'd better run off to go get the refreshment before they suspected that I had planned this just to listen in on the conversation. When I returned to the room later with refreshments, I served all the men before I took a seat next to Otou-san so I could listen in to the rest of the men's conversation in the open. Otou-san was right about Hijikata-san. From what I gathered from the small talk, Hijikata-san was an honorable person and an intelligent individual that was worthy of Otou-san's trust. Hijikata-san was also rather practical too. After realizing that I was not like all the other children, he started to speak to me like an equal. He didn't dumb down his speech with me like many other adults did and I greatly appreciated that. I liked Hijikata-san and he certainly had my approval.

After that day, Hijikata-san would always arrive at the dojo everyday around the same time to practice and converse with Otou-san and occasionally with Inoue-san. Souji, who was never around when Hijikata-san was here due to his kenjutsu lessons, began to notice how enamored Otou-san was with his new friend. Souji would always hear Otou-san say things like, "Toshi this" and "Toshi that" or, "You must have had fun talking to Toshi today, Shizu-chan."

Frustrated with these new developments, Souji always cornered me right after each of his classes every day forced me to tell him everything that happened. He grew more envious and moody with each day and with each piece of information I passed on to him.

"Shizuka." Souji called to me as he ran up to me right after his lessons ended. He was still covered in sweat from today's practice.

"Souji, you know you should, at the very least, wipe away your sweat from today's lesson." I voiced my disapproval before I began wiping the sweat from his face with my kimono sleeve. "This is one of the reasons why you get sick so easily."

Souji quickly brushed away my arm as I reached out to wipe away the sweat. "Shizuka!" Souji voiced displeasure at my actions. "You'll get your kimono dirty. Back to what I want to ask you—"

"About what happened today with Hijikata-san?" I guessed the obvious topic he wanted to ask about.

"So? What happened?" he asked impatiently with a frown. "Is Kondou-san still spending his whole afternoons with that man? Are you?"

"Well, we actually talked about Rangaku[1] today." I answered Souji's first question. "He was impressed with my medical knowledge so he took some time and effort to secure some Dutch medical books for me and we spent the whole afternoon discussing it. You know how hard it is to get Dutch medical books and how expensive they are."

"The whole afternoon?" Souji asked with an increasingly bad mood growing. "Did Kondou-san stay to talk the entire afternoon too?"

I nodded and Souji huffed angrily at what I told him. He was frustrated at the new intruder that had snuck his way into mine and Otou-san's lives because both Otou-san and I were spending so much time with this "intruder".

"Souji?" I said to get his attention again after he started to brood. I didn't like it when Souji was this frustrated about something and I wanted get his mind off of this topic. I continued speaking when I had Souji's attention. "I just finished preparing a hot bath for you a little earlier so that you can enjoy a relaxing bath after practice. After you're done with your bath, do you think you can help me fetch some things at the marketplace?"

Souji brightened up when I asked him for his help and put his negative thoughts out of his mind for now.

Finally, one day the class schedules were changed. One of the instructors had an aging mother that required more care and couldn't teach classes at the same allotted time anymore. Souji no longer had his lessons in the afternoon. The time he had free now was at the same time that Hijikata-san usually came to the dojo.

"It's good that the class times got rearranged," said Otou-san to Souji as we all sat together eating lunch, "I'll finally get to introduce you to Toshi."

"Yes, I'm sure you'll like him." Inoue-san added in between bites of his meal. "Shizuka-chan likes him and she doesn't become attached to many people very easily."

I nodded in agreement, agitating Souji even more as he griped his chopsticks together so tightly that they started to grind against each other. I frowned and reached over to take his hand. Souji put down his chopsticks and gently squeezed my hand back when he accepted it.

"Yes, I'm sure I will," Souji lied though his teeth with a smile. He was unable to control the unconscious twitch of his eyebrow.

And so came the fateful meeting of Souji and Hijikata-san.

"Toshi, meet my otoutodeshi[2], Okita Souji. Now Souji, your greetings." Otou-san said cheerfully as he rubbed Souji's head affectionately.

"Good day, Hijikata-san. I've heard a lot about you from Kondou-san."

Oh, Souji had that smile on his right now. He had something planned for Hijikata-san. Figuring this was going to be fun, I moved in a bit closer so I wouldn't accidently miss something.

"Oh. So what have you heard?" Hijikata-san asked Souji. He had already met me and he liked me, but he was going to be in for a nasty surprise if he thought Souji was going to be anything like me.

"Let's see... Things like he's already old enough but still tied to his married ane's apron strings, not getting a serious job, challenging dojos and forcing them to buy his family's medicine after beating them up, being smart but not using his wits in doing good, and stuff like that." Souji happily dissed Hijikata-san without missing a beat.

"What the... Kondou-san, you've been saying that to a kid like this?" Hijikata-san asked with shock.

"Err... No! I don't recall saying such things." Otou-san said while looking confused at Souji's words as he tried to fix the situation.

"Isami-san would never talk about Toshi-san in such manner." Inoue-san jumped in to defend Otou-san.

"Of course not." Souji said with a smug smile starting to form on this face. "Kondou-san wouldn't talk this way. I'm only saying what I want to say. I heard those from other older pupils."

"Kid, tell you what. If you can't tell what's a stupid rumor and what's not, you'll never grow up to be a decent man." Hijikata-san said as he attempted to connect with Souji by offering as a piece of advice.

"If that means wondering around all day doing nothing but practicing sword, rather than getting a proper job, I'll be careful not to become one like you."

"Souji!" Otou-san finally scolded Souji. "Don't talk this way!"

After watching that exchange, I couldn't help myself as I burst out into uncontrollable giggles. That was amusing to watch, Souji could be pretty quick-witted too when he wanted to be.

"Ehh?! Don't laugh, Shizu-chan!" Otou-san scolded me as he kept looking back and forth between me and Souji.

Souji just stood there with a proud smirk, pleased that he made me laugh when he dissed Hijikata-san.

After Souji and Hijikata-san met, a vicious cycle formed between the two. Souji would go out of his way just to annoy and tease Hijikata-san, while, in turn, Hijikata-san would yell at Souji frustratingly before sinking down to Souji's level and start hurling insults back at Souji. However, that isn't to say that they didn't grow close to each other. Hijikata-san came to view Souji as the annoying little brother and Souji… well, came to see Hijikata-san as the pain-in-the-ass cousin that nobody wants to see during family reunions. This cycle continued for two years before Hijikata-san started to live at the dojo in 1859. After that, the cycle got a little bit…more vicious.

"Hey, what do you think of this haiku?" Souji asked me as he pointed to one in a journal that he obviously stole from Hijikata-san's room after breaking in.

"It's… pretty terrible."

"For such a smart man, Hijikata-san sure is bad at writing poetry, right? Hehehe, look at this one—"

"SOUJI!" A loud yell rang across the dojo. Looks like Hijikata-san discovered what Souji did.

Within a matter of seconds, the door of the room Souji and I were sitting in was slammed open with a loud bang.

"SOUJI! YOU BROKE INTO MY ROOM AGAIN AND STOLE MY HAIKU JOURNEL!" Hijikata-san furiously yelled at Souji, "GIVE IT BACK!"

"Eh? No way, I'm not done with it yet~" Taunted Souji as he stood up, "Right, Shizuka?"

"SOUJI!" Hijikata-san yelled before scolding me, "DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM SHIZUKA!"

Souji quickly danced away as Hijikata lunged him.

"Neh, Hijikata-san, Shizuka is always on my side so it's pointless to tell her such things~" Souji mocked Hijikata-san before running out the door with the book.

"SOUJI!" Hijikata-san yelled after Souji before giving chase, "GET BACK HERE!"

"Wait for me!" I quickly scrambled to my feet to run after them. I didn't want to be left in this room by myself.

* * *

[1] Rangaku (Kyūjitai: 蘭學/Shinjitai: 蘭学, literally "Dutch Learning", and by extension "Western Learning") is a body of knowledge developed by Japan through its contacts with the Dutch enclave of Dejima, which allowed Japan to keep abreast of Western technology and medicine in the period when the country was closed to foreigners, 1641–1853, because of the Tokugawa shogunate's policy of national isolation (sakoku).

[2] Otoutodeshi literally means "little brother pupil", which means a pupil of the same dojo, but entered later.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it." ― Candace Bushnell, _Sex and the City_

"Souji?" I called as I came to a stop right outside his closed bedroom door. "It's time to teach lessons. Hijikata-san is already in the main practice hall of the dojo waiting for you."

Now instead of Souji and Hijikata-san taking kenjutsu lessons, they were now instructors that taught the students. Ever since Hijikata-san started living here, there have been some changes to the dojo. Other than Souji and Hijikata-san becoming instructors there was a decline of students that attended the dojo.

Ever since the Treaty of Amity and Commerce, or otherwise known as the Harris Treaty, was signed in 1858, the Japanese economy had been a mess. The price of ordinary goods and daily supplies skyrocketed as the result of open trade. With the price of daily living increasing, fewer and fewer students could afford to keep coming to the dojo. The number of request for degeiko had also decreased too. Another factor that added to the decrease in students were the epidemics that appeared with alongside open trade. When the foreigners brought over new goods to Japan, they also brought over the diseases originating from the West. The decreasing number of students was worrisome. The amount of income the dojo produced was declining and if the trend continued then the dojo would be unable to remain open. However, though as troubling as the money situation was, that would be another issue for another day.

"Souji?" I called him again when he didn't answer. "Are you feeling okay? If you feel sick then I can go tell Otou-san and Hijikata-san."

"S-Shizuka?" Souji finally replied, although he sounded a bit nervous and embarrassed for some strange reason. "No, I'm not feeling sick. Umm… Just give me a moment and I'll be out."

"Is everything okay in there?" I asked with concern. What was he so nervous and embarrassed about? "Do you need me to come in and help you with whatever you're having trouble with?"

"Umm…"

"Souji, I'm coming in." I called through the closed door when I didn't get a clear response.

"W-Wait!" Souji cried as I opened the door and stepped inside.

When I entered Souji's room, I was greeted with an unexpected sight. Souji was seated in front of a small mirror with his hand in his messy hair. Instead of the normal ponytail I was used to seeing on Souji, he now had a messy version of a topknot. Despite that the topknot was a very common hairstyle for men and especially samurai in this era, the moment I saw the mess topknot I knew instantly that Souji was trying to copy Otou-san's hairstyle. Souji did admire Otou-san greatly. However, this was most likely his first time trying to do a topknot hence the less than tidy hair.

The moment Souji saw me enter his room, he blushed slightly in embarrassment and turned to face the other way so he wasn't looking at me directly in the face. "D-Don't laugh!" Souji immediately said when I stopped in place and stared at him.

I didn't laugh at him, but I smiled. His attempt at copying Otou-san's hairstyle was rather adorable. "I won't laugh." I said before I approached him and sat down behind him. I gently untangled his hands from his hair and pulled the tie holding his hair up down before placing the tie on the floor next to me.

"Shizuka?" Souji asked in confusion as he watched me from his mirror.

"I help Otou-san put up his hair almost every morning when he wakes up." I said with a gentle smile before I reached for the wooden comb on the small table in front of him. "First you have to make sure to brush out all the knots in your hair."

I gently combed his hair out while taking extra care not to pull on the knots. Souji didn't complain about my sudden intrusion into his personal space, it was the complete opposite. He seemed to enjoy it greatly when I gently ran my fingers through his hair to untangle the knots and to massage his scalp. When I was sure his hair was tangle free, I place the comb back on the table.

"Then you take your hair and bunch it together like you would usually do when tying a high ponytail, but make sure you don't pull the hair too tightly. If you do then you'll damage the roots of your hair." I said as I performed the actions that I had just described. "Then you place your hand over by the base of your ponytail and then loop the tail over your two fingers. When the topknot looks the way you want it to look then take your hair tie and secure it in place. There, done!"

Souji blinked at me while looking in the mirror with surprise. He must have been sitting here for quite a bit trying to make the topknot look good while I completed the desired topknot in the matter of seconds. I reached around him and grabbed another small mirror and held it up behind him so he could see the topknot on the back of his head through the double mirror effect.

"Like it?" I asked him as he looked at the topknot I tied for him.

Souji smiled at my work. "Yeah, thanks." he answered me before he turned slightly to take the second mirror from me and placed it back on the table. "So how do you think it looks?"

"I think it suits you." I said as I quickly hugged him from behind. Souji's smile became larger at my complement.

"Well, come on, let's go." Souji said cheerfully as he untangled my arms from him before he stood up after he was done admiring his new hairstyle. He offered me a hand then pulled me up. "You did say it's time to teach lessons, right? We've kept Hijikata-san waiting long enough and I'm pretty sure he has some words for me for being late."

We left his room together with him leading the way and me following him from behind. He glimpsed back at me through the corner of his eyes and smiled at me once more.

"What is it?" I asked him while trailing behind him.

"I'm just wondering if you will ever grow out your hair." Souji asked as he continued walking towards the main practice hall.

"My hair?" I asked. Many of the girls my age had already started discard their girlish, short, shoulder length hair for the woman's long hair. However, instead of following that trend, I had kept my hair short. It was easier to take care of short hair, especially in a time period where there were no such appliances like blow-dryers.

"You should grow out your hair." he commented just as we arrived at the main practice hall. "I think you would look very pretty with long hair."

Before I could answer Souji, Hijikata-san in his glorious anger, stomped up to Souji.

"Where have you been?!" Hijikata-san scolded Souji. "You're an instructor and you're supposed to set an example for the students. What does it say when an instructor is late to the class he's supposed to teach?"

"Hijikata-san worries too much." Souji said with a laidback attitude as he shrugged his shoulders. "Hijikata-san will start spouting white hairs like an old man then all the ladies will run away from him, right?" he asked as he winked at his students. They all laughed at what Souji said, causing Hijikata-san to become more annoyed.

"Tsk! Just start the lessons already!" Hijikata-san said with a frustrated growl before he stomped back to where his own students were.

"Shizuka, go sit on the side, okay?" Souji said as he shot me a mischievous grin. When I left for the sidelines of the room, that's when Souji began teaching his students alongside Hijikata-san.

I sat on the sidelines and zoned out for the rest of the lessons. Should I grow out my hair like Souji said I should? Well, I was thirteen now and as soon as I got my first period then I would be considered a woman and women were supposed to sport long hair in this era. I probably should. I'd probably attract some unwanted attention and criticism from other people if I continued to have short hair. But I already attracted some unwanted attention and criticism from other people for just not having a mother figure in my life. Speaking of mother figure, isn't Otou-san supposed to get married in March of 1860? It was now already the spring of 1859 and Otou-san still hadn't even met the woman he was supposedly going to marry yet. While I did not know much about the woman Otou-san was supposed to marry, I did know a few basic details.

"No, your posture is all wrong. If someone swings their sword at you this way, you won't be able to block it. Hey, Hijikata-san, you suck at teaching. The student you were teaching earlier still can't get the right posture."

"What are you talking about, Souji?! Not everyone is like you and able to get the correct posture right away." I heard in the background as I was got lost in my thoughts.

Ignoring the background noise, I ducked back into my thoughts. From what I read, the woman that Otou-san married had the name of Tsune and she was the daughter of Matsui Yasogorō who was a retainer to the Shimizu-Togukawa clan. She was born into the warrior class so her marriage to Otou-san was rather advantageous to Otou-san…

"Shizuka?"

I also recalled reading that since she was born with a harelip she wasn't really considered pretty…

"Shizuka? Can you hear me~?"

Since Tsune was aware of facial imperfections, she didn't rely on her appearance and did not act like the other women of her class. She was said to be humble and kind and she is supposedly three years younger than Otou-san…

"Just smack her upside the head to get her attention."

"Hijikata-san, you go bash your own head in. Don't tell me to hit her."

I wanted Otou-san to get married. He deserved to start his own blood family. I knew that with me being in the past that it would slightly change somethings and I accepted that, but one thing I didn't want to change was Otou-san's marriage. I didn't want to be the reason that Otou-san wasn't going to get married…

"Fine, if you don't do it then I will."

Oh! Maybe I could find Tsune and somehow introduce her to Otou-san? I was sure that all I needed to do was get them to meet each other and then everything else would fall into place by itself. I could try looking in the northern markets of Edo first. That was where most of the upper class gathered for shopping. Maybe I could go take a look once both Souji and Hijikata-san were done teaching—!

Someone knocked on my forehead and interrupted my thoughts. When my vision came back into focus, Hijikata-san's face was right in front of mine.

"Umm… Hi?" Why was his face so close to mine? Did I miss something important? Of course, I must have completely zoned out again.

"So you finally decided to rejoin reality." Hijikata-san sighed as he backed away and stood up again.

"Care to share about what had you staring off into space for the last couple of minutes? Class has now been over for at least three minutes now and you were just sitting there, staring." Souji asked from behind Hijikata-san.

"Don't you think it's a bit strange how Otou-san hasn't gotten married yet?" I suddenly blurted out. I should have eased into that question instead of blurting it out.

"Hah?! That's what you were thinking about?" Souji looked at me like I was crazy.

"Don't you think that when and whether Kondou-san gets married should be up to him?" Hijikata-san questioned me with his eyebrows pinched together. I ignored Hijikata-san in favor of my own thoughts.

Well, class is over now... "I should probably start looking for that woman now…" I muttered the last part of my thoughts out loud before jumping up and running out of the room. "There's something I need to do right now. I'll talk to you guys later." The two men wore confused stares as they watched me run out the door.

I arrived at the northern Edo market roughly about forty minutes after I left the dojo. It was still the Hour of the Ram[1], so the marketplace was filled with plenty people and was rather lively. Now where in the marketplace should I start? I pondered as my eyes swept the marketplace. How about— Wait… Seriously?! Lo and behold the lovely work of Lady Luck. Standing about nine meters away, a well-dressed young woman with a harelip, was examining some eggplants at a small stall.

I narrowed my eyes at the woman in question to examine her from a distance. Okay, locating her was far too easy. I had never had anything so convenient happen so easily before in my life. Maybe this was another woman? There was just no possible way it was going to be that easy to track Tsune without some help—

"Back again, Otsune-san?" the elderly shopkeeper asked the woman.

Otsune-san? The O in the front was an exalted prefix to show respect for the individual it pertained to. So the name was a match, the harelip was a match, and not to mention the woman was dress in an expensive kimono that only women of the warrior class were allowed to wear. This had to be the woman that I was looking for, but the main problem was: how was I going to introduce Otou-san and Tsune to each other?

I braced myself for what I was about to do. I just really hoped that Tsune was really as kind as what was written down in the historical records. I really didn't want to get whipped for crashing into a woman of higher class.

Deciding to use my small physique to my advantage, I waited until Tsune left the store with her newly bought eggplant. As soon as it looked like she wasn't paying attention to where she was walking, I walked towards her at a quickened pace before I "accidentally" crashed into her. The force of the collision made me fall backwards and "sprain" my ankle.

"Ouch!" I cried with a fake pained voice before I started sniffling, making myself look absolutely pitiful.

"Oh no!" She gasped before she dropped everything she was holding to go check on me. "You are hurt! This is entirely my fault!" She looked at me wide-eyed in panic.

"Ow, my ankle. I can't get up by myself." I said with a small teary voice as I allowed fake tears to pool in my eyes.

"I am so sorry! Let me get you back home, it is the least I can do after I hurt your foot." She felt looked guilty for accidentally "injuring" a little girl. Maybe I was laying it on a bit too thick? No, this was good. Now all that's left to do is to allow her to take me back home where she would run into Otou-san.

"So, what is your name?" Tsune asked me while giving me a piggyback ride on the way home. She had never bothered to pick up the eggplant she had dropped when she went to go check up on me since I had "allowed" her to take me back home since I had "injured" myself and "couldn't" walk.

"I'm Shizuka, it's nice to meet you!" I chirpped cutely, still acting like a little kid.

"My name is Tsune, the daughter of Matsui Yasogorō. I am sorry for running into you earlier. It is a pleasure to meet you too, Shizuka-chan." Tsune replied with a gentle smile. "How old are you, Shizuka-chan?"

"Oh, I'm thirteen." I said, dropping the little kid act as I revealed my true age. There was no point in continuing my act if she knew my real age.

"You are thirteen?!" she exclaimed in shock. "You are so small that I thought you were nine!"

"Everyone says that. Oh, turn here. I live at the dojo right around this corner." I answered as I calmly pointed in the direction I wanted her to walk in.

When we turned the corner, I saw Otou-san and Hijikata-san at the gate of the dojo speaking with each other.

"Excuse me," Tsune said as she walked up to them.

"Oh! How can I help…? Shizu-chan! What are you doing? Did you hurt yourself?" Otou-san asked in alarm when she saw me on Tsune's back.

"That was entirely my fault. I am afraid I was not paying attention to where I was walking. I walked into her and she sprained her ankle when she fell backwards." Tsune explained while looking regretful. "I thought the least I could do was take her home."

"Ah, I see. Toshi, can you take Shizu-chan inside and treat her ankle?" Otou-san said as he turned to Hijikata-san.

"Sure." agreed Hijikata-san as he went over to take me from Tsune's arms.

Tsune then passed me to Hijikata-san and I was carried into the dojo by Hijikata-san while Otou-san and Tsune remained outside speaking to each other.

"Just what are you planning?" Hijikata-san asked with narrowed eyes once we made it inside the dojo. He placed me on the floor inside the dojo before he questioned me any further. "Your ankle isn't really sprained plus what you said right before you ran off... Why did you bring that woman here?" he demanded.

I decided to be completely honest and blunt with my answer. "She's Otou-san's future wife."

Hijikata-san twitched as a vein appeared on his forehead before he promptly smacked me across the back of the head.

"Don't go around playing matchmaker!" It looked like he really irritated with my statement. "Besides, how would you know if they fit well together? It's not like you know the future."

Not like I knew the future, huh? I may not know much about Japanese history, but I was still willing to bet that I still knew more than he did. "Hey, want to make a bet with me?" I asked with cocky confidence.

"Wha—where did that come from?" Hijikata-san asked as he raised an eyebrow at my sudden request.

"What?" I provoked him. "Are you afraid that you're going to lose?"

"Wanna say that again, little girl?"

"If they get married in March of 1860, then you have to attend the wedding wearing a woman's kimono. But if they don't get married in March of 1860, then I'll stop Souji from stealing you haiku books."

"Ho? Feeling confident, are we? Fine, I accept your bet."

There was no way I was going to lose this bet, but don't worry Hijikata-san. I'll be sure to find Hijikata-san a pretty kimono to wear for the wedding. Maybe something that'll bring out his beautiful purple eyes?

"Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going back to spy on them." I said nonchalantly as I began to quietly make my way back towards the front so I could spy on the two people of interest.

"No you're not." Hijikata-san said as his hand shot out to grab me by the scuff of my clothing before I could get too far. "You've manipulated enough people for today and you're on kitchen duty tonight." He then picked me up by the scruff of my kimono and carried me off to the kitchen.

By the time it was the January of 1860, it was clear that I was going to win that bet. Just as I predicted, the wedding was arranged to take place in March of that year. After becoming interested in Tsune-san, Otou-san went to go request her hand in marriage from her father and the engagement quickly fell through afterwards. Tsune's father thought that no one would ever ask for her hand in marriage because of the harelip she possessed. So when Otou-san went to ask for her hand, her father was thrilled and immediately gave permission. Everyone celebrated the engagement. No, let me correct that statement. Almost everyone celebrated the engagement. While Hijikata-san was happy for Otou-san, he was also so mortified that he lost the bet that even began to deny its existence.

"So have you decided what color kimono you're wearing to the wedding yet?" I sang as Hijikata-san was trying to cut the fish for dinner, keyword being trying.

"What are you talking about? Don't you have floors to sweep? Stop pestering me and go sweep the floors."

"Denial is bad for your health." I continued to pester him.

"You're being delusional." objected Hijikata-san without looking up from his messy task. "I'm not denying anything."

"Aww... I thought you were a man of honor." I said as I poked at his weakness. I had learned over the years that if I wanted to get something from Hijikata-san then I would have to aim at his sense of honor. "Now I've lost all the respect I had for you."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"... Blue..." he finally mumbled under his breath as he turned his face away from me after a moment of silence.

"Hmm? What's that? I didn't hear you~" I sang as I prepared myself to gloat at his misfortune that I happened to be the cause of.

"I'm not making your dinner tonight." Hijikata-san finally retaliated, but it was totally ineffective.

"It's okay, your cooking tastes disgusting anyways." I said with a goofy grin before becoming serious again. "By the way, you shouldn't cook the fish like that. You'll give everybody food poisoning. You know what? Move over. I'll take care of tonight's dinner."

The night of the wedding came and spirits were high. Unfortunately, Hijikata-san did not end up wearing a woman's kimono at the wedding. There were some tasks to be completed right before the wedding and he instantly volunteered to take care of all of them by himself. By the time he completed all the tasks, it was time for the wedding and there was no time to dress him up.

The wedding went without a problem; people celebrated, people got drunk, and people went home to sleep. However, unlike the people who went home to sleep, I was wide awake. After Tsune-san accepted Otou-san's marriage proposal, it was decided that I was to get my own room. However, Otou-san and Tsune-san didn't know about my monophobia. I didn't tell them because I didn't want to create any problems by worrying them. Even Hijikata-san didn't know about my monophobia, although he probably had his suspicions. Only Souji knew about my problems. Tonight was to be the first night I would be sleeping alone.

I had tried to sleep in my own room after all the partying ended, but I couldn't sleep. The sense of isolation was suffocating and it felt like it was literally going to crush the life out of me. Before, this problem could have been easily remedied by sneaking over to Souji's room, but that was no longer an option. With the passing of my fourteenth birthday, my body kicked into high gear as it was forced through puberty. Within a matter of months, I shot up a few inches, my chest developed, and my menstruation cycle began. I was now considered a young woman and Souji had already long been considered a man. It now would have been highly inappropriate if I snuck over to sleep in his room. However, despite how it would have been considered inappropriate, Souji told me before the wedding processions began today that I should go over to his room to sleep if I couldn't stand being alone. I appreciated Souji's offer, but I felt like if I took his offer then I would unintentionally cause many harming rumors to start. I didn't want to ruin Souji's name, so I kept away.

I kicked off the bed sheets and stalked in the main hall when sleep still wouldn't come. If I couldn't sleep then there would have been no point in trying anyways. The main hall was dark and empty. There were both full and empty saké jars tossed all across the room from the party that was held in the hall a few hours earlier. I just stood and stared at the jars of saké for what felt like hours. Deciding with a disillusioned and confused mind that I couldn't stand my crushing fear and loneliness any longer, I grabbed a jar, pulled the cork off, and emptied the contents into my stomach. Or, at least, that was what I intended to do. As I placed the opening of the jar to my lips, a hand grabbed my arm and prevented me from doing anything else.

"What are you doing?" Hijikata-san asked sternly. He had come out of nowhere and he was furious at my actions.

I wasn't in the mood to deal with his questions. I wasn't in the right condition to even answer any questions properly. All I wanted to do was drink until I forgot all my problems. All I wanted to do was drink until I passed out and Hijikata-san was in my way.

"Why are you here?" I snapped back with great hostility as I tried to jerk my wrist out of his firm grasp, but I failed. His hand was like an iron cable around my arm.

"Answer me." Hijikata-san said as he refused to be scared off by my hostility.

I didn't want to deal with his stupid questions right now. He was a nuisance at the current moment and despite the fact I couldn't stand being alone, I didn't want Hijikata-san here. "What I am doing is none of your fucking business." I finally snarled back when Hijikata-san refused to back off.

"You've never behaved like this before." Hijikata-san said as he looked over me carefully as if he believed that I had a physical aliment. "Why are you acting like this now?" he demanded. It was clear that he was not going to back down until he got an answer from me. "Are you unhappy with the marriage? You were the one that wanted them to get married."

"The whole world isn't centered on your man crush, Hijikata." I snorted rudely as I turned my face away from his.

"Then tell me why you're acting like this."

I silently laughed hysterically at his request with a crazed look. I was just a basket case of problems, wasn't' I? "Do you really want to know? Fine then, I am supposed to be fucking dead. I shouldn't even exist right now."

Hijikata-san became shocked at my words before he gave me a gentler look. He took the jar of saké from my loosened grip before dropping my arm.

"Are you talking about when Kondou-san found you?" He asked softly as he put the jar back on the floor. "Kondou-san told me that he found you in an abandoned fishing boat left for dead."

All of my enmity left as soon as he spoke those words and I slowly sunk to the floor in despair. In the end all my problems always started with dying or almost dying again. I was really messed up on the inside and I hated myself for it.

"I hate this," my voice shook as it became a whisper towards the end. "My whole life is defined by that one event. I can't get over it no matter how much I try." Some tears formed in my eyes and it wasn't long before they started to roll down my cheeks. "I can't stand being alone. I can't bear it." I said as I buried my face into my hands to try to hide my tears. "I feel so alone, so weak, so ashamed. Why…why won't my fear go away...? I…I…"

Arms wrapped around my shoulder before I was pulled against a warm body.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of. You have people who care about you now, people who consider you family. Even if you are physically alone, you will never truly be alone." Hijikata-san said with his hands running though my hair as he embraced me in a loving hug.

I had always known that the words that he had spoken were true, but the gravity of those words never truly hit me until Hijikata-san said them. To me, his words were like a magic spell that released me from a terrible curse.

"Never?" I asked with my face still buried against his chest.

"Never." Hijikata-san said with soft ferocity.

And at that moment, it felt like my monophobia was leaving my body through the tears that spilled out of my eyes. The unbearable fear, the shame, everything that once held me back and paralyzed me started to slowly leave through my tears. I stayed in that position that entire night and let the tears flow until I had no more left. Hijikata-san truly was a wonderful person and I was glad that he had come into my life.

* * *

[1] A two hour period that is roughly from 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"But man is not made for defeat… A man can be destroyed but not defeated."― Ernest Hemingway, _The Old Man and the Sea_

"So how does it look?" Otou-san asked while standing behind me as I sat at a table pouring over the accounting books.

If Otou-san was going to take over the dojo next year when Shuusai-sensei retired then Otou-san would have to be familiar with all the aspects of the dojo, including the financial aspect. The master of the dojo needed to know more than just how to swing his sword. Although, I do question why Otou-san grabbed me to help him look over the accounting books rather than Hijikata-san. While I was smart, I believed Hijikata-san was more qualified to help Otou-san with the finances. Hijikata-san was the one that had an apprenticeship with a successful merchant. He would know how to better take care of finances.

"It doesn't look good." I sighed as I skimmed through the pages. "If we assume that the amount of income the dojo produces continues to drop at the same rate as it is now then we might be able to keep the dojo open for another eight years. However, knowing how unstable the economy is right now, it's logical to assume that the situation will become worse. In reality, we might have to close down the dojo in less than half of the predicted amount of time."

Otou-san grew discouraged at my words before he began pacing in the room. "There must be something we can do. Did you try reallocating our spending into different areas?" he asked while walking in worried circles.

"I already tried that. The results are about the same." I said as I stopped flipping through the pages of the accounting books. "I also tried calculating the number of years we would have left if we made cuts to certain areas, but we would only end up prolonging the survival of the dojo by another half year."

"Erk!" Otou-san gagged as he stopped pacing. "Is it our financial situation that bad? There must be something we can do to bring in more money. How about if we—"

Otou-san suddenly stopped speaking when he heard depressed sounding footsteps coming down the hall and towards this room. As we both turned around, we saw Hijikata-san and Souji stalk into the room.

"I thought the both of you were helping Tsune cook lunch." Otou-san asked as both men sat down on the floor cushions. Ever since Otou-san married Tsune-san, Tsune-san took over cooking all the meal with usually only me as her assistant. There were no more taking turns when it came to cooking.

"It's Hijikata-san's fault," Souji immediately opened his mouth to blame Hijikata-san. "Hijikata-san is so terrible at cooking that Tsune-san banned him from the kitchen before kicking us both out. Now that lunch has been ruined, we need to go out and buy new groceries before lunch can be remade."

"Your cooking is pretty terrible too!" Hijikata-san snapped back. "I'm not the only one Tsune-san kicked out of the kitchen."

"But you were the only one she banned." Souji pointed out logically with a frown.

"Wait, so," I interrupted, "now we have to go out to spend more money for food when we can't afford to?"

An uncomfortable silence settled in the room before I turned to Otou-san. "Maybe it's a good thing that Hijikata-san got banned from the kitchen. We can't afford to keep having to replace ruined food."

"H-hey!" Hijikata-san stammered, trying to defend himself before he just slumped forwards in defeat.

I sighed before I stood up from my seat. "I'll go see what Tsune-san needs to be replaced before going to the market. Hijikata-san, why don't you do what you're good at and help Otou-san look over the accounting books." I said before I left for the kitchen.

"Tsune-san," I called out as I entered the kitchen. "What did those two ruin. I'll run out to the market to buy some replacement groceries."

Tsune-san was standing by a pan wearing a perplexed expression while staring at the…burnt lump of something sitting in the pan. Whatever that thing in the pan was, it was no longer recognizable.

"Oh! Shizuka-chan!" she exclaimed after she noticed me. "Do you think you can run to the marketplace and buy three mackerels and a jar of mirin[1]? I'm afraid that this dish is no longer salvageable and will need to be replaced."

Wait…that was fish?! Just what the hell did Hijikata-san and Souji do to turn fish into that?! Actually, no. I'm pretty sure Souji wasn't at fault here. Souji was bad at cooking, but that was just because he never put the right amount of seasoning or the right type of seasoning. Hijikata-san, on the other hand, was just terrible at everything that involved food other than eating.

"… Okay…" I said while staring at the blackened lump, "I'll be back as soon as possible?"

Tsune-san nodded and sent me off with some money for the replacement groceries. As I was walking to the marketplace, I couldn't stop my mind from wandering back to that blackened lump of charred fish. When I first saw that what Hijikata-san did to the fish I was borderline horrified at what he was able to do to edible food, but now I was kind of impressed. It took a lot to make raw fish look like a lump of black charcoal and Hijikata-san managed to do that in a matter minutes. While my mind was wandering I wasn't really paying attention to where I was walking and that resulted in me slamming into someone's backside. Since the road was an uneven dirt road, I easily lost balance and ungracefully fell on my butt.

"Ouch!" I cried when I scrapped up the palm of my left hand on the floor when I tried and failed to catch myself.

"Hey! Watch…where you're going?" A boy—no, a young man with teal eyes and long untamable, brown hair in a high ponytail said as he spotted me on the floor. He must have been the one I ran into. Oops. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked with concern prevalent in his eyes before he offered me his hand.

I took his hand with my uninjured hand and bowed apologetically for running into him. "I'm sorry for running into you. I wasn't looking where I was going."

"You should be a bit more careful, little girl," the teal-eyed man said to me as he pat my head like I was some little kid. "Some people aren't as understanding as I am."

Okay, seriously? So I knew that I wasn't the tallest person in the world but I still wasn't that short. I was now 4′4″ so I really should have been called shorty rather than a little girl. Plus, if this guy hand looked down about six inches then he would have noticed that I had breasts. Sure, they weren't the largest in the world, but I wasn't flat-chested either. I should have been past the stage of being called "little girl". Whoever this guy was, he certainly had a terribly eye for the female sex.

"Shouldn't you be with your parents? Do you need help?" he asked as he continued to irritably treat me like a little girl.

Being extremely unhappy with the way he was speaking down to me, I put my hands on my hip while giving him a displeased look. He seemed extremely surprised my attitude towards him.

"Hey, what's with that frown? I'm the one trying to help you when I should be mad at you for running into me in the first place." he pointed out as he prepared to scold me. "You should be more polite your elders."

"You know, if you looked down from my eyes about six inches or so then you'll notice something important." I returned fire with a scowl. Did this guy have some eye problems?

At my words, the young man followed my advice and shifted his eyes down about six inches before he flushed a bright, cherry red color all the way up to the tips his ears. "Wah!" he spluttered out as he attempted to correct his offense. "I'm so sorry! It's just that you're so short. I-I mean—"

I just let out a tired sigh at his floundering before I put him out of his misery. "It's fine." I said as I raised both of my hands in front of me in a stop gesture while giving him a kind smile. "It's not like you were trying to offend me. Just for future reference, be a bit more observant of the person you're speaking to, okay?"

"I-I got it! Sorry!" he said as he bowed several times to me in a clumsy apology, but as he was raising his head from the last bow, his eye grew wide when he saw the small bloody scrap on my injured palm. "Gah! I'm such a clumsy idiot! You did get injured when you fell earlier!"

"It's nothing serious," I said as I brought my hands back to scan my injured palm, "I think." The last part of my statement really took the strength out of the first part. I should probably stop thinking out loud.

"Wait. What do you mean by 'I think'?" I asked while looking at me like I was some alien from outer space. "I didn't mean to make you hurt yourself, but the injury is just a small scrap. It should be nothing serious, right?"

"Well, theoretically it should be nothing serious and all I really need to do is clean it and wrap it, but dirt carries Clostridium botulinum bacteria which causes botulism." I said out loud without really thinking about what I was saying.

"Wait! W-What is botulaism?" he asked as he started to descend into a panic. Yeah, I should definitely stop thinking out loud. It caused people to panic needlessly.

"It's pronounced as bot∙u∙lism." I corrected him. "Botulism is a rare but serious paralytic illness caused by a nerve toxin that is produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum and sometimes by strains of Clostridium butyricum and Clostridium baratii.[2]"

"N-Nerve toxin!" he cried in a panic as he began pulling on his hair in stress. "I've killed someone! I killed someone by knocking them down! How does someone kill another person by knocking them down?!"

"Relax." I said at an attempt to calm him down. "Wound botulism is pretty rare, so I doubt I have it. I was just thinking out loud."

"B-But…"

"It's fine." I said firmly once again to get him to stop panicking. "I just need to clean this scrap and wrap it before I do anything else to prevent it from becoming infected."

"I-I got!" the teal-eyed young man suddenly exclaimed. "Stay here! I'll be back!" Then he disappeared in a cloud of dust.

"…"

I had some grocery shopping to finish and it had to be done so we could have lunch back at the dojo. I didn't want to be the cause of a late lunch, but the young man I ran into just seemed like he really wanted to do something to make my small scrap better and I knew he would probably be fairly upset if I just walked off while he was gone. Since the young man seemed pretty upset that I was hurt I decided it would be better for him if I waited here for him to return. It didn't take too long for the young man to return. In another cloud of dust, the young man reappeared with a small, earthen saké flask in one hand and a bandage in the other.

"Where did you get the alcohol from?" I questioned him when he reappeared in front of me. It didn't take him too long to find some alcohol and it almost looked like he filched the flask from some nearby restaurant.

"Er…" he started before saying firmly, "That's not really important! Here, follow me."

He quickly led me off the road and to the side where there was a small bench nearby. He gestured for me to sit on the bench and give him my injured hand. Since he was kindly going through all this trouble for such a simple cut I got from not looking where I was going, I went ahead and followed his instructions without being difficult. He was rash guy, but he was really nice.

"This might sting a bit, but it'll clean your cut." he said gently as he carefully took my injured hand in to his before he slowly poured small amounts of the alcohol on the palm hand.

I winced at bit at the sting, but didn't really do anything else as I allowed him to take care of my wound. "You didn't need to go through all that trouble since it was actually my own fault I got hurt, but thank you." I said as he started to bandage my wound after it was cleaned thoroughly.

"It's not completely your fault." the young man said as he smiled brightly at me. "If I was looking were I was going myself then I would have moved out of the way once I noticed you. So, why are you out here by yourself?"

"Oh! I was going to buy replacement groceries for to replace the food that was ruined back at the dojo I live at." I answered back cheerfully at his smile. His happy attitude was really contagious. He just seemed to have a friendly attitude that drew people closer. I liked him.

"Then why don't I go with you?" he offered kindly. "You did injure your hand. I can help you carry the groceries back."

"Are you sure? You don't have to if you don't want to."

"No, I want to." he insisted with visible determination. Once I saw his face I just couldn't turn him down.

"Okay then." I nodded in agreement. "What's your name? We never did introduce ourselves to each other. My name is Kondou Shizuka."

"Oh! I'm Toudou Heisuke! It's nice to meet ya!" he introduced himself with a giant grin.

"It's a pleasure to meet you to, Toudou-san." I responded politely with a miniature bow. Once I completed my bow, I stood back up from my seat on the bench. "Let's go, shall we?" I asked before I began walking towards the market again. The young man quickly jogged up to me to before he began walking next to me.

"Just call me Heisuke. Almost everyone I know just calls me that, plus we're about the same age… I think?" He looked at me inquisitively towards the end as his sentence became a question.

"I'm fourteen, if it helps." I said, offering my age. "I'm just short."

"Then we're the same age." He concluded before asking me, "So what did you need to buy from the market?"

"I need to buy some mackerel and a jar of mirin for the dojo I live at." I replied as I counted off what I needed with my fingers.

"Oh yeah, you said you lived at a dojo." he stated as he looked at me with growing curiosity. "What's the dojo's name?"

"I live at Shieikan Hall. Otou-san's going to inherit the dojo next year."

"Is your otou-san strong?" Heisuke asked as he became more curious.

"I believe so. I've never seen him lose to anyone. Why are you asking?"

"I have a sempai back at the dojo I live at whose going around challenging other dojos right now." He explained as we arrived at the market.

"Then you should tell him about Shieikan. I'm sure Otou-san would love to have a challenger right now." I told him. Maybe this challenge could bring some much need money to the dojo. "Hey, let's go over there, that stall is selling fish." I pointed to a stall with fresh fish.

"So," I continued as we walked towards the stall. If Otou-san was to receive a challenger, then it would be a good idea to gather some information about his opponent's fighting style. "What style do you learn at your dojo?"

"Hm? Oh! We use the Hokushin Ittō-ryū style back at the dojo. What about at your dojo?"

"Hmm…? Oh, our dojo uses the Tennen Rishin-ryū style." I answered him before I turned to observe the fish at the stall. "Hmm…that one looks good…and so do those six… Heisuke, which mackerels do you think I should get?"

"Huh? Oh…umm…" he said as he quickly skimmed over the fish before he haphazardly pointed to the fish in the corner. "That one?"

"Why that one?" I asked as I cringed at the one he pointed at. That fish looked like it was the oldest one at the stall, plus it wasn't even a mackerel. It was a sardine.

"Uhh… It looks different?" he said while scratching the top of his head. "Err… Look, I've never been very good at picking fresh ingredients from the market. The other pupils at the dojo I live at are always complaining that I buy crappy fish."

Well, that explains why he randomly chose the worst fish at the stall. The sardine he pointed at had cloudy eyes, a foul odor, and the flesh looked dull and loose, all telltale signs of a fish that has been dead for a while. But I smiled at his honesty. Most people would try to come up with excuses, but he was honest, a good trait.

"D-Don't laugh!" he quickly defended himself with a faint blush when he misunderstood why I was smiling.

"I'm not going to laugh." I said as I poked his cheek playfully. "I was smiling at your honesty. I like it. It's a good trait to have."

"You do…? I mean—of course being honest is a good thing!" he lightened up and boasted loudly as soon as he recovered from his misunderstanding. I couldn't help but giggle this time at his silly antics.

"Alright," I said with a giggle, "why don't I teach how to identify fresh fish so the other pupils at your dojo have nothing to complain anymore? Deal?"

Heisuke nodded vigorously with an excited grin on his face as he moved closer to me so he could pay closer attention to the details I was going to tell and show him. One I knew I had his full attention, I directed his gaze to one of the fresh mackerel I was inspecting earlier.

"See that fish?" I pointed to the mackerel.

"Uh huh." he answered as he nodded energetically.

"That mackerel is still fairly fresh. If you look at the fish's eyes then you'll see that they're unclouded. If you see a fish with cloudy, unclear eyes then you should know that fish has already been there for a while."

"Uh huh, uh huh."

"Then look at the flesh of the fish. Compare this fish with the one you just pointed at. What's the difference between those two fish?"

"Well…" he said as he examined the two fish a bit more closely. "The one you chose is shinier than the one I pointed to a bit earlier."

"Yup. You have a good eye." I complemented him before I continued. "Other than being shiny, the flesh of the fish should bounce back when touched. Go ahead and poke the fish to feel the difference."

"Okay..." he said as he reached out to poke the fresh mackerel first, "this one has firm flesh… Now let's see the other one… ERK! My finger just sank right into that one!"

"That's because that fish is so old that it's starting to fall apart." I said as I reached into my sleeve and pulled out a clean handkerchief to give to him. "Here, you can wipe your hands on this."

"Oh, thanks." Heisuke said as he graciously accepted the handkerchief from me and wiped his hands.

"Okay, now the third thing is the fish's smell. If the fish still smells like the ocean then it's pretty fresh, but if it gives off that fishy smell then you know that fish has been sitting there for a while. Got it?"

"Hee!" he smiled cheerfully. "Got it! Now I won't be buying anymore crappy fish for the others to complain about."

"It's a good feeling, right?" I smiled back before I turned to the fishmonger. "I'll take those three mackerels please."

The fishmonger nodded as he quickly pulled the three fish I pointed at out of the boxes before he wrapped them in paper and held them out for me to take. Heisuke reached out to take the fishes for me while I paid for the fishes before we left to go find a store that sold mirin. After we bought all the needed groceries, Heisuke carried all the groceries while walking me back home.

"Thank you again for helping me today." I politely thanked Heisuke again with a bow at the front gates of the dojo before I took my groceries off of his hands. "You have been very helpful."

"Ah," he said while rubbing the back of his head with a happy grin, "there's nothing you need to thank me for. It's always nice to spend time with a pretty girl. Oh yeah, what about—"

"Hmm…? Who's this?" a familiar voice interrupted Heisuke. I turned around to see Souji approaching us while looking a bit annoyed.

"Oh, Souji." I smiled as I greeted him. "Sorry for taking so long."

Souji smiled back at me as he took the groceries off my hands before he regarded Heisuke with a slight frown. "What took you so long?" Souji asked me softly. "I was about to go out looking for you."

"Oh, I fell earlier and scraped the palm of my hand." I said as I showed Souji my bandaged hand. There was no need to tell Souji that I fell because I bumped into Heisuke. I didn't want him to maul Heisuke for the accidental injury. "He helped me clean and bandage my cut, then he helped me carry the groceries back."

"Hmm…" Souji said as he processed my words.

"Anyways, thanks again." I said to Heisuke once I turned to face him again.

"No problem. And about your handkerchief…" Heisuke said.

"Handkerchief…?" Souji muttered almost inaudibly quietly under his breath.

"Don't worry about it." I assured Heisuke. "Just make sure you bring your sempai over here tomorrow, okay?"

"Right!" he said with a nod before he ran off while waving me good-bye.

"Handkerchief…? Did something else happen while you were at the market?" Souji asked me with a slight frown after Heisuke disappeared.

"It's nothing. He just got his hand a bit dirty. Now let's go inside."

The next day, Otou-san received the challenger that I was anticipating.

"My name is Sannan Keisuke and this is my peer, Toudou Heisuke. Don't pay too much attention to Toudou-kun's young age, he is just as skilled as I am." Sannan-san introduced himself and then Heisuke before he presented his challenge. "I am here to test my skill with a blade and Toudou-kun here told me the heir of this dojo is incredibly strong. Please accept my challenge." Sannan-san said politely with a bow.

"It'll be my pleasure." Otou-san replied mirthfully as he bowed back to Sannan-san with respect before suggesting to Hijikata-san, "Toshi, why don't you be the referee for this match."

"Alright." Hijikata-san answered before he directed everyone to the main practice hall in the dojo.

Everyone moved to get into position in the main practice hall of the dojo as preparation for the challenge began. Souji, Heisuke, and I moved to the side of the room to get out of the way as Otou-san and Sannan-san moved towards the center. Both men got into their different positions and Hijikata-san began the match.

"Begin!" yelled Hijikata-san.

Sannan-san moved first and immediately aimed for Otou-san's right wrist. True to what was said about the Hokushin Ittō-ryū style, the attack was fast and no unnecessary movements were made. However, it didn't matter how fast the attack was. Otou-san read Sannan-san's move the moment Sannan-san lunged forward. The blow was parried and rendered useless as the two bokken became locked together.

"You're extremely skilled, Sannan-san." Otou-san complemented Sannan-san as he pushed hard against the opposite bokken. "That attack was one of the fastest strikes I have ever seen."

"You're also extremely skilled as well, Kondou-san" Sannan-san complimented Otou-san back. "It's not often I come across an opponent that can read my moves so well and so quickly."

Both men quickly pushed each other off their wooden blades before they pulled back and clashed again. The second time their swords clashed, they ended up in the same deadlock as before.

"Your chichi is strong, but there's no way Sannan-san'll lose." Heisuke said to me confidently as we watched from the sidelines.

"You sure about that?" Souji fired back before I could speak. "Kondou-san hasn't lost before and he won't start losing here either."

"Shh!" I hushed the two men as I kept my eyes on the match. "Watch the match first then brag later."

Then the match was over in an instant. Otou-san gave his push one more surge of strength and knocked Sannan-san off balance for a second. Within that single second that Sannan-san was off balanced, Otou-san lunged forward and delivered one powerful blow under Sannan-san's guard and to his lower right abdomen. Sannan-san tumbled to the floor at the force that was delivered in that blow.

"One hit!" Hijikata-san yelled ending the match.

"I can't believe it..." Heisuke said in silent disbelief. "This is the first time I've seen Sannan-san lose like this."

"Of course Sannan-san lost." Souji continued his bragging from earlier to Heisuke. "There's no one I know that is stronger than Kondou-san."

Otou-san then lowered his wooden sword and approached Sannan-san to offer him a helping hand. Sannan-san glanced at the outreached hand with surprise before he smiled in defeat and accepted Otou-san's hand.

"That was an excellent match." Otou-san said in the spirit of good sportsmanship. "It's been a while since I've faced an opponent as talented and skilled as you, Sannan-san."

"Indeed that was a good match." Sannan-san replied, not seeming even a little upset at his defeat. "It has been awhile since I lost to anyone like that. Perhaps it is time to retrain myself at a different dojo. From now on, please accept me as a new live-in student at this dojo."

Well, I didn't expect that to happen. Just only if this dojo could just continue getting new disciples in this manner then maybe we wouldn't have to worry so much about our financial situation.

"Wait!" Heisuke cried out from next to me and Souji "If Sannan-san thinks it's time to join a new dojo, then I'll come along too! To become stronger a person needs to surround himself with strong people, right?"

"Hahaha! The more the merrier!" Otou-san exclaimed in good cheer as he accepted one new student and one guest.

And so, the year 1860 came to an end as Shieikan gained one new student and a guest among the loss of so many other students.

* * *

[1] Mirin (味醂 or みりん) is an essential condiment used in Japanese cuisine. It is a type of rice wine similar to saké, but with a lower alcohol content and higher sugar content. The sugar content is a complex carbohydrate formed naturally via the fermentation process; it is not refined sugar. The alcohol content is further lowered when the liquid is heated.

[2] CDC Botulism


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"How can one be well...when one suffers morally?"― Leo Tolstoy, _War and Peace_

I was powerful. I was a predator stalking its prey. I was an adult in the body of a teenager who hadn't had a sip of alcohol since weeks before my death in my past life and I craved the sweet taste alcohol more than ever now. Fifteen years was far too long to go without alcohol. One would think because I died in my past life from a drunk driver that I would lose my appetite for alcohol but that was not the case. In the end, it was the drunk driver that killed me, not the actual alcohol. I waited and watched from my hiding spot as everyone left the kitchen. Now all I had to do was quietly steal the saké from the shelf on the left side of—

"Hey, Shizuka-chan! Huh? What are you doing?" someone said next to my ear, scaring me out of my skin.

"Gah!" I yelped as I fell over in surprise before lamenting over my failure. Heisuke was standing behind me wearing a bewildered look on his face. I could have sworn that there was no one around. How did I miss Heisuke? He wasn't exactly the quietest person in the world.

Whereas once the students of this dojo thought I was a myth because of my ability to go unnoticed, nowadays everyone knew who I was. I always thought that the ability to go unnoticed was a useful skill so when I was younger I didn't really care if people never really noticed me as long as I could turn this ability on and off at will. However, as Souji became more notorious among his peers in the dojo for his talent with a sword, I became more visible since I was Souji's preferred company and was practically his shadow. Despite becoming more visible, I could still go unnoticed if I wanted to. Well, at least I use to. That completely changed three weeks ago, all because of Sannan-san.

It was my day to go grocery shopping about three weeks ago. The dojo was running low on money again, so I decided to skip out on buying some pork and only bought some vegetables. Dinner was served that night with no fish or meat. Nobody complained at the lack of meat or fish, but I did receive a particularly nasty look from Sannan-san that seemed to promise retribution. I found out later that Sannan-san was promised pork that night. Since then, I seem to lose my ability to move around unseen and often got caught by Hijikata-san when I was doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing. I had no idea how Sannan-san was doing this, so I went to confront Sannan-san to demand how he managed to dispose of my cloaking ability.

"Hmm? What ability?" was all Sannan-san said to me with a kind smile as he pat my head.

I learned that day that Sannan-san was not a man to trifle with, even if it was on accident. He was, by far, the most terrifying and cunning man I have ever met. Making the impossible happen was his hobby and he never failed.

"Shizuka-chan, can you hear me?" Heisuke poked the side of my head as I continued sitting on the floor, internally crying over the loss chance at a taste of heaven. "Shizuka-chan?"

No, I was not going to be deterred from my original goal. I was so close now, but how was I going to get the saké with Heisuke here? He knew I wasn't allowed to drink yet despite being considered an adult now by this era's standards. Oh! Perhaps I could blackmail him into helping and make him an accomplice? This way he would be enticed to help me and once he helped me then he couldn't rat me out without being punished along with me. Haha! The perfect solution.

"Hey, want to help me with something, Heisuke?" I asked as I turned to him with a mischievous smile.

"Huh?" Heisuke said at my sudden change in behavior. "Help with what?"

"You see that jar of saké on that shelf over there? I'm too short and I can't reach it by myself." I pointed at the jar on top of the left shelf. "I need you to go get it for me." I said while being completely vague about what I needed the saké for. For all he knew, I could have needed to use the saké as an antiseptic for some open wound.

"Why do you need saké? You don't look like you have a cut you need to use it on. Is someone injured…? Wait…" Heisuke asked before he put two and two together. "Are you trying to sneak a drink of saké?! You are! But you're a girl! Hijikata-san and Kondou-san'll get mad!"

"They won't get made if they don't find out." I pointed out with cheerful helpfulness. "You can have some too."

"You can't bribe me!" Heisuke exclaimed while standing firm. "I'm allowed to drink alcohol in moderation, so I don't have to sneak around to get some alcohol."

"So you're going to play it that way? Fine, have it your way." I said before a smirked started growing on my face as I prepared to leave the kitchen. "I'll just go tell Souji that Heisuke's bullying me. Who knows what'll happen then."

Before I could make it one step on out of my hiding spot in the kitchen, Heisuke started flailing in a panic as he tried to keep me from finding Souji.

"Wah! You can't do that! It's not fair!" Heisuke cried before he grabbed my shoulders to keep me in place. "Souji will totally do something nasty to me!"

"Oh? Then you'll help me?" I smiled gleefully as I slowly turned around to face him again. That way too easy.

"Ahh... I'm totally going to regret this, aren't I?" he sighed as he resigned to his fate. "Shizuka-chan really plays unfairly…"

"Oh come on! It'll be fun!" I said cheerfully in response. Heisuke looked at me wearily through the corner of his eye. He didn't believe me at all. I had gotten him into trouble too many times already.

"Okay..." he said hesitantly before he turned to face our target.

As quietly as we could, both of us crept into the kitchen on the tip of our toes. So far so good. There was no one in sight and just as Heisuke's fingertips lightly brushed against the bottom of the earthen saké jar, a furious sounding voice cut into the tense silence of the once clear kitchen.

"Just what are you two doing?" Hijikata-san snapped with a loud stern voice.

I turned my head immediately to the source of the sound to see Hijikata-san looking just as mad as he sounded. I blinked at Hijikata-san to fake innocence, but he didn't buy it. He just glared at me with more intensity. Oops, we've been caught and it looked like there was no way we were going to wiggle out of punishment this time. Unlike me, Heisuke turned his head slowly towards Hijikata-san and once his eyes landed on the angry man, Heisuke turned as pale as a sheet. Heisuke then jumped as far as way as he could possibly get from the saké jar with a single leap.

"I-I—Er…we…" Heisuke stumbled over his own words clumsily before his hand suddenly shot up to point at me. "IT WAS HER IDEA! SHE BLACKMAILED ME!"

"I did." I admitted cheerfully. "But it doesn't matter that I blackmailed you. You still didn't have to help me, so you're still guilty. You're my accomplice." If I wasn't allowed to drink alcohol then I could at least still have some fun by getting Heisuke in trouble with me. I don't know why, but there was just some strange novelty in getting into trouble with Heisuke, especially if Hijikata-san was involved.

"HEISUKE!" Hijikata-san finally erupted before he went up to Heisuke and bashed him on the head. "You know better than to listen to Shizuka when she is about to break some rules!"

Heisuke could only wince and flounder about while cradling the large bump forming on the top of his head as Hijikata-san continued to yell and scold him.

"Though to be fair, I can be very convincing." I cut in to Hijikata-san's scolding without sounding sorry at all. Hijikata-san slapped his own forehead in irritation before he plucked me off the ground by the scruff of my kimono with a single, jerky motion.

"It's like you live to irritate me sometimes." Hijikata-san growled to me before he began hauling me away. Before he completely left the kitchen, he paused to call back to Heisuke. "You're coming too! Or do I have to drag you away like I have to with Shizuka?"

And with that, both Heisuke and I were tossed into an empty room so we could have some time to reflect on our actions. That was fun. Next time I should go grab Souji too. I know he'd enjoy annoying Hijikata-san too.

* * *

"'It'll be fun,' she says." Heisuke grumbled while we were supposed to be reflecting on our actions.

"But it was." I rebutted innocently while not feeling the least bit guilty.

"Gah! Just what is your definition of fun?" he asked as he grabbed his head with both his hands in frustration. He looked about ready to start pulling out his hair.

"You know, fun." I said with a bubbly voice while remaining just as unhelpful as ever.

"That totally didn't clarify anything!"

"I know." I replied without losing any of my irritating bounciness.

Heisuke hung his head in defeat at my statement and we both fell silent afterwards. Heisuke was actually taking this time to reflect on his action while I, on the other hand, wasn't. It's not like I didn't know what I did wrong. I did everything on purpose. I took this time to plan on how to annoy Hijikata-san a bit more after I got out of my little "time out" instead. Hmm…maybe Souji was a bad influence on me. We both had the same sense of "fun". Both Heisuke and I weren't sitting in the room for long before we heard a distressed cry for help coming from outside of the dojo.

"Somebody! Anybody! Please help me! Please!" came a man's teary wail from the street in front of the dojo. The man sounded absolutely desperate as he continued wail outside.

Heisuke and I both looked at each other before we both shot out the door. A cried that desperate sounding… This wasn't the time to sit around. It appeared that Heisuke and I weren't the only ones with that same idea. Everyone in the dojo, along with the other people living on the same street rushed outside to see what the cause of the wailing was. When everyone emerged from their homes, they were greeted with a gruesome sight. There was a young woman, probably around my age, covered in and dripping blood onto the dirt street as she was being carried in an older man's arms. The sight of the young woman in an older man's arms as he pleaded for help was a disturbing sight to others, but was a scene I had seen many times as trauma surgeon. The young woman was badly bruised on the right side of face. Her whole neck was covered in blood and a giant bruise in the shape of a handprint. She had several lacerations all over her body and a broken bone was protruding from her skin on her left leg near her ankle. Her kimono had been torn open and nearly the entire bottom of her kimono was torn off. Without most of the bottom of the kimono, her legs up to her thighs were exposed. Her thighs were covered in a mixed solution of blood, semen, and vaginal fluid. The young woman must have been brutally raped and left for dead before she was found.

"This is terrible." our next door neighbor's wife whispered to her sister-in-law while looking sick. "Do you think she was raped by that serial rapist that has been going around Edo?"

There had been a rapist on the loose in Edo now for the past four months. There was almost nothing known about person committing the crime. All that was known was that person targeted the female population, regardless of age. The youngest girl that was raped was four years old and the oldest woman was sixty-eight years old. The victims were always killed at the end or were so badly beaten that they died anyways. However, the most disturbing piece information was that the brutal rapes were always committed in broad daylight. Despite all the efforts of the authorities to capture this person, no one has even seen the person except the dead victims. There were already twenty-three known victims and now a twenty-fourth victim was added to the list. Women and girls of all ages were now suggested to never leave the house alone until the rapist was apprehended.

"Please someone help my daughter! No one is willing to even try because I have no money! All they keep saying that she will die anyways!" The man continued to cry and plead. "Please! My wife died last year! She's all I have left!"

Most people turned and went back into their homes after they saw what was causing the commotion. It wasn't like they could help the poor man and his daughter. The injuries on this young woman were severe, too severe for most people without training in medicine to help. The most that the people could offer the man was their pity and, perhaps, their sympathy.

While I was no longer a surgeon in this life, I couldn't stand around and do nothing, not while I had the knowledge and skill to operate on the young woman. She was still alive despite the abuse her body suffered. When I chose to become a surgeon in my past life, I made that decision because I wanted to help people. This young woman needed help. I never gave up on the people who came through the emergency room in my past life and I wasn't going to start now.

I lost all of my childish playfulness I had from the events before and called out to the man with deadly seriousness, "I know what to do. Bring her inside the dojo."

Everyone in my strange make-shift family froze in shock at my claim and stared at me with their jaws hanging open in disbelief. While it was not the time, I do have to say that this expression looked particularly hilarious on Sannan-san. It was just so rare to see this type of expression on his face.

"What do you think you're doing?" Hijikata-san demanded as soon as he got over his shock. "I know you're skilled at treating injuries, but this is too far out of your league. What do you think you can do?"

"Hijikata-san," I said with a mature, serious calmness, "that woman will die if she doesn't have receive an operation soon. I won't allow that to happen when I have the skills and knowledge to prevent that from happening. You may not believe me when I say I have the skills and knowledge to save her, but she will die if no one does anything right now."

Hijikata-san seemed surprised at my sudden change in attitude. There were many times when I was serious around him, but never to this extent. Since that little event after Otou-san's wedding, I mostly played the playful little sister role around Hijikata-san. He had grown so use to my childish playfulness around him that he forgot just how mature I could act sometimes.

Otou-san placed a firm hand on Hijikata-san's shoulder to snap Hijikata-san out of his surprise. "What she said is true, Toshi. If that young woman does not receive any form of treatment now she will die. Put your faith in Shizuka. I trust her and know she can save that young woman's life and you should too."

"There will be nothing for us to lose anyways if the treatment fails." Sannan-san added to Otou-san's statement. "The young woman is already on death's doorstep anyways, but it would have been better to try then to have done nothing at all."

"… Alright" Hijikata-san consented hesitantly as he shot me a short glance of worry.

"Thank you! Thank you!" the distressed father cried. As quickly as possible, we ushered the man and his daughter inside and down the hallway to an unused bedroom.

"We'll be using this room," I stated as soon as we came to the empty bedroom. "Someone bring me a large tub of hot, boiled water while someone else find several jars of alcohol to clean that table and sanitize it, I'll be operating on her on that table and it needs to be disinfected. I don't want her to develop a preventable infection from an infected operating site."

Souji ran off to fetch the alcohol I needed without hesitation while Heisuke followed Souji to the kitchen so he could boil the water that I needed.

"Then I'll need someone to run to the market to buy some mint." I ordered next. "I need the mint for the natural menthol[1] it possesses to use as the general anesthetic and someone find me some thread, preferably silk, and a needle."

Otou-san nodded before he ran off to the market to purchase the large quantities of mint required while Tsune-san went to go fetch the silk threads and needle from her sewing supplies in a nearby room. Just as Tsune-san left the room. Souji returned to the room and began disinfecting the table and the surrounding area.

"Since we don't have any scalpels, someone find me some small knives and bandages." I said next. Sannan-san went off to fulfill that request.

"Souji, are you done with the table?"

"Yeah." Souji answered as he stepped back from the table.

"Place your daughter on the table." I turned to tell the man before I addressed Hijikata-san. "Hijikata-san, can you go find an apron for me? Preferably one that has been recently washed. The cleaner the better in this case."

"Okay." Hijikata-san replied before he left the room to go fetch the clean article.

"Sir, I'll need you to back away from your daughter so I can properly examine her." I said to the man gently as I turned my focus back on him.

The man quickly followed my instructions and as soon as the young woman was on the table, I began my careful examination. I wouldn't be allowed to miss anything if the young woman was going to live. However, that was easier said than done. With the inability to order a CT scan[2] or an x-ray, it would be fairly easy to miss a potentially fatal wound that needed immediate attention. It was also difficult to monitor her vitals at the same time without many of the machines I had to work with in the future. It was a tall order to monitor her vital signs while thoroughly examining her without using a CT scan at the same time. To help myself focus on the task, I began listing my findings out loud.

"Right side of the face is severely bruised. The neck shows signs of strangulation; there are also a few superficial cuts on the right side from the perpetrator's nails. There are eleven— No, twelve laceration wounds on her body. The most serious lacerations are the two on her left shoulder and the one on her left leg. The broken bone in her left leg, just superior to her ankle, is a compound fracture. Since the bone is protruding from the skin, extra care must be given to make sure the bone doesn't develop a deep bone infection. She has a few fractured ribs, most likely three. The three fractured ribs are most likely true ribs number 5 and 6 on her right side and false rib number 9 on her left side. Patient also has a large bruise forming on her left lower quadrant[3] of her abdomen. There is also some significant swelling in the right upper quadrant[4] of the abdomen. There is more than likely some internal bleeding and the blood needs to be drained to reduce the pressure on her organs. The source of the internal bleeding will also need to be repaired by the looks of the amount swelling there is. Based on the location of the swelling, the source of the internal bleeding is most likely the spleen. The blood coming from her vagina suggests that the walls have been badly torn during the assault and will also need to be repaired." I listed off the numerous amounts of injuries just as some people started returning. Just as Sannan-san returned, I addressed him without taking my eyes off the young woman. "Sannan-san, since you don't look like you are squeamish around the operating table, I will need your assistance during the operation. I'll need everyone else to leave the room to prevent contamination before I start operating."

After I had kicked everyone that wasn't assisting me in the operation, Sannan-san and I started the long procedure of repairing the young woman's torn up body. The operation lasted nearly the entire day and by the time I emerged from the room with Sannan-san, the sun had already set hours ago. Everyone was sitting against the wall right outside the room. They must have been too anxious to eat or to do anything else but wait right outside the room.

"How is she? How is my daughter?" the young woman's father cried as he ran up to me. His concern for his daughter was still prevalent despite how exhausted he was.

"I've done all I could." I told the man. "Whether your daughter survives is now up to her, but I think she has a good chance. If she wakes up within the next twelve hours, then her chances of surviving will increase. I'll need you to monitor her for the next couple of hours and if she wakes up while you're watching her then I'll need you to come and get me, okay?"

The man nodded franticly as he tried to peer around me so he could see his daughter. Figuring that I wasn't going to be able to get him to focus on anything else right now, I gave him the go ahead to enter the room.

"You can go see her now." I said the magical words he had been waiting to hear.

When the man heard those words, he quickly ran around me and Sannan-san and rushed into the room to go hold his daughter's hand and to sit at her side. I sighed tiredly before I walked over to where Souji was sitting against the opposite wall and tiredly slumped down next to him.

"How can some people be so terrible?" I asked Souji in an exhausted whisper. I didn't really expecting an answer. I always wondered this after every operation in my past life where I received a patient that had been injured through another person's malicious intent. It was something I just couldn't wrap my mind around and it always bothered me. I believed in the good in people. It would be just too painful to believe that people were evil by nature. "How can someone look another person in the eye and see the fear and pain but still continue to hurt them? It's horrible."

Souji wrapped one arm around me and pulled me close so I could curl up against his side for the needed comfort. I tucked my face against his neck to seek as much physical contact as possible.

"I don't know." was all Souji said as he gently rested his chin on top of my head while he rubbed my back in soothing circles. Today was a long and difficult day to get through and I was thankful that Souji was here to help me unwind.

* * *

[1] Menthol is an organic compound made synthetically or obtained from corn mint, peppermint or other mint oils. It is a waxy, crystalline substance, clear or white in color, which is solid at room temperature and melts slightly above. The main form of menthol occurring in nature is (−)-menthol, which is assigned the (1R, 2S, 5R) configuration. Menthol has local anesthetic and counterirritant qualities, and it is widely used to relieve minor throat irritation. Menthol also acts as a weak kappa opioid receptor agonist.

[2] X-ray computed tomography (X-ray CT) is a technology that uses computer-processed X-rays to produce tomographic images (virtual 'slices') of specific areas of a scanned object, allowing the user to see inside the object without cutting.

[3] The left lower quadrant (LLQ) of the human abdomen is the area left of the midline and below the umbilicus. The LLQ includes the left iliac fossa and half of the left flank region.

[4] The right upper quadrant (RUQ) extends from the median plane to the right of the patient, and from the umbilical plane to the right ribcage.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." ― Khalil Gibran

When the young woman, whose name I'd discovered to be Midori, awoke within four hours after her lifesaving operation, her father was overflowing with uncontainable joy. This was the happy ending that all were hoping for and it would have been great if that happy ending stayed a happy ending. But in the imperfect reality of life, there were never truly any neat fairytale endings.

Midori had survived the brutal rape and her body was on the way to make a full recovery, but her mind would never recover. Distraught from the intense amount of shame along with suffering from acute posttraumatic stress disorder[1], she refused to give a statement to the authorities. She didn't have the strength to speak about or give any details about her rape. She just shut down whenever someone brought up the topic of rape. Without the information that only she could provide, any possibly knowledge that could have been used to capture the rapist was lost and so the rapist remained at large. One month after Midori's father took her home, the stress became too much for her to bear and she hanged herself from a wooden beam in the ceiling of her house. Her father, who was away at the market peddling wares at the time, returned home to find his dead daughter hanging from the ceiling of the house. Being unable to handle the death of his daughter, the father committed suicide with the aid of a tantō[2]. However, in his extreme grief, the poor man missed his heart when he stabbed himself in the chest and was left to bleed to death with a puncture wound to the left lobe of his lung.

However, despite the horrible outcomes of Midori and her father, I initially did manage to save Midori's life and affirm my skills and knowledge to everyone in the dojo. But the operation wasn't the best choice for the dojo at the time. In my past life as a surgeon, general anesthetic was easily available in the hospital where I worked. Here in this lifetime, anesthetic was not so readily available, so I had to extract menthol from mint. Menthol by itself is not a very power anesthetic, therefore a very potent dose of it was required for that surgery. Also, mint was not cheap. The cost of the anesthetic required for the surgery was phenomenally expensive and the dojo was poor enough as it was. Then, there were the silk threads used to suture her wounds. Silk was often used in operations where the repairs were done on a person's internal wounds because the human body has the ability to dissolve silk on its own. Therefore, sutures done in silk do not have to be manually removed. Like mint, silk was also extremely expensive. While the Midori's father did pay us what he could for our troubles, the net profit was far less than what was spent on the operation. Everyone at the dojo struggled to put food on the table for an entire month. But as unfortunate as all of these collective events were, time continued to move on.

"Are you sure we got everything this time?" Heisuke asked while he, Souji, and I were walking back home from the market one particularly drafty day. "I don't want to be whacked again by Hijikata-san if we forgot something this time."

"I'm sure. Besides, didn't you get whacked because you broke what we bought?" Souji replied dryly. "Besides, if we forgot something then Hijikata-san can go and buy it himself."

"Easy enough for you to say, you weren't the one he hit with the broom last time." Heisuke complained while looking extremely put off.

"Oh!" I exclaimed in realization. We were missing something. I'd better go get it if Heisuke didn't want to face the broom again. "We did forget something. Hijikata-san asked us to buy some ink sticks because we ran out. I'll go and buy them now. You don't have to wait for me." I told them before I ran off.

"Wait! Shizuka…!" Souji called after me but the rest of sentence was lost as I weaved my way through the loud and crowded streets of Edo.

I after I left both of the boys behind, I weaved my way back towards the market, but I only got as far as about one block before I was stopped by an elderly woman. She was small lady with a slightly hunched back, most likely caused by a case of mild osteoporosis[3], and was poorly dressed. She most likely lived in the slums of Edo.

"You look lively and springy." the old lady said after she called out to me with a feeble but kind voice, a grandmother's voice. "I need help lifting some wooden crates, but I'm afraid my poor old back can't handle it. Do you think you can help me for it bit?"

"Okay." I said as I paused in front of the elderly woman. A small act of kindness could never hurt anyone. "What do you need help with?" I was sure Souji and Heisuke would understand if they had to wait a bit longer.

"Follow me." She said as her lips morphed into a happy smile before she started to walk toward a smaller and less crowded street off to the right. "I have a few crates of fruit to carry home, but they're too heavy for my poor back to handle. I left them in a small alley before I went to go find some help." She continued speaking with her kind grandmotherly tone as she walked towards the small alley that connected to the small side street.

As I entered the alley, I was woefully prepared to be grabbed and thrown against a wall with stunning force. The impact of me hitting the nearby wall was enough to knock the breath out of me and make the world spin. I was completely stunned and dazed at what just happened. What was going on? Did I get hit by something? I didn't understand what happened. All I knew was that I was dizzy and something was very, very wrong.

"You're such a good boy. Now hurry up and make Kaa-san happy." I heard the old woman say in the background. Her voice no longer sounding kind and grandmotherly, but harsh and wicked.

What? Make Kaa-san happy? I didn't understand situation. Just who was she speaking to? I…what…?

In front of me stood a blurry image of a middle aged man that was just as poorly dressed as the old woman. He wore a vacant expression and he reeked of urine. The proportions of his face were slightly strange. I didn't know what was wrong with the man, but I did recognize that there was something wrong with this man. Due to being stunned, I could only watch the man advance on me while I laid against the wall I was thrown into in dazed confusion.

"Yes, make Kaa-san happy. I like it when Kaa-san is happy." the man said happy childlike innocence as he lumbered closer to me so he could obey his mother's wishes.

Before I could realize what was happening, the man tore open the top of my kimono with immense strength to expose my breasts. I only managed to snap my mind back into focus and begin struggling the moment I felt the man's rough hands lightly brush against the bottom of one of my breast. No…this…this couldn't being happening to me! I have to scream! I need to attract someone's attention to get help! I was not going to be the next victim. I won't allow it.

Just as I was about to scream, the old witch snapped at her son, "She's going to scream! Grab her throat!"

True to his mother's orders, the man grabbed my throat and airflow was immediately restricted. No! I wasn't going to let things end here! I already died once and I wasn't willing to die again so soon. With my intense will to survive, I clawed violently at the man's large hands, drawing blood as I shredded the skin on the man's lower arm. But soon I could only hang helplessly in his grasp as I grew weak from the lack of oxygen.

"Stupid girls and their happy lives! Why should I be the only one that had to suffer such a horrid life?!" the wicked witch spat out spitefully in my direction. "My husband left me to live in poverty because the son I gave birth to wasn't right in the head! If I can't be happy then no other girl or woman should either!"

"No, no, no! This can't be happening! I have to fight! I have to fight!" I continued chanting in my head as I managed to scrape together just enough energy to renew my struggle. However, my struggle was fruitless. The foul smelling man merely ignored me the best he could as he latched onto my breast with his revolting mouth. No! With the measly ounce of strength I had left, I clawed the man on the side of his face with my left hand just hard enough to draw blood. Flinching at the fresh wounds, the man's mouth released my breast as his other hand shot up to grab the wrist of the hand I struck him with.

CRACK!

A loud audible sound filled the air as the man grabbed the wrist of the hand I used to scratch up his face and squeezed. My left wrist had been unable to bear the crushing force and was easily fractured.

"No, don't scratch me." the man said with teary eyes as he winced at the fresh lacerations on his face. "I don't like it when it hurts."

NO, NO, NO! This couldn't be happening! I was sobbing hysterically and shaking uncontrollably by now as he released my wrist and reached for the lower part of my kimono. This was it. There was no way I could get out of this.

However, before the man could fully brush the bottom folds of my kimono aside, the man was instantly forced off of me with a loud crack. The next thing I saw was the broad back of a man with a low, messy, red ponytail as he stood between me and my assailant with a spear in his hands.

"Unless a woman gives her consent, you should keep your hands to yourself." the redhead voiced his thoughts to the man before turning to the old woman and snapping angrily, "Why were you just standing there?! Why didn't you go get help?!"

"Kaa-san, it hurts, it hurts!" the man wailed to the old woman as he rolled on the ground in pain while cradling the side of his head where he was struck by the blunt end of the spear.

"Kaa-san?" the redhead repeated after my assailant confusedly. Then in an instant, the redhead seemed to realize the man had some sort of mental illness.

"Why did you interfere?!" the old witch crowed. "This was none of your business! You should have just continued walking!"

"So you were the one who put him up to this." the redhead said darkly as he came to his conclusion. "What type of okaa-san would tell her son with a mental illness to do this?! Answer me!"

"I don't have to answer to you! Come along, Son! It's time to leave!" the witch snapped before she stomped off.

"Kaa-san, don't be mad." the man cried pitifully as he scrambled to run after his mother. "Wait for me! I don't like it when Kaa-san is mad."

"Are you alright." the redhead spoke.

I… What…? He…who…no… Get away from me... GET AWAY FROM ME! I… No! There was another man here and I couldn't let him continue with what the other man was doing to me before. I couldn't process what was happening. I didn't understand. All I remembered was that the man before was going to rape me and now there was another man standing in front of me.

"NOOOOO!" I finally screamed as I my backed into the wall to get as far away as possible. Not another one. Not another one. I need help. Somebody help me! Help me, please! Why was this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?

"Shizuka-chan!"

"Shizuka!"

There were two familiar voices in the background, but I couldn't understand what the voices were saying. I couldn't process anything anymore. I was too terrified out of my mind to think. I could only react based on what my instincts were telling me to do and they were telling me to run. Before I could actually get up and run though, redheaded man that was in front of me was then suddenly punched across the face by one of two men that arrived at the scene.

"What the fuck did you do to her?!"

"What the hell was that for?! I was the one that saved her!"

No… there were more of them? I had to get out of here, I needed to find somewhere safe…but where…where is safe? Souji… Otou-san… Hijikata-san…they were safe… I had to get to them somehow… There were words in the background, but I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't understand anything. I needed to get out of here. I needed to find somewhere safe.

"Shizuka-chan, are you okay?"

The shorter, teal-eyed man that came with the man the punched the redhead crouched down beside to me and was speaking. God, no... Why was there another one so close to me? Leave me alone...leave me alone…LEAVE ME ALONE! What did I do to deserve this?

"Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone." I choked out as a pathetic sob as I continued quivering. It felt so cold… Why did it feel so cold…?

"Souji! She doesn't recognize me! I can't calm her down! She's hyperventilating!"

"I'll kill whoever did this! Move! Let me try!"

Suddenly, I feel warm, firm, hands on my shoulders before green eyes that I knew so well came into view. I recognized those eyes. Those eyes signaled to me that I was safe. Those were the same green eyes that could always calm me down. They were the same green eyes I knew since I was a child. It was Souji. Everything was going to be okay.

"S-Souji." I sobbed in a broken voice. He was here. I was safe. He could protect me.

"Shhh. You're okay. You're safe." He whispered into my ear as he hugged me.

"I-I was s-so s-scared." I sobbed into his chest as I immediately latched on to him tightly. "D-Don't l-leave me…"

"We'll get you home and fix your wrist." he said softly as he gently took my fractured wrist into his hand so he could examine it. "You're safe now. You're safe."

Stepping away from me shortly, Souji untied his outer layer of clothing and draped it around so it would cover my improperly exposed skin before he bent down and picked me up. I spent the whole journey back home tucked safely away in Souji's arms and with my face buried against his chest.

* * *

I hid under the blankets of my futon in the darkness of my room. After my wrist had been set and bandaged, I disappeared into my room and out of sight. I just felt so disgusting, dirty…I couldn't bear to be in the public where everyone could see my unworthiness. I was a waste of space. It was my fault that I was sexually assaulted by that man. I couldn't let anyone see me and my filthiness. I wanted to disappear.

"Did you hear anything on the people who did this?" Someone spoke outside my depressing room.

"The authorities captured both of them, thanks to Harada-san's description. Those two were the ones responsible for the series of rapes in Edo for the past couple of months."

"No, I just did what any decent person would have done if they were in my place. I didn't do anything noteworthy."

"Don't discredit yourself! If it weren't for you…my little Shizu-chan… It's just too terrible to think what would have happened…"

"Yeah! We were really lucky Sano-san was there! But still, what type of horrible people would go around doing something like this?"

CRASH!

Something was thrown against the wall outside before it hit the ground in pieces.

"DAMN IT! Why did this have to happen?! Why did this happen?!"

"Souji! Calm down! Shizuka's resting right now and shouldn't be awakened!"

"Calm down? Calm down?! How can I calm down after what just happened?! Why don't you tell how the fuck do I calm down after something like this, Hijikata-san?! You didn't see what she was like right after the attack! Don't you fucking dare tell me to calm down!"

There were some harsh stomping sounds as the person who just had that outburst stormed away.

"Souji!"

"Kondou-san, let him go. He needs to calm down by himself."

Everyone…everyone was worried about me, but I couldn't go outside. I couldn't let them see how filthy I was. This filth was disgusting. I hated that old hag and her son for doing this to me, but as much as I hated my assailants, there was no one I hated more at that moment than myself for letting this happen. So I did the only thing I could and curled up into a ball under the blankets and cried myself to sleep.

* * *

I've been hiding in my room now for a month now. I only left the room to get the essentials when I was absolutely sure no one would see me. I still hated being alone, but I couldn't stand to let the others see me. I was filthy. I was a worthless waste of space. I didn't deserve to take up the time of other people.

"Shizu-chan, will you come out today? Please? Everyone misses you." Otou-san pleaded from the behind closed doors of my self-imposed prison. "Nobody's the same when you're not around. Souji especially has a shorter temper these days when his partner isn't around."

Every day, someone would come to the door to beg me to leave my room, but I couldn't. I didn't want to waste anyone's time. I had invisible chains that held me in place and kept me prisoner in my own mind.

It was the Hour of the Dog and I was sure everyone was eating dinner at the current moment. I was sure that I would be able to sneak into the kitchen to find some food right now. I silently nudged the door of my room open to sneak a peek. No one was around. As I crept out of my bedroom like a mouse, a new voice, one that I had never heard before, froze me in place.

"I thought I'd seen everyone that lived in this dojo, but I ain't seen you before. You're pretty cute! What's your name?" A brown-haired man with a green bandana tied his head asked with an eager grin as he approached me from the side.

Panic crept into my veins as I remained frozen in place. Who was this man? I had never seen him before. He…he wasn't dangerous, was he?

"Eh? You okay?" the strange, new man asked me when I froze.

"Shinpachi, what are you doing?" the same red-haired man from before, Harada I believed, asked the new man as he approached us from the behind. What was he still doing here? I thought that he would have left after saving me from my would-be-rapist from a month ago.

"Oh?" Harada said while offering me a kind, brotherly smile when he saw me standing in front of the new man. "You finally left you room."

While Harada did save me from before, I didn't know who he was. Still raw from my sexual assault, I had developed an irrational fear of unfamiliar men. But both of these men were in Otou-san's dojo, which meant Otou-san trusted them, right? If Otou-san trusted them, then that meant that I should have been able to trust them too, but I couldn't. They were new and unfamiliar, and the new and unfamiliar were terrifying right now. Unable to handle the new faces, I sank to my knees before my breaths became shallow. All of a sudden, it felt like there wasn't enough oxygen. It felt as if there was a bolder siting on my chest, intent on crushing all the life out of me.

These two men immediately leapt into action the moment I collapsed. Acting quickly, the brown-haired man grabbed my shoulder to prevent me from completely toppling over and hitting my head on the hard wooden floor.

"Shit!" Harada said in a rush as he tried to get me to take some deep breaths. "Something's wrong! She's having a panic attack[4]! Shinpachi, go find either Kondou-san, Souji, or Hijikata-san! They should be able to fix this!"

"R-right!" the man named Shinpachi exclaimed as he passed me to Harada so he could run for help.

"Breathe!" Harada tried to get me to calm down as he knelt next to me and supported me by my shoulder. "You're okay. Nobody's gonna hurt you."

Within a matter of seconds of running off to go get help, several pair of footsteps came rushing down the hall. Rather than just getting one of the people Harada had listed, this Shinpachi brought everyone running.

"Shizu-chan!" Otou-san cried in distress and ran towards me as soon as he saw me. "Everyone back up and give us some room! Shizu-chan, breathe. You're okay. You're safe."

"O-Otou-san…" I managed to say as I quivered. I quickly buried my face against his chest as he hugged me to provide comfort. I was going to be okay now that Otou-san was here. I'll be okay.

"Shh… You're okay now."

Still feeling the need to block out the outside world, I kept my face against Otou-san chest and allowed him to pick me and return me to my room. I couldn't face the others. Not yet.

* * *

"What was that about?"

People were speaking outside the closed doors of my bedroom again. Once Otou-san had returned me to my room again, I dove under the blankets and refused to show my face. After several minutes of trying to convince me to emerge from my hiding spot, Otou-san had decided that it would be better to give me some more time and space. I still wasn't ready to face the others yet.

"You don't know about this since you just got here Shinpat-san, but Shizuka-chan was nearly raped about a month ago. If Sano wasn't there then… No! I won't even think about it!"

"Wait, that's Shizuka? I thought she was just a myth."

"Shinpachi, just because you haven't seen someone doesn't me she doesn't exist. But it's just as Heisuke said, if I wasn't there then it would have ended badly."

"Hijikata-san, Kondou-san, do you think she'll ever be the same again?"

"It's hard to say, but Shizuka is a hardy person. She won't go down without a fight."

A fight? No, I was already broken, damaged goods. It was going to be impossible to fix me.

"I hope she gets well soon. We all miss her and would like her to return. Huh? Souji, what are you doing?"

A silhouette appear on the shoji door as a person stepped up to my closed door.

"She probably left the room to get something to eat. I'll bring her food myself."

"Souji, is that a good idea? You already saw how she reacted when she saw Harada and Shinpachi. It's best to just give her time and space right now."

"Hijikata-san, I know Shizuka better than you do. Don't try to lecture me on how I should approach her."

"Souji—!"

"Toshi, just let Souji try. He connects better to her even better than I do sometimes. If anyone can get through to her then it has to be Souji."

My bedroom door slide open shortly afterward and a person stepped in. The door was closed behind him and a small tray of food was placed on the floor besides the futon I was hiding in.

"Shizuka, won't you come out? Please?" the person said as he tried to coax me out from under the blankets. "It's been so long since I've seen your face. I brought you dinner. Please come out, I miss my partner."

When I didn't respond, a hand was then gently laid on my back. I flinched away from the touch under the protection of my blankets. I couldn't let him touch me, not while I was filthy. I couldn't let Souji touch me, I didn't deserve it and he deserved something better.

"This is my fault…" Souji muttered with quiet bitterness. "If I didn't let you run off by yourself…"

What? No! I couldn't let Souji blame himself. He did nothing wrong! If anything, then it would be my own fault— wait… Why would it be my fault? I didn't do anything wrong either. I wasn't asking to get sexually assaulted so why was I blaming myself? No, I will not let it end like this. I will not let Souji blame himself and I will not blame myself any longer. I had enough baggage as is and I didn't need more. I would learn how to fight to defend myself so that something like this would ever happen again. I may not be ready to face everyone yet, but I will be.

* * *

[1] Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may develop after a person is exposed to one or more traumatic events, such as major stress, sexual assault, terrorism, or other threats on a person's life. The diagnosis may be given when a group of symptoms, such as disturbing recurring flashbacks, avoidance or numbing of memories of the event, and hyper arousal, continue for more than a month after the occurrence of a traumatic event.

[2] A tantō (短刀, "short blade") is one of the traditionally made Japanese swords (nihonto) that were worn by the samurai class of feudal Japan. The tantō dates to the Heian period, when it was mainly used as a weapon but evolved in design over the years to become more ornate.

[3] Osteoporosis ("porous bones", from Greek: οστούν/ostoun meaning "bone" and πόρος/poros meaning "pore") is a progressive bone disease that is characterized by a decrease in bone mass and density which can lead to an increased risk of fracture. In osteoporosis, the bone mineral density (BMD) is reduced, bone microarchitecture deteriorates, and the amount and variety of proteins in bone are altered.

[4] Panic attacks, also known as anxiety attacks, are periods of intense fear or apprehension of sudden onset accompanied by at least four or more bodily or cognitive symptoms (such as heart palpitations, dizziness, shortness of breath, or feelings of unreality) and of variable duration from minutes to hours.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"My sun sets to rise again." ― Robert Browning

Making the decision to learn how to fight properly the night before may have seemed like it was a simple and easy decision to make to some, but to me, it was something that took great determination to do. I had never liked violence. As a trauma surgeon, I had seen too much pain and suffering as a side effect of violence. Too many people I had been unable to save. Too much damaged left behind on the living when their loved ones passed away. The patients with the mangled bodies where always the hardest to deal with. There would be people with holes blasted into their chests; people arms and/or legs that had been torn or blown off; people with crush injures so severe that they didn't even look human; burn wounds that permanently disfigured; people so severely damaged that they could no longer control their bodily secretions and leaked urine and excrement all over the hospital beds. On days some days it felt like I could never scrub all the patients' blood off of myself. Everything reeked of blood on those days. There was always so much death and blood in some cases and many were from acts of purposeful violence. No, I didn't want to be a part of the force of violence that caused all these horrendous injures, all those deaths. I became a surgeon to save lives, not to become the angel of death.

Then there were the instruments that caused these horrific wounds. In the future they were guns, explosives, chemical weapons, blunt force weapons, and even some normal household items that were misused and wielded as weapons. Just from seeing the grotesque wounds were enough to prevent me from ever wanting to hold a weapon. To me, weapons were created for one purpose, to kill. I was someone who wanted to save lives, not kill. Thus when I was reborn into this life, I had never wanted to learn how to wield the sword, the main weapon of the time, despite having ample opportunities to just for that reason. Just the thought of holding a sword alone terrified me. I had always thought: Would I one day become one of those horrible murders I so abhorred if I learned how to wield a weapon? Would I be able to handle the screams of pain as I slashed at somebody or would I break first? But now, after what I had seen, what Harada did to save me, I had an epiphany. While it was true that weapons were originally created for warfare, they could also be used to defend and protect. Items created for one purpose often evolved over time to gain many other purposes. This was true about weapons. To fight was not always to harm others. To fight was to stand up and be fearless. I wasn't going to let myself be held back by my fears, not anymore.

However, declaring that I was going to learn how to fight was far easier than the actual task, especially in a world where men were kings. While I did live in a dojo with men who were beyond skilled with the katana and were also able to teach me, that did not help me all that much. The katana was the weapon of a man and if a woman were to try to wield a katana then she would be asking for trouble. Not would it only be illegal for a woman to wield a katana, but it was also against the social norms of the time. My main purpose of learning how to fight was to be able to get out of trouble if I ever needed to, not to create situations that would get me into more trouble. Then there were the technicalities wielding a katana. If I tried to wield a katana, or any sword really, it would bring me far too close to my opponents and with my current, small 4′7″ physique… Well, it wouldn't take a genius to see that I would easily be defeated by all larger opponents. Everyone was already taller than me. Unless I planned on beating up little kids then I needed a different weapon.

Another problem with learning to wield a katana, if I was insistent on it, were the teachers. All the men I lived with were the best swordsmen I've had ever seen and they all would be willing to teach me if I asked, but I couldn't ask them to teach me kenjutsu. I couldn't face any of the men yet. I wasn't ready. I was a basket case of problems and I didn't want any of them to see my inner demons. I wanted the next time that they saw me to be when I was no longer suffering from my posttraumatic stress disorder I had developed from the sexual assault. I was determined that the next time they all saw me that I would be free from my heinous mental maladies.

So instead of using the close range katana, I needed a weapon with distance. If I could put distance between me and my opponents then physique size would matter less. With distance between me and my opponents, physical strength would matter less and the fight would become a test of skill. A gun was the first weapon that came to mind when I thought of long distance weapons, but this was nineteenth century Japan. Guns during this time period in Japan were out of date, difficult to use, impossible to hit anything with, and expensive. If I tried to fight with the average gun that was available in Japan, then it might have been equivalent to walking unarmed into a battlefield with a sign that said "stab me" attached to my back. So, a gun was not an option. I could try to learn how to wield a spear, but that would be problematic too. Women in Tokugawa Japan did not walk around with a spear just like how they didn't walk around with a katana. If I decided that I wanted to wield a spear then it would attract too much attention and most likely trouble would come along with that attention. The main purpose was to not attract trouble, but to be able to defend myself if there was any trouble. Learning how to wield a spear would not an option either. Despite the distance it offered, it would cause the same problem as a katana. My best option and the only other real choice I had left was the naginata.

The naginata was a weapon that consisted of a long, curved, katana-like blade that sat upon the sword-like hand guard on top of a long pole. The weapon was designed to serve many functions. It could be used to batter, stab or hook opponents, but due to its relatively balanced center of mass, it was often spun and turned to proscribe a large radius of reach. The curved blade the naginata possessed made it an effective tool for cutting because of its increased length of cutting surface. In the hands of a skilled wielder, one 5' tall person could theoretically cover and attack in 484 square feet of open, flat ground with a 5' shaft and a 3' blade.

The naginata was also a weapon that was socially acceptable for women in nineteenth century to carry. During the Tokugawa era, the naginata became less useful for men on the battlefield and became a symbol of the social status of women. A functional naginata was often a traditional part of a samurai daughter's dowry. Although women did not usually fight as normal soldiers, women of the samurai class were expected to be capable of defending their homes if their husbands were away at war. This weapon was considered the most suitable weapon for women to fight with because it allowed a woman to keep her opponents at a distance, where any advantages in height, weight, and upper body strength would be lessened.

Now that I had a weapon picked out, all I needed to do was find a teacher. I was fortunate enough that I lived with a person that knew how to wield a naginata. Tsune-san was a woman that was born in the warrior class and therefore was required to learn naginatajutsu[1] as a young girl. Tsune-san also had access to the naginata that was a part of her dowry, so there was already a readily available weapon to use if I ever needed to. While I couldn't face men yet, facing a woman was not quite so difficult for me.

It was the Hour of the Dragon and all the men were supposed to be occupied with whatever task they were given to complete that day. This meant that if I left my room now, there would be little to no chance of running into anyone I was not ready to see. I quickly slipped out of my room and snuck towards the kitchen where Tsune-san was mostly likely at during this time of the day. Tsune-san was in the kitchen by a large wooden tub filled with water. She was washing the dishes from this morning's breakfast. She spotted me the moment I set a toe into the room.

"Shizuka-chan!" she exclaimed in shock and worry once she saw me. She dropped everything she was holding back into the soapy tub of water and quickly ran up to me. "Are okay? Are you fine with leaving your room now?"

"No, I'm not okay with leaving my room yet." I admitted truthfully while looking away with some shame I wasn't fully able to get rid of. "But if I don't try, then I'll never be okay with leaving my room again. I don't want to live in total fear anymore. I want my freedom back."

Tsune-san blinked at my words in slight surprise as she stared openly at me. She didn't seem to quite know what to say to me at this moment. Yes, I was determined, but did I have what it takes to reclaim my freedom from the clutches of fear? Deciding that it was now or never, I presented my request to Tsune-san.

"I don't want to spend the rest of my life living in fear of what happened. I want to learn how to defend myself so that what happened to me will never happen again. Please teach me naginatajutsu!" I exclaimed boldly as I bowed deeply at the same time. There was a moment of uncomfortable silence that made me fear that Tsune-san would turn down my request.

"Are you sure about this?" She asked me with concern as she broke that uncomfortable silence. "I know you don't like weapons or fighting. I do not want you to push yourself if it is too much for you to handle."

"I don't want to be a weak person that just runs and hides at the first sight of trouble. I want to be able to go outside and speak with everyone again." I stated as I steeled myself. I had already gathered enough strength to finally leave my room and I wasn't going let all that hard work go to waste. "I don't want to worry anyone anymore. So please teach me!"

Another uncomfortable and oppressive silence fill the kitchen. This time it felt like there was a test. I could feel Tsune-san eyes scan me as she circled me like a predator would do to its prey. It was nerve-racking, but I refused to be frightened away. I needed to get past this. After seconds of this intense examination, Tsune-san nodded and shot me a confident smile.

"Very well, I will teach you. I can see your resolve, but bear in mind that I will not tolerate any slacking. When I say jump, you say, 'How high?' and when I say run, you ask, 'How far?'" Tsune-san said with a certain kind of strictness I had never heard from her before. "Understand?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed excitedly with a wide grin. Tsune-san was going to take me under her wing! "Thank you very much! I promise I will work hard!"

Tsune-san smiled at my excitement before she gently and fondly patted my cheek. "There is that smile. We've all missed your smiling face. Let us both work hard so that everyone can see it again. But for now, you need to let your wrist fully heal. I will only teach you the theories of naginatajutsu so your wrist can heal properly. We will begin the physical aspects of naginatajutsu after your fracture heals, okay?"

I nodded enthusiastically. The fracture wasn't going to take much more time to heal completely. It was only a greenstick fracture. Before I left to return to my room so that Tsune-san could focus on finishing the dishes, one last thought came to mind.

"Tsune-san?" I asked right before I exited the room. "May I ask one more thing from you?"

"Go ahead, I do not mind."

"Can I ask that you don't tell the others about my training? I don't feel ready to face everyone yet and I want to surprise them when I can see them again."

"Alright," she said as she agreed. "Now, since everyone is still busy, we will be undisturbed for a few hours. So instead of retreating to you room, why don't you pull up a stool and sit here while start explaining to you about naginatajutsu right now."

* * *

My wrist fracture healed quickly and I was ready to go within a few weeks. The few weeks added to the one month I spent hiding in my room was sufficient enough time for the bone fracture to completely heal. As soon as my wrist was deemed fully healed, Tsune-san started me on the physical part of my training.

Tsune-san was an excellent, but tough teacher. Her teaching methods quite a bit unorthodox and did not match her personality at all. Instead of walking me through step by step like I believed she would, Tsune-san believed that experience was the best teacher. The first day I was able to start physically training with a naginata, Tsune-san tossed a wooden naginata towards me for me to use before charging at me with her own without any instruction first. Needless to say, I got beaten black and blue that first day. Tsune-san was not someone who pulled her strikes. If it looked like she was going to hit you then she was going to hit you. The next first several days were the hardest. There were days I was so sore or in so much pain that it almost seemed impossible to crawl out of bed. I would flounder around in the futon in the mornings before I would force myself to crawl out, and then I would flounder around on the floor a bit more as I looked for something to grab on to so I could stand up. But the body remembers pain the best and soon I was able to begin dodging and blocking attacks out of pure instinct. As soon as I was able to start dodging the attacks out of instinct, getting out of bed in the mornings didn't seem so difficult anymore, or so I'd like to believe. Maybe I was getting use to the pain? I wasn't quite sure that getting use to the pain could be seen as a good thing though.

"What are you doing?!" Tsune-san yelled at me while we were in our daily spar. We were both dressed in dark, navy blue hakama paired with white hakamashita. "You are letting me get too close to you! Back up a bit and use the length of your weapon to create some space!"

Before I was able to back up and do as she instructed, Tsune-san scored a hit to my face, more specifically, my left eye. Lovely, I was going to have a black eye from that hit. I'm surprised that I didn't look like a panda yet. It was probably only going to be a matter of time though.

"Okay. Let's take a break. We can go over your weaknesses while you catch your breath." Tsune-san said as I was still reeling from the earlier hit.

"Y-yes, Tsune-san!" I panted as I winced from the hit. Oh, I could already feel the skin around my left eye swelling. Nooo, it was going to be swollen shut for a few days now meaning that I would be easily be blindsided from my left side now. Time to say hello to some more bruises and cuts now.

We placed our wooden practice weapons on the floor and walked, or in my case, limped, to the side of the room before we sat down.

"You're a fast learner, but you have a problem with your speed." Tsune-san began the long discussion about weaknesses. "You have good eyes, well a good eye," she corrected herself as she examined my bruised and swollen eye before she continued, "since you can read and see every movement, but you are too slow to react, even with your phenomenal instincts. It does you no good if you can see the attacks but can do nothing about them."

This was a big problem. If the naginata had been real, then I would have already died several times over. But the real problem was: How do I increase my speed? Such a troublesome problem.

"Tsune-san, if speed is my main problem then how do I increase my speed?" I asked seriously. This needed to be fixed as soon as possible for the sake of the bruises that have begun forming all over my body. It even hurt to breathe sometimes.

"I have a speed drill for you to work on. I will attack you ten times each round and you will need to block or dodge each hit. With each passing round, I will increase the speed of my attack. We will work on this drill daily until you can block or dodge every single attack." She told me. Joy, there would be even more bruises before the end. Forget looking like a panda by the end, I'd look like a black bear. "Now I believe our break has been long enough. It is time to continue."

I groaned in pain when I stood up again. Well, it was true that there was no gain without pain, very literally in my case. As I got into place and picked up my wooden weapon, Tsune-san didn't tell me when she was going to begin and before I could even get into the right form, Tsune-san caused me to get a bloody nose. Well, that's okay. I mean it's not like I needed that nose, right? Right?

* * *

Truthfully, I was surprised Tsune-san and I were able to train so long without being discovered by any of the men. We were able to train together for roughly about four and a half months before were we discovered by Otou-san and Hijikata-san as they walked in on us sparring.

"HAH!" Tsune-san cried as she brought her wooden naginata down in a harsh, downward strike from overhead.

Reacting quickly, I stepped to the left to dodge the attack before I quickly thrust my own wooden naginata forwards towards her lower left abdomen. My strike was knocked away quite easily by Tsune-san by the butt of her weapon before it even reached her. My attack was too slow. As Tsune-san prepared to strike me again, I leapt backwards to put some more space between us and so I could safely wipe the sweat off my forehead without running the risk of getting whacked again. Okay, so what was I going to do now? Tsune-san was weaker on her left side, but I was still too slow to get a clean hit. Tsune-san's right foot inched forwards a few millimeters. She was getting ready to lunge at my right side again! Quickly jumping to the left again, I prevented myself from being skewered and I spun my weapon as I jumped away to see if I could land a hit, but I was still too slow and she deflect my attack again. But I did notice something. If I attacked her directly after she missed me then it was more difficult for her to deflect the attack. Her body would still be recovering from that missed strike and would need time to reline itself. What would happen if I attacked her from close range after I forced her attack to miss? Would she have the time to pull her arms back to bring her weapon back to defend herself?

Preparing to test my theory, I leveled my weapon with the floor before I waited for her to attack me again. When I didn't move after getting into my formation, Tsune-san lunged forwards to strike me with a piercing maneuver, but instead of preforming a side step to dodge like I normally did, I ducked under her weapon. As soon as I was under her weapon, I thrust my weapon forwards and nearly scored a hit. Tsune-san jumped away before my attack could connect. I narrowed my eyes at her as she taunted me with a small hand gesture. That was close. Maybe if I tried—

The sound of a single person clapping loudly with pride interrupted Tsune-san and my spar. Snapping out of focus, I swung my head around to find the source of the clapping. Otou-san and Hijikata-san were standing in the doorway of the small practice room and Otou-san had a particularly wide smile on his face as he continued to clap.

"That was an excellent strike. It almost hit" Otou-san said with excited surprise before he turned to Tsune-san "So this is the task you have been spending so much time on, Tsune."

Tsune-san bowed politely to greet Otou-san and Hijikata-san before she gave me a small shove and an encouraging smile to get me to approach the two men. I followed along with Tsune-san's actions, but I was still hesitant to approach Otou-san and Hijikata-san.

"Shizuka?" Hijikata-san asked disbelievingly. It was like he didn't quite believe I was here and that he was afraid that I would vanish in a puff of smoke in an instant. "You finally left your room?"

When I first saw both Otou-san and Hijikata-san, I thought I still wasn't ready to face anyone yet. But, just as fast as that thought appeared, it disappeared and I was filled with overwhelming joy. I missed everyone and I wanted to be back more than ever now. In a split second, all my hesitation disappeared as I dropped my wooden practice weapon on the floor and ran straight into Otou-san's arms. He was so warm and welcoming. I never wanted to be away for so long ever again. I was back where I belonged. I was home.

"I missed you, Otou-san." I mumbled tearfully into Otou-san's chest as he stroked the back of my head.

"I know, Shizu-chan. I know. I missed you too." Otou-san said fondly before he placed a kiss on the top of my head and released me from his hug.

"So you decided to learn how to fight?" Hijikata-san asked curiously after I released Otou-san from my tight hug. Hijikata-san's question was more of a statement.

I nodded as I stepped away from Otou-san. "I never want to feel as helpless as I did that day. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I want my freedom back." I stated firmly.

Hijikata-san then smiled, almost proudly at my answer, before he pulled me into a hug. "It's good to have you back." he said while patting my head.

"It's good to be back." I said as I basked in the warm welcome. I missed this. I would be afraid no more.

Maybe I didn't feel ready to face the others yet, but it didn't matter how I felt because I was ready to rejoin the others. I was ready to live again.

* * *

[1] The art of wielding a naginata.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"I am not a victim. No matter what I have been through, I'm still here. I have a history of victory." ― Steve Maraboli, _Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience_

"Just how long is it going to take for Kondou-san to get here?" I heard an unfamiliar voice complain behind closed doors. Didn't this voice belong to that Shinpachi person I ran into a couple months back that night? "I'm starving! And what's with the extra tray of food? Could it be that it's for me? I knew everyone would realize that only one tray of food wasn't enough for me! Itadakimasu!"

A loud slapping sound resounded the down the hallway causing me and Otou-san to flinch. Geez! That was a powerful sounding slap. It would have been a miracle for the person who had been slapped to not have his face rearranged from that.

"OUCH! Tsune-san what was that for? That seriously hurt!" Shinpachi complained.

"That food is not for you, Nagakura-san." I heard Tsune-san's voice as she scolded the man. "This is not an extra tray of food."

"Eh? Then do we have a guest?"

The dining hall was louder than it was before. Well I did spend five and a half months away from everyone, so I did miss quite a few things. I took a deep breath before I slowly exhaled. I was ready for this, but I felt nervous as doubt began to slowly creep back into my veins. Maybe I wasn't as ready for this as I thought. Maybe I could still turn back and—No. Today was the day I was going to rejoin everyone. There was no running away now. Otou-san turned around and looked with concern at me as he paused in front of the closed door to the dining hall, the last physical barrier I had that kept me separated from everyone.

"Are you sure you're ready?" Otou-san asked me as he looked directly into my eyes. He let out a worried sigh before he reached out and brush a strand of long hair that had worked its way out of my hair bun, behind my ear. "You don't have to rejoin everyone today if you don't think you're ready."

"Yes I'm sure." I said as I exhaled one more time. I wasn't going to run away from everyone anymore. "I want to be with everyone again." It was time.

As if my words made all of his worries magically disappear, Otou-san smiled and gently pat my head after hearing my response. "Alright, but it's gotten rowdier while you were away." Otou-san commented fondly. "Our little family has grown larger again."

The dining hall door was then slid open and Otou-san stepped into the doorway while completely blocked me from view to keep me a surprise until the grand reveal.

"Oh! There you are Kondou-san! Hurry up so we can start eating!" Shinpachi exclaimed happily with an angry red handprint on the side of his face.

"Shinpat-san, you're always so impatient!" Heisuke complained while rolling his eyes from his seat directly across from Shinpachi.

"A man's gotta eat, but of course you wouldn't know, Heisuke! You're just a little boy!" Shinpachi playfully mocked Heisuke. "Shorty."

Heisuke wasn't going to take the insult and jumped to his feet before he pointed accusingly at the man with the excessive muscles in annoyance. "Who are you calling a little boy, muscle-head?!" he raged on.

"Heisuke! Shinpachi!" Hijikata-san finally barked at the two before grabbing Heisuke's ponytail and giving it a hard pull so Heisuke fell back onto his butt. "Quiet down! Kondou-san has something to say!"

"Ah, thank you Toshi. Everyone, I want you all to meet someone you haven't seen in a while." Otou-san announced to everyone excitedly.

At Otou-san's words, everyone's curiosity was peeked and fell silent as they waited for Otou-san to tell them who. However, instead of reacting the same way everyone else reacted, Souji's eyes widened for a split second before he narrowed them as he tried to see around, or through Otou-san.

"It can't be…can it?" I barely heard Souji mutter under his breath.

"Souji?" Otou-san asked. "I'm sorry, but what did you say earlier? I didn't catch it."

Instead of answering, Souji stood up and walked up to Otou-san before he extended his hand out, with his palm facing up, around Otou-san and waited. What did he…? He already knew that I was behind Otou-san without seeing me?

"Take my hand." I heard Souji say gently as he waited patiently.

It had been so long since I heard Souji's voice and seen his face and it had been ages since he last saw me. The last time he saw me I was still struggling with my posttraumatic stress disorder. The last time he saw me was before I grew out my hair and learned how to fight. Smiling softly at his gentle voice, I reached out and placed my hand on his palm and allowed him to pull me out from behind Otou-san and for the first time in nearly half a year, I came face to face with Souji.

"There you are." Souji whispered with a smile as he lightly brushed my cheek with his hand.

"I'm back…" I whispered back to him with a timid smile. However, our little moment was interrupted by an outburst of the other men exclaiming in surprise.

"No way!"

"Shizuka!"

"Shizuka-chan!"

Everyone else exclaimed all at the same time with big stupid grins on their faces when Souji pulled me into view. I nervously stepped forward from Souji's side and let go of his hand before I greeted everyone with a polite, deep bow.

"I'm sorry for worrying everyone, but please don't worry about me anymore. I'm okay now." I said while amidst my ninety degree bow.

Jumping up from his seat with a friendly grin upon his face, Heisuke ran over to where I was and grabbed my hand before pulling me with him to the extra tray of food between his and Souji's seat.

"There's no need to be so formal with that bow and all!" Heisuke cheered as he pulled be along. Souji grinned and followed along behind me. "We're all glad just to see you again! Let's all eat together again, just like we use to!"

It was impossible to stop my smile from growing even larger as I let Heisuke drag me to my seat. Otou-san let me, Heisuke, and Souji settle down in our seats first before he began speaking again.

"Before we all start to eat, Shizu-chan, I would like to finally introduce you to our two newest dojo guests." Otou-san said as he gestured to the two me I had seen before but never formally met. The man who saved me from my rapist spoke up first with a warm, brotherly like tone.

"It's nice to see you doin' a lot better now. My name's Harada Sanosuke, but you can just call me Sano."

I nodded and tried his name, "Sano…san? Is Sano-san okay?" I asked shyly with a small blush rising to my cheeks. The redhead just nodded with a wide grin.

"That's fine. There's no need to be so timid. No one's gonna hurt you here." Sano-san answered kindly.

The brown-haired man with the green bandana and excessive muscle mass spoke up boisterously right after Sano-san finished speaking.

"I'm Nagakura Shinpachi! Just call me whatever you'd like! Just don't call me my family name. That's way too formal. It's nice to finally meet ya without you freaking out." the brown-haired man said. "But seriously, that was pretty freaky when you just suddenly stopped breathing a couple months back."

I turned red at his comment. When I first met him, I had a panic attack and when I first met Sano-san, I thought he was another rapist even though he was the one that saved me. I must have made a terrible first impression. I needed to try to fix this.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience I must have caused the two of you, especially Sano-san." I said as I immediately bowed again, nearly smashing my face onto my own tray of food. Luckily, Souji saw it coming and quickly pulled the tray of food out from under me before my face could smash into it. "Sano-san saved me and I didn't even say 'thank you'…"

Sano-san smiled kindly at me, "Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're okay now."

"Alright, that's enough chatting for now! Let's all celebrate by eating our hearts out!" Shinpachi yelled out loudly before turning to Heisuke's tray and snatching away a whole sardine with his chopsticks.

"Hey! That was mine, you thief!" Heisuke yelled at Shinpachi-san's irritating theft as he tried to reclaim his fish.

"Hahaha!" Shinpachi-san boasted before he dropped the whole sardine in his mouth and ate in in one bite. "You were too slow! First come, first serve!" he said with a full mouth.

"AH! You jerk!" Heisuke complained before he retaliated by stealing a slice of eggplant from Shinpachi-san's tray. "Then you won't mind if I take this!"

"Hey! I was saving that for later, you brat! You'll pay for that!"

The atmosphere was certainly louder and livelier than before. I eyed both of the men wearily before I felt a hand on my head.

"Just ignore them and eat your own food." Souji said as he pat my head affectionately. "They've been doing this from the moment Shinpachi-san arrived at the dojo. Now hurry up and eat. The sardines are especially delicious tonight because they contain fish roe."

I nodded at Souji and took a bit of the fish just as he instructed, but kept an eye on the two arguing men to the side. It was going to take a lot to get use to all the yelling every meal.

"Both of you stop this!" Inoue-san finally snapped to scold Heisuke and Shinpachi-san sternly. "Shizuka-chan just came back to us and you'll scare her off again with your rowdiness!"

At Inoue-san's stern warning, both men froze in a comical position before they turned their heads like jerky clockworks to look at me. Shinpachi-san's arm was frozen in an arched position over Heisuke's tray of food with a hand ready to snatch more food. Heisuke froze as he was tugging on both of Shinpachi-san's cheeks. I let out the giggle had been building since Heisuke started to pull on Shinpachi-san's cheeks. It was like watching a comedy routine when those two bickered over food.

"It's fine! It doesn't bother me! It's nice to be back in such a lively setting. But Shinpachi-san, you shouldn't be stealing other people's food." I lightly scolded Shinpachi-san as I continued to giggle. "Here Heisuke, you can have my fish." I said as I placed a whole sardine onto Heisuke's plate.

"Really?" Heisuke asked all starry-eyed as he began to drool at the fish I placed on his tray. I had given him my fattest fish that seemed like it was bursting with fish roe.

"That's not fair!" Shinpachi complained when I didn't offer him any food.

"Well then, you shouldn't have been stealing anything in the first place." I said as I sent Shinpachi-san a sly smile. Shinpachi-san seemed like he would be a fun person to tease with. I looked back to Souji to see if I could get him to tease Shinpachi-san with me, but Souji had a far off look when I turned to look at him. There must have been something bothering him.

* * *

"So it was not as scary as you thought it would be to meet everyone again, right?" Tsune-san asked me as we did the dishes together after the meal.

"No, it wasn't. Everyone was so warm and welcoming. It was like being welcomed home after a long journey." I said with a soft smile as I continued to wash the dishes. There were so many more dishes to do now compared with the amount we had to do before. Before I could speak again, Tsune-san spoke first.

"Oh! Souji-kun, what can I help you with?" Tsune-san's exclaimed as she put down the dishes that she was drying with the rag.

Souji-kun? I turned my head to see that Tsune-san facing Souji, who was standing in the doorway to the kitchen. What was Souji doing here? Usually he would spend this time try to steal Otou-san's attention away from Hijikata-san while pissing Hijikata-san off. I examined Souji a bit more closely to discover he still had that expression he had from dinner. What was bothering him?

"Tsune-san, I can dry the dishes for you. Tsune-san can go do something else." Souji said to Tsune-san with a serious look. "I need some time to speak to Shizuka alone."

Tsune-san looked at Souji before turning to look at me then back at him.

"Oh, I see." she then said slyly with a smile. "Then I leave everything to you two and go do the laundry." Tsune-san quickly left the kitchen while humming a small cheerful tune that somewhat resembled her favorite love song, which made it sound like she was implying something with that little tune of hers. What she was implying, I didn't know, but why was she going to go do the laundry at night? Didn't she need the sun out so that the clothing that she washed would dry out quickly? I didn't understand her strange behavior.

Souji quickly replaced Tsune-san's place at my side and began drying the dishes I handed him. When I first saw him when he entered the kitchen, I could tell something was bothering him but I couldn't tell what. Now that he was closer to me I could tell he was trying to hide his emotions, but he was failing quite miserably at it. I could now tell he was trying to hide the emotions of sorrow and guilt. There was something he wanted to say to me and I was now pretty sure I knew what it was.

"It wasn't your fault." I said before Souji had a chance to speak.

"What?" He stopped all movement and looked at me through the corner of his eye.

"It wasn't your fault that I was almost raped."

His grip on the towel he was using to dry the dishes tightened and he grit his teeth before making his rebuttal.

"I knew there was a rapist on the loose in our area, but I still let you go by yourself. If I went with you then none of this would have happened." he said as he let his nails in his free hand dig into his palm just enough to draw some blood.

I stopped washing the dishes and I moved to take the towel out of his hand. I grabbed both of his hands with mine before speaking.

"Souji, look at me." I said softly. He raised his troubled gaze and looked at me in the eye before he quickly looked away. "What happened to me wasn't your fault. What happened to me was because I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. This isn't anybody's fault, so don't feel so guilty. If anything, I should be grateful. You and Heisuke came looking for me at the end instead of going home. Even if Sano-san wasn't there, I sure both of you would have rescued me."

Souji didn't say anything, but continued to divert his sorrowful gaze. His arms then swallowed me up in a tight embrace before I could even realize what was happening.

"I won't let anything happen to you again. I promise." Souji said as his grip tightened even more around me.

This wasn't working. Souji was still feeling guilty and was still blaming himself for something that was not his fault. I needed to try a different method to get his mind off of this. Oh! What if I…

"Can you help me with something after we're done with the dishes?" I asked Souji as I wiggled out of his grip so I could look him in the eye

"Help you with something?" he asked as he tilted his head at me.

* * *

"So this was what you were doing with Tsune-san all those months" Souji said as he dodged my attack easily before he forced me to block his own. We were in the practice hall; both of us were facing each other while holding our respective wooden practice weapons.

"What happened to me opened my eyes. I refuse to be a burden anymore. I can defend myself now." I told Souji before he landed a gentle hit on my right side. "Well, for the most part." I fixed my statement.

Souji grinned at my last statement. "You can fight now, but you're sloooow~" he taunted me playfully as he danced around.

"Hey! I'm still working on that!" I retorted with a childish pout as I tried to hit him with my wooden weapon again, but just like before, I missed.

"Ahh! Souji! Just because you need someone to practice with doesn't mean you can just force Shizuka-chan to practice with you!" A new voice shouted, interrupting our match. Both Souji and I turned to see Heisuke pointing accusingly at Souji with both Sano-san and Shinpachi-san standing behind him. When did they arrive?

"Stupid, I'm not forcing her to practice with me. Shizuka asked me herself to practice with her." Souji huffed with annoyance at Heisuke and his accusation.

"EH?! Shizuka-chan can fight now?!" Heisuke exclaimed with exaggerated surprise. He didn't have to act that surprised. It wasn't really that strange I decide to learn how to fight, right? ...Actually, if I have to ask myself that question then it probably was…

"Heisuke, you shouldn't show your surprise that much. You'll offend Shizuka." Sano-san scolded Heisuke before slapping him on the back with so much force that Heisuke nearly toppled over.

"Sano-san!" Heisuke complained. "Why do you always have to hit me?"

"So the little birdie can fight now." Shinpachi said with a grin as he ignored his two arguing friends in the background. He wrapped both of his arms around Heisuke's and Sano-san's shoulders to interrupt the small argument and guided them to the side of the room. "Come on, let's watch! I wanna see how the princess fights."

"But…" Heisuke said as he glanced at me with worry. He seemed hesitant to let the small practice match between me and Souji. "But Souji never goes easy on anyone. Will Shizuka be okay?"

"She'll be fine. Souji wouldn't rough up his own girl too much." Sano-san said with a grin. What did he mean by "his own girl"? Was he talking about me? What?

"Sano-san, keep your stupid imagination out of this." Souji said irritably to Sano-san before he said to me with a much gentler tone, "Just ignore Sano-san's stupid comments, okay?"

I nodded slowly before I readied my weapon and faced Souji again. Now that more people were watching, I wanted to impress everyone with the amount of progress I made. Souji sensed my determination and readied his weapon again.

I attacked first. I lunged at Souji's right side and forced him to block my attack. As soon as he blocked my attack, I spun my weapon to use the butt of the wooden naginata to strike his left leg while his weapon incapable of blocking my next attack. Souji read my move and leapt away before my hit connected.

"You're still too slow." Souji taunted before he launched his own barrage of attacks.

The speed of his attacks were immense and I was immediately pushed back by the multitude of thrusts. Right, right, left, right, left_. _I barely had time to process his attacks, let alone dodge each one of them. One attack came dangerously close to my face as I was getting pushed back even further. He was getting too close and I needed to create some space between us. Just as Souji was getting ready to launch another attack, I spun my weapon to force us apart.

"Not bad..." I heard Sano-san say in the background. "Even though Souji is still going easy on her, she can still keep up to a certain extent."

Souji grinned playfully at me. Oh that jerk! Just because I was a beginner didn't mean that I wasn't a threat. I'll was going to get a hit on him before this was all over_. _Calculating my quick plan of action, I launched my next attack. I broadly swept my weapon at his legs to force him to jump away from me. While Souji was in midflight from his jump, I quickly changed the direction of my attack and slashed upwards. Surprised at my sudden, new maneuver, Souji quickly brought his weapon down to block my attack. While he did managed to block my attack, my attack had knocked the grip he had on his weapon loose. As soon as he landed, I twirled my weapon around and hit his wooden sword with as much force as I could muster. I could see all of his weak spots. Every conscious and unconscious move he made right before an attack always told me all the information I needed to know to create a counter attack. Every eye movement, the slightest twitch of an appendage, and even how he controlled his breathing all told me everything I needed to know to pinpoint his weak spots. As my wooden weapon came into contact with Souji's wooden sword, it flew out of his hand and nailed Shinpachi-san in the forehead before I clattered on the wooden floor.

"OUCH!" Shinpachi-san cried in the background before he bent over to cradle his bruised head.

I ignored Shinpachi-san's cry of pain as I placed the tip of my practice weapon at Souji's throat.

"Just because I'm beginner doesn't mean you shouldn't take me seriously. Even a beginner can defeat a master if the master reckless in his overconfidence. I can see all your weak spots." I told Souji seriously as I narrowed my eyes at him.

Souji looked at me with surprise before he rubbed the back of his head bashfully. "I did that on purpose." Souji lied with a childlike pout. He turned his gaze off to the side and refused to look at me anymore.

"Hey! Isn't anybody going to apologize to me?!" Shinpachi-san continued to yell in the background as we all continued to ignore him.

"Oh? You have an extremely useful talent there." Sano-san said to me as he approached both Souji and I. "Not many people can see all of their opponent's weaknesses without many years of training and experience first."

"That's right!" Heisuke agreed as he bounced over, leaving Shinpachi-san to sulk on his own near the wall. "You're pretty amazing, Shizuka-chan!"

"I'm sure it's not as amazing as it seems." I told the guys. I had been watching Souji train since we were both mere children and I was sure I only managed to disarm Souji because I had grown accustomed to his fighting style.

"Don't sell yourself short." Sano-san said as he ruffled my hair with a smile. "If you still doubt yourself then I'll face you next. I'll prove your statement wrong."

"Eh? Sano-san, you're fighting her now? Don't you think you should let Shizuka-chan rest a little first? She might be tired." Heisuke looked at me worryingly.

"Don't worry about me. It takes a lot more than this to make me tired. My training was much harder and much more intense than this." I said confidently as I got back into my starting formation.

"That's the spirit." Sano-san said as he went to grab the long wooden pole from one of the racks near the wall. He got into position in front of me as everyone else moved to the side.

"I'll tell you this now: my main weapon is the spear, unlike everyone else here. Let's see how you handle an opponent that uses a different type of weapon." Sano-san warned before he launched his first attack.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her." ― Lao Tzu

The summer of 1862 was a hot and miserable summer. Other than the weather being unbearably warm, there was a large outbreak of measles. This epidemic of the measles, just like the one recorded in 1802, came from a trade ship that had docked at Nagasaki. The epidemic began in February of this year and as the months went by, the epidemic traveled to Kyoto and Osaka, infecting hundreds and thousands. It would only be a matter of time before it reached Edo[1]. However, despite the imminent threat of the measles looming over ahead, at Shieikan hall, I was dealing with another health issue.

"Tsune-san, are you alright?" I asked as I pat her gently on the back. Just one whiff of the miso soup we were preparing for breakfast and she was over by the bushes gagging.

Tsune-san answered after a few more seconds of coughing over the bushes outside, "I am fine. I have just been feeling slightly nauseous during the day. I probably just caught a bug. It will pass in time."

I stared at Tsune-san a bit longer. True, she could just be sick, but she is a married woman now too. I was thinking maybe this wasn't a stomach bug. However, it was too early to tell if it was the other possibility, but that didn't keep me from hoping. Tsune-san and Otou-san deserved to have their own actual child by blood and I thought it would be nice to have a younger sibling too. I absolutely loved my younger brother in my past life and I thought big families were great too.

"Do you think it is something else?" Tsune-san asked with concern when she noticed me examining her.

"Well, it could be." I said as I began leading Tsune-san back to where Otou-san was. If she was feeling nauseous then it would be best to keep her away from the scent of food. I could finish cooking breakfast on my own. "But it would be too early to tell if what I'm thinking is true."

"What you are thinking is true? Wait, Shizuka-chan, where are we going? I need to finish cooking breakfast for everyone."

"Not while you're feeling nauseous. Go sit down with Otou-san and I'll finish cooking breakfast by myself."

"Shizu—"

"Hmm? Tsune? Shizu-chan?" Otou-san interrupted Tsune-san's objection as he spotted me leading Tsune-san back to their bedroom. "Is something wrong?"

"No, there is—"

"Yes." I interrupted Tsune-san denial. She shot me a quick dirty look that I ignored. "Tsune-san is feeling a little bit nauseous and I thought it would be best if she sat out on making breakfast today."

"No. I am fine." Tsune-san huffed as she finally got a word in. "I am going back to finish preparing breakfast."

However, before Tsune-san could march out of the room, Otou-san stopped her by gently grabbing her hand. Tsune-san turned around when Otou-san grabbed her hand to see Otou-san examining her with worry.

"You have been nauseous for a few days already." Otou-san said. "Perhaps you should listen to Shizu-chan this time dear. Why don't the two of us go out for a small walk alone and let Shizu-chan finish preparing breakfast?"

"Just the two of us?" Tsune-san asked with sweet hopefulness as she perked up. With a household full of rowdy men, it had been some time since they were both able to relax with just each other as company. Tsune-san had dearly missed the alone time she used to have with Otou-san.

"Yes." Otou-san answered with a handsome smile. And with that, Tsune-san was completely convinced to let me finish preparing breakfast by myself while she spent some alone time with Otou-san.

* * *

"I'm starving. When was the last time I ate something decent?" Shinpachi complained in the afternoon later that day to Sano-san and Heisuke as the four of us were lounging in the main practice hall. Instead of having any classes to fill up the main practice hall that day, it was empty. Shieikan Hall hadn't been prospering at all lately.

Was he complaining that Tsune-san's and my cooking wasn't decent? I huffed while crossing my arms at the statement before I turned away from Shinpachi. I was offended by that statement! Sure, we didn't have the money now to cook anything fancy, but did he have to say that the food wasn't decent? He was the one freeloading off of us and he had the nerve to complain. Sano-san shot me an apologetic glance with a small smile as Shinpachi-san continued complaining without noticing my offense at his statement.

"Hey, Heisuke, can I borrow some money?" Shinpachi-san said with an award-winning grin as he tried to get some drinking money. "I'll pay you back later."

"Are you kidding? I'm not lending you any money!" Heisuke retorted snappishly with a sour look. "Lending money to you is like throwing it away since I see no hope of getting it back.

"What? Miser! You talk like I never return money!"

"Oh yeah? Then gimme back what I paid for you the last time we went drinking!"

We were all struggling to put food on the table, but yet they always managed to be able to scrap up enough money to go drinking? One would think that they would learn to cut back on alcohol while we were low on money. Which reminds me… How come no one ever allowed me to drink any alcohol? I get the feeling that it was Hijikata-san's fault. He did catch me before I drank myself silly on the night of Otou-san's wedding all those years back. I probably scared him so much that he created situations that forbade me from consuming any alcohol.

"I told you I don't have the money now! When I earn big money, I'll repay double." Shinpachi-san retorted as the argument got louder.

"When is that gonna happen? Besides, I'm pretty much broke myself. I haven't got any remittance lately." Heisuke argued back.

Sano-san sighed while listening to those two argue. "Without any money at all, I couldn't even try to win more by gambling." he said to himself as he crossed he arms and leaned back lazily against the wall.

"Is that how you get your money, Sano-san?" I asked while Heisuke and Shinpachi-san continued to bicker in the background. "Because you could lose money just as easily when gambling. When we're this poor, instead of just losing all of our money, we could go into debt if we lose a gamble."

"Er… No I was just thinking out loud on the possible fastest ways to earn some money right now." Sano-san answered as he averted his gaze to avoid looking at me.

I sighed and leaned back against the wall with Sano-san. It was time to go find some small part-time jobs or something like that to earn some extra money. Maybe if I worked two to three extra jobs I could possibly earn enough so that I could buy better ingredients to cook with and have some extra money to give to the guys so they could go out and have some fun drinking. As I was lost in my thoughts, the noise in the room fell eerily silent. I snapped out of my thoughts from the loud silence only to find Shinpachi-san staring hopefully at me while he had an expression of enlightenment on his face.

"Yes?" Why was Shinpachi-san staring at me like that? It's not like I have any money to give to him yet.

"Shizuka-chan," Shinpachi-san began with a large smile while sounding suspiciously sweet, "do you have any money I can borrow?" He quickly clapped his hands together while bowing his head slightly before begging, "Please?"

"Oi, what do you think you're doing? You shouldn't be asking Shizuka for money." Sano-san cut in before I could answer. He was frowning disapprovingly at Shinpachi-san actions. At such open disapproval from Sano-san, Shinpachi-san sheepishly grinned while rubbing the back of his neck before backing off.

I sighed at Shinpachi-san's request for money as I pushed myself off the wall again to stand up straight. "All my money is spent on groceries to feed everyone." I explained. "But because of the lack of money in the first place, I can't buy any fancy ingredients, hence the plain, boring meals you've been getting recently. If you really want some drinking money then give me a few weeks to find some small jobs I where I can earn some extra money."

At least Shinpachi-san had the decency to be embarrassed upon hearing my statement. I opened my mouth to tell the guys about a few jobs I had heard about while I was at the market when an unknown voice called from the front of the dojo.

"Excuse me. Is anyone in?"

All of us looked at each other before Shinpachi-san and I went to answer the door. We were both greeted with the sight of a strange man. This man wore all black and a scarf on a hot summer day and did so without even sweating. However, the most curious thing was that this man wore both of his swords on the right side of his hip and not on the left. Usually left-hand sword users would be corrected when they enrolled in any dojo. This was why there were no left-handed samurai. But here was this man that wore his swords on the right side like it was perfectly normal.

"Kondou-san... I mean young master isn't in. Are you here for taryū-jiai?" Shinpachi-san asked the stranger. If this man was here for taryū-jiai, then that meant he was here to test his skill with a sword by challenging Otou-san, the master of the dojo, to a match.

"Exactly." the man answered. The man's response was short and calm.

I had no idea who this man was, but I could immediately tell that he was strong. He had confidence in the way he wore his swords despite being the opposite of the norm. The way he carried himself and the aura that oozed out from every pore of his being seemed to proclaim his strength. This man prided himself on his strength. He was most likely a dangerous and powerful opponent.

"Please come in and wait. I think he will be back in a little while." I spoke to the man with a polite smile when Shinpachi-san didn't reply. The stranger's reply was so short that Shinpachi-san didn't seem to know what to say.

I quickly nudged Shinpachi-san with my foot to snap him out of his daze. Quickly coming back into focus, Shinpachi-san then signaled man to follow the both us to the main practice hall inside the dojo. The stranger nodded in response and followed us in silence. When we reached the main practice hall, I slid open the doors for both men. Sano-san and Heisuke looked at us with surprise when they saw an extra face.

"What do we have here? It'd be great if he's a new pupil, but I don't think anyone would come all the way to our shabby dojo. So he's a dojo-yaburi?" Sano-san asked Shinpachi-san. By dojo-yaburi, Sano-san had meant challenger.

"I'm afraid so." Shinpachi-san answered Sano-san. "What do we do now? Should I send Shizuka-chan to go ask for help from Renpeikan as usual?"

Renpeikan was another nearby dojo that also used the Tennen Rishin-ryū style. Whenever there was a challenger at Otou-san's dojo, I usually had to run down to Renpeikan to get someone to take the challenge for us. The expertise of our dojo was actual combat, not matches with bamboo swords. Everyone at Otou-san's dojo always practiced with wooden swords and those wooden swords were just as heavy as real swords. Sword matches using bamboo swords were not our specialty. Therefore, whenever we had a challenger, I would get sent to the nearby dojo to ask them to send someone to take care of the challenger for us.

"I'll go." I answered before Sano-san had the chance to answer Shinpachi-san and I hustled out of the room. In the hallway, just as I was about to reach the front door, I bumped into Souji, who was sulking in the hallway.

"Hm? Shizuka, where are you going?" he asked after a particularly nasty look evaporated from his face when he saw me. He must have gotten into another fight with Hijikata-san.

"We have a challenger, so I was running to Renpeikan to get them to send someone to take care of the challenge for us." I told Souji before I continued on my way, but Souji grabbed my wrist before I could leave.

"There's no need, I'll take care of it." he said before leading me back to the main practice hall. He seemed to have an enormous itch to beat someone up right now.

"Are you alright?" I asked. "What did you and Hijikata-san argue about this time?"

"It's nothing." Souji assured me kindly as he continued walking towards the main practice hall.

When we both got to the entrance of main practice hall, Shinpachi-san had moved from his original position in the room and was now blocking the doorway with his back while he was trying to talk to Sano-san, Heisuke, and the stranger.

"Shinpachi-san, get out of the way, will ya? You know how annoying it is for someone so big to block the entrance like this?" Souji snapped as his foul mood returned in full force.

Shinpachi-san turned around to see Souji and me and quickly moved aside to let us through when he saw Souji's terrible mood. Souji looked at the man who was now standing against the opposite wall before turning back to Shinpachi-san. I was sure now that Souji just wanted to take the challenge just so he could work off his bad mood by beating someone up.

"So he's the one who requested the taryū-jiai?" Souji asked Shinpachi-san with irritation evident in his voice.

"Yeah. So I sent Shizuka-chan to go request Renpeikan—" Shinpachi-san started before he was interrupted.

"There's no need. I can do it. I happened to have some free time." Souji cut into Shinpachi-san's sentence before letting go of my hand.

"Hey... hey! Are you sure, Souji? If you, the head pupil gets defeated, it's defeat of the whole Shieikan!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed.

Shinpachi-san had every right to be worried about Souji taking the challenge. No matter how skilled Souji was, he was so used to a wooden sword that he was absolutely terrible when he had to use a bamboo sword. It might be better to wait for Otou-san to return.

Souji turned back to the stranger and said, "In this dojo, we use wooden swords that are as heavy as real swords. Is that alright with you? That's going to seriously hurt if you get hit in the head. If you want to run, you still can."

The tone that Souji used was absolutely terrifying to those who weren't use to it and his attitude was usually enough to drive off all challengers. However, the stranger replied without any change of expression.

"I've had matches with numerous wooden sword users. They all gave big talk like you. But none of them were able to defeat me."

"I see. So you've had weak opponents." Souji respond cockily.

There wasn't a change in the stranger's expression, but everyone could see the coldness and confidence increase in his eyes. Souji was content when the challenger didn't flee and told challenger to wait while preparations were made. I went to retrieve two wooden swords from the racks against the walls of the room. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Shinpachi-san tug on Sano-san's clothing.

"Hey, Souji's worked up today. Did I miss something?" Shinpachi-san whispered to Sano-san.

"I bet it's just another quarrel with Hijikata-san. Isn't that always the reason for him to be so pissed?" Sano-san whispered back.

"You're right. Hijikata-san and Souji don't learn. Must they argue over every boring thing every day?" Shinpachi-san asked, but received no answer.

I handed the two wooden swords I retrieved from the racks to Souji. He passed the challenger one of the wooden swords before asking his opponent about a mask and gauntlets for protection.

"There's no need." responded the stranger.

At the stranger's words, Souji grinned sadistically. If the students of this dojo saw that grin then they all would have shit their pants while running away crying.

"By the way, I haven't asked your name. I'd like to hear it while you can still speak. So what is it?" Souji asked confidently.

"... Saitou Hajime." answered the stranger.

"So you're Saitou-kun. My name is Okita Souji, nice to meet you." Souji said to the Saito before he turned to me and Shinpachi-san. "Shizuka, go stand next to Sano-san and Heisuke. Shinpachi-san, would you be our referee?"

Sano-san and Heisuke seemed confident that Souji would win and therefore didn't pay much attention to the match that was about to take place. They weren't even interested in the result. Both moved to a corner of the main practice hall and started playing shogi[2]. Both Souji and Saito had gotten into their positions when Souji then noticed that Saito's form was in reverse.

"Well, left-handed? Hmm... I see." Souji commented.

"It's my sword style. Pardon me." Saito replied without his confidence wavering.

"It's no big deal. Be it left or right, there's no way I'd lose."

I got the feeling that Souji was being overconfident. There was no way this match would be a normal match. His opponent was a man that could confidently walk around with his sword on his right hip. A man that could do that had to be strong enough to shut up any other man that ridiculed the reversed sword positions. I glanced over at Shinpachi-san. He seemed to feel the same way I did about this match.

"Begin!" Shinpachi said as he let his hand drop to officially start the match.

Both men held their swords in middle stance. In middle stance, it was easier to react to the opponent's movements and find a chance to attack[3]. That's why middle stance was the basic of the basics for swordplay. Both of them held still, trying to find a chance to attack. Saitou attacked first. He stepped out with his left foot and Souji's eyes widened with surprise. Being an expert in swords, both Souji's mind and body were accustomed to the movements of a right-handed opponent. But Saitou's movements were in reverse. Souji's past experiences were not going to work in this match.

Saito launched into his attack in a quick series of thrusts. Souji's stance immediately collapsed at the onslaught of the attacks and he barely dodged all the attacks. Seeing Souji lose his stance, Saito didn't let the opening slip by. The onslaught of attacks continued, preventing Souji from resuming his stance. There was anxiety on Souji's face. Despite all the years I had lived with Souji, I had never seen him like this. He seemed to realize that if he didn't fight with his full ability then he would lose. Souji quickly knocked the next attack away with his wooden sword before going on the offensive. This time it was Saito's stance that collapsed. Souji grinned at the opening and performed his signature move, the Sandanzuki. The Sandanzuki was a fatal attack that required extraordinary speed and precision to perform. It consisted of three thrusts that were so fast that it appeared like the three thrusts were made at the same exact time. Saito managed to dodge the first two thrusts but then he got hit by the last thrust.

"One hit!" Shinpachi-san yelled out, officially ending the match. However, neither of the men backed off and continued to whack each other with the wooden swords.

"Um… Shinpachi-san, shouldn't we try to stop them?" I asked while watching both men beat each other up. Wooden swords wouldn't cut like real swords, but they could break bones and I didn't want to have to set anyone's bones today. "They might actually kill each other if they continue." I pointed out.

"Hey... Hey! One hit! I said one hit! Can't you hear?" Shinpachi-san yelled a bit louder, but both men continued to ignore Shinpachi-san. This was becoming more of like a brawl with wooden sticks with each passing second.

"Well, well. You're much better than I expected!" Souji complemented Saito with his normal sarcastic tone, which now held a hint of feral excitement. "I've never seen anyone able to stay on his feet after taking a hit from me."

Saito replied with a faint smile on his lips, "You too. You are the first one not to be taken down by my first attack."

The loud sounds of wooden blades crossing continued to fill the dojo as the brawl continued. Even though both men were sweaty and covered in bruises, they both wore the expression of glee. Both of them must have been thinking the same thing: "Finally I've met someone at my level!" Sano-san and Heisuke, who originally weren't paying attention to the match, had already forgotten about their shogi game and were now watching the battle with their jaws on the floor.

"I said stop! The match is over!" Shinpachi-san yelled again as he tried to stop the brawl, but he was once again ignored.

Shinpachi-san quickly looked over to me when he was ignored once again and pointed to my practice naginata that was up against the wall. Since I was the one with the long weapon, I could insert my weapon between the two brawling men without running the risk of getting hit. Following Shinpachi-san's instructions, I went to grab my wooden naginata off the wall. There was a good chance that we would have to force both Souji and Saito apart before they killed each other.

"Shizuka! Force those two apart! Shinpachi! Heisuke! Pin down Souji! Harada! Grab the other!" A roar suddenly came the entrance of the room. Only one person I knew that could roar like that. It looks like Hijikata-san and Otou-san were finally here.

I quickly and efficiently slipping my wooden practice weapon between Souji and Saito before I pushed them apart with a quick twirl of my weapon. As soon as they were both far away enough from each other, Shinpachi-san and Heisuke quickly rushed in to pin Souji to the floor with a loud thump while Sano-san went to restrain Saito.

"Calm—calm down, Souji." Shinpachi-san said as he struggled to keep Souji down.

"Yeah! You're going to kill him!" Heisuke agreed as he helped Shinpachi-san push Souji to the ground with another loud thud.

"This side is also secured." Sano-san stated as he held Saito back with a powerful grip on one shoulder. Saito was kneeling on the floor as he tried to catch his breath.

"I knew the racket in the dojo sounded unusual." Hijikata-san stated loudly before he turned to yell at Souji. "What the heck were you doing?!"

"Hahahaha!" Souji laughed with glee from the floor while brushing off Hijikata-san's yell before panting, "Too bad! For the first time, I thought I'd get to kill somebody."

While Souji was answering Hijikata-san's inquire, I went to check on his wounds. He seemed okay for the most part, he would just be like a bruised banana for a few days.

"What nonsense are you talking about?!" Hijikata-san scolded Souji. "If someone dies in a match, we'll never get any new pupils!"

Otou-san then placed a hand on Hijikata-san shoulder to calm him down before saying, "Anyways, we should tend the wounds first. I'll get some ointments, Ishida Sanyaku[4], and sake." Otou-san then turned to get said items, but Hijikata-san stopped him.

"You don't need to do such things, Kondou-san! You're the master of this dojo and you should act like it." Hijikata-san said to Otou-san with slight exasperation before turning to Heisuke. "Heisuke! Go get the first aid kit for Shizuka!"

"Alright! I got it!" Heisuke replied energetically before jumping up and running out of the dojo's main practice hall to fetch said materials.

As soon as Heisuke left, Otou-san turned to Saito. "Although I only saw part of your match, I see you're greatly skilled. What's your name?"

Saito seemed stunned, but I guess that was to be expected. Despite using his left hand in the match, he was praise by the dojo master instead of being thrown out. Wielding a sword with the left hand was considered inappropriate.

"What is it? Was it something I said?" Otou-san asked, worry that he offended Saito, when Saito stared back at him openly with stunned surprise.

"No… It's just that… I was using a left-handed stance. Didn't you notice?" Saito asked bewilderedly.

"Huh? Oh!" Otou-san said as a lightbulb went off in his head. "I've heard that lefties are often talented. So it's true."

I think Otou-san misunderstood that question… Saito was asking why he hadn't been thrown out yet.

Saito's eyes, understandably, widened at Otou-san's response. He was speechless. Hijikata-san, who actually understood what Saito meant, spoke up.

"What's that about? Was that what people in other dojos said? Left-handed or right-handed, a victory is a victory. It's just that they can't accept defeat. How disgraceful."

Now Saito really was surprised. Otou-san's and Hijikata-san's words were so different from what everyone else said and Saito was touched by such different and honest words. There was no way Saito wasn't going to join our dojo after this. I moved over to Saito's side and began checking on his wounds.

"Saito-san, right?" I asked with a friendly smile while gently handling the nasty bruise that was forming on the side of his face. "Let me know if anything hurts, I'll most likely be the one that will be treating any of your injuries from now on.

* * *

[1] Kohn, George C. _Encyclopedia of Plague and Pestilence: From Ancient Times to the Present_. 3rd ed. New York: Infobase Publishing, 2008. 212-13. Print.

[2] Shogi (将棋 shōgi), also known as Japanese chess or the Generals' Game, is a two-player strategy board game in the same family as Western (international) chess, chaturanga, makruk, shatranj and xiangqi, and is the most popular of a family of chess variants native to Japan. Shōgi means general's (shō 将) board game (gi 棋).

[3] Tokeshi, Jinichi. _Kendo: Elements, Rules, and Philosophy_. N.p.: Hawai'i Press, 2003. 87. Print.

[4] Medication created by Hijikata Toshizo's family.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength." ― Ralph W. Sockman

I swung my wooden weapon forward only to miss by a hair. Sparing with Heisuke was far more challenging than sparing with Tsune-san was. He was faster, less predictable, and overall a more difficult opponent to face.

"Whoa! That was close!" Heisuke exclaimed as he jumped away from my forward thrust. "You almost got me, Shizuka-chan."

"I may have been close, but a miss is still a miss." I said as I tried and missed him again.

I was irritated with myself. While I did improve enough to pose somewhat of a small threat, the amount of times I could hit the guys was only slightly higher than the amount of times I missed them. My hit rate was only a poor 65%. If the guys were representative of the skill level of the average person then I would have been screwed if I ever got into trouble outside the dojo.

"Hey, let's take a break." Heisuke suggested as he danced away from my last slash. I couldn't even touch him in that last sparring match. "We've been going at each other for some time and you're probably tired by now."

I nodded disappointedly before I used my sleeve to wipe the sweat off of my forehead and walking over to where Heisuke sat down. I slumped down next to him before I let out a deep breath to unwind. Taking a quick peek at Heisuke, I noticed that he wasn't sweating like I was. He didn't even break a sweat. He was going easy on me, wasn't he?

"So, how come you're asking me to spar with you so much now?" Heisuke broke the comfortable silence that had settled between us. "You usually ask Tsune-san or Souji to spar with you."

He did have a point. I have been spending most of my free time with sparring with him now rather than Tsune-san, and for good reason too.

"Because Souji spends most of his time sparring with Saito-san now and because Tsune-san doesn't present as much as a challenge anymore. If I want to improve, doesn't it make sense to practice with someone that presents a greater challenge? Besides, Tsune-san is pregnant." I explained. My hunch about her nausea awhile back turned out to be correct when she missed her period among other things. "Pregnant women shouldn't be participating in sports where they can take hits. It may cause a miscarriage."

I also could have gone to spar with Shinpachi-san or Sano-san, but then that would have been less than ideal. Both men had a tendency to be too easy on me when we sparred. It was just something about hitting women that put those two off. Heisuke was the best option, despite also being against hitting women. Heisuke was the one that could be most easily persuaded into increasing the level of difficulty while sparring, and he the most fun too.

"Oh I see... Wait!" Heisuke exclaimed as his eyes popped out of his skull while he was digesting the information. "Tsune-san's pregnant?! How come no one ever tells me these things?"

"Only Tsune-san, me, and now you, know about the pregnancy. Tsune-san has only known for certain about her pregnancy for a week now. Even Otou-san doesn't even know yet, although, Tsune-san might tell him later today."

"Oh." he said as he calmed down before he asked me curiously, "How come you know about it before Kondou-san?"

"I was the one who put together the signs. Tsune-san has had tender breasts, lightheadedness and dizziness, nausea, and her flow is now late." I explained. "After I put together the clues, I thought it was pretty obvious."

"How do you know about these things? Most women only know what the signs of pregnancy are after they've had their first child." he asked before he started to look like he was constipated. "Unless... Don't tell me...you've been pregnant before?!"

What?! Pregnant before? How the hell did he come to that conclusion? I violently twitched with a vein popping out of my forehead before I stood up and pulled painfully hard on Heisuke's hair.

"Do I LOOK like I've been pregnant before?!" I yelled in annoyance as I jerked Heisuke's hair with each syllable.

"OUCH!" he cried out in pain as his hands immediately flew to the base of his ponytail. "No! You don't! Ouch! Let go! Ouch, ouch, ouch! I'm sorry! Ouch! SORRY!"

I huffed and sat back down again after releasing his hair.

"Ouch, that really hurt!" he complained while giving me the stink eye and rubbing the part of his head where it hurt the most.

"Good! It was supposed to!" I huffed as turned my head away from him and crossed my arms. Me, pregnant before? What a joke. I haven't even had sex with anyone in this life yet. I grabbed my weapon and stood up again before long. "Come on, the break has been long enough."

Heisuke looked up at me hesitantly. "You just want a chance to beat me up now, don't you?" he asked before sagging down as all the energy left him.

"Yes." I admitted. What girl wouldn't want to beat the crap out of the guy who said things like that?

"Gah! I don't wanna get beat up. That would be so lame. And I said I was sorry!" he said in a rush as he tried to placate me. Before I could reply, another voice interrupted.

"You should be a good boy and train, Heisuke." Souji's sarcastic voice called over from the door. Heisuke and I turned to see both Souji and Saito-san standing in the doorway with wooden swords. "This is the practice hall. If you aren't training then get out and make room for those who are."

Heisuke turned to argue with Souji but I focused my attention on Saito-san. I didn't quite know what to make of him. He was a really powerful swordsman, but he was always so quiet and taciturn. He was also the only one that paid honorariums whenever he came to the dojo. He didn't live with us, but he often stayed for meals. We never really spoke to each other, but I knew he had the tendency to overly polite about things. All we ever did when we ran into each other was nod at each other as a greeting before continuing on our ways.

"Heisuke," I cut in before he could start an argument with Souji. It was about time to go and I didn't want to be late. "Let's go. We're done anyways."

"Huh? But..." Heisuke glanced back at me.

"They need some room for a match and I have something I need your help with."

"Oh, okay..." Heisuke said hesitantly before he trotted after me as I turned to leave the room.

Heisuke followed me out of the front gate before he noticed that we were heading towards the market.

"Hey, where are we going?" he asked as he bounced along behind me.

"To earn some money." I answered as I waited for him to catch up with me. "You know old man Fujiwara, right?"

"You mean the old man that sells pottery at the market?"

I nodded before I continued, "He broke his arm and needs someone to help him run his stall and move his goods around his warehouse. He told me that he would pay me to help him run his stall."

"So that's where you've been getting your extra money." Heisuke exclaimed in realization "That's why we've been getting fancier meals lately. What do you need my help for?"

"The goods in Fujiwara's warehouse are in large boxes and I can't move them all on my own."

"Oh! Okay! But seriously, our financial situation isn't looking so hot." Heisuke said as he accepted my explanation while we continued towards our destination. "It's a wonder that we all haven't starved yet considering how much food Shinpat-san inhales."

* * *

"That was some hard work. Now my back is all sore from the lifting." Heisuke complained while stretching his back on our way back home from the extra job.

We got paid a nice amount for our work and I had now finally saved up enough money to give to the guys so they could go out to drink for one night. I hoped that they appreciated the effort I put forward.

"What's this?" I teased him playfully when he complained about his back. "Is Heisuke getting old?"

"Aww, gimme a break. Even the strongest man will get tired lifting all those boxes. It was like he kept mountain inside his warehouse!" Heisuke gestured in an exaggerated fashion.

I giggled at his flashy show of movements and it wasn't long before the both of us broke down into laughing fits. Heisuke was always fun to be around. When we finally got our laughing back under control we continued on our way back home. The moment we arrived at the front gate of the dojo, someone collided into me then proceeded to pick me up.

"Hahaha! Shizu-chan there you are!" Otou-san happily exclaimed loudly before he spun me around in circles. "You'll never guess what news I just got!"

I hated being spun around like this, but I endured it and let Otou-san happily continue to spin. Heisuke was absolutely no help in getting me out of my dilemma as he just stood there and grinned as Otou-san spun me around in circles. Tsune-san and Hijikata-san stood at the entrance to the dojo with smiles on their faces. I'm was going to make an educated guess and say that Tsune-san told Otou-san about her pregnancy and that Hijikata-san just happened to be in the same room when that piece of news was announced.

"Let me guess, I'm going to be an ane." I said so bluntly that Otou-san thought he misheard me.

"Wha— How do you know?"

"I was the one who told Tsune-san that she was pregnant."

"EH?!" How do you know these things?!" Otou-san asked in shock as he placed me back down on the ground to stare at me in amazement.

"Because I'm magical." I said deadpanned. Tsune-san laughed at Otou-san's bewildered expression in the back as Hijikata-san shook his head in amusement.

* * *

Dinner was a lively affair. With the news that Tsune-san was pregnant, everyone was ecstatic. Dinner was magnificent feast. There were so many different dishes and the junmai daiginjo-shu was brought out. Unfortunately for me, no one would let me drink any of the special saké. It was quite disappointing for me because junmai daiginjo-shu was regarded as the highest grade saké and I really wanted to try some seeing that we rarely got to drink saké that good. Everyone offered their congratulations to Otou-san and Tsune-san and wished them well. Then almost everyone proceeded to drink themselves silly long after dinner was over. Despite his being a joyous occasion, something didn't seem right. Souji had barely touched his meal and he didn't touch any sake at all. He looked rather pale compared with this morning when he had come into the main practice hall.

I moved around the Idiot Trio's drunken dance and went to sit next to Souji. Otou-san, Tsune-san, Sannan-san, and Hijikata-san already turned in for the night and Saito-san left the dojo shortly after Hijikata-san retired for the night. As soon as I took a seat next to Souji, I placed my hand on his forehead.

"Huh? Shizuka?" he asked as he jumped a bit when he felt my hand. It looked like wasn't paying much attention to his surroundings.

"Are you feeling alright? You look like you're sick." I asked him softly. His forehead was warm, but there was no fever yet.

"Now that you mention it, I am feeling a little off." he admitted.

I frowned before I placed my arm under his shoulder and helped him up. "I'm taking you to bed. You should be resting if you're feeling sick." I said.

"Oh? You're taking me to bed? I didn't know you felt that way about me." he joked as raised his eyebrows in a suggestive manner despite feeling quite ill.

"This isn't the time to joke around." I admonished him quickly. "Come on, let's go."

We began walking back to his room and when we got there, I set Souji on his futon. I placed my hand on his forehead once more to check his temperature before I gently pulled his hair down out of his topknot.

"If you weren't feeling well, then why didn't you go to bed early?" I asked as I went to go fetch his sleepwear from the closet.

"It's just that everyone was happy for Kondou-san and I didn't want to ruin the mood." he told me while looking down at the floor like a scolded child.

"Can you tell me what your symptoms are?"

"I have a runny nose, a sore throat, and I started to cough a few hours back."

"Here, put these on and go to bed." I said as I handed him his sleepwear. "It sounds like a bad cold, but it's too soon to know what illness you caught yet. I'll come back tomorrow morning to check on you. Okay?"

"Okay." he agreed submissively as he offered me a weak smile.

I brushed back his bangs before kissing him on the forehead. "Rest well."

I left his room to let him rest and headed back to the dining hall to drag the Idiot Trio to their beds before they drank themselves into comas. When everyone was finally in bed, that's when I finally started clean up. Why did drunk people have to so messy? When was I ever going to run into a clean drunk?

It was the next morning in the Hour of the Tiger when I came back to Souji's room to check on him. I slid his door open and closed it after I had entered to keep any possible infectious agents from spreading any further.

"Souji?" I called out quietly to him.

"Ugh, Shizuka?" His voice was hoarse and weak.

I walked over to where he laid and examined him. He was covered in cold sweat. I place my hand on his forehead under his bangs. He had a high fever. I looked at Souji worriedly as I gently caressed his cheek to provide some comfort. He had flu-like symptoms and many infectious illnesses always started off like this. It was still too soon to tell what he truly had, but I wasn't liking the symptoms. The measles epidemic had finally reached Edo a few weeks back and I had the feeling that Souji was one of the many thousands that had gotten infected. The epidemic this time was so serious that not even the Shogun escaped from getting sick[1].

"Are you cold? You have a fever." I asked gently while moving my hand from his cheek to stroke his head.

"Yeah…" he said before he let out a weak cough.

"It's too soon to know for certain what you have, but I think I know what it is. I'll be right back. I have to inform Otou-san" I said as I moved to stand up but was stopped when Souji weakly grabbed my arm.

"What do you think I have?" he asked worriedly before he let out another cough.

"I think it's the measles." I answered. "The measles is becoming widespread in Edo and it's highly contagious."

"Then shouldn't you stay away from me if it's highly contagious?"

"I already caught the measles when I was four. I'm immune to it now so I don't have to worry so much about becoming infected." Souji let go of my arm after my explanation and I left to inform Otou-san.

After I informed Otou-san of Souji's illness, Otou-san wanted to wait to see if Souji really did have the measles before determining if he had to send Souji away to another house to recover. After two more days after Souji's fever surfaced, the classic rashes that were signs of the measles appeared all over Souji's body. Souji was then immediately relocated to one of Otou-san's acquaintance's house in Fuda for recuperation. The main reason for the relocation was the fear of spreading the illness, especially now that Tsune-san was pregnant. The measles was known to possibly cause miscarriages in pregnant woman and Otou-san didn't want to take the chance of exposing Tsune-san to it. However, despite the measles being known to be highly contagious, Otou-san still insisted that he should be able to go visit Souji daily.

* * *

Otou-san and Hijikata-san were away on business at the current moment, I believed it was a degeiko. Heisuke, Sano-san, and Shinpachi-san were at the market looking for some way to bring in some income. Tsune-san was sleeping away some of the fatigue that came with the pregnancy. Souji was still away because of the measles. I was alone in the dojo and I wandered my way to the practice hall in complete boredom. No… I wasn't alone. Saito-san was in the practice hall swinging a wooden sword.

"Oh, hello." I wasn't sure what else to say. What do people say to one as silent to Saito-san anyways?

Saito-san nodded at me before asking me, "Is there something you need?"

"No, it's just that there's no one else around…" I said a bit timidly as I averted my gaze to the floor.

"I see." Saito-san said before he resumed his sword swinging.

Saito-san was strong and well-liked by everyone at the dojo. I didn't know Saito-san well at all, but I was curious about him. I looked at my wooden naginata leaning against the wall. Well, what better way was there to learn about a silent warrior other than a sparring together?

"Saito-san? If you have some time right now, then do you think you could have a small practice match with me?" His eyes widened slightly at my request.

"You know how to fight?" he asked with surprise.

Saito-san had never seen me fight before. He may have caught the end of my practice session with Heisuke a couple of days back, but he never actually saw me swinging my weapon. He must have thought I was just in the main practice hall to watch Heisuke train by himself.

"I wield a naginata." I said while walking to the wall to retrieve my weapon. "While I am nowhere near being the master of naginatajutsu, I am curious how my combat skills compare to yours. So, will you have a practice match with me?"

"Very well," he said in a cool voice that had a slight hint of approval. "Let us test our skill against each other."

We got into position in front of each other. I was going to wait for him to make his first move. I had seen him spar with Souji over the past few weeks and it became obvious that I would be no match for him in terms of speed. No, if I wanted to have any chance at winning then I needed to watch his moves and learn how to read his attacks. No matter how powerful he was, he wasn't a perfect. Like every other person, he had openings and weaknesses. Like a viper, the moment I saw that single opening or weakness is the moment I would strike.

When Saito-san realized I wasn't going to attack him first, he made his first attack. A quick and precise thrust was aim towards my right shoulder. I soon as I saw his left foot move, I ducked to avoid the incoming thrust and I brought my own weapon in an upwards jab aimed towards his face. His eyes widened slightly as he spun around to avoid my attack. While he was spinning to avoid my attack, he aimed towards my back. Expecting an incoming attack, I quickly twirled my weapon around and forced us apart. His wooden sword grazed my shoulder before I could fully get some distance between us. It was a shallow hit, but it was still a hit. I had lost.

"You are much more skilled than I anticipated you would be." Saito-san told me in a slightly impressed tone while I was sagging disappointedly at my quick loss.

I sighed, "But it still wasn't enough. I still lost." as I shifted my weight onto my right leg.

"While there is still some room for improvement, you fought well. You utilized strategy well when you realized you could not match my speed. Your attacks held no hesitation and you attacked confidently. You are a fine warrior."

I was stunned at his words. Not only had he complimented me, but this was the most I have ever heard him say all at once.

"The main area you could use improvement in is your speed. Come here, I will teach you how to increase your speed."

We spent the rest of the morning training together. Despite being so silent, Saito-san was thoughtful of others and really nice.

* * *

When Otou-san and Hijikata-san returned home in the afternoon after being out all morning from the degeiko, they weren't stay for long. As I understood it, both of them were leaving again, but this time it was to go visit Souji. I convinced both of them to take me with them. I was worried about how Souji was doing. He must have been very lonely since he had to be put into isolation. When we arrived at the room where Souji was resting, it was surprising to see him sitting up.

"Sorry I'm late." Otou-san apologized to Souji as we all took our seats next to the futon Souji was on. "Degeiko took longer than expected."

Souji's face brightened up considerably when he saw Otou-san and I. "Ah… Welcome, Kondou-san, Shizuka."

"How are you feeling? Has the fever gone down?" Hijikata-san asked Souji. He was worried about Souji despite the fact that they always went out of their ways to annoy each other. However, Souji was less than pleased to see Hijikata-san.

"Hijikata-san is here too." Souji said with a sour face. He never did like to share people with Hijikata-san and was probably upset that Hijikata-san was intruding on the time he had with Otou-san.

"Don't give me that indifferent look. We're fellow disciples, after all." Hijikata-san said to try to dispel the displeased look on Souji's face.

"Toshi was worried about you. When I got home yesterday, he kept asking about how you were doing. Since he's so worried, I invited him to come and visit you together." Otou-san explained Hijikata-san's presence. Souji still looked rather displeased.

"Many pupils aren't coming to the dojo because of the epidemic, so there aren't many things to do in the dojo anyways." Hijikata-san added on to Otou-san's statement.

"The disease carried in by the foreigners? I heard there's no way to prevent it." Otou-san said before everyone turned to look at me. They all suspected that I had an answer.

"Measles is a systemic infection. The primary site of infection is the respiratory epithelium of the nasopharynx. Two to three days after invasion and replication in the respiratory epithelium and regional lymph nodes, a primary viremia occurs with subsequent infection of the reticuloendothelial system. Following further viral replication in regional and distal reticuloendothelial sites, a second viremia occurs five to seven days after initial infection. During this viremia, there may be infection of the respiratory tract and other organs. Measles virus is shed from the nasopharynx beginning with the prodrome until three days after rash onset[2]. The only way to completely prevent it is to have somehow acquired a vaccination for it or to have had the infection once." I explained like an encyclopedia. "People who are at a higher risk of becoming infected are people who have a vitamin A deficiency. Meaning you," I pointed to Souji, "don't eat enough vegetables. Measles also happens to be one of the most infectious illness known to mankind."

"This is worrisome." Otou-san said after hearing the last part of my explanation. I don't think he actually really understood the first half.

"Please be careful too, Kondou-san. If you fall sick, what would Shieikan do without you?" Souji said as he became more concerned about Otou-san.

"Me? I'm too healthy. There's no need to worry. However, I'm worried that even requests for degeiko have decreased. The future is so grim. What will become of this country?" Otou-san answered as he became depressed towards the end. Seeing Otou-san's depressed face, Souji became more upset himself.

"Don't be pessimistic." Hijikata-san said to try to cheer Otou-san up. "When the world is stirred, there's a chance for us rise from obscurity. A hero only stands out in a turbulent age, right?" Hijikata-san was always good with words.

"A hero that stands out?" Otou-san asked.

"I'm talking about you, of course. Like I said before, you deserve more than being a master of a small dojo."

"Nah. I already said I'm not that great." Otou-san replied to Hijikata-san with a bashful smile.

Turning to observe Souji, he seemed to become more depressed when it was Hijikata-san that cheered Otou-san up while he was unable to do anything. In an attempt to make him feel better, I reached over to grasp Souji's hand gently.

I cleared my throat before I spoke up. "Otou-san, Hijikata-san, both of you already know how infectious the measles are. Both of you should get ready to leave before we end up with two more sick patients."

"Ah! Shizu-chan is right! Come on Toshi, we can come back to visit Souji tomorrow." Otou-san exclaimed as both men prepared to leave.

"Huh? Aren't you coming too, Shizuka?" Hijikata-san asked me when he saw that I did not move from my position before he eyed Souji's and mine interlocked hands.

"No, I'll stay here until Souji gets well again. I already caught the measles when I was four, so I'm immune to it now. I won't get sick." Souji seemed so upset. Maybe if I stay here with him, he'll feel better. "You two should bathe when you get back home."

"Alright," Otou-san said to me, "but make sure you don't overwork yourself." Both men left shortly afterwards.

"You don't have to stay here with me. I'm sure you have better things to do than to stay here and care for me." Souji said to me after a moment of silence.

"No, I have nothing better to do." I corrected Souji's statement. I couldn't leave him to suffer alone. "Scoot over."

"Why?" he asked as he laid back down onto the futon

"Just do it."

Souji complied with my request and when I got into his futon, pulled him close and I maternally cradled his head against my chest.

"It's lonely to suffer by yourself right?" I asked him while running my fingers through his hair. "Go ahead and sleep. I'll still be here when you wake up."

Souji seemed surprised by my actions at first before he relaxed wrapped his arms around my waist and allowed himself to rest.

"You'll stay with me?" he mumbled into my chest before he drifted off. "The whole time?"

"The whole time. I won't leave, okay?"

* * *

[1] Kohn, George C. _Encyclopedia of Plague and Pestilence: From Ancient Times to the Present_. 3rd ed. New York: Infobase Publishing, 2008. 212-13. Print.

[2] CDC Pinkbook: Measles


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"I want to grow. I want to be better. You Grow. We all grow. We're made to grow. You either evolve or you disappear." ― Tupac Shakur

Doing the best I could, I quickly brought up my practice naginata to block the incoming strike from Hijikata-san's wooden sword. With a loud clash, Hijikata-san's wooden weapon smashed in to mine and I was quickly pushed back from the heavy attack. Blocking instead of dodging that attack was a big mistake. Hijikata-san was overpowering me with just brute strength alone and if I didn't do something quick then my form was going to collapse and I would lose this practice match. In an attempt to remove the pressure Hijikata-san was putting on my defense, I stopped pushing back on one side of my weapon so my guard would form a slant. If all went according to plan then Hijikata-san's weapon would slide off harmlessly due to the amount of force he was pressing against my defense and I would be able to create some distance between us to use to my advantage.

Unfortunately, things didn't go according to plan. Hijikata-san, who had seen the very same trick before, apparently wasn't putting all of his strength into pushing on my guard. So when I slanted my guard, Hijikata-san was able to pull back his weapon and give me a firm whack on the side, causing me to fall pathetically on my butt.

"Ow…" I whimpered from the floor while sounding absolutely pathetic.

With all my practice matches with the guys lately, I had noticed that my growth in naginatajutsu was starting to slow and stall a bit. Without much assessment, I immediately concluded that my growth was slowing down because everyone was still going too easy on me. So in order to try to speed up my growth again, I had asked all the guys to stop giving me a handicap every time we sparred. With the fear of severely hurting their little sister figure, all the guys refused and since I was unable to just leave the situation like that, I went to go find Hijikata-san. I knew he wouldn't hold back on me if we were to have a practice match. The result of the practice match? It was completely one-sided. While it did take a while for me to lose the match, I could also say that I didn't land any successful hits on Hijikata-san either.

"You alright?" Hijikata-san asked as he held out his hand to me. I grabbed his hand and allowed him to haul me back onto my feet.

"You pulled your hit earlier?" I asked as I examined my side. It hurt and I was hit with enough force to be knocked down on my ass, but it actually didn't hurt that much.

"Yeah. It's a practice match, not a real fight where I'm trying to kill you. So, did you discover what you wanted to know from that match?"

"I discovered how stupid it was to suddenly ask someone far stronger than me to drop all the handicaps all at once." I said with a wince as I bent down to pick up my fallen practice weapon. "So I can't have the guys drop all their handicaps all at once, but they still won't increase the level of difficulty when we spar. How can I further improve if they don't start increasing the level of difficulty?"

Hijikata-san sighed before flicking me on my forehead. "Do you even realize what you're asking them to do? You're practically asking them to beat you up and how can they? One look at you and all they see is a tiny girl. You're what, 4′9″?"

"Well, I'm not asking them to see me as a tiny girl." I said with a pout as I rubbed the area that Hijikata-san flicked. "All I want them to do is stop treating me like I'd break any second."

"Just because you ask them to stop treating you like a little girl doesn't mean they will." Hijikata-san retorted with a small nostalgic smile. "Anyhow, it's almost time for lunch. Aren't you in charge of cooking during Tsune-san's pregnancy?"

"Fine, I'm going." I said with a sluggish drag before I handed Hijikata-san my wooden, practice weapon and started making my way towards the kitchen. I knew they didn't want to hurt the person that they had come to view as a little sister, but if they kept babying me then I would never grow stronger. Figuring that they would listen to Hijikata-san over me, I turned around to call back towards Hijikata-san, "Tell them to stop babying me!" before I completely stepped out of the room

Hijikata-san raised his eyebrow with amusement at my retreating form and called back, "You know they won't listen to that order!"

* * *

As everyone was gathering in the dining hall for lunch, Otou-san excitedly made an announcement.

"I have just received some wonderful news this morning! A hatamoto[1] has nominated me to be an instructor in the Shogunate's military academy! If this nomination goes through then I will be able to train the youngsters from gokenin[2] in swordsmanship!" Otou-san said as he practically vibrated in place. After all of these years, he had finally been acknowledged. "Am I in a dream?" Otou-san said in a daze.

"What are you talking about? I always said that you were more than a master of a small dojo. Among all the dojos in Edo, is there anyone stronger than you?" Hijikata-san asked Otou-san. Everyone in the room agreed with Hijikata-san.

Otou-san his averted gaze as he flushed a flamingo pink color, but soon beamed at Hijikata-san shortly afterwards. "I see." he said as he accepted the complement. "You have a point. I've never been so happy that I persisted in swordsmanship. Of course I'm happy that my skills are acknowledged, but more importantly… Everyone won't have to worry about money! That's the best thing!"

Hijikata-san shook his head with a smile. "Even at a time like this, you always put others in front of you."

Everyone cheered at the good news and Sano-san ran back to the kitchen to bring out some more saké for the celebration. Maybe our small dojo did have a chance to survive in these turbulent times.

* * *

It was the December of 1862 when Tsune-san gave birth to Otou-san's actual biological daughter. Kondou Tamako was born in the Hour of the Tiger after eight hours of labor. Tsune-san was strangely graceful during the birthing process. She never cried out in pain or complained, seeing how that was considered disgraceful, but the way she endured the pain of labor was amazing. It looked like she wasn't even in pain. Now that was impressive. If I was the one that had to give birth then there would have been no way for me to keep the pain out of my facial expression. I also probably would have screamed at the doctors to give me an epidural.

Otou-san stood next to Tsune-san as he held Tamako-chan for the first time. His eyes were filled with tears of fatherly pride and happiness.

"My sweet little Tama-chan…" Otou-san said in quiet awe as he carefully cradled the new born baby in his arms.

There was something different about the way he held Tamako-chan over the way he held me as a baby. Holding a baby was one thing, but holding a baby that he was responsible for creating with someone else was a completely different feeling. There was a sense of awe and amazement that Otou-san had with Tamako-chan that he lacked with me.

Tsune-san, who was laying on the futon next to Otou-san, looked absolutely spent but still somehow managed to stay awake to watch her husband hold their daughter for the first time. "Shizuka-chan," she called me over with an exhausted wave. I quickly put down the dirty sheets so I could go over to her, "come and meet your new imōto[3]."

When Otou-san saw me approach with a curious stare, he grinned at me and held Tamako-chan up to me so I could take her. When I took Tamako-chan from Otou-san, I examined her features closely. Tamako-chan was born a healthy baby. She was a good size and weighed the right amount that a healthy new born should. She was also a very pretty baby. Despite only being a few minutes old, it was already obvious that Tamako-chan had a very fine facial structure. She was going to grow up to be a very beautiful woman.

"Hello there, Tamako-chan." I gently cooed in a whisper as I slowly rocked her back and forth. She was already starting to drift off to sleep and I didn't want to disturb my new baby sister. "You know, when you grow up, Otou-san's going to have to chase all the boys off with his sword. You're going to grow up to be very pretty."

Otou-san immediately stiffened and turned a boiling, hot, red color when he caught wind of what I was saying before erupting in a loud, "WHAT BOYS?!"

The louds sounds of a baby crying filled the room shortly afterwards. Needless to say, Tsune-san was not very happy with Otou-san's sudden outburst.

* * *

With time creeping by slowly and quickly at the same time, the year 1862 vanished with the arrival of the New Year. Sitting outside on the porch in the cold January weather, I rocked Tamako-chan back and forth in my arms as I tried to get her to go to sleep. For some strange reason, Tamako-chan enjoyed the cold weather and often dozed off quicker in the cold. I, on the other hand, wasn't too fond of the cold. Shivering as a cold gust of wind blew by, I quickly shielded Tamako-chan with my shoulder to ensure that she wouldn't get too cold.

It had been some time since the hatamoto nominated Otou-san as an instructor, but we had gotten no news of it since the nomination itself until earlier today. Receiving a summon about the instructor position, Otou-san and Hijikata-san quickly left to answer it. Everyone was excited about the summon. Was Otou-san finally going to start his new job as one of the Shogunate's military instructors? Everyone one was so excited at the prospect of Otou-san becoming a military instructor that they preparing for a celebration tonight for when Otou-san and Hijikata-san returned. Tsune-san was in charge of all the fancy cooking and all the other guys were her extra hands while I was to babysit Tamako-chan while everyone was busy.

Finally deciding that I couldn't stand the cold anymore, I stood up and prepared to return inside but I paused when I saw two figures approaching Shieikan Hall from a distance. It was Otou-san and Hijikata-san! They were back…but something was wrong. Instead of a happy grin I expected to be on his face, Otou-san's lifeless gaze was directed to the ground as he dragged his feet. He was as pale as a ghost. There could only be one reason Otou-san was behaving like this now. The nomination must have been canceled. As I slowly approached the two downtrodden men, I heard part of their conversation.

"...I'm just useless." Otou-san mumbled with a defeatist attitude as he slowly dragged himself closer to the dojo.

"You're not!" Hijikata-san exclaimed with a ferocious amount of force as he tried to dispel Otou-san's doubts. "He said there's a change of plans. That happens all the time!"

"How should I explain to everyone waiting in the dojo? They were so happy."

Otou-san sounded so heartbroken that it hurt to listen to him speak like this. Otou-san just always seemed so happy all the time and it felt completely out of character to see him like this. I had never seen him so upset. He almost seemed like he was on the verge of tears.

"I'll explain to them. There's no need for you to worry about this. There will be more chances. Don't be so depressed." Hijikata-san told Otou-san before he noticed me with Tamako-chan approaching them. "Shizuka?"

"The nomination got canceled, didn't it?" I asked grimly.

Hijikata-san nodded while Otou-san refused to look at me and Tamako-chan. What were we going to do now? We were running out of money. We were so close to bankruptcy that it would be impossible for the dojo to remain open for another full year. We remained quiet with dread as we entered the dojo and when Otou-san and Hijikata-san were greeted with cheers as they opened the door to the dining hall, it became harder to bear. All those cheers and happy smiles must have felt like salt on an open wound to Otou-san right now.

"Welcome back, instructor! How did it go? Look! For the main dish we have a whole sea bream tonight! Tsune-san sure is enthusiastic today!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed excitedly as he saw Otou-san. At the mention of her name, Tsune-san smiled brightly at Otou-san.

"Of course. You're an instructor now, and deserve the best." Souji added to Shinpachi-san's statement without losing a beat.

I snuck a glance at Otou-san's face. He had grown more depressed at Shinpachi-san's and Souji's innocent words of congratulations. I could only guess what was going through Otou-san's mind right now. He was greeted with such cheer and with a feast when he only had bad news.

Saito-san, who had noticed how depressed Otou-san looked, asked, "Kondou-san, what happened? You look down."

However, Otou-san still found it too difficult to speak. Realizing Otou-san was still choking over his unspoken words, Hijikata-san spoke up instead and made the grave announcement. "In short, Kondou-san won't be nominated as an instructor in the Shogunate's military academy."

Everyone immediately fell silent after Hijikata-san broke the upsetting news.

"What's the meaning of this?" Sannan-san finally asked as he broke the suffocating silence. "It was him who came to us and brought this up wasn't it?"

"Why all of a sudden? There must be a reason." Shinpachi-san added while sounding outraged.

"We got no answer no matter how much we asked." Hijikata-san explained after a depressed sigh. "If it was because they were short on budget then we could have accept that if he explained."

Otou-san, who was silent the whole time, finally spoke up with a bitter smile. "Isn't there only one reason? It's because I was not born in a samurai family." he said as he twist the cloth of his sleeve into a painful knot. "I knew it was inappropriate for a peasant to teach samurai how to wield a sword."

At Otou-san's words, everyone looked at each other uncomfortably. We all already knew that it had to be the reason since Otou-san was notoriously strong. In Tokugawa Japan, class and status still meant everything. It was a strict system where it was almost impossible to move up.

"What are you talking about?" Shinpachi-san jumped in as he tried and failed to cheer Otou-san up. "Kondou-san, swordsmanship has nothing to do with social status!"

"Nagakura-kun thinks this way because you're the first son of a samurai family. Most people in this world aren't as open-minded as you are." Otou-san mumbled as he smiled self-deprecatingly. "... I'd prefer to be alone for a while. Everyone go on with the meal without me." After speaking his piece, Otou-san left the room like a broken man. When Otou-san left, Tsune-san quickly excused herself and ran after Otou-san, leaving Tamako-chan in my arms.

An awkward and depressing silence filled the room for what felt like hours before it was broken by Souji.

"When Kondou-san was told that his nomination was canceled, what was Hijikata-san doing? Don't tell me you merely listened quietly." Souji jumped up from his seat to accuse Hijikata-san with a tone that was dripping with venom.

"What's that supposed to mean? What did you expect?" Hijikata-san argued back as he furrowed his brow at Souji.

"Kondou-san was insulted in front of you, and you sat there and watched? Had I been there, I definitely would have slashed that person!" Souji yelled. His fists were clenched in frustration and regret.

Hijikata-san didn't look too happy to be accused by Souji, who wasn't even there when Otou-san's nomination got canceled. Hoping to stop another fight from erupting, I quickly went to stand between the two frustrated men in the hope of catching their attention.

"Souji, you can't blame Hijikata-san for this." I said as I attempted to be the voice of reason. "You can't just behave disrespectfully just because someone offended you or someone you admire, especially if you're speaking to someone of higher class. If you don't plan properly then there'll be backlash and not to mention, if Hijikata-san did do what you suggested then it would have made Otou-san look bad while making the situation worse."

"So, you're just saying that we should just let your otou-san get treated disrespectfully just because the higher-ups say so?!" Souji yelled at me angrily. Tamako-chan, who had never liked yelling, started whining and tearing up in my arms. This was not working. I needed to calm Souji down somehow.

"I never said that." I answered as calmly as possible. "I'm just saying that we need to be careful how we speak to people who are politically more powerful than us. Those people have the power to blacklist us from everything, which will forever prevent Otou-san from obtaining any new opportunities. I know you want to defend Otou-san's honor, but losing your temper will not help him at all."

"Still, Hijikata-san should have been able to do something!"

"I'm not playing along with your childish talk. The world isn't as simple as you think!" Hijikata-san finally erupted with an irritated tone before he stomped out of the room and slamming the door shut behind him.

The awkward silence returned to the room with only the sound of Tamako-chan crying with me trying to comfort her filled the silent room. No one ate anything. The news from before had made everyone lose their appetite.

* * *

Just when I thought our financial situation couldn't possibly get worse, it did. Within a few weeks, we had finally lost enough students to have our net profits go into the negatives. It was only a matter of time before the dojo would be forced to close down. One person I thought we would never lose also stopped coming to the dojo. Saito-san, who once came to our dojo religiously, suddenly stopped coming a few weeks after Otou-san's nomination got cancelled. Everyone but Hijikata-san was baffled by Saito-san's disappearance. It was like Saito-san suddenly dropped off of the face of Earth. Everyone was upset at the sudden loss of a friend and took Saito-san's absence hard, but Souji was the one that took the loss the hardest. Not only had Souji lost a friend, but he also lost his sparring partner.

"Souji." I said as I tried to get his attention while he sprawled himself lazily over my lap one afternoon. He had been especially lethargic ever since Saito-san's disappearance. "You can't just lay here all day."

"Why?" he mumbled before he looked up to let our eyes meet. "It not like I have anything to do. Hajime-kun isn't here right now."

"Just because Saito-san isn't here doesn't mean you can't go do something else. How about going with Sano-san to the market today or tomorrow to look for jobs?"

"I don't wanna." Souji muttered before he wrapped his arms around my waist and knocked me flat on my back as he laid his head on my chest.

"Souji…" I exclaimed exasperatedly before I cradled his head against my chest and started running my hand through his hair. "We need money. We all have to pitch in to make sure we can survive."

"I don't wanna…"

I sighed at his childish behavior. Maybe if I gave him a good firm kick out the door then he would go do something productive.

"Souji." I said firmly as I strictly glared down at him. Souji shrunk back at my strict glare and got off of me as he sat up straight again, allowing me to sit up again.

"… I'll go with Sano-san tomorrow…" he mumbled as he averted his gaze by staring out the open door.

"Then what are you going to do now?"

Souji just sagged forward and placed his head against my chest again without saying anything.

I had no idea what caused Saito-san to stop coming to our dojo all the sudden, but I did have my suspicions. There was a rumor that a hatamoto had been accidently killed in a friendly duel by the son of a gokenin had started to float around Edo directly after Saito-san disappeared. The description also fit Saito-san. His father was Yamaguchi Yūsuke, an ashigaru of the Akashi Domain, who had bought the rank of gokenin. The man in that had been killed in the friendly duel was also killed by someone who was left-handed. Hijikata-san also had the same suspicion, but we both agreed that Saito-san was a good man. The world was hardly a simple place and whatever Saito-san's reasons were, we were both sure that it was complicated.

* * *

"Hey!" Heisuke yelled loudly as he came barreling into the house. "I have some news!"

"Heisuke, not so loudly." Sano-san sternly scolded Heisuke as everyone gathered around. "Tamako-chan is sleeping and you'll wake her up with all the ruckus you're making."

"So what's the news, Heisuke?" Shinpachi-san asked.

"This notice board." Heisuke panted before held up a wooden notice board he pried off its mount. I was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to pull it off. In fact, I was sure that removing an official notice board without permission was illegal. I hope no one saw him tear it off its mount.

"Anyone joining would be awarded 50 ryō, and given an honorable role as the Shogun's guards." Sannan-san read off the wooden notice board that he took from Heisuke hands.

"Oi, is this for real?" Shinpachi-san exclaimed skeptically.

Shinpachi-san had every right to be skeptical at the offer. Fifty ryō was a lot of money. During this time period, a single ryō was worth about three thousand to four thousand yen. Another thing bothered me too. This offer was for hiring ronin to protect Shogun Iemochi for when he entered Kyoto. Why would they hire mere ronin for this job? This offer was too good to be true.

"Is the offer legitimate?" I asked. If the men were going to take up this deal then I wanted to make sure it was real and not fake. Hijikata-san was the one that answered me.

"It looks like it." Hijikata-san said before pointing to a seal on the board. "See that? That's the Bakufu's official seal. What do you want to do Kondou-san?"

"I don't know." Otou-san replied. "I need some time to think." Otou-san left the room afterwards.

"... I'll speak with Kondou-san." Hijikata-san said before he rushed after Otou-san.

Otou-san agreed to take the offer in the end. The dojo was going to close down. Otou-san and everyone willing to follow were going to go to Kyoto while Tsune-san, Tamako-chan, and Shuusai-sensei were to remain behind. I was personally surprised that I was included in the group going to Kyoto. It turns out the only reason I was going was because of Sannan-san.

"Shizuka-chan is the most skilled person I have ever seen when it comes to dealing with injuries. If any of us get injured, then she could treat the injury without much of a problem. It would be cheaper than seeking out a doctor and safer than leaving an injury untreated. It would be a wise move if we brought her along with us to Kyoto." was what Sannan-san said before everyone agreed.

However, the decision to head to Kyoto wasn't completely smooth. Hijikata-san voiced his concern to Otou-san over whether Souji had truly fully recovered from the measles from a half a year back.

"He was sick in bed from the measles, right? Oh, thanks." Hijikata-san said to Sannan-san and Otou-san before he accepted the cup of tea I brought for him. The three men were discussing what needed to be done before everyone left for Kyoto. "He's not fully recovered yet. Wouldn't it be better if we went to Kyoto first, and then called Souji over after we've got things on track? Besides, there's no guarantee that we'll really get paid."

Instead of leaving the room right away after I had finished serving everyone tea, I decided to stay and listen in to the conversation. Hijikata-san was being reasonable. As skillful as Souji was, he wasn't actually the healthiest person. He was too much of a picky eater, so when he did get sick, it would usually take a long time for him to fully recover. Souji had recovered from his bout of measles, but he was still slowly regaining his strength. I looked over to Otou-san to wait for his answer.

"Sannan-kun, what do you think?" Otou-san asked hesitantly. Otou-san did want the best for Souji, but he also didn't want to leave Souji behind.

Sannan-san didn't answer immediately. After falling into deep thought, Sannan-san glanced at Hijikata-san out of the corner of his eyes. Whenever Sannan-san did that, it meant his opinion differed from Hijikata-san's.

"Wouldn't it be better to respect Okita-kun's own opinion?" Sannan-san finally said. "It's not for us to decide. Besides, if it's about his health then wouldn't it be better to ask Shizuka-chan. She was the one that nursed him back to health when he was sick from the measles."

All three men then turned to me with expecting stares, each person expected me to agree with their own opinions. Hijikata-san wanted Souji to stay in Edo longer so Souji could fully recover his strength. Otou-san wanted Souji to go to Kyoto with everyone. Sannan-san wanted to ask Souji for his own opinion. And I would have to say that I agreed with Sannan-san. Souji was a man now and he should be able to make his own decisions. Although, asking Souji for his opinion on the matter would have been pointless. I knew Souji would follow Otou-san to the ends of the world without question.

"Umm…" I said under the pressure of their expectant gazes before I let out a sigh. "It's true that Souji hasn't fully recover his strength yet, but ultimately, it's his decision on whether he wants to go or not. However, if he wants to go then we shouldn't worry too much. He's not sick anymore. His body is just a little physically weak right now."

"I see." Otou-san said after he heard my opinion. "I'll ask him directly tomorrow."

The next day, while I was keeping Souji company when he was practicing in the courtyard, Otou-san came to find Souji. Souji perked up when Otou-san called out to him and quickly handed me his wooden sword before running up to Otou-san like an innocent child.

"Souji, there's something I want to ask you. Do you have a minute?"

"Of course." Souji said happily while beaming at Otou-san. "What is it?"

Otou-san gained an increasingly guilty look when Souji replied so happily. Lately Souji had been more focused on practicing in order to be helpful in the journey to Kyoto. Otou-san must have felt guilty for what he was going to say.

"It's about the journey to Kyoto."

"What is it? Has the date been decided?" Souji asked excitedly.

"Now…" Otou-san said hesitantly as he bit his lower lip. "How about you stay here with Shuusai-sensei, for the time being?"

Huh? What happened to asking Souji for his own opinion? Hijikata-san must have spoken to Otou-san again on the issue after the discussion ended last night.

"What does that mean? Am I being a hindrance to you?" Souji asked with a stiff voice. His expression was like back then, when he stood outside the dojo while blankly looking at the direction of his home and saying that his sister abandoned him.

"No!" Otou-san immediately and adamantly denied. "Nobody said that! It's just…you've been sick in bed for a while, so it's too stressful for you to…"

"If you're talking about the measles, wasn't that about half a year ago? I'm already cured. Shizuka cleared me. Why can't I go with you? Is it troublesome if I go?"

"That…that's…"

"Please! Take me with you! For all the kindness Kondou-san offered me, I haven't done anything in return yet." Souji pleaded desperately. Otou-san opened his mouth to speak, but before he could speak, Souji suddenly grabbed his sleeve. "I'm not useless! I will definitely be helpful to Kondou-san in Kyoto! So please! Take me with you!"

Souji bowed deeply after he made his plea. He was almost like a puppy that knew he could be thrown away and feared to be abandoned again by someone he deeply trusted. Seeing Souji like this was heartbreaking and I knew there was no way Otou-san could refuse Souji.

"I see." Otou-san said while offering Souji a smile. "Let's go to Kyoto together, Souji."

Souji looked up from his bow to see if Otou-san meant his words or not. Then he beamed at Otou-san.

* * *

The night before we all left Kyoto, Tsune-san came to my bedroom to speak to me privately.

"Shizuka-chan, I have some things to give to you before you leave tomorrow." she said to me as we sat down directly across from each other.

Tsune-san lifted a small bundle at her side and passed it to me. I opened the bundle to reveal its contents. Inside was a new set of clothing that consisted of hakama pants and a hakamashita. While hakama were usually only worn by men, this outfit was extremely feminine. The hakama pants was a lovely shade of violet with a single line of white sakura flowers embroidered on the left leg. The hakamashita was white with patterns of pink embroidery.

"You will have to be able to properly move if you get caught in a fight. A normal woman's kimono will not allow the proper movement that is required in a fight. You will have to wear a hakama to fight properly. But never forget that you are a woman. The fashion of the clothing will remind everyone that you are still a woman. A woman's sensibility will be needed in a large group of men." Tsune-san explained before grabbing the next item. "This is the naginata that was in my dowry. You will need a real weapon to use. I will not allow you to go to Kyoto without the proper means to defend yourself."

Tsune-san then reached for the last item. It was a beautiful, lacquer, flower print box. She opened the box and presented me with a brand new set of operating tools.

"I got these through a friend of my chichi-ue. It will be your job to ensure that everyone lives through each skirmish. You will need the proper tools to take care of everyone if they get injured." Tsune-san finished.

I was touched that she went through all the trouble for me. I was not her daughter by blood and she had no obligations to treat me well, but she cared for me like I was her daughter. I reached forward and hugged Tsune-san.

"I promise to take care of everyone. As long as I am still alive, I won't let anyone die if I can do something about it." I whispered as we embraced each other.

* * *

There were many men that gathered at the entrance of Edo in the morning. We were all to be lead out of Edo by Kiyokawa Hachiro, the man that was in charge of the recruitment process. While there were many men of different origins, one prominent man stood out. He was well-known samurai by the name of Serizawa Kamo.

"What's this? What do you think you're doing, bringing your daughter, Kondou-san? You're taking this too lightly. This isn't some fieldtrip!" Serizawa belittled Otou-san when he saw me. "Run home little girl. You don't belong here."

When Serizawa spoke those words, everyone from Shieikan prepared to rise to Otou-san and my defense. I stepped forward to stop them before turning to Serizawa.

"Shouldn't you be saying that to yourself?" I asked.

"What!?" Serizawa snarled. How dare a lowly woman speak to him this way!

"Do you have a medic with you? You do realize that people get injured in skirmishes and it would be the smart thing to have a medic on hand." I stated firmly. "I'm not here as Kondou Isami's daughter, but as a surgeon. You will not treat me like a little girl. I am a surgeon and I will be treated as such."

When I had finished speaking, Serizawa's furious expression morphed into one of amusement.

"Hahaha! Well said, woman! But heed my warning well. I will be watching you. The moment you make a mistake is the moment I will personally dispose of you." Serizawa warned. "Women don't belong in the world of men."

"Duly noted," I said plainly as I held his gaze. Didn't the world of men only exist in the first place because there were women?

Everyone from Shieikan watched our little standoff. From that moment on, I was no longer that girl that every coddled. I was a fully grown woman that did not need to be babied.

"Everyone, pay attention!" a voice in the front exclaimed. Kiyokawa Hachiro stood at the front of the large group to address his men. "We are now leaving for Kyoto and I want no conflicts along the way. Anyone who creates conflict from within will be appropriated dealt with, understood?"

"Sir!" all the men replied.

With that, Kiyokawa took the first step out of Edo as he lead the group, which had been dubbed the Roshigumi, out of the city. We all left Edo for Kyoto on February 8, 1863.

* * *

[1] A hatamoto (旗本, "under the banners") was a samurai in the direct service of the Tokugawa shogunate of feudal Japan.

[2] A gokenin (御家人 gokenin) was initially a vassal of the shogunate of the Kamakura and the Muromachi periods. During the successive Edo period, the term finally came to indicate a direct vassal of the shogun below an omemie (御目見), meaning that they did not have the right to an audience with the shogun.

[3] Term to address little sister.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"She will not be simple and sweet. She will not be what people tell her she should be." ― E. Lockhart, _The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks_

After six hours of walking, the Roshigumi was now finally slowing down for a short lunch break. The journey from Edo to Kyoto was estimated to take about one week at walking speed, assuming that we all traveled roughly about twelve hours per a day. Looking around, I took this time to observe the type of men that came together to form the Roshigumi. While some people, like everyone from Shieikan Hall, and Serizawa's group were staunch supporters of the shogun, most of the men that were recruited harbored Sonnō Jōi sentiments. I found this strange. If the Roshigumi was created for the purpose of protecting the shogun when he arrived in Kyoto then why was the troop that was supposed to protect him made up mostly of people who had anti-Tokugawa sentiments? Kiyokawa himself was anti-Tokugawa, so how did he get this position? There must have been larger political powers at play. A gentle but firm hand landed on my shoulder and startled me out of my thoughts.

"You okay there, Shizuka?" Sano-san said before he ruffled my hair. "You're not too tired to continue, right? We have been walking for quite some time now. It's okay if you want to rest."

"No, I'm fine." I said as I beamed up at him. I quickly shoved his hand off my hair shortly afterwards. I didn't want to have to fix my hair again. "It has been six hours of walking, but it's not like we were doing anything more strenuous than that. If we were running for those six hours then that would be another story."

"She's fine." Shinpachi-san cut in as Sano-san was about to speak again. He appeared behind Sano-san with a broad grin. "She's tougher than that. You do remember what she said to Serizawa-san before we left, right? But, damn. That was really ballsy of you, Shizuka-chan, talking back to him like that." Shinpachi-san seemed very impressed with my earlier performance.

"Not really." I said to both men. "I just didn't like the way he was speaking to me. I mean, so what if I'm a woman? I can fix up peoples injuries better than anyone I know. Gender is irrelevant to my skill set."

To say that I didn't belong because of my gender was something I found immensely insulting. I firmly believed that people should be judged based on their merit and not by their gender or appearance. And as pompous as the thought may sound, I was probably the best surgeon in all of Japan at the current moment. With my accumulative education from the future, it was to be expected that I was the best surgeon here. It didn't matter that I was a woman. If I'm skilled in my job, then I'm skilled in my job. Gender shouldn't and doesn't matter.

"What are you guys still doing back there?" Heisuke called to us from the head of the massive group. "We should eat lunch while have the time too! Come and get some rice balls! Tsune-san made them for us just before we left."

"We're coming! You better not have eaten all my rice balls!" Shinpachi-san called back before he enthusiastically dragged Sano-san towards the front, leaving me by myself.

"Your rice balls?!" Heisuke exclaimed in outrage as he rushed to protect the food from the bottomless pit.

I didn't move from my spot after the two men left. I didn't quite feel too hungry yet. Unlike the others, I packed some sliced fruit for the trip and had been snacking on my fruit while we were walking earlier. I could skip lunch right now without too feeling low on energy later. I wasn't alone for long before Souji appeared behind to me.

"Shizuka," Souji called playfully from behind. Before I had a chance to turn around, he wrapped his arms around my waist and placed his chin on the top of my head. "What are doing, standing here by yourself?"

Ever since Souji recovered from the measles, I noticed that he seemed to have an increasing appetite for physical contact, more specifically, an increased appetite for my touch. Whenever I was around, he would make the extra effort to grab me and keep me by his side. Never being one to deny anything he wanted, I just let him grab me whenever he wanted to. It made him happy and I loved seeing Souji smile.

Another little behavioral tick that Souji developed after the measles besides the grabbing was his obsessive need to place his face on my chest. While he was sick, I had let him rest his head against my chest, just like how a mother would comfort her sick child. But now that he was better, he refused to stop. Souji especially like to rub his face into my chest in front of Shinpachi-san, which always resulted in Shinpachi-san complaining: "It's not fair! How come Souji gets to do that?!" Souji would always just respond with a catlike grin before continuing. I guess I should be thankful that he doesn't do it in public or in front of Otou-san? Although, his behavior was probably all my fault to begin with. I should have stopped him when he began to stick his face on my chest, but I didn't. Ever since we were both children, I would always indulge him in whatever he wanted. I just couldn't bring myself to say no to Souji. Now that I think about it, I probably would have made a terrible mother. All my children would probably come out to be spoiled rotten.

"I was just examining the people in the Roshigumi." I explained to Souji as I reached back to rub his side affectionately. "Despite forming the Roshigumi to protect the shogun, there are an awfully large amount of people with Sonnō Jōi[1] sentiments here. Oh, did you eat yet?"

"Mmm, not yet." he answered before he released my waist and removed his chin from the top of my head, finally allowing me to face him. "I wanted to come get you first. Come on, let's go sit by Kondou-san." he said as he grabbed my hand and began leading me towards the others.

When we arrived where all the others were, the first thing that I saw was that Otou-san was practically vibrating in his seat. While he was originally hesitant about the trip, Otou-san now couldn't hide his excitement. It had always been his dream to wield a katana to serve the shogun, but he never could because of his original birth status. However, now he was in the Roshigumi where his dreams had the chance to come true. His excitement was so contagious that everyone surrounding him was in high spirits.

"Everybody eat up!" Otou-san cheered loudly as he held up the large box containing the large amount of rice balls. "We need to be at full strength when we arrive at Kyoto!"

"Yosh!" Shinpachi-san immediately agreed before he reached over and grabbed three rice balls with one hand. "If I want to be at full strength then I can't hold back now! Itadakimasu!"

"Oi! Shinpat-san! Don't just grab all of them at once!" Heisuke complained before he reached out himself to take one, only to have Sano-san whack his head. "Ouch! What was that for, Sano-san?!"

"First come, first serve." Sano-san said with a grin as he snatched up the rice ball Heisuke was reaching for and bit into it.

"HEY! That one was mine! You JERKS!"

I giggled as Heisuke rubbed the large bump that was forming on his head before I reached forwards with both my hands and grabbed two rice balls.

"Here, Heisuke." I said as I handed him one. "Don't let the other guys steal it."

"Oh! Thanks!" he exclaimed happily as he accepted the rice ball before he bit into it and said with a full mouth, "Why can't you guys be nice like Shizuka-chan?"

"Because she's too nice for her own good." Souji said nonchalantly with a grin before he grabbed my hand and brought it up to his mouth so he could bite into the other rice ball I was still holding.

"Hey! Get your own." I playfully said to Souji.

"I don't feel like it." he retorted mischievously and licked my finger purposely before he took another bite from my rice ball.

Otou-san laughed cheerfully at everyone's antics before he joined in and vigorously tore into his food.

* * *

After traveling smoothly for two whole days, the Roshigumi was now approaching the post town of Honjou-shuku. We had camped outside for the past night and since we were going to arrive at a location with inns, I was hoping that we could sleep in proper futons tonight.

"We're close to Honjou-shuku now." Kiyokawa said before he ordered, "Somebody run over to the inn and make reservations for all of us."

"I'll go, Sir." Otou-san instantly volunteered himself. He was eager please everyone.

After Otou-san receive a nod of approval from Kiyokawa, Otou-san eagerly ran ahead of the Roshigumi to the town's largest inn while the rest of us continued towards the town at a casual pace.

"Finally, a real bed to sleep in," Heisuke said while crossing his arms behind his head in a relaxed manner. "My back still hurts from sleeping on the ground yesterday night. I slept at the base of a tree last night and one of its roots was digging into my back the whole night."

Shinpachi-san grinned at Heisuke's statement before smacking him across the back, knocking Heisuke off balance. "Heisuke, real men don't complain about sleeping on the ground." Shinpachi-san teased.

"Hey!" Heisuke said as he prepared to ready to defend himself, but I cut in just as he opened his mouth.

"Just because he's complaining about sleeping on the ground doesn't mean he's not a real man." I started as a wry grin began to emerge on my face. Heisuke perked up the moment I defended him. "It just means he's an old man who complains about his terrible back." I finished with a mischievous smile. Everyone laughed as Heisuke hung his head in defeat.

"Aww, cheer up Heisuke." Sano-san said to Heisuke while laughing. "At least she said you were a real man."

"Let's walk faster. I can see the inn now and Kondou-san's waiting for us." Hijikata-san pointed at the fast approaching inn after we had all finished making fun of Heisuke. Heisuke was still pouting by the time we had all reached the inn. Otou-san was waiting for our arrival in front of the inn.

"Good. You reserved our rooms?" Kiyokawa asked Otou-san.

"Yes sir." Otou-san replied like a good soldier.

"Very well. I'll be heading up to my room now." Kiyokawa said as he took the small plank of wood with a room number from Otou-san before he started heading into the inn. "Pass out the room numbers to the rest of the men."

Otou-san quickly went about his task as he passed out the several room numbers to the men. However, it appeared that Otou-san had made a mistake. By the time Otou-san had reached Serizawa, there were no more room numbers to pass out.

"Well then," Serizawa said while looking furious, "where's my room number?"

Otou-san froze at Serizawa's question. Of all the people that Otou-san could forget to reserve a room for, it just had to be that man. Serizawa was not a man that anyone wanted to anger. The results would be disastrous.

"Ah… I may have forgotten to request a private room for Serizawa-dono." Otou-san admitted his mistake quietly in apologetic embarrassment.

"What?!" Serizawa spat, outraged by the simple honest mistake.

"It's only for one night. Surely Serizawa-san can share a room with someone tonight." Sannan-san tried to reason as he stepped in to try to mediate the situation.

"Me, share?! Do you know who I am?!" Serizawa snarled back while baring his teeth.

Before Otou-san could reply, Serizawa stomped off with some of his men running after him. Otou-san looked quite upset about his mistake. I walked over to Otou-san and hugged his arm lovingly.

"Don't worry about it, Otou-san." I assured him with a gentle smile. "You just made an honest mistake that anyone could have made. Just give Serizawa some time to calm down."

"Shizuka's right. There's no need to be so upset." Hijikata-san agreed with me. "Why don't we all go in and get some rest for now."

Otou-san smiled at our attempt and ushered all the remaining men inside.

* * *

I placed all my belongings down in my private room in the inn. As the only woman in the large group of two and hundred fifty men, there was just no way Otou-san was going to make me share rooms. It just wasn't appropriate nor was it very safe in his opinion. I was an unwed woman and was therefore easy pickings for anyone who wanted a woman's touch. Just as I was about to change into a sleeping robe that the inn provided, screams broke out from outside the inn which were followed by billows of black smoke floating my window. I could smell large amounts of smoke seeping in the window from outside. I grabbed my naginata and ran outside my room. All the others had the same idea. All our eyes met when we exited our respective rooms in the hallway before we rushed out the inn together.

The moment we all exited the inn, we were greeted with a massive wall of fire. A nearby building was engulfed in flames. At the base of the building stood Serizawa with a torch in his hand and a satisfied smirk. Don't tell me that he was the one that set the building aflame?

"Serizawa-dono, what are you doing?!" Otou-san yelled in disbelief. Was he really going that far over a room? Unbelievable…

"I understand that I don't have a room to stay in." Serizawa said smugly while acting like his horrid behavior was perfectly normal and justified. "Since it's early spring and still cold outside, surely starting a bonfire is justified."

I glared angrily at him after his remark while clenching my hands around the shaft of my naginata. This man was a complete and utter bastard. Even if he was angry at Otou-san, setting fire to someone else's building, someone who was completely unrelated to the inn incident, was completely uncalled for. If he wanted retribution, the very least he could have done was aim for Otou-san instead of some innocent bystander. This man, no this child, had a horrible character and absolutely no sense of morals. No real, respectable man would have taken this course of action. He was a mere child who threw a terrible temper tantrum when he did not receive what he wanted. He had set fire to the building because he believed that he had been disrespected. But because of what he had done, he will never receive the type respect that he craved so much. I would personally never give him my respect after witnessing such behavior.

After Serizawa finished speaking, everyone else behind Otou-san turned pale and started muttering to each other in horror. However, Souji reached for his sword. But before he could pull his sword out of it sheath, Souji was stopped by Hijikata-san, who had also reached for his sword. If Hijikata-san had not stopped Souji, then I have no doubt the situation would have ended with someone dead. Hijikata-san glared at Serizawa with open hostility. Ever since I had met Hijikata-san, I have never seen him show so much raw emotion. If his glare was sharp enough to kill, then Serizawa would have been completely decapitated. Even Souji's glare, which I found absolutely terrifying, was nothing compared to Hijikata-san's.

"STOP IT! TOSHI! SOUJI!" Otou-san ordered strictly before those two could do something that they would regret.

This was the first time I had ever heard Otou-san speak like this. Never in my life had I ever heard such a demand for authority and order. Otou-san was always kind and gentle, but none of those qualities remained in his voice. He sounded like a commander from the Sengoku Period, impossible to disobey and all-powerful. This new tone was enough to freeze both Hijikata-san and Souji in place. Both were startled by the amount of power in his tone. It almost seemed as if Otou-san's tone told them that if either of them moved to attack Serizawa, then Otou-san would attack them back in defense of Serizawa.

"Serizawa-dono's anger isn't unreasonable. I am to blame." Otou-san said with great shame to Serizawa before Otou-san got on both his hands and knees and did a dogeza[2] to apologize. "Serizawa-dono, I take full responsibility of this mistake. I sincerely beg your pardon."

As wise as it was for Otou-san to apologize to try to fix the situation, the damage couldn't be undone. An apology wouldn't put out the fire. An apology wouldn't give back what the innocent bystander lost. I turned around and yelled to all the men, who were watching the situation blankly, with the unbending authority that I had once utilized in the operating room in my past life.

"What are you all doing?! Go grab some buckets to put out this fire! All the surrounding buildings are flammable and we need to get this fire under control before it spreads!"

As soon as I finished yelling, all the men were startled into action, all of them so surprised that they didn't even stop to ask themselves why they were listening to me. I turned to Serizawa with an icy expression once all the men started putting out the fire.

"My room at the inn is a private room. If I give you my room, will you be satisfied then?" My voice was icy and as hard as steel.

"Heh!" the horrid man snorted while looking absolutely pleased. "Just like a good daughter to make up for your otou-san's mistake. At least the man could raise his daughter correctly."

"Making up for Otou-san mistake?" I asked snidely. Oh no, if he thought that was the case then he was horribly mistaken. "No, you're mistaken. Someone has to placate the child throwing the temper tantrum."

"What did you say?!" Serizawa roared as his temper returned with a vengeance.

"You heard what I said. Or is it that you're brain isn't developed enough to understand my words." I said, purposely fuelling Serizawa's rage.

"Shizuka!" Otou-san immediately reprimanded me to prevent me from antagonizing Serizawa any further. "Stop it!" Otou-san then turned to Serizawa and began to apologize. "Please forgive my daughter for her—"

"No." I interrupted Otou-san. "I am not here as your daughter. You don't get to apologize for what I say. I meant every word."

"You bitch!" Serizawa yelled in rage as he went to beat me with his iron fan.

I raised my naginata to block his iron fan as it came down on my weapon's shaft. Despite Serizawa's horrible disrespect for others, he was not actually someone that would beat women. Kill by cutting women down with his sword, yes. Beat to death, no. If he had the intention of killing right there, then he would have drawn his sword.

"You DARE raise your weapon against me?!" Serizawa growled as he pushed down with his fan with more force. Now that I had raised my weapon towards him, he was now probably wishing he had pulled his sword instead. "I am a samurai and you are a lowly peasant woman! I have EVERY right to cut you down where you stand! I already told you that the moment you mess up is the moment I dispose of you."

"Try me." I dared him confidently.

Serizawa may be stronger than I was, but there was more than one way to win a fight. I would make him rue the day he made an enemy out of me. While returning his glare, I pushed his iron fan off of my weapon before turned to return to the inn. I needed to remove my belongings from my previous room.

"Souji, I'm sleeping in your room tonight." I called over my shoulder calmly. In all honesty, I should have gone to sleep in Otou-san's room but I didn't want to deal with the lecture that Otou-san had undoubtedly planned for me. Souji's room was my safest option.

The people who weren't busy putting out the fire watched my back as I retreated back inside. Working quickly to move all my belongings before Serizawa entered the room, I tossed everything I owned haphazardly back into my bag before I hoisted it over my shoulder. On my way to Souji's room, I passed by Serizawa in the hallway. We walked by each other without even exchanging a glance.

* * *

"What were you thinking?!" Souji yelled at me the moment I arrived at his room with my belongings. "No, wait! You weren't thinking at all, were you?! You know that he's stronger than you! You know he's going to target you now!"

Souji then grabbed my shoulders and caused me to drop everything I was holding. He looked me in the eye franticly as he searched for an answer.

"Why would you purposely anger him?!" he asked when no answer revealed itself to him.

"Because I refuse to let his actions go unpunished." I answered seriously. "Innocent people lost all of their property tonight because of Serizawa's inability to cope with harmless, innocent mistakes. I don't need to be stronger than him to win. I already told you once when we were both children. There is more than one way to win a fight. And if I lose this fight, Serizawa will not be left unscathed. If I lose, I will take him down with me."

Sorrow and a hint of some other unknown emotion flooded into Souji's eyes when I gave him my answer. His shoulders sagged before he pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. I refuse to let Serizawa hurt innocent people as he pleased. I will not let him hurt my loved ones.

* * *

The previous cheer that everyone from Shieikan had the previous two days had all but evaporated at the events of last night. Otou-san and the Shieikan members spent the rest of the journey surrounding me in fear that Serizawa would be true to his word and cut me down. Their worry was unfounded. I knew Serizawa wouldn't cut me down while surrounded by so many others. He wouldn't risk raising the ire of Kiyokawa by stirring up discontent within the traveling troop. Most of the men in this troop were against killing women and if Serizawa did attempt to kill me then not only would he have an official displeased with him but an angry mob. If he killed me then he would have been killed in revenge.

When we were a few hours away from Kyoto, Serizawa wandered off while the Roshigumi was on break. When he returned to the group, he had a beaten young man draped over his shoulder. One of Serizawa's men, Niimi, ran to Serizawa's side.

"Serizawa-sensei, where have you been?" Niimi asked Serizawa.

"I had an unexpected surprise, that's all." Serizawa answered.

"Surprise?" Niimi asked before Serizawa dumped the injured young man on Niimi's back.

"Whoa! Master, who is this?" Another man, called Hirama, asked.

Sannan-san, who had been watching the whole exchange, cut into the conversation with a frown. "Wait. If you wish to add a traveling companion, wouldn't it be appropriate to have a word with us?"

"He's merely a dirty stray dog, not a companion. There's no need to consult over such a trivial matter." Serizawa retorted.

"However…" Sannan-san voiced before Otou-san joined the conversation.

"Oh well. It's alright, Sannan-kun. If we leave the young man like this, he'd starve to death anytime. Since we're summoned to protect the Emperor, we shouldn't abandon on of His Majesty's people to his fate." Otou-san reasoned. "Toshi, don't you think so?"

Hijikata-san looked at Serizawa with murderous intent before he answered Otou-san. "It's all the same to me. Whatever we say, he won't listen to us anyway."

Sannan-san straightened his glasses while looking dissatisfied. "…Well if Kondou-san and Hijikata-kun both say so, then it can't be helped."

"Kyoto isn't far ahead. Let's pick up the pace." Otou-san said to everyone as soon as the discussion was over. All the men behind Otou-san agreed before walking faster.

We walked for a few minutes in silence before Hijikata-san slowed down to my pace.

"When we arrive at Kyoto, stay next to one us." Hijikata-san said in a hushed whisper. "Don't give Serizawa-san a chance to catch you alone."

"I know." I answered confidently. "But I'm not so fragile that Serizawa can dispose me so easily."

* * *

[1] Sonnō jōi (尊皇攘夷 Revere the emperor, expel the barbarians) was a Japanese political philosophy and a social movement derived from Neo-Confucianism; it became a political slogan in the 1850s and 1860s in the movement to overthrow the Tokugawa Bakufu, during the Bakumatsu ("End of Bakufu") period.

[2] Dogeza (土下座 "sitting right on the ground") is an element of Japanese manners by kneeling directly on the ground and bowing to prostrate oneself as touching one's head to the floor.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

"Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: 'What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .'" ― C.S. Lewis, _The Four Loves_

While the Roshigumi was officially funded by the Bakufu officials to protect Lord Iemochi during his visit to Kyoto, Kiyokawa had other plans in mind. He had lied when he said that the Roshigumi was created for protecting the Tokugawa shogun in Kyoto and for preparing for military action against Western countries. His true purpose for the Roshigumi was to gather people to work with the Sonnō Jōi faction, not the Shogunate government. As soon as the Roshigumi arrived in Kyoto, Kiyokawa had almost immediately ordered everyone to turn around and return to Edo. During that short time in Kyoto, Kiyokawa had secretly submitted a letter to the Sonnō Jōi faction stating that his Roshigumi were to work only for the Emperor. Thirteen members, including the Shieikan faction and Serizawa's faction, dissented and decided to remain in Kyoto to fulfill the original purpose of the Roshigumi.

For all of those who refused to return to Edo, they had all traveled down to Kyoto in hopes of earning enough money to make a living and to make a name for themselves. Because they refused to leave, everyone that stayed behind was now stuck petitioning to the daimyo of the Aizu Domain for permission and support in completing the original mission of protecting the Shogun. The Roshigumi members that remained numbered only about thirteen people, if I didn't include myself, out of the original two hundred and fifty men. If the remaining Roshigumi were to complete the original mission, then more people would have to be recruited. However the future of the Roshigumi looked grim. There were too few members, no support to make the Roshigumi legitimate, and no funding. There was no way of knowing if the Roshigumi even had a future.

However, not everything was hopeless, while we were all waiting to see if the Aizu Domain would sponsor the Roshigumi, we were at least given a place to stay. Yagi Gennojô, a gôshi[1] living in Mibu village on the outskirts of Kyoto, was ordered to provide us lodging by the government. Another nearby estate, owned by the Maekawa family, was also commandeered for lodging by the Roshigumi. However, the Maekawa family was not as willing as the Yagi family and fled after the first few days. I didn't blame the Maekawa family from fleeing. Who would willingly want a bunch of dangerous ronin on their property? I think that one of the only reasons that the Yagi family were more willing to put up with us was because they saw me with Otou-san. The ronin couldn't be that threating if they had a woman with them, right? Either way, we all settled in and began the long process of petitioning the Aizu Domain for support while I was left taking care of the beaten young man that Serizawa had picked up days earlier when we were still on the road.

* * *

"Hey, Shizuka-chan, will this guy be alright?" Heisuke asked from behind as he looked on while I changed the bandages on the young man.

Despite being the one to pick up the young man, Serizawa immediately dumped the young man on Otou-san once we arrived at Kyoto. Since Otou-san was an overly nice person to begin with, he went ahead and accepted the task of caring for the injured young man, which meant the task fell to me because the young man was wounded. As much as I would have loved to refuse the task just to spite Serizawa, the only one that would suffer from that act would be the young man. The poor guy already suffered enough from his injuries and shouldn't have to suffer more because of the grudge I held against Serizawa.

"He's fine. All he has is a few abrasions and cuts, nothing too serious. He was probably punched and kicked around for a bit before he was mobbed." I answered as I disinfected the open cuts with some more saké before I bandaged up his wounds again. Pity I didn't have any salve to use on him right now. I didn't have any money to purchase any of the ingredients yet.

"Nothing too serious? But he looks so beat up." Heisuke exclaimed as he gapped at me with disbelief. "He hasn't even woken up yet and it's been three days."

"Just because he's blue, black, and purple all over doesn't mean he's going to die. He doesn't even have a single fractured bone or ruptured organ. The reason he hasn't woken up yet is because he probably hasn't eaten anything in a while." I said as I gestured to the injured young man, who by the way, happened to have blue hair. Just how did someone end up with blue hair? I was pretty sure he didn't dye it. Maybe it's a genetic mutation?

"Heisuke, I'm going to dispose of the all the used bandages now." I said to Heisuke as I stood up and grabbed the used bandages and jar of saké I was using to clean his cuts. "Keep an eye on him just in case he wakes up. When he wakes up, he's going to be in a lot of pain."

"Huh? You mean you didn't give him any painkillers?"

"Nope, I was feeling cheap." I deadpanned.

"Wah?!" Heisuke exclaimed as I left the room. "Isn't that a bit mean?!" he yelled after me as I left the room.

"No." I called back to him as I continued walking. "The real reason is because we have no money for ingredients to make painkillers."

We didn't have the money to purchase what I needed to make an effective painkiller. We were dead broke and even if the Aizu Domain did decide to sponsor us, we had no money at the current moment and we would have to find some way to support ourselves until then. An organization like the Roshigumi couldn't operate without any funding. And then, even if the Aizu Domain's daimyo did allow us to stay in Kyoto, I doubt he would give much money to fund a bunch of unknown ronin. The Roshigumi hadn't done anything to prove its worth yet. It would be a poor investment on the Aizu Domain's half if they fully funded the Roshigumi without knowing the Roshigumi's capabilities beforehand.

I returned to the kitchen to return the unused saké back to its original location before I headed to the disposal area at the far end of the yard and placed the bandages in the garbage disposal to be incinerated later. I would take care of the incineration myself later. The Yagi family were nice enough to us and the least we could do was clean up after ourselves.

"There you are, Shizu-chan." Otou-san's voice called from behind. I turned to see Otou-san with Hijikata-san and Sannan-san on the roka[2] of the house. It looks like they had just finished their meeting. "So how's the young man?" Otou-san voiced his concern for the young man's wellbeing.

"He's fine. He had a good chance of surviving even if we didn't pick him up." I said while putting one hand on my hip. "Despite being all beat up, he has a sturdy frame. He's not someone who dies easily."

"I see…" Otou-san said as he got lost in his thoughts.

"So we could have just left him there like Sannan-san said." Hijikata-san said as an afterthought.

"Now, now, Toshi, Sannan-kun, we shouldn't leave a civilian when we can help him, right?" Otou-san replied to Hijikata-san with a friendly grin.

"Well, if Kondou-san says so…" Sannan-san said before he began to head back into the house. Otou-san and Hijikata-san moved to follow Sannan-san back in the house.

"Wait." I called out to Otou-san before he entered the house. "Do you know where Souji is? He's been moody lately."

Hijikata-san answered me just as Otou-san opened his mouth to speak. "He's by the well. Don't you think you spoil him too much? He's only moody because you've been ignoring him in order to take care of the injured guy."

It was true that Souji never took it too well when I started spending more time with other people, but it use to never be this bad. Now Souji was always upset when I spent "too much time" with someone that wasn't him and what he counted as "too much time" was a really short amount of time. Souji now even got upset when I spent lengthy amounts of time with Heisuke, Shinpachi-san, or Sano-san alone, which never use to happen. Whenever Heisuke, Shinpachi-san, or Sano-san were alone with me for more than fifteen minutes now, Souji would swoop in and chase them off. Although, that only happened with Sano-san once. Sano-san just smiled at Souji slyly and smugly before he ran off when Souji appeared to chase him off. What was going on with Souji these days? He never use to be this possessive.

When I found Souji, he was leaning against the well just like Hijikata-san said he was. Souji was wearing an annoyed expression as he fingered the handle of his katana.

"Souji." I called over to him sweetly as I waved at him. When he heard me, his face snapped up to where I was and he smiled brightly before he jogged over to where I was standing.

"Finished?" he asked eagerly.

"For today." I said as I smiled at him, but his face darkened at my answer. My smile slipped from my face before I asked him concernedly, "Why are you so irritated anyways? I get that you like to spend time with me, but I've only been taking care of his wounds for three days now."

"Three days is long enough." Souji huffed in annoyance before he let out a long sigh and reached out to sweep a stray strand of hair behind my ear with a small smile.

"Come on." I said as I took his hand and tugged on it while smiling back at him again. "Let's go find Sano-san and Shinpachi-san. I have Heisuke watching over the injured guy right now, so we have time to train."

"Both Sano-san and Shinpachi-san are at the Mibu temple right now." Souji said with an amused chuckle before he guided me to the temple.

* * *

Hands ruffled my hair we were returning to the Yagi house after our little training session. The sun was just starting to set and I needed to run off to go start preparing dinner soon.

"Looks like our little Shizuka-chan can now hold her own now in a fight." Shinpachi-san said proudly with a grin.

"Of course she can, just take a look at who's been training her." Souji stated with pride. These guys were talented in many skills, flattering above all. I was getting better at naginatajutsu, but I could be better. Growth was slow and I still needed to figure out why I stopped improving as much as I once did.

Sano-san caught a glimpse of the unbelief on my face and grinned. "Looks like she doesn't believe you guys. She thinks we're just flattering her." Sano-san said as he poke my cheek playfully. "Too bad Saito isn't here. She'd believe him if he was the one to tell her these things."

"Of course I would. Saito-san is the only one who wouldn't waste his time saying pointless things." I snorted. "You guys, on the other hand, are great when it comes to flattering people."

"Hey, I resent that statement." Souji replied with a playful pout as he lightly tugged at my other cheek. I waved Sano-san's and Souji's hands away in annoyance as we approached the Yagi house.

As we came closer to the Yagi house, I noticed that Heisuke was in the front waiting for us. He called us all over as soon as he saw us.

"Hey!" Heisuke yelled when he saw us. "That injured guy woke up a few hours ago. He ate the porridge Gen-san brought him before he fell asleep again."

So the guy woke up already? I honestly thought he would be unconscious a bit longer. While his injuries weren't severe, he was pretty weak from the lack of food. He'll have to eat a lot to have the energy to recover quickly.

"Could he sit up by himself?" I asked Heisuke.

"No, he needed some help." Heisuke explained.

"Well that's to be expected since he's not on any painkillers. I should be able to give him a sponge bath tomorrow to—" I managed to say before Souji looped one arm around my waist and interrupted me by pulling me to his side.

"Heisuke can wipe him down tomorrow. You don't need to do anything." Souji said as the annoyed expression from this afternoon resurfaced.

"Eh?! Why me?!" Heisuke cried, but Souji ignored him.

"I think I should still be the one to do it." I said while looking up at Souji. His grip on my waist tightened as I spoke. "Men giving other men baths just seems a bit too weird in my mind."

"Gah! Why would you word it like that?!" Shinpachi-san yelped with a disgusted expression. Sano-san just sighed in exasperation before scratching the back of his head.

"So you're saying you should be the one to wipe him down because you're a woman?" Souji asked while looking completely unimpressed.

"I'm just saying that it would seem less strange." I stated plainly, but that didn't satisfy Souji.

"Any man would enjoy it if it was a woman giving him a bath." Souji countered my statement. "He isn't here for pleasure."

"He's in too much pain to feel any pleasure." I argued with reason. "Pleasure should be the last thing on his mind."

Souji's eyebrow twitched at my answer before he rejected it. "You're going to be too busy tomorrow to give him a bath, so Heisuke will take care of it." he declared firmly.

"Too busy with what?" I asked in confusion. What did Souji mean by that? I had nothing planned for tomorrow.

"Too busy helping me with something."

"Define this something."

"Shizuka, just listen to Souji and let Heisuke take care of the injured guy." Sano-san interrupted the debate. "No man would want his woman giving another man a bath."

There Sano-san went again about "his woman". I didn't understand why Sano-san kept calling me Souji's woman. Maybe because Souji and I always called each other partners? It was a remnant from our days as children together and we never really grew out of the old habit. However, when Sano-san called me Souji's woman, instead of denying it like he always did before, Souji remained quiet and stared down at me.

"Okay." I sighed in defeat before I looked up again at Souji with a small smile. "So what are we going to do tomorrow?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow. Now shouldn't you be cooking dinner right about now?" Souji said with a triumphant grin before escorting me to the kitchen. "Let's go. I'll help you with dinner tonight."

"But you make everything too salty." I said as I allowed Souji to drag me off.

* * *

It turned out that Souji didn't just not allow me to go back and care for the wounded guy the next day, but for the rest of two weeks. Poor Heisuke was stuck taking care of the injured guy for the whole time. I wondered if Heisuke ever got his name.

"I wonder if that guy's okay now." I pondered out loud. It has been two weeks after all.

Souji, who was sitting on the roka near where I was sweeping the floor, gave me a displeased look. "You shouldn't waste your time worrying about him, Shizuka."

"Hey, Souji?" I stopped sweeping the floor and looked at him.

"Hm?"

"Why have you become so possessive lately? You were always possessive before, but now..."

In fact, he barely lets me out of his sight now when we were at headquarters and when he wasn't busy with something. Oh! Maybe it was because Serizawa threatened me on our way to Kyoto? However, I thought Souji was going a bit overboard. It's not like I couldn't defend myself. So far I've avoided Serizawa just fine. He also didn't seem to care too much that I was here after he settled down. He probably thought of me the way he thought of a gnat, annoying but relatively harmless.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." he denied before changing the subject. "By the way, I know you've antagonized Serizawa-san, but it's surprising you haven't done anything else to him. You usually act quickly in these situations."

What Souji said was true, but this situation was different from all the others. The remnants of the Roshigumi were now trying to get the Aizu Domain to sponsor them. As much as I despised Serizawa, he was the only one who had the connections that could get the Roshigumi the sponsorship that it needed to survive. So as much as I wanted to chase Serizawa off, I couldn't.

"This situation is a bit different from all the previous ones." I explained to him before I trotted over to where he was sitting so I could take a seat next to him. "Serizawa is currently the only one that has a chance of getting the Aizu Domain to sponsor us right now. If we don't get a Domain to sponsor us right now then we'll have to leave Kyoto."

Souji nodded, accepting my reasoning before I continued. "So right now, it would be a bad idea to agitate him. But after he's done his job, then his purpose is over and everything is fair game."

"So you're just using him. Well, let me know when you're about to begin. Serizawa's a dangerous man and I don't want you to be alone when you begin." Souji said before he nuzzled the top of my head affectionately with his nose.

It was comfortable staying next to Souji like this. It had been a while since we were able to enjoy each other's company alone like this, so I just sat next to Souji and rested my head on his shoulder. We fell into a comfortable silence for about half an hour before Souji shot up from his sitting position.

"Souji?" I asked in confusion as I sat up straight again

"Stay here Shizuka." he said calmly before walking towards the well.

At the well, the blue-haired man was washing his face. He certainly looked a lot better than before. The bruises that once littered his face were gone and he had no more open cuts. The blue-haired, young man was the very picture of health now that he recovered. But I didn't like the way Souji was stalking towards him. It felt like Souji had something nasty planned for the young man. I had a bad feeling about this.

As Souji reached the young man, Souji shoved the young man away from the well. The unfortunate guy landed on his behind and yelled back without standing back up at Souji after regaining his senses from the fall.

"Who the heck are you?! And what's that for?!" the blue-haired man yelled as he jumped up to his feet and sent a heated glare at Souji.

"Who am I? That's some way to say hello. Don't you know it's proper manners to introduce yourself before asking someone else for his name?" Souji answered back in a condescending tone as he leaned back to sit on the rim of the well.

"What are you talking about!?" the young man raised his voice even more. "You're the one who shoved me from behind!"

"It's your fault for standing in the way." Souji retorted as he smirked darkly. "This well is not yours alone."

"Wasn't it obvious that I was washing my face?! Can't you wait for a moment?!"

This wasn't going to end well if someone didn't stop Souji. I think Souji was only bullying the poor guy because he was pissed at the blue-haired man for taking up my time. I jumped to my feet once more so I could head over to stop Souji, but before I could even take one step forward, Sannan-san appeared behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Let me handle this. Okita-kun will lash out more if Shizuka-chan is the one that stops him." Sannan-san told me with a kind smile before he went over to handle the situation just as Souji was about to draw his blade on the poor guy.

"Okita-kun, why don't you let it drop?" Sannan-san said to make his presence known. "Hijikata-san will yell up a storm if you two get too rowdy."

"Rowdy? What a thing to say, Sannan-san." Souji said as he got off the well. "He's the one that started it."

The blue-haired guy didn't look all too happy at the accusation.

"And you're the one that set him up." Sannan-san replied calmly before turning to face the young man. "You're the one that Serizawa rescued, are you not? Have you recovered from your injuries?"

"Yeah..." the young man answered before asking, "Where is that Serizawa guy right now?"

"He is currently out right now. I believe he will be back later tonight." Sannan-san answered kindly.

"So he's currently out, huh?"

"What do you need with Serizawa-san?" Sannan-san asked as he pushed on the bridge of his glasses to readjust it.

"I was told to thank him before I left." explained the young man.

"You're leaving? Good!" Souji cut into the conversation with annoyance. "I was worried that you'd stick around and be a nuisance. But if you're going to thank your benefactors, then shouldn't you thank Kondou-san?"

"Kondou-san?" the young man asked, completely unaware of who Souji was talking about.

"He's the highest-ranking person in the Roshigumi." Souji explained with pride.

"I can show him to Kondou-san." Sannan-san offered. "Okita-kun, please go do some sword practice. You haven't been practicing seriously since we came here. Your senses will go blunt."

"Can't be. It's only been half a month." Souji said.

"Just go. It's not a request, but an order." Sannan-san said sternly.

"Oh well. I suppose it'll be alright if Sannan-san watches over him. However, if anything happens to Kondou-san, even if it's Sannan-san, I won't forgive you. Please remember that." Souji said bluntly before he returned to where I was standing. "Come on, Shizuka." he said as he placed a hand on my back before gently pushing. "Let's go. The floor is clean enough here."

"Who's that?" I heard the young man ask Sannan-san as both Souji and I walked away.

"That is Shizuka, Kondou-san's daughter. She's probably the reason Okita-kun was picking on you earlier."

"Hah?!" the young man exclaimed before following Sannan-san.

As soon as Souji and I got far enough not to be seen by anyone, I cuffed him lightly on the back of his head with the broom I was still holding.

"Ow! What was that for?!" Souji complained before rubbing where I hit him.

"You know what for." I scolded him. I didn't approve of his behavior just earlier. "You can go train by yourself. I'm going to find Heisuke to get information on our guest." Souji just merely pouted at my scolding.

* * *

Heisuke, Shinpachi-san, and Sano-san were with me in the kitchen while I cooked dinner. The three men came into the kitchen to see what was for dinner a few minutes earlier. I couldn't find any of them earlier during the day, so I was now asking for information regarding our guest.

"So his name is Ibuki Ryunosuke," I said, digesting the information that Heisuke gave me while I checked on the miso soup. It was pretty much done, like the rest of dinner. "So did he tell you anything else besides his name?" I asked.

"Nope, but he was pretty rude until Sano bashed him on the head." Shinpachi-san answered instead.

"There's nothing a good blow to the head won't fix." Sano-san added. I guess I can sort of agree? Well, unless the hit caused a concussion, that would have been counterproductive.

"You bastard!" A loud yell broke the peaceful calm atmosphere of headquarters. We all turned our heads towards the direction of that explosive yell. "Do you realize whom you're speaking to?!"

That sounded like Serizawa. Just who was he yelling at this time?

"How dare you take that tone with me?!" Serizawa continued to roar.

We all looked at each other before simultaneously deciding to head to the scene. When we got there, we saw Serizawa move to bash Hijikata-san on the head with the iron fan, but the fan stopped when it was a few centimeters away from inflicting damage. Looking around to survey the situation, I saw that everyone had the same idea to rush to the scene when they heard the yelling, even the blue-haired guy from before was here.

"Why didn't you dodge?" Serizawa asked Hijikata-san. "Did you assume that I was going to stop?"

Hijikata-san glared back with a frightening expression. "I wasn't going to dodge regardless of whether you stopped or not. I didn't say anything wrong."

Serizawa huffed before he withdrew his fan and started to walk past Hijikata-san, but stopped when he was next to Hijikata-san. "It would hardly inconvenience us if we were to stop working together. If you don't like my methods, you're free to return to Edo whenever you like."

As soon as Serizawa finished, he continued on his way. Serizawa's men, who were with him, quickly scrambled after him as soon as he left.

"Are you alright, Hijikata-kun?" Sannan-san asked after a moment of silence.

"Sannan-san?" Hijikata-san said in slight surprise when he turned and saw everyone. "What? Everyone's here?"

Otou-san answered in everyone's stead. "We heard Serizawa's voice and thought there was trouble again."

"Whether there's trouble or not," Hijikata-san said while walking over to us, "that man will clash with others simply by being alive."

"Although I am sure that is true, you must improve at shrugging off his antics." Sannan-san said calmly. "Just look at Shizuka-chan. She ignores most of what Serizawa-san does now, unlike before."

I wouldn't say that, Sannan-san. I was just merely waiting for the right moment to strike.

"He'll have to die and be reborn at least once for that to happen." Hijikata-san huffed in annoyance before he looked directly at me. "And I wouldn't say Shizuka's gotten better at shrugging off Serizawa. It's more like she's waiting for the right moment to attack him."

So he knew all along. Hijikata-san knew me too well.

"Seriously?!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed in surprise.

"Hijikata-san knows me so well." I said with a small, sly smile. "But you know, Serizawa can die a billion times and still be the same. People don't change that easily." Trust me, I would know.

Hijikata-san let out a tired sigh before he noticed Ibuki. "Who are you?" Hijikata-san asked. "You aren't a guest of Yagi-san's, are you?"

Hijikata-san didn't recognize Ibuki as the guy that was picked up on the way to Kyoto. He never took the time to get a proper look at Ibuki to begin with.

"I'm…" Ibuki began before Otou-san spoke up.

"It's the guy that collapsed on his way here. He said he wanted to thank Serizawa-san and has been waiting for his return."

"Makes sense." Hijikata-san said before he averted his gaze.

Shinpachi-san and Heisuke, who were both standing in front of Ibuki, turned around to face Ibuki.

"Hey, Ryunosuke. Looks like Serizawa-san's had a lot to drink. Wouldn't it be best if you waited until tomorrow to thank him?" Shinpachi-san suggested.

"Yep, yep!" Heisuke agreed. "Serizawa-san can't hold his alcohol worth squat."

"But…" Ibuki began before Otou-san spoke up again.

"Okay, for now let's go back inside and have dinner."

"Sounds good." Souji agreed before everyone started to head inside. Sano-san grabbed Ibuki and pushed him in the house.

The next day I found out that Ibuki-kun was going to stay with us longer, by the courtesy of Serizawa.

"He said he'd keep you here as his dog?" Heisuke asked Ibuki-kun while looking extremely put off. "What a horrible thing to say!"

Ibuki-kun, Heisuke, Sano-san, Shinpachi-san, and I were gathered near the well in the morning as we discussed the new developments. Poor, unfortunate Ibuki-kun. He just had the worst luck, didn't he? He had to stay here and repay Serizawa for "saving" his life.

"But I could see him saying that." Sano-san said from his seat on the well.

"He's the most renowned member of the Roshigumi," Shinpachi-san added before averting his gaze while scratching the back of his head, "but he can be hard to handle in more ways than one."

"But he treats you decently enough." I said to Shinpachi with a frown. "However, that man treats the rest of us like gnats."

"Well, that's because they both use the Shindō Mugen-ryū style." Sano-san said as he pat my head affectionately. "But I'd have to agree with Shizuka. That man thinks of us as nothing more than mere insects."

"But are you okay with this?" Heisuke asked Ibuki-kun.

"Sure." Ibuki-kun said flatly with a shrug of his shoulder. "It's not like I had somewhere to go anyway. I just figured that things would work out once I made it to Kyoto."

"Shizuka." a voice suddenly called me from behind. I turned around to see Souji standing on the roka as he waved me over to him. "Kondou-san needs some help sorting out his papers, so he asked me to come find you."

"Ah, coming!" I called back before I scurried over to Souji so he could escort me to Otou-san's room.

* * *

[1] Gôshi ("countryside/village warrior") were Edo period samurai who remained situated in the countryside rather than residing in castle towns. This was possible only in a few parts of the archipelago, including chiefly in the Satsuma Domain, which had the highest samurai to non-samurai ratio of any domain, and which was powerful enough to exact from the Tokugawa shogunate exceptions to policies such as that removing samurai from the land. Gôshi could also be peasants or commoners who have been granted certain privileges of the samurai, similar to goyô shônin, such as the right to bear swords, the right to audience with the lord, or the right to use of a family name in official documents, albeit without being actually made members of the samurai class.

[2] A wooden walkway that surrounds the whole (detached) house like a porch. The roka can also be closed with wooden sliding panels, but the actual 'facade' is placed inward, consisting of sliding doors called shoji


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

"That was one of the saddest things about people—their most important thoughts and feelings often went unspoken and barely understood." ― Alexandra Adornetto, _Halo_

"Oh? Where are you going so early in the morning, Shizuka-san?" I heard a woman's voice as I prepared to sneak out of headquarters early in the morning. I had my naginata strapped to my back and my new surgical kit in my arms.

"I'm heading out to gather some information before anyone else wakes up." I turned to tell the owner of the voice. The woman's name was Yagi Masa, the wife of Yagi-san.

"Are you sure you want to go out by yourself?" Masa-san voiced her concern as she looked at me worriedly. "Kyoto is rather dangerous nowadays."

"I'll be fine. Thank you for your concern Masa-san, but I know how to avoid trouble." I assured her before politely bowing and left for the city. Luckily it was only Masa-san that discovered me heading out to the city alone. If it had been Otou-san or any of the guys then I would have been given an earful before being sent to my room.

Since Kyoto's streets were filled with ronin, none of the guys would let me leave unless I had an escort. I understood that it was dangerous times and that if possible, one should never leave without a partner, but I felt like I had to do this alone. The night before, I had put together a plan to remove Serizawa from his position in the Roshigumi and I feared that if he found out about the existence of such a plan then he would aim for the one responsible. Serizawa already hated me so I didn't think it would be a real loss if he aimed his ire at me, but I refused to let any of the others get caught in the crossfire. If Serizawa would to try to dispose of anyone, then it should be me alone.

Last night when I was developing a plan to remove Serizawa, I had to analyze the situation. Just what was it that made Serizawa beneficial to the Roshigumi and what made him detrimental? Otou-san and Hijikata-san could not dispose of Serizawa because of the connections he held with the Aizu Domain's influential officials. Serizawa was the only one currently able to get the Aizu Domain to sponsor the Roshigumi. But other than his connections that we were reliant upon, what else made Serizawa vital to the Roshigumi? The answer would be his ability to raise money for the organization. Everyone from Shieikan had no status or connections they could rely upon to raise money and would have to continue to rely on Serizawa. But what if we could match Serizawa's ability to raise money? With Serizawa's personality type, the way he would most likely go about raising money would be through threats and force, which I don't doubt that he already started doing. If I could find a way to outcompete Serizawa using nonviolent methods then everyone would rely on my methods rather than Serizawa's. Serizawa would be rendered useless, but that in itself would not be enough to dispose of him. The second part of my plan would be the easiest part. Because of the way Serizawa always behaved, he was a public nuisance. He was violent, always causing public disturbances, and in general, was always stirring up some kind of trouble. Instead of doing trying to prevent him on going on his frequent rampages or do damage control on the problems he makes, Serizawa should just be let loose to act however he wanted. If Serizawa was a useless troublemaker, then it shouldn't take too much effort to remove him. That type of combination of traits would prove fatal to anyone and even his high social standing would do little to protect him. A useless troublemaker in the end would just be a useless nuisance, regardless of status. Keeping Serizawa around at that point would just be pointless and detrimental to the Roshigumi and removal would be imminent.

While this did seem like a good plan to me, the plan was not completely foolproof. The second part of the plan was the Achilles Heel. There was also a good chance that Serizawa would not cause enough trouble by himself. His high social standing was fairly solid and there could be a chance that Serizawa would not cause himself enough damage to warrant removal. If that was the case, then I would need to find some outside source to make his reputation tank enough to affect those influential officials he was connected with. If enough people in Kyoto talked about how detrimental and damaging Serizawa was to Kyoto then the officials that were somehow linked to Serizawa would order his removal in order to save face.

Hmm… then again, maybe I should just go with the easier plan of poisoning him? No, I might be able to remove Serizawa that way, but I would probably doom myself too when the officials figured out who poisoned him. I would be treated as a criminal by law enforcement then promptly executed. I was going to remove Serizawa without actually raising my hand to him. If my plan worked then his disposal would be my fault but at the same time no one would be able to punish me for doing anything wrong since I would've technically done nothing directly to Serizawa.

So, just how would I raise money for the Roshigumi if I didn't have the same connections or status to rely on like Serizawa did? I would raise money by using the skills I brought over to this life from my previous life. I was a highly trained surgeon, a doctor by trade. Kyoto was a large city and all large cities had their population of the sick and the injured. I could raise money through performing surgeries and treating the ill. Now that I had the appropriate tools to conduct surgeries, thanks to Tsune-san, I could sell my skills to the public to bring in cash. Medical treatment that worked, like in the future, was expensive and I was sure I could earn the money needed for the Roshigumi to function properly. With most of the money going to the Roshigumi's funds, some of the other revenue brought in would also be used to expand the amount of medical equipment I had access to. The more medical equipment I had access to, then the more possible it would become for me to start doing more complex surgeries, which, in turn, would bring in more revenue. This positive feedback loop[1] would be vital to creating enough income to run the Roshigumi. What I had to do now was look for the people with money in Kyoto that had some sort of injury I could fix. If I had to aim for certain people in the population, then the owner of a bank would be a prime target. My hunting ground would be the business sector of Kyoto's main streets.

The morning was still young, so most people were just getting prepared for the day. The streets were still fairly empty. It might have been more optimal to start my search later in the day, but if I left headquarters any later than I originally did, then I would have had one of the guys shadowing my every move and I would be unable to do what I set out to accomplish. Today I would most likely have to spend all morning and part of the afternoon watching for any potential targets. I hope the guys wouldn't be mad that I'm not there to cook breakfast and lunch. But I'm sure they could survive two meals without me.

Hours passed as I watched from my bench at a tea house for any potential targets and it was in the Hour of the Serpent[2] that I found one. A young boy, probably around the age of eight, was slowly running behind the other children playing on the streets. He ran with a curious limp that most likely was the result of a broken tibia that never healed properly. The injury wasn't a life threatening injury, but it was serious enough in this era. An injury that impeded normal movement of the body would seriously limit what the boy could do in the future and cut down on any possible jobs he could do as an adult. This should be enough for the boy's parents to worry about his future and look for treatment options.

"Takumi!" the boy's mother called as she ran out of a nearby shop. "How many times do I have to tell you not to run on that leg? You might make the injury worse."

"But I want to play with the other kids, Kaa-san! Why don't you ever let me have any fun?" the boy complained to his mother after she had caught up to him and stopped him from running.

"You know you can't afford to have that leg get any worse than it already is."

"It doesn't matter! I'm going to be a merchant like Tou-san is in the future, so why does it matter how well I can walk?"

"With the way inflation is rising right now, the future is uncertain. There is no guarantee that you will be able to become a merchant like your otou-san."

Excellent, so the boy's family was a family of merchants. They also look rather well off too, if their clothing was anything to go by. While the target was not related to anyone that owned a bank, it was a good enough start. Deciding this was the opportunity I was waiting for, I made my move.

"Umm, excuse me?" I asked gently, playing the role of a concerned young woman that just happened to pass by. "I noticed that your son had difficulty keeping up with the other children due to his injury. Have you had any doctors look at that leg yet?" I asked as I slowly approached the two.

The mother looked at me before she answered amicably, "Yes, but none of the medication any of the doctors have prescribed have worked." She sighed afterwards, "Maybe this injury is just too severe for doctors to fix."

"I wouldn't say so. The doctors just have been trying to fix the leg using the wrong methods." I said to the woman.

"Really?" she said in surprise. "Do you know of a doctor that can fix this?" she asked hopefully.

"I know how to fix the leg. It wouldn't be my first time either." I answered. Yes, this wouldn't be the first time if I counted my previous life.

"You're a doctor?" she asked, looking even more surprised than before. "I thought you were the daughter of a samurai because of the naginata you're carrying."

"Yes, I'm a doctor." I laughed good-naturedly. "I only have this naginata because a close friend of mine didn't want me in Kyoto without any way of defending myself. I'm nowhere close to having samurai blood in my veins."

"Oh." the woman said with realization before asking. "So how would you fix the leg?"

"Your son's leg never healed properly after he broke it, right?" The woman nodded as a response to my question. "For the leg to heal properly, the bone must be broken again and then held in place by pins to heal straight. It might sound scary, but this operation is rather simple and has minimal risk because of your son's young age."

"You said that you've done this before. Has the operation always been successful?"

"I've never failed once." I stated proudly. "I can perform the same operation if you are willing to pay for my skills and the supplies needed. In fact, if you can purchase all the materials then I could even operate today."

"Why don't you come inside the store so we could discuss the details inside with my husband? Come along Takumi, we might just get that leg fixed!" the woman said with good cheer as she ushered me and her son into the store.

* * *

The boy's father had consented to the operation near immediately after a short explanation. Both parents were desperate for their son to have a normal life and immediately paid me and went to purchase the needed materials. I operated on the boy's leg that same day and by the time I was finished, it was the Hour of the Monkey[3]. As I was walking back to the headquarters, I spotted Ibuki-kun walking back to headquarters while carrying a jar of saké over his shoulders. Serizawa probably had Ibuki-kun go out and buy the saké. That drunkard wasted too much money on his own pleasures. A sip of alcohol every once in a while was good for the body but at the rate Serizawa was drinking, I was surprised he didn't have liver failure yet.

"Ibuki-kun!" I called out to him before I jogged to catch up. "Are you heading back now?"

"Wah! It's you!" he cried in surprise as he nearly dropped the jar. "Where have you been?! Hijikata-san asked Sano, Shinpachi, and Heisuke to look for you while they were out patrolling the streets!"

"So I see." I responded with an innocent smile. He gave me the stink eye before he suddenly panicked.

"Gah!" he yelled in sudden realization. "I shouldn't even be talking to you! Okita will beat me up again if he knows I've been speaking to you!" Ibuki-kun exclaimed loudly before picking up his pace. He wanted to put distance between us in case Souji saw us walking together.

"Aw, don't be so mean. Let's walk back together." I said with an annoying cheerfulness as I tagged along behind him. Maybe if I reappeared with Ibuki-kun then I wouldn't get scolded as much by everyone.

"Ah! Don't follow me!"

"But were going same way anyways." I said with a grin at Ibuki-kun's panicked expression when he noticed I sped up to keep the same pace as him. "Besides, think of what he would do to you if he found out that you let me walk around Kyoto alone."

"That's so cruel of you…" Ibuki-kun whimpered before he started to slowly drag his feet.

* * *

Both Ibuki-kun and I heard the sound of wooden swords clashing when neared the Mibu temple. With our curiosities tickled, we both went to look around the gate to see who was sparring at this time. It was Souji and Saito-san?

No way! Was that truly Saito-san? What was he doing in Kyoto? I had honestly thought that I would never see him again after he disappeared back in Edo. When did he get here?

Ibuki-kun paused to watch the spar with me. Both Souji and Saito-san were facing each other, each as still as stone statues. Souji suddenly made the first move. He brought his bokken above his head and swung it downwards towards Saito-san only to have it blocked. Saito-san pushed the wooden sword off of his own before Souji quickly shifted into a forwards thrust. Saito-san then stepped slightly to the right to dodge the attack before bringing his bokken down in a downwards slash. To dodge the attack, Souji spun out of the way and leapt back to create some space between them.

"Most impressive, Hajime-kun. You don't let a moment's weakness slip by." Souji complemented with a happy grin Saito-san before both men resumed with frontal attacks.

Both men swung their wooden swords at each other the same time only to become locked together. Seeing no way of being able to overpower the other, both men separated their attacks and leapt back once again.

"You're still the same as ever. Just the fact you're left-handed makes you all the harder to lunge at." Souji continued from his earlier complement.

"And it would seem you've improved upon your suri-ashi[4] side step as well." Saito-san replied calmly and confidently.

"I bet you're going to be unbeatable, even here in Kyoto." Souji said before Saito-san got back into a forward thrust stance.

Saito-san managed to launch two forward thrusts at Souji before Souji pushed him back with an attack of his own. Both men then brought their wooden swords over their heads to attack each other. At the last moment, Saito-san performed a quick side step and landed a hit on Souji's left side, thus ending the match. Souji still had his bokken held over his head when Saito-san had landed that hit. An expression of disbelief at the hit was present on Souji's face before it faded into one of resignation.

"You got… one in." Souji said with a somewhat strained smile. Souji could never take defeat well.

Both men backed away from each other with their wooden swords in their left hands before bowing in respect to each other.

"Hey, Hajime-kun. Have you changed the way you lunge?" Souji suddenly questioned. "Did you undergo training at a different dojo or something?"

Saito-san answered calmly. "No, I don't believe I have changed my style."

"Hmm…" Souji said as he didn't quite believe what Saito-san said. But Souji was right, something had changed. Saito-san's lunge now had a more lethal quality to it.

I decided to interrupt the two's conversation. The questions could come later. After all, Saito-san, who was like family to me, was back. I seriously thought I would never see him again.

"Saito-san!" I called out excitedly before slamming into his side and engulfing him in a tight hug. "When did you get here? Are you staying with us?" I asked while bouncing up and down with a happy smile.

Instead of answering me, Saito-san just stared at me with wide eyes. He didn't seem to know what to do when a young woman was attached to his side.

"He just got here and he's staying with us." Souji answered me instead. He didn't seem too happy to see me attached to Saito-san like this. "But of course, you would have known if you actually stayed at the Yagi house like you were supposed to." he said with narrowed eyes as he pried me off of Saito-san. "Where did you go anyways?"

"I was out with Ibuki-kun." I answered with a bright smile before pointing to Ibuki-kun, who was in the middle of sneaking off.

"Oh?" Souji said with a dark smile before he sped over to where Ibuki-kun was and forcefully grabbed Ibuki-kun around the shoulders. "So you decided to take Shizuka with you?"

"N-no! You've got it all wrong!" Ibuki-kun cried in panic before yelling at me. "Don't tell him lies! I don't want to die yet!"

This was too much fun.

"So you're calling Shizuka a liar? Both of you did return together." Souji said, his voice dripping with venom. Saito-san just sighed and stared at me through the corner of his eye while I smiled slyly back at him. He was already use to my antics.

"N-no! The only reason we returned together is because we ran into each other outside! I-I didn't want her to walk back by herself because it was dangerous!" Ibuki-kun tried to explain in a flurry panic as he tried to inch away from his assailant.

"Hmm… well I guess you did alright." Souji released Ibuki-kun when the explanation was accepted. "But remember, I'm watching you."

Ibuki-kun ran away from the temple as fast as he could after he was released.

"So what were you doing?" Souji asked while looking down at me after he returned to where Saito and I were standing.

"Hmm… I wonder…" I said while adopting a pondering look.

"Huh? You're not going to tell me?" Souji raised his eyebrow at me in slight surprise.

"Nope. You'll find out later." I winked at him. Souji just frowned at me before poking my cheek.

Saito-san, at that moment, decided to end our conversation. "If you were out all day without telling anyone, then we should return to the Yagi house now to put an end to Hijikata-san's worrying."

* * *

"Ow!" I cried as Hijikata-san cuffed me on the back of my head with his hand. The moment he saw me walk in the house, he whacked me.

"Just what were you doing? What did I say about leaving the house alone?" Hijikata-san furrowed his brow as he harshly scolded me.

"To not to." I answered while rubbing the spot he hit.

"So care to tell me why you disobeyed?"

"No, not really." I sassed at him.

A vein appeared on Hijikata-san forehead at me response before he started pulling on my cheek. "Ho? Care to repeat that?"

"Ouch, ouch, ouch! Let go!" I cried while pulling at his hands, trying to get him to release me.

Otou-san just shook his head at me with a small smile and let Hijikata-san continue to abuse my face. Souji was no help either; all he did was laugh at me before tugging on my other cheek.

"Shizu-chan, you should listen to Toshi." Otou-san said when he was done laughing at me.

* * *

"Truly, I am excited that you rushed to our aid, Saito-kun. It is most heartening" Otou-san said to Saito-san as we all gathered to eat dinner later that night. "With you here, we're a hundred men stronger."

Souji, who sat next to Saito-san, took a bite of food while looking envious at the praise Saito-san received from Otou-san. I nudged Souji's side and placed an extra sardine from my plate in his bowl to try to cheer him up.

"Sir!" Saito-san replied to Otou-san's praise.

"With him here, everyone from our Edo days has been reunited." Sannan-san joined the conversation. Both Otou-san and Hijikata-san nodded at that statement.

"What's Ryunosuke up to?" Shinpachi-san suddenly asked Heisuke after Sannan-san finished speaking. Ibuki-kun was nowhere in sight, which was strange. He usually ate dinner with us.

"I told him we're eating," Heisuke answered, "but he said he doesn't want any dinner."

"A moment, Nagakura-kun." Otou-san cut in

"Yeah?" Shinpachi-san said as he snapped his attention back onto Otou-san.

"How was the city?" Otou-san asked. Shinpachi-san, Heisuke, and Sano-san were out scouting the city a bit earlier.

"Right, I spotted some ruffians causin' problems here and there." Shinpachi-san replied.

"It'd probably be best if we avoided going out alone." Sano-san added before giving me a pointed look. "A rogue samurai could strike us down at any time and the locals won't be of any help."

"I see… This is even worse than I imagined" Otou-san said while processing the information before shooting me a stern look. I quickly shrunk back and hid behind Souji to escape Otou-san's glance.

Hijikata-san gave Otou-san a confident nod before facing everyone else. "Let them bring it on! Because the locals and the clans aren't up to the task, we've got a chance to make a name for ourselves. You guys came prepared for danger, didn't you? You aren't going to declare you want to go home back in Edo, right?" Hijikata-san oozed charisma out of every pore of his body as he spoke.

Shinpachi-san was the first to respond and grinned before saying, "I wouldn't have followed ya all the way to Kyoto if I was going to do that."

"Yeah!" Heisuke agreed with just as much excitement. "Everyone here formed their resolves ages ago!"

"This may prove trying, but I hope you will bear with us for a while!" Otou-san said before bowing gratefully from his seated position.

"Don't even get started, Kondou-san." Souji assured Otou-san.

"We're used to the poor life!" Heisuke finished cheerfully.

"Like, seriously. Just getting' miso soup and pickles is a luxury compared to life back at Shieikan." Shinpachi-san finished with a grin. "There were times that Shizuka could only prepare barley rice for us to eat. I'd never been so hungry in my life than the time we were on that diet."

"You said it!" Sano-san agreed.

I laughed cheerfully at what they all said before adding my own piece. "We're certainly better off now. There's even enough here for everyone to ask for seconds." I said playfully while raising my bowl of rice.

Everyone laughed in good cheer as Shinpachi-san yelled, "Seconds for me!" while raising his empty bowl at me.

* * *

Oh bugger! After finding out that I had snuck out of the headquarters yesterday morning, Hijikata-san had kept a tighter watch over the gates this morning. It was already the Hour of the Dragon and if I didn't leave soon, then I wouldn't have enough time to check on the boy from yesterday and find a new patient. There was no way I would be able to get out of the headquarters unnoticed today unless I found some way to distract Hijikata-san. I quickly ducked into my hiding spot as Hijikata-san's hawk-like gaze swept over the area where I was once standing. I headed towards the kitchen after Hijikata-san's gaze had passed. I had a plan and I needed someone to be near the kitchen for it to work.

As soon as I came close enough to the kitchen, I peeked into the nearby rooms. Perfect! Sano-san was chatting with Shinpachi-san in the room to the left. I quickly ran to the kitchen and put on the apron before I dusted the front of the apron and my hands with flour and returned to the room Sano-san and Shinpachi-san were in.

"Sano-san, Shinpachi-san," I called into the room as I appeared in the doorway. "Otou-san wants to talk to Hijikata-san and Sannan-san. Do you think you guys could go get them? I would go do it myself, but as you can see, I'm busy with making gyōza[5] in the kitchen. I can't leave the unfinished food in the kitchen for too long."

"Oh, it's been awhile since we ate any gyōza!" Sano-san said in pleasant surprise. "Sure, we'll go get them for you. I'll go get Hijikata-san and Shinpachi will go get Sannan-san."

"Sure thing, princess! Just focus on making those gyōza delicious!" Shinpachi-san grinned before he began to drool. "Yum! I can just taste the gyōza already!"

Well someone's going to be very disappointed when he finds out that he's been deceived.

Both men exited the room and I returned to the kitchen to wait for Sano-san to remove Hijikata-san from the front gate. I watched from my hiding spot as Sano-san approached Hijikata-san.

"Hijikata-san, Kondou-san wants to talk to both you and Sannan-san."

"What about?"

"I'm not sure. Shizuka was originally supposed to go get you, but she's busy in the kitchen. She doesn't want to leave the food unsupervised. She's making gyōza today."

"Oh! It's been awhile since she made any gyōza for us. Well then, I guess I didn't need to guard the front gate after all. If Shizuka's busy in the kitchen then that must mean she wasn't planning on sneaking out today. Well I better go see what Kondou-san wants to talk about."

Maybe I should have said I was making something else? There was going to be a lot of disappointed people today. I got out of my hiding place and ditched the apron as soon as both Sano-san and Hijikata-san entered the main building, leaving the front gate unguarded. I quickly grabbed my naginata and surgical tools that were leaning against the kitchen wall and made a dash for freedom. I'm sure they'll forgive me later when they understood why I was doing this. I had managed to make it down the block and as I was turning the corner, a voice froze me in place.

"Oh? Just where do you think you're going?"

I turned to see Souji leaning against the wall. He grinned at me before he pushed himself off the wall and walked towards me.

"You won't be able to sneak away this time. I know you too well." Souji said as he came to a stop in front of me. "So where are you going this time, hmm?"

"Umm…"

Just how was I going to get out of this? Souji has been with me since we were both kids, so my normal tricks weren't going to work. In the end, he just knew me too well to fall for anything. I had to try something completely new and different. Oh! What if I…

"Don't tell me you're sneaking out just to go meet a man…" Souji said with a particularly nasty expression.

What? Where did he get that idea? Didn't he always complain that I didn't understand the matters of the heart? Well, I'd ponder that later, but now I had to put my plan into action.

"Souji…" I said shyly while looking down.

"Eh? What is it?" he asked a bit surprised at my sudden change in attitude.

I raised my glance to look at him coyly through my long lashes. He froze in confusion as he stared at me with a perplexed expression. I slowly slinked across the distance between the two of us before I placed my lips gently on his. This was where my plan completely failed to work. Instead of freezing up and giving me a chance to run, Souji wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, effectively trapping me in place. Instead of becoming nervous, he pressed his lips harder against mine.

So I clearly miscalculated. I clearly didn't know him as well as I thought I did. I thought he would cringe upon kissing someone he was so familiar with, but this was his first time kissing a girl. Maybe he was just excited because he was experiencing something so new? I had honestly thought the kiss would distract him long enough for me to escape. Before I could even realize what was happening, Souji slipped his tongue into my mouth to deepen the kiss.

"SHIZUKA!" I heard Hijikata-san roar not too far behind while Souji and I were amidst the kiss.

Crap, Hijikata-san had found out that I tricked him and I needed to disappear fast. However, there was a problem. Souji was clearly not going to let me go anytime soon, so I was stuck in place. I honestly could not foresee this day ending well in any way. Hijikata-san was going to string me up by my thumbs before ordering me to my room for the rest of the day. And that was if he didn't tell Otou-san about my little stunt. If he did tell Otou-san then I was going to be in so much more trouble. Counting down from ten in my head, I heard the footsteps of a single person running towards Souji's and my position. The footsteps came to a sudden stop on our left side when my count reached zero.

"Wha?" I heard Hijikata-san say in disbelief.

Souji broke away, but kept his arms looped around my waist. He turned his head toward Hijikata-san and had a very unimpressed expression on.

"Doesn't Hijikata-san know that it's rude to interrupt?" Souji said with an annoyed tsk.

"I-I—what?" Hijikata-san stuttered with a baffled shock. He quickly cleared his throat before composing himself. "Well, as long as Shizuka isn't running around by herself." Hijikata-san said sternly before turning to walk back towards the compound with a slight blush evident on his cheeks.

Souji and I remained in the same position until Hijikata-san disappeared from sight. Souji sighed before he released me and looked at me with a smug expression visible on his face.

"Did Shizuka really think that she could trick me like that?" Souji asked as he quirked his eyebrow down at me. "You thought I would freeze up and give you a chance to escape. I already told you that I know you too well."

I pouted and looked away. Darn it, he really did know me too well.

Souji's smug expression vanished and he sighed again. "I know you have a good reason for sneaking out and you won't tell me until you're ready. I'll keep Hijikata-san off your back so you can leave more easily. I won't ask what you're doing, but promise me you'll be careful."

I was touched by the amount of concern he had for me. I didn't think I would be worth all that trouble.

"I promise. Thanks… You're the best, Souji." I said softly before I got on my toes so I could peck him on the cheek.

"The best, huh…" he said while smiling bitterly before turning to head back towards headquarters.

I didn't like that smile like I liked all his other ones. This smile was bitter and I didn't understand why his smile was bitter or why it was bitter so often now, but I wanted him to smile at me the way he once did back in our childhood. When he smiled at me back then, it was always filled with joy and without a hint of bitterness.

* * *

[1] Positive feedback is a process that occurs in a feedback loop in which the effects of a small disturbance on a system include an increase in the magnitude of the perturbation. That is, _A produces more of B which in turn produces more of A._

[2] A two hour period that was roughly 9:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m.

[3] A two hour period that is roughly from 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m.

[4] Footwork in kendo where the person Steps forward by pushing off with the left foot, then quickly brings the left foot back into the beginning foot position.

[5] Gyōza or otherwise known as Jiaozi, are a kind of Chinese dumpling, commonly eaten across Eastern, Central, Southern and Western Asia. Though considered part of Chinese cuisine, jiaozi are often eaten in many other Asian countries.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

"But what Mom never told me is that along the way, you find sisters, and they find you. Girls are cool that way." ― Adriana Trigiani, _Viola in Reel Life_

Everyone from Shieikan was now gathered at the front gates of the compound. Today was the day that Lord Iemochi was supposed to arrive in Kyoto. Otou-san, Hijikata-san, and Sannan-san, or what I like to call the "Big Three", were in a meeting with Serizawa to discuss what would be our course of action regarding the Shogun's visit. Were we to guard the Shogun like in the original mission, or do we ignore the Shogun's visit because we weren't called upon for protection? I honestly didn't really care what orders we were given. I didn't care much for the Shogun because of how distant he was from the average person. The man felt untouchable and distant, both traits also happened to be traits I disliked in a person. If the Roshigumi was to go guard the Shogun, then we would finally have a job to do. However, if we weren't, we would have free time to do as we pleased.

Everyone looked up at the sound of footsteps approaching. Ibuki-kun came to a stop in front of us while cradling what appeared to be his bruised hand.

"Let me see your hand." I said gently as I rushed up to carefully take his hand into mine to examine it while ignoring his verbose protests. The bruises that covered his hands told me that he had been a victim of Serizawa's iron fan more than once.

Ibuki-kun tried to resist my careful examination until Sano-san place a firm hand on Ibuki-kun's head and pushed it down.

"Be a good boy and stop complaining. Shizuka's nice enough to worry about you even though all you do is avoid her." Sano-san said disapprovingly at Ibuki-kun's actions

Ibuki-kun stopped resisting and rested his hand in my hands to let me look at the extent of the damage. He spared Sano-san a petulant glare.

The new injury was a large and nearly black bruise on his knuckle. He must have taken quite a hit from the iron fan. While it was nothing too serious, it still must have hurt. I reached into the sleeve of my top and pulled out a small jar of ointment I was finally able to make just this morning and placed it in his hands.

"Put some on those bruises later. The ointment will help reduce the bruises' size and numb the area." I recommended. "Keep the rest of that ointment. Since you're around Serizawa a lot, you'll probably be struck a lot more by his iron fan."

"… Thanks…" Ibuki-kun said to avoid getting into more trouble with the guys again.

"So, Ryunosuke," Heisuke began. "You were in the same room as Serizawa-san, Kondou-san, Hijikata-san, and Sannan-san during the meeting. What did they say about what we're going to do?"

"Well," Ibuki-kun started explaining what had gone on in the meeting. "Serizawa-san wasn't interested in going and said that if Kondou-san and the others decided to go then he wasn't going to stop him. Serizawa-san also seems to not have much respect for the Shogun…"

"Huh? Whaddya mean?" Shinpachi-san asked as he tilted his head to the side.

Serizawa said that there was no need to guard that 'inept fool' and that the Shogun was a shame to the shogun line." Ibuki-kun answered.

Shinpachi-san crossed his arms across his chest as he became more serious. "Serizawa-san said something nuts like that?" he said in disapproval.

"Yeah…" Ibuki-kun confirmed.

Heisuke, who picked up on the information Ibuki-kun said before said, "Serizawa-san said he wasn't going to stop us… It looks like that guy seriously hates our guts."

Ibuki-kun turned his head to focus on what Heisuke was saying.

"He must still bear a grudge over the Honjou Inn incident." Heisuke finished before averting his gaze

"Honjou Inn incident?" Ibuki-kun asked curiously.

When Ibuki-kun repeated after Heisuke, Heisuke suddenly realized he mentioned the taboo subject and quickly tried to avoid the subject.

"Eh?! Oh well…" Heisuke splutter while looking to everyone else for some help.

However, instead of trying to change the subject, everyone's faces grew dark. Personally, just thinking about the way that Serizawa behaved that night pissed me off. Before we even arrived in Kyoto, Serizawa was already giving the Roshigumi a bad name. And not only that, he used that night to dishonor Otou-san while destroying innocent people's property. I loathed the man.

"Go ahead and tell him." Souji told Heisuke while still brooding darkly over the memory of that night. "Hajime-kun doesn't know about it either."

"'Kay." Heisuke nodded at the consent before he started to explain what had happened. "When we were traveling to Kyoto together with Serizawa-san, Kondou-san was given the job of 'advanced accommodations requisition'."

"Advanced accommodations requisition?" Ibuki-kun repeated as he tilted his head to one side.

"It was his duty to travel ahead and find rooms for the Roshigumi. But he made a booking error at the Honjou Inn and didn't get a room for Serizawa-san." Heisuke continued to explain. "Serizawa-san said that it gets extremely cold at night, so he trashed a nearby building and set it on fire. In the end, Kondou-san got on his hands and knees and apologized to Serizawa-san."

"That wasn't the only thing that happened." Sano-san added before placing his large hand gently on top of my head. "Shizuka here, decided to make an enemy out of Serizawa-san. She raised her weapon against him after insulting him on purpose."

"But should have gotten you killed or severely beaten in the very least!" Ibuki-kun exclaimed in shock while staring at me like I was some sort of exotic, extinct animal.

Everyone looked down at the ground in a tense silence before Heisuke finished up his explanation. "Somehow we managed to make it to Kyoto in one piece, but it put a rift between us."

Everyone remained silent to brood in the dark memory until Otou-san came to tell us that we were going to go guard the Shogun from the crowds.

* * *

The streets of Kyoto were lined with official guards instated by the Aizu Domain. The civilians who came to watch the Shogun's procession were crowded in the spaces between the buildings and held back by guards in order to keep the streets clear. All of us who came to guard the Shogun and Ibuki-kun, who tagged along, were stuck in the back of the crowds. Our position in the back was completely useless. There was no way we could guard the Shogun from a distance with a barrier of people between us and the person in question. In my opinion, we were wasting our time. The Shogun had more than enough guards and the Roshigumi couldn't even get close enough to be of some use.

"This is stinkin' crowded!" Shinpachi-san voiced everyone's thoughts. "We'd never know if there were any rogue samurai mingling amongst all these people!"

"Don't you need to be closer up?" Ibuki-kun asked despite the answer being obvious.

"Yeah, you're right." Sano-san answered kindly. "We can't protect no one worth squat from back here!"

I could not foresee how we were going to be useful in any way. There was seriously no point for us to be here if we weren't going to be useful. I wasn't going to waste my time on someone who clearly did not need me. I turned and began to walk back to the headquarters. I could be using my time to do something useful, like investigating where I could invest my money to bring in more income. I needed to be ready to act when the time was right to dispose of Serizawa.

"I'm heading back." I called out to them as I walked away.

"You're not going to stay?" Hijikata-san asked. "The Shogun hasn't even passed by us yet."

I stopped walking and turned my head to face the guys. "I'm not going to waste my time here. The Shogun already has more than enough guards. We're clearly not needed here, so I'm going to head back and do something useful with my time. You guys can stay here and have fun."

I continued walking back to Mibu village after I said my piece. Maybe I should go to the Mibu temple instead of headquarters to do some training. I wanted to be able to take on any ronin in case I ran into any trouble. I could do the investigating and planning later when business resumed as usual in the marketplace again. All the business had closed down so the people running the stores and market stalls could go watch the Shogun stroll into town. Practice would probably be the best thing to do right now.

* * *

The moment I saw Saito-san, Sano-san, and Souji enter the temple grounds where I was training, I knew the Shogun was done passing through Kyoto. If the Shogun was done passing through Kyoto, then business was continuing as usual back at the market. That meant that it was time to do some investigation. Maybe I could find one more patient to treat today or maybe I could find a place to invest my money. I needed to have a higher income rate than Serizawa if I wanted to outcompete him.

"So this is where you've been the whole time." Sano-san said as he approached me to affectionately pat my head.

"Yup! Did you guys actually get close enough to guard the Shogun?" I asked even though I knew the answer.

"No, there were too many people between us and the Shogun." Saito-san answered me.

"Too bad we couldn't cut them down to get through." Souji said sarcastically. That was a really bad joke; at least I hope it was a joke.

"Are you here to train now that the excitement of the Shogun passing through is over?" I asked the three men.

"Yeah. I can have a small practice match with you if you want, Shizuka." Sano-san offered kindly.

"No thanks, I've just about finished up for the day." I said as tied my naginata onto my back again.

I had finally figured out why I had stopped improving as much as I once did and now that I knew the answer I wondered how I didn't see it before. When I was learning the basic of naginatajutsu, I just copied whatever Tsune-san did. I didn't own the fighting style I was using. In order to improve some more, I would have to find my own fighting style and improve from there. But more training could wait until later. For now it was time to hit the city again.

"You're going out again?" Sano-san asked with disapproval. "It's dangerous outside. You know that Hijikata-san and Kondou-san won't allow you to leave headquarters without an escort. I'm coming with you."

However, before Sano-san could do anything else, a wooden sword came flying out of nowhere and bonked him on the head. Surprise by the sudden appearance of the practice weapon, I quickly turn to scan the area. Where did the wooden sword come from? My question was answered when I saw Souji wink at me. True to his word, Souji had been instrumental to me when it came to leaving headquarters without an escort. Quickly shooting Souji a thankful glance, I quickly slipped out of Mibu temple unnoticed as Sano-san stared at the wooden sword in confusion and while Saito-san was being distracted by Souji. I had a feeling that something good was going to happen today at the markets.

After escaping from my minders, I began walking to the central market of Kyoto. Kyoto was an enormous city and since I was coming from Mibu village, which was on the outskirts of Kyoto, getting to the central market took a while. When I arrived at the central market, the market was busy and bustling once again with people resuming to their daily, regular life. However, it wasn't just the normal citizens resuming their normal lives, the ronin that plagued the city were also resuming their normal routine of robbing and threatening people.

"We're hard working samurai in service to the Emperor and you're saying you won't pay us for our service?" one ronin in a group of three said condescendingly to a middle aged man that was kneeling on the floor in front of them.

The ronin that just spoke looked like he was the leader of that little brigade. He was fairly tall and possessed a lanky build. His hazel-colored hair was tied in a high, bushy ponytail, leaving his bangs to cover part of his angular face. The other ronin behind the leader to the right had a terrible overbite with buckteeth. He was also slightly overweight. The last ronin was a fairly good looking man that had a wooden toothpick hanging out of his mouth.

The civilians in the marketplace were all watching the abuse from a distance in silent horror as they were all unable to help the victim.

"P-please S-samurai-sama, my family needs to eat. H-have mercy" the man on the floor begged as he fell onto his face.

"Oh, but you see, we need to eat too." the one with the toothpick said before he kicked the poor civilian's side with glee.

What that man said was a big, fat lie. Those ronin looked fairly well off compared to the rest of the ronin I had seen before. Those men were all dressed well and the one with the buckteeth was even slightly overweight. It was hard to be overweight during this time period, but the one with the buckteeth had obviously been able to accomplish the difficult. The coin purse on the leader's hip was also budging with coins and jingled every time he moved. It was disgusting to see these men abusing their power and preying on those who were unable to defend themselves. I would not stand for this. Someone had to defend those who could not defend themselves and I had the ability to do so. My skill and insight was far above average and covered my below average speed and physical strength. Taking on these ronin would be a piece of cake compared to sparring with the guys back at headquarters.

Before I could step in and run off those three ronin, an extremely beautiful, young woman that looked to be about my age, came running out a nearby bank. The young woman had long, silky, black hair that was twisted into an elegant bun. She possessed pale skin that was as pale as fresh fallen snow. Her fingers were long and dainty and her hands smooth. I felt like I was looking at a princess from one of those old fairytales. She was so beautiful, in fact, that I felt like I could almost become bi for her.

"Leave Otou-san alone!" the young woman demanded defiantly before she foolishly ran between her father and the three ronin. There was no way she would be able to defend herself and her father. She had no weapon and very obviously did not know how to defend herself. The best she could possibly do was runaway after she got the attention of the three ronin.

"No! Kyoko-chan! Come back!" an older woman, most likely her mother, gasped in horror near a bank.

"Hey, hey, hey!" the leader said as he leered at her perversely with a mocking smile. "Didja hear what the broad said?"

The leader's two minions laughed before the ronin with the buckteeth said, "Well if you're offering yourself up instead, then who are we to refuse?"

The young woman grew fearful after her bravado faded, but she hid her fear well. Only the slight tremor of her hand revealed her true feelings as she glared back at them defiantly. She was gutsy, I'd give her that. Most young women would be too scared to run in like she did.

"NO!" the father cried as he jumped to his feet to push his daughter behind him. "Just take the money! Leave my daughter alone!"

"Oh, but you see, it would be rude of us not to have some fun with her after she offered herself up to us." the leader grinned cruelly when he spoke before he moved to push the father out of the way. "But since you offered us the money, we'll be taking that too."

The father toppled to the ground and watched on in horror as the hazel-haired man reached for his daughter, but nothing was going to happen. I had observed the situation long enough. Even though I would be outnumbered the moment I intervened, I had no doubt I could win if the encounter became a fight. The three men all carried a pair of swords each, one katana and one kodachi. The hilts of all the swords were worn down and needed immediate maintenance. One thing I learned about swords from the guys back at headquarters was that you could always tell how well a man takes care of his sword by the condition of the hilt. Poorly maintained swords were the mark of a poor swordsman. Another marker of poor swordsmanship was conditions of the ronin's bodies. The men did not look unhealthy, except for the overweight man, but their bodies lacked the muscle structure one would have if one were to train with a sword daily. These men just threatened people using their status and fear. They had no real skill with swords.

"That's enough now, don't you think so?" I said sternly in disapproval as I approached the three ronin. "She clearly doesn't want to go anywhere with you three, so don't you think you should be gentlemen and leave her alone?"

The men glanced at me when I approached. Their eyes were immediately drawn to the naginata I carried on my back before they looked back at each other with grins.

"A samurai's daughter, huh?" the leader voiced his assumption once his eyes found my weapon. He turned to me and sneered. "So are you offering yourself in her place? You aren't as pretty as she is, but you're definitely not ugly either."

"And I'm sure that naginata of hers is worth quite a bit." the man with the toothpick said as he eyed the object of interest.

"No, I didn't offer myself up to you and I don't recall her offering herself to you either. You said you were samurai in service to the Emperor, didn't you?" I asked before narrowing my eyes at them. "Real samurai don't victimize the weak or disturb the peace of the people they are sworn to protect." I stated firmly.

The expressions of the ronin morphed into ugly, angry glares. The man with the toothpick then snarled at me, "You calling us fakes?! We ought to cut you down for that insult!"

All three ronin reached for their swords. This situation was explosive and a fight was now going to be unavoidable. Ronin always did have short tempers when they perceived that their status was being insulted.

"I never called you three fakes. All I stated was what real samurai do." I retorted while reaching for my weapon. "But since you want to cut me down for that 'insult', go ahead and try."

I pulled my naginata in front of me and I got into a battle stance as the three ronin drew their blades. The young woman who I jumped in to help quickly helped her father up and pulled her father toward the sidelines to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. No one moved for a few seconds and the onlookers held their breaths. Who would win? The tiny 4'9" woman or the three tall ronin?

The leader attacked first when I did not move. The leader sloppily charged at me with his sword held high over his head. His foot work was messy and his eyes were only focus on my face, leaving him blind to any move I would make. As soon as he came into range, I tripped him with the butt of my weapon and he went flying past me before he landed on his face and skid a few more feet. The other two ronin, now seeing their leader on the floor, both charge at me at the same time. Both men were just as unequally skilled as their leader and, in some cases, even more unskilled. Both men were too close to each other. They could easily hit each other accidentally with their own weapons or I could hit both of them at the same time with one swing of my weapon. When the men got close enough, I swung my naginata at the man on the right side. The back end of my blade knocked the right man into the left man and they both collapsed in a heap off to the side. The leader, who had now gotten up by now, was now charging to attack me from behind. His attack was far too predictable and I easily dodged with a simple sidestep. The leader was unable to stop his built up momentum and he ran past me, leaving his back open for an attack. I whack him on the back of his head with the staff portion of my weapon to knock him out before hooking him by his clothing with the back of my blade and flinging him towards the other two men that were now getting up. The two minions collapsed once more when their leader landed on top of them before panicking when they saw that their leader had been knocked unconscious.

"We women are not play things that you can pick up and discard as you wish." I stated as I stood above the ronin. "And this family worked hard for their money. You have no right to take what is not yours whenever you feel like it. Leave and don't come back."

The ronin rushed to scramble to their feet and ran away while carrying their leader. Their pride was broken and they would be too ashamed to return.

I retied my weapon to my back before approaching the young woman and her father.

"Are you both alright?" I asked gently with a kind smile.

The young woman eyed my naginata warily while the father dropped to his knees to thank me.

"T-thank you so much! I would have not expected someone of your status to have helped commoners like us!" the father said while bowing.

That was too excessive just for thanks. The man and his daughter assumed that I was the daughter of a samurai because of my naginata. Samurai in the Tokugawa era were akin to nobility and only women of the same class carried a naginata.

I reached down to help the man stand up. "There's no need to go that far just to say thanks. I may carry a naginata, but I actually don't have a single drop of samurai blood in my veins. I'm just the daughter of a farmer. The only reason I have a naginata is because a close friend of mine wanted me to be able to defend myself in case I ran into trouble." I explained with a small amused smile.

"So you're a commoner too?" The young woman asked as her suspicion began to clear from her face.

"Yup!" I replied happily before I offered the young woman a friendly smile. She brightened up almost immediately and instantly became friendlier towards me.

"My name is Wakahisa Kyoko!" she introduced herself to me loudly and with excitement before grabbing both of my hands. "You're so small and cute, but you're so strong! Let's be friends!"

Her eyes sparkled and she behaved like she had just found her lost, life-long friend. She wasn't a just physically beautiful person. I thought she also had a pretty cute personality too and I instantly liked her. She just seemed to have that aura around her that every person who was the life of a party had. Kyoko-chan was my first female friend that was my age and I absolutely adored her.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

"How ridiculous and how strange to be surprised at anything which happens in life." ― Marcus Aurelius, _Meditations_

"No way! I heard that he was the worst possible customer a geisha[1] could end up with, but you actually live with him?!" Kyoko-chan exclaimed with her eyes bulging out of her eye sockets. The stick of dango she was about to take a bite out of bounced off the bench we were both sitting on and fell to the floor as she froze in surprise at the information I just told her. "Ah! No, not my dango!" she cried when she finally realized her hand was empty.

Kyoko-chan lamented the premature death of her snack for a few seconds before eyeing my half eaten stick of dango with a playful glint in her eyes. One moment, the stick of dango was in my hands and the next moment, I only had the bare stick in my hands. She gave a heavenly sigh after she gulped down my snack before giggling mirthfully at me as I struggled to pick my jaw off the floor. The speed at which she stole my food was impressive. I have never before, in my two lives, witness anyone steal food faster then she just did. She was faster than a snapping turtle on steroids. I think she moved even faster than Saito-san could.

"W-what? I don't even—what?" I bumbled, still trying to regain control over my floppy mandible. "How did you do that?!"

"Hehehe! My annoying otouto likes to steal my food." said Kyoko-chan with a straight back before raising her chin. "So it makes sense that I've become skilled at stealing food back!"

"But you didn't steal your food back, you only stole my food." I pointed out helpfully.

"Eh, same concept." she justified her actions.

I narrowed my eyes at her before I demanded impishly. "Since you just stole my snack, you have to treat me to what I want to eat next time."

Kyoko-chan grinned and exclaimed in agreement, "It's a date!"

To have a girl friend that was my age was really nice. While Tsune-san was also technically a girl friend, she really was more of a mother figure to me. Kyoko-chan was someone I could gossip and fool around with. Sure, I could fool around with the guys too, but there were some things only girls could do together, like going to a sentō[2] together. Kyoko-chan was always fun to be around and both of us became very close within a few days of meeting each other. We were like two kindred souls. Now whenever I was in the heart of the city, I was never alone. Kyoko-chan came with me every time I worked or was looking for work.

Kyoko-chan was also an excellent source of news. She knew most rumors flying around Kyoto's center, who was having an affair with whom, most of the gossip of the main hub, and more. She even had the seemingly magical ability to know news before it had even happened. Kyoko-chan was well liked by everyone and people would, more than often, spill their deepest darkest secret to her without much persuasion. There was no one more interwoven into the fabric of the city center than she.

"So," she returned to our topic from before the whole dango fiasco, "you were serious that you live with that Serizawa guy?"

"Yeah, but luckily he spends most of his time at the Maekawa house rather than the Yagi house."

"Ew, I think I would just die if I had to live near that guy."

"You know, besides the fact that he's a complete and utter bastard, he's actually an okay housemate."

Kyoko-chan stared at me slack-jawed before placing her hand on my forehead. "Are you feeling feverish? Did you take a blow to the head?"

I swatted her hand away. "I feel fine. I mean that Serizawa at least doesn't leave his loincloth in random places on the floor all over the house."

"Wait… you mean there's someone you live with that actually does that?!" she asked as she bounce with excitement. "Who?"

"Shinpachi-san. He didn't stop until few weeks ago when I threatened to burn all his undergarments." And what an effective threat that was. I haven't even seen his undergarments when I was doing the guys' laundry since then.

"Oh, that's right! You said you were the only woman living with the Roshigumi. So what are the guys like? Are they hot?"

"The guys…they're all like family to me. Otou-san is like…well, otou-san; Sannan-san and Gen-san are like the oji-sans; Sano-san and Hijikata-san are both the ani; Shinpachi-san is like 'ani's best friend'; Saito-san is the family friend that's so close that he's practically family; and Souji is like… Hmm, I don't know. Souji is just Souji and, yes, they are all fairly attractive."

For some reason I was getting the feeling that I was forgetting someone when I was listing off all the guys… Oh well, I'm sure that it wasn't that important…

"Lucky! You should introduce me to them! If you like them, then that means their all decent, handsome, men."

"Hahaha! You just want some eye candy to look at!" I laughed as I pointed accusingly at her.

"There's nothing wrong with that!" Kyoko-chan winked before asking curiously, "By the way, what did you mean by 'Souji is just Souji'? He's the one you've known the longest besides your adoptive otou-san, right?"

"Yeah. I'm even closer to him than I am with Otou-san. He's the one I trust the most. If I said that he felt like family, then that would be a lie. He's closer than family." I explained with my index finger on my lip. "I feel like he's my partner in everything I do."

"Oh! You mean like soulmates! Hmm… I smell potential for some romance." she said as she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at me.

"What are you talking about?" Seriously, what romance? And… "I don't believe in soul mates." I said as I tilted my head.

Kyoko-chan just pat my head patronizingly before remarking, "Poor little Shizuka-chan. When it comes to romance, you're denser than a piece of solid lead."

"No I'm not…" I mumbled with a pout, but I knew that was a lie. There was a reason I wasn't married in my past life. I jumped off the bench and stretched my limbs. I've been out long enough today. "It's about time to head back home. If I don't head back now then the guys will end up going without lunch today. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yup!" she exclaimed cheerfully as she jumped up from her seat. "I'll find more people for you to treat tomorrow and if we finish early, then we can head to the sentō together. I'll wash your back if you wash mine?"

I grinned. "Deal!" I said merrily before I waved her goodbye.

* * *

"Oh! Good morning Ibuki-kun!" I waved at him as I approached the front gates of the estate as I returned to headquarters.

"Morning? It's already almost time for lunch." mumbled Ibuki-kun while he swept the floor in front of the kitchen.

"But it's still morning," I pointed out helpfully. "It's not the Hour of the Horse[3] yet."

Ibuki-kun huffed and continued sweeping while mumbling unintelligently under his breath. He would probably be more cordial to me if I stopped getting him into trouble with Souji, but it was just so much fun. It was going to be so hard to stop.

"Oh! You're back." a familiar voice called from a little further in the estate.

"Souji!" I exclaimed excitedly as I turned around to face the owner of the voice. Hanging out with Kyoko-chan always did put me in a good mood, but since I started spending more time with her, I've started neglecting Souji a bit more and I wanted to find some way to make it up to him.

I bounced over to where Souji was and pecked him on the cheek. Souji's face brightened up immediately when my kiss connected with his cheek.

"You're cheerful today." he said as he let one of his hands rest on my hip. "Are you finally going to tell me what you do when you're out in Kyoto alone?"

I still didn't want to tell anyone of my scheme to remove Serizawa yet, but telling him about Kyoko-chan should have been fine. It should satisfy his curiosity for some time.

"I've been meeting with someone every time I go out." I said blissfully.

I must have said something wrong because a shadow appeared on Souji's face and his smile became strained. There was even a slight killing intent coming from him.

"Gah!" Ibuki-kun's panicked cry reached my ears and I could literally hear him scrambling for a place to hide. Well, that makes sense. Souji did have a tendency to beat people up when he was upset.

"So you were meeting someone?" came Souji's strained question. Why was he so tense?

"Yup!" I answered with the same cheerfulness I had before.

After I answered his question, I could see him grip the handle of his katana tightly, so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Maybe he was upset I haven't been spending as much time with him lately.

"Maybe you should take me to meet this person you've been spending so much time with." He said as a vein appeared on his forehead. So, he was mad.

"Okay." I answered. Maybe he wouldn't be so mad if he met Kyoko-chan. She was a rather likable person, after all and not a threat to Souji in anyway. "Oh!" I suddenly added as an afterthought. "But it can't be tomorrow. We're both going to a sentō together tomorrow."

Okay, I really must have said something wrong this time. I could feel the killing intent magnify and roll off of Souji like tidal waves as he started to grit his teeth.

"You let a man you've met in Kyoto wash your back when you're covered in nothing but a towel?" he asked darkly as he pushed part of his katana out of its sheath with his thumb. "Who is this man and where does he live?"

Man? No wonder he was so mad. He thought I was talking about some random man I just met. Souji hated it when I went to spend time with men he did not personally approve of, hence why I only spent time with him and all the others from Shieikan.

"Eh? Kyoko-chan's a woman, not a man." I quickly explained to placate him.

Most of the killing intent vanished at my explanation. I could hear a sigh of relief from Ibuki-kun as got he out of his hiding spot, and resumed his chores.

"A woman? Kyoko-chan?" Souji mumbled under his breath to himself

"You'll like Kyoko-chan. She's really friendly and nice. You can come with me the next time I go to meet up with her." I promised Souji before grabbing his hand. "Help me with lunch?"

"Okay," he said with a small, strained smile as he let the issue drop for now.

"So, what do want for lunch today?"

"How about some daikon rice porridge, it's been some time since you've made some." he said as I led him into the kitchen. Daikon rice porridge was always his favorite and he always loved it when I cooked it for him.

* * *

"So," I asked as I offered him a spoonful of my freshly prepared batch of porridge, "how does it taste? Is it too salty?"

Souji shook his head no with a pleasant smile after he took a bite. "It's delicious." he said before he bent down to steal another bite.

"Okay," I said cheerfully, "help me divide the porridge into bowls so we—"

I was interrupted by the voice of a young boy loudly crying by the kitchen door. Souji's and my eyes met before we rushed towards the door to see what had happened. As we both exited the kitchen, Yagi Yuunosuke, the son of Yagi-san and Masa-san, ran past us in tears.

"Yuu-boy, what's wrong?" Souji asked nonchalantly in a laidback fashion.

Yuu-kun continued running and crying. "I'm scared!"

Scared? Scared of what?

Souji began to walk towards the entrance of the estate to see just what it was that frightened the kid so badly. I followed closely behind.

"Who's that kid?" asked Ibuki-kun, who was sweeping the floor between the kitchen and front gate.

"He lives here." Souji answered as he walked passed Ibuki-kun before speaking to me. "Shizuka, stay behind me."

All three of us went to look cautiously out the gate, but what greeted us were familiar faces. Ibuki-kun gasped in shock while Souji just stared in stunned silence. Outside the gate stood blood-covered Shinpachi-san and Saito-san. The blood on their bodies and clothing were still wet and I could even still smell the freshly spilt blood on them. Were they injured? No, the blood on their clothing was in the wrong pattern for injury, but still one couldn't be too sure. Rather than the blood coming from a possible injury, the blood more than likely came from another source.

The pattern of the blood on those two indicated that the blood was splattered on to them. The only way to get blood to splatter was to cut a large artery in someone else's body. Arties were the only vessels in the body with high enough pressure to produce spurts of blood. The amount of blood on the men also signified that they cut a main artery near the chest cavity that would quickly lead to the victims bleeding out within seconds. They've killed. I knew that if we all stayed in Kyoto to do the shogun's bidding, then it would be inevitable that everyone would one day kill, but me knowing that didn't make everyone else prepared. Because of the path everyone chose to walk, I knew that before the end of this era, everyone's blades would be draw enough blood to make the streets of Kyoto run like rivers, it was only a matter of time. In an era where the weight of the sword meant honor, life, and duty, it also meant death and obeying the orders to kill.

"Ibuki-kun," I said with a firm voice as I took control of the situation, "go find Hijikata-san and Sannan-san and tell them to go meet us in the courtyard."

Ibuki-kun immediately ran off to fulfill my request. He wasn't eager to stay behind with the blood covered men. I then turned to the two that were still covered in blood and quickly scanned them for any possible injuries.

"No injuries, right?" I asked amidst my examination.

"It's just spurts of blood. We're not hurt." Saito-san answered. He was strangely calm. I had to be right with my previous suspicion back in Edo. This wasn't the first time he's killed. He was far too calm compared to Shinpachi-san, who was still tense.

"Shinpachi-san, Saito-san, go to the courtyard and wait for Hijikata-san and Sannan-san." I directed. "Souji and I will go get some tubs of water for you guys to wash up."

"Understood." replied Saito-san as he headed towards the courtyard. Shinpachi-san gave me one hard stare before he followed Saito-san.

"You weren't even a little scared to see them covered in blood?" Souji asked after the two bloodied men left.

"Why would I be scared of seeing them covered in someone else's blood? I would think it would be much scarier to see them covered in their own blood." I said bluntly.

"Hmm… So you already knew that the blood didn't belong to them." Souji said as he examined me carefully. "No wonder you didn't react."

"Let's go to get the water for them to use to clean up. I know it'll be highly unpleasant for them to have someone else's blood dry on them." I said.

We spoke no more and did what we set out to do. By the time we had gathered what we needed and headed towards the courtyard, Sannan-san and Hijikata-san were already there with Saito-san and Shinpachi-san. Souji and I set the water down for the two bloodied men to use before going to sit on the roka off to the side. Saito-san stripped off his outer layer and his scarf and began to wash the blood off in the tub. Shinpachi-san took off his top and tossed it into his tub. He then took the wet towel in his tub and began to wash off the blood on his upper body.

"What happened?" Hijikata-san questioned the two.

Shinpachi-san took the initiative and angrily spoke first. "We barged into the family lodge those rogue samurai ran into, but the head clerk stopped us!"

Sannan-san furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head. "He stopped you?"

"Yeah." Shinpachi-san answered angrily. "He kept goin', 'Who ordered you to do this? Go get the local police.'"

"And that's how you lost those ronin?" asked Hijikata-san.

Shinpachi-san's nostrils flared as he threw the towel he was using back into the tub. "Damnit!" He yelled before he began to scrub harshly at his clothing. "What're the people of Kyoto thinking defendin' those rogue samurai?"

Sannan-san replied with a voice of reason, "We lack any real track record and the imperialist national party, especially the Choshu ronin, are said to grease people's fingers."

Shinpachi-san gave an irritated tsk sound after Sannan-san's response as he continued to scrub at his clothing. Souji, who was just staring at Saito-san the whole time, finally spoke up.

"For having just drawn someone's blood, you seem rather calm, Hajime-kun." Souji voiced his observation rather suddenly.

Saito-san did not even respond to Souji or even give any indication that he heard him. Souji was about to push for a response when I put my hand on his thigh. I shook my head at him to tell him to drop the subject.

Hijikata-san ignored what Souji said and approached Saito-san before asking, "Saito, having crossed blades with them, what do you think?"

"They were all lacking in skill with the sword." Saito-san answered as he pulled his tasuki[4] loose. "But due to our limited numbers, I am concerned when I consider what would happen should the enemy surround us."

"But it would take time and money to enlist new recruits and train them." Hijikata-san said thoughtfully with his fingers resting on his chin. "For now, never go out alone. Getting yourself killed won't do us any good."

Hijikata-san's eyes found mine when he said the "never go out alone" part. He was dead serious this time. There was no way I would be able to leave the compound alone now, even with Souji's help. But when have poor odds ever stopped me? From now on I was going to start going "shopping" with Ibuki-kun every time he had to go buy saké for Serizawa.

"At any rate, there just isn't enough stuff we can do." interjected Shinpachi-san. "Say, what happened to workin' for the Aizu Domain?"

Crossing his arms, Sannan-san answered, "We shall be sending an official petition to Lord Aizu for permission to remain in Kyoto shortly."

"Any chance they'll give us permission to stay?"

"I cannot say." Sannan-san answered Shinpachi-san. "Depending on their answer, there is a possibility we will have to leave Kyoto. Truly, our fate rests on Serizawa-san's connections and course of action."

Hijikata-san made a disgruntle sound of displeasure at that statement. The expression on his face told us exactly what he was thinking.

"Just tell yourself that we are using him." suggested Sannan-san.

"I can't make myself that emotionally detached from this!" retorted Hijikata-san.

I sighed bitterly at his response. It was hard, but it had to be done.

"You better learn how to fast or you'll never be able to outwit him. When you're overly emotional about a situation, you'll make it too easy for your opponent to predict your moves." I advised him quietly from my seat.

"You know, you've gotten really good at making yourself emotionally detached in the past few years." Hijikata-san commented while sparing me a short side glance. The "after your near-rape event" was implied but was left unsaid. After a moment of silence Hijikata-san continued speaking. "I swear that someday I will outwit that man and elevate Kondou-san to a high place of power!"

"That's nice and all, but you all should go eat lunch first. You can't really do anything if you have no energy." I suggested. "It's probably already cold."

"Always the practical one, but are you not going to join us?" Sannan-san asked. He noticed the way I was wording my sentence.

"I will, but I need to go check on Yuu-kun," I explained. "He was really terrified when he saw those two covered in blood and I want to make sure he's okay. You guys go ahead and eat first."

"Wait." Shinpachi-san said seriously, stopping everyone's movement with his voice. "Why didn't you scream or even look shocked when you saw me and Saito when you saw us covered in blood?"

So that was why he gave me that hard stare earlier. My lack of what he deemed a logical reaction bothered him greatly.

"You do know who you're talking to, right?" I asked as I raised my eyebrow at him.

"I know you're tougher than most girls, but even then, most would be terrified." Shinpachi-san narrowed his eyes at me. "Why weren't you scared?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but Hijikata-san beat me to it.

"You don't know this because it happen before you arrived at Shieikan and another situation that serious hasn't occurred since. Shizuka has done open surgery on a person before."

"Seriously?!" Shinpachi-san yelped in surprise. "I thought she just told Serizawa that she was a surgeon to make him take her seriously."

Wait, so he thought I was lying about being a surgeon?

Shock even appeared on Saito-san's normally stoic face at Hijikata-san's statement.

"She has the guts to cut open a living person and sew that same person up again. Shizuka was never afraid of blood or gore of any kind." Hijikata-san finished.

"The surgery was successful too." added Sannan-san. "This is why I suggested we bring her along with us to Kyoto. It's not just simple injuries that she's skilled at treating. She was serious when she told Serizawa that she was a surgeon."

"I always thought we brought her along because she was always the one treating our injuries…" Shinpachi-san said as he stared at me with awe and new found respect.

"Well," I said, "I'm going to find Yuu-kun. You guys hurry up and go eat."

I got up from my spot and trotted over to the main house, leaving the guys to their business. Yuu-kun more than likely ran crying to his mother. I was probably going to have to do some damage control on the situation. Living with a bunch of men that could kill easily should have been scary to civilians. The Roshigumi shouldn't have the people who were housing them be terrified of them.

When I found Yuu-kun, he was hugging his mother's leg. His face was buried in his mother's thigh and he had not stopped crying yet.

"Yuunosuke, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong." Masa-san said gently, trying to coax the information out of her crying son.

"I'm scared!" was all Yuu-kun kept telling his mother.

"Oh! Shizuka-san," Masa-san said when she noticed me, "do you know why Yuunosuke is so upset?"

"Well," I started, "it's because he saw blood on Saito-san and Shinpachi-san."

As soon as I mentioned the word "blood", Masa-san turned deathly pale. Her hand started to tremor almost uncontrollably as she stared at me wide-eyed.

"Did they kill someone?" she asked, terrified about what my answer would be.

"No." I lied. "A few ronin picked a fight with them. Saito-san and Shinpachi-san only injured them enough for them to flee."

If the family of this household was terrified of us then we may lose their support. If we lost their support now, then who knew where we would go if we were tossed off of their estate. Ignorance was bliss. It would be better to keep the wife and son in the dark for now.

"I'm sorry that Yuu-kun had to see them covered in blood. I promise that won't happen again" I assured Masa-san.

Masa-san nodded in silence as I knelt down to Yuu-kun's height so I could look him in the eye.

"Yuu-kun, I know it was scary for you, but I promise you that you won't ever have to see anyone covered in blood again." I patted his head gently, "Okay? So don't cry anymore."

The young boy sniffled before nodding his head. His crying began to slow down.

"That's a good boy. I'll make you a small treat later. How does yatsuhashi[5] sound?" I offered.

Yuu-kun gave me a small teary smile and nodded again.

I pat his head again before I let out a soft, good-natured laugh. "There, isn't it better to smile instead of cry?"

I stood up again and nodded once more at Masa-san before I left. I needed to get one of the guys to come with me to the market after lunch so I could buy the ingredients for the yatsuhashi. I was thankful that I had the foresight to start earning money early. Two of the ingredients, cinnamon and raw sugar, were still fairly expensive to purchase. Luckily, I could just ask Kyoko-chan for help. Her connections throughout the city meant that she could get me a discount for pricey goods.

* * *

"So why did you drag me out with you," Hijikata-san grumbled. I had grabbed him right after lunch and forced him to take me to the market for the ingredients. "I was busy and Souji would have been more than happy to take you."

"Because you're always buried in paperwork and everyone needs a small break every once in a while to relieve stress." I answered before throwing in a fun fact. "Did you know that the more stressed you are, the more suppressed your immune system is? When you're stressed, your body will release adrenocorticotropic hormones, which will stimulate the release of corticosteroid hormones. Corticosteroid hormones help the body deal with stressors more effectively, but at the same time, they'll depress your immune system. If you stay stressed for too long, it'll be very easy to get sick."

"… Where do you get all this information? Never mind, we're going to the market, right?"

"Yup! But first we need to pick up someone first." I said as I began to direct him towards Kyoko-chan's family's bank.

"Eh? A bank? What are we doing here?"

"To pick up someone who can get us a discount when we go shopping."

When we both entered the bank, we were greeted by Kyoko-chan's father. "Oh, Shizuka-chan. Back already? I thought you had gone home for the day." he said kindly.

I bowed politely in response before I spoke. "Good afternoon, Wakahisa-san. Is Kyoko-chan in? I need to do some shopping and I need Kyoko-chan's help."

"Ah, Kyoko is in the back. Let me go get her for you." Wakahisa-san said before disappearing into the back of the building.

"Kyoko?" Hijikata-san asked me.

I beamed back at Hijikata-san and answered, "A good friend."

As soon as I finished speaking, someone plowed into my side and hugged me tightly.

"Shizuka-chan!" Kyoko-chan sang playfully. "So where are we going~?"

"Shopping." I said plainly as Hijikata-san stood awkwardly to the side as he examined the new arrival that was attached to my side.

"Oh yay! Let's go!" Kyoko-chan exclaimed excitedly before dragging me out the bank and towards the market. "What do you need to get?"

"Some sugar and cinnamon." Hijikata-san answered for me.

Kyoko-chan comically froze be for she turned around and glared at Hijikata-san, who she had just noticed for the first time.

"Who the hell are you?" she demanded with narrowed eyes. For someone who appeared so lady-like, Kyoko-chan could get pretty foul-mouthed and rude.

"What the hell was with that rude question?!" Hijikata-san fired back.

"Like you're one to say anything! You were rude right back! Let's see… good looking, long black hair, stick stuck up his ass… AH! You're Hijikata!"

"Stick stuck up my ass?" he asked, completely baffled by her behavior. "Wait! What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Exactly what it sounds like!" Kyoko-chan pulled down one of her lower eyelids with a finger and stuck her tongue out at Hijikata-san.

Hijikata-san stared at Kyoko-chan with bewilderment before turning to me for an answer to my friend's behavior.

"The market's that way" I said cheerfully, purposely ignoring Hijikata-san's questioning glance.

* * *

[1] Geisha (芸者), geiko (芸子) or geigi (芸妓) are traditional Japanese female entertainers that are trained as professional singers, dancers, and companions for men. The word geisha itself means artist. As artists, geisha are trained to entertain men in either a professional or social gathering. The skills geisha use to entertain male customers include serving tea, playing instruments, cultural dances, and the art of conversation. As skilled entertainers, Geisha must go through a training program so they can learn the skills needed to entertain. This process can take anywhere from six months to three years.

[2] Sentō (銭湯) is a type of Japanese communal bath house where customers pay for entrance. Traditionally these bath houses have been quite utilitarian, with a tall barrier separating the sexes within one large room, a minimum of lined up faucets on both sides and a single large bath for the already washed bathers to sit in among others.

[3] A two hour period that is roughly from 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.

[4] The function of the tasuki was to prevent the sleeves of the kimono from interfering with movement of the arms.

[5] Yatsuhashi (八ツ橋 or 八橋) is a Japanese confectionery sold mainly as a souvenir sweet (miyagegashi). It is one of the best known meibutsu (famous regional products) of Kyoto. It is made from glutinous rice flour (上新粉 jōshinko), sugar and cinnamon. Baked, it is similar to senbei. Raw, unbaked yatsuhashi (Nama yatsuhashi) has a soft, mochi-like texture and is often eaten wrapped around red bean paste (餡 an), and may come in a variety of different flavours.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." ― Anonymous, _Holy Bible: New International Version_

The coast was clear. Now all I had to do was make a mad dash for the front gates. Hijikata-san was serious about no one leaving headquarters alone last time and it was completely impossible to leave headquarters alone now unless I snuck out. I had tried my original plan to leave with Ibuki-kun on his daily shopping choir the other day, but it failed in so many ways. The first reason the plan failed was because Ikubi-kun had absolutely no combative skills. Hijikata-san caught me trying to leave with Ibuki-kun and refused to let me leave, seeing that Ibuki-kun would be dead weight if a fight broke out. The second reason was all Souji's fault. Souji appeared while I was arguing with Hijikata-san over having Ibuki-kun as my only escort out. Souji caught on to what the argument was about and gave Ibuki-kun the evil-eye. Poor Ibuki-kun was so terrified that he bolted out the gate. Because he left so quickly, I was left without a way out of the compound. I was stuck inside that whole day.

Ready set go—

"I hope you aren't thinking of leaving by yourself. That would be highly unwise." Sannan-san's voice eerily came from behind. I froze up immediately and instantly broke out into cold sweat.

Of all the people I had to be caught by. I could take Hijikata-san's scolding, but Sannan-san was just terrifying. Suddenly, running for the front gate, never seemed so appealing.

"Well… umm…." I stuttered under Sannan-san's kind-looking, dark gaze while slowly inching away from him.

"Yes?" Sannan-san said with a smile as he crossed his arms. His glasses glinted in the morning sun, giving him a more menacing aura.

"Shizuka-chan? Sannan-san?" Heisuke suddenly asked as he casually strolled by at that moment. Yes! I was never so thankful that Heisuke appeared. "What are you guys doing?"

"T-there you are, Heisuke!" I nervously called out to him before I quickly ran up to him and latched on to his arm. "Why did you take so long? Let's go already!"

Dragging him outside with me as quickly as possible, I bolted out of Sannan-san's presence. I was planning on going out alone, but I'd do just about anything to get away from Sannan-san at that moment. If I stayed there and waited for the punishment that Sannan-san had, without a doubt, planned for me… No, I wasn't going to think about it. Now I just had to find some way to ditch Heisuke along the way.

"Whoa! W-wait! Where are we going?" Heisuke exclaimed in surprise as I dragged him off.

"I just wanted to get away from Sannan-san." I replied honestly. "I wasn't going to wait around for him to decide on my punishment for trying to sneak out."

"You were trying to sneak out again? And did you just make me your accomplice?!"

"Not really. It only counts as sneaking out if I go out by myself. As long as one of you guys come with, then it's okay."

"So I won't get in trouble for this?" he asked.

"No, but you will when I ditch you." I answered bluntly.

"When you ditch me?! Shizuka-chan!"

That situation with Sannan-san was just too stressful and energy sapping. I didn't even have the energy to lie anymore. If I made a run for it now, I could safety lose Heisuke in the crowd and meet up with Kyoko—

"There you are Shizuka-chan!" Kyoko-chan said with a wave before she broke free from the crowds and ran up to meet me.

I hung my head in defeat. There was no way to ditch Heisuke now that Kyoko-chan was here. Just why the hell was I so damn unlucky today? I swear Sannan-san must secretly be a black cat.

"Wow… so pretty…" Heisuke voiced his thoughts breathily when he saw Kyoko-chan.

"You were taking longer than normal, so I left our meeting spot to look for you." Kyoko-chan told me happily before looking at Heisuke. "Oh! Another one of the guys you live with!"

"Eh?" Heisuke quickly snapped out of his daze when he realized Kyoko-chan was looking at him. "Oh! My name is—"

"Wait! Don't tell me! I want to guess!" she interrupted as she raised her hand in a stop gesture. "Lemme see…" she said as she began her careful examination of Heisuke. "Nope! Shizuka-chan never described you to me whenever we talked about who she lived with." she concluded in the end.

"Wait, what?" Heisuke exclaimed unhappily before he rounded on me. "Why didn't you talk about me when you mentioned the other guys?"

"Do you want the truth or an unbelievable, elaborate lie I just made up on the spot?" I asked plainly.

"Hey! I was being serious!" Heisuke complained. So was I.

"The truth please." Kyoko-chan said as she arched her fine eyebrow at me.

"I forgot about Heisuke." I answered bluntly. I had a senior moment of epic proportions.

"Haah?! How the hell do you forget about me! You're always getting me into trouble, but you forgot about me?!" Heisuke yelled while looking cheated. "Forget it! I'm going home!" he declared before he stomped back towards the compound. Oops. I'll make it up to him later. On the bright side, I didn't have to find a way to ditch him now.

Kyoko-chan raised her eyebrow at me and my forgetfulness. "He seemed rather upset. Are you sure that he'll be okay?" she asked.

"I'll just cook an extra dish for him for lunch to make up for it. He won't mind so much then." I answered. "So, by the way, I won't be able to meet you alone from now on unless I sneak out. The guys are overprotective and don't want me going out by myself now."

"I don't mind. Yay! More eye candy!"

"Aren't you already engaged?"

"That doesn't mean I can't enjoy the view. And plus, Kenji is a childhood friend too. He already knows I like eye candy." She said nonchalantly before becoming more serious. "But if you can't leave the guys behind, won't they find out about your plan to dispose of Serizawa?"

Kyoko-chan was the only one that knew about my plan I hatched to remove Serizawa. Since she wasn't a part of the Roshigumi, Serizawa wouldn't be able to target Kyoko-chan without being severely criticized. Kyoko-chan was also the one with all the connections in this city. She would be in charge of destroying Serizawa's reputation and in charge of building up Otou-san reputation once the Roshigumi obtained sponsorship from clan Aizu. She would spread gossip and rumors when the time came. However, the process would be slower than I would like. The lack of social media would make the process much slower than it would be in the future, but it would get done. Her connections would ensure that word of Serizawa's destroyed reputation would reach officials of Kyoto. Serizawa's time as a head of the Roshigumi was limited. I was really glad I met Kyoko-chan; she was really the one making my plan feasible by pulling the strings of the community.

"Well, I'll deal with the problem when it comes time to cross the bridge." I sighed. "So what's going on in the city right now? Have any new patients for me to treat today?"

"Oh yeah! I have some great news actually. There was word flying around in the upper social circles. The Aizu Domain has decided that they would sponsor the Roshigumi! The Roshigumi will be used as a type of special police force to deal with ronin."

"Really?!" This was the moment I was waiting for. It was almost time to tighten the hangman's noose.

"Yup! Your otou-san will probably announce the news to the men this afternoon. As for possible patients… a maiko[1] fell down the stairs and broke her arm, the wife of a dango store owner burned her hand pretty seriously, and Maki-san was diagnosed with tuberculosis."

"Tuberculosis?" I repeated. That was interesting.

Tuberculosis was a curious disease. Back before modern times, TB was known as the incurable disease and was highly contagious. Because people diagnosed always died from TB, an extremely negative stigma was given to people who caught the disease. But in the future, TB was treatable. If the treatment plan was followed to the dot, then it was very possible to kill off all the TB causing bacteria in the lungs. While treating respiratory issues was not my specialty, seeing as I was a trauma surgeon, I did come across a case of TB during my internship back in my previous life. The standard treatment for the disease was not too difficult, but creating the drugs needed for the treatment during this era would be insanely hard. I would have to find a way to get my hands on some isoniazid, rifampin, ethambutol, and pyrazinamide. But even though those drugs were used to treat a life threatening disease, they weren't 100% good for the body either. Each of these drugs caused some pretty nasty side effects just by themselves and when using all the drugs together to treat TB, the patient could feel the combination of all the side effects at once[2].

"You can't be serious?!" Kyoko-chan exclaimed when she saw the face I was making while thinking. "I know that you're a great physician, but even you can't cure tuberculosis! That disease is incurable!"

"I like a good challenge. But tuberculosis can be cured." I stated with a small, confident smile. "Tuberculosis is caused by malignant bacteria in the lungs. I know of drugs that can kill off the bacterial infections."

Her eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. "Seriously?!" she exclaimed.

"Yes, but I would have to synthesize the drugs myself and all the materials and supplies needed are difficult to obtain."

Kyoko-chan grinned and took what I said as a challenge. "Difficult to obtain? Leave everything to me! If Shizuka-chan says she can cure tuberculosis then I can get everything you need!"

I smiled back. Her enthusiasm was always contagious. "But for now, let's look at the other two people I can help now." I said before letting Kyoko-chan lead the way.

* * *

Every single person in the Roshigumi was seated in the main hall of the Yagi house. Every person looked ahead eagerly, wondering what news the leaders had wanted to announce to everyone. I sat in the back corner of the room, seeing as I wasn't officially considered an actual member of the Roshigumi. Men and their male chauvinistic beliefs.

"Everyone, listen up!" Otou-san began, gaining everyone's attention. "We just received a letter from Lord Aizu, the Kyoto Military Commissioner. He is going to officially place us under his charge."

Everyone cheered all at the news all at once. The long waiting period was over and the Roshigumi would be allowed to stay in Kyoto. The answer from clan Aizu could not have been any better. I could hear parts of conversations that the men started up from the good news in my corner.

"Sweet! Now we can go all-out on our patrols!"

"Man, this is great!"

"Looks like we're gonna be gettin' busy."

"My, isn't this wonderful news?"

"Yeah, it's great that Lord Aizu acknowledged our ability!"

Yup, everyone was really cheerful. But I have to say that my mood soured quite quickly when I heard Niimi speak up.

"It's amazing how Serizawa-sensei swayed the Shogunate!" Niimi praised Serizawa. "Isn't it. Tonouchi-kun?" This man was a complete suck up and not only was he a complete suck up, but he was terrible at flattering people.

The man named Tonouchi sat on Niimi's right side and he was also one of Serizawa's men. I never like neither of those men. Both of them just felt so slimy and gross to be around. I may not like Serizawa, but it was amazing how he could stand to have those two around.

"Indeed!" Tonouchi answered Niimi's question.

"You're overreacting." Serizawa said while looking pleased at having his ego stroked.

"Not at all!" Niimi replied. "Remember what they said? He said that he was willing to grant us permission to remain in Kyoto with you standing at the center of the corps!"

"The results would have been different without you, Serizawa-dono!" Tonouchi added.

Sour expressions appeared on Hijikata-san's and Sannan-san's faces. Looks like all three of us had the same exact feelings about those words.

"Well then, let's drink to our success at Shimabara." Serizawa said before standing up and calling out to Shinpachi-san, who was preparing to leave the room like the other men. "Nagakura-kun, come join us."

"Eh?" Shinpachi-san froze and turned to face Serizawa with dread before he quickly tried to find a way out of the invitation. "N-nah it would hurt your name if a good-fer-nothin' like me were seen with you."

Poor Shinpachi-san. Serizawa had taken a liking to Shinpachi-san since they were from the same school of kenjutsu and because they were both, technically, of the samurai class. Shinpachi-san always tried to avoid Serizawa but failed miserably at it. He would always get dragged out drinking with Serizawa and then he would always be forced to act as Serizawa's tranquilizer if a situation got out of hand. I didn't envy Shinpachi-san's position at all.

"My name is not so fragile that you could damage it by acting somewhat rowdy." Serizawa pushed his invitation.

"In-in that case, uh… Heisuke and Sano are coming!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed as Sano-san and Heisuke walked by. Both men stopped walking at the mention of their names with a sour look on their faces at Shinpachi-san's suggestion. "The more the merrier and all! Souji, Saito, you're comin' too? Right?" Shinpachi-san quickly added.

Both said men also stopped walking and stared at Shinpachi-san. I guess what they said about misery was true: misery loves company.

"Kondou-kun, naturally you will come join me as well." Serizawa said to Otou-san as he tried to add more people to his growing list of party guests.

Otou-san, who was speaking to Hijikata-san at that moment, turned to answer Serizawa. "Well… This is a bit embarrassing, but I abstain from alcohol." Otou-san said good-naturedly with a kind smile.

"What, you can't drink?" Niimi asked. His question was more of a taunt if anything. "Isn't that bad for a warrior that speaks of politics?"

"Please go out and enjoy yourselves." Otou-san said with a smile, unfazed by Niimi's taunt.

"Hmph!" Serizawa voiced his displeasure at being turned down before turning to Ibuki-kun, who was also in the process of leaving the room. "What about you? I bet you haven't been to the red-light district, have you, Feral Dog?"

"There's no way—" Ibuki-kun started only to be interrupted by Shinpachi-san grabbing and putting a hand over his mouth.

"Rynosuke said he's comin!" Shinpachi-san answered loudly instead. Ibuki-kun struggled helplessly in Shinpachi-san's grasp.

Well, I'd leave the guys to go do their thing. Right now, I needed to focus on possible various methods used to synthesize the drugs needed to treat TB. If I could synthesize the drugs, then I could expand my treatment range and bring in more income. Plus, it wouldn't hurt to have a cure for TB on hand. TB was a big problem in the future and was an even bigger problem in this era.

* * *

"What?!" I heard Hijikata-san's voice through the walls of my room, late at night, disturbing my focus on my research.

Just what was there to yell so loudly about? There was almost no one in headquarters to yell at, seeing that everyone had gone out to Shimabara. It was probably more effective to get up and see what happened.

I left my research on the table in my room and headed to where Hijikata-san and Otou-san were. Both men were sitting on the floor with Heisuke, who was out of breath, standing in front of them.

"Heisuke? Why are you back alone?" I asked concernedly. "Did something happen?"

"Serizawa's what happened." Hijikata-san answered with his eyes closed in frustration. "We need to go do some damage control. Shizuka, you're coming too. Apparently, Serizawa injured a maiko."

That man was a plague on the earth he walked on. Couldn't he go one day without causing trouble for the rest of us?

"Was she badly injured?" I asked Heisuke.

"Not from what I could see." said Heisuke. "Serizawa-san threw a saké cup at her face."

Ah… so it was the face. Maiko and geisha needed to keep their faces pristine for business. Makeup could hide the discoloration of a bruise, but if the area was swollen then there would be little makeup could do to hide the puffiness of the injury. I better go and make sure there was no lasting damage.

"Heisuke can take me to the maiko." I told Hijikata-san. "I'll meet up with you and Otou-san after I'm done."

* * *

The injury the maiko had was nothing serious, just a small bump. Apparently, she received it because she spoke back to Serizawa. I applauded her bravery but questioned her course of action. She clearly couldn't defend herself if Serizawa had decided to do more. She was very lucky that the guys were there to diffuse the situation. As I headed towards the room Hijikata-san and Otou-san were in at Sumiya[3] in the red-light district, Serizawa and Niimi walked pass me. They must have left Otou-san and Hijikata-san to deal with the mess that they created. I walked in the room just as Hijikata-san punched the floor angrily. Souji was, strangely, still in the room, unlike the other guys.

"He does whatever he wants!" Hijikata-san yelled in outrage while glaring at the floor. "We're no different than those rogue samurai!"

Souji ignored Hijikata-san's outburst and remained frozen in place while staring down at the tray in front of him as Hijikata-san seethed. Why wasn't he responding to Hijikata-san's actions? Souji always had something to say when Hijikata-san did something. Serizawa must have said or done something to him.

I knelt down next to him and gently laid my hand on his shoulder. "Souji?" I called out to him concernedly.

There was no response. That bastard must have done something to Souji. Souji never ignored me when I tried to speak to him.

"Souji, talk to me. Please?" I pleaded softly as I reached down to take his hand. "What happened?"

He remained silent for a while longer before he looked at my hand then up at my eyes. His emerald eyes hid his distress poorly as he stroked my hand with his thumb.

"Shizuka, do you think of me as a child?" he asked me with quiet seriousness. His quiet gazed stared deep into me and demanded an answer. What did Serizawa say to him?

"What happened?" I asked gently with a tilt of my head.

"Answer my question." Souji just merely demanded.

I was stunned at Souji's behavior. I had never seen Souji like this before. Just what exactly happened here? What did Serizawa say to him?

"I see…" Souji said dejectedly before he averted his gaze as he took my silence to be the answer. He got up and headed towards the door of the banquet hall. "I'm heading back." he called back.

"Souji, wait!"

He stopped walking for a few seconds when he heard me before continuing. I moved to go after him, but stopped when Hijikata-san spoke.

"Shizuka, how was the maiko?" he asked. Hijikata-san and Otou-san were so wrapped up in damage control that they had missed the entire exchange between Souji and me.

"She's fine. All she has is a small bump on her forehead." I answered in a hurry. I had to catch up to Souji. There was no way I was going to leave him alone like this. "I'm going back now." I called back as I ran out the door. Souji was already nowhere in sight by the time I got to the streets.

"Shizuka? Oh, how was that maiko?" Sano-san asked me when he saw me run out of Sumiya. He was standing by the entrance of Sumiya with Ibuki-kun. "Shizuka? What's with that worried face? Did something happen?" he asked when I ignored him and continued to search the streets for Souji.

"What did Serizawa say to Souji?" I suddenly swung around and demanded when it became clear that Souji was no longer in Shimabara[4].

Sano-san looked away before sighing tiredly, "It's not my place to say."

He was not going to get away with that answer. I needed an answer now. "I don't care if it isn't your place to say. Tell me."

All Sano-san did was shake his head at me. Fine then, let's kick this up another level.

"If you don't tell me right now then I will put a laxative in all the food you eat and you will never be able to remember a day you did not have severe diarrhea." I threatened Sano-san. He quickly turned pale at my threat. "Tell me what I want to know right now."

"Whoa there! No need to follow through with that threat!" he cried in a panic before he spouted out all I wanted to know, "Souji threatened to cut Serizawa-san down, but Serizawa-san didn't take that threat seriously. He said that Souji was a 'snot-nosed brat' and that you viewed him as a child that needed to be taken care of."

What?! How dare Serizawa put words in my mouth? He was not me nor did he hold any privy to my thoughts. Souji was definitely no child. If anything, Souji was the one that was always taking care of me and my mental breakdowns back when we were kids. He was always more mature than he acted.

"Shizuka?!" Sano-san yelled after me as I suddenly turned and sprinted back towards headquarters. I refuse to let Serizawa destroy my most precious relationship.

I got back to the Yagi house in record time, but it still felt like it was not soon enough. I rushed to Souji's room without stopping to catch my breath, my personal needs could wait. The door to Souji's room was shut and the room was dark, but I knew Souji was inside. I slipped in the room without permission and closed the door again for privacy. Souji was lying on his side on the floor as he stared at the wall, his back was facing me. I went and knelt behind him before I ran my hand down his arm to get his attention.

"I want to be alone right now." was all he said. He didn't even look at me.

I wasn't going to give up. I refused to let Souji push me away without telling me why.

"I heard from Sano-san about what Serizawa said—"

Souji sat up quickly, interrupting me. He glared at me with venom I had never received from him before.

"You've always thought of me as a child, haven't you?!" he spat out at me. My eyes widened in shock. "You've always pitied me from the beginning, right?! You've lied to me ever since the beginning! I thought you were like Kondou-san, someone that never lied to me and treated me kindly because of the kindness in your own heart! I thought you were someone I could trust in this rotten world! You never really cared for me and just pitied me! Get out!"

Tears started to well up in my eyes. No matter what a person has gone through, rejection of this magnitude will always sting. Did Serizawa really make him think this or was this something that Souji had always thought and carried with him? Did he never really come to trust me like I had come to trust him? What he said had really hurt. I had always thought that emotional pain was more painful than physical pain. I honestly would rather be gutted again instead. How was it that he could worm his way in to my heart the way he did, then turn around and say that I didn't really care for him? If he would really be happier if I removed myself from his life, then I would do so. His happiness was worth a thousand times more to me than my own, but I wasn't going to leave without correcting his assumptions first.

I looked him directly in the eye as I answered so that he could see that I wasn't lying. "I never pitied you and I have never lied to you. I may have withheld information, but I have never lied to you. I always tried to make sure you were happy because it physically hurt when you were upset. I did this because I really did care for you. You knew me better than Otou-san did and I trusted you the most because of it. You are the most precious person to me and because you are my most precious person, I will remove myself from your life if you wish it."

I buried my face into my hands after I finished speaking to keep the tears from dripping to the floor. I haven't cried like this in years. I hated my tears. Because my face was in my hands, I did not see the look of venom on Souji's face become one of horror.

I got up and slowly walked towards the door to leave. If Souji did not want me around anymore, then I had no reason to spend more time with him.

"Shizuka! Wait!"

I paused when he called out to me, but I didn't stay. After a few seconds, I broke into a run to get away. He already told me he didn't want me around. I wouldn't…I couldn't stay here any longer so he could continue to hurt me. No matter how much I did care for him, there was only so many unkind words I could take from him before I broke. I needed to get out of here. As I reached the door, I was suddenly jerked backwards and pulled into a tight embrace.

"Let go." I said shakily as I barely managed to hold back a pitiful sob.

"No…" came a sorrowful voice before he buried his face into the back of my neck. "No… Don't leave me… Please…don't leave me."

I needed to get out of here. I wasn't going to stay here if Souji didn't want me here. As I was about to elbow him to get him to let go of me, I froze as I felt tears drip down my neck and onto my back. If he didn't want me here anymore then why…why was he crying?

"…Please…" he exhaled slowly and shakily as he tightened his grip around my waist. "…Don't leave me here alone… Don't hate me… Please… I didn't mean anything that I just said… So…please… Don't leave me too…"

… Don't leave too…that's right… Souji had already had to suffer through one abandonment. I couldn't… No, I wouldn't allow myself to hurt Souji this way. When we were younger, we had always called each other partners and partners never abandoned their other half, never let the other half suffer. I wouldn't leave Souji if he didn't want me to. I wouldn't be just another person that abandoned him too.

I turned in his embrace to hug him back tightly. Souji moved his face so that it now rested on my shoulder.

"…Don't leave me…don't leave me… don't leave…" he kept mumbling quietly as he kept his face buried against my shoulder.

"I'll only leave if you want me to." I gently whispered into his ear as I rubbed his back. "If you want me to stay, then I will. Don't cry, I'm won't leave."

Souji refused to let go of me for the rest of the night, even when it was time to sleep. He held on to me so tightly in his sleep that even if I tried to leave, I wouldn't have been able to.

* * *

[1] Maiko (舞妓) is an apprentice Geiko in Kyoto, western Japan. Their jobs consist of performing songs, dances, and playing the shamisen for visitors during feasts. Maiko are usually aged 15 to 20 years old and become Geiko after learning how to dance, play the shamisen, and learning Kyō-kotoba, regardless of their origins.

[2] CDC website: Tuberculosis

[3] Sumiya was originally an ageya (pleasure house), where guests were entertained by tayū (oiran), who provided artistic entertainment as well as sex, by the late Edo period it was exclusively a restaurant and non-sexual entertainment space.

[4] Shimabara (嶋原, often simplified to 島原, sometimes styled 嶌原) was the designated courtesans' district (yūkaku) in Kyoto, from 1640, and later also a geisha district (hanamachi). It is now defunct, both as a courtesans' district (prostitution was outlawed in Japan in 1958) and as a geisha district (since the 1970s), and thus is often excluded from the list of Kyoto hanamachi. It continues to operate as a tourist area, however, and does have one operating ochaya.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

"For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home." ― Stephanie Perkins, _Anna and the French Kiss_

It was the Hour of the Tiger, so it was time to get out of bed and start cooking breakfast, but I had a slight problem. Souji's incredibly tight grip on me had not loosened overnight and it would be impossible to get up without waking him. He was tired from the emotional conflict that had occurred between us last night, so I didn't want to wake him up and disturb his rest, especially because I always woke up an hour earlier than almost everyone else did. After a couple more minutes of hopelessly struggling to get loose, I gave up and decided I had to wake him up to get loose.

"Souji." I softly called his name while rubbing his side gently. I believe most people preferred the gentle wake-up-calls over the loud and abrupt ones. I know I certainly did. There was a reason I once threw my alarm clock, in my past life, against the wall when it wouldn't shut up.

"Mmm," Souji stirred before opening his eyes sleepily. "Shizuka? What is it?" he murmured tiredly. "It's still dark out."

"I need you to let go now." I told him softly as I stop rubbing his side to rest my hand on his hip. "I have to get up now to make breakfast if all the food is to be finished by the time everyone gets out of bed."

My words had the opposite effect of what I wanted. Instead of letting go of me, Souji tightened his hold on me while looking disappointed.

"Can't everyone just make their own breakfast today?" he mumbled before he nuzzled the crook of my neck. "Stay here with me until it's time for me to get out of bed. Please?"

I couldn't stop the small smile that formed on my lips at Souji's request. He was just so… I thought he was so cute when he was like this. It felt nice to feel needed and wanted by someone and it sucked to have to deny his request.

"I can't." I said gently as I ran my fingers through his hair. "I know everyone prefers to have a nice hot breakfast waiting for them once they wake up. Besides, if there's no food then Hijikata-san will assume that I snuck out early in the morning again and will start stalking me again. Remember when he stalked me three days straight last week?"

"Tsk! Stupid Hijikata-san!" Souji muttered darkly as his hold loosened around my waist before he sat up. "If Shizuka's getting up now, then I will too."

"You don't have to get up now." I said as I rolled out of his futon and stood up. "I know you usually sleep a little longer."

Souji sighed before he got out of his futon too, regardless of what I said. He wrapped both of his arms around my waist from behind and placed his chin on my shoulder. I turned to look him in the eye and was greeted with a soft, unreadable expression.

"I want to." Souji answered softly. "It's been a long time since we've been able to spend some time alone like this together."

That was true. It had been a long time. With all the time I spent running around outside, I haven't been spending much time with him lately. Other than the constant presence of Serizawa, it was no wonder he was so moody nowadays. Then, when Kyoko-chan was thrown into the equation, Souji must have thought he was being replaced in my life. He must have been terribly upset this whole time and had probably started to compare Kyoko-chan and mine relationship to Otou-san and Hijikata-san's relationship. He didn't want to be the third wheel.

"Okay." I agreed before kissing his cheek. "Why don't you come with me today when I head out?"

Souji's mood brightened up instantly at my invitation. After all this time, I was finally asking him to come out with me on my mysterious, daily rounds. He planted a quick, chaste kiss on my lips before he released me, which I found a bit strange. He was always affectionate towards me, but never before had I received any kisses from him before. He was always the one accepting the small kisses on the cheek from me, if I didn't count that one kiss from when I was sneaking out of headquarters. Well, I wasn't going to worry about it. I was sure he was just happy and excited that he was now finally allowed to come with me.

"Why don't you go ahead and start on breakfast first." Souji suggested as he began to gather his change of clothing for the day. "I'll be there to help you as soon as I finish my morning routine. Unless…" he said as he gained a mischievous grin, "you want to help me dress first."

He was playful this morning. I think I'll just play along with his little game right now.

"I don't mind." I said playfully but honestly as I approached him to take his clothing out of his hands. I noticed that as I approached him, he froze like a deer in the headlights.

"W-wait, what?" he stuttered as he turned a bright, cherry red color before he looked away in embarrassment.

Wait, why was he turning red like this? We use to tease each other all the time like this and I never got Souji to react like this. Did something change? Did he not feel as comfortable around me as he once did?

"Are you okay, Souji?" I asked with concern. "I was only playing along. Did I make you feel uncomfortable?"

"No, you didn't do anything wrong." he said in a quick rush before he pulled his clothing out of my hands and gently shoved me out the door. "I'll see you in the kitchen in a bit." And the door was shut in my face.

* * *

"So you're going to introduce me to this Kyoko today?" Souji asked a bit sourly. When I mentioned that we were going to meet up with Kyoko-chan, he looked none too pleased.

"Yup!" I said cheerfully. "Don't make that face. I know you'll like her."

"Really?" he asked with a frown.

I nodded before I spotted Kyoko-chan at our usual meeting spot. "Oh, there she is!" I pointed. I grabbed Souji's hand and pulled him with me as I ran up to Kyoko-chan.

When Kyoko-chan saw me, she jumped up from the bench and slammed into me with a hug. I dropped Souji's hand to keep myself from toppling over from the force she ran at me with.

"Shizuka-chan~!" she sang. "What took so long~?"

Before I could answer, Souji grabbed Kyoko-chan's arms and began to pry her off of me. Displeasure at Kyoko-chan's close physical contact with me was written clearly all over his face.

"You're in her personal space." he growled dangerously with narrowed eyes. He was such a hypocrite, seeing that he always liked keeping me within arm's reach.

"Hey!" Kyoko-chan protested at the forced removal. "Just what do you think your—" she started her angry rant before she got a closer look at Souji. Her face then erupted into a sly grin. "Oh! I know you! You're Okita Souji!"

That grin on her face… I definitely didn't like the look of the grin plastered on Kyoko-chan's face. She was planning something and I had the feeling that I was involved in her nefarious plan. Now the question would be what did she have planned for me?

"I'm flattered that you know who I am." Souji said flatly as he looped an arm protectively around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

Kyoko-chan's grin became almost impossibly wider at the affirmation before she turned to me.

"Shizuka-chan, go over to that shopkeeper to ask him something for me." she said.

"Ask him what?"

"Something." she replied unhelpfully.

"What is this 'something'?" I pushed. I wanted an answer. Why was she being…being so weird?

"Umm… Ask him about his dishware."

"He's clearly selling ink sticks. You want to speak to Souji alone, don't you?" I concluded as she eyed Souji through the corner of her eye. "All you have to do is say so. Just what are you planning?"

"What makes you think I'm planning anything?" she asked all too innocently.

"You always have that glint in your eyes when you're planning something." I said.

"Oh, I guess I'll have to fix that… Why are you still here? Go ask that shopkeeper already!"

"What are you planning?"

"What makes you think that?"

"You just told me in your previous statement!"

"No I didn't." she denied.

This argument was going nowhere. Fine, if she really wanted me to, then I'll go talk to the shopkeeper and give those two some space. But there was no way I'm going to ask the shopkeeper about dishware. I wasn't going to let myself look that stupid.

"Fine," I sighed, "I'll go."

Kyoko-chan looked pleased at her victory while Souji merely raised his eyebrow at our whole exchange. Yeah, I'll bet that was strange to watch. Souji released his hold on me, abet unwillingly, to let me go speak to the shopkeeper Kyoko-chan pointed at earlier.

"Excuse me…" I said as I approached the shopkeeper hesitantly to begin our conversation.

After several long minutes of conversing with the shopkeeper, who saw it fit to tell me about his whole family's history and how they got into the ink manufacturing business, I returned where both Souji and Kyoko-chan were.

"I hope you two are done. I just had a very long and fascinating conversation about ink with an overenthusiastic merchant." I said sarcastically.

"Huh? We weren't talking about anything." Kyoko-chan denied. Just how dense did Kyoko-chan think I was?

"Right…" I said disbelievingly. "Shall we get going?"

Just as I finished speaking, Kyoko-chan let out a loud, fake sounding groan before hunching over while clutching her lower abdomen.

"Oh no!" she cried over exaggeratedly, "I have menstruation cramps. I can't go with you guys. It hurts too much! I'm gonna go home to rest. You two go out together. OH! I'm in PAIN!"

She was totally faking it, and not only that, she was a terrible actor.

"Really?" My tone should have been enough to let her know that I didn't believe her.

"I'm gonna go. Have fun you two." she said over her faked pain as she started to hobble back home.

"Kyoko-chan?" I called after her.

"I'm in soo much pain!" she wailed back at me.

Before she vanished into the crowd, she turned around and gave Souji a thumb's up and a wink, while I could still see her. She then straightened up and skipped into the crowd, unhindered by her "pain". Just who did she think she was trying to fool? A blind man?

"Interesting friend you have there." Souji said as we both stared at the spot where Kyoko-chan vanished.

"… I don't even know how to answer you." I said while I was still flabbergasted at my friend's behavior.

"But, you know," Souji began as he looked down at me, "you were right. I do like her."

I beamed back at him and grabbed his hand again. "Since Kyoko-chan's not here, why don't just the both of us go explore the city?" I suggested cheerfully.

He smiled softly back at me before he asked, "Where do you want to go?"

"Can we go look at some hair ornaments?"

Ever since arriving in Kyoto, I became painfully aware of how plain my appearance was. All the women had these beautiful hair pins in their elegant hairstyles while my hair was always just twisted in a simple bun. I felt like such a little girl compared to the other elegant women here. I was being a little vain, but I think I was allowed to after looking at all the other women every day. The women in this city also wore very feminine kimonos while I wore a hakama, and on occasion, a plain purple kimono. Granted the hakama I wore was very beautiful and feminine, as Tsune-san did design it with me in mind, I couldn't help but feel somewhat lacking as a woman. A simple hair pin should be enough for me to feel more elegant.

"Alright." Souji said before leading me toward the accessory stalls.

After browsing the stalls in the center marketplace for a few hours, we both came across a stall that sold nothing but kanzashi[1]. Souji stopped walking before he turned to grin at me.

"Come here." he said as he tugged on my hand.

He plucked a single crimson kanzashi from the table. This was not the hair ornament I had in mind. I was just looking for a basic one, not something so elaborate. It was an expensive looking hana kanzashi[2] folded from fine silk. There were three flowers folded from red and white silk on top of a single brass prong. From each flower, there were two strands of folded red and white petals dangling from each attachment point on the flowers. It was gorgeous, expensive, and something I could never dream of holding, let alone, wear in my hair.

"Oh! You have good taste there sir!" the shopkeeper exclaimed in the background.

Souji released my hand and went to put his, now free, hand under my chin. He raised my head to the appropriate height before he inserted the kanzashi in the space between my hair bun and my head.

"Beautiful." Souji said with a soft smile while laying his hand gently on my cheek.

"It does look good indeed." added the shopkeeper as he tried to make a sale. "Why don't you have a look? I have a looking glass here."

Souji lowered his hand to allow me to move to get a look at myself in the mirror. I felt like I looked extremely lady-like and elegant with the kanzashi in my hair. This single hair piece made a world of a difference from my usual appearance, but it was probably too expensive.

"Do you like it?" asked Souji.

"Yes, but—"

"How much?" Souji interrupted me as he asked the shopkeeper for the price.

"Two ryō." the shopkeeper replied while smiling pleasantly.

Holy crap! That was freakishly expensive for a single hair ornament. A single ryō was equivalent to about ¥3,000 to ¥4,000 in modern day Japan and if it was converted to USD then the kanzashi would be worth anywhere from $53.42 to $71.23. This man was selling some expensive goods!

My eye popped out of my skull as Souji reached for his coin purse and pulled out the needed amount to pay for the kanzashi. I grabbed his arm before he could hand the money over. I couldn't let him pay for my things, especially for something so expensive. I knew that he didn't have much money to begin with and he shouldn't have to spend it on me.

"Wait!" I quickly said. "It's too expensive! And I can't let you pay for me! You should be spending your money on yourself and not me."

"If it's my money, then shouldn't I be the one to decide how to spend it?" he asked me with a smile. Damn, he got me there.

"But—" I objected.

"Don't worry about it." Souji interrupted me. "Think of it as a present and if you still feel guilty about it, then wear it every day for me. Okay?"

"Okay…" I yielded to him and let go of his arm so he could pay. I couldn't refuse his gift. "But I'm treating you to lunch right afterwards."

"Eh?" he said after he finished paying the man. "You already cook for me every day. There's no need for you to treat me."

I pulled him towards the restaurants on the other side of the streets.

"I cook for everyone. This time, I'm only treating you!" I wasn't going to let him win this debate.

"Only me, huh…" Souji said with a soft smile as he fondly looked down at me. "So you're going to let everyone fend for themselves for today's lunch?"

"They can survive one meal without me cooking. So what do you want to eat today?"

"I prefer your cooking, but if Shizuka insists. Well, let's see…" he pondered.

* * *

The sun was starting to set as we started walking back to the Yagi house. Today was fun and I couldn't remember the last time I spent the whole day alone with Souji. It was nice not to have spent my day working for money for my "Serizawa Removal Plan". I didn't get to tell Kyoko-chan about it being time to start the second part of the plan today because of the stunt she pulled earlier this morning, but that could wait for another day. I just have to remember to say thanks to her the next time I met up with her. As Souji and I began to cross a bridge near headquarters, I stopped to stare at the river below.

"Shizuka?" Souji called when I stopped.

"The river…" I started while feeling sentimental, "If I hadn't been placed on that abandoned fishing boat and shipped down the river then Otou-san would have never found me. I would have never met you. I never thought that I would say this, but I'm glad I was abandoned. I can't imagine life without you now."

"Shizuka…" Souji said as his expression softened and he moved to stand by my side. He was silent for a while before he spoke. "I've been meaning to ask you… Why didn't you reject me after what I said last night? Why don't you hate me now?"

I raised my eyes to Souji's face and was greeted by extreme worry that he was unable to hide. He still believed that he had damaged our relationship last night and it was like he couldn't believe that I was still here with him right now. He was still worried that I was going to leave him, abandon him, after last night's emotional conflict.

"Souji, it doesn't matter to me what you do or how you treat me. I could never hate you." I said as I softly cupped his face. "You were always there for me when I was going through some troubled times, so wouldn't it make sense that I would be there for you? I never forget an act of kindness. Besides, we're partners, right?"

The worry slipped from his face and his expression softened before he kissed my forehead. "Let's head back. We've been out long enough."

* * *

"HAH! There you guys are!" Shinpachi-san yelled loudly before pointing at us. Everyone, minus the Big Three, was gathered in the courtyard; even Ibuki-kun was there. "Because Shizuka-chan wasn't here, we had nothing but tofu for lunch!" Shinpachi-san complained verbosely.

"Shinpachi, there is nothing wrong with tofu. It is healthy for the body and a staple food." Saito-san defended. I was willing to bet that Saito-san cooked lunch today while I was with Souji.

"Oh? That's a pretty kanzashi you have there." Sano-san said when he noticed my new hair ornament before slyly glancing over at Souji. "Did Souji buy that for you?"

"Yes." I chirped happily before asking, "Why is everyone gathered here right now? Did something happen?" If everyone was gathered in one spot then something must have occurred while Souji and I were out.

"Hijikata-san and the others wrote some rules for everyone to follow while you guys were out." answered Heisuke.

"Rules?" Souji asked curiously.

"One: Do not deviate from the Way of the Warrior." Saito-san started listing off the rules. "Two: Desertion will not be tolerated. Three: Do not raise money without authorization. Four: Do not manage another's litigation without authorization. Five: Personal duels will not be tolerated. Whosoever breaks any of the rules listed must commit honorable suicide."

That was an incredibly strict set of rules for the Roshigumi. That third rule… I was never so glad I was not considered to be officially a part of the Roshigumi. The rules didn't technically apply to me, but for the other guys… They would have to follow those rules to the dot or their lives were forfeit.

"Dang, those rules are stupid!" Shinpachi-san grumbled unhappily after Saito-san had finished listing them. "What the hell were they thinking?"

"Those rules of conduct were definitely too strict." Sano-san agreed with Shinpachi-san.

However, not everyone seemed too bothered by the rules. Souji said, "If Kondou-san feels those rules are necessary, I will obey them." as he took the new rules in stride. Saito-san was also someone that didn't seemed too bothered by the new rules.

Heisuke, who was doodling on the dirt floor with a random stick he found on the ground, replied to Souji's statement. "That goes for me too… But I don't like my friends getting tied down by those rules…"

Heisuke was not taking the new rules very well and I could understand why. He valued everyone in the Roshigumi like family and as someone who constantly broke the rules that Hijikata-san set back at Shieikan Hall, the new rules were like chains to him.

"We will probably need it for the new recruits we will be getting henceforth." Saito-san spoke up as the voice of reason to defend Hijikata-san's decision.

"I know…" said Heisuke as he dropped the stick, "But it's kind of different from what I imagined…"

Ibuki-kun, who was just standing off to the side, looked slightly panicked, like he knew he barely dodged a bullet. He jumped when Souji spoke to him.

"You should probably be careful yourself." Souji suddenly warned Ibuki-kun.

"It's not like I'm a member of the Roshigumi!" Ibuki-kun exclaimed loudly with his usual bad attitude.

"But if Serizawa had to commit seppuku, then as his indentured servant, you would probably have to too." I spoke up.

Ibuki-kun's eyes widened in realization before yelling, "I'm leaving before I get caught up in any of this crap!" but he didn't seemed to believe his own words.

"Time to cook dinner." I said abruptly to change the topic. The mood was getting a bit too depressing too fast for my liking.

* * *

Heisuke raised his empty rice bowl in the air to signify that he wanted seconds during dinner. Ibuki-kun walked over to where Heisuke was sitting and Heisuke cheerfully placed the empty bowl on Ibuki-kun's tray.

"Pile it on!" Heisuke said to Ibuki-kun.

"You got it." Ibuki-kun instantly responded to the demand for more rice.

"The fragrance of this house is superb." Saito-san suddenly said, drawing both Heisuke's and Ibuki-kun's attention. "When eating freshly cooked white rice while enjoying the aroma, its true value becomes evident. Nothing is more complex than the simple things in life."

"Huh…" Ibuki-kun said after listening to Saito-san's monolog.

Meanwhile, taking advantage of the distraction, Shinpachi-san went ahead and stole more than half of Heisuke's sardine.

"WAH!" Heisuke yelled as he caught Shinpachi-san swallowing the stolen portion. "Shinpat-san, what do you think you're doing?!"

"See, in our world the strong eat the weak." Shinpachi-san justified as he grinned cheerfully.

"In that case, I'll—" Heisuke exclaimed while preparing to attack Shinpachi-san's food with his own chopsticks. The attack failed as Shinpachi-san blocked the strike with his chopsticks. "Why, you! You—! You—!" Heisuke exclaimed as each one of his attempts to steal food was blocked. Not being one to give up so easily, Heisuke continuously attacked Shinpachi-san's food. "Ryunosuke, don't let your guard down! You better be careful!" Heisuke yelled as Ibuki-kun stared at the little food war.

"Take someone's food before they take yours!" Shinpachi-san proclaimed as he blocked another one of Heisuke's attempts to steal.

"Really?" Ibuki-kun asked innocently before he made the fatal mistake of reaching for Saito-san's food.

Saito-san's chopsticks shot out towards Ibuki-kun's throat in faster than a blink of an eye. Ibuki-kun had no time to react and could only freeze in place.

"If you need me for something, wait until after I'm done eating." Saito-san stated as he narrowed his eyes in a menacing warning. "In the world of beasts, you have no right to complain if you get killed for disturbing a stronger animal's meal. Furthermore, this is one of my favorite dishes. Never go after it!" Saito-san finished with his glare becoming ten times scarier.

Scared shitless by Saito-san's sudden change in personality, Ibuki-kun fell backwards on his hind side and stuttered, "G-got it! M-my bad!"

Saito-san's glare vanished just as quickly as it appeared before he went back to eating his food calmly.

"You must not value your life." Sano-san said to Ibuki-kun offhandedly with an amused smirk while eating a sardine. "Of all the people here, I can't believe you went after Saito's food. You should have just asked Shizuka for some of the food on her tray."

Ibuki-kun averted his gaze before yelling, "I'm the type that eats his favorite food first!"

"No need to act like a tough guy all the time." I cut in as I offered him a kind smile. "All people get hungry. Come here after you refill Heisuke's bowl with rice, I prepared some extra food just for you."

"Oh, so that's why you have so much food on your tray." Ibuki-kun voiced his thoughts before filling Heisuke's bowl. He moved over to me afterwards to receive his portion of dinner.

"What is this pickle?" Shinpachi-san asked as he picked up the green vegetable on his tray and asked after a moment of silence to examine it. "Weeds? Are they even edible?"

"That's called mibuna[3]." Otou-san answered. "Farmers put their sweat and blood into growing it, so don't be a picky eater.

"Yeah, yeah." Shinpachi-san mumbled as he stuffed the greens into his mouth. "Kondou-san is so stern about stuff like that since he used to be a farmer."

Surprised at that revelation, Ibuki-kun asked, "He wasn't born into the warrior class?"

"Nope. But since Otou-san was so strong with a sword, the original master of Shieikan Hall adopted Otou-san as his heir." I answered with pride.

"Toshi," Otou-san called out to Hijikata-san off to the side when he noticed Hijikata-san was staring of into space and not eating, "why don't you put work out of your mind while you're eating?"

"Huh? Yeah, I should…" Hijikata-san said before Otou-san placed his sardine on Hijikata-san's plate. "What are you doing, Kondou-san?!" Hijikata-san scolded Otou-san for his actions.

"That wasn't enough, was it?" Otou-san asked, referring to the amount of food on Hijikata-san's tray. Ah, bromance at its finest. "Eat up."

"But you still haven't eaten a single bite!" Hijikata-san pointed out.

All Otou-san did was smile back at Hijikata-san before saying, "Back in our Shieikan days, you frequently shared your food with me."

"What brought this on? Knock it off! We're beyond such formalities, aren't we?"

"Oh, you're absolutely right!" Otou-san said before laughing out loud.

"Jeez, you're unbelievable…" Hijikata-san complained as he looked at Otou-san out of the corner of his eye. "No matter what the situation, you always place others before yourself"

"Do you remember that one time, Toshi?" Otou-san began to launch into another conversation with Hijikata-san as he ignored Hijikata-san's previous complaint.

Souji, who was seated next to me put down his bowl and stared at the two men with envy. I put down my bowl so I could rub his thigh to try and calm him down, but my actions had no effect.

"Anyway, we're finally in service of the Aizu Domain!" Shinpachi-san said as he started another side conversation.

"Couldn't we afford to upgrade our dinner?" Heisuke asked excitedly as he cut into Otou-san and Hijikata-san's conversation. "Well, Hijikata-san?"

Hijikata-san didn't answer right away. "That will have to wait until they start paying us." Hijikata-san finally said after quick moment of silence with closed eyes as he put down his bowl.

Wait, the Aizu Domain wasn't paying for the Roshigumi's services yet? Why? Wasn't the Roshigumi now working for the Aizu Domain now? I got that they were still hesitant about sponsoring a couple of nameless ronin, but we were on their payroll now. It wasn't right that they weren't paying us. What did we have to do to prove ourselves to them that we were worth the money?

Everyone quieted down and looked to Otou-san for an answer. He sighed before answering. "Well, they are probably uncertain as to whether or not we are worthy of their trust."

"Is that right…?" Heisuke said before everyone continued to eat in silence.

A few more seconds passed before Souji placed his chopsticks down on his empty bowl. "Thank you for the meal." he said to excuse himself.

"Souji, that was fast." Otou-san commented. Souji had been eating faster in the past few days so that he could spend more time in sword practice. It wasn't unusual to me, but I just wished that he would take better care of himself.

"I need to get in some sword practice. Right now every second counts." Souji explained to Otou-san before standing up to leave. As Souji was about to leave, Shinpachi-san spoke up.

"Practicing right after you eat is bad for your body."

Without turning back around to face everyone, Souji said, "Shinpachi-san and Hajime-kun got lucky. I'm dying to slay a bunch of those rogue samurai."

I placed my chopsticks and bowl down on my tray. Of all the things he had to say during dinner. This wasn't going to end well, especially with Hijikata-san and Otou-san both in the same room at the same time. All the other men made a small sound of shock at Souji's statement.

I knew that Souji had the urge to kill, to prove himself useful, but did he have to voice it now? I knew for some time now that Souji felt useless to Otou-san because he lacked the talents that Hijikata-san had that Otou-san was always saying were so useful. Souji had now come to believe that the only way to become useful to Otou-san was to use his talent with a sword to kill anyone in Otou-san's way. Killing would be easy for him too. He held no value in human lives due to the atrophy of his morals that occurred when he was bullied as a child. He wasn't innocent like Otou-san or Hijikata-san had believed him to be, but I knew better. This wasn't the first time Souji wanted to kill. Back when he was force to endure to beatings from the older students, Souji wanted to kill them for making him suffer. He wanted to watch them bleed and beg as he cut them down. The urge to kill was nothing new.

"What a thing to say." Sano-san said while losing his appetite.

"Souji, haven't you been acting weird lately?" Heisuke asked with concern as he put down his chopsticks.

"Souji, I want you to go back to Edo." Hijikata-san said suddenly with a serious expression. That was the wrong thing to say. Souji was definitely going to have a serious argument with Hijikata-san now.

Souji froze in horror at Hijikata-san's words before breaking out in cold sweat. "That joke wasn't the least bit funny." Souji denied the seriousness of the situation.

"I'm not joking." Hijikata-san said without a change in emotion. "It's better for you to leave."

"And your rationale?" Souji questioned Hijikata-san with a shaky voice. "What's the reason for sending me back to Edo? Now is the time we need all the men we can get. Wouldn't it be a great loss if I leave?"

"Unlike peasants, like me and Kondou-san, you are the firstborn son of a samurai family." Hijikata-san explained his reasoning. "You have the rights to become a government official and with your sword skills, any dojo would issue a certificate. You're still young. There are too many ways you can make a living."

Souji didn't accept Hijikata-san's reasoning and instead became more defensive. "What does being the firstborn son have to do with anything? My brother-in-law inherits the family! Speaking of being the firstborn son and being someone that excels in swordsmanship, isn't Shinpachi-san the same?!" Souji pointed out while raising his voice in angry desperation. "Why are you telling me alone to return to Edo?"

"Lately—" Hijikata-san began.

"Shut up! You have no idea what you're talking about." I cut in while glaring at Hijikata-san.

I believed Hijikata-san was going to go too far with his next statement and cause Souji to snap. Hijikata-san didn't know how to handle Souji well at all. Souji's psyche was fragile concerning things like this and it required extra care and effort to speak to Souji about this subject matter.

"Shizuka, be quiet. Keep out of this." Hijikata-san snapped before returning his focus to Souji. "Lately Serizawa-san's influence is making you go on about how you want to cut down people. You're still a kid. He's making you lose sight of yourself."

At that moment, what I feared happened and Souji snapped. He grit his teeth and flared his nostrils before turning around retort, "Hijikata-san, you just think I'm in the way because I stick by Kondou-san, don't you?!" Souji's voice was sarcastic but his voice remained shaky, so shaky that it was like he was going to cry.

"If that's what you'd like to think, then go ahead." Hijikata-san said as he shrugged off Souji's accusation coolly, aggravating the situation even more.

"Toshi, why did you suddenly bring this up?" Otou-san asked uncomfortably.

"We're in Kyoto to defend the peace. But he wants to kill. That's all he thinks about. We can't let someone like that stay here!" Hijikata-san explained as Souji's glare intensified tenfold.

Otou-san closed his eyes before reopening them with a decision clear in mind. "Souji—"

"No! There's no way I'm going back!" Souji yelled back with sorrow. "I'm going to stay here and help you, Kondou-san!" He slammed the door open and took off running into the night.

"Souji!" Otou-san called after him.

That Hijikata-san! I stood up and yelled back at Hijikata-san, "You think of Souji as your otouto-san, but you don't know how to properly deal with him!"

"And you think you know any better?!" Hijikata-san retorted sternly. "You spoil him too much and just let him behave however he wants! He needs to have more control and structure in his life."

I ignored Hijikata-san's answer. I didn't have time to argue with Hijikata-san right now, but I wasn't going to let this matter drop. "I'm going after him!" I said before I ran after Souji.

"Wait! Shizu-chan!" I heard Otou-san call after me.

How did such a good day end like this?

* * *

[1] Kanzashi (簪) are hair ornaments used in traditional Japanese hairstyles. Some models may have been modified for self-defense.

[2] With hana kanzashi, the long fluttering flower is characteristic of maiko. These are created from squares of silk by a technique known as tsumami (pinching). Each square is folded multiple times with the aid of tweezers and cut into a single petal. Flowers are made from these folded fabric petals and may contain anywhere from five petals to 75 or more, depending on the particular flower made. A 'hana kanzashi' is a cluster of these flowers, and may or may not include bira-bira and/or long streamers of tsumami petals, fashioned to look like hanging wisteria petals.

[3] The taste of mizuna has been described as a "piquant, mild peppery flavor...slightly spicy, but less so than arugula." It is also used in stir-fries, soups, and nabemono (Japanese hot pots).


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

"I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self-respect. And it's these things I'd believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn't all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything." ― F. Scott Fitzgerald

Why did Souji have to run so fast and why did my legs have to be so short? As soon as I exited the main hall that everyone was dining in, Souji was already out of sight. Deciding to forgo grabbing my naginata, seeing that I would have to run to my room to get it first, which would give Souji time to run even further, I left the estate unarmed. If I ran into trouble while unarmed, then it would be unfortunate. However, I doubted that I would run into trouble in Mibu village. There would be little chance Souji would run out of Mibu village and into the heart of the city if he wanted to be alone. Now the main problem was, how would I catch up to Souji if he was no longer in sight?

Like most people when emotionally hurt, Souji would probably have run to a place that could offer comfort. One place would be where Otou-san was, but Otou-san was with Hijikata-san. Hijikata-san was the cause of this whole mess and Souji definitely wouldn't want to be anywhere near Hijikata-san right now. Souji also had not been socializing much with the people of Kyoto, except to play with the kids. There was no one he could run to outside of our Shieikan group, so he must have been somewhere he could be alone. The bridge! Souji must be at the bridge we stopped at on the way home. Few people would be within the radius of the bridge during this time and the bridge was where I told him I could never hate him. He may have associated my words with the location where they were spoken. I made a U-turn and sprinted for the bridge. After about five minutes of running, the bridge came into view and Souji with it. Souji was leaning forward against the rail on his elbows near the center of the bridge as he stared aimlessly at the river below.

"Souji!" I called out to him as I ran to where he was standing.

"Shizuka?" he questioned in disbelief. He didn't expect me to find him so quickly.

When I reached where he was standing, he narrowed his eyes at the vacant spot where my weapon usually sat before grabbing my right upper arm.

"Why did you leave headquarters unarmed?! You know how dangerous it is in Kyoto, especially at night!" he scolded me harshly. His hand on my right arm trembled slightly as he yelled at me.

"Because it would have taken more time if I went to go get it first!" I yelled back before finishing quietly, "I didn't want to leave you alone while you were suffering any longer than I had to."

His irritated expression was replaced by one of dismay at my words and he dropped his face on to my left shoulder as his hand released my arm. I wrapped my left arm around his shoulder and gently stroked the back of his head in an effort to calm him down.

"If you got hurt while looking for me…" he sorrowfully mumbled into my shoulder.

"I won't." I assured him softly, "I'm not helpless, even when I'm weaponless."

"I don't want to go back to Edo." he said without raising his head. It hurt to listen to the melancholy in his voice. "I want to stay here and help Kondou-san."

"I won't let anyone send you back." I soothed him as I brushed his hair, "I promise you'll be able to stay here and help Otou-san. I promise."

We stood, locked in the same embrace, for several more minutes before Souji was able to raise his head again. While he did look better than he did a couple minutes back, he was still feeling raw. It would be best for him if we stayed out a bit longer

"You know, Hijikata-san didn't tell you to go back to Edo because he thinks you're in the way." I gently explained while looking Souji in the eye. "He thinks of you as his innocent otouto-san. He doesn't want to see you kill people."

Souji looked away from me when I mentioned Hijikata-san. He still didn't want to talk about Hijikata-san.

"And Otou-san also thinks of you in the same way." I continued after I gently turned his face with my hands so that he was looking at me again. I wanted to make sure he understood both Hijikata-san and Otou-san's reactions, along with the other guys. I didn't want a rift to form between them. "The other guys are also worried about you and the amount you have been saying 'kill'. This is just how they show their concern."

"I never needed their concern!" Souji raised his voice. "I was never innocent to begin with…"

"But they don't know that. This is why they're all so worried about you right now."

He sighed before he looked at me again. Both of his hands moved to my hips as he looked me in the eye. "But Shizuka wasn't worried about the same thing. Shizuka was worried about me being alone instead."

"I knew from the very beginning that you weren't innocent. You had lost your innocence at a young age. I remember the days when you first arrived at Shieikan…" I said before I leaned my head against his chest. "… The number of times you were beaten by the students... There were even days where the beatings had gotten so bad that you had nothing in your stomach because you had thrown up all the food. People don't go through what you've gone through without developing some scars. The whole time they were beating you, you have wanted to kill them, to watch them suffer, right? The urge to kill is nothing new to you."

"Yet you remained at my side the whole time… You hate violence, killing, death… You knew about my feelings the entire time, but you stayed with me." He mumbled quietly as his hold on me tightened.

"It's true that I hate those things, but that doesn't mean I hate you." I said as I stepped back so I could make eye contact with him. "When you care for someone, you don't love only one part of that person. You love that person as a whole, along with all his faults."

Souji's face became engulfed with an unreadable expression as I continued speaking. As he looked into my eye, it felt like he could see into my soul, it felt like he was searching for something.

"I was more worried about you being alone because I know it brings back those memories you would rather forget. You remember the time when your parents died. You remember the time when your sister left you at Shieikan. The feeling of being suffocated by loneliness, the feeling of being unwanted and unneeded is the most painful feeling in the world, isn't it? I won't let you suffer alone. I'll always be here to chase away the bad memories for you."

As soon as I finished speaking, Souji's face came down on mine, his lips capturing mine in a deep kiss as he pulled me closer.

What? I had expected something along the lines of a hug, not…not this. I didn't understand where the kiss came from. I thought there were hints before these type of things? Well, maybe there were and I just missed them. This kiss wasn't like all the quick little pecks he had started giving me throughout the day or like that kiss from months ago when he caught me sneaking out. While I was as dense as Kyoko-chan said I was about romance, I did have enough experience from my past life to identify the nature of this kiss. It wasn't a kiss from someone that someone that had a simple crush. It wasn't a kiss from someone who felt simple attraction. This kiss very clearly held strong feelings. I froze when I realized the context of the kiss.

Souji was never someone who was able to develop a crush on someone. He had been burned so many times by his past relationships that he always barricaded himself off from others with jokes and humor. He was not like other people who could so freely bare themselves to others. But when he found someone that he could trust wholeheartedly, he gave his all. This kiss was not one of a simple crush, but one of true, heartfelt emotion. Souji was not someone who easily revealed his true feelings. He must have held on to his feelings for a while now before he acted on them. What was I supposed to do?

I knew the love one gave and received from friends and families, but what was it like to be in love? I had never fallen in love before despite having been in relationships with other men in my past life. I knew for some time that the love I had for Souji was different from the other love I held for the people in my makeshift family, but I didn't know what made it so different. Was it because I had never trusted someone in the way I had trusted Souji? Was it because we were so close? I didn't know. But what I did know was that Souji was special to me. I would do anything just to see him happy. I would do anything to protect him. Would these things be what people did when they were in love? I didn't know.

Souji began to pull away from the kiss when I did not respond. I didn't know how I was supposed to react. But if I had just let Souji pull away now without responding to the kiss in any way, he would regret the kiss. While I did not know what I felt towards him, I didn't want him to feel rejected. He had already been hurt by so many others in the past. I didn't want to become one of those people that hurt him, so I made my choice.

While it was stupid, foolish, and irresponsible to do when I did not understand my own feelings toward him, I cupped Souji's face before it got too far and brought his lips back towards mine. The result was instant. He wrapped his arms around me and pressed my body flat against his as the kiss became more heated. When he finally pulled away for air, he pressed his forehead against mine instead of moving away.

"Shizuka…" he murmured before he moved in for another kiss. It was gentle, warm, loving, and impossibly to reject. Before I knew it, I was lost in the kiss as I eagerly kissed him back without reserve.

He smiled gently down at me as he stroked the side of my face with his thumb.

"Let's go back now, okay?" I said while gently nudging him towards the compound.

"Okay."

Who knew where my choice to kiss him back would lead us? All I did know was that I cared for Souji too much to reject him. On our way back to headquarters, we ran into Otou-san and Ibuki-kun who were both out looking for the both of us.

* * *

"So, how was yesterday?" Kyoko-chan asked me excitedly as she bounced up and down in her seat. I had left the compound this afternoon with Sano-san and Shinpachi-san under the pretext that I needed to do some grocery shopping. I quickly ditched both the men at a busy intersection and left to find Kyoko-chan.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Seriously?! You can't possibly be that dense!"

"I'm not. I'm just getting revenge on you for ditching me and Souji yesterday." I taunted gleefully. I was happy she did ditch me, but I wasn't too happy on how she ditched me. She could have just told me the truth.

"You—" she said as she whacked me on the shoulder playfully. "I knew something good happened! I see your new kanzashi. I'll find out what happened myself!"

"Well, back to a more serious matter." I said to steer us back on track. "It's time for phase two."

"Oh! Time for the character assassination[1] phase?"

"Yes." I said while bobbing my head up and down. "And if everything goes well today, I'll tell you about what happened last night."

"Last night?" she asked while looking at me suggestively. "Now I really am curious."

After a couple of hours of work and rumor spreading with Kyoko-chan, both of us relaxed on a bench to snack on some dango.

"If we give it a few weeks, then Serizawa's reputation should start decaying." Kyoko-chan said before swallowing her food. "Meanwhile, you can start bringing the money you've earned to Hijikata. The sooner Serizawa is rendered useless, the easier it'll be to remove him in the future."

"Okay, I can deliver the first set of 50 ryō to Hijikata-san to—"

"HAH! THERE YOU ARE!" A loud screech interrupted me. Both Kyoko-chan and I looked toward the direction of the yell and was greeted by a furious Hijikata-san stomping towards us. His face was red with anger and it almost looked like there was steam coming out his ears.

As soon as Hijikata-san reached where I was sitting, he smashed his fist on the top of my head.

"Ouch!" I cried when the fist connected.

I dropped my stick of dango at the impact. Kyoko-chan caught my stick before it fell to the ground and ate the remaining dango with a small satisfied burp at the end.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, running off like this all the time?!" he scolded me with a nasty glare.

"Do you have to hit my head every single time?!" I scowled back.

Instead of answering me, Hijikata-san turned to Kyoko-chan. "And you! Stop encouraging her to run off all the time!"

"Me? But I'm totally innocent." Kyoko-chan said as she batted her long lashes at Hijikata-san, completely unfazed by the yelling.

Hijikata-san ignored Kyoko-chan in favor of snatching my arm. "We're going back!" he declared as he began to drag me back towards headquarters.

Kyoko-chan jumped out of her seat with a bounce and started following Hijikata-san and I back to the headquarters. At first, Hijikata-san tried to ignore our little tag along, but after a minute or so, it was clear that Hijikata-san was really starting to get annoyed.

"Would you quit following us?!" Hijikata-san snapped back at Kyoko-chan, but she was unfazed and merely grinned back at him.

"Well, if you won't let Shizuka-chan come out to play with me then wouldn't it make sense that I go play with Shizuka-chan at headquarters so you won't have to worry about ronin attacking her?" she reasoned.

"No!" Hijikata-san growled back in annoyance. "Other than Shizuka, who's the Roshigumi's physician, there are no women allowed in headquarters!"

"Then can you at least walk me back home?" Kyoko-chan pestered Hijikata-san without losing a beat. "The Roshigumi is supposed to protect those poor defenseless civilians, like me, from ronin, right?"

"Can't you walk back by yourself?" he muttered under his breath. "You've walked home by yourself before without getting into trouble. Why can't you do it again today?"

"I could, but if you walk me back home then Shizuka-chan can pick up what she left behind at my house earlier."

"Then Shizuka can pick it up tomorrow after she serves her punishment for escaping into the city without an escort!" Hijikata-san said as he shot a nasty glare in my direction, which caused me to cringe a bit. I hoped he wasn't thinking on putting me on latrine cleaning duty.

"Umm… I don't think you want to do that." Kyoko-chan said as she examined her nails.

"Why?" Hijikata-san asked as he raised his eyebrow in suspicion.

"Well…" Kyoko-chan said before she leaned in to whisper a lie into Hijikata-san's ear, "… She left her feminine hygiene items at my house and she kinda needs them…unless you want her to walk around while dripping blood from between her—"

"ALRIGHT! I GOT IT!" Hijikata-san yelled with a faint blush as he eyed both Kyoko-chan and I wearily.

"Yay! Let's go Shizuka-chan!" Kyoko-chan cried in delight before she grabbed my hands and dragged me off towards her family's bank.

"HEY! WAIT UP!" Hijikata-san roared after us as he ran to catch up.

It didn't take us too long to get to Kyoko-chan's family bank. We weren't too far from the bank in the first place and Kyoko-chan ran extremely fast while dragging me along. I lost a shoe along the way because she was dragging me so quickly, but thankful, Hijikata-san noticed and picked it up for me.

"Okay!" Kyoko-chan exclaimed once we got inside the bank. "Wait here while I go fetch her things." she said before she disappeared into the back room behind the counter. Hijikata-san took this time to smack me across my head with the shoe he picked up.

"OW!" I cried as my hands flew to cradle my head. "What was that for?!"

"You know what for." Hijikata-san scolded me. "Stop sneaking into the city by yourself. You know it's dangerous." he said before he tossed my shoe back at me. "Hurry up and put your shoe back on. It's bad to walk around outside without shoes on."

"Geez, it's not like I decided to walk around while missing a shoe." I muttered under my breath as I put my missing shoe back on.

"Sorry for the long wait!" Kyoko-chan exclaimed cheerfully as she reappeared from the back room.

Within her hands was something wrapped in a piece of cloth. When she placed the wrapped up objects on the counter, the cloth fell open to reveal the 50 ryō I was planning to present to Hijikata-san today.

"Money?" Hijikata-san asked in confusion and disbelief. "I thought you said they were feminine hygiene items."

"I lied." Kyoko-chan said with a sly smile. "Well here you go, fifty ryō for the Roshigumi to use."

"You're giving us money?" Hijikata-san asked with suspicion.

"Of course I'm not!" Kyoko-chan snorted. "It's not my money."

"Then what's that and where did it come from?"

"From Shizuka-chan~" she sang.

"Wait… What?! I don't understand. Where did she get the money?" Hijikata-san asked before turning to me for an answer.

"Well, I am a physician with proper surgical tools now." I pointed out as I rubbed the spot Hijikata-san whacked me. "I wasn't exactly sneaking out alone to fool around. I bet you regret hitting me now."

"So you were sneaking out to earn money? Why didn't you tell me?" Hijikata-san asked as he looked at me in a new light. "I would have let you go."

"You would have let me go with an escort." I corrected him. "Remember rule number three: Do not raise money without authorization? I'm not officially a part of the Roshigumi so that rule doesn't really apply to me, but if someone that is an official member of the Roshigumi came with me then he would be an accomplice. He would be breaking the rules and be forced to commit seppuku."

"I could have asked Kondou-san to give the men authorization." Hijikata-san said. "I am the Vice Captain, so I have special privileges with the Captain Commander. Besides, he is your otou-san. If you asked then he wouldn't deny you."

"I have another reason for not telling you or anyone else, which brings me to ask you not to tell anyone what I'm doing yet." I asked Hijikata-san very seriously. "I can tell you everything later, but for now, the reasons why I'm doing this is on a need-to-know basis."

Hijikata-san stared at me quietly as he examined me before he narrowed his eyes dangerously at me. "This is about Serizawa-san, isn't it? You have something planned for him and you're keeping everything a secret in case you get caught by Serizawa so no one else will get in trouble." he said as he put everything together rather quickly.

"Well, it's time to go back." I said as I ignored what Hijikata-san said and turned to leave. "I need to go apologize to Sano-san and Shinpachi-san for ditching them earlier. See you later, Kyoko-chan."

"Let's go eat some more dango later!" she called back with a happy wave.

* * *

Where was Souji? It was time to eat dinner. I haven't seen him since I got back to headquarters with Hijikata-san. Souji usually went out of his way to find me every time I returned to headquarters after spending time with Kyoko-chan. So where was he today? I had already finished cooking dinner and I hadn't even seen him once.

"Heisuke, any luck finding him?" I asked as Heisuke, Sano-san, and Saito-san came around the corner.

"No… Where could he be?" Heisuke said before he spotted Ibuki-kun returning with a jar of saké. "I'll go ask Rynosuke!" he yelled back towards me as he ran to go meet Ibuki-kun.

Sano-san and Saito-san both exchanged looks before following after Heisuke. I tagged along behind the two men.

"Ryunosuke! Have you seen Souji?" Heisuke asked worriedly as he stopped in front of Ibuki-kun.

"Huh?" came Ibuki-kun's useless response. "It's almost mealtime, so I went to his room to get him, but I can't find him anywhere!" Heisuke explained to Ibuki-kun.

"Supposedly he was seen walking out with Tonouchi." Saito-san spoke up.

Tonouchi? But why would Souji go out with Tonouchi when he wasn't even familiar with him? Something was wrong.

"Tonouchi?" asked Ibuki-kun. His expression… he knew something we didn't.

"You know the guy?" Sano-san pressured as he caught on to the same hint I saw.

"Uh, no…" Ibuki-kun stopped speaking for a moment, "Actually… I heard Tonouchi mention something about removing Kondou-san…"

I narrowed my eyes at that statement. Remove Otou-san? Not in this life.

This was serious. All the guys nodded at each other before Sano-san requested that I go gather the Big Three together in a room. As soon as I got those three people and an extra Gen-san together to explained the situation, Saito-san entered with Ibuki-kun in tow.

"So why did Souji and that Tonouchi guy go out together?" Hijikata-san questioned Ibuki-kun.

"Well, I don't know either…" Ibuki-kun started as he tightened his fists and shifted his gaze to the floor.

"Does anyone else know of this?" asked Otou-san.

"Serizawa-san and Niimi-san were the only other people there." Ibuki-kun answered.

"Damn it!" Hijikata-san yelled angrily, "Don't tell me Serizawa-san put something crazy into Souji's head!" He got to his feet to leave the room, only to be stopped by Saito-san's question.

"Commander, where are you going?"

"I'm going looking for Souji. If he heard about all that, then who knows what he'll do?"

"Let's split up and search for him." suggested Sannan-san.

As everyone in the room prepared to stand up and go search for Souji, Heisuke's worried cry penetrated the walls of the room.

"Souji!"

"Pipe down." came Souji's voice, "I told you I'm not hurt anywhere."

Hurt? What did he mean by hurt? I quickly sprang to my feet and ran to where Souji's voice was coming from. Everyone else in the room quickly followed behind. Souji was sitting on the porch taking off his shoes.

I rushed to his side. His front side was completely drenched in blood. What did he do?

"Are you hurt?" I asked before quickly scanning him for injuries.

The blood on him was from a spurt. I only realized this after inspecting him. It was impossible for any of it to have come from him. If he was covered in this much blood that did not belong to him, then the only logical assumption is that he had just killed someone. He returned alone, despite leaving with Tonouchi and when the known facts were put together, it became obvious that the person that Souji killed was Tonouchi. But if Souji did kill Tonouchi, who was a member of the Roshigumi, then that meant that Souji had broken the Code of Conduct. The punishment for the breach would be seppuku.

I reached for his hand and held on tightly. How did it come to this? No, I wasn't going to let Souji commit seppuku if it came down to it.

"No, I'm not hurt." he assured me gently before glancing behind to Hijikata-san and Saito-san and switching tones. "Huh? Hijikata-san and Hajime-kun?" Souji said before turning a bit more to face the men behind him, revealing his blood drenched state. "What's up? Why are you in such a panic?" he asked while sounding mildly satisfied.

At the sight of the blood that covered Souji's front, everyone's, minus Saito-san's, eyes widened in shock.

"Souji, whose blood is that...?" Hijikata-san asked while gnashing his teeth. Rage was boiling behind those purple eyes.

"I'll explain everything inside." Souji said, brushing off Hijikata-san's anger, as he stood up. His hand fell away from mine at the movement. "Could you let me rest a bit? I'm tired after just killing someone."

Souji walked past everyone and made his way inside. No one moved for what seemed like hours until Saito-san headed towards the room Souji entered. Everyone slowly followed Saito-san's example and started to go back inside to gather in the hall.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Hijikata-san continued to rage. "Do you have any idea what you've done?! By killing Tonouchi, another member of the Roshigumi, you've breached the regulations! You'll be forced to commit seppuku[2] for this!"

"I didn't do anything wrong." Souji spoke, acting completely unworried about the serious situation. "Tonouchi was planning on killing Kondou-san. Killing the commander would be breaching of the first code: deviating from the bushidō[3]. I was only carrying out the regulations."

That was a weak reason. The proper course of action would have been to report Tonouchi and he knew it. Sure, that would have probably still ended with Tonouchi's death, but it was still the proper route to take. Souji's reason was weak, but it was enough to worm out of seppuku.

"Where did you get this information?!" Hijikata-san fumed, despite already knowing the answer.

"Serizawa-san can be surprisingly nice." Souji's said, causing Hijikata-san to become even more enraged. Hijikata-san and Otou-san quickly stormed off Serizawa's room to demand some answers. The conversation was over.

"Well, I guess I can go take some rest now. The blood is sticky. I need to get my clothing washed tomorrow." Souji said lightheartedly as he left the hall.

Now that everyone was leaving the hall, the rage started to settle in. Serizawa, that brilliant asshole of magnificent proportions. How DARE he use Souji like this? The Code of Conduct that was put into place was created by Hijikata-san to restrain Serizawa, but Serizawa used Souji to break the regulations and made the rules backfire on Hijikata-san. That bastard also used Souji to kill off Tonouchi, who happened to be a growing potential threat. While killing off Tonouchi may have been the right move, it did not change the fact that he used Souji to do his dirty work. Serizawa's plan was brilliant when it came to manipulating people to get what he wanted. He also didn't actually break any of the rules and got Souji to do everything for him. I would see him burn in hell for exploiting Souji's weakness for his own gain.

Deciding to follow Hijikata-san's and Otou-san's example, I left the hall to confront Serizawa. He wasn't going to get away with this. Hijikata-san was already in the midst of a heated argument with Serizawa by the time I arrived outside the room.

"What?! You just had him kill one of our own!" I heard Hijikata-san yell from outside. I paused to listen in. "It's only natural for me to be pissed!"

"Tonouchi was a man of two faces. He would have bitten our hands if we let the cur live." Serizawa retorted calmly.

"And you can prove that?"

"You sound rather worked up. It's hard to believe that this is coming from the same man who made the strict codes, that whoever breaks the Rules of Conduct must commit sepukku."

There was a moment of silence as I heard a cup being placed down.

"Well, don't just stand there. Come sit." I heard Serizawa say before I saw Otou-san's and Hijikata-san's silhouettes move to sit down through the shoji screens. Serizawa resumed speaking when the two were seated.

"Listen, seppuku requires an attendant. The Roshigumi's soldiers must be able to behead their companions without a moment's pause once they receive the order. Why are you making such a fuss when that Okita brat merely purged us of a soldier that was unwilling to follow the way of the warrior? You are both soft. You do not truly want to be well-known. Okita is not the one who should return to Edo. Aren't you two the ones who should go back?"

A sound of irritated defeat was heard as Hijikata-san's shadow bowed its head in loss at Serizawa's words.

"I will admit that we may have lacked in our resolve." I heard Otou-san speak up. "But Souji…! Souji is not just my student! You can call me soft if you like, but I did not want him to soil his name by killing a comrade! That's how I truly feel."

"Hmph!" Serizawa said after Otou-san too bowed his head in defeat. After a moment of silence, Serizawa called towards the open door. "So is it your turn to try to tear into me now?"

So he knew I was there the whole time. I stepped forward in to the light of the room. My anger didn't dwindle while Serizawa was speaking, unlike the two men before that now held defeated expressions.

"So are you here to confront me too about ruining that Okita brat's innocence?" he asked with a slight smirk before he picked up his cup and took another sip of saké.

"You can't destroy what wasn't there in the first place." I stated with blunt iciness.

"Oh?" he said with some amusement as he paused drinking saké for a moment. "So you aren't here because you're upset I had him kill someone."

"Please, who do you take me for? I already knew that if the members of the Roshigumi were going to act as warriors under the Shogunate then they would have to kill eventually." I already knew what to expect. I had formed my own resolve ages ago.

"Heh! If you know that already, then what are you here for?"

"I'll admit that you did the right thing to have Tonouchi killed off, but you used the wrong person to do your dirty work. How dare you exploit Souji like this! I will see you burn in hell." I snarled darkly.

"Hahaha! You? You think you can kill me?" he laughed as if my words were a silly joke.

My original plan was only to remove Serizawa from power. I may have entertained the fantasy of killing Serizawa off in the beginning, but decided that I didn't need to. But now things have changed. He had the gall to use Souji for his own gain. He almost destroyed my relationship with Souji a few nights before. I would see to it that the Lord of Aizu call for Serizawa's disposal by death.

"Kill you?" I asked condescendingly. "No, I won't be the one to kill you. But I will be the tightening of the noose around your throat as you stare death in the face. As you hang there fighting for breath, you will use your last breath to curse my name."

I am the banisher, the ill will that snuffs the final candle.

* * *

[1] Character assassination is a deliberate and sustained process that aims to destroy the credibility and reputation of a person, institution, social group, or nation. Agents of character assassinations employ a mix of open and covert methods to achieve their goals, such as raising false accusations, planting and fostering rumors, and manipulating information. Character assassination is an attempt to tarnish a person's reputation. It may involve exaggeration, misleading half-truths, or manipulation of facts to present an untrue picture of the targeted person. It is a form of defamation and can be a form of ad hominem argument. For living individuals targeted by character assassination attempts, this may result in being rejected by their community, family, or members of their living or work environment. Such acts are often difficult to reverse or rectify, and the process is likened to a literal assassination of a human life. The damage sustained can last a lifetime or, for historical figures, for many centuries after their death.

[2] Seppuku (切腹, "stomach-cutting", or "abdomen-cutting") is a form of Japanese ritual suicide by disembowelment. Seppuku was originally reserved only for samurai. Part of the samurai bushidō honor code, seppuku was used either voluntarily by samurai to die with honor rather than fall into the hands of their enemies (and likely suffer torture) or as a form of capital punishment for samurai who had committed serious offenses, or performed because they had brought shame to themselves. The ceremonial disembowelment, which is usually part of a more elaborate ritual and performed in front of spectators, consists of plunging a short blade, traditionally a tantō, into the abdomen and drawing the blade from left to right, slicing open the abdomen.

[3] Bushidō literally means "the way of the warrior". It is a Japanese word for the way of the samurai life, loosely analogous to the concept of chivalry.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

"Apart from the economic value, money does have high moral value." ― Amit Kalantri

"As I said, the master is currently away." the bank teller cried in desperation as he tried to get Serizawa to leave, but to no avail.

Unwilling to take no for an answer, Serizawa kicked the poor man to the ground. "Insolent whelp!" Serizawa yelled before giving the man one more kick for good measure. "We are devoted warriors who have traveled all the way from the east to fight for national loyalism!"

Otou-san, Hijikata-san, and almost everyone else that came along to Osaka, watched in horror and disgust from outside the building as Serizawa continued to kick the man lying on the floor. A few days after the incident that resulted in Tonouchi's death, Otou-san, Hijikata-san, Souji, Shinpachi-san, Ibuki-kun, me, Serizawa, and Niimi left for Osaka to borrow money for the Roshigumi, seeing that the Roshigumi did not receive enough money from the Aizu Domain to function to its full potential. However, borrowing money for Serizawa held a completely different meaning for him than the rest of us. Serizawa "borrowing" money was more like "kicking the shit out of people" so that they gave their money to him. His actions were vile and cruel, but I said and did nothing. As terrible it was for the poor man on the floor to be beaten, I needed everyone to see the methods that Serizawa would use to make money. This way, when it came time to compare the way I brought in income to the way Serizawa did, everyone would chose my method of doing things. This way the Roshigumi would not have to rely on Serizawa and therefore would make it easier to dispose of him. Plus, Serizawa's own vile acts would harm the Aizu's Domain good name thereby forcing the Lord of Aizu to order for disposal in order to save face. Serizawa's own behavior really made my character assassination plan easier to carry out. I had no qualms with him tightening his own noose.

"I am most sorry!" came a fearful apologetic voice from the back as another man, the master of the bank, came to the front. "I beg of you! Please accept this and pardon his insolence!" cried the master of the bank as he got on his hands and knees to bow to Serizawa, and Niimi by default seeing that Niimi was standing right next to Serizawa. The bank master placed two koban, the equivalence of 50 ryō, on the floor in front of Serizawa.

"Hmph!" Niimi snorted as the master of the bank bowed his head. "What's this? You were here after all."

Niimi bent down and collected the money for Serizawa and both men turned to leave the bank. Hijikata-san let his displeasure at Serizawa's action be known as soon as Serizawa exited the building.

"Serizawa-san, what were you thinking?!" Hijikata-san yelled. His form was taut as his hands curled up into shaking fists that hung almost helplessly at his side.

"We came to Osaka to borrow money to fund the Roshigumi!" Otou-san added sternly. It was rare to see such open displeasure on Otou-san's face. "But you… Doesn't this make us no better than the rogue samurai who forcibly borrow money?"

Serizawa smirked at the accusations, unbothered by both Hijikata-san and Otou-san's disapproval.

"In this day and age, those who save easy money clearly made a profit by doing business with foreigners. I would think that punishing such vile merchants is part of our duty as nationalist." Serizawa justified his actions.

"You're using fuzzy logic!" Hijikata-san yelled back with a scowl.

"More like the fallacy of defective induction." I mumbled under my breath. "Faulty generalization without consideration of all the variables…"

Serizawa narrowed his eyes at me before he bent down and picked up a small rock. He straightened up again and flicked the rock at my face. Souji's eyes widened slightly before he quickly pulled me behind him, causing the rock to miss.

"You always have to have the last word, don't you?" Souji asked me with an exasperated half smile. I returned his smile with an apologetic look. I should have thought things through first before I opened my mouth. I didn't need to pull Souji into my little fight with Serizawa.

"Be quiet woman, your superiors are speaking." Serizawa warned with an annoyed expression as he returned to face Hijikata-san and Otou-san, whom both had moved to protectively block me from Serizawa's sight.

"Then do you know of another way to procure funding for the Roshigumi?" Niimi continued the conversation egotistically without missing a beat.

Hijikata-san shot a confident glance at me through the corner of his eye before smirking at Serizawa and Niimi.

"We have a much better method for procuring funds. In fact, we can gain funding much faster than you can, Serizawa." Hijikata-san said proudly. "We don't need you."

At Hijikata-san's claim, all the guys stared at him with a stunned expression. What was this method? Why weren't they told?

"Really, Toshi?" Otou-san asked, awed by Hijikata-san's claim and was even more excited at the aspect of not having to sink down to Serizawa's level to collect income.

"Oh, really now?" Serizawa snorted in unbelief. "Why don't you go ahead and enlighten us." It was clear that Serizawa didn't believe a word that Hijikata-san said.

Hijikata-san's smirk grew in size as he reached into his sleeve and pulled out the money that Kyoko-chan and I presented to him a few days back. Most of the men reacted comically, especially Shinpachi-san, at the large amount of money hidden away in Hijikata-san's sleeve. Their eyes popped out of their skulls while their jaws dropped to the floor.

"Oh?" Serizawa raised his eyebrow. "I never thought that you would break the Code of Conduct that you helped write yourself. What was it? Rule number three: Do not raise money without authorization." He laughed crudely. "I don't recall giving you permission to raise funds and by the look on Kondou-san's face, he didn't either. Are you that desperate to outdo me that you'd even risk seppuku?"

"Toshi!" Otou-san exclaimed worriedly. Otou-san would risk anything to protect his best friend.

"Heh! That rule only applies to the MEN that are officially a part of the Roshigumi." Hijikata-san said victoriously. "These funds came from the woman you just threw that rock at."

Everyone then turned to stare at me with a stunned expression. A woman earn all that money? It was a preposterous thought.

"Oh? So the pretty little thing was the one that earned all that money?" Serizawa asked with amusement. "What did you have to do? Whore yourself out to a stranger every night?" It was clear that he still didn't take me very seriously.

The other men became furious at Serizawa's insinuation, Souji especially. Souji quickly reached for his sword and would have probably drawn it to attack Serizawa if I didn't step in.

"Souji." I said firmly as I stepped out from behind him and placed my hand on his sword's hilt to prevent him from drawing his blade. "Leave this to me. Let me handle this."

Souji stepped back hesitantly as he kept his hand on his sword's handle.

Everyone turned to stare at me. Just how did I earn all that money in Hijikata-san's hand?

"For a man with such a worldly knowledge, you can be quite stupid." I stated bluntly "Do not generalize all women's abilities to earn money based on the few you visit. I told you when we first met, I am a surgeon. My particular skill set can bring in more money in a single day than you can beat out of people in days. You've already played your role in getting the Aizu Domain to sponsor the Roshigumi. You're no longer needed."

"What did you say?!" Serizawa spat down at me in rage at my insult. "No longer needed? You think that I can be replaced?! You need to have your head checked!"

For the first time, Serizawa wasn't looking at me like just some useless tag along but a legitimate threat. He wasn't taking me seriously before, but now I was dangerous to him. He knew that if I could outcompete him then his position would be in jeopardy and he would lose the power he held over everyone. Serizawa stepped towards me threateningly with a glare, but he was suddenly blocked from view when Otou-san came between us.

"Mah, mah, let's all calm down. Shizu-chan can procure funding for the Roshigumi so Serizawa-san doesn't have to work so hard." Otou-san said as he tried to keep the peace and me safely away from Serizawa.

"Tsk!" Serizawa said as he let everything drop before he turned and angrily stalked away from the group. "Niimi let's go! They can do what they wish! Dog, you're coming to pour my saké!" he yelled. Ibuki-kun quickly scrambled after Serizawa. Before Serizawa completely vanished from sight, he stopped and turned to me. "You'll need to do much better than this. My ability to raise money isn't my only skill." Serizawa quickly vanished after he said his piece.

"So this is what you've been doing when you've were sneaking out into the city." Otou-san finally said with a small rueful smile after a moment of silence. "You never did act like a child in the past and now when you're at marriageable age, you spend all your time helping the Roshigumi instead of spending your time on what a normal young woman your age would be doing."

"There's no need for you to look so sad. You didn't force me into anything. Everything I choose to do was my choice and mine alone." I gently explained to Otou-san as I beamed up at him. However, his expression did not change. He was believed that he had somehow wronged me.

"I'll be leaving most of the matters of money to you then." Otou-san said with a small depressed sigh, yielding to the need for funding over his personal desires.

"Leave procuring the funds to me. We don't need Serizawa and his methods." I firmly said to Otou-san, causing him to smile a bit.

"My little Shizu-chan, always so reliable." Otou-san said fondly as he pat my head.

"You know," I said cheerfully to switch gears, "we can spend the rest of the day off. I have more money hidden away and we have no real need to work for weeks."

"Really? How much money is there?" Shinpachi-san asked as he finally pulled his jaw off the ground.

I grinned as I began to count off using my fingers. "Well, Hijikata-san has 50 ryō with him right now, there's another 110 ryō as investments in Kyoto's markets, an extra 80 ryō in a bank for emergency money, and 90 ryō as investments in Osaka's markets."

"Wait, what?!" Hijikata-san exclaimed as he held up the 50 ryō I gave to him the other day. "I thought you gave me all you had!"

"I gave you some of what I had. I didn't say that I gave you everything."

Hijikata-san let out a tired sigh before he placed his hand fondly on my head with a smile. Shinpachi-san, on the other hand, lost his jaw to the ground again.

"Shit! That's a lot of money!" Shinpachi-san finally exclaimed in awe as he lifted his hand to do a quick tally. "Let's see, that's 200…250…no, that's 330 ryō! And to think, 200 ryō is out in the markets as investments. I didn't know that you knew how to navigate the economy."

"Hehehe!" I giggled mirthfully before I bluntly said, "I don't."

"WHAT?! Oh gods, we're gonna be broke in a week!" Shinpachi-san cried in panic as he pulled on his hair.

"She has a friend doing the investments for her." Hijikata-san clarified with a small cough to stop Shinpachi-san from pulling out all his hair.

"Kyoko-chan, right?" Souji asked.

I nodded cheerfully.

* * *

"Hijikata-san's taking forever." Shinpachi-san complained from his seated position, breaking the tense silence of the room.

The sun was setting and our day in Osaka had come to an end. Everyone sat inside a waiting room waiting for the ship that was going to take the group back to Kyoto. It had already been two hours and the ship was still not ready. Hijikata-san had left some time back to check to see what had happened to the ship and had not returned yet. Serizawa and Niimi sat near the opposite wall of the room and drank saké while waiting for the ship.

"This place is filled with nasty vibes." Souji suddenly said from across where Shinpachi-san was sitting before standing up. "I think I'm going to go take a walk around the area. Shizuka, come with me."

He grabbed my hand and led me outside to go with him on his walk.

"Eh? I'm coming too?" I asked as I was taken outside.

"I'm not leaving you in the same room as Serizawa." he said with an irritated look. "Besides it's been a few days since we've been alone together."

True. In fact, we hadn't really spent much time together in privacy ever since Souji had killed Tonouchi several nights before. Things were tense between him, Otou-san, and Hijikata-san so he really hadn't been too much in the mood to do anything else but sulk. He led me to another empty bridge before we stopped and tugged on my hand with just enough force for me to lose my balance. I fell against his chest as his arms enveloped me and when he moved his face closer to mine, and at that moment, I thought it would be the perfect time to ask him a question. It had been some time since we really had time to speak to each other in privacy. Something had been bothering me and I wanted an answer.

"Have you spoken to Hijikata-san since the night of Tonouchi's death?" I asked.

For some reason, Souji looked really put off when I asked my question. The disappointment on his face was that of a kid's expression when he had been denied something, which I thought was strange. I didn't deny him anything. He let go of me and went to lean on the railing of the bridge to sulk.

"Why did you have to bring up Hijikata-san now?" he scowled at his refection in the water below.

"I hadn't had the privacy to ask you until now." I explained. "So have you?"

"I don't wanna talk about this."

"So you haven't… You know Hijikata-san's only worried about you."

"I don't want his worry." Souji snorted.

I wasn't getting through to him at all. I knew he didn't like talking about Hijikata-san, but I wanted him to fix his relationship with Hijikata-san. They were like brothers. It was always hard to talk to Souji when he was frustrated, but why was he so frustrated right now? He was fine a few moments ago. Did I do something to upset him? Maybe Otou-san would have a better chance at getting through to him.

"For someone so smart, you're pretty dense, Shizuka." Souji said as I tried and failed to figure out the source of his frustration.

"Souji," another voice called from the end of the bridge. Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Otou-san approached both of us on the bridge. "Shizu-chan, can you go check on Toshi for me?"

So, Otou-san wanted to speak to Souji alone. Hopefully, Otou-san could repair his relationship with Souji and get through to him.

"Okay." I said as I left to find Hijikata-san, giving both Otou-san and Souji some privacy.

* * *

So, apparently there was a mistake that was made when arranging the ship to take us all back to Kyoto. By the time we all got back to headquarters it was nearly the Hour of the Ox[1]. As everyone dispersed and headed to their perspective rooms, a hand wrapped around my left wrist and pulled me into a dark, deserted hallway. Before I could register what was happening, I was trapped between another person and the wall. The shaft of my naginata uncomfortably dug into my back as the other person pressed his body against mine before capturing my lips in a heated kiss. I relaxed in relief and returned the kiss when one of the man's hands started rubbing up and down my side. I recognized the touch, it was Souji. He pulled away when he was satisfied with the kiss and regarded me with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. His mood was much better than it previously was earlier in the evening.

"What was that for?" I asked curiously.

"No real reason." he said as he started to shepherd me towards his room. "I just wanted to. Sleep with me in my room tonight?"

He wanted me to sleep with him in his room? Why? Was he not feeling well and wanted company? Was he feeling lonely? I reached up to place my hand on his forehead to measure his temperature. There was no fever.

"I'm feeling fine." he said with a small irritated huff. "No, I'm not feeling lonely either." he said before I could ask him my next question. He turned away, the darkness masking most of the red dusting his cheeks. "I just wanted you to stay with me tonight."

"Oh! Okay then." I consented to his request. "But could you let me put everything away first and get changed?"

I didn't want to go to sleep in my day clothes. I was pretty sure they were covered in dust from a day of traveling. Souji pouted, feeling a bit unwilling to relinquish his hold on me, but let go of me in the end.

"I'll be waiting. Don't make me wait too long." he said before heading towards his room alone.

I rushed to my room and placed my belongings back in their usual location before changing into my simple, white sleeping robe. I quickly snuck off to Souji's room afterwards. I quietly slipped in his room before shutting the door without making a sound. When I entered his room, he was just about to tie his sleepwear shut.

"That was fast." he commented.

"You did say not to make you wait too long." I pointed out before taking the tie out of his hands and tying his robe shut for him.

"So I did."

His wandering hands quickly found a perch on my hips.

"You know, you're pretty lucky." I mentioned offhandedly as I finished tying his robe shut. I eyed his, now mostly covered, chest. I had gotten a quick peak at his bare chest when the robe was open. "Lots of men never grow to become attractive after they grow out of their physically awkward stage of puberty, but you've turned out really handsome."

"So, Shizuka thinks I'm handsome?" he asked with a pleased expression. He gently steered me towards his futon before he went to put out the lantern.

"Any blind person could see that you're handsome." I said as I laid down on his futon first. In fact, I'm pretty sure a person born without eyes could tell that he was attractive.

"Is that so?" he asked wryly.

He blew out the candle in the lantern before settling into his futon with me. As he moved to get comfortable, he laid partially on top of me: his head on top of my breasts and his arms around the curves of my sides. I ran my fingers through his hair as he snuggled into my warmth.

"Shizuka's gotten really pretty in the last few years too." he commented before adding impishly, "Shizuka's breasts also grew to a nice size."

Did he just go there? At least he enjoys them, I guess?

He smirked before pushing the top of my robe slightly open with his nose and rested his head on top of my now exposed cleavage.

* * *

With my true reason now known for leaving the compound every day, Otou-san quickly gave the men permission to go escort me around when I was raising funds so that there would technically be no codes broken. At least one of the guys now always came with me when it was time for me to make my rounds.

Kyoko-chan still accompanied me every time, even with extra shadow following us around. She never minded the extra person that always came with, especially if it was Heisuke or Shinpachi-san. She liked to bully those two because they always fell for her tricks and pranks. Today was Sano-san's turn to escort me around the city.

"So, then what happened?" Kyoko-chan asked, pressuring me for the next set of events.

"After the cat escaped Souji's room, it went directly to Hijikata-san's room and ran off with one of Hijikata-san's haiku books." I said while grinning at the old memory.

"Seriously?!" Kyoko-chan gasped in pleasant surprise.

"Yeah, the rest of us couldn't believe it." Sano-san added with a chuckle. "It was like the cat was channeling part of Souji's soul."

"The cat ran off with the book and was never seen again in the dojo." I finished the story. "From then on, Hijikata-san had never allowed anyone to have any animals inside the dojo. That haiku book was never seen again. Who knows where it is now?"

All three of us broke out in to laughs. Poor Hijikata-san and his haiku books; too bad it was too much fun to steal them from him. Souji never stopped breaking in and stealing Hijikata-san's books and more than often dragged me along. It was even better when I could convince one of the other guys to join us. The extra head was always the scapegoat in these operations.

"Ane[2]!" a young boy called, interrupting our conversation.

Kohaku-kun, Kyoko-chan's six year old brother, came running to where the three of us were now standing.

"Oh, it's you." Kyoko-chan said drably as she coolly regarded her little brother.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" he scowled back before kicking his onee-san's shin.

"Ouch! You little brat!"

"Wah!" Kohaku-kun cried before he ran behind my legs. "Shizuka-nee, Ane is being mean to me!"

"Why you little—" Kyoko-chan spat before I interrupted, stopping the situation from growing too out of hand.

"Is there a reason you came out here?" I asked the young boy kindly.

"Okaa-san told me to get Ane because she needed help with some chores." he answered while still hiding behind me.

Kyoko-chan sagged at the explanation.

"Aww, I thought I was done." she whined before submitting to her fate. "Let's go, brat. Bye Shizuka-chan, Harada-san!" she waved before disappearing into the crowd with her little brother.

Sano-san placed his hand on my head after Kyoko-chan left. "I guess that means it's time for us to start heading back." he said with a friendly grin.

"Okay." I said as we started heading back to the Yagi house.

However, we never fully made it back to headquarters. On our way back, both Sano-san and I came across the back of a very dazed Ibuki-kun staring off into the distance. Sano-san pondered something for a bit before calling out to Ibuki-kun cheerfully.

"Yo! If it isn't Ryunosuke! What's up?"

At the sound of Sano-san's voice, Ibuki-kun turned around slowly with a blank look. Ibuki-kun had a magnificent, red handprint on the left side of his face.

"Ah. You were just slapped by someone." I bluntly pointed out the obvious.

Sano-san just sighed at my reaction before taking both Ibuki-kun and I to a more secluded area near the river before asking Ibuki-kun what had happened. Ibuki-kun sat down on a small bolder before he explained what had happened. It appeared that Ibuki-kun had been slapped by a maiko he was speaking to over something about "casually pleasing customers". It was no wonder he had been slapped. Maiko and geisha never did anything "casually". They spent hours in practices and lessons each day before working almost all night with their customers. It was a tough job.

"You moron!" Sano-san declared with an irritated expression before bashing Ibuki-kun on the head.

"Ouch! What was that for?!" Ibuki-kun cried as he rubbed the area that Sano-san hit. Sano-san just crossed his arms and regarded Ibuki-kun with annoyance.

"You actually said that crap to that nice little maiko? No wonder she gave you that handprint."

"Hmph!" Ibuki-kun snorted after quickly turning his head to the side.

"Unbelievable…" Sano-san said with a scowl as he pulled Ibuki-kun to his feet. "We're going."

Ibuki-kun quickly snatched the hand that Sano-san used to pull him up. "Go? Go where?"

Sano-san quickly looped his arm around Ibuki-kun's neck painfully and forced Ibuki-kun into a painful headlock before dragging him towards Shimabara in that headlock.

"You shouldn't make assumptions about someone without knowing all the facts." I said while following the pair from behind. "You're lucky that all she did was slap you. You need to go apologize to her."

"Ow, ow!" Ibuki-kun cried as he was dragged along, "Why should I?!"

"Just apologize!" Sano-san answered with a raised voice.

"Wait, wait! That hurts!"

"Come on moron!"

I just followed behind the two quietly as Sano-san dragged Ibuki-kun all the way to Shimabara in a headlock. As bad as it was for the neck to remain in that position for that long, I think that Ibuki-kun deserved that punishment.

* * *

[1] A two hour period that is roughly from 1:00 a.m. to 3:00 a.m.

[2] Used to address one's own older sister.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

"Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex." ― Hunter S. Thompson

With the speed that Sano-san pulled Ibuki-kun along in that headlock, it was no surprise we managed to reach Shimabara in a matter of minutes. But it was surprising that Ibuki-kun didn't pass out from the lack of air that resulted from the way Sano-san had been dragging him. For someone that didn't know how to fight or train regularly, Ibuki-kun had an exceptionally sturdy frame. He only got released from that painful headlock when Sano-san stopped to ask a bandana wearing man that worked in Shimabara about that maiko from earlier.

"Hey, mind if I ask you something?" Sano-san inquired as the man was passing by. "We're searching for a maiko."

The man stopped in front of our little group and scratched his head while trying to recall all the names of the maiko working in Shimabara.

"Okay. What's the girl's name?" the man questioned as he paused to answer Sano-san.

"Ryunosuke?" Sano-san said as he asked Ibuki-kun for the maiko's name.

Still feeling unwilling to answer, Ibuki-kun turned his head away and stared at the dirt road. "Like I said, I'm not apolo—Ow!"

Displeased at Ibuki-kun's rude attitude, Sano-san had cuffed Ibuki-kun on the back of his head.

"Be good and answer the question!" scolded Sano-san as Ibuki-kun held his bruised head. "What's her name?"

"Pretty sure it's Kosuzu." Ibuki-kun answered begrudgingly.

Kosuzu? Wasn't she the one that Serizawa threw that cup at back about a couple of weeks ago?

The bandana wearing man smiled brightly at the mention of the maiko and cheerfully answered while pointing to a nearby okiya[1]. "Oh, if you're looking for Kosuzu-chan…"

"Thank you very much for your help." I said while bowing politely to the man before he resumed his previous task.

"Let's go." Sano-san said to Ibuki-kun before heading towards the okiya. When Ibuki-kun failed to move, I pushed him towards the direction Sano-san was walking towards.

"Quit it!" Ibuki-kun complained at my actions. "I can walk on my own!"

"Then quit complaining and walk." I said pointedly without ceasing my pushing. He was pretty heavy, so I gave up pushing him when I managed to push him as far as the okiya's windows. He was close enough. Sano-san was already asking the maid about Kosuzu by the time I managed to get Ibuki-kun to the windows.

"She is currently in the middle of practice…" the maid answered Sano-san when he asked for Kosuzu.

"Okay. Then we'll wait here for a bit." Sano-san replied patiently. Ibuki-kun, on the other hand, became enraptured by the dance he was witnessing through the windows.

It was interesting. I didn't take Ibuki-kun for someone that appreciated dance, but I couldn't blame him for stopping to watch the dance. Kosuzu was a pretty good dancer for a maiko that had just debuted not too long ago, but I still couldn't help but feel that I was misreading the reason Ibuki-kun was staring at the dancing maiko.

"She's pretty good." I commented to Sano-san after the maid returned back inside the okiya. "I didn't think Ibuki-kun was someone who enjoyed watching dances, but he's enthralled by that dance."

Sano seemed to sigh with resignation at my comment. "I wouldn't say he's interested in the dance itself…"

"Huh? What do you mean by that?" I asked in confusion. I mean, what else could be the reason Ibuki-kun was staring at Kosuzu?

"Nevermind." Sano-san said with a small smile while shaking his head at me.

I don't get it. What did I miss? Why does no one ever tell me what I missed? If no one ever tells me what I missed, how will I ever figure out what's been going on? I pouted at Sano-san. Everyone seriously sucked.

We didn't have to wait too long before the dance practice was over. As Kosuzu was bowing in thanks to the okiya's proprietress, the maid that Sano-san spoke to earlier, informed the proprietress of guests. Kosuzu moved to the genkan[2] to prepare to greet her guests while the other women left the proximity to offer privacy. The maid came back outside to let us know that Kosuzu could see us now.

Sano-san entered the okiya first, holding the noren[3] up for me as I came in second while pulling Ibuki-kun in with me.

"Sorry for the wait." Kosuzu said while bowing as she politely received us.

"Sorry to disturb ya." Sano-san apologized before explaining why we were here. "Apparently, he said some pretty rude stuff to you, so he came to apologize. Do it Rynosuke!"

As soon as Sano-san finished speaking, he pushed down forcefully on Ibuki-kun's head, resulting in a messy bow.

"Fine!" said Ibuki-kun as he tried to get Sano-san to leave him alone.

One quick peek at Kosuzu and I could tell she wasn't going to accept the half-hearted apology from Ibuki-kun. Why would she? Ibuki-kun insulted her and was now being forced to apologize without any heart behind the apology. Such apologies were worthless and a waste of time.

"Bowing in apology means nothing if he does not regret what he said." she said refusing to accept the forced apology.

"You've got a point." Sano-san agreed as he ceased pushing Ibuki-kun into a bow.

"Maybe it would be better if you explained to him what he did that made you angry." I suggested. Perhaps if Ibuki-kun actually knew what he did wrong then he would be more apologetic.

"He truly is an ignorant idiot! He would be unable to understand without an explanation!" Sano-san added on.

"Quit calling me an idiot." Ibuki-kun complained after he straightened up again. He looked everywhere but at Kosuzu.

"Ibuki-han, you said that we should casually please our banquet guests," Ibuki-kun's head perked up slightly when he heard Kosuzu start to explain, "but since arriving in Kyoto, I have not missed a single day of dance, shamisen[4] or music lessons. And not just me, the same is true of the other women. This place is soaked with our sweat and tears. All of us live by selling the arts we have worked so hard to master!"

As Kosuzu was finishing up her explanation, Ibuki-kun's passive expression morphed into one of stunned realization before becoming one of regret.

"I…" he started before looking down in shame at his behavior from before.

"Now do you get it?" asked Sano-san. "Everyone has something that they will stand up for."

This time Ibuki-kun gave a low and genuine bow of apology to Kosuzu.

"I'm really sorry!" he exclaimed while bowing. Kosuzu was surprised at how genuinely he was apologizing for his slip up. "I said something horrible when I didn't know a thing about you! I'm sorry!"

"That's enough." said Kosuzu. She was no longer mad from earlier. "Please raise your head Ibuki-han. I'm sorry that I slapped you. Are you alright?"

Ibuki-kun was stupefied when Kosuzu raised her hand to gently caress the cheek she slapped. In fact, dare I say that it looked like he enjoyed her touch?

"Uh, yeah, I guess…" he answered with a small blush. "Although, I was surprised when it came out of nowhere."

Kosuzu removed her hand before backing up a bit to bow. "If you do not mind, could you ask for me the next time you visit a banquet room?"

"Huh? But… There's no way I'll be able to visit one again." Ibuki-kun said with his hand on his cheek, where Kosuzu had previously placed her hand.

"Please watch me perform my arts."

"No, like I said—"

"Sheesh, Just say, 'Okay!' already!" Sano-san exclaimed as he pushed down on Ibuki-kun's head again.

"What gives?! Let go of me!" Ibuki-kun complained again at Sano-san's action. At this rate, Sano-san was going to give Ibuki-kun some neck problems.

"Sano-san, if you break his neck then he won't be able to watch Kosuzu-san at all." I pointed out.

"He'll be fine." Sano-san answered, "Real men don't break that easily."

"Ouch! That hurts! Let go!" Ibuki-kun continued to complain as he flailed around helplessly.

"Be a man!" Sano-san said.

We must have looked quite strange because Kosuzu began laughing at our antics at the end.

* * *

Sano-san and I were finally on our way back to headquarters again after helping Ibuki-kun. Ibuki-kun had chosen to stay behind to speak with Kosuzu a bit longer, so it was just the two of us walking back. The sun was already starting to set.

"I've been meaning to ask you for a while now…" Sano-san said, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen between us. "What's your relationship with Souji now?"

I stopped walking and stared at him blankly. What did he mean by that? Did Souji's and mine relationship change? Was it supposed to?

"You don't get what I mean, do you?" Sano-san asked when I didn't reply.

I shook my head. Where was he going with this?

"Let's see… how should I say this? Before both of you were always close and affectionate with each other, but lately Souji's behavior has changed a lot regarding you." he explained vaguely.

Well, I didn't think much had changed. There was the kissing, but I didn't really think too much on it. Besides, how would Sano-san know anything about it? No one saw me and Souji kissing, nor did we tell anyone anything yet.

"Really? I don't see how." I answered honestly.

"Seriously?" Sano-san exclaimed with extreme frustration. "He's kissing you now and you don't see a change?"

"Wait… How do you know?"

"On the night you guys returned from Osaka, as I was returning to my room after getting a cup of water, I saw you two locked in a kiss in a dark hallway." he explained. "Do you even know how you feel about him?"

I shook my head again. It seemed I didn't know very much lately.

Sano-san sighed at my response. "I know you wouldn't reject him in fear of hurting him, but do you realize what you're doing right now will hurt him even more in the long run?"

My eyes widened at what Sano-san said. I knew it was stupid and irresponsible to kiss Souji back when I didn't understand my own feelings towards him, but I couldn't reject him. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt Souji more than I would have if I had rejected him that night.

"Wouldn't it have been better to reject him if you didn't feel the same way about him?"

"No!" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"Why?"

"I didn't reject him not only because I didn't want to hurt him, but also because it felt like my heart would break if I did…" I started off loudly before ending in a confused mumble. Heartbreak? Where did that come from? Exactly what did I feel for Souji?

"Oh?" Sano-san said, a bit stunned by the force of my outburst.

"I may not understand how I feel about him, but what I do know is that I would do anything to make him happy. There's nothing I wouldn't do for him."

My response must have been adequate enough for Sano-san because he smiled softly at my answer and patted me on the head.

"If you feel that way about him then both of you will be fine." he said as he started walking again.

I jogged after him to catch up. "What do you mean? Do you know what my feelings are?" I asked him. "Tell me."

"It's not my place to say. You should be the one to figure it out." he said, refusing my request. "But I will give you some advice. Instead of just reacting to Souji's acts of affection, you should initiate a few of your own. It hurts for a man when the woman he loves doesn't show her affection towards him in the same way he has been showing affection towards her. When a woman doesn't show her affection towards her man, he'll begin to doubt himself."

"…"

What he said had given me a lot to think about. Did I already unintentionally hurt Souji? Was this why he always seemed so disappointed around me lately? What were the feelings I was feeling towards Souji if Sano-san said that me and Souji would be okay? I had no answers for any of my questions. I continued following Sano-san in silence.

We continued to walk back to headquarters in complete silence until I was ripped out of my thoughts by the sound of children laughing and playing several minutes later. I looked towards the direction the sounds were coming from and saw four young children, three boys and one girl, playing with the man Sano-san and I were just talking about, by the riverbank. I stopped walking again and watched the kids play with Souji. He always did like kids and always went out of his way to play with them. I thought it was sweet. As if he felt my gaze, Souji looked up and our eyes met. I sent him a small smile and he grinned brightly back at me.

"Shizuka?" Sano-san called to catch my attention before following my gaze. "Oh? Why don't I head back first? You should stay here." he said with a knowing look before leaving for headquarters by himself.

"Hey, Souji! Who's that woman you were smiling at?" I heard one of the young boys ask Souji.

"Yeah!" the little girl added. "Who is she? She's pretty."

"She's my koibito[5]." Souji answered the kids with a playful wink. "Why don't one of you go invite her to play with us?"

"I'll do it!" the girl said while jumping up and down excitedly before running over to where I was. "Come play with us!" she said before grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the others.

I laughed good naturedly at her excitement. "Alright, I'll come." I said as I allowed her to pull me to where the others were. "So what are we playing?"

"We're playing Kagome Kagome!" said one of the boys, "Since you just joined us, you're the oni!"

"Alright then." I said before I covered my eyes with both hands.

The game Kagome Kagome was a game where one player was chosen as the oni and sat with his or her eyes covered. The others would then join hands and walk in circles around the oni while chanting the song for the game. When the song stopped, the oni would try to name the person that stood directly behind him or her.

The kids started chanting the little song after they were sure I wasn't peeking:

"The bird in the basket,

When, oh when will it come out

In the night of dawn

The crane and turtle slipped

Who is behind you now?"

"Hmm… I wonder who?" I said playfully as my hands remained over my eyes. I already knew who was behind me. It had to be Souji. I could always tell if it was him. "It's Souji!"

"Wah! How did you know?" asked one of the little boys.

"Because she always knows when it's me." said Souji with a grin. "Now it's my turn to be the oni."

Souji and I continued to play with the kids for another thirty minutes before we sent them home. The sun was almost gone from the sky and the day became dim as the moon prepared to appear in the night sky. Both Souji and I stayed by the riverbank and wave the children goodbye when they left.

"That was sweet of you to play with the kids." I said as I beamed up at Souji.

"I'm glad you think so." he answered happily before he fell silent.

He looked like he was deep in thought, but I was okay with that. While I was playing with the kids, I was also in deep thought about the advice Sano-san had given me earlier. I decided now would probably be a good time to act on Sano-san's advice.

"Close your eyes for me?" I suddenly requested with a charming smile.

"Eh?" Souji said in confusion at my sudden request before fulfilling it. "Okay."

After he closed his eyes, I stood on my toes as I reach upwards to cup his face. I pulled his face down towards mine before I kissed him softly for a few seconds. I then slowly drew away from him just enough so he could still feel my lips without actually touching them after I broke the kiss. After a few brief seconds I came back in for a second kiss, but this time I left my lips slightly open as I pressed my lips back against his. Souji responded excitedly to my small invitation and slipped his tongue into my mouth. One of his hands went behind my head while the other one when behind me and pressed into the small of my back as his tongue moved sensationally against mine. When he broke the kiss to breathe, I let myself linger a bit longer by briefly sucking gently on his lower lip.

When I finally did release his lower lip, instead of pulling away from me completely, Souji used his hand that was behind my head to tilt my head slightly to the side before he moved his lips to the side of my neck. I moved my hands to his waist as he continued to nip and suck on my neck lightly. As he busied himself with my neck, the hand that was holding my head slowly slipped downwards and stopped as it moved over the top of my right breast. He gave my right breast a light squeeze, but that wasn't enough for him. He seemed to feel the need for skin on skin contact. Encouraged by the small gasp I let out, he slipped his hand through the folds of my hakamashita and started to knead my bare breast underneath my clothing. My legs grew weak and suddenly it felt like it became harder to breathe while he continued his sensational administrations. I had to hold on tightly to keep myself from collapsing onto the floor from the foreign sensations. Oh…

But I had to wonder, did Souji really plan on doing this outside where any random person possibly walking by could see us?

When Souji pulled his face away from the crook of my neck, I could see a smug look on his face. He grinned wolfishly at me before he pulled me behind a cluster of trees growing on the riverbank. In the privacy of the cluster of trees, he backed me up against one of the trees. When I was firmly between him and the tree, he slowly pushed my hakamashita and my other clothing layers open before he stopped and stared. Then, gently with his hand, he lightly caressed my right breast before he slowly lowered his mouth onto my left breast while making eye contact with me. When his mouth connected I couldn't help but let out a breathy gasp of pleasure. Taking my gasp as a positive sign, Souji continued his actions for a couple more minutes before his hands and mouth switched breasts.

"Souji…" I gasped once more.

Souji released my breast again so he could press himself flush against me. "Shizuka…" he murmured quietly to himself before he lowered his mouth back onto my lips.

During the kiss, Souji began to grind his hips against me and that's when I snapped out of my lust induced haze. When Souji ground his hips against me, I felt something stiff poking my lower stomach. Did he have a…? A few more seconds of this grinding soon revealed that he did indeed have an erection. As Souji broke the kiss and began to draw back, I felt a blush crawling up from my feet all the way to the tip of my head. While I never got embarrassed over these type of things before, this time was different. I truly cared what Souji thought of me. Was I attractive enough for his tastes? What if he didn't like a part of me? What if—

Souji's soft chuckles snapped me out of my whirlpool of worries as he reached out to caress my cheek. I blinked before I slowly raised my eyes to his face shyly.

"Don't worry so much." he whispered warmly into my ear as his hands toyed with the ties of my hakama. "I think you're beautiful and perfect in every way." he assured me as if he could hear my insecurities.

Then with a gentle, quick tug of the cord, I felt my hakama become loose and slipped down my hips. There was no loincloth to block Souji's view, seeing that women of the Tokugawa era did not wear loincloths like the men did. Souji looked me in the eye once more before he returned his gaze to the soft region between my legs. He gave me a gentle smile before he experimentally reached down to touch me between the legs. In an instant, when his touch connected, my knees buckled as I sucked in a sharp breath. I didn't expect that sudden sharp pleasure. I didn't expect Souji to immediately aim for the little nub, known as the clitoris.

"Souji!" I gasped as I grabbed his upper arm to support myself. Oh…

Souji seemed surprised and even a bit shocked at the force of my reaction, but he continued his administrations. Slowly and surely, before long, I felt Souji insert a single finger into me.

"Oh…" I gasped once more as he lightly stroked me with his finger.

I could feel Souji's curious gaze on my face as he watched my reactions to his experimental touch. For someone who had never done any of this before, he seem to know exactly what he was doing. Before long, Souji withdrew his finger to examine it. A warm, slick fluid covered his finger.

"…just like Sano-san said…" I heard Souji mumble to himself as he curiously examined the fluid.

"Souji?" I panted questioningly. What did he mean by his earlier statement?

"It's nothing." he answered me gently before he began nuzzling the side of my neck once more. His hand returned to my nether regions and his finger back within me.

Just as Souji was reaching for his own hakama tie, I grabbed his wrist lightly.

"Shizuka?" Souji asked questioningly.

As much as I would love to have sex with Souji right now, I couldn't. Not without knowing what my feelings towards him really were first. Souji was the most important person to me so I cared how this relationship turned out. I wouldn't allow myself to mess this relationship by jumping into bed with him without knowing my feelings for him. I didn't want to hurt him.

"Souji…I…"

"No, you don't have to say anything." Souji cut me off before he caressed my naked hip. "I understand." Souji smiled gently at me, but I couldn't help but notice that he also looked a bit disappointed.

"I promise won't make you wait forever." I promised him. "I just need to figure somethings out first. So ple—"

"Shizuka! Souji! Where are you?" I suddenly heard Hijikata-san yell from the road. Sano-san was also with him. "Damn it. Shizuka should have been back by now to cook dinner…" Hijikata-san mumbled to himself.

"No need to worry so much." I then heard Sano-san say to Hijikata-san. "I left Shizuka with Souji. She's safe."

"That's not what I'm worried about. They might be engaged in some…inappropriate… activities right now… I can't let that happen! Shizuka is Kondou-san's daughter! She needs to get married first before she can engage in those activities!"

"Oh?" Sano-san asked with a grin. "Then Hijikata-san already knows about their relationship?"

"Of course I do, I saw them kissing once among other signs. It's everyone else that doesn't know."

Souji cursed quietly before he quickly stepped away from me to fix his ruffled appearance.

"Shizuka," Souji quickly whispered to me with a blush, "you need to…uh…hurry up and get dressed…"

I nodded with a flush and fixed my appearance in a rush while Souji averted his gaze with the heavy blush. Fortunately, I had barely finished fixing my appearance when Hijikata-san and Sano-san found us.

"There you two are!" Hijikata-san exclaimed stressfully. "Why didn't you two answer me when I was calling for the both of you?"

Souji spoke up first as he regarded Hijikata-san coolly, "We were watching the stars before you came and ruined the atmosphere with your annoying calls."

"What?! You little…" Hijikata-san growled before huffing angrily, "Whatever! We're going back now! Souji, you better not have done anything inappropriate to Shizuka!"

"Hmm?" Souji said dismissively as he brushed off Hijikata-san. They were still on bad terms with each other from the previous events. "Hijikata-san has a dirty mind."

"Whatever!" Hijikata-san then started stomping back towards headquarters.

Souji winked at me before he followed after Hijikata-san. Sano-san and I then followed after the two feuding men. However, instead of catching up to Hijikata-san and Souji, Sano-san walked with me at my casual speed.

"Did something happen?" Sano-san whispered to me so no one else could hear him.

"Why?" I asked him.

Sano-san didn't answer me verbally, but his eyes shot to Souji's hand. Souji's finger was still slick and wet with my fluids. He had never bothered to wipe off his finger. I flushed a cherry red color under Sano-san's knowing gaze. How the hell did Sano-san notice the fluid on Souji's finger in the dark of night?

* * *

"Everyone listen to this!" Otou-san exclaimed as all of the Roshigumi was gathered in the hall a few days after that intimate night. Like the same as last time, I was sitting in my little corner listening to the announcement. "We have been granted an audience with the Lieutenant General of Aizu tomorrow. All of the Roshigumi will visit the Kyoto Military Commissioner's headquarters.

"Awesome!" Heisuke exclaimed as everyone else showed their excitement, "That means they've finally acknowledged how cool we are!"

"What should I do? Y'know, I don't have a thing to wear!" Shinpachi-san said just as excitedly as Heisuke.

"Calm down men!" Hijikata-san scolded the rowdy group, "He's not done talking!"

"So here's the deal:" Otou-san continued speaking as soon as the men quieted down enough to hear him, "since we will be in the presence of the Aizu's Domain's lieutenant general, I would like to hold some matches for him to watch!"

"Some matches to watch?" Sano-san said with a hint of awe, "You mean we get to fight in front of a lord?"

Hijikata-san answered with a proud smile, "Yeah! It would be a waste if we just went to meet him and ended at that."

"Why should we go all through that trouble?" interjected Serizawa.

"Indeed!" agreed Niimi. "The Aizu Domain hardly even coughed up enough money to fund our work!"

"Leave all the sweaty work to us." Hijikata-san answered. "This job isn't big enough to concern two chiefs over it."

Serizawa smirked at the response as if he were extremely pleased at Hijikata-san's response.

"We've already decided who will face who." Hijikata-san continued. "The first match will be between Heisuke and I."

"I-I'm fighting Hijikata-san…?" Heisuke asked with shock at the match up.

"And the second match will between Shinpachi and Saito"

"Saito, eh? This should make for a pretty interestin' match!" proclaimed Shinpachi-san.

"The final match will be between Sannan-san and…Souji, you!" Hijikata-san finished.

Souji grew excited when he heard that he would be fighting Sannan-san in front of the Lord of Aizu. Hijikata-san was quite sly when he paired off Sannan-san and Souji in a spar. He hadn't really spoken too much to Souji since the incident regarding Tonouchi and had been on bad terms with Souji since the night he told him to go back to Edo. This was Hijikata-san's way of making up to Souji, by allowing Souji to fight Sannan, someone with a menkyo kaiden in Hokushin Ittō-ryū style, in front of a lord. This way Souji could show off his talent as a swordsman and get people to acknowledge him and Otou-san, the one who taught him swordplay.

"The Aizu Domain's assessment of us depends on the skills displayed in the matches, so please put your heart into your practice!" Otou-san exclaimed as he dismissed the meeting.

"Yes sir!" everyone shouted in acknowledgement before they got up to leave.

I got up from my small spot and made a beeline for Souji when the meeting was officially over.

"So, rumor has it that you have a match with someone with a menkyo kaiden in front of a lord tomorrow." I said playfully as I approached Souji.

He grinned at my words. "So there is. Here to wish me good luck?"

"Wish you good luck? You don't need it."

It was true that Sannan-san was good with a sword, but I believed that Souji was better. Souji was faster than Sannan-san and could read people's moves better. If Sannan-san was good with a sword then Souji was a genius.

"Hmm, so I don't." Souji said wryly. "But I still wouldn't mind it if you gave me a good luck kiss."

"Nope!" I denied his request. "You'll get a kiss when you win."

"Oh? Now I definitely can't lose with such a valuable reward on the line."

* * *

[1] An okiya (置屋) is the lodging house in which a maiko or geisha lives during the length of her nenki (contract or career as a geisha).

[2] Genkan (玄関) are traditional Japanese entryway areas for a house, apartment, or building—something of a combination of a porch and a doormat. The primary function of genkan is for the removal of shoes before entering the main part of the house or building. Genkan are often recessed into the floor, to contain any dirt that is tracked in from the outside (as in a mud room). The tiled or concrete genkan floor is called tataki (三和土).

[3] Noren (暖簾) are traditional Japanese fabric dividers, hung between rooms, on walls, in doorways, or in windows. They usually have one or more vertical slits cut from the bottom to nearly the top of the fabric, allowing for easier passage or viewing. Noren are rectangular and come in many different materials, sizes, colors, and patterns.

[4] The shamisen or samisen (三味線, literally "three strings"), also called sangen (三絃, also literally "three strings"), is a three-stringed, Japanese musical instrument derived from the Chinese instrument sanxian. It is played with a plectrum called a bachi.

[5] Means lover or sweetheart.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

"I'm here. I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There's nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me." ― Elizabeth Gilbert, _Eat, Pray, Love_

Sano-san, Ibuki-kun, and I stood behind the cloth borders that were set up around the courtyard where the matches were to take place. Otou-san, Serizawa, and Niimi sat with the officials that the matches were being held for. The guys that were chosen to participate in the matches were in the waiting area waiting for their turn to show off their skills.

"First up is Hijikata-san and Heisuke, right?" Ibuki-kun asked both Sano-san and I.

"Yeah." Sano-san answered Ibuki-kun before asking me with a sideways smile. "Who do you think will win, Shizuka?"

"Hijikata-san." I said without hesitation.

"Ouch! I think Heisuke would be insulted at how fast you answered that question." Sano-san grinned as he replied jokingly.

"It's not like I think that Heisuke is less skilled than Hijikata-san." I defended my answer. "It's just that Hijikata-san is someone that would do anything to win, even if it means fighting dirty."

While many would see fighting dirty as dishonorable, I personally would agree with Hijikata-san's fighting methods. In a real situation with real enemies that would cut you down without a second thought, no one would care about another person fighting dirty. A fair fight? I would take survival over chivalry any day. I'm sure there were other people that also shared the same sentiment. However, I did find it ironic that Hijikata-san, who had a strong sense of honor, would fight dirty.

"Well, I see your point." Sano-san yielded to my argument.

"Oh, it looks like they're beginning." said Ibuki-kun as he pointed to the center of the courtyard.

In the center of the courtyard stood Hijikata-san and Heisuke with their wooden swords, the referee for the matches stood off to the side, close enough to see each detail of the match and far away enough not to get caught in the crossfire. Both competitors got in to position as the referee began to raise his arm.

"You may now begin!" the referee declared loudly as he completely raised his arm to begin the match.

Both Hijikata-san and Heisuke tapped their wooden swords against each other's before leaping back into their battle stances. Both watched each other with focused expressions, trying to discern each other's moves, before Heisuke gave a confident smile and began moving his sword in a slight figure-eight motion.

"What is he doing?" asked Ibuki-kun, who was unfamiliar with the certain technique that Heisuke was using.

"It's called the 'Wagtail Sword'." explained Sano-san, "He keeps the sword constantly moving so that his opponent can't read when he'll strike."

"Hehhh?" Ibuki-kun said to indicate that he heard Sano-san.

Heisuke moved his right foot forward a bit to make it look like he was about to lunge. Not fooled by the false movement, Hijikata-san shifted his weight and moved his sword down to his right side to buckle down. The point of Hijikata-san sword was now pointed in a downwards direction in the opposite direction of where Heisuke was standing. Disappointed that Hijikata-san was able to call his bluff, Heisuke lunged forwards towards Hijikata-san to make the first strike of the match. With a great cry, Heisuke swung his wooden sword down towards Hijikata-san. At the same time that Heisuke had begun to lunge, Hijikata-san had also done the same. But instead of swinging his sword down like Heisuke did, Hijikata-san had forcefully swung his sword upwards to meet the downwards swing of the other sword. When the two swords collided, Heisuke's sword was repelled and he was knocked back from the amount of strength Hijikata-san put into that swing.

Seeing an opening after knocking Heisuke slightly off balanced, Hijikata-san quickly followed up his previous attack with a downwards slash. Heisuke was barely able to block that attack and the force of that attack sent him sliding backwards in a crouched position. Being both bigger and taller than Heisuke, Hijikata-san clearly was the one that possessed more physical strength. Both men looked up at each other and grinned. It had been awhile since both of them had sparred against each other and they were enjoying the match.

Standing back up at his full height, Heisuke charged at Hijikata-san once more. Both swords clashed against each other once again. Heisuke quickly pulled back his sword and continuously attacked Hijikata-san in several fast strikes. With this barrage of speedy attacks, Hijikata-san could only defend himself as he was pushed back. With each quick attack, Heisuke made sure not to have his sword pressed against Hijikata-san's sword for too long. The speed of the attacks made it impossible for Hijikata-san to make use of his physical strength to repel Heisuke. If the swords didn't remain in contact long enough then Hijikata-san could not physically push Heisuke into submission. Hijikata-san may have been physically stronger than Heisuke, but his physical strength would be useless unless he could find some way to bypass Heisuke's faster speed.

After about a minute of the same tactic, Hijikata-san dodged the next attack instead of blocking it. Heisuke, who had gotten into the flow of his attacks, could not stop himself from moving forward after the missed attack. In that moment, Hijikata-san quickly aimed a well-timed attack in that opening and hit Heisuke's face with his wooden sword. Heisuke dropped his wooden sword and clutched his eye in pain, thus ending the match.

"Ouch." I commented when Hijikata-san's hit landed. "By the looks of it, Heisuke's eye will probably be swollen shut for a week."

"He'll be fine in a day or so." Sano-san replied without taking his eyes off the central courtyard. "It's Heisuke, after all."

At the end of that match, Both Hijikata-san and Heisuke bowed to each other before stepping off the combat floor. Shinpachi-san and Saito-san now moved towards the center of the courtyard for their match as Hijikata-san walked back towards the waiting area and Heisuke towards the cloth borders of the courtyard. Heisuke ducked under the cloth border and made his way to where Sano-san, Ibuki-kun, and I were standing.

"Dang it! And here I was so close." Heisuke muttered disappointedly.

At the sound of Heisuke's voice, Sano-san stopped focusing on where Saito-san and Shinpachi-san were standing and turned around to face Heisuke.

"Oh Heisuke…" Sano-san paused as he saw the black eye.

"Huh?" Heisuke asked at the pause with a giant grin.

Sano-san smiled back. "Forget it. It was a good match." Sano-san said.

Heisuke's grin became even wider at Sano-san's praise.

I pulled out a small container of cold water and a towel from my little tool kit that I brought with me and walked over to examine Heisuke's injury.

"Hmm… it doesn't look too bad, but it needs cold compression." I said after my brief examination. I quickly wet the towel with the cold water and pressed it to his eye. "Compress the injury with that cold towel for ten minutes at a time." I instructed before turning back to watch the match between Saito-san and Shinpachi-san.

"Begin!" I heard the referee yell right before I fully turned around to catch the beginning of the match.

Both men face each other in their normal battle stances: Shinpachi-san in the standard right-handed stance and Saito-san in his backwards left-handed stance. Saito-san had the advantage in this match. While both men were extremely skilled, Saito-san was left-handed and there were no sword techniques to counter a left-handed opponent. Both men stood still for several seconds before Shinpachi-san attacked first. Shinpachi-san charged forwards and swung his wooden sword downwards towards Saito-san only to be quickly blocked. Saito-san immediately pushed Shinpachi-san off and lunged forwards with a piercing attack.

Shinpachi-san and Saito-san both attacked each other with fast powerful strikes for the next several seconds, but none of the hits actually landed. For each attack that was attempted by both men, there was either a parry or a dodge that followed. Finally, as if they both decided that this stalemate was long enough, they both leapt away from each other. The match winner would be determined by the next attack. Both charged at each other once again, but as Shinpachi-san was preparing to swing his sword downwards onto Saito-san's lower stance, Saito-san made an incredibly fast sidestep and landed a swift hit to Shinpachi-san's side to end the match.

Both stood up straight again and bowed to each other before heading behind the cloth borders. It was now Sannan-san's and Souji's turn.

"Dammit! I lost." Shinpachi-san complained loudly as soon as he stepped behind the cloth borders.

"Good job!" Heisuke exclaimed cheerfully to both Shinpachi-san and Saito-san with his arms crossed behind his head.

"Quick, the next match is about to begin." I told everybody. Everyone shut up and went to watch the next match.

Now, both Sannan-san and Souji were facing each other in the courtyard. The referee began the match, but before anyone moved, Souji spoke to Sannan-san.

"Once I win, the lord of Aizu will acknowledge the Tennen Rishin-ryū." Souji said to Sannan-san, "Sorry, but I'm going to use Sannan-san and the Ittō-ryū as stepping stone. This is for the good of Kondou-san and the Roshigumi. Please don't hate me."

"Oh my." Sannan-san replied confidently. "It seems that I'm being looked down upon. You may be the best sword user in Shieikan. But there's a difference of experiences between us."

After the exchange of words, the match then truly began. Sannan-san started off with the same sword technique Heisuke had used in his match.

"Is that the Wagtail Sword again?" Ibuki-kun asked.

"Yeah." answered Sano-san.

"But Sannan-san… Is that going to work on Souji?" asked Heisuke.

Sannan-san attacked first by launching a series of attacks on Souji, but each of them were blocked quite easily. Souji grinned at Sannan-san, feeling totally at ease.

"I can read your moves, Sannan-san." Souji taunted with a confident smirk.

Sannan-san grit his teeth when none of his attacks got through Souji's defense. "I see you've grown strong, Okita-kun." Sannan-san admitted.

After Sannan-san had finished speaking, Souji launched into his own series of attacks. Each attack was aimed at a vital area of Sannan-san's body. The back of the neck, throat, and the solar plexus were all targets. Souji was fighting like he was aiming to kill. While Souji had always been harsh during practice, it was nothing like this. This new fighting style of his was bloody and I wasn't the only one that realized this.

"Just like I thought." Shinpachi-san said. "Souji's fighting style changed a bit. He was always rough on everyone in practice, with the exception of Shizuka-chan, but now his style is even bloody. It's like he's wielding a real sword."

"Like a real sword? What's that about?" asked Ibuki-kun.

"Watch." I said to Ibuki-kun, "Souji keeps aiming at vital spots, such as the back of the neck, throat, and the solar plexus. The angle he cuts in is also similar. If you slash at the wrong angle, a real sword may easily bend or break. So controlling the angle is an essential skill."

The fierce battle continued, until Souji hit Sannan's shoulder with the Sandanzuki and made Sannan-san drop his sword. The high officials of Aizu must have been surprised that someone from the nameless Tennen Rishin-ryū could defeat a menkyo kaiden in Ittō-ryū. Instead of joining with the rest of the guys behind the cloth border, Sannan-san and Souji both walked back to the waiting area when the match ended. Wanting to congratulate Souji on his victory, I quickly made my way over to where he was.

"Sannan-san, what did you think of this match?" Souji asked Sannan-san right before I made myself known.

Instead of calling out to Souji, I remained silent and hid in the shadows to listen in on their conversation.

"What do you mean?" Sannan-san questioned.

"The bloodiness in my swordsmanship. It's because I've had a taste of what killing is like." Souji said with a bit of self-deprecation in his voice.

Sannan-san kept silent, considering Souji's words before finally answering, "You have grown stronger, Okita-kun."

Souji seemed surprised at the straightforward praise that held no hint of sarcasm or unpleasantness.

"That's unexpected." commented Souji. "Didn't you feel afraid when crossing swords with me? You could've gotten killed."

"…Let bygones be bygones. What really matters is that you are now stronger than you were before. That's why I praise you wholeheartedly."

"Sannan-san sure is hard to understand."

I clenched my fists at Souji's words. I knew that Souji wanted to be useful to Otou-san and that he would use his talent with a sword to kill for Otou-san. Souji was determined to be a tool that would be useful to Otou-san, but the problem was that I didn't want him to become a tool. I was fine with Souji killing, but I was definitely not okay with Souji becoming a tool. I was afraid that Souji would lose sight of his humanity and become someone I wouldn't even recognize anymore. I was terrified of losing him, of being left alone again. I wouldn't be able to stand it if he went somewhere I was not able to follow. Unwilling to listen to this conversation anymore, I took the coward's choice and ran instead of facing Souji.

* * *

I hid in the comfort of Kyoko-chan's futon in her room and had not moved since arriving at her family's house. I had pulled the covers over my head and curled up in fetal position underneath for hours. It was now the Hour of the Dog and Kyoko-chan had sat by me for the past few hours trying to comfort me.

"Shizuka-chan," Kyoko-chan said as she continuously stroked my back through the futon covers in a comforting motion. "Don't you think you should go home now? The sun set two hours ago and I'm sure they're all worried about your disappearance."

I shook my head as my answer despite knowing that she couldn't see my actions under the blankets.

"If you don't want to go home then you should at least eat some dinner." Kyoko-chan said as she tried to coax me out of her futon.

I merely shook my head again. Kyoko-chan sighed before she left the room. She returned about an hour later with Otou-san.

"Shizu-chan? What's wrong?" Otou-san asked as if he was speaking to a spooked deer. At his question, I curled up into an even tighter ball. I didn't want to speak to Otou-san. He was the reason Souji was so determined to become a useful tool.

The feeling of isolation I thought I had gotten rid of several years ago had begun to creep back into my life. It settled in my veins once more as fear crippled me and clung on. The fear of being alone poisoned me down to my very soul. I couldn't think anymore.

When he realized that he wouldn't get an answer out of me he turned to Kyoko-chan for an answer.

"Did she say what was wrong?"

"No, she hasn't said a single word since arriving."

"It's been years since I last saw her break down like this… I'll take her home. Maybe Souji can coax the answer out of her. He always seems to know what to do when Shizu-chan's like this." Otou-san said. "Thank you for watching over her."

Otou-san peeled back the covers and picked me up. I remained in a tight ball all the way back to headquarters. Once we got back to the Yagi house, he placed me on my futon in my room and left to find Souji. Just mere seconds after leaving, Otou-san returned with Souji. Hijikata-san had also tagged along and was trailing behind those two. Souji crouched down in front of me and stroked my cheek gently.

"Shizuka, what's wrong?" Souji asked softly.

I couldn't answer him. I couldn't even look at him. Even though I was afraid of him leaving me behind, I couldn't face him. So I pushed him away further instead. When Souji realized I wouldn't look at him, he slipped his hand under my chin and gently forced me to look him in the eye. When our eyes connected I started to tear up and Souji's eyes widened at the drops of tears rolling down my face. I quickly pulled away from Souji and buried my face into my knees. He was at a loss at what to do. I had never reacted to him in such a way before. In fact, when we were both younger, whenever I had a mental breakdown of some sort, I would always run to him. This time I was running away from him.

"Let me try." I heard Hijikata-san say when he realized Souji's attempts weren't working.

When I felt a gentle pat on my head I looked up. Hijikata-san was now crouching next to Souji and in front of me. I felt a sense of relief when I saw Hijikata-san.

"Souji is the cause of this breakdown. Hijikata-san is going to help me fix what Souji broke." was all that was being repeated in my head as I leapt into Hijikata-san's embrace. Even though I could not think clearly in this state, I knew I would never be able to forget the look of hurt and betrayal on Souji's face as I accepted Hijikata-san's comfort while rejecting his.

* * *

After everyone left my room to rest for the night, I had laid in my futon tossing and turning. Every time I closed my eyes, I always saw Souji's back as he walked away from me. I was never able to catch up to him and always shot awake when I lost sight of him in my dreams. I had long given up trying to sleep for the night when it became clear that the nightmares would not cease. It was at this time I had finally calmed down just enough from my breakdown earlier tonight to start thinking clearly again.

How did all of this happen? How did it come to the point where I needed Souji like I needed air? Without really realizing it, Souji had become my foundation in this life. He had become my foundation in this life and I had pushed him away earlier. The image of his hurt and betrayal expression flashed in my mind once more. I truly was a wretched person. How could I have hurt the man that I love?

…

…

…

The man I love?!

That epiphany hit me like a brick when I realized what I had just said mentally. How could I have not realized my true feeling until now, until after I had hurt him? This had to be the reason I was so attached to him, why I always treasured his every touch and word, why I was always so irrational around him. I had hurt him and pushed him away earlier and I had to fix it now. I jumped out of my futon and moved with purpose towards Souji's room. When I arrived outside of his room, I slid the door open and was greeted by the sight of an empty room.

I immediately descended into a state of tearful panic. Where was Souji? What if he left because I pushed him away earlier? What if—

"Shizuka?" I heard a voice from behind.

I spun around and finally broke out into a sobbing mess. Souji was standing behind me in his normal clothing. Despite how late it was, he had not gone to bed yet. He started to panic again when he saw my tears.

"Stay here! I can go get Kondou-san or Hijikata—"

I interrupted Souji by running to him and burying my face into his chest.

"Don't leave me behind." I sobbed into his chest. "Don't go where I can't follow."

Souji was shocked by what I had blurted out and didn't move for a few seconds. After he had gathered his thoughts, he wrapped his arms around me and carried me into his room. He sat down on his futon and cradled me against his chest in his lap.

"I'm not going anywhere." he said softly after kissing my forehead. "What's this about? Can you tell me?"

"I-I heard w-what you said to Sannan-san after today's m-match." I hiccupped tearfully. "I-I'm afraid that y-you'll become someone I no longer recognize. I don't want to be a-alone. D-don't leave me!"

Souji tightened his grip on me at my words as realization dawned on him. "I promise I won't leave you. You'll never have to be alone as long as I'm here. Shh, don't cry anymore."

Souji stood up again so he could place me in his futon. Then without changing into his sleeping robe, he crawled in too. He held me close as he ran his fingers through my hair until I stopped crying once more. I clung on to him tightly as I fell into a peaceful sleep. I would be fine as long as Souji was with me. Everything would be okay.

* * *

I awoke to the gentle touch of someone running his hand down my back. I laid on top of Souji's chest as he absentmindedly stroked my back. The sun was already starting to rise. That must have meant I had over slept and the guys were now scrambling to make the missing breakfast that I was in charge of preparing.

"Souji?" I asked. Did he sleep at all last night? Did I keep him up all night?

"Oh, you're awake." Souji said before he smiled down at me. "Feeling better?"

I nodded before asking, "Did you sleep at all last night?"

"Yeah, don't worry." he said. "You didn't keep me up last night."

I nuzzled his chest as I apologized to him. "I'm sorry for what happened last night."

"You don't need to apologize. I understand what happened." he replied softly before cheekily saying, "But if you feel really guilty about what happened, then you can give me that kiss you promised me. I did win my match."

I giggled at his request and Souji seemed proud that he was able to make me laugh. "Alright." I agreed. My mood was definitely a lot lighter than last night.

I pushed myself up off his chest a bit and gave him a nice, long, steamy kiss on the lips.

"Mmm, Shizuka," Souji moaned in pleasure in the kiss as he subconsciously started to wiggle his hips against mine.

Now that I had finally figured out my feelings for him, if he wanted to go further now then I wouldn't stop him. We parted for air before I kissed him deeply again. I ran my hands down his chest as I returned the favor and ground my hips back against his. He moaned into the kiss as his hips buckled forwards a bit. A bulge was starting to form in his hakama as I continued to rub my hips against his lower regions. One of my hands now slipped down from his chest to stroke the growing bulge through his clothing.

"Shizuka…" he panted with reddening cheeks in between kisses.

I now moved that hand back up to the tie holding his top closed while we were locked in another kiss and as I was about to pull it loose, Otou-san barged into the room.

"Souji, Shizuka isn't in her room! Do you know where— EHHHHHHH?!"

And so the nice quite morning was no longer so quiet anymore. Luckily, Otou-san could only see us kissing because the blanket was covering everything below our shoulders. He didn't see what I was about to do with my hands below the blankets. Poor Souji didn't seem to know what to do in this situation. He didn't want to upset Otou-san, but at the same time he desperately wanted to continue.

Feeling a bit rebellious in my good mood, I said to Otou-san with a sly smile, "Don't you know it's rude to barge into someone else's room without permission first?"

Then I turned back and kissed Souji, who was still dumbfounded, again as the other guys started to arrive at the scene, drawn by Otou-san's loud yelp earlier.

"EHHHHH?!"

This time it was a chorus of people's voices that rang through the morning air.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

"Love your Enemies, for they tell you your Faults." ― Benjamin Franklin, _Poor Richard's Almanack_

"You—I—He—What—Shizuka!" Otou-san spluttered out, too shocked to make a complete sentence.

Now that I think about it in hindsight, that kiss plus the rebellious statement I made a bit earlier probably wasn't the best of my ideas. Otou-san looked like he was about to have an aneurism from what he just witnessed: his young, marriageable aged daughter lying on top of the young, unmarried man that he had helped raised from age nine, kissing each other while lying on the same futon. It was every father's worst nightmare. Souji, who realized the gravity of the situation, gently pushed me off of him and into a sitting position before sitting up himself. He made sure that the blanket was still covering everything under his waist while he was in sitting position. He would have hell to explain to Otou-san about the bulge in his pants. It was better to hide it and avoid that conversation for now.

"Souji—I—How—" Otou-san continued to splutter unintelligently before finally turning to Hijikata-san. "Toooshiiii, what do I doooo?" Otou-san whined like a distressed child. He had no experience to draw on for dealing with this type of situation.

"Wha—Why are you asking me Kondou-san?!" Hijikata-san said as he stumbled over his own words. "I don't have any kids, much less a daughter! I wouldn't know what to do either!"

"I think both of you are over reacting." Sano-san commented calmly as he grin slyly at me and Souji. "I'm sure some of us expected something like this to happen soon. The signs should have been too obvious to miss."

"Whaddaya mean?!" Shinpachi-san rejected the notion. "I didn't see nothin'!"

"That's because you're blinder than a bat, Shinpat-san." Heisuke said. Like he was one to speak. I bet he didn't notice anything too, just like Shinpachi-san.

"Still, regardless of whether we were expecting it or not, it was still quite a shock." said Sannan-san with his glasses mysteriously gleaming in the morning sun. "There was a reason why we all cried out in surprise earlier. Right, Saito-kun?"

"Um, Umm…" Saito-san stuttered while still blushing from witnessing the earlier event. Saito-san was never very good with dealing with these things.

"If this was a shock to us, imagine how Isami-san must feel. Shizuka-chan is his daughter." Inoue-san pointed out before suggesting, "The best thing to do right now is to sit down and have a man to man talk to straighten out the situation."

"R-right!" Otou-san stuttered as he accepted Inoue-san's suggestion.

Hijikata-san let out a tired sigh first before he walked over to where I was seated and plucked me up by the scruff of my sleeping robe and carried me out the door before dropping me on the floor like I was a cat. However, unlike a cat would have, I landed on my butt instead of on my feet.

"Go do something else right now. Us men are going to have a talk with Souji. You don't need to be here for this. Go finish up making breakfast for everyone." Hijikata-san said strictly before slamming the door in my face.

I sat stupefied on the floor outside the room for a few seconds before standing up. What just happened? As I was about to leave for the kitchen to finish up making the half-finished breakfast, Shinpachi-san's muffled voice came through the closed door.

"Souji, you have an erect—oomph!" Shinpachi-san managed to say before he was silenced by what sounded like a makura[1] hitting his face.

"Shinpachi-san, shut up." I heard Souji say. "You would have one too if the woman you love was lying on top of you and kissing you like that. In fact, I'm pretty sure you would have one if any woman was giving you that same treatment."

Oops, they did discover Souji's erection from earlier. Maybe I should stay and eavesdrop on their discussion. I might have to step in if they decided they wanted to castrate Souji out of anger—

"Shizuka!" I jumped when I heard Hijikata-san yell out my name. "I know you're still there! We won't start the talk until you leave the premises!"

…On the other hand, I should probably go finish cooking breakfast they started to make before their uncanny interruption. Otou-san liked Souji, so he should be fine? I turned and headed to my room first. I needed to change out of my sleepwear first before I could start working on breakfast.

* * *

"Hmph! I didn't think I would find you completely alone, even in the kitchen." a voice interrupted me when I was chopping the shiitake for the miso soup.

"Go away." I said to the owner of the voice without turning around. "Your presence is enough to ruin my morning."

"Do you really think that you could order me, Serizawa Kamo, around?"

"Yes. Now go away." I said as I tried my best to ignore the man's presence.

Instead of going away, like I hoped he would, all Serizawa did was laugh at me. After he finished laughing, he regarded me with an amused yet serious expression.

"It's interesting to see how all the men from your otou-san's dojo treat you so delicately without truly seeing how dangerously manipulative you are." he said before snorting, "They're all fools."

"We all see only what we want to see. Shut one's eyes tight or open one's arms wide, either way, one's a fool." I replied calmly before turning around to face him. "I doubt you're here just for a friendly conversation. What the hell do you want?" I demanded as I clutched the knife I was using tightly in my hands.

"Well, you see, yesterday before the matches started, the Lieutenant General said something very particular to me. He told me get the rumors about myself flying around Kyoto under control before Aizu would be forced to dispose of me to protect their reputation." Serizawa smirked. "So instead of killing me yourself, you're going to manipulate Aizu into ordering my assassination. You're quite a clever one, but this is a dangerous game you're playing."

"A game, huh?" I said before sarcastically retorting, "Oh, it's so much fun, but you see, I would get far too few points if I just out right stabbed you. There would be a few more points added to my score if I stabbed you in the back, but that would be too boring. It would be far more interesting to stab you in the back with someone else's hand. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Hahaha!" Serizawa laughed at my sarcastic statement before warning me. "Don't think I'll just stand by and let you do what you want."

I smiled faintly at his threat. "I know, but don't you think I accounted for that? The Code of Conduct does not apply to me because I'm not an official member of the Roshigumi nor can you attack me directly because of everyone from Otou-san's dojo."

Serizawa smirked at my confidence. It almost seemed like he was enjoying this challenge. "Do you think you're the only one who knows how to play this tune?" he asked confidently as he approached me slightly. "I can also manipulate the conditions and force you out of the picture without laying a hand on you."

"Shall we see who gets rid of whom first then?" I asked as I returned his smirk with my own. Serizawa wasn't the only one enjoying this dangerous game.

"Heh!" he snorted. "You know what I find very interesting? The fact that you are only twelve years younger than Kondou-kun."

What? That seemed completely unrelated from our previous topic. Where was he going with this and what was he planning. I needed to be cautious around his next set of questions.

"There's no way for you to be his actual daughter by blood. He's not the type to have illegitimate children. So where did you come from? Perhaps you're the daughter of a close relative, or of a close friend of his. Or perhaps you were an abandoned child that he found." he said as he fished for the answer.

Before I could stop myself, I flinched at the word "abandoned". Serizawa's smirk grew in size when he caught my reaction.

"So I see… I have almost everything I need. Enjoy your freedom while it last." Serizawa said before leaving the kitchen.

What did he mean by that? Did he already have everything he needed to remove me from his way? Shit. He blindsided me because I was too focused on my own plan and failed to cover one of my weak points. Which weak point did he uncover and how was I going to defend myself from his next move? When was his next move? I could only hope that he believed that I was the only person involved in the rumor spreading. Even if I was removed, as long as Serizawa didn't discover Kyoko-chan, then my plan could be completed. I had to act carefully now to avoid revealing my allies, it wouldn't do me any good if I panicked now.

I completed making breakfast about twenty minutes after my confrontation with Serizawa, but the guys still hadn't emerged from their meeting inside of Souji's room. I really hoped that they didn't do anything to him. However, I doubted that Otou-san would disallow him from continuing our relationship. Out of all the men that I could have ended up with, I'm sure that Otou-san was actually pretty pleased I ended up with Souji. But even though I did end up with one of the men that Otou-san trusted, he would probably still lay down some ground rules for, in today's terms, "courting" me. Deciding that the "talk" had gone on long enough, I headed back to Souji's room. I wasn't about to let the breakfast I finished grow cold. If they hadn't finished their talk right about now then I wasn't my problem.

"Got it?!" Hijikata-san's strict voice filtered through closed doors. "If I see you touching Shizuka inappropriately then I'll remove your offending appendages!"

Remove, as in cut off? Geez, wasn't that going a bit too far?

"Mah, Mah, Toshi. Don't you think that's a little too harsh? If they're serious about each other than shouldn't they be allowed a certain amount of physical contact?" I heard Otou-san's counterargument.

"You're being too lenient with Souji, Kondou-san! If you're not strict enough then Shizuka could end up pregnant before getting married first!"

"Oh! That does sound bad! But Shizu-chan has always been mature for her age, so shouldn't we trust her judgment?" Otou-san said. "Besides, if Shizu-chan does end up pregnant, wouldn't that be a good thing? It would be nice if Souji fathered my grandchild."

"Not before she's married!" Hijikata-san exclaimed stressfully.

"R-Right!" Otou-san stuttered. "That's what I meant to say!"

"How come no one else trusts my judgment on this matter?" I then heard Souji mutter.

"Because you're the guy in the relationship." came Sano-san's amused voice. "Plus your 'little friend' in your hakama that was demanding attention earlier doesn't help your case when it comes to trusting you."

"Well, I think this discussion has gone on long enough." I heard Sannan-san say. "Breakfast should be done about now. Shizuka-chan has been standing outside for quite some time now."

"Right! Everyone's dismissed!" said Hijikata-san before the door was opened. Everyone walked out of the room in single file and headed towards breakfast, except for Otou-san and Hijikata-san. Souji stopped in front of me and gave me a quick peck on the cheek with an impish smile.

"We'll talk in private after breakfast." Souji whispered into my ears before he followed the rest of the guys, with a spring in his step, to eat breakfast.

"Shizu-chan, come inside. We need to talk." Otou-san called to me through the open door with Hijikata-san sitting next to him. Unlike Otou-san, who had a friendly expression on his face, Hijikata-san looked both stern and annoyed at the same time.

I stepped past the threshold with caution and seated myself directly across from Otou-san and Hijikata-san. Despite looking friendlier than Hijikata-san, Otou-san still looked so serious. Even though I heard how lenient Otou-san was towards Souji, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Otou-san let out a sigh before giving me a small, friendly smile when he saw the unease on my face.

"No need to be so tense, Shizu-chan. I'm not mad. I was just a little surprise at the events of this morning."

I nodded slowly at Otou-san's words. So he wasn't mad? That can't be the end of it. There had to be a "but" coming.

"I won't lie and say I'm not happy about this development, but I am also disappointed that you didn't tell me about your relationship with Souji." Otou-san stated. "I had always thought that you and Souji would fit well together. I always felt like such a terrible chichi because I never arranged a marriage for you. But if this works out then there would be no need for me to arrange a marriage."

Right… arranged marriages… The concept of marrying for love was quite an interesting practice to the non-western countries and was almost unheard of in Asia during this time period. Because I was raised in the United States in my past life, it was always so easy to forget that most of the world in the past actually practiced arranged marriages. In fact, in the Tokugawa era, the parents almost always arranged the marriages of their children. The cases of double suicide for young adults were not uncommon because of this practice.

"You're not terrible!" I exclaimed as I place my hand over Otou-san's hand. "You took me in and raised me as your own when it would have been easier to just ignore me and let me die. Just because you never arranged a marriage for me doesn't make you a bad chichi. In fact, I'm glad you didn't arrange my marriage. Because my marriage was not arranged, it gives me the ability to choose who I want to be with."

Otou-san was a wonderful person and I wouldn't stand to let him feel guilty over such a small reason when he provided an amazing life for me. Otou-san smiled at my words.

"My little Shizu-chan…" Otou-san said as he pat my cheek affectionately after I spoke. "It would be wonderful if I could see grandchildren from you and Souji soon…"

"Grandchildren? Don't you think that's a bit fast? Don't you think it would be better for you to focus on Tamako-chan rather than on me bearing grandchildren right now?" I asked. It was just officially revealed that Souji and I were in a relationship and Otou-san already wanted grandchildren? There hadn't even been any talk of marriage yet.

"Well, it's good to have a big family." Otou-san reasoned before Hijikata-san let out a small cough as he subtly elbowed Otou-san. "Ah! Before I forget, I laid out some ground rules for you and Souji. The main important rule is: you two are not allowed to have sex with each other until you two get married."

Hijikata-san nodded with his arms crossed over his chest as Otou-san spoke before he shot me a serious look.

"That seems fair—" wait… "What do you mean by 'married'?" I asked with a hint of surprise. Forget there not being any talk of marriage. We were now reaching that point in the conversation.

"Well, I think it's pretty obvious that Souji will become my son-in-law in the future. Chichi knows best, after all." Otou-san said with a thoughtful look on his face before he grinned at me. "Now why don't we go join the others for breakfast?"

What a strange and interesting morning this was. No wonder Souji was so ecstatic when he left the room earlier. The man that he admired most practically gave him his blessing to marry his daughter. And not to mention, Otou-san literally said that he would like to see Souji father a child with me. My mind was split between worrying about Serizawa's threat and wondering about what Otou-san had said about grandchildren and marriage. Forget it. I'll worry about everything later and just focus on eating breakfast for now.

* * *

Souji slipped into the kitchen as I was washing the dishes from breakfast this morning. He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind before he playfully nipped my ear.

"Busy?" he blew into my ear.

"Well, you have eyes don't you?" I retorted with a small snort. "See me doing the dishes? That means busy."

Despite my answer, I put the dish I was washing back into the soapy tub and turned around in his embrace so that I was facing him. He had a playful smile on his face.

"So, what is it that you need?" I asked with a small smile.

"I did say we'll talk after breakfast." he said. "It is now after breakfast."

"So it is." I said before I quickly gave him a peck on the lips.

Souji's expression shifted from his playful smile to a slightly exasperated expression before he spoke.

"You know, that was a pretty dirty move that you made earlier while we were kissing. When Kondou-san walked in on us, I was pretty sure I was going to be castrated when he saw me sporting an erection." he said. "I can't believe you just left me in that state."

"Well, I wasn't going to continue in front of Otou-san. Besides, you hid it pretty well."

"Not well enough. Shinpachi-san spotted it through the blankets and announced it to everyone there. Do you know how painful it was to sit there and listen to the guys lecture me while waiting for it to go away?" he said as he let a hand start to wander. "Hijikata-san gave me hell when he saw it. He's even more protective of you than Kondou-san is."

"Well, Otou-san does trust me more than Hijikata-san does." I reply before turning back around to continue the dishes while sass back at him, "Oh, going back to your previous question: seeing that I don't have a penis, I doubt I will ever know how painful it was for you."

"You—" Souji said as he narrowed his eyes dangerously at me before they gained a mischievous glint.

Holding on to my waist tightly with one arm to prevent me from wiggling away, Souji took advantage of the fact that I was wearing my normal, purple kimono today instead of my hakama. Using his other free arm he reached around me and quickly stuck his hands through the front lower folds of my kimono and past my koshimaki, a type of cloth that was similar to a long skirt and acted as underwear. Seeing that the koshimaki was also open ended like a long skirt, Souji did not have to fumble around much with any clothing in order to reach his destination.

"Souji!" I gasped as I froze and dropped the plate I was washing back into the soapy tub of water. I could feel him smirking against my neck as he slowly stroked my nether regions.

"So you don't know how painful it is?" he teased me playfully. "You don't have the same equipment as I do, but I guarantee you I can make you feel the same way you made me feel earlier."

When he finished speaking he began to slowly increase the speed he was stroking my private area and within a matter of seconds, I was reduced to a puddle.

"S-Souji," I gasped, "h-here? But people can see—Ohhh…"

"No one will see." he whispered into my ear. "They're all busy right now."

Souji continued his administrations for a little bit longer before he removed his fingers to let me catch my breath. He seemed rather satisfied that his fingers were damp when he pulled them away.

"See?" Souji whispered. "It feels good, but it's hard to deal with when you don't finish, right?"

I nodded quietly. He seemed happy enough with my answer.

"So, do you want to finish?" he then whispered seductively against my ear. "I can help." he added eagerly as he tried to tempt me.

Unfortunately for him, I had much better control than he originally thought.

"I'm fine." I answered after I caught my breath, surprising him with my steady response.

"Wait—what? Really?" he asked in surprise and disappointment.

"Yes. Besides, I'm pretty sure you still remember the ground rules that Otou-san laid down from just this morning?" I reprimanded him.

He frowned before averting his gaze. "Tsk!" he voiced unhappily. "That one stupid rule is all Hijikata-san's fault. He was the one that suggested 'that' to Kondou-san. I was hoping you would forget about it."

"It's not that bad." I defended the rule. "Otou-san and Hijikata-san have the best intentions in mind. I'm sure that it will also will be more satisfying if we wait too."

I could understand why Otou-san agreed what Hijikata-san suggested. What father wouldn't? They were both just looking out for me. I decided that I would honor the set of rules that they laid out so that they wouldn't have to worry unnecessarily about me. But Souji couldn't see it from their point of view, especially if Hijikata-san was the one that came up with the "abstinence until married" part.

"Stupid, demonic, cockblocking, Hijikata-san." Souji mumbled under his breath. Well, I think I better change the subject before he becomes grumpy for the rest of the day.

"You know, Otou-san called you his son-in-law when he was speaking to me." I said.

"Did he?" Souji asked as he brightened up considerably. He released the hold he had on my waist and gently nudged me to the side so he could wash the dishes for me.

"Uh-huh." I nodded. "Remember when he said that it would be nice if you fathered a child with me?"

At the mention of that, Souji smiled fondly at the recent memory as he paused washing the dishes. "Children, huh?" he said as he put down the plate in his hand. "Have you thought about having children yet?"

"Not really. I honestly haven't thought too much about the future yet."

"But other than it being a woman's job to bear children, you actually want children, right?" he asked, sounding hopeful.

"Yes, at least a boy and a girl." I answered honestly.

"Well then, if you want a child and Kondou-san wants a grandchild from us, then shouldn't we start trying as soon as possible?" he asked with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "I'd hate to disappoint, so let's ignore the rule that Hijikata-san came up with."

Oh, he was trying so hard right now to get me to ignore the rule right now. I thought it was kind of cute. But instead of going along with him, I flicked some water from the tub at him. "Nice try." I said with a wink.

He pouted at me again before he reached out and tried to grab me around the waist. I danced out of his reach before his arms could enclose around me this time and skipped to the door. He looked at me with a confused expression when I did not return to his side to finish washing the dishes.

"Thanks for offering to finish the dishes for me." I said teasingly.

"Eh? When did I offer to do the dishes for you?"

"Just now."

"I'll get you for this when I catch you after I finish with the dishes." he threatened jokingly.

"You mean if you catch me." I corrected him.

"Oh? Is that a challenge?"

"Maybe… If you can catch me before lunchtime, I'll do anything you want."

Souji grinned wolfishly at my challenge. "Anything?"

"Anything." I confirmed before quickly vanishing out the door.

I immediately headed over to the room Hijikata-san was working in to help with the accounting. Souji wouldn't dare to try to come near me when I'm with Hijikata-san after this morning's talk. Despite Souji's love for annoying and disobeying Hijikata-san, Souji was a bit afraid that Hijikata-san would make good on his threat from this morning to cut off a certain something if he came too close to me. Souji spent the rest of the morning glaring at Hijikata-san from outside the room. He was probably hoping that his glare would vaporize Hijikata-san so that he could enter the room and steal me away. I playfully stuck out my tongue at him when morning turned into noon. Souji shot me a look of displeasure when he realized that he lost my challenge.

* * *

"Awesome!" Heisuke exclaimed. "Too cool!" He quickly pulled a light blue haori[2] from one of the wooden boxes and held it up to admire it.

"So that's our new uniform, eh?" Shinpachi-san said just as enthusiastically.

"Yeah!" Otou-san confirmed with the same amount of enthusiasm.

"In order to spread the Roshigumi's name throughout Kyoto, Serizawa-sensei had these made with the money that was collected in Osaka." Niimi explained egotistically as he jutted out his chin with pride.

With the money that was collected in Osaka? I just checked our accounting books earlier and I didn't see any money missing from the funds. Did Serizawa pay for the uniforms with his own money? That was…uncharacteristically kind of him, unless this was done to for his own benefit…

"Hey, let's go ahead and try'em on!" Heisuke said excitedly.

"Would that be okay, Serizawa-san?" asked Otou-san.

"Sure, go ahead! Try them on"

"Sweet!" Heisuke said while spinning around with the new uniform clutched to his chest. "Gen-san, get the scissors! The scissors! We gotta cut off the tacking thread!"

"Just a moment." said Inoue-san.

"Hurry! Hurry!" Heisuke exclaimed impatiently like a child while bouncing around.

"I'll cut it for you, so sit still for a moment!" Inoue-san scolded Heisuke when he wouldn't stop fidgeting.

"Mine too!" added Shinpachi-san as he ran up to Inoue-san with his own uniform

However, Sano-san, Saito-san and Souji picked up their new haori a bit more reluctantly than Heisuke and Shinpachi-san and were now examining the new uniforms with a critical eye.

"Sano-san, what do you think of these haori?" asked Souji.

"I think they're a bit flashy…" Sano-san answered while examining the haori. "Right, Saito?"

"You have a point." said Saito-san.

To clear things up, Hijikata-san approached the three hesitant men and explained, "This is one way to spread word about the Roshigumi throughout Kyoto. Besides, if we're all in the same uniform when we go on patrol, no one will confuse us with those rogue samurai and it also prevents us from accidentally cutting down one of our own."

"Makes sense." Sano-san agreed before he tried his new uniform on.

Approaching Souji, I reached over and plucked the blue haori from his hands. "Turn around. I'll help you put it on." I offered.

Souji did as I asked and I helped him put on his new uniform. "So, how do I look?" he asked.

"Incredibly dashing." I said with a small, coy smile. Souji grinned back at me before shooting me a quick wink.

"Serizawa-san," Otou-san called over to Serizawa, "do you have a moment?"

"Henceforth, we may receive numerous opportunities to guard Aizu's elite." stated Sannan-san. "In which case, recruiting more men will be a matter of great urgency."

"Hmph!" Niimi said a tad bit snobbishly. "We already thought of that and came up with a plan to—"

Niimi was interrupted from his bragging when Serizawa raised his hand to signal Niimi to shut up. That was suspicious. What were those two hiding? Serizawa stepped forward and grabbed a haori from one of the boxes.

"As long as we sell the Roshigumi's name, soldiers will come flocking to us." claimed Serizawa. "That's what these uniforms are for." the man said before tossing the haori he was holding up to Hijikata-san. "Hijikata!"

Hijikata-san caught the haori with a smirk. Complete with an iron headband, all the guys followed Hijikata-san outside in their new uniforms.

"Alright guys! Let's go!" Hijikata-san said loudly with authority before putting on his own uniform. And so the guys left the headquarters in their new uniforms for their first official patrol of the city.

* * *

What was taking so long? About a week after the men received their new uniforms, Serizawa and Niimi called Otou-san, Hijikata-san, and Sannan-san in for a meeting regarding an unknown topic. All the guys, me, and Ibuki-kun were now waiting in the main hall for the results of the meeting. The meeting started right after lunch and was still going on now, long after the sun had already set.

"They're taking forever…" Heisuke commented. "Whatcha think Kondou-san and the others are talkin' about?"

"Orders from the Shogunate, eh?" Shinpachi-san said with crossed arms. "This smells fishy."

"Why would the Shogunate have orders for us?" I asked. "The Roshigumi hasn't made a name for itself yet, so why would the Shogunate give orders to us, let alone acknowledge us? I get the feeling that the Shogunate is just going to use the Roshigumi for some dirty jobs."

"We'll be fine." Inoue-san said, trying to ease our doubts. "We have Isami-san and Toshi-san. I doubt things will turn out poorly."

"We should leave this in their hands." Saito-san said calmly.

"Ibuki-kun," Souji then said mockingly, "shouldn't you be massaging Serizawa-san's shoulders?"

"He told me to stay here until they are finished talking." Ibuki-kun said forcefully, unamused by Souji.

"UGAHHHWAWAH!" a loud pained scream suddenly pierced through the night.

What the hell was that?! That scream sounded like it came from within the headquarters, near the Maekawa house. We all looked at each other before grabbing our weapons and heading towards the source of that scream. I gripped my naginata tightly as I followed the guys. I couldn't shake the ominous feeling that was pooling in my stomach, something was wrong.

* * *

[1] A traditional Japanese pillow filled with buckwheat hulls.

[2] A hip- or thigh-length kimono-like jacket, which adds formality to an outfit. Haori were originally worn only by men, until it became a fashion for women in the Meiji period. They are now worn by both men and women. Men's haori are typically shorter than women's. The jinbaori (陣羽織) was specifically made for armoured samurai to wear.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

"While one may encounter many defeats, one must not be defeated." ― Maya Angelou

"What was with that scream?" Heisuke yelled as we all ran towards the source of that scream.

"Somethin' serious is goin' down!" said Shinpachi-san as he ran right behind Heisuke.

Heisuke and Shinpachi-san came to a stop in front of the closed gate of the Maekawa house before trying to push the gate open, but the doors refused to budge. The doors were locked. Why? What was going on behind those doors? All the highest positioned leaders of the Roshigumi were at the Maekawa house for the meeting. Maybe they had something to do with that scream? I seriously hoped that the Big Three had nothing to do with that spine-chilling scream.

"Get those doors open!" I yelled. We had to get in!

"Huh?" Heisuke exclaimed with a strained voice when he pushed on the door again.

"What's wrong?" Shinpachi-san asked from behind Heisuke.

"It still won't open!" Heisuke yelled back as he continued to pound on the door with his fist.

"Damn, what's happening to him?!" a voice called from over the walls. "Toshi! Sannan-kun! Don't let him get out!"

That was Otou-san's voice! What the hell was going on behind those walls?! We needed to get in there and deal with the situation at once.

"Shinpachi-san, smash those doors open!" I yelled. "We need to get in there right now!"

"Move, Heisuke!" Shinpachi-san pushed Heisuke out of the way before kicking the doors off their hinges and rushing in to the Maekawa compound. Heisuke and Souji followed Shinpachi-san closely as they rushed into the compound too.

"Gen-san, look after things here." Saito-san ordered calmly.

"Yeah." Gen-san answered.

"Sano, Shizuka, secure the front." Saito-san finished before running in after the others.

Ibuki-kun, who came along with all of us when we started running towards the Maekawa house, grit his teeth when he did not receive any orders and began making his way pass the gate.

"Ibuki-kun!" exclaimed Gen-san.

"You'll only get in our way if you tag along." Souji said bluntly to Ibuki-kun.

Souji had paused after entering the Maekawa estate to wait for Saito-san. As soon as Saito-san ran through the gate, both men ran inside the main building together.

"W-What was that?!" Ibuki-kun yelled back angrily.

As Ibuki-kun was about to resume his previous action, Sano-san grabbed Ibuki-kun's shoulder and shook his head at him, stopping Ibuki-kun from going any further.

"We can't focus on our objective if we have to protect you too." I said seriously. "If you cannot draw your blade even when you're threatened then you have no business being here."

We would put ourselves at a disadvantage if we allowed Ibuki-kun to come along. He couldn't fight or defend himself, useless dead weight and very dangerous to have around if a fight was going to break out. After I said my piece, I ran through the gate and around the main building to the front. Sano-san followed in after me and, despite what I said earlier, Ibuki-kun followed us onto the Maekawa estate. Gen-san remained at the gate as Saito-san instructed.

As Sano-san and I arrived at our destination, we could hear fighting inside the main building. Sano-san and I glanced at each other before getting into our battle-ready positions. Ibuki-kun watched both of us nervously from behind before gripping the handle of his katana with unease.

"What are you doing here?!" I yelled back harshly at Ibuki-kun, causing him to jump slightly.

Why the hell didn't he listen to what I said earlier?! We didn't have time to deal with his shit right now. He was a liability on the battlefield and he needed to leave. There was no guarantee that Sano-san and I could protect him if we were attacked by whoever was fighting the others inside the building right now. Ibuki-kun flinched at the tone of my voice.

"If you lack the resolve to kill someone when you draw that, get out of here!" Sano-san agreed with me firmly.

As soon as Sano-san finished speaking, the front door of the house was smashed open by Shinpachi-san's back as he was forcefully thrown at the door. Shinpachi-san landed on his back on the ground right in front of us.

"Shinpachi!" Sano-san yelled in worry for his friend.

Shinpachi-san, who was bruised pretty badly, didn't say anything as he struggled to get back up on his feet. An animalistic sound was coming closer to our position. Whatever threw Shinpachi-san against the door like that was just on the other side of the doorway. Sano-san and I quickly positioned ourselves in front of Shinpachi-san when it was revealed that Shinpachi-san wouldn't be standing up again before our opponent arrived.

"Shizuka!" Sano-san yelled to me. "I'll take the left and you take the right! When it comes out, we'll immobilize it!"

"Aim for the tendons." I replied as I tightened my focus. "If we cut the tendons, then our opponent won't be able to fight back, much less move."

"Be careful, Sano, Shizuka!" I heard Saito-san yell towards us from another opening in the building.

"There's something weird about him!" Souji warned as he came around the corner.

I tightened my grip on my weapon. If Souji and Saito-san couldn't take down whatever was inside and if Shinpachi-san was tossed around like a ragdoll, then this opponent must have been extremely strong. Souji, Saito-san, and Shinpachi-san were definitely no pushovers when it came to fighting and were some of the strongest men I knew. Just who or what was this opponent?

A few milliseconds after we received the warning, a white-haired man leapt out of the darkness of the building and raised his sword to strike out at us. Sano-san deflected the blow with his spear and while the man was still mid-flight from his leap, I used my naginata to knock him away. The man landed on his feet a few feet back and Sano-san stabbed the man in the left arm while I slashed him in the back of his right leg, effectively severing his right lateral hamstring tendons.

…

…

…

Something wasn't right. The man wasn't screaming in pain from his injuries nor did he collapse when I slashed at his leg. It should have been impossible that the man was still standing. The tendons attaching his hamstrings to his bones had been severed; his leg should have been unable to support him anymore, so how was he still standing?

The man grabbed Sano-san's spear and began to laugh. I quickly examined the wound I inflicted on the man and I saw that it was no longer there! I knew that I had cut him and there was blood around the area where his wound was to prove that he was injured! How did it disappear? If this man instantly healed then there was no way he was a normal human or even a human at all! I should have noticed it before! The speed and the strength he possessed were inhuman; the unnatural snow white hair with the glowing red eyes, along with the animalistic growling from earlier all told me that he was no ordinary human.

This creature also showed in his attack earlier that it showed no rational thought. No sane living creature would rush at danger without a thought and then laugh when horribly injured. It hurt to be stabbed by a blade of any sort. It also seemed to show no real sense of self-preservation either. While its attack earlier was incredibly fast and strong, it had no logical strategy. I quickly leapt backwards near Ibuki-kun after quickly processing my thoughts.

"Get back! Your attack had no effect on it!" I yelled at Sano-san, but it was too late.

After grabbing Sano-san's spear, the thing picked Sano-san off the ground and tossed him to the side near Shinpachi-san.

"Sano-san!" Heisuke yelled as he emerged from the building.

The creature then pulled the spear out of his arm and tossed it to the floor. This was then, in the moonlight, we all saw the creature's wound close and heal immediately. That bastard could regenerate! No wonder everyone was having such a difficult time fighting this thing. It was unhampered by pain, it could instantly regenerate, and it behaved differently from a typical human being. This thing was far too different from the other opponents the guys had faced in the past.

"The injury—!" Sano-san said in shock as everyone's eyes widened at the phenomenon.

After dropping Sano-san's spear on the ground, the creature turned and focused its attention on Ibuki-kun. However, instead of running, Ibuki-kun quickly drew his sword. That fool! There was no way he stood a chance.

"Run for it, Ryunosuke!" Sano-san yelled as Souji, Saito-san, and Heisuke ran forward to try and stop the creature.

I readied my weapon once more and positioned myself in front of Ibuki-kun. If that thing could regenerate then I would have to be able to make sure that it wouldn't get the chance to regenerate, I would have to strike to kill in one hit.

It was true that I despised the act of killing, but this was different. This thing was threatening my family. I would gladly commit a crime I hated if that meant I could keep the ones I loved safe. I will not hesitate if I could protect my family.

As the thing leapt towards me and Ibuki-kun with uncontrolled force and speed, I held my naginata firmly and aimed my weapon towards its throat. My grip on my weapon had to be steadfast if I wanted to hit where I was aiming. I most likely only had one chance to strike. This creature was faster and stronger than me, but its fatal weakness was that it held no reasoning abilities. The winner of a battle was not always the fastest or the strongest, but the winner was usually the one that could outwit and outmaneuver the opponent. Using the creature's own momentum, I held my weapon in one place and allowed the creature to impale itself on my weapon. My blade pierced all the way through the creature's neck, between the C3 and C4 vertebrae, and I left my weapon in the stab wound to prevent that thing from regenerating. No matter how amazing a creature's regenerating ability is, there would be no way for the wound to heal if there was an obstruction in the wound.

Most people believed the only way to ensure near instant death in one blow was to stab the heart or cut off the head, but that is not the case. The nerves protected in the spine between the C3, C4, and C5 vertebrae were the nerves that controlled the diaphragm, the muscle that controls the lungs. When the nerves in those locations are damaged, the diaphragm will no longer be able to receive signals from the brain and the diaphragm would cease to move. Again, it did not matter how amazing one's regenerative ability was, if the body did not receive any oxygen then it would die. Dying from a lack of oxygen was very different from dying from injuries. There would be nothing to regenerate.

When the creature grew limp and ceased all movements, I pulled my weapon out and let the body fall to the ground before quickly stabbing it in the heart for good measure. I wasn't about to wait for it to move again if it wasn't dead yet. A friend from my past life once said, "If you don't hit your adversaries while they're down, they might get up again." Granted, he may have gotten it from a card game he played, but it was still a good concept that I could apply here.

"Quick, get away from him, Shizuka! He can—" Sano-san yelled towards me before I interrupted him.

"He won't be able to heal up and attack again if he's dead. Take a closer look, he isn't breathing and the wounds aren't regenerating."

"She's right." a voice came from around the building. Hijikata-san arrived on the scene with Sannan-san and Otou-san.

"Supposedly you can kill it by piercing its heart or beheading it." said Sannan-san.

…So they were involved with this creature and its scream we heard earlier. They wouldn't know this information if they weren't involved.

"Is everyone uninjured?" Otou-san asked as he quickly surveyed each of us.

"Kondou-san!" Souji said, relieved to see Otou-san uninjured.

"Are you alright?" Saito-san asked the three superior officers. Hijikata-san nodded back at Saito-san.

"We're all fine." I answered Otou-san's question as I helped Sano-san pull Shinpachi-san to his feet. "A few of us are pretty bruised, but it's nothing some rest and time won't fix."

"Dang, what the heck was that?" Shinpachi-san asked as he held his bruised abdomen.

Instead of answering Shinpachi-san, Hijikata-san turned to Ibuki-kun with a sharp look. Ibuki-kun still had his sword drawn in front of him and was shaking like a leaf. In less delicate terms, he looked like he was about to shit himself.

"If you lack any real resolve, don't waltz onto a battlefield." Hijikata-san harshly scolded Ibuki-kun. "Shizuka is the weakest one out of all of us here and you made her protect you. If she didn't have such a good head on her shoulders then she would have been killed and you responsible for her death."

Ibuki-kun did not take Hijikata-san's scolding very well and looked down in shame while grinding his teeth. Everyone else circled around the corpse and observed Sannan-san as he surveyed the corpse.

"I've seen that face before." Sano-san said after scrutinizing the corpse.

"Saito, Harada!" Hijikata-san called. "Sorry, but I need you to carry him inside."

"'kay."

"Very well." both replied as they prepare to carry the corpse inside.

"Everyone, please gather in the hall. We need to talk." Hijikata-san said to the rest of us before turning back to Ibuki-kun. "That includes you, Ibuki."

"Huh?" said Ibuki-kun as he jumped in surprise at Hijikata-san's orders.

"You saw him." Hijikata-san explained seriously.

Serizawa, Niimi, and a bald man that I had never seen before, shortly joined us before we all started walking towards the hall.

* * *

We all sat in the main hall as the bald man, whose name was Yukimura Kodo, explained to us what had happened earlier. A small, capped jar of a bloodlike fluid was place in front of him.

"The Bakufu obtained this through foreign trade." Yukimura explained. "This medicine is called the 'Water of Life'. If you drink this, your abilities in battle will substantially increase. At the same time, you will obtain remarkable healing abilities. But on the other hand, you will lose the power of thought and your sanity."

"Meaning that it isn't full of nothing but perks, eh?" said Serizawa.

"What an ill-named creation." I commented. "You don't only lose the power of thought and sanity, but you die faster too. In the body, a healthy, normal cell can only multiply a certain amount of times before it dies. In order to regenerate at such a rapid speed, the drinker's cells will have to multiply at an increased speed to heal the injury, causing the cells to die at a much faster pace. When enough of the cells in the body die, there will be no longer be enough cells left for the body to function properly. Thus, premature death is imminent. The name 'Psycho Serum' would fit it better."

"Indeed. To top it off, they can only exercise those powers in the dark. We call those who drink the medicine and exhibit these powers 'rasetsu." Yukimura continued to explain.

"The way he looked…" said Shinpachi-san as he contemplated the information. "He certainly looked like a rasetsu."

Sano-san, who was seated next to Shinpachi-san, looked like he was thinking on that information too before his face lit up in what appeared to be realization.

"I remember!" Sano-san suddenly exclaimed. "That was Iesato!"

"That's right." Hijikata-san said while closing his eyes in guilt.

"Iesato…?" Heisuke asked. His face froze in horror when he remembered before yelling, "Wasn't he one of the guys who left Edo with us?"

"You used one of our pals to test out some crazy medicine?!" Shinpachi-san yelled out in outrage. Otou-san lowered his gaze with guilt and regret at the outburst.

"He was supposed to slice open his gut for breaking the code." said Niimi. "It's the same punishment."

"That's no excuse!" Shinpachi-san yelled as he rejected the explanation.

"He didn't get to die by seppuku!" Serizawa finally said with an annoyed tone. "That's the only difference!"

"No that's not." I objected. "The end result of his death is the same, but the impact of his death on the living changes with how he died. Each action taken sends ripples through out time and space and affects each person differently. Because of how inhumanely he died, you will find little support for following the Bakufu's orders in experimenting on this 'Water of life'. Furthermore, there shouldn't be any experiments done on human lives in the first place. Playing God with a substance we barely understand will come back and bite us in the ass one day."

"What Shizuka said is true." Hijikata-san said tiredly. "Serizawa-san, I am against experimenting with this medicine. When Iesato became a rasetsu, he didn't recognize us at all!"

"I am of like mind." Otou-san immediately agreed too.

"But according to Yukimura-dono, there is still plenty of room for improvement." Niimi said, still in support for testing out the Water of Life.

Angered by what Niimi said, Hijikata-san yelled back, "And to test it out, you'd have to experiment on another person again!"

"The Shogunate ordered us to do this!" Niimi argued back.

"There's no reason to obey an unreasonable order."

Just as Niimi was about to lose the argument to Hijikata-san, Serizawa spoke up. His words were aimed at Hijikata-san's weak spot.

"Generally, warriors consider obeying orders from the Shogunate to be virtuous, even if they are unreasonable orders."

"Serizawa-san, you…!"

"Although I don't expect one not born into a warrior family to understand."

"What was that?!" Hijikata-san yelled back at Serizawa angrily.

"Toshi!" Otou-san said to stop the ongoing argument.

"Considering our current standing," Sannan-san reasoned, "we cannot ignore the will of the Shogunate."

"Sannan-san…" Hijikata-san said, completely aghast.

"However, if there is still room for improvement, I feel it wise for Niimi-san to step down from his position as chief and concentrate on his research so that there is not a repeat of what just happened." Sannan-san suggested.

"What!?" Niimi exclaimed. He clearly didn't want to lose his high position of power. "T-That's absurd! I-I could never step down—"

"Very well." Serizawa interrupted Niimi's protests with an agreement to Sannan-san's suggestions.

"S-Serizawa-sensei!" Niimi exclaimed before he was quickly silenced by Serizawa's icy glare. "V-very well."

Sannan-san smiled and said, "Then Niimi-san and Kodo-san will conduct experiments on the medicine. I shall offer you my assistance. Shizuka-chan's medical expertise may also come into use."

Well that was kind of Sannan-san to throw me into the fire like that. He knew I disapproved of the experiments, but at the same time he also knew how much I mistrusted Serizawa and Niimi. Sannan-san was offering me a chance to personally keep an eye on Niimi. I wouldn't let this chance go to waste. I could keep an eye on Niimi and sabotage the Water of Life at the same time—

"No, she will not be offering anything." said Serizawa. "She is not officially a part of the Roshigumi, which brings up the question: why is she even here in the first place? She needs to leave."

"Ah! Well you see, she's our physician." Otou-san reasoned. "She may not officially be a part of the Roshigumi, but she is very much needed here."

"No, she's not as needed here as much as you say she is." Serizawa argued back. "Kodo-san is a westernWestern trained doctor ordered here by the Bakufu. He can replace her."

"Ah, but Shizu-chan is my daughter and I would like to keep her under my care." Otou-san said as he struggled to protect me from being forced to leave.

At Otou-san's words, Serizawa smirked. "She's not your daughter by blood. You found her abandoned as a baby, didn't you?"

Otou-san was shocked into silence when the secret was revealed. My nails cut into the palm of my hand when Serizawa announced his discovery. Only few people knew of my true origins. Other than Otou-san; Hijikata-san, Souji, and Tsune-san were the only ones that knew about my abandonment.

"What?!" exclaimed Heisuke, "Shizuka isn't your daughter by blood, Kondou-san?!"

"Heh!" Serizawa said triumphantly. "She's lower than a farmer's daughter! She's an unwanted girl that should have died the day she was abandoned. She is also a young unmarried woman living with a group of unmarried men. A young unmarried woman is a distraction to all possible recruits and there should be a proper example set for the recruits. No woman should be allowed here without an actual blood relation or husband in the Roshigumi. She is a distraction and will give the recruits reason to undermine their superiors' authority. She needs to leave."

Otou-san was at a loss for words. Shit. What was I going to do now? There had to be some way I could stay, anything—

"While she isn't Kondou-san's daughter by blood and is still unmarried, she is going to be my wife." said Souji as he leapt into the intense conversation. "You won't have any complaints if she's married to a member of the Roshigumi, right?"

Wait… Wife?! I quickly turned my head and stared at Souji in shock. His defiant look he carried on his face told me that he was serious about making me his wife. Otou-san seemed to be as equally shocked as I was, but he also seemed extremely relieved. What a development this was.

"Oh? When are you two getting married then?" Serizawa asked with amusement.

"In a week, there's no point in sending Shizuka away just to bring her back after one week, is there?" challenged Souji.

"No there isn't." Serizawa agreed before he turned to face me with a smirk. "You better be careful with the way you behave as his wife. He'll be responsible for every action you take, so best be careful not to do anything that will force him to perform seppuku. That includes going out to raise money without a superior's permission. If you do so, it will be under your husband's name. It will make it so that he's the one breaking the Code of Conduct. Kondou-kun may have allowed you to go procure funds, but I won't. You need my permission now too."

I narrowed my eyes at Serizawa. That was well played. When he could not remove me from the Roshigumi, he restricted the amount of actions I could take. I could not continue my original plan to dispose of Serizawa without putting Souji in danger, but Serizawa made a fatal mistake. He thought he could stop my plan from succeeding by restricting my movements alone. I was not someone without allies. If I was ever unable to complete my plan, Kyoko-chan was to take over for me. I may now be unable to personally continue with my plan to dispose of Serizawa, but that did not mean my plan would cease to continue to work.

"Well I'm sure you two have plenty to talk about now." Serizawa said smugly. "I'll leave to give you two some privacy."

Serizawa left the main hall with Niimi and Yukimura following after him. An awkward silence filled the main hall before Otou-san spoke seriously, "Everyone is dismissed. Souji, Shizuka, stay here. I need to talk to the both of you privately."

"Wait!" Shinpachi-san said. "Is what Serizawa-san said true?" Is Shizuka-chan really not your blood daughter?"

Otou-san looked away and Hijikata-san shook his head at Shinpachi-san to silence him. Hijikata-san then slowly ushered everyone out of the main hall leaving Souji, Otou-san and I alone together. Souji stood up from his seat and walk to the back of the room where I was seated. He took me by the hand and led me closer to where Otou-san was seated before sitting both of us down directly in front of Otou-san.

"I knew one day that the both of you would get married, but I had hoped it would have been a more joyous occasion." Otou-san said sorrowfully. "It happened this way because of my inability to protect Shizu-chan… Are you sure this is what you want Souji?"

Souji tightened his grip around my hand. "Yes, Kondou-san. I already decided on Shizuka a long time ago." he answered without a hint of doubt

"I see. Then I offer you one of my greatest treasures. Please protect her when I cannot."

"I promise I will." Souji said before pressing a kiss onto my forehead.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

"I know what it is to live entirely for and with what I love best on earth. I hold myself supremely blest—blest beyond what language can express; because I am my husband's life as fully as he is mine."― Charlotte Brontë, _Jane Eyre_

Souji smiled gently down at me after his lips left my forehead and I couldn't help but return his smile. He was always so thoughtful and gentle with me. To him, I was special and loved. Despite the circumstances of my spontaneous engagement, I found that it was impossible to be upset with the recent developments. The way that Souji jumped in to protect me from being forced away spoke loudly to me. It would be impossible for me not to love and adore him more for his actions.

"What do we do next?" I asked Otou-san with a puzzled expression. Marriage was completely new territory to me and I felt a bit lost when it came to taking the next steps.

"Well… The wedding's in a week…so…" Otou-san mumbled quietly as he pondered his thoughts. "How are we going to plan this wedding? We can't do a traditional yome-iri…"

That was true. A yome-iri wasn't going to work with me and Souji. A yome-iri was the typical wedding ceremony in the Tokugawa era and was quite different from the Western weddings I was so accustom to. This wedding ceremony was also very different from the modern day traditional Japanese wedding. In a yome-iri, the ceremony began on the groom's side. There would be a long procession formed by the groom and his family to go visit the bride's house. The groom's side would carry a barrel of saké and gifts to the bride's house and when they arrived at the bride's house, the bride-giving side would be waiting to host a banquet for the bride-receiving group. The two groups would then be introduced to each other and the presentation of gifts and the serving of the saké from the groom's side would then occur. After the banquet at the bride's house, another long procession would be formed, but this time with both parties heading to the groom's house. The bride's family would bring with them to the groom's house a barrel of saké, gifts, and a nagamochi. When the procession arrived, the groom's house another banquet would begin. The bride's side would serve the saké they brought and present the groom's family with gifts that were brought. When the banquet ended, the marriage ceremony would be completed and the, now, newlywed couple would go consummate the marriage.

A yome-iri would have been impractical for Souji and me because we already lived together. Furthermore, Souji's family now only consisted of his elder sisters' families. Souji was estranged from his eldest sister, Mitsu, and he lost contact with his second elder sister, Kin. Besides, it wasn't like Souji still lived with any of his sisters, Mitsu had left Souji in the care of Otou-san. No, the typical yome-iri was not going to work, so we were probably going to have to do a Shinto wedding ceremony at a temple.

The Shinto wedding was attended by the couple's closest kin and held at a temple. In this wedding ceremony, the highlight is when the couple drinks sake from the same cup, which is a traditional expression of taking an oath. One by one, three cups were to be passed between the bride and groom. Both the bride and the groom would take three sips from each cup, representing the taking of an oath three times by three sips. The ceremony of taking three sips per each three cups was known as the san-san-kudo, meaning the taking of an oath nine times.

"We would have to do a Shinto wedding." Souji suggested to Otou-san as Otou-san began to look strained from his thinking.

"AH! I forgot about that!" Otou-san exclaimed as if a lightbulb turned on in his head. "I'll run to a temple first thing tomorrow morning to arrange a time for the wedding. You two can leave now. I'm sure you two have some things to discuss."

"Okay." I nodded.

After Souji and I bid Otou-san a good night, Souji took me by the hand and led me to his room so he could speak to me in private.

"So what did you do to make Serizawa-san lash out at you like that?" he asked me. There was no anger in the question, just curiosity. "However, I get the distinct feeling that I already know…"

"Remember when we first arrived in Kyoto?" I asked while playing with his hands. "That talk we had about antagonizing Serizawa?"

Souji frowned at me before letting out a tired sigh. "Yeah, I remember. I also distinctly remember asking you to tell me when you were going to start. You know that he's a dangerous man. Care to tell me why you neglected to tell me?"

I dropped Souji's hand and averted my gaze to avoid his disappointed gaze. "I wasn't merely pestering Serizawa out of pure dislike. I had a plan to remove him from the Roshigumi. If he found out that you or anyone else was involved… I didn't tell you just in case Serizawa retaliated. I didn't want anyone else to suffer or get caught in the crossfire if he decided to get rid of me." I mumbled quietly.

"I figured as much." Souji commented before he cupped my face to keep me from averting my gaze again. "So, tell me what your plan was? It can't hurt now that Serizawa put a stop to it by limiting your freedom."

"You know how the Roshigumi doesn't really have sufficient funds to run by itself yet, right?" I asked. "Well, I was planning to outcompete Serizawa in fundraising with a nonviolent method so that we didn't have to depend on him. Then when he no longer had the advantage of being useful in that way, I was going to spread harmful rumors about him while he continued to behave poorly. This way he would just become a useless troublemaker. To save face from Serizawa's disgraceful actions, Aizu would order his disposal."

"I see… Too bad your plan was put to a halt." Souji said. "It would have been nice if you succeeded. That way Kondou-san would be the sole commander of the Roshigumi."

I smiled slyly at his assumption. Just like Serizawa, Souji believed that my plan had been stopped since my freedom had been limited.

"What?" Souji asked as he caught my smile.

"My plan is still going to succeed. Just because he stopped my movements doesn't mean he stopped my plan. Kyoko-chan is an amazing person, don't you think?"

"Ha! No wonder Serizawa-san wanted to get rid of you so badly." he said with a proud grin before his expression softened as he stroked my cheek softly. "Despite being unhappy at Serizawa-san attempted removal of you, I'm also glad that he caught you. Because of him, you're going to be my wife, my family now."

My expression softened at Souji's last sentence. I knew that after his sister left him at Otou-san's dojo, he had been longing for an actual family, not just close friends to fill that empty space in his heart. His relationship to Otou-san may have filled the empty space fairly well, but it did not fill it completely. Serizawa may have been a complete bastard that I would hate for all eternality, but I could thank him for being the catalyst for my marriage to Souji.

"I was already yours long before this." I corrected him as I leaned in closer to him. "I would ha—" I was cut off when Souji swooped in and planted his lips firmly on mine.

* * *

I was jolted awake when someone jumped onto my futon and nearly crushed the air out of me early, early, early in the morning.

"Get up! We have so much to talk about!" I heard Kyoko-chan's hushed, cheerful voice before she started shaking me awake. I grumbled before I rolled over and pulled my blanket over my head.

…Wait… What was Kyoko-chan doing here and why so early in the morning? I immediately shot up into sitting position. Kyoko-chan froze comically at my sudden action.

"What are you doing here so early in the morning? No one sane wakes up at this hour! Furthermore, how did you even get in?" I asked.

Seriously, it was only the Hour of the Ox. If translated into westernWestern time then it would be around 3:00 a.m. in the morning. And I was pretty sure the front gates were locked at this hour.

"Your otou-san came to ask my chichi to help book a time slot at a temple last night. You're getting married at the end of this week! I couldn't wait until the sun came up, so you have to tell me all the juicy details now!" she exclaimed excitedly as she took me by my shoulders and shook me.

"You still haven't told me how you got in yet. I'm pretty sure the front gates are locked." I pointed out bluntly as I ignored what she wanted from me.

"Oh! I climbed over the walls." she said nonchalantly as she paused shaking me while answering. She resumed the shaking after she answered my question.

What? CLIMBED over the WALLS? In the kimono she was wearing and without making any sound? Should I? Nope I'm not going to ask. Somethings are better off being unknown.

"So how did the engagement happen? Why are you getting married so fast? You're getting married before I do and my marriage was arranged when I was eleven! Tell meeeeeee!" she hounded.

"Long story short, Serizawa caught on to my plan and tried to force me to leave. Souji jumped in and said that he would marry me, thus protecting me from being forced away"

"So he protected you? That's so romantic!" she gushed. Her reaction was over the top…well, she is a romantic at heart. "So how did he jump in? Did he—"

"Who are you talking to Shizuka?" Hijikata-san's voice called in from outside. Without asking for my permission first, he slid my door open and froze in shock when he spotted Kyoko-chan. "You! How did you get in?!"

"Why does everyone ask me that?" Kyoko-chan asked in annoyance. Like she didn't understand why! It was totally unnatural for anyone to just pop up out of nowhere like her! "I just climbed over the walls." she said before turning to me again. "So did he—"

"What do you mean you 'just climbed over the walls'?! How the hell did you do that in a kimono without making any noise?!" Hijikata-san yelled out of irritation.

"Stop interrupting me!" Kyoko-chan complained just as loudly. "Plus you're too loud! You'll wake everyone up!"

"What's with all the yelling?" I heard Heisuke's voice ask as he approached the scene. "We're all supposed to be sleep— EH?! What are you doing here Kyoko-chan?!"

"Don't bother asking, you'll never get a straight answer out of her." I finally said exasperatedly. "Hijikata-san, Heisuke, if you guys are going to stay and talk then come in. Don't clutter up the hallway."

Both men looked at each other before entering the room. Heisuke slid the door shut before sitting down next to Hijikata-san and in front of me and Kyoko-chan.

"SOOO, did he—" Kyoko-chan started again only to get interrupted once more.

"Shizuka-chan, was what Serizawa-san said true? Were you really abandoned as a baby?" asked Heisuke.

"Stop interrupt—wait, what?" Kyoko-chan said as she interrupted herself. "You were abandoned as a baby? I knew you were adopted, but you never told me that you were abandoned."

I looked away uncomfortably. There was a reason I never really told anyone. There was a stigma attached to abandoned babies and I didn't want anyone treating me differently. When Hijikata-san saw my unease he answered for me.

"Kondou-san found Shizuka as an infant abandoned in an old fishing boat that washed up on the riverbank when he was twelve. No one really knows what village she originally came from or even who her kaa-san is."

"Don't call that woman my haha[1]." I said as I bitterly glared at Hijikata-san. "She may have given birth to me, but she was no okaa-san. No real okaa-san would leave her child to die."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kyoko-chan asked, looking hurt. "I would have never treated you differently."

"I know..." I sighed stressfully as I averted my gaze. "I spent so long hiding my origins that it has just become instinct. I never meant to keep it from you. Same with you, Heisuke."

"Do you know why you were abandoned?" asked Heisuke before he was whacked on the head by Kyoko-chan. "OUCH!"

"Of course she doesn't! She was only an infant, so she wouldn't be able to remember!" Kyoko-chan scolded. "And you don't ask people these types of questions!"

"She abandoned me because I was a product of rape." All three of them froze when they heard my answer. "As strange and unnatural it is for me to be able to remember, I can. I even remember my own birth."

"Seriously?!" Hijikata-san exclaimed, stunned by the revelation.

I nodded. "The reason I'm so small is because the woman who gave birth to me was so distressed over her pregnancy that it resulted in premature labor. I was born a few weeks too early. After I was born, she never fed me regularly so I never grew properly. When she had enough of me, she placed me in an abandoned fishing boat and sent it down the river. Otou-san found me the next day."

"Does Kondou-san know everything you just said?" Hijikata-san asked after he had a moment to digest that information.

"No," I said, "only Souji knows everything."

After I finished explaining, I pulled my blanket over my head and laid back down on the futon. I was done talking about this sore subject.

"I'm going back to sleep." I mumbled from under my blanket. "Everyone go back and sleep."

However, instead of going home, Kyoko-chan nudged my side with her foot in a kicking motion.

"Ouch!" I cried despite feeling no pain.

"Move over. I'm staying here tonight." she declared before she began to continuously nudge me with her foot. "Move, move, move!"

"Ouch! Hey!" I protested as I scooted to the opposite side to avoid her foot.

Before I knew it, a space had opened up next to me and Kyoko-chan slipped in next to me in my futon.

"Don't just stand there!" she scolded to both Hijikata-san and Heisuke who just sat there flabbergasted at her behavior. "Go back to your rooms and sleep! Shoo!"

Both men scrambled to their feet and quickly left the room to avoid Kyoko-chan's wrath.

"So, I'm invited to the wedding, right?" she asked me to cheer me up by moving to a happier topic.

* * *

"You're so pretty!" Kyoko-chan exclaimed excitedly as she finished helping me put on my pure, white shiromuku[2]. "Souji-san won't be able to keep his hands off of you later."

"Really?" I asked doubtfully. I was just wearing white.

The shiromuku was an ensemble of an ivory-colored uchikake[3], with elaborate designs of cranes embroidered into it, worn over a pure white kimono. Perhaps she was talking about the symbolism being beautiful? White had long been regarded as a symbol of pureness, cleanness or virginity. White can also be dyed with any color, so the shiromuku also meant that a bride was ready to be dyed with the "color" of the groom and his family. This color was regarded as a sacred color, so it was believed that a shiromuku was suitable for the wedding ceremony held at sacred and religious places.

As Kyoko-chan helped me straighten out my kimono, I quickly readjusted my tsunokakushi to prevent it from becoming crooked. The tsunokakushi was something I found to be far more interesting than the shiromuku. The term tsunokakushi literally meant "hiding horns" and it symbolized how the bride would be kind and obedient to the husband. The idea of the horns come from the belief that wives grew horns like an oni whenever they were angry, selfish, or jealous. With the tsunokakushi straight, I quickly put on the wataboshi over the tsunokakushi. The wataboshi was a white, hood-like accessory that was to be worn over the tsunokakushi when I was outside to keep away dust and dirt.

"Shizu-chan? Can I come in?" Otou-san called in from the other side of the closed door.

"Yes." I called back as I turned around to face the door.

As soon as Otou-san slid the door open, he froze as his eyes landed on me and his grin became impossibly wider. While he was bursting with happiness and excitement before, those emotions now were nothing compared to what he was feeling now when he saw me all dressed up in my wedding attire. He was absolutely speechless.

"So," I said with a small smile as I twirled around for him to give him a good look and to give him time to regain his speech, "how do I look?"

"Beautiful…" Otou-san said near breathlessly as tears of joy sprang into the corners of his eyes. "It's only a pity that Tsune can't travel here with Tama-chan, but she did send you her best wishes. She would have loved to see you get married…"

I approached Otou-san after pulling a handkerchief from my sleeves and gave it to him so he could wipe away his tears. He took the handkerchief and wiped his eyes before he spoke again

"Everything's ready. Souji is already waiting for you in front of the entrance to the temple." Otou-san said after taking a deep breath and storing the used handkerchief in his own sleeve.

Otou-san offered me his hand after he spoke. I took his hand and allowed him to lead me to the front of the temple where Souji was waiting for me. When we arrived at our destination, Souji smiled brightly at me as he reached out his hand to take my hand from Otou-san's. I accepted his hand and he pulled me closer to him. I flushed slightly as I looked up at him. He looked really handsome dressed in formal wedding attire. He wore a solid black montsuki[4] accompanied by a pair of white striped hakama. Over the montsuki, he wore a black haori that possessed his family's crest stitched onto the back. His haori was loosely tied shut with a himo[5].

"Let's go." Souji said softly to me before we entered through the front of the temple together. Everyone else followed us in from behind.

Souji and I came to a stop when we arrived in front of the altar. To perform the first step of the wedding, everyone bowed towards the altar first to become purified symbolically. This was known as the shubatsu-no-gi. The attendees took their seats after shubatsu-no-gi was completed. The Shinto priest move to take his place for the norito-soujou. He turned towards the altar and spoke a ritual prayer that was used to invoke the gods and to report the marriage to the Emperor before he poured the sake into the three cups that was used for the san-san-roku. I took the first cup of saké and took the first sip before passing it to Souji.

After the san-san-roku was completed, we stepped closer to the altar for the seishi-soujou, which was the taking of the wedding vow. Speaking in a loud and audible voice, Souji read the vows while facing the altar:

"We make this marriage vow respectfully before the Hachiman deity.

We Souji and Shizuka are delighted to be able to make our vows on this great day  
and to become husband and wife through the blessing of the Hachiman deity.

We swear before the Hachiman deity to love and respect each other forever  
and to strive to bring our family prosperity.

Moreover, we swear never to veer from the true path of matrimony  
and to work to share the divine grace of the Hachiman deity by helping people and society."

After finishing the seishi-sojou, a miko then presented us with a sakura branch for us to place on the altar as an offering for the gods in the tamagushi-hairei. We took the branch and placed it on the altar before bowing twice then clapping twice. The completion of the seishi-souji marked the safe end of the marriage ritual. For the final part of the wedding, there was the shinzokuhai-no-gi, which literally meant drinking rice wine together. Everyone in the audience was passed small cups of saké. Drinking the saké together was usually used to strengthen the bond between the couple's relatives. It was a bit obsolete here because everyone in attendance was all originally close friends from Shieikan. No one here was actually related to anyone by blood, but we were all practically family anyways.

* * *

After arriving back at the Yagi house, a large banquet was started and quickly moved into full swing. The nice, strong saké was brought out near immediately and in an instant, the Idiot Trio dove right in without reserve. Before Souji and I could go to our room, Otou-san called Souji over to speak privately, leaving me to watch drunk people dance around alone.

"Shizuka," Souji whispered into my ear from behind after he returned from speaking with Otou-san, "it's time to go. The marriage needs to be consummated."

"Oh…" I mumbled quietly with a small blush.

Despite not being a virgin in my past life when I died, I was still one in this life and I was nervous this time. Would I live up to his expectations? What if I didn't? What would I do then? In my past life, I didn't really care if I lived up to my partner's expectations. But now, this was Souji. I wanted to be amazing for him.

"Hey," Souji said with a kind smile when he saw my blush. He placed his hand gently on my cheek, "there's no need to be so nervous. You already know that I think you're beautiful. You don't need to hide from me."

"That's not what I'm nervous about…"

"Are you worried about the bleeding?" he then asked. "The reason Kondou-san called me over earlier was to tell me what to expect. He would have called you over too, but he didn't know how to really explain this stuff to you…"

Oh, right… I forgot about that part. Despite the common belief that a woman always bled during her first time, that wasn't always true. According to common belief, a woman's hymen would be ripped during her first time and you could always tell if a woman was a virgin if she had an intact hymen. In reality, some women were born without hymens, like me in my past life. For a woman that was born with a hymen, there was no guarantee that the hymen would still be intact by the time she had sex for the first time. The hymen could have been ripped during exercise or could have been stretched so much that it wouldn't rip during intercourse anymore. For me in this life, I was born with a hymen and it was still intact and it hadn't stretched much. Unlike in my past life, I was going to bleed this time and that thought alone made me a bit more nervous.

Souji kissed my forehead when I fell silent and took me by the hand. "I'll be gentle. I promise." he said before he began leading me away from the banquet and to our room.

We came to a stop right outside our new room. I took a deep breath before I let out a long exhale. Souji just merely grinned at my actions before he opened the door and pulled me in.

"Like I said, no need to be so nervous." Souji said with an excited grin before he shut the door for privacy.

As soon as the door was shut, Souji quickly approached me again before his lips came crashing down onto mine as he pulled me into a fiery kiss. He sloppily plunged his tongue into my mouth as he wrapped an arm around my waist to bring me closer to him. With his free hand, Souji quickly pulled the tsunokakushi off my head along with the hair ordainments and dropped them on the floor before he rushed to undo my hair. After he undid my hair, he pulled back briefly for a breath of air before he resumed his kiss with more fervor. I nipped his lower lip gently as he impatiently pushed the uchikake off my shoulders. With the uchikake on the floor now, he moved his mouth to suck on the side of my neck.

"Souji…oh…" I murmured before gasping when his lips found a particularly sensitive spot on my neck.

Taking note of the change in my breathing pattern, Souji focused more of his attention on that sensitive spot as his hands began working on untying my kimono. As soon as the obi came loose, it quickly fell to the floor as my kimono fell open. Souji hurriedly pushed my kimono off my shoulders before speeding up as he worked on getting my juban[6] and hadajuban[7] off. When he untied my hadajuban after he had taken off my juban, it fell open and Souji pulled his face away from my neck before stepping back. Then with an unreadable expression on his face, he watched me as he pushed the white hadajuban off my shoulders to reveal my naked upper torso. With slow, gentle hands, Souji reached out to lightly run his hands down my naked sides, causing me to shiver, before his hands touched the hem of my white koshimaki. He raised his eyes to meet mine for a few, long seconds before he lowered his eyes onto the tie of the koshimaki. Then with one quick tug of the cord, my koshimaki came loose and fell to the floor, leaving me completely bare. He quickly kissed me once more before he picked me up and placed me on the futon. Shortly after, Souji quickly removed his clothing in a sloppy quick manner and tossed them on the floor. By the time he got to his hakama, I could already see a large bulge forming.

With all his clothing now on the floor with mine, Souji quickly crawled on top of me and grinned playfully at me when he felt me jump from feeling his erection pressed against my lower stomach. He gave me another quick kiss before focusing his attention on my breasts. He first gave them a quick squeeze before he lowered his mouth onto my right breast.

"Mmm! Souji!" I gasped loudly as my hips buckled forwards against him when he started to suckle. A warmth started to trickle and pool in my lower abdomen as he continued his administrations.

"Nmph!" he grunted when my hips rose and accidently rubbed against his erection, causing his mouth to release my nipple. "Shizuka…"

Then, using his mouth and hands, he began to wander all over my body as he slowly moved towards my nether regions, sucking and nipping me with his mouth as he moved along. When he got to my inner thigh, he pulled his face away so he could watch my face as he touched my core.

"Ah!" I gasped loudly.

My hips buckled up into his hands. Oh… I needed him now… I gasped one more time when he pushed a single finger into me.

"You're already wet…" he voiced his observations quietly with amazement, surprised how he could reduce me into a wet puddle so quickly.

Unwilling to only have Souji touch me, I quickly flipped him on his back before I settled myself on top of him.

"Shizuka?!—Mmmph!" he exclaimed before I muffled the rest of his sentence with a kiss.

I ran my hands slowly down his chest, tracing the outline of each muscle as I dragged my hands teasingly down towards his erection.

"Ohhh…" Souji groaned loudly when I reached his lower abdomen and cried out, "Shizuka!" when I lightly ran a single finger up his erection. Pre-cum came out of the tip of his member by the time I ran my finger back down his erection. Before I could do anything else, I was quickly flipped onto my back again.

"Don't make me finish before I've even entered you." Souji panted with a strained voice as a drop of sweat dripped down the side of his face.

"Then don't wait any longer." I said breathily. "I need you. Please?"

Souji nodded at me before he positioned himself at my opening. I felt myself being filled as he slowly pushed into me. When he started to feel some resistance, he stopped. He kissed me before he quickly thrust his hips forward, breaking my hymen and fully entering me. Honestly, it did hurt a little. It was a burning sensation, nothing too unmanageable, but then again, I did have a high pain threshold. It was an interesting experience for me. I never knew what it was like to have my hymen break.

After breaking my hymen, Souji stilled his movements and looked me in the eye to check to see if I was in any pain. I leaned forwards to kiss him to let him know I was fine before I began moving my hips against him. He moaned loudly and resumed movement when I moved against him. Souji was clumsy when he resumed his movement, but that was to be expected for his first time. Most of his self-control vanished when I began moving against him. He tried to control himself when he resumed his thrusting but he couldn't hold a regular pattern and began to thrust into me irregularly.

"S-Souji! Ah!" I cried out when he hit a sensitive spot inside. "Mmph!"

Souji shifted his body a bit and began to aim towards that one spot. It wasn't long until I could feel an orgasm coming.

"S-Shizuka!" Souji gasped out as his movements became faster, harder, and more irregular. "I'm going to—ngh!"

I came shortly after I felt hot liquid shoot into me. Souji collapsed on top of me as he laid there trying to catch his breath.

"S-S-Souji…." I quivered as I wrapped my arms around his waist. That was incredibly good and by the look on Souji's face, he thought so too and was extremely satisfied. I had no idea why I was so nervous in the first place now.

Several minutes passed before Souji had enough strength to pull himself out of me. He collapsed next to me after he pulled himself free. After recovering some strength, Souji pulled the blankets over us before pulling me close to him.

"Shizuka…" he mumbled quietly as he reached up to stroke my cheek lovingly.

He smiled peacefully at me then wrapped both of his arms around my waist before rolling on to his back so I was resting on his chest. Both of us quickly fell asleep while basking in the afterglow.

* * *

[1] Used to refer to one's own mother.

[2] Traditional Japanese wedding attire that consists of a white or ivory-colored uchikake and a white kimono.

[3] Uchikake (打掛) is a highly formal kimono worn only by a bride or at a stage performance. The Uchikake is often heavily brocaded and is supposed to be worn outside the actual kimono and obi, as a sort of coat. One therefore never ties the obi around the uchikake. It is supposed to trail along the floor, this is also why it is heavily padded along the hem. The uchikake of the bridal costume is either white or very colorful often with red as the base color.

[4] A formal kimono for men with their family crest.

[5] A little pompom tie to tie the haori securely in place.

[6] The white under kimono worn underneath the kimono

[7] Is worn underneath the juban and directly touches the skin.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

"Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistible urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee."  
― J.R. Ward, _Dark Lover_

I awoke to hands lightly tracing the curves of my sides in the late morning. Oh… Last night was mind-blowingly good. Instead of letting Souji know that I was awake, I lied limply with my eyes closed against his chest. He was warm and a surprisingly comfortable pillow.

"I know you're awake." his hot breath teasingly blew into my ear.

I lazily opened one eye to peek at his face. A sly but satisfied grin was plastered on his face as he looked down at me.

"You're too comfortable to sleep on." I answered coyly before closing my eye once more before hugging him even closer to me.

"Sleep, huh?" he said mischievously before I was suddenly flipped onto my back. I opened my eyes to find Souji hovering over me with a smirk. "I can think of better things to do now rather than sleep."

"Oh?" I said with a small giggle. "Why don't you enlighten me?"

"Well," he said as he lowered his face towards mine until it was a few centimeters away, "I could tell you, but it would be more fun for you to guess as we move along." he said with a whisper.

He closed the short distance and placed a long, slow kiss on my lips. He nipped my lower lip lightly before he released me and backed up just enough that so that I could feel his breath without our lips touching.

"Any guesses yet?" he whispered as his breath hit my lips.

Souji moved back in for another slow kiss. He slipped his tongue into my mouth as he rolled his hips sensationally against my hips. Well, hello. It appeared that "little Souji" was ready for another round of fun.

"So what do you think happens next?" Souji asked while nibbling on my ear.

"Well, I—" I started to say before I was interrupted by his sudden movement.

Souji's eyes had suddenly snapped into a sharp, focused gaze. He quickly fixed the blanket so that it was covering everything below our waists before raising his broad shoulder to block me from any unwanted, prying eyes. Just as soon as he shielded me, the door slid open with a loud bang and Kyoko-chan quickly jumped in before slamming the door shut.

"Good, you're awake!" she said with cheerful excitement while disregarding the fact that both me and my husband were both laying together in bed, both completely naked.

"Eh? What are you doing here, Kyoko-chan?" I asked with pleasant surprise. I wasn't expecting any visitors today, especially the morning right after the wedding.

Souji, on the other hand, wasn't as happy to see her as I was. He glared at her with annoyance. "You know, I was expecting to have the whole day with Shizuka alone. It IS the morning after the wedding and I was expecting to stay in bed all day with her to have a couple more rounds between the sheets." he complained. "You do know that we're both naked here, right? That means we should have some privacy."

"Eh, your important parts are covered and it doesn't matter if Shizuka's naked since we're both girls." Kyoko-chan blew him off before rushing over to my side of the futon. "So how was last night? Spill!"

Souji groaned before slamming the back of his head back on the futon. He threw his left arm over his eyes when Kyoko-chan showed no signs of leaving soon. I rubbed his right arm to placate him before sitting up to answer Kyoko-chan's question.

"It was good." I said simply and bluntly.

"I know it was good, you're practically glowing! I want to know the details! The details!" Kyoko-chan gushed excitedly while bouncing up and down.

"I am still here." Souji growled out in frustration. "Don't talk like I'm not in the room. The least you could do is wait until I leave first."

"It was good." I merely repeated what I said before, disregarding Souji's statement.

Dissatisfied with my answer, Kyoko-chan pouted. "You're not going to tell me?" she asked disappointedly.

"Nope! You'll just have to wait until your wedding night to find out." I said cheerfully.

"Aww, then I'll have to wait until winter of this year. Can't you just give me a hint?" she complained. "Please?"

"It was good."

"Can't you be more descriptive?"

"Nope."

Kyoko-chan pouted once more at my answer before her eyes drifted down to my breasts, which remained uncovered by the blanket.

"Are those…are those love bites?" she asked in fascination as she stared openly at my breasts.

Love bites? I looked down at my breasts to discover that I did indeed have love bites. There were two love bites on the side of my right breast and one on the upper half of my left breast. I guess Souji got a bit overexcited last night.

"Hmm… I guess they are." I said while examining them. Did I have a few more on my body somewhere?

"They kind of look like bruises." Kyoko-chan observed before poking the one on my left breast with her finger. "Do they hurt?"

"Mmm, not really… I feel more sore, if anything." I answered amidst her examination.

Souji moved his arm off his face and watched Kyoko-chan poke my breast with a peeved expression. I sent him an apologetic smile when I saw him frowning. He didn't want to share me right now.

"I should be the one fondling Shizuka's breasts, not you." He grumbled unhappily under his breath.

"I'm not fondling them!" Kyoko-chan exclaimed unhappily at Souji's accusation. "I'm examining them! I want to know what to expect on my wedding night! You can have Shizuka-chan back later!"

"Tsk!" Souji turned the other way to sulk.

"Hey," I said to get Kyoko-chan's attention once more, "do I have any more love bites?"

"Hmm…" she hummed as she did a quick survey of my exposed upper body. "You have one on the right side of your neck, two on your collarbone, one under your ribcage, and I see one near the top of your left hip."

"… That's a lot…" I said, a bit surprised at the number. I didn't expect so many after my first time

"That's not nearly enough." I heard Souji mumble under his breath. He was still really upset with the interruption. As much as I loved Kyoko-chan, it was probably better if she left now to avoid upsetting Souji any further.

"Kyoko-chan, we can talk later if you have anything else you want to talk about." I said amicably while silently gesturing to Souji. "I have a few things I have to take care of right now."

"Hmm, fine then." she relented. "I'll see you later?"

"Sure. Bye." I waved to her as she slipped out silently before shutting the door again.

After a moment of silence, both Souji and I heard the sounds of a disturbance filter through the closed doors.

"You again!" we heard Hijikata-san scream from outside. "How do you keep getting in without anyone knowing?!"

"Haha! Your security sucks!" taunted Kyoko-chan.

"Get back here! Heisuke, Saito, catch her!"

"Missed me!"

"Don't let her get away!" Hijikata-san roared as a stampede of footsteps ran towards the front gate.

"… Do you think they'll catch her?" I asked after the footsteps faded away.

"No. She's slipperier than an eel." said Souji before he pulled me back down onto the futon and rolled on top of me again, pressing his erection against my inner thigh. "Now, where were we before we were interrupted?"

"I believed you asked me what I thought would happen next." I giggled before gasping when his hand grazed over one of my nipples.

"Well then, let's continue from there—"

"Okita-kun." Sannan-san's deceptively friendly voice called from behind closed doors.

"WHAT?!" Souji snarled loudly. He clearly had enough of the interruptions that had been occurring all morning.

"You're needed on patrol!" Sannan-san called back, completely unintimidated by Souji's frustrated snarl. "So please get dressed and meet Harada-kun at the front gate."

"Isn't it Shinpachi-san and Sano-san's turn?!" Souji pointed out in frustration.

"Yes, but Nagakura-kun is to hungover to be effective." Sannan-san seemed to answer back gleefully. There was no way that Sannan-san would not be enjoying this.

"Damn it! It's the morning after my wedding, so shouldn't I have the day off?!"

"The day right after your wedding is just another normal day. You should have had your fun last night. It's time to go back to work now. Dress and go meet Harada-kun at the front gates in thirty minutes." Sannan-san said before we heard his footsteps fade away.

Souji gave out a loud and pained groan before collapsing on me limply with his face on my chest. I stroked the back of his head to try to ease some of his disappointment.

"There's always next time." I said softly as I tried to cheer him up.

"Screw next time. I wanted now…" he grumbled into my chest as he hugged me closer to him.

"Go follow Sannan-san's orders for now." I urged gently. "I'll make it up to you later tonight."

He raised his head to look at me with an upset look. "Promise?" he asked like a child.

"I promise." I said before pecking him quickly on the lips and easing him off of me. "Here, I'll help you dress."

* * *

"Ow…my head…" Shinpachi-san grumbled as he emerged from his room while I was hanging up the futon I was washing to dry. It was right before lunch.

Sex without a condom was messy. There were always extra fluids to deal with. In the rush of yesterday, I never actually got to lay a towel on top of the futon, thus resulting in a wet mess on the futon which then later dried on. That created a whitish-yellowish stain which smelled like…well, sex. For the future, it was probably best if I kept a few towels within arm's reach in the bedroom. I think I would go crazy if I had to wash the sheets every time I had a tumble with Souji.

"Drink too much yesterday?" I asked while securing the blankets to the hanging line.

"Ugh…not really, just a nasty hangover." he said with his hand on his head. "I don't suppose you have a cure for this, do you?"

"No, just wait for it to wear off. Most acclaimed hang-over cures don't really work. Although, I do know that artichoke extract can help ease the pain of hangovers, but that's not something we really have on hand." I answered as I turned to face him after drying my hands on my apron. "I can make you some hot tea though."

"Mmm… Yeah, that would be appreciated. Hey, Shizuka?"

"Hmm?"

"How come you're outside doing laundry instead of being in bed with Souji right now? It IS the morning after." Shinpachi-san asked. "You should… Well, you know…still be tumbling around with Souji right now."

"Well, it's your fault." I said as I turned my attention back on the other laundry I needed to hang to dry.

"What?! How?" questioned Shinpachi-san puzzlement.

"Souji was forced to take your patrol with Sano-san when Sannan-san deemed you 'too hungover to be effective'." I explained.

"Aww, crap." Shinpachi said while rubbing the back of his neck and looking at me apologetically. "Souji must be pissed."

"He is." I agreed. "I would avoid him for a few days if I were you. Who knows if he'll draw his sword on you?"

Shinpachi-san turned pale at what I said. Souji could be downright nasty when pissed. "You know, I think I will!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed before retreating back into his room in a panic. "I'll skip the tea you offered from earlier."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Souji will definitely murder me if I take up your time after making him take my patrol this morning." he said while quivering in his room as he prepared to close his door.

"Oh? You got that right." someone said from the far left. Souji had just returned from morning patrol and he had a particularly nasty look on his face as he approached Shinpachi-san.

"O-Oh! S-Souji, you're b-back a-already? W-Why don't I get o-out of y-your way n-now."

"Aw, don't be like that, Shinpachi-san." Souji said sarcastically with a dark smile as he stalked closer to Shinpachi-san. "I heard you had a terrible hangover. So terrible, in fact, that I had to fill in for you the morning after my wedding. Why don't I help you with that hangover? Once I'm done with you, you'll never have another hangover again."

"That's because dead people can't have hangovers!" Shinpachi-san yelped before he took off running with Souji on his tail.

Shinpachi-san managed to avoid Souji for the next three days, but on the morning of the fourth day, Souji walked into the main hall cheerfully dragging a mournful Shinpachi-san along and announced joyfully that Shinpachi-san was going to take over his patrols for the next week.

* * *

"Ah, there you are Shizu-chan!" Otou-san called out to me as I was wiping the floors of the hallways.

"Is there something that you need, Otou-san?" I asked as I paused my task.

"Oh! Yes, everyone is gathering at the main hall to greet our new recruits." he explained enthusiastically. "You should come join us. You may not be an official member of the Roshigumi, but you are our physician and it would be good for you to introduce yourself to the new men."

I nodded before obediently following Otou-san to the main hall. On the way there, we ran into Ibuki-kun who had to deliver some notes to Sannan-san. Being the man that he was, Otou-san invited Ibuki-kun to join us in welcoming the new recruits. As we entered the room, I spotted five men in the room that I did not recognize. These must have been the new recruits Otou-san mentioned. Ibuki-kun followed me as I went to take my seat on Souji's left side while Otou-san went to go take his seat in the front of the room. I pecked Souji on the cheek before scanning the room. Looks like Serizawa and Niimi didn't think the new recruits were important enough to come greet and it looked like we were still missing a few people for this meeting.

"Any of these men look promising?" I whispered to Souji.

"They all look okay," he whispered back while pointing to two men in the group, "but those two over there look like they might be useful."

One of the men that Souji pointed to was a large, kind-looking giant with his hair in a topknot. The other man had spiky hair with a long thin ponytail. He had a smaller and leaner build than the first man, but he possessed sharp, purple, observant eyes.

"Did you get their names yet?"

"No, we're still waiting on a few more people to arrive before we start. Looks like they're here now." Souji said as he pointed to the door. Sano-san had just arrived and went to take his seat on the opposite side of the room. Shinpachi-san was now walking through the door.

"Long time no see, Nagakura-san." said the kind-looking giant that Souji pointed out.

Shinpachi-san was surprised when someone called out his name and paused to look around to see who it.

"Oh, it's you!" Shinpachi-san called out with a large smile on this face when his eyes landed on the gentle giant.

"What is it, Shinpachi?" Hijikata-san asked as he raised his head. "You know him?"

"Yeah." Shinpachi-san said cheerfully. "Back in Edo we attended the Shingyoto-style dojo together."

"My name is Shimada Kai." the large man introduced himself politely with a bow. "I was studying the spear at the dojo…"

Instead of listening to Shimada-san's full introduction, Souji lost interest and turned to Ibuki-kun to ask, "What are you doing here?"

"Beats me!" Ibuki-kun said with a lousy attitude. "Kondou-san said I should make their acquaintance since we'll be living in the headquarters together."

"Hmm…" Souji said, accepting the explanation only because Otou-san's name was mentioned in the sentence.

"Souji, you should be paying attention to the introductions." I said with a frown in slight disapproval. "You'll be working with these men in the future, so you should get to know them better."

Teamwork and an understanding of certain individuals were essential for making the Roshigumi run smoothly. Souji was recently given the position of the First Division Captain, so it was more important for him to get to know the men than it was for the normal foot soldier. If teamwork wasn't smooth on the field then patrol, missions, and battles could easily fall to pieces. An easy job could become impossible to complete if the men did not understand or trust each other. It didn't matter how strong each individual was, if the team was uncoordinated and unorganized then it would be easy to pick apart.

"I am. I am. Don't worry about me." Souji assured me with a quick smile before turning to pay attention to the new recruits again.

"Okay, next!" Hijikata-san said when Shimada-san was done introducing himself. The purple-eyed man was next to speak.

"I am Yamazaki Susumu." the man said before bowing in respect. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"Weren't you born in Osaka?" asked Hijikata-san.

"Sir!" the man answered, "My chichi was an acupuncturist."

Hijikata-san's face lightened up when he heard the answer. "So do you possess some medical knowledge?" he asked.

"A little." Yamazaki-san said while smiling back at Hijikata-san.

"Great! We can make use of another person with medical knowledge." Hijikata-san said. "Shizuka, come here."

When he called for me, I stood up and made my way up front. I quickly sat down next to Otou-san before Hijikata-san nodded at Otou-san.

"This is my daughter." Otou-san gestured towards me in excitement. "She's not an official member of the Roshigumi, but she is our medical professional. Don't let her delicate and dainty appearance fool you! She will be the most skill and knowledgeable physician you have ever met!"

"You two should get to know each other better after this." Hijikata-san added to Otou-san sentence. "The both of you will most likely be working very closely with each other in the future."

"It's very nice to meet you." I bowed politely. "My name is Okita Shizuka. I hope we get along well."

"Likewise." Yamazaki nodded at me.

"Gah!" came a small muffled cry from Ibuki-kun.

I subtly turned to the cry of distress as the introductions from the other men continued. Souji was staring darkly at Yamazaki-san with a jealous expression. Ibuki-kun, who had probably tried to say something about the situation, had his head stuck under Souji's right arm and his mouth was covered by Souji's left hand, muffling whatever Ibuki-kun was trying to say while also making it hard for him to breathe. Souji still couldn't stomach it when I had to work closely with someone that did not come from Shieikan Hall. He really did have the attention span of a puppy. Sannan-san, the only other person that noticed what was going on, turned to me and smiled gleefully at the situation.

…

Sannan-san was seriously a really sadistic person… And the introductions continued without another bump.

"This is everyone, right?" Hijikata-san asked at the end of the introductions as everyone stood up. "Once you join the Roshigumi, regardless of your birth and rearing, we will treat you as warriors. Are you ready for this?"

"Sir!" all the new recruits answered at once with enthusiasm.

"From now on, let us all combine our forces to crackdown on the rogue samurai who are disturbing the peace in Kyoto." Otou-san said, closing the little welcoming ceremony and inspiring the new recruits. "Guys, I want you to maintain an indomitable resolve. I'm counting on you!"

"Sir!" all the recruits answered again before they were dismissed.

I quickly approached Yamazaki-san before he started mingling with the others in the room. "So how much do you know about the human body?"

If I was going to work with another person then he had to be competent. When soldiers come to us for treatment of a wound, they were placing their lives in our hands and trusting in our abilities. I was not about to betray the trust of patients by letting an incompetent person into the medical field. As long as Yamazaki-san had a basic understanding of human anatomy and physiology then I could work with him and teach him the rest, granted that he was willing to learn.

"I know some basic anatomy and physiology as well as all the pressure points of the human body." he answered dutifully. "I am willing to learn what I am lacking if you are willing to teach."

Excellent! This was exactly what type of attitude I was hoping for.

"You have a commendable attitude." I complemented him.

The medical field was not for the light of heart. Surgeons had to be able to cut into a living person and operate without hesitation. We had to be through and make no mistakes. A single mistake makes all the difference in whether a person lived or died; recovered or became handicapped; healed normally or became deformed. We would have to be able to stomach seeing the worst of injuries and be able to work under enormous pressure without breaking. We would have to be able to understand that we can try, but will never be able to save everyone from death.

"There will be a lot to learn and you will have to put in more effort and energy than most of the other soldiers here. You will have to do your duties as a soldier and spend your free time learning medical techniques. The days will be long and tiring, but I will still expect you to be at your very best. I will be a harsh teacher, but that is because I wish that you will become an excellent surgeon. Understand?" I asked after laying down a few of my terms.

"Understood!" Yamazaki-san answered back respectfully and full of confidence. "I promise I will work hard, Shizuka-sensei."

"You don't get to call Shizuka by her first name." an irked voice butt into our conversation. Souji sauntered up to the both of us and inserted himself in the space between Yamazaki-san and I. Ibuki-kun, who was stuck in the headlock earlier, bolted out the door the moment Souji released him.

"Excuse me!" Yamazaki-san objected angrily at the rude interruption. "This conversation has nothing to do with you and you don't get to decide what I get to call Shizuka-sensei by."

Souji, unhappy at the tone, took it as an invitation to get up in Yamazaki-san's face. "I have every right to decide what you get to call Shizuka by. Don't act so familiar with my wife."

"Y-your wife?" Yamazaki-san asked wide-eyed at that information.

Souji smirked at Yamazaki-san's reaction. "Yes, MY wife. Furthermore, I'm the First Division Captain, Okita Souji. I'm your superior and you follow my orders."

"F-First Division Captain?" Yamazaki-san paled. He had just joined the Roshigumi and had not been told yet who were the division captains. He was mortified that he had already blundered before a full hour had even passed.

Having enough of Souji intimidating my new student, I lightly cuffed Souji on the back of his head.

"Ouch!" Souji cried childishly as his imposing form crumbled into one of a cowed child before whining, "Shizuka…" All I gave him was a hard, unimpressed look and he shrunk away.

"I apologize for his rude behavior." I apologized. "Ignore what he said earlier. You're free to call me whatever you wish. I don't really care either way."

I wasn't about to let Souji scare off my new student. Good med students were hard to find and Yamazaki-san seemed like he would be a good one.

"O-Okay..." Yamazaki-san said, stunned at Souji's sudden change of attitude.

"Follow me. I'll show you where our medical facilities are and start your first lessons now." I said before heading off to my little "office".

Yamazaki-san nodded before following me. Souji remained quiet after I scolded him and watched me sorrowfully as he followed after Yamazaki and me meekly instead of going to do his job. I sighed inwardly. Souji may have deserved that scolding, but I couldn't stay mad at him long and the amount of time I could leave him upset was even shorter. I should have let him sulk and think about his actions, but I couldn't bring myself to when he looked so upset. When we arrived at our destination, I sent Yamazaki-san inside first before I turned to Souji. I approached him and cupped his face before I gave him a short, gentle kiss.

"I know you don't like it when I have to work closely with other men, but Otou-san needs more doctors in the Roshigumi." I said gently as I released his face. "I'll get overworked if I don't have an assistant to help me and it'll become difficult for me to get pregnant if I become too stressed. So don't be so upset, okay?"

Souji sigh resignedly before wrapping his arms around my waist and placing his face against my neck.

"Don't get too close with him." he mumbled into my neck.

"I'll never get as close to anyone as I am with you." I assured him. "So don't worry anymore and go do your job."

"Okay." he sighed before kissing my forehead and releasing me hesitantly.

When Souji left, I entered the building to join Yamazaki-san. Yamazaki-san was staring at wonder at the various tools I had around the room. What drew his attention the most was the chemistry equipment on the tables against the walls.

"They look interesting, don't they?" I asked with amusement as Yamazaki-san jumped a few feet in the air at the sound of my voice.

"Y-yes… What are they for?" he asked with curiosity as he examined the one furthest to the left.

"Well, the one that you're looking at right now is used for synthesizing penicillin."

"Penicillin?" he asked.

Of course he would ask. According to history, penicillin wouldn't actually be discovered by Ernest Duchesne until 1897 and wouldn't be used to successfully treat a patient until 1942. The first patient that was treated successfully did still die in the end, but that was only because the doctors ran out of penicillin.

"It's an antibiotic used to treat infection caused by bacteria. While it can be used to save lives, you need to be careful how you use it. If misused, bacteria can become resistant to it and it becomes useless." I explained. "The other equipment set up next to it are used in producing isoniazid, rifampin, and ethambutol in the same respective order." Kyoko-chan was true to her word and helped me obtain the much needed tools to produce medical drugs.

"What are those used for?"

"They're used together to treat consumption. Those drugs target the malignant bacteria in the lungs that cause the disease. However, I'm still missing the fourth drug."

"What's the fourth drug?" Yamazaki-san asked in amazement.

"Pyrazinamide, I still can't get it pure enough." I answered. I had the proper tools to make it possible now, but these tools weren't modern tools and thus it was very difficult to obtain the desired results. "Well, enough about that. I'm going to test you on your knowledge now so I know where to start my lessons."

* * *

Yamazaki-san was indeed a good student. He worked hard and never made the same mistakes twice. The amount of knowledge he absorb in the time span of a week and a half was astounding and he was dedicated.

"Explain the blood flow in the heart to me." I quizzed Yamazaki-san late one night in my small medical wing. "But first explain to me what the difference between an artery and a vein is."

"Yes, Sensei." Yamazaki-san said as he paused his paperwork to speak. "A vein takes blood towards the heart and an artery takes blood away from the heart. When blood enters the heart, it comes in through two veins: the superior vena cava on the top of the heart and the inferior vena cava on the bottom of the heart. Once the blood enters the heart, the blood is in the right atrium and must go through the tricuspid valve to enter the right ventricle."

"Okay." I interjected before he continued to the rest of the heart. "Before you continue, can you tell me what the function of a heart valve is?"

"A heart valve is to prevent the backflow of blood into the previous chamber." Yamazaki-san answered without hesitation.

"Good. Now continue with the blood flow."

"Once blood enters the right ventricle, it is pumped through the pulmonary valve into the pulmonary arteries. The blood then travels to the lungs to exchange carbon dioxide for oxygen. The oxygen-rich blood will then return to the heart by entering into the left atrium. Blood then flows through the mitral valve and into the left ventricle. There, the blood is pumped through the aortic valve and into the aorta. From there, the blood is circulated throughout the body before returning to the heart through the superior and inferior vena cava again." Yamazaki-san finished.

"Very good." I complemented him with a satisfied nod. "Now, should we go into the thermoregulation in the circulatory system…?"

"Excuse me, Sensei?"

"Hmm…? What is it, Yamazaki-san?"

"I don't mean to interrupt, but isn't it time for you to return to your room?" Yamazaki-san asked. "Okita-san is always in a foul mood and hostile towards me the next day if he returns to the bedroom with you not there yet."

Oops. Of course Souji would be. In his mind I was spending too much time with Yamazaki-san and he didn't like it at all. There was even one time I found Yamazaki-san covered in wet flour because Souji was unhappy with the amount of time I was with Yamazaki-san one night.

"Ah, that would be a good idea." I agreed with Yamazaki-san. "Then I should get going now. Goodnight, Yamazaki-san. I left some of my notes on the desk for you to review. Please review them by the end of this week."

"I will, Sensei." Yamazaki-san said before bowing politely. "Goodnight to you too."

I waved Yamazaki-san goodnight before leaving the medical wing to return to mine and Souji's bedroom. By the time I returned, luckily Souji had not gotten back yet from the meeting he was attending. I was able to read through some of my medical notes for about twenty more minutes before Souji returned. When Souji entered our room, I quickly put away my notes and went to his side to help him remove his swords from his hip and to help him prepare for bed.

"It's been decided that I'm going with Kondou-san and the rest of the chosen group tomorrow to Osaka to arrest a few rogue samurai." Souji announced to me as I took his swords from him.

"So you're leaving in the morning?" I asked as I placed his swords on the stands above his side of the futon.

"Yeah. You'll be fine on your own for a few days?" he asked as he watched me.

I nodded. "Please be careful while you're there. Make sure no one gets hurt, okay?" I said with a small smile before I returned to him to peck him on the lips.

"Okay." he answered happily before gaining a mischievous glint in his eyes. He quickly pushed me against the wall, trapping me between him and the wall with his arms.

"You should be getting some rest for tomorrow's journey." I said disapprovingly at his actions. "And it's late."

"I have plenty of stamina." he said with a wry grin while pulling my obi loose. "Besides, I'll be without your company for a few days, so shouldn't I get to have some fun tonight? Kondou-san IS expecting some grandchildren out of us. I'd hate to disappoint."

"Fine." I relented before nuzzling the side of his neck. I spoiled him too much.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

"The 'L' in my luck has been replaced with an 'F'."–Unknown

"Be careful and look out for everyone, okay?" I said while smiling softly at Souji.

It was the Hour of the Hare[1] on the first day of June and everyone was gathered in front of the compound. The group that was leaving for Osaka consisted of Shinpachi-san, Saito-san, Sannan-san, Gen-san, Yamazaki-san, Shimada-san, Otou-san, Souji, Serizawa and Hirama. I placed a bundle of lunches I prepared earlier that morning in Souji's hands before kissing him affectionately on the lips.

"This is for the trip." I explained. "Even though you guys are going by ship, it's still a four hour journey. There should be enough food in here for nine people, even with Shinpachi-san's massive appetite."

"Hmm… nine people, huh?" Souji said with a knowing look. He had a hint of a smile slowly creeping onto his lips as he quirked a single eyebrow at me.

"What?" I asked as a response to his look. "You know I don't like Serizawa. I'm not going to make lunch for someone I don't like."

In fact, I'm sure that even if I did make Serizawa lunch, he wouldn't eat it. Due to my open hostility towards him and the fact he knew I was trying to get him assassinated, he probably would have assumed I poisoned his food. I wasn't about to waste my time and effort on something that was going to be thrown away in the end. But, even though I did not make lunch for Serizawa, I did make lunch for his henchman. Hirama was a decent person and I had nothing against him. Just because he followed Serizawa did not make him a bad person. I wasn't going to treat the man poorly just because I didn't like his master.

Souji chuckled at my response while Otou-san sent me a glance of disapproval. At Otou-san's disapproving glance, I conjured up the cutest, sweetest puppy-eyes I could manage. Hiss glance lost its edge as he let out a sigh and shook his head at me with a small smile. Hehehe, Otou-san could never stay mad at me long whenever I did that. I bounced up to Otou-san and kissed his cheek.

"You be careful too, Otou-san."

"Shizu-chan, don't worry so much." Otou-san replied before patting my head. "We'll all be fine. Just focus on taking care of everyone else while we're gone."

"Tsk!" came Serizawa's annoyed voice, cutting our goodbye short. "Hurry up! We don't have all day!"

We all waved the group leaving good-bye and watched them walked down the road towards the harbor to the ferry that was going to take them down to Osaka.

"Serizawa-sama and the others are departing for Osaka?" asked a male voice from behind while everyone was watching the Osaka group leave.

Everyone but Hijikata-san turned around at the sound of the voice. Yukimura was standing a short distance behind all us left behind at headquarters. He wore a seemingly kind smile as he faced our group. Hijikata-san continued to face forward, but he surveyed Yukimura with a sharp look through the corner of his eye. Just like me, Hijikata-san didn't like this man very much either and was suspicious of him. Yukimura's smile that he always had was kind and he was always polite, but it all somehow seemed disingenuous. It felt like he had a façade that he showed everyone and that it was well rehearsed. Maybe I was thinking too much about it and was just being bias because he was the one that brought the Water of Life to the Roshigumi. Maybe he was really as kind as he seemed. Other than being stuck with the nasty job that the Bakufu assigned, he hadn't actually done anything that merited my doubt and suspicion. But then again, Hijikata-san wasn't very trusting of Yukimura either. Hijikata-san was much more perceptive than I was when it came to people and I trusted his sense of judgment more than my own. Perhaps I should follow Hijikata-san's lead here.

"Yukimura-dono!" Niimi excitedly ran to greet the westernWestern trained doctor. "I've been eagerly waiting for your arrival! I could use your advice on something today"

"Okay." Yukimura answered warmly to Niimi's request.

"Come, come. Please, come inside!" Niimi eagerly ushered Yukimura into the Maekawa house while the remaining Shieikan group watched their interactions.

"It's freaky how happy Niimi-san is." Heisuke commented as he turned to face the opposite direction with his arms crossed behind his head.

"That's because Sannan-san, who'd always voice his opposition, left for Osaka." explained Sano-san as he closed his eyes.

Hijikata-san turned towards me and nodded, signaling that he wanted to speak to me privately, as Heisuke was speaking. I followed Hijikata-san back towards a small alleyway between the buildings of the compound as he called out to Heisuke without a pause in his step.

"Heisuke." Hijikata-san called Heisuke to follow us.

"Huh?" Heisuke made a questioning sound before he followed the both of us without a complaint, leaving Sano-san by himself.

Hijikata-san came to a stop when he arrived behind a building through the alley and he turned to face Heisuke and me with crossed arms.

"Please keep an eye on Niimi-san and Kodo-san." Hijikata-san said while making eye contact with Heisuke.

"What?" Heisuke said with a perplexed expression.

"Niimi-san intends to get the jump on us while Sannan-san is away and proceed with the experiments with Kodo-san." explained Hijikata-san.

"No kidding." Heisuke said as he put a single hand on his hip and looked away.

"I can't leave Kyoto, so I had Sannan-san go to Osaka. But I don't intend to let them do as they please.

"So you had me stay rather than go to Osaka because…"

"I can only entrust this job with someone who knows about the Water of Life and rasetsu and is also a trustworthy companion."

"Got it!" Heisuke exclaimed with a giant smile. "So it wasn't because you lacked faith in my abilities!"

"Of course not!"

"So that means you don't want to rely on that medicine either, right?"

"You're being too loud." Hijikata-san scolded as Heisuke's voice rose in happiness.

"Oh, sorry." Heisuke said apologetically.

"Shizuka," Hijikata-san said to gain my attention, "go ask Kyoko what she can dig up on Kodo-san. I want to know more about the man the Bakufu sent to us. There's something about him I can't trust."

"Understood." I nodded.

"Good." Hijkata-san said to my answer before adding after a short period of pondering, "While you're there, also ask her how she keeps getting into headquarters without being detected."

"There's no point in asking her that." I said flatly. "The answer will forever be 'I climbed over the wall'."

Hijikata-san ignored my last statement and addressed the both of us one last time. "Harada and I are going to the magistrate's office now. I'm counting on the both of you."

Leave it to us!" Heisuke nodded confidently.

* * *

"So do you think you can find more information on Yukimura Kodo?" I asked Kyoko-chan as we sat together outside a teahouse eating some dango.

"Sure, leave it to me." Kyoko-chan said while munching on her snack. "I'll ask my contacts and have some information ready for you by the end of this week."

"Thanks. Oh, before I forget, Hijikata-san asked me to ask you again how you always manage to sneak into headquarters undetected."

"I climbed over the wall." Kyoko-chan answered again simply.

"… I thought so." I knew the answer would be the same. Hmm… maybe…maybe Hijkata-san and I were asking the wrong question. "Let me rephrase that question: How are you climbing over the wall with such ease?"

Kyoko-chan grinned at me with the now empty dango stick sticking out from between her teeth. She reached into the sleeves of her kimono and pulled out two black iron bands with claw-like spikes.

"With these." She said as she slipped the curious twin bands onto her hands.

The twin iron bands fit comfortably around the palms of her hands. The claw-like spikes were attached to the sides of the bands that were sitting on the palms and faced outwards. What were these tools? They looked like climbing cleats for hands.

"What are those?" I asked as I flipped her hands to observe her climbing tools

"My maternal grandfather gave these to me and taught me how to use these before he passed away. They're called shuko." Kyoko-chan explained.

"They seem useful, but how come I never heard about these before." Such useful tools should have been well know, so why weren't they?

"It's because…" Kyoko-chan paused for a dramatic effect, "… they're ninja tools!"

Wait… WHAT?! Ninja tools?! How did she have ninja tools? Even in 19th century Tokugawa Japan, ninja had already faded into popular myth.

The ninja in Japan became famous in 1336 to 1600 for their seemingly supernatural abilities. They struck fear into the highly ranked officials with their ability to move undetected, for their rumored assassinations, and their amazing fighting ability with bizarre weapons. The ninja clans flourished in the Warring States Period when they played an active role on all sides of the fighting, but began to disappear after the Iga Revolt. The Iga Revolt occurred 1581 when the warlord Oda Nobunaga led an army of approximately 40,000 warriors to the Iga province and destroyed the ninja stronghold. After that event, most of the ninja scattered and became difficult to trace. However, that did not mean that the ninja vanished completely after that battle. Some of the ninja went into service under Tokugawa Ieyasu, who became shogun in 1603. The last time ninja were actually recorded into history was at the Shimabara Rebellion in 1637-1638. Nobody now really knew what happened to the ninja clans afterwards or were they went. In the relatively stable times of the Tokugawa period, the ninja were no longer needed, and so, they vanished from sight.

This brought me back to my original question: How did Kyoko-chan have ninja tools? The ninja clans were a highly secretive society. The only reason I even knew the minuscule amount of information I had about ninja was because I read a bit on the Iga Revolt in my past life during a museum visit. There was no way they Kyoko-chan could have ninja tools unless… no way…

Kyoko-chan grinned at me when the revelation hit me. "My family on my haha's side came from a long line of ninja. However, my maternal oji-chan was the last person in my family that was fully trained in ninjustu."

"T-then does that mean you know at least some ninjustu?" I asked in complete awe at the discovery.

She laughed good-naturedly at my question. "I only know how to climb and sneak around. I never actually learned anything else from my grandfather. Okaa-san never learned any ninjustu because she thought it was unnecessary so she didn't think I needed to learn. She said, 'women don't need to learn how to fight'."

So that explained why she was so good at getting into the compound without being detected and why she was so fast. This also explained why she couldn't fight off the ronin from when we first met despite knowing some ninjutsu.

"But still, Kyoko-chan is really amazing!" I exclaimed excitedly.

"Tehehe, if you think I'm really amazing, just wait until you meet Kenji."

"He's the childhood friend you're supposed to marry at the end of this year, right?" I asked.

"Yup! His family comes from a ninja clan that was allied with the ninja clan my haha's family was from. This is why our families were so close in the first place." said Kyoko-chan. "His family is one of the few families that refused to let the art of ninjustu die out even though they no longer use it in real life. Kenji isn't just a merchant, he's a fully trained ninja!"

"Really?!" I asked while leaning forward with my hands clasped together in front of me as I stared star-eyed at Kyoko-chan. This was so cool. How many people could claim that they knew a real ninja? Kyoko-chan took one look at me before she started gushing.

"Shizuka-chan is so cute when she's like this!" she exclaimed as she grabbed me in a tight hug.

"Kyoko-han! Shizuka-han!" a familiar voice chimed. Kyoko-chan let go of me and looked up to see the owner of the voice.

"Kosuzu-chan!" Kyoko-chan said happily. She quickly scooted closer to me to make more room on the bench before gesturing to the empty spot next to her.

After the day Sano-san dragged Ibuki-kun over to the okiya to apologize to Kosuzu-chan, I ran into her with Kyoko-chan the next day at the market. The three of us chatted with each other and became quick friends. From that day on, we would often meet up at a teahouse to eat dumplings and drink tea together when Kosuzu-chan had permission to leave the okiya.

"Did you get held up earlier?" I asked Kosuzu-chan. "You're usually on time."

"Okaa-han had me practice dance today a little longer than usual." she answered before ordering her own plate of mitarashi dango.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Kyoko-chan bounced in her seat after Kosuzu-chan got comfortable. "What's your relationship with that Ibuki guy?"

Kosuzu-chan's cheeks became dusted with a light red as she put her dango back down onto her plate.

"He's a valued customer." Kosuzu-chan said while looking down at her lap with a small smile gracing her lips.

"Hohoho! So he means more to you than that." Kyoko-chan said with a sly smile. "Right, Shizuka-chan?"

"Really?" I asked. "If Kosuzu-chan says that Ibuki-kun is a valued customer then isn't he just a valued customer?" I mean, what is there more to be gleamed from that sliver of information? I must have missed the point completely because Kyoko-chan face-palmed at my answer.

"You've been married now for about a month, but you're still denser than a bar of lead when it comes to things like this!" Kyoko-chan voiced her frustration.

"… Denser than a bar of lead...? Oh!" I exclaimed. If she was talking about me being dense then she must be talking about romantic love.

"Get what I'm talking about now?"

"Yeah, I got it." I answered Kyoko-chan before turning to Kosuzu-chan, "I know that maiko and geshia aren't allowed to have romantic relationships, so what are you going to do?"

"There's nothing I can do." Kosuzu-chan answered as she continued to look at her lap. "The only thing I can do is hope that Ibuki-han continues to come to see me as a customer."

"Maybe he can pay off your debt?" suggested Kyoko-chan before she repudiated herself. "Probably not… he has no money."

Maiko always got dug into debt during their training to become a full geisha. The dance and music lessons all cost a fortune, but most of expenses were on the many different, special kimono they have to wear to banquets. In order for a geisha to be successful, they must own several different pairs of kimono, each one costing thousands of ryō. Because the Okaa-san of the okiya takes on all the debt from training, the maiko and geisha were effectively chained to the okiya until they could earn enough revenue to pay off the debt or until they could find a danna[2] to pay off the debt for them.

"The only other way would be to runaway together." I whispered.

A more plausible plan, but just as difficult as the previous option and had a heavier backlash if it failed. Because maiko and geisha were such a big investment for the Okaa-san of the okiya, they were so heavily watched that it became near impossible for them to run away. The Okaa-san of an okiya even locked the doors to keep her geisha and maiko from running and kept the key on her person at all times. If a maiko or a geisha did manage to run away and was discovered by the townsfolk then the townsfolk would capture the runaway and return her to the okiya. The person that ran away would then be punished severely. But if Kosuzu did manage to successfully runaway with Ibuki-kun, then she would be free of the career she was sold into as a young child and Ibuki-kun would be free of Serizawa.

"Runaway?!" Kosuzu whispered back to both Kyoko-chan and I. "It'll be impossible!"

"No it wouldn't." Kyoko-chan rebuffed Kosuzu-chan in a whisper. "I've got connections all over the city and Shizuka-chan has the Roshigumi captains wrapped around her finger. We can arrange a situation that guarantees your escape with Ibuki."

"I don't know…" Kosuzu doubtfully whispered back. "Would Ibuki-han even be willing to run away with me...? I need time to think about this."

I sighed loudly. "It's hot today!" I exclaimed to throw off anyone who was watching us talk earlier. "Forget about whether it would ruin your reputation! Let's go swim in the stream."

It would be best to let the people think both Kyoko-chan and I were trying to convince Kosuzu-chan to do something inappropriate rather than runaway.

* * *

I brought a small bundle of rice balls to Heisuke as he leaned against the wall right outside the Maekawa house. He had taken the orders from Hijikata-san quite seriously and skipped dinner in order to keep an eye on Yukimura and Niimi.

"Here Heisuke." I said as I handed him his dinner. "I know you're taking Hijikata-san's orders very seriously, but you need to eat to keep your strength up."

"Oh, thanks. Itadakimasu." Heisuke said as he opened his package and began to eat. "So what did Kyoko-chan say?" he asked between bites.

"She said she should have some information about Yukimura by the end of this week, but I don't know how much information she will be able to get on him."

"I see." he said before he grabbed another rice ball.

"So did anything happen on your end?"

"Nothing so far." he said while finishing up his last rice ball. "Thanks for the food."

"That was fast. If you're still hungry, I can go make you some more food." I offered.

"Nah, I'm good. Why don't you stay here and keep me company while I wait for Kodo-san to leave?"

"Okay." I said before leaning against the wall next to Heisuke.

We both watch Ibuki-kun sweep the front of the Maekawa house in silence for a short while before the front door of the house opened. Yukimura stepped out of the house and closed the door behind him before bowing politely to Ibuki-kun, who had paused sweeping the floor when the door opened.

"I'm leaving now." Yukimura announced to Ibuki-kun.

"Okay." Ibuki-kun replied before Yukimura started to walk towards the front gate of the compound.

Heisuke pushed himself off the wall we were leaning on and addressed me. "Stay here, Shizuka." he said before approaching Yukimura.

I watched from my position near the wall while Ibuki-kun leaned in closer from where he was to listen in on Yukimura's and Heisuke's conversation.

"I'll walk you home." Heisuke said to Yukimura flatly. "It'd suck if you got attacked by rogue samurai on your way back."

Yukimura smiled kindly before replying, "No, I will be fine. I appreciate your concern."

"Is your research progressing any?"

"This is not something that will produce results overnight." Yukimura said before addressing Heisuke's steely expression. "It would appear you think poorly of us conducting research on the Water of Life."

Heisuke turned to face another direction before answering, "Yeah. I understand our situation. But even so, I don't want my friends to take that medicine."

"Indeed, it is not something we should use." Yukimura agreed. "However, it is also a fact that countless lives will be saved by that medicine's powers."

"Save lives?" Heisuke questioned loudly as he turned to face Yukimura again. "With a medicine that turns people into monsters?"

"Anyone who loses everything due to their own powerlessness thinks, 'If I only had more power.'" Yukimura replied. "The power obtained through the Water of Life is fake. It may not be true power, yet even if it is fake, there are things you can protect so long as you possess it."

"Do you have a reason for seeking greater power?"

"I cannot say. I am simply a doctor." Yukimura said with a creepy smile.

"If the power you seek brings us harm," Heisuke said before he quickly drew his sword and pointed at the doctor, "I will kill you on the spot!"

Yukimura remained unalarmed by the threat and the sword pointed at his face. Who was this man? His lack of reaction, he was no normal doctor. My initial instincts must have been correct.

"Everyone has their own positions, ideas and ambitions!" Heisuke continued. It's nice when you can talk things out, but when you can't… When two adamant wills clash, fighting is the only option. That's what I think. Even so, if possible… I don't want to kill someone if I don't have to. I think it'd be great if I never had to kill anyone."

Heisuke sheathed his sword when he finished speaking.

Completely unaffected by the threat, Yukimura merely bowed again politely and wished Heisuke farewell before leaving the headquarters for the day. I approached Heisuke once I saw Yukimura exit out the front gates of the compound.

"Be careful, Heisuke." I warned him. "That man didn't even react when you drew your sword on him. He's no normal doctor. He's not even a normal man."

"Yeah, I know." Heisuke answered as he continued staring at the front gates that the doctor exited out of.

"Come on, let's go back inside. I'm sure you're stiff from standing in the same position all day. I can give you a massage to loosen up the knots in your back."

"Oh! Thanks!" Heisuke said as he happily accepted my offer.

* * *

Today was terrible. I entered my lab space earlier today to discover the distiller I was using to extract the penicillin had cracked overnight. The miniscule amounts of penicillin that I had managed to painstakingly produce had become contaminated and thus no longer viable. On top of that, the damaged distiller would be too dangerous to keep using. The crack had meant that it would be easy for the substance I was distilling to be contaminated. It had to be thrown out and I would have to wait several more weeks for Kyoko-chan to procure another one for me. I had briefly wondered if the crack was an omen of bad luck, but I had quickly dismissed that. I wasn't someone that believed in superstition.

"Going by the look on your face, I'm guessing that it can't be salvaged." Heisuke commented as I held up the cracked portion to the light with a frown on my face.

"Damn it." I muttered. "These things are hard to get and expensive."

"Maybe the crack is an omen of bad luck." he suggested.

"I don't believe in bad luck. Luck is just another word for the chance of an event occurring. It's neither good nor bad." I denied as I put the glass instrument back down on the table. "Besides, I doubt anything else bad is going to happen today. Everyone who went to Osaka is supposed to return today. Well, unless you count Serizawa returning alive and well as bad luck." I snorted.

"Serizawa-san! A moment please!" both Heisuke and I heard as soon as I finished speaking.

"Quit harping!" What uncanny timing.

"Well, speak of the devil… come on, Heisuke. Let's go." I said as we both left the medical wing and headed towards the sound of the voices.

"Shinpat-san, did you have any luck?" Heisuke asked cheerfully as we arrived at our destination before we both noticed the tense atmosphere. Serizawa and Hirama had already left the group and entered the Maekawa house.

No one would face the both of us and Hijikata-san, who had arrived moments earlier before Heisuke and I, when we spoke nor would they answer our questions. Everyone in the group, but Souji, wore grim expressions. While everyone was facing forwards, Souji was casually facing the side and while everyone wore grim expressions, Souji wore a wry smile.

"Souji?" I asked and received no answer.

That smile… no it wasn't his normal smile, it was a mask. Something had definitely happened in Osaka. I narrowed my eyes before making eye contact with Hijikata-san. He nodded at me before he turned to Sannan-san.

"Sannan-san, did something happen?" Hijikata-san asked.

Sannan-san answered after a moment of silence. "There was a scuffle with some unarmed sumo wrestlers in Osaka…"

"A scuffle?" Hijikata-san questioned.

"Serizawa-san and Okita-kun…" Sannan-san said before closing his eyes, "…struck down the wrestlers."

"They what?!" Hijikata-san exclaimed in shock and horror.

I quickly turned to face Souji in alarm after I heard what Sannan-san said.

"I guess it's time to start believing in superstitions…" Heisuke murmured loud enough only for me to hear.

* * *

[1] A two hour period that is roughly from 5:00 a.m. to 7:00 a.m.

[2] It was traditional in the past for established geisha to take a danna, or patron. A danna was typically a wealthy man, sometimes married, who had the means to support the very large expenses related to a geisha's traditional training and other costs.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

"When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way." ― Paulo Coelho, _Brida_

"If only I didn't take my eyes off Serizawa-san…" said Otou-san as he sat down on the roka outside of the Yagi house with a disheartened expression.

This had to be Serizawa's fault. It was always Serizawa's fault. I clenched my hands into tight fists as I glared at the ground. Everyone was working so hard to promote the Roshigumi in a positive light and this single event made everyone's hard work go up in flames. How can the normal citizens think positively of the Roshigumi now after what had just happened? What sort of group would claim to protect the citizens from ronin and then turn around and cut down the very same citizens they swore to protect? As serious as this issue was, it was only the tip of the iceberg. Serizawa was not the only one that cut down the sumo wrestlers, but Souji also participated in this violent act. Souji still did not understand the value of human life and when Serizawa gave the order to remove the sumo wrestlers by force, Souji had immediately followed through with the order without giving it much thought. It was one thing to drag the Roshigumi name through the mud, but it was a whole other thing to drag Souji down this path. What Serizawa did was unforgivable. I could flay the skin from Serizawa's flesh and the flesh from his bones until his bones were scraped dry and still he would not have suffered enough. Serizawa's time was limited and when he found himself teetering on the edge of oblivion, it will be my hands taking pleasure in giving him the final push.

"It wasn't our fault." Souji defended with a lightheartedly as he shrugged carelessly. "Seriously, they were the ones who started it."

"And we couldn't openly defy a chief's orders." Sannan-san added gravely while busying his hands with his glasses. No one could look Hijikata-san in the eye while those two tried to reason with him. There was no excuse for what had happened.

"I don't give a shit about your excuses!" Hijikata-san angrily yelled back. "So what if they picked a fight! Why the hell did you draw your sword against unarmed men?!"

"Then I'll split my gut for straying from the way of the warrior." Souji suddenly said very seriously and without skipping a beat in response to Hijikata-san's rage.

That misguided moron! Souji believed that in committing seppuku he could make himself useful to Otou-san when that was the furthest thing from the case. Souji's death would fix nothing, but instead make the situation worse. When you're dead, you can do nothing, but if you're alive then the possibilities are endless. And what about me? Did Souji adore Otou-san so much that I was not important? Sometimes I wondered if Souji really did love me as a person or if he was really in love with the fact that I was Kondou Isami's daughter. What he had said had really hurt. Even as his wife, I was probably less important to him than Otou-san was.

"Souji, what's gotten into you?!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed in alarm as he jumped from his seat to grab Souji by the shoulder. "This is no time for jokes."

"What joke?" Souji replied with a straight face. "I'm dead serious."

Just like how Hijikata-san couldn't take Souji's tone anymore, I couldn't either. Before Hijikata-san could yell anymore at Souji, a loud crack filled the air. Souji's face was forcefully turned to the side from the force of my slap and an angry red mark had already begun to form on the side of his face. No one said anything as Souji slowly turned to face me, his eyes wide in shock. Never in all the years he had known me had I ever directed my anger at him. There were times where I had become annoyed with him or upset with him, but I had never raised a hand against him in this manner. My normally gentle and nurturing disposition towards him had vanished in my boiling rage.

"You idiot! Just what do you think your death will fix?! A dead person can't fix his mistakes! And what about me or the other people you'll leave behind with death?! Do I matter that little to you?!" I yelled harshly at Souji.

Souji was frozen in shock and couldn't answer me. All he could manage was to stare at me wide-eyed with his hand on his cheek I slapped. I turned and stormed away from the compound when I got no answer. Souji didn't follow me or even call out to me as I stormed out of headquarters. As I arrived at a river near the outskirts of Mibu village, I wiped my face with my sleeves. Tears? When had I started to cry?

* * *

"Ah! There you are, Shizu-chan!" I heard Otou-san call out to me from behind.

I merely hugged my knees closer to my chest at the sound of Otou-san's voice. The sun had already set a couple of hours ago, but I couldn't bring myself to go back to the compound. I had thought briefly about going over to Kyoko-chan's house, but the strength had left my legs. All I did for the past couple of hours was sit on the riverbank and let the river wet the edge of my kimono. Otou-san approached me and sat down on the ground next to me.

"You didn't have to come looking for me." I said without looking at Otou-san. "I would have gone back eventually."

"What type of chichi would I be if I didn't go after my upset daughter?" he said with a gentle smile before he pulled me into his embrace. "You know Souji doesn't think before he speaks sometimes. Just because he said what he did does not mean that he doesn't love you."

"I know." I mumbled into Otou-san's chest. "It's just what he said really hurt."

"I know. I know. But Souji's hurting right now too." Otou-san counseled me as he pat my back gently. "The one who he usually runs to when he's hurt has run away from him."

I felt my heart clench painfully at Otou-san's words. Souji needed me, but I ran in the opposite direction. I was supposed to be helping him, not wallowing in my own pain.

"What… what happened in Osaka?" I asked Otou-san after a moment of silence. "I need you to tell me everything."

"Well, I wasn't there for most of the events, but this is what I put together from what Shimada-kun and Nagakura-kun told me…" Otou-san began.

_On June 3, the Roshigumi raided the ronin's hideout in Osaka. On the way back to the inn, we came across a group of drunken sumo wrestlers on a narrow bridge. Though it was a social norm for commoners to make way for samurai, the sumo wrestlers looked down on the Roshigumi and had no intention of moving. They even sneered at Serizawa-san when he ordered them to move. Unwilling to take the insult, Serizawa-san beat one of the wrestlers with his iron fan. Too shocked at the sudden assault, the sumo wrestlers did not stop Serizawa as he led the Roshigumi across the bridge._

_Back at the inn, after about an hour of rest, Yamazaki and Saito-kun had left the inn on business for Toshi while I had left for some other business. After I and those two had left, some sumo wrestlers had gathered outside of the inn. Each wrestler held a hexagon staff in hand. Everyone came out to see what was going on. Serizawa-san reprimanded the sumo wrestlers for their rude behavior towards samurai, but the sumo wrestlers sneered and attacked, so Serizawa-san ordered everyone to fight back. While everyone else was reluctant to draw swords at commoners, Souji drew his with a bellicose smile._

_"Why are you two speaking so naïvely? This is justifiable self-defense, isn't it?" Souji asked Nagakura-kun and Shimada-kun._

_"What are you thinkin', Souji!" cried Nagakura-kun. "They're not ronin! Think about the consequences if you kill them!"_

_"Even if you say so, do you think you can convince them to go back nicely?" questioned Souji._

_Even after the scuffle began, Nagakura-kun and Shimada-kun still refused to fight. They were soon in deep trouble since it was difficult to defend against a group of giants wielding hexagon staffs. Suddenly, the sumo wrestlers backed away. Souji was in the middle of the wrestlers swinging his sword like a windmill._

_"What is it?" Souji taunted. "You want a piece of me? Bring it on!"_

_The sumo wrestlers were frightened to see Souji bathed in blood while cackling. Regardless of the wrestlers just being commoners, Souji crushed them like mere insects._

_"How pitiful, Shinpachi-san and Shimada-san," Souji said, "unable to do anything because the wrestlers are commoners. Sure they aren't lawless ronin, but they picked a fight with us. Now isn't if proper manners to answer a challenge with all you have? Like this!"_

_Souji swung his sword again and again. The blood that had splashed back on to him had dyed his clothing black, but he didn't seem to mind. Stunned by the inhuman sight, the sumo wrestlers retreated and Souji sheathed his sword._

_"Geez. If they're going to flee with their tails between their legs, why come for revenge in the first place?" complained Souji._

_Nagakura-kun and Shimada-kun looked down silently, too exhausted to reply to him. It was then Sannan-kun rushed out of the inn. Shocked at the bloody scene, he demanded an answer from Nagakura-kun and Nagakura-kun briefly explained what happened._

_"Serizawa-san!" Sannan-kun yelled. "They are not ronin! What are you thinking, dealing with commoners like this?!"_

_"It's them to blame for showing such insolent behavior. To tolerate such an insult would bring disgrace upon a samurai's name." Serizawa-san said without a shred of guilt._

_Sannan-kun obviously wanted to debate, but didn't say anything because he knew it would be futile. So he dropped the matter and only asked everyone to stay in the inn to wait for me to return._

_"It's been a while since I had so much exercise. I need to go for a drink." Serizawa-san said, ignoring Sannan-kun's previous request._

_"Please wait a moment, Serizawa-san!" Sannan-kun tried to stop Serizawa-san from leaving. "It would be most troublesome if you don't stay and discuss the situation with Kondou-san!"_

_"Sannan, who do you think you're speaking to?" Serizawa-san said, clearly unpleased with how he was being addressed. "I am the Commander of the Roshigumi, while you're a Vice Commander. Why would I follow orders from you? If there's anything else you want to say, do it tomorrow. Give my regards to Kondou-kun."_

_With a victorious laugh, Serizawa-san turned and left._

_"It can't be helped." Nagakura-kun said to reassure Sannan-kun. "Let's wait for Kondou-san to come back and then decide what to do."_

_"… I suppose you're right." Sannan-kun replied wearily, and went back into the inn with Nagakura-kun._

_After they left, Souji started talking to himself._

_"Too bad." he said. "I wanted to slash a few more. Sumo wrestlers have so much fat on them that it's harder to cut through than I expected. And the grease on the blade made it trickier to grip."_

_"Do you not think this type of speech is inappropriate?" Shimada-kun scolded. "They are not lawless ronin, but drunkards looking for trouble! You did not really have to slash at them."_

_"I don't need to hear that from someone who refused to draw his sword." Souji snapped at Shimada-kun before returning back inside the inn._

_Souji really didn't feel a thing about killing. In his heart, the part about guilt and conscience were atrophied. Shimada-kun had felt a bit sick thinking about Souji's way of thinking and returned inside in silence._

_Later that night, I returned and Sannan-kun reported what had happened in the evening._

_"I'm sorry it turned out this way under my supervision." Sannan-kun bowed apologetically towards me._

_"What are you talking about, Sannan-san?" Souji asked lightheartedly. "It's those sumo wrestlers' fault for not yielding the road to Serizawa-san. Besides, it's not like they were unarmed. They wielded hexagon staffs. If we didn't fight back, we'd be the ones seriously hurt."_

_"Don't talk nonsense!" I yelled back angrily. "The ones you slashed today were not ronin who are a menace to the capital city! They are commoners. They have families and friends. They work hard to sustain their daily lives. They have their future ahead of them. Even if they have offended, did it ever occur to you that it's alright to forgive them? Isn't protecting the people what samurai are supposed to do? I didn't bring you out of Edo, all the way here, to do this kind of thing!"_

_Seldom would I ever roar with such rage. Everyone was at loss and didn't say a thing. Among them, the most surprised was the person getting yelled at. Souji didn't seem to understand why he was being scolded and just stood there frightened. The aloof attitude he showed all the time had completely vanished._

_The next day, Serizawa-san got up unusually early in the morning and went to tell me to go to the Osaka Magistrate's Office with him. When I asked why, Serizawa said that it was for filing a damage report for what had happened the night before._

_"Damage report?" I said, carefully choosing words to express my objection. "I disagree. The fight between the Roshigumi and the sumo wrestlers has already become neighborhood gossip. I don't see any good in adding fresh fuel to the flames."_

_"Don't see any good? Are you serious?" Serizawa-san questioned in disapproval. "If we show a timid attitude now, the ronin would disdain us even more and rampage the Kyoto-Osaka area._

_"But…"_

_"Mibu Roshigumi, being a samurai group, must not show any weakness to the enemy. Perhaps commoners tend to smooth things out, but that's not the samurai's way of handling things."_

_Although I disagreed, it's hard to say anything against the "samurai" talks, since I was born a commoner._

_"Anyway," Serizawa-san continued, "if you don't want to be involved in this, I don't mind going alone. The point is the fact that the 'Mibu Roshigumi' filed a damage report at the Osaka Magistrate's Office."_

_Serizawa-san left after he finished speaking. I made my decision and went with Serizawa-san._

_The officials in magistrate's office were surprised at what happened, but they filed the damage report without any problems. Afterwards, Serizawa-san left to go have a few drinks while Hirama-kun was ordered to go pack all of Serizawa-san's belongings. As soon as Serizawa-san left, I whispered some orders to Yamazaki and sent him away._

_When Yamazaki arrived back at the inn, he was followed by a middle-aged man with a really good physique. That man was the master of the sumo stable that the sumo wrestlers were from the night before._

_"My deepest apologies." the stable master apologized nervously with a deep bow. "I was shocked to hear that our youngsters have brought so much trouble to the Roshigumi. It is all due to my lack of discretion. Please forgive us."_

_"Please get up." I said humbly. "I didn't invite you here to demand an apology from you. I should apologize for what happened last night. We should be protecting civilians rather than hurting them. How are the wounded ones?"_

_"Well, not everyone was hurt badly…" the stable masters politely said, inferring that some were hurt badly._

_I understood the underlining message and replied woefully, "I'm really sorry about this. My daughter is a skilled physician and I could send for her to come and treat the wounded."_

_I then bowed so deeply that my forehead touched the floor._

_"Commander!" the stable master cried in pleasant surprise. Compared to the other commander, Serizawa-san, I showed the exact opposite attitude._

_"Please raise your head." the stable master continued. "Our youngsters told me the details of what happened last night. It's not the Roshigumi's responsibility alone."_

_The stable master's tone was obviously softer than it was when he first entered the room. My sincerity had moved him._

_Souji, who was quietly watching the stable master and me interact, finally decided to speak._

_"Excuse me…" Souji said meekly, but before he could say anything else, Sannan-kun stepped in_

_"Pardon my interruption." said Sannan-kun. "The departure time for our boat is drawing near. Regarding this issue, why don't we make a formal apology another day?"_

_"No, that's…a formal apology is too much. Sorry for bringing you all this trouble." said the stable master. "About what happened last night, don't let it bother you any further. You don't need to send your daughter to help. I know how conflicted it would make you feel to send your daughter into a house of nothing but men. Excuse me then."_

_After another deep bow, the stable master left the room._

_"Wait." said I. "Let me see you off."_

_I got up and caught up with him. Souji looked at me quietly and appeared to be more depressed._

I sat quietly after listening to what Otou-san had told me. No wonder Souji had said that he would be willing to commit seppuku. He wanted to make up to Otou-san for what he had done in Osaka, even though it was the wrong way. What was I doing here acting so glum and depressed when Souji needed me? My determination quickly returned to me as I jumped to my feet.

"Thanks for telling me everything." I said to Otou-san. "I'm going to go find Souji now."

Otou-san nodded at me with approval.

"Now all I need to do is to deal with Toshi's anger…" Otou-san mumbled to himself as I set off to Mibu temple. If Souji was depressed then he would be swinging a wooden sword around as practice.

* * *

I was correct in my assumption about where Souji would be. Even in the Hour of the Boar[1], Souji was still training nonstop at the Mibu temple. He was cover from head to toe in sweat as he continued to swing the wooden sword. I took a deep breath before I started my approach. Hearing a twig crack underneath my foot, Souji stopped swinging his sword and sharply turned to the source of the sound.

"Shizuka…" Souji said quietly with wide eyes, not quite believing I was here.

"You're going to catch a cold if you continue practicing while covered in sweat this late at night." I said softly with a small frown.

I took the sleeve of my kimono and wiped the sweat from his face. I paused for a few seconds after I finished wiping away the sweat to gently place a hand on his cheek. It was still an angry red color from when I slapped him this afternoon. Souji quickly place his hand over my hand that was on his cheek while looking down towards me sadly. I released his cheek and took his wooden sword from his other hand before placing it on the ground. I took both of his hands into mine before I spoke.

"I'm sorry for slapping you. I acted out in anger when I shouldn't have let my anger control me. I ran the other way when I should have been there for you. Please forgive me."

"Why… Why are you asking me to forgive you?" Souji asked quietly before he averted his gaze. "I was the one that wronged you, so why are you the one apologizing to me?"

I released his hands to cup his face to make him look back at me.

"Because instead of staying to try to find a way to solve the issue, I walked off. I wronged you too." I said while stroking his cheek with my thumb. "Now, instead of acting in anger, let's try to find a way to solve what happened in Osaka, okay?"

After I had finished speaking, Souji quickly engulfed me with his large frame. He wrapped his arms around me tightly as he pulled me against his chest.

"I'm sorry." he whispered softly against my ear.

"You don't have to apologize. I already know." I said while patting him on the back. "Let's go back now. We can find a way to resolve the issues after you've had a hot bath."

* * *

"Otou-san already told me the details of what happened in Osaka, so you don't have to spend any time catching me up." I told Souji as I knelt behind him on our futon, drying his hair from the bath. "Was there anything that caught your eye back in Osaka, especially about the sumo stable master?"

Truthfully, I already had the outlines of a plan formed in my mind, but I wanted to push Souji to think of a plan. He had always believed that his worth hinged on how useful he was to Otou-san as a weapon and I wanted him to see that he was more than that. I wanted him to know that I believed in him.

"…" Souji sat in silence before he spoke up. "He was perplexed at the difference between Kondou-san and Serizawa-san."

"In what way?" I urged him to dig deeper.

"Kondou-san's attitude was the complete opposite of Serizawa-san's. While Kondou-san was sincere and kind in his apology, Serizawa-san demanded the respect that came from his samurai status and treated the sumo wrestlers harshly." Souji elaborated.

"Maybe we can find a way to use this difference? Otou-san did say something about going back to make a formal apology."

"Kondou-san can return to Osaka to apologize and build up a connection with the stable master while he's there?"

"And?" I urged him to continue.

"Since Kondou-san's sincerity touched the stable master, it should be easier to build up a good relationship with the sumo wrestlers…and we can use that to ask for favors, like spreading the message that the rest of the Roshigumi is different from Serizawa-san! This should allow the Roshigumi to have a less difficult time in the Kyoto-Osaka area!" Souji jumped up when he put together the dots from my hints. "Not only that! If we have a good relationship with a stable master, he can put together a sumo performance for us that can help with our financial situation since sumo performances produce great sources of income!"

"That sounds like a pretty sound plan, don't you think so?" I asked with a sly smile.

Souji turned around and narrowed his eyes at me as he caught the smile on my face. "You planned that didn't you?"

I stood up and went to wrap my arms around his waist.

"I did, but I only dropped hints. I never actually told you anything. You put together this plan by yourself." I said before pecking him on the lips. "You are useful for more than just killing. Please don't forget that. I believe in you and you have many talents besides swordplay."

Souji grinned happily at me before he leaned back down to kiss me.

"Do those many talents include my wonderful talent in bed?" He asked mischievously as his playfulness returned.

I giggled uncontrollably as his fingers began to mercilessly tickle my sides.

"Maybe!" I squeaked between laughs. He cheered up rather fast.

Souji took my giggles to be a good sign as he stopped tickling me and directed me back towards our futon.

"We can tell the plan to Kondou-san and Hijikata-san tomorrow since it's so late. Both of them should be asleep by now." he said with good cheer before kissing the side of my neck and slipping a hand between my thighs through my sleeping robe. "But me on the other hand, I'm still a bit too wound up to sleep and I could use some help. You don't mind, do you?"

"No, I don't mind." I said softly as I allowed him to do what he wanted.

* * *

A few days later, both Hijkata-san and Otou-san were leaving for Osaka while the others were trying to dissuade them.

"But Kondou-san already apologized to the stable master." Shinpachi-san said with a puzzled expression.

"Yeah." Sano-san agreed. "And with Niimi's behavior lately, Hijkata-san shouldn't be away at a time like this."

"Silly." Hijikata-san said to everyone. "It's at times like this that I must go. Although it's not like we expected, we've finally made a connection with the sumo stable in Osaka. It'll be a waste if our relationship ends after an apology. We'll use this chance to make us better known. Unlike Serizawa-san, Kondou-san showed sincerity. That's a good start. At this rate we can spread the word that we're different from Serizawa-san. That'll give us less trouble with our duties in the Kyoto-Osaka area. Besides, a sumo performance would be a great source of income. This way we won't need to keep on depending on Shizuka and Kyoko financially, especially now since Shizuka isn't allowed to go out and raise money anymore."

"So that's why!" Heisuke exclaimed. "That's our Hijikata-san."

Shinpachi-san agreed wholeheartedly with Heisuke. "Shrewd indeed. All fish comes to the net. How did you come up with this plan?"

Hijikata-san turned towards Souji with new found respect and pride.

"I didn't come up with this plan. It's all thanks to Souji." Hijikata-san said like a proud parent.

"I couldn't have done this without Shizuka." Souji said fondly as he tightened the arm around my waist before he nuzzled the top of my head.

"Still, well done, Souji" Otou-san praised Souji proudly before he turned to leave.

"Travel safely, Kondou-san." Souji called out to Otou-san.

"I'm proud of you." Otou-san said to Souji with a smile just before he exited the room

Souji glowed at Otou-san's words. This had turned out a lot better than I had dared hoped for.

* * *

[1] A two hour period that is roughly from 9:00 p.m. to 11 p.m.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

"There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature." ― Jane Austen, _Northanger Abbey_

"Hmm… you're just as short as she described you to be." said a friendly, lighthearted voice from behind me as I was hanging the laundry.

"Eeek!" I jumped and embarrassingly shrieked at the sound of the voice.

Who was that and how come I didn't detect anyone? While I wasn't as sharp as everyone else, I was still fairly hard to sneak up on. I quickly twirled around to see an extremely handsome looking man smiling down at me.

This man was fairly well built, but not overly muscular like Shinpachi-san was aiming to be. His frame was fit, but also had a certain leanness to it along with the promise of hidden strength. His spiky, light black hair was shorter than that of the average hair that was deemed fashionable in Tokugawa Japan, but it was tastefully arranged as fell around the sides of his face. But out of all his features, it was his smoky gray eyes that stood out the most. His eyes were sharp and eagle-like despite the friendly look on his face.

His clothing was very clearly Japanese in nature but, at the same time, was very different from what the average man wore in Kyoto. He wore a formfitting black top with its long sleeves ending short above the elbow with another looser, green, short sleeved shirt worn over the black shirt. His pants were a dark gray color and worn in the same style as Shinpachi-san's pants. He had a large, wide, red sash tied around his waist and a long black scarf around his neck. The palms of his hands up to his lower arms were bound with dark red bandages. On the left side of his hip, a tachi[1] and a kodachi[2] were held in place by his sash.

"Ouch, that shriek hurt my feelings." the strange man said jokingly with a happy grin. Of all the times to leave my naginata propped up against the wall in my room.

"You're not hurt yet." I said with narrowed eyes after I composed myself. I quickly went to stomp on his toes, like one would when trying to step on an annoying insect.

The unknown stranger quickly hopped back with a blinking expression to dodge my foot.

"Hey! What was that for?" he whined almost pathetically. "She told me you were friendly…"

She? Who was she? As I opened my mouth to ask, a tired, winded voice from behind the compound walls called out.

"K-Kenji!" Kyoko-chan panted tiredly as she pulled herself up the other side of the wall. "W-wait for me! You're too fast!"

"Kenji?" I repeated after Kyoko-chan. This man was the childhood friend Kyoko-chan was supposed to marry?

I suddenly felt slightly envious of Kyoko-chan. She was going to have some really pretty children in the future. It was no wonder that Kyoko-chan told me that Kenji didn't mind her looking at other men. Seriously, with those looks, there was no competition. Kyoko-chan and Kenji were like one of those really good-looking supermodel couples in the future.

"You told me she was friendly," Kenji whined back to Kyoko-chan as she was pulling herself over the wall, "but she just tried to break my toes!"

"Of course I would do that!" I snapped back before Kyoko-chan could answer him. "You're a strange man that just broke into the Roshigumi's headquarters and you snuck up on me! How did you think I was going to react?!"

"Pfffttt!" Kyoko-chan snorted before she broke out into a fit of giggles at Kenji's puzzled expression. "She got you there."

As soon as Kyoko-chan managed to regain control over her giggles, she quickly grabbed Kenji's arms and brought him closer to where I was standing.

"Time for a proper introduction!" Kyoko-chan exclaimed. "This is Fuma Kenji and that is Okita Shizuka-chan!"

"Ah," I said before straightening myself up and bowing, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Kenji-san."

"Yeah, you too." he said while rubbing the back of his head sheepishly before nodding back at Kyoko-chan with a serious look.

"Hey, Shizuka-chan." Kyoko-chan said seriously while making eye contact with me. "Is Hijikata in? I have information on Yukimura Kodo."

"He and Otou-san are currently in Osaka right now, but—"

"Both of them should return later this afternoon." Sannan-san said, interrupting my answer, as he turned the corner of a nearby building.

"Sannan-san?" I asked. When did he get here?

"I rushed here at the sound of your little shriek." Sannan-san answered me with a friendly smile before turning to Kyoko-chan. "Is what you found serious?"

"Yes, but what I have must be said directly to Hijikata." Kyoko-chan said to Sannnan-san before looking around cautiously. "Especially because it involves the Water of Life."

Sannan-san's eyes widened in shock as silently turned to me to demand an answer. I shook my head at Sannan-san with equal shock. I never told her about the Water of Life. How did Kyoko-chan and Kenji-san know about it? Was the Roshigumi's dirty little secret not as well kept as we had hoped?

"How do you know about the Water of Life?" I questioned seriously.

"I'm sure you know that the Bakufu obtained it through trade before passing it off to Yukimura Kodo to improve." Kenji-san said with a hard look. "Zero points for guessing which merchant family was used to obtain it for the Bakufu in the first place."

"Why don't you come inside to wait? Both Kondou-san and Hijikata-kun are scheduled to return in about an hour." Sannan-san said as he led both Kyoko-chan and Kenji-san inside before calling out to me. "Go ask someone to accompany you to wait for them to arrive at the harbor as soon as you're done hanging the laundry."

I nodded at Sannan-san before quickly I finished hanging the laundry messily and ran off to find Saito-san. He didn't have patrol until later today, so he was probably practicing at Mibu temple.

* * *

"What do you think Kyoko-chan found on Yukimura?" I asked Saito-san while sitting on a bench near the harbor. Saito-san was standing next to me as he leaned against the wall with crossed arms.

"It must be something serious if Wakahisa-san wanted to speak directly to the Vice Commander without irritating him first." Saito-san answered before pushing off the wall. "Let us go. I see the ferry docking."

I nodded before padding off after Saito-san. Both of us greeted Hijikata-san and Otou-san as they stepped off the ramp and back onto dry land. With one look, Hijikata-san was able to deduce that Saito-san and I were not here to welcome them back and immediately asked us what happened.

"What happened?" Hijikata-san asked with hardened eyes. "Did Niimi-san do something while we were away?"

"No, that's not it." I answered. "I kept Niimi busy by lacing his food with a potent laxative. He's spent most of his time occupying the facilities rather than working on his project."

"Shizu-chan!" Otou-san scolded me. "There are other ways to distract the man rather than to do that!"

"You what?" Hijikata-san asked at my statement with a stunned expression. "Nevermind. So what happened?"

I merely shrugged unapologetically before focusing my attention back onto Saito-san.

"Wakahisa-san arrived at headquarters an hour ago with information regarding Yukimura Kodo and she wants to speak directly to you." Saito-san said.

"I see." Hijikata-san said before looking at Otou-san. Both men then followed both Saito-san and I back to headquarters.

* * *

"Who are you?" Hijikata-san immediately asked when he saw Kenji-san sitting on the floor next to Kyoko-chan with Sannan-san. Saito-san had left for patrol as soon as we arrived back at the headquarters.

"I'm Fuma Kenji." he answered. "I'm sure you've heard of me from Kyoko."

"But that doesn't tell me why you're here."

"He's here because I was having trouble finding information on Yukimura Kodo and his information network is larger than mine." Kyoko-chan said, cutting the conversation short.

"Information network?" questioned Otou-san. "How do you have an information network? Aren't you a merchant?"

"Yes, but I also come from a ninja clan with a vast information network." Kenji-san explained nonchalantly.

"Ninja clan?! That's quite shocking to hear!" Otou-san said in awesome wonder.

"Back to the main reason we're here." Kyoko-chan said to steer the conversation back on track. "I was having difficulty finding information on Yukimura Kodo. For a supposedly normal, Dutch trained doctor, he covers up his movements fairly well. All I managed to dig up was that he had a daughter back in Edo and that he was either not married or his wife died and he never remarried. I had to ask Kenji to help me to find some more meaningful information on Yukimura Kodo."

"He's from, or rather was from the large Yukimura clan further up north in the countryside." Kenji-san continued on in Kyoko-chan's place before he was stopped by Sannan-san.

"What do you mean 'was'?"

"The Yukimura clan no longer exists." answered Kenji-san. "Twelve years ago, the Western domain ordered the Yukimura clan to fight for them, but the Yukimura clan refused claiming that they prefer to live in peace. The Western domain retaliated to their refusal by burning down their village and killing everyone in sight. Yukimura Kodo and his daughter are the only known clan members that managed to survive and escape the slaughter. Now for the important parts: when the Bakufu was looking for skilled doctors to improve the Water of Life—"

"Wait! How do you know about the Water of Life?!" Otou-san interrupted in alarm.

Kenji-san sighed at the abrupt interruption with annoyance, "My family was the family that the Bakufu used to obtain the Water of Life through trade. Anyways, Yukimura Kodo actually volunteered himself when he and a small group of doctors received summons from the Bakufu. It seemed like he already knew what the Water of Life was before the Bakufu gave their explanation. I remember the amount of glee I saw on his face when the Bakufu handed off the project to him at the meeting—"

"You were at that meeting?" Kenji-san was interrupted again, but this time by Hijikata-san."

"Yes." Kenji-san said with annoyance. "Stop interrupting me. If you have something to ask then ask it after explanations are done. I hate being interrupted. Back to the subject… Given that his tragic past and the glee he showed when given the Water of Life project by the Bakufu, I assume that he intends to use the completed Water of Life for his own purposes. Perhaps he means to get revenge on the Western domain for their trespasses or maybe he had a high from experiencing the trill of holding such power in his hands."

A tense silence filled the room after Kenji-san had finished speaking. If Yukimura had his own intentions in improving the Water of Life, using the Bakufu's orders as an excuse, he would be using the Roshigumi as his guinea pig and develop the Water of Life to his own usefulness, whatever it may be.

"What should we do?" I asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over the room. We couldn't let Yukimura use the Roshigumi like this.

"There's nothing we can do at the moment." Hijikata-san answered with closed eyes. "All we have is an assumption and not actual proof at the moment. All we can do for now is watch Kodo-san closely. We can only take action if we get proof or he makes a mistake."

A mistake? When will that be? According to Kyoko-chan, this man was a master at cloaking his own movements and he had a perfect mask on all the time. By the looks on everyone's faces, everyone was thinking the exact same thing.

Hijikata-san opened his eyes and turned to Kenji-san, "You said you have an information network. How big and how good is it?"

Kenji smirked confidently before presenting his answer, "My family's network covers from the Satsuma domain all the way to the Hirosaki domain. As for how good it is, I just gave you information regarding the secretive Yukimura clan, so why don't you tell me how good it is?"

"How would you like to work with the Roshigumi?" Hijikata-san smirked back, impressed by Kenji-san's confidence. "You don't have to join the Roshigumi as an official member. Think of it as a partnership."

"Haven't I already started to work with the Roshigumi?" was all Kenji-san said to Hijikata-san. "I'd say we're already partners."

"Besides, Shizuka-chan's and I are like shimai[3] and family helps family, right?" Kyoko-chan added on to Kenji-san's statement with a smile as she reached over to grab my hands.

* * *

"Sensei, do you have a moment to talk?" Yamazaki-san asked me as he entered my lab space.

After that little encounter with Souji on the day that he joined the Roshigumi, Yamazaki-san had settled on just calling me Sensei. If he called me by my first name then he would ignite the wrath of Souji and if he called me by my new last name then he would get me and Souji get mixed up quite a bit. Sensei was a good median to him. It was showed respect and there was a certain amount of closeness to it due to the slight teacher-student relationship we had going on.

"Sure." I answered cheerfully while putting down the flask. "What do you need?"

"Are you aware that the Vice Commander created a new post called the Inspectors?"

"Oh! Yeah he mentioned it to me briefly and told me that you'd explain the rest. So what do the Inspectors do?" I asked curiously.

"The Inspectors will investigate matters both inside and outside the Roshigumi. Both Shimada-san and I will be filling the post." said Yamazaki-san.

"So Hijikata-san wants to keep a closer eye on Serizawa and Niimi?" I asked. That had to be the main reason.

"Yes, or as the Vice Commander puts it, 'putting the bell on the cat'. This was also done to keep the Water of Life a secret. With these new duties, I will be busier and may not have as much time to spend learning new medical techniques." explained Yamazaki-san. "I will also be training with Fuma-san to improve my information gathering abilities."

"I see… I can lighten up your workload, but keep in mind that there are some medical techniques I will still be requiring for you to learn. Let me know if you ever feel like you're being overworked, okay?"

"Yes, Sensei!"

Yamazaki-san was going to be really busy soon with his double post as medical assistant and inspector. I only hoped that he wouldn't be overworked, but Yamazaki-san was a talent man and had really good time management skills, so maybe the double post would be more doable for him than for other people.

* * *

"Ohhh…that feels good..." Souji groaned from his seat as I rubbed the spot between his shoulder blades to loosen up his muscles in our room at night.

Right after patrolling all afternoon, Souji went over to the Mibu temple to train without taking a break first. I had noticed that he looked a bit stiff during dinner and had later learned that he had been training nonstop since his patrol ended and only stopped when it was time for dinner. I doubt that it was his first time doing this. There were other nights when I noticed the same stiffness in his back. Souji always pushed himself hard, but it wasn't healthy for him if he continued to push himself this hard without rest.

"I know you want to continue to improve, but pushing yourself continuously without rest is unhealthy." I scolded from my kneeled position behind him as I continued to knead the spot I had just pressed. "If you get sick or obtain a chronic injury then all your hard work will be undone."

"Mmm…" he hummed happily as he ignored my warning. "I need to keep practicing because Kondou-san will need skilled swordsmen. Besides I like it when you massage my back like this."

"If you want a back massage then all you have to do is to ask for one," I pointed out, "not overwork yourself every day to get one."

"But it's more satisfying to get one after a hard day of work." he said with a pout as he turned his head towards me.

I sighed at him before giving him a small smile. "Fine, but you need to stop being so picky with your food. Instead of giving me all your green onions, you should eat them."

"Boo."

"And you need to at least have one day of rest between your training days."

"Boo."

"Stop saying 'boo' at me."

"Boo." he said with a smirk just to irk me.

There was just no winning with him. I narrowed my eyes, I wasn't going to lose that easily. As I moved to playfully whack him on the shoulder, he quickly moved his shoulder out of the way and pulled me into his lap by grabbing my outstretched arm.

"I win." he whispered into my ear. Darn it.

"Why do I always lose?" I grumbled in his lap. These little playful moments were always fun, but I always lost in our little games and losing all the time gets old rather fast.

"Because I'm just that much faster." he said with a smug grin before his expression softened as he moved his arms so that a hand rested on my lower abdomen.

"Souji?" I called, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen over us. "What is it?"

"Just thinking." he said before pressing a light kiss on top of my head.

"About?"

"The future and the day we'll become parents. Hopefully that won't be too far off." he said while pressing his hand firmly but gently against my belly before changing the topic. "Do you remember when we first met?"

"It's one of my fondest memories." I said while thinking back. "Though I didn't know it at the time. I remember handing you that sakura branch when we first met."

"Oh! That's right! I still have that branch somewhere in a box." Souji exclaimed.

"Eh? Really, but that was so long ago." I said in surprise. I would have expected him to throw it away, especially because he wasn't a happy child when we first met.

"Yeah, I never threw it away."

"Oh. I would have expected you to. You didn't look too happy when we first met and you definitely didn't want to spend any time with me at the time."

"Yeah, I guess so…. My ane[4] had just left me when Kondou-san agreed to take me in. My first thought when I saw you was that I didn't need someone younger and smaller than me pitying me. Interesting how things turn out."

"Yes." I softly agreed as I snuggled closer to him. I liked it when he wanted to cuddle. "Who knew we would get married."

"You were always a source of interest." Souji said, continuing down memory lane, though it seemed like he was talking to himself more than me now. "You were so small, but you never acted your age. While there were kids that tried to act like adults, you didn't have to act. You always understood most things almost instantly. There was so much strength in your small frame and even more gentleness. You always spent more time looking out for me rather than yourself."

Souji fell silent once more after speaking. After pondering on whatever he was thinking about in the short silence, he looked me in the eye with a gentle, yet unreadable, expression.

"You would make a great haha." he said quietly with a ghost of a smile as he began to rub my belly with his hand.

"Really?" I asked doubtfully.

Me a mother? I wanted children, but I always thought I would make a terrible mother because of my terrible habit of spoiling everyone, especially those closest to me. If I had a kid, then it probably would be spoiled beyond all belief.

"What? You don't believe me?" he asked with a slight frown.

"No, it's not that. I just always thought I would make a terrible okaa-san." I explained. "I have a horrible habit of spoiling everyone close to me too mu—"

"AAHHHHWAHH!" a shout rang out through the night followed by a loud thud.

Souji and I froze at that loud cry before springing into action. I only heard one cry like that before. It had to be another rasetsu, but Sannan-san wouldn't be doing an experiment right now, especially without telling everyone. This had to be Niimi's fault. I grabbed my naginata and followed Souji out the door towards the source of that cry. We had to get there now to deal with the rasetsu! It would spell disaster for us if the normal soldiers of the Roshigumi found out about the Water of Life or if the rasetsu managed to escape.

"What the hell was that?!" Hijikata-san asked both me and Souji as he joined us as we ran towards the disturbance.

"How do you think I would know?" Souji replied with annoyance and sarcasm as we approached our destination. "I can't see through walls."

Hijikata-san opened his mouth to retaliate but was interrupted before he could actually say anything.

"What was that?!" Heisuke asked as he and the others joined our little group.

"It came from the back!" answered Shinpachi-san as he ran up to us from behind.

Everyone arrived at the location were the cry had originated only to find Ibuki-kun falling to his knees with the look of intense fear etched on to his face.

"Ryunosuke," Heisuke immediately cried out, "what happened? Are you okay?"

"Hijikata-san!" Shinpachi-san said, quickly pointing out the giant hole smashed into the side of the Maekawa house.

Hijikata-san's eyes widened in horror when he realized what must have happened. He quickly turned to Ibuki-kun.

"Where did he go?!" he forcefully demanded an answer from Ibuki-kun.

Still unable to recover from his intense fear, all Ibuki-kun could do was shakily point in the direction the rasetsu ran while making unintelligent sounds.

"After him!" Hijikata-san ordered fiercely. "Souji! Shizuka! Sannan-san!" he then listed the people who were to go with him.

We quickly followed Hijikata-san through the hole in the Maekawa house and into the building to investigate what happened to result in the escape of the rasetsu while the others sped out of the headquarters to find the escaped rasetsu. Unsurprisingly, we found Niimi picking up his notes inside, at the scene of the crime.

"D-Do you need something?" Niimi asked nervously while hugging his notes to his chest as we approached with Hijikata-san in the lead.

"Don't play dumb!" Hijikata-san barked out angrily. "That was a rasetsu's voice."

The word 'rasetsu' must have been the magic word. Once hearing that word, Niimi's nervous mask shattered and became one of panic as he froze in place.

"Want to die?" Souji asked with a dark look as he pushed his katana slightly out of its sheath with his thumb while I raised my naginata in a threatening manner.

That did the trick. Niimi now openly displayed his fear and as it looked like he was about to beg for us to spare his life, Serizawa appeared while looking totally relaxed and unconcerned at what caused the loud disturbance in the first place.

"What's all the commotion?" Serizawa asked before scolding us. "You're making a ruckus."

Niimi quickly and pathetically scrambled behind Serizawa for protection as we turned to face the relaxed man that had just appeared.

"I-I was just testing the Water of Life." Niimi fearfully explained.

"Who did you administer it to?" Hijikata-san snarled while stepping forward.

"Not one of our own. I used the ronin that Serizawa-sensei arrested." Niimi said as he referred to the ronin that was arrested earlier today as he defended himself from behind Serizawa while shivering in fear.

"Niimi-san, why did you do that without consulting us?" Sannan-san angrily scolded the cowering man.

"I did it to improve our results faster! Plus it wasn't a COMPLETE failure this time. He was able to retain his senses at first."

"But ultimately, you allowed a monster that will indiscriminately attack people break free." Hijikata-san said, completely unimpressed at Niimi's flimsy defense. "How will you take responsibility for this?"

"E-even if you wanted me to take responsibility…" Niimi stammered before looking to Serizawa with hope that Serizawa would intervene.

"Henceforth," Hijikata-san yelled harshly causing Niimi to flinch, "I will not keep my peace with you. Breaking the Code is punishable by seppuku! Don't forget that."

"I-I will be sure to bear that in mind." Niimi said with absolute fear while covered in cold sweat at Hijikata-san's words and glare while Serizawa smirked at Hijikata-san's fierce expression.

"Souji! Shizuka! Go help the other's with the search!" Hijikata-san ordered shortly after Serizawa left the room with Niimi scrambling behind him. "Sannan-san and I will go deal with the soldiers in the barracks. They were bound to have heard all the commotion and are probably wondering what's going on."

"Understood." I answered while nodding at Souji before splitting from Hijikata-san and Sannan-san.

"Man." Souji complained. "This wasn't how I wanted to spend our night."

"It can't be helped. Let's focus for now. We need to catch that rasetsu before it has the chance to attack anyone."

* * *

[1] A tachi (太刀) was a type of traditionally made Japanese sword (nihontō) worn by the samurai class of feudal Japan. The tachi style of swords preceded the development of the katana — the first use of the word katana to indicate a blade different from tachi appears toward the end of the twelfth century.

[2] A kodachi (小太刀 atau こだち), literally translating into "small or short tachi (sword)", is one of the traditionally made Japanese swords (nihontō) used by the samurai class of feudal Japan. Kodachi are from the early Kamakura period (1185–1333) and are in the shape of a tachi. Kodachi are mounted in tachi style but with a length of less than 60 cm.

[3] Japanese word for sisters.

[4] Used to address one's older sister.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

"How wonderful it would be if people did all they could for one other without seeking anything in return! One should never remember a kindness done, and never forget a kindness received." ― Kentetsu Takamori

"I see. So you let it escape…" Otou-san said after Heisuke's report on what had happened last night.

We had all failed to capture and dispose of the escaped rasetsu from last night and now sat in the main hall, exhausted, in a meeting to discuss what should be done regarding the situation. I leaned my tired frame against Souji as the morning rays began to filter into the room. Everyone was exhausted after that long fruitless night. After the rasetsu escaped headquarters last night, we had all split up and searched Kyoto before the sun rose. Because of the relatively little manpower we could use to look for the rasetsu, our efforts went wasted when Heisuke allowed the rasetsu to escape after encountering it once with Ibuki-kun.

"At any rate, he can't move in the day. He should be in hiding somewhere. Continue your patrols throughout the day like normal." Hijikata-san ordered. "Don't let the other members catch on."

"The true race will begin after the sun sets." Sannan-san added while pushing his glasses higher up his nose. "I shall join you tonight."

As soon as Sannan-san finished speaking, Heisuke suddenly slammed both of his fists against the ground as he prostrated himself on the floor in front of Hijikata-san.

"Hijikata-san, I'm sorry!" Heisuke cried in distress.

"N-No!" Ibuki-kun rushed in to defend his friend. "It's my fault that Heisuke—"

"I hesitated!" Heisuke continued, interrupting Ibuki-kun. "Even though he's a monster, he was once a person. He wasn't someone I would have originally killed…"

"That hesitation could lead to even more victims." Hijikata-san said firmly, voicing the harsh truth before standing up. "Heisuke, there won't be a second time."

Heisuke remained in his dogeza as everyone began to filter out of the room. Poor Heisuke, he had a strong moral sense, but it seemed that it was a hindrance in this case. Sometimes the best choice was one that was morally wrong. The death of that single rasetsu could have prevented the death of many possible victims.

"Shizuka," Souji said quietly as he pulled me to my feet, "you should go get some sleep. You look completely spent."

"I'm sure everyone else does too." I replied quietly with a tired smile. "I need to speak to Heisuke first, and then cook some food for everyone as a pick-me-up before I go get some rest. You need to get some rest in too before the search resumes tonight, okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry. I won't overwork myself." he said before leaving the room with the other guys.

When everyone, but Heisuke had left the room, I went to his side and placed a gentle hand on his back.

"You should get up now." I said softly to Heisuke, referring to his bowed position. "While remaining in a dogeza may show everyone how sorry you are, it will ultimately not solve the problem."

Heisuke still remained in his dogeza after I finished speaking. He tightened his fists at my words before uttering a single word.

"How?"

"'How' what?" I asked, not understanding what he was asking.

He raised his head and looked me in the eye, as if he were searching for an answered lost deep within me.

"How were you able to kill that rasetsu that night without hesitation or remorse?" he clarified. "While you do know how to fight, you weren't trained as a warrior. You weren't trained to kill. So how?"

"Because I killed that rasetsu for the sake of protecting my loved ones, not for the sake of killing." I answered gently, "Protecting those important to you is very different from killing in cold-blooded murder."

"That man was a ronin, but he wasn't someone I would have killed in the first place. While he may have done some bad things, he wasn't a murderer. He doesn't deserve death. How can you kill someone like that?"

"He may have originally been someone you would not have killed, but he is an out-of-control rasetsu now. What he once was has no bearing on what he is now. Sometimes a single death can save many lives. It is the burden of the guardian to deliver that killing blow to ensure that the people he is supposed to protect remain safe." I explained. "You would not only be protecting the people when you kill him, but you would also be showing the man mercy."

"How would I be showing that man mercy when I'm the one ending his life?" Heisuke asked, feeling conflicted.

"Do you think that man would have wanted to become what he is now?" I asked gently. "If he wanted to just go around killing people indiscriminately, then he would have become a serial killer instead of a robber. That man did not want to live like the creature he has become. Some fates are worse than death."

"… I see…" Heisuke said, tearing his eyes away from mine to stare at the ground. "Will I ever become accustom to killing?"

"Some do and some don't. If you can't that does not mean you're weak. You know what is right and what is wrong with an uncompromising conscience and will not yield just because the other path is easier. That is the mark of a strong man, not a weak man."

"How is it you always know what to say, Shizuka?" he asked me with a small smile after a moment of silence. "It's almost like you have the experience of a previous life to draw on."

"Yeah, strange isn't it?" I said with a smile of my own as I stood up and pulled Heisuke up to his feet. He has no clue how close he was with that statement. "But I can't say I got this from any previous life. I learned this when I decided to pick up a weapon and learn how to defend myself. I'm going to the kitchen now to cook something for everyone to eat to refresh their strength. Do you want to help me?"

"Yeah… Thanks." Heisuke said as he followed me into the kitchen.

* * *

The sun was setting. It was time to continue the search for the rasetsu. The search during the day had proved fruitless when no clues that could have lead to the rasetsu's whereabouts was found. Everyone, including Ibuki-kun, was now gathering in the main hall as we all prepared for the night's search.

"Outsiders must not learn of the Bakufu's secret elixir." said Sannan-san when everyone arrived at the main hall.

"And we cannot allow people to fall victims to the rasetsu's hands." added Otou-san.

"We will finish things tonight." said Hijikata-san. "We'll work in pairs so if someone finds the rasetsu, he won't be alone. Shinpachi you're with Harada, Souji with Gen-san, Saito with Sannan-san, Heisuke with Shizuka, and finally Kondou-san and I. Don't let it get away."

"Right!" everyone replied before we began to trickle out the room in our pairs. This was going to be another long night.

"Heisuke," Ibuki-kun called out as we all began to leave the compound for the search, "please take me with you and Shizuka!"

"Ryunosuke…" Heisuke said as he paused to look back at Ibuki-kun. I stopped walking to wait for Heisuke as soon as he had paused walking.

"I'm partly responsible for him getting away." Ibuki-kun reasoned. "And couldn't you use an extra pair of eyes?"

"Yeah, but…" Heisuke started, but stopped when he saw the determination in Ibuki-kun's eyes. That determination was something Heisuke understood well. "Got it. But in exchange, please do whatever I tell you. No matter what, don't do anything risky!"

"Okay!" Ibuki-kun exclaimed in appreciation.

"Let's go." I said before we set off again.

For a creature with no form of any of type logic, that rasetsu was notoriously difficult to locate. Hours had passed and there was not a single sign that could point us to the rasetsu. Maybe we were going about the search the wrong way? It no longer operated on the logic that normal humans did, so how was it making its choices of where to go and what to do? Too bad the first rasetsu didn't live long enough for us to determine why it was always attacking humans.

"Hey, guys?" I called out to Heisuke and Ibuki-kun to grab their attention.

"What is it?" asked Heisuke as he and Ibuki-kun paused to look at me.

"We all know that rasetsu have no power of thought, so how does it decide where to go and what to do? If we can figure out what drives its actions then wouldn't it be easier to predict its movements?"

"Oh, that makes sense." Ibuki-kun answered as he put his thumb on his chin. "If we can figure out the pattern in its actions then we'll know where to look."

"Well," said Heisuke, "we know it doesn't like lights, but attacks people... That means that it won't be near the main streets. There are the most people on the main streets, but there are too many lights because of that."

"It attacks people, but I get the feeling that it'll run away if there are too many people." I said. "Remember when it ran away last night? It ran away because everyone came running to the source of the disturbance. But why does it attack people?"

"What do you mean 'why'?!" asked Ibuki-kun. "It's a monster and that's what monsters do right?"

"It's never as simple as that. All things happen for a reason. We can't say that 'it attacks people just because', right?" I pointed out. "There must be a reason it attacks people… something that it's after? Maybe it eats humans?"

"Gah!" cried Heisuke while looking sick. "Don't say something nasty like that!"

"That's seriously gross." Ibuki-kun agreed with a disgusted expression. "But she does have a point. We should search the back alleys between the buildings. It's dark back there with people occasionally passing through to get home—"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" a woman's scream rang through the night from a close location. Don't tell me that it's a victim.

"Over there!" Heisuke shouted, taking the lead as we ran into a backstreet, towards the source of the scream.

We came to a stop at a dead end as we spotted the escaped rasetsu on the roof of a building with the moon as its backdrop. Ibuki-kun's eyes widened in slight terror as Heisuke hardened his gaze and gripped the handle of his sword. Following Heisuke's example, I grabbed my own weapon and readied it in front of me.

"Ryunosuke, look after that lady." Heisuke ordered as he pulled his sword free of its scabbard. "Shizuka, check the lady for any injuries. This is my fight, don't get involved."

"Alright." I answer before running after Ibuki-kun to go inspect the woman. There were no injuries on her. She must have fainted from fright.

As soon as Heisuke drew his sword, the rasetsu leapt from the roof to smash Heisuke. Heisuke quickly leapt to the left causing the rasetsu's attack to miss. The smash hit the ground causing a miniature crater to form around the rasetsu's fist. Without a pause, the creature lashed out at Heisuke with its foot only to miss again as Heisuke jumped back. The creature tirelessly resumed its attack after each miss as Heisuke continued to dodge. While it was excellent that Heisuke was dodging every attack, he hadn't attacked back yet even though there were many opportunities to. He was still hesitating. There was no way he could subdue the creature without attacking it with the intent to kill.

"Heisuke!" I cried as I grabbed my weapon when Heisuke was backed into the wall of the dead end. This rasetsu was stronger than then first one if I judged it by the damage it was doing to the surroundings from each missed attack. It was over if Heisuke got hit.

"Stay back!" Heisuke yelled back at me as he rolled out of the way of the rasetsu's lunge.

Unable to stop itself, the rasetsu's attack hit the building that was once behind Heisuke at full force. From the power behind the attack, the wall could not stop the rasetsu as it smashed through the building causing the side of the building to collapse.

Shit. How were we going to cover that up? It was easy to hide a single rasetsu from the public eye, but the damage caused by one? Not so much.

Completely unfazed by the damage it did to itself from that missed attack, the creature stood up again to face Heisuke. The arm that was mangled from punching through the wall made disturbing popping sounds as the broken bones forced themselves back into place to heal. It was at that moment Heisuke must of have realized something. Heisuke hardened himself as the rasetsu rushed at him with unparalleled speed. With a single, skilled slash of his sword, Heisuke injured the creature as it lunged past him. The creature landed in an injured heap behind Heisuke as it slowly began to heal again. Heisuke approached the downed creature and raised his sword over his head before he brought it down to stab the creature in the heart, splattering blood all over his front. The rasetsu cried out in pain while twitching before it permanently stilled. The rasetsu was dead. It was over now.

Heisuke stood hunched over the dead rasetsu with his sword still in it as he panted over his actions. Sensing something was amiss, Ibuki-kun approached Heisuke with concern.

"Heisuke, are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah…" Heisuke answered with a strained voice as he pulled his sword out of the corpse. "How's the lady?"

"She only passed out from fright." I answered instead.

"Thank the gods…" Heisuke said with relief before he sadly stared at his bloodstained hands. "I choose to walk the path of the warrior. I will cut down any one who stands against my beliefs. So I am going to continue to kill, to kill and to kill… But will I ever grow accustom to this…?"

"… Heisuke…" I said sadly as I went to hug him to comfort him. "You might never grow accustom to killing, but you'll never be alone. Your friends will never let you suffer on your own, please don't forget that."

"… Shizuka… you're getting blood on yourself." Heisuke said despite dropping his sword to hug me back.

"I know, but I don't care." I answered. "Everything will be alright."

The aftermath of that fight was difficult to deal with. In the end, the damage from the fight had to be hidden using an "accidental fire" that started from a "dropped lantern." The woman that was attacked that night, thankfully, did not remember much of her encounter with the rasetsu and assume that it was just a rapist on the loose and that the Roshigumi had saved her from being raped. The ruckus from the fight, however, was the most difficult to deal with. People had heard the fight and they weren't stupid. They had known that something rather serious was going on and we were lucky that no one came to investigate the loud sounds. To clear up all suspicions, we had to get Kyoko-chan and Kenji-san to spread rumors of a fight between ronin to blame the noise and the "fire" on. All in all, the mess resulting from the escaped rasetsu cleaned up rather well with no loose ends, besides Niimi.

* * *

One would think that after we dealt with that single escaped rasetsu that things would calm down more, but the opposite was the case. Unwilling to have another situation where another rasetsu could actually manage to escape the headquarters, Hijikata-san, Sannan-san, and Otou-san had increased surveillance over Niimi. The duties for the other captains also became heavier despite having a few new recruits to depend upon. However, one could argue that the captains' duties became heavier because of the recruits. Training up the new recruits did take time and effort. So, even late into the Hour of the Dog, Souji had not returned from his duties yet. He and Saito-san were both stuck with late night patrols for the week and were made instructors of the new recruits on top of that. I quietly worked on my medical notes in the privacy of Souji's and mine room as I waited for Souji to return. As I was finishing up a diagram of the arteries and veins in the human body, the door slid open and Souji entered the room with a tired sigh before he closed the door again.

"Stupid moron…" he mutter under his breath as he removed his swords from his hip and placed them on the stand above his side of the futon. "Of course a real sword is going to be heavier than a bamboo sword. It IS made from metal…"

"A long day?" I asked sympathetically as I rose from my seated position and went to go hug him from behind.

"You try dealing with idiots the whole day and then tell me how you feel." he said as he relaxed into my embrace and put his hands over mine.

"That would be trying for anyone." I snorted as I let my one of my hands fall to his lower regions before I cupped him through the cloth of his pants. "Need me to help you de-stress from the day?"

"Ohhh…" he groaned from my touch as he eagerly pressed his pelvis into my hand. "Well, I certainly won't refuse it if you're offering."

Souji turned around to slowly kiss me on the lips before he slipped his tongue into my mouth to meet my tongue. He ran his hands up and down my waist before quickly moving his hands to pull the cord holding up my hakama loose. Without the cord holding it in place, my hakama dropped to the floor as my hakamashita fell open. Slowly removing his lips from mine, he dragged his lips slowly downwards and latched on to my left breast when my breast came into the proximity of his mouth.

"Mmm… Souji…" I quietly sighed in pleasure as he began to suck on my nipple while his hands went to hold my hips in place as he pressed his growing erection against my lower stomach.

I pulled his hair out of his topknot before running my fingers through his hair. I quickly removed my kanzashi from my hair afterwards and pulled my hair out of its bun before working to remove Souji's clothing. As soon as I removed the last offending piece of clothing, Souji released my breast and moved back up to kiss me on the lips before picking me up bridal-style and walking towards the futon. Thankfully, on the way to the futon, he grabbed a spare towel and laid it on top of the futon before placing me on top. Knowing that I would have to spend the morning washing out the futon would have really killed my mood and, thankfully, Souji thought of that.

After laying me on top of the towel on the futon he crawled over me and nipped the tip of my ear.

"So," he whispered sensationally into my ear as his hot breath tickled me, "is there anything you would like me to do?"

I let loose a small giggle as his fingers lightly brushed against my bare navel.

"Surprise me." I whispered coyly back to him as I ran a single hand down his waist before resting it on his hip.

"Surprise you, huh?" he said with a sly grin before lowering himself to press a kiss directly above my womb. "Alright then, where should I start? Hmm…I know…"

With gentle pressure, he rubbed my inner thighs with his hands before spreading my legs and rubbing the small nub above my opening.

"Oh…" I quietly moaned at his administrations.

"Always so quiet, huh?" Souji chuckled. "Just like your namesake. Let's see if I can get you to cry out louder before tonight ends." he said before increasing the friction before pushing a finger into me.

"Ah! Souji!" I gasped out as my hip buckled up against his hands.

"Louder than before, but still not loud enough." he said with a wolfish grin before slowly pushing another finger into me while speeding up his administrations.

I cried out once more as Souji decided to begin pumping his fingers in and out of me with one hand and sped up rubbing my nub with the other. Then he suddenly stopped and pulled both hands away, letting me catch my breath as I laid panting on the futon. He looked at the fluid coating his fingers curiously before smirking at me.

"Let's try something new now since you did ask me to surprise you." he said while playing with the fluid covering his hands.

"S-Something new?" I asked curiously as I continued to pant.

Instead of answering me, he placed his hands on my inner thighs to hold my legs apart before lowering his mouth to my nub and licking it. That instantly sent a warm tingling feeling up my spine as my inner muscles clenched.

"AH!" I cried out loudly.

I felt Souji grin against me as he continued to lick my nether regions. He grabbed my hips to firmly hold me in place as my back arched and as I began to squirm against him. As if he decided that just licking wasn't enough anymore, he sucked on my nub quickly before he pushed his tongue inside of me and continued his licking in there. I cried out once more and could not stop my moans as my hands flew tightly grip the blankets below me.

"S-SOUJI!" I managed to cry out between my moans. "AH!"

Just as I was about to come, Souji quickly pulled away from me, much to my disappointment.

"You're not allowed to come yet. Not before I've entered you." he whispered in my ear again as he crawled back on top of me.

As soon as he settled back on the top I quickly rolled on top of him and pinned him to the futon.

"It should be my turn now." I said, catching my breath while sitting on top of him before I lowered myself to kiss him.

"Mmm… Be my guest." he grinned from below.

After sucking on his neck briefly, I sat back up and began tracing outlines of his muscles lightly while slowly moving towards his erection. As soon as my fingertips reached his erection, I lightly traced the bulging vein on the side of his penis up to the tip and slowly back down.

"Ngh!" Souji groaned as his hips buckled upwards.

I slowly and lightly wrapped my hands around his penis and applied some pressure as I began rubbing it and pumping it slowly, slowly increasing the pressure and speed over time.

"Shizuka, faster!" he moaned as he pressed himself further into my hands.

I smiled slyly at his demand and stopped all movement of my hands to give the tip of his erection a light and slow lick before releasing my hold on him.

Souji groaned at my actions before glaring slightly at me. "That was dirty." he complained.

"That was nothing yet." I said slyly.

I raised myself and positioned my opening over his erection before slowly lowering myself onto him. He gave a loud groan as he fully entered me and as he placed his hands on my hips. Instead of instantly speeding up like what he would've wanted, I slowly and torturously raise myself up before lowering myself back onto him.

"Shizuka," he groaned at me like he was in pain, "stop torturing me. Faster."

"Nope." I whispered into his ear as I slowed down even more to tease him.

"Shizuka, please! You're killing me here!"

"Fine, maybe just a little." I said, speeding up a tiny bit before slowing down more than before, repeating the long and torturous cycle.

Finally having enough of my torture, Souji quickly flipped me over and pulled out.

Oops. Did I go too far and make him mad? Before I had the chance to apologize for teasing him so much, he rolled me onto my side and roughly pushed into me from behind while grabbing my hips, making me gasp.

"Ah!" I cried.

"I can't wait anymore." Souji said with a strained voice as he pounded roughly into me from behind. "I need you now. Ngh!"

Before long, a warm pressure was building within as our moans and gasps intertwined. I was going to come soon—

"AHHHWAWHA!" a loud cry not belonging to either of us suddenly came from outside followed by the sound of wood breaking, freezing both of us in place. That was a rasetsu's cry! Seriously! Of all the times another one of Niimi's experiments had to break loose.

"FUCK!" Souji snarled out angrily as he pulled out before we both quickly scrambled to get dressed again. "I will really fucking kill Niimi-san this time!"

Quickly tying my hair up into a messy ponytail after getting dressed we both grabbed our weapons and ran towards the source of the disturbance.

"What took you so long, Souji?!" Hijikata-san yelled as we arrived at the scene. "Nevermind! Just go cut off the rasetsu's escape path and drive it towards Saito! Saito go that way!"

In a quick and precise pincer movement everyone cut off the rasetsu's escape route, forcing it to jump over the wall into Saito-san's well prepared range. After it jumped over the wall, we quickly ran around the wall to see if Saito-san managed to eliminate his target. Standing in front of Ibuki-kun, who was in his sleepwear and had come outside to investigate the noise, Saito stood over the corpse of the rasetsu that had been pierced through the heart. Hijikata-san then turned to glare at Niimi, who stood far behind everyone, as soon as he was sure the rasetsu was dead. With all the escapes the rasetsu had recently been committing, everyone was getting quite adapt at cutting them down before they actually left headquarters.

"Niimi-san, you're really becoming a nuisance." Souji said with a dark glare. He was the only one that did not sheath his weapon after the rasetsu had been killed. "If this happens again, I really will kill you next time."

Clearly frightened at Souji's dark threat and Hijikata-san's glare, Niimi pathetically scrambled to run away. When it was clear that Niimi was no longer within proximity, Hijikata-san turned back around to scold Souji.

"You'd be breaking the Code if you killed him without orders!" Hijikata-san harshly scolded at Souji.

"I don't care." Souji snorted at Hijikata-san. "One interruption like this is enough to last a lifetime."

"By interruption do you mean…" Sano-san started and trailed off as his eyes landed on Souji's still prevalent erection. Several people turned bright red as their eyes landed on what Sano-san was staring at. No one had noticed it during the short battle nor was the battle long enough for it to disappear.

"Why else do you think I'm so pissed right now?" Souji said with an unimpressed tone. "What did you think was interrupted?"

"Ahem! Right…" Hijikata-san cleared his throat awkwardly as he looked at me and Souji. "We're done here, so you can go… Well, you know…"

Without saying anything else, Souji grabbed me and tossed me over his shoulder, causing me to drop my naginata.

"Souji! Wait, my naginata!" I exclaimed from over his shoulders as he marched back towards our room.

"Someone will pick it up and return it to you later." Souji said gruffly without pausing his steps. "We have some unfinished business I don't want to put off any further."

When we returned to the privacy of our room, Souji quickly closed the door again before he put me down. As soon as my feet touched the ground, he swiftly pushed me up against a wall and untied my hakama. He growled unhappily at the cord of my hakama as he tugged it loose. When my hakama came loose once again, he instantly pulled it down and inserted a finger into my core.

"Souji!" I gasped at the sudden invasion.

"Good, you're still wet." he said, sounding almost strained, as he pulled his finger out so he could untie his own hakama. "That means we don't have to start from the beginning again."

Within a few seconds of removing his finger, his member quickly replaced it as he pushed into me, causing me to gasp again. As soon as he was within me, he pinned me to the wall and held me up from my rear after he wrapped my legs around his waist. Zero points for guessing how the rest of the night went.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

"I am the red in remembered. Why am I red? Because I'm embarrassed." ― Jarod Kintz, _The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit You_

"So, how is everything coming along with the plan?" I whispered to Kyoko-chan while both of us were sitting on the bench outside the small teahouse we constantly visited together.

"Give it a few more months or a few more outrageous acts from Serizawa and Aizu will order the assassination of Serizawa." Kyoko-chan whispered back before stuffing her mouth with the rest of her dango. "Hey, what about that Ibuki guy that Kosuzu-chan is always going on about?"

"What about him?" I asked.

"What are you guys going to do with him after Serizawa's dead? Usually when you assassinate someone, you need to kill off his followers too."

Shoot, I really didn't think about that. Ibuki-kun was a good guy who was just caught in a bad situation. He didn't deserve to die along with Serizawa, like Niimi did, but at the same time the Roshigumi couldn't just let him go. Ibuki-kun already knew too much. He would be a loose end with the Water of Life if we just let him go, but at the same time, if he stayed, then he would get caught up in the brewing maelstrom. Despite originally starting off hating Serizawa, Ibuki-kun was starting to get attached to Serizawa and that would be a problem if he got in the way of the assassination. And not to mention, Kosuzu-chan was completely smitten with him. If Ibuki-kun got killed then Kosuzu-chan would suffer greatly.

"I was really just hoping that Ibuki-kun would leave Serizawa's service before the assassination occurred." I explained. "But it looks like that's not going to happen, so we're going to have to find a way to remove him before the plan comes to a full."

"Hmm…" Kyoko-chan said while chewing on the empty skewer. "Can't we just convince the Ibuki guy to runaway with Kosuzu-chan before then?"

"But the Roshigumi can't just let him go now. He knows too much and we can't have a leak. Plus, will he even run away with Kosuzu-chan in the first place? He hasn't really gone to see her. The only contact they have with each other is when they run into each other in the city during the day."

"He won't be totally unwatched if he chooses to run away." said Kyoko-chan.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked curiously. If they runaway together then wouldn't they naturally be out of our reach?

"Listen here, Ibuki-kun has no money and Kosuzu-chan technically doesn't own anything, so if they do runaway together then life will be difficult without outside help. What if I get Kenji to set up a new life for him in a village in the Hira Mountains? The village there was once the headquarters of Kenji's ninja clan and everyone there is a part of his information network. There, both Kosuzu-chan and that Ibuki guy will be watched but, at the same time, they'll be able to start a comfortable new life easily."

That… That might actually work! The couple will be safe there and will be able to live comfortably without the worry of Ibuki-kun leaking the secret of about the Water of Life. Now the only problem was…

"How will we convince them to runaway together if they rarely see each other?" I asked.

"Kosuzu-chan's a maiko, isn't she?" said Kyoko-chan. "Just get Ibuki-kun to visit her as a customer while she's working."

"He has no money." I pointed out. "And he rarely has time outside of dealing with Serizawa."

"Then have Nagakura-san take him. Serizawa likes him right? So, Serizawa won't say no if it's Nagakura-san taking him."

I sighed. It wasn't that easy. Each visit to Shimabara was expensive and there was no guarantee that we could convince both men needed to go along with what Kyoko-chan just said. If I was going to fund this plan, then my own personal emergency money would be used up.

"Then how will we convince Shinpachi-san to take Ibuki-kun with him go to Shimabara that often?" I asked my next question. Shinpachi-san would be all too happy to visit Shimabara nearly nightly, but having to deal with Serizawa when dragging Ibuki-kun… that complicated matters.

"I could help too by making situations where Serizawa would be too tired to say no to Ibuki going to Shimabara." A voice suddenly said from my right side. I jumped in my seat before quickly turning to the source of the sound. Kenji-san grinned at Kyoko-chan and me while leaning against the wall next to me. "I wanna go to Shimabara too. Shinpachi seems like a fun guy to party with."

"Oh, hey, Kenji." Kyoko-chan said nonchalantly as I tried to calm my pounding heart.

"Stop doing that!" I snapped at Kenji-san. "You're going to give me a heart attack one day."

"No I won't." said Kenji-san as he flicked my forehead. "You'll get use to me appearing like that before you can have a heart attack."

"Ouch!" I cried. This man seriously had some strong fingers.

"Well, I'm stealing Kyoko for the rest of the day now." he said while picking up Kyoko-chan. "See ya!"

"Bye Shizuka-chan!" Kyoko-chan waved.

And with that, Kenji-san seemed to instantly vanish with Kyoko-chan from that spot, leaving me all alone. I stood up from the bench and dusted off my lap before I started to walk back to the Yagi house. I guess it's time to start working on that plan. I didn't get very far from the teahouse when the loud and busy street I was on grew silent. The townsfolk had stopped what they were doing to cautiously watch the Roshigumi squad patrol the area. Heisuke and Saito-san were leading this patrol.

"It's the Wolves of Mibu!" a man whispered loudly to the woman next to him.

"I heard they put a ronin's head on display."

"In Osaka?"

"They frighten me!"

The reputation of the Roshigumi had recently tanked due to orders from Serizawa. After the rasetsu from a few nights earlier was slain, Serizawa had ordered the head of the rasetsu to be cut off and put on display in Osaka. Before that man was turned into a rasetsu, he was a ronin that was arrested for using the Roshigumi's name to steal money and Serizawa wanted the people to know the consequences of such actions. In turn, the people began to think even more poorly of the Roshigumi afterwards. They believed the Roshigumi was composed of savages that punished too harshly. In the local's eyes, the Roshigumi were just lawless ronin that had authority granted to them by clan Aizu, not protectors. Heisuke, who was next to Saito-san, took the man's words poorly and instantly became depressed. A whole organization's name tainted just by a single man's actions.

I frowned at the people's words before I started to approach Heisuke. Maybe I could cheer him up a bit before returning to headquarters.

"Wait! Shizuka-chan!" Asami-obaa-san, an elderly woman I had once treated for a dislocated hip, cried as she grabbed one of my arms to stop me. "Those men are dangerous!"

Asami-obaa-san, like all the other people I had treated medically were not aware of my relationship with the Roshigumi. To the townspeople, I was just that talented friend of Kyoko-chan. They all knew and liked Kyoko-chan and warmly welcomed me when Kyoko-chan introduced me as her friend and as the people came to know me, most grew fond of me as well. Everyone was certainly in for a giant surprise when they find out my relationship to the Roshigumi. Heck, I was even married to one of the scariest Roshigumi captains.

"They're not dangerous." I replied with a smile. "All the men in the Roshigumi shouldn't be judged based on the actions of a certain few."

"How would you know?" Asami-obaa-san whispered harshly back to me. "Men like them would take advantage of trust from a pretty girl like you. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I know because I grew up surrounded by all the captains." I said gently as I watched Asami-obaa-san's eyes grow wide. "Besides, you know that I am married, but did you know that my husband is the First Division Captain? I can safely say that I know them very well and that the only one that you need to fear is Serizawa."

Asami-obaa-san's grip on my arm grew limp as I pulled away to approach Heisuke. The other people, who did not hear my conversation with Asami-obaa-san, watched while holding their breaths as I neared the patrol group, fearful for what might become of me. Time to show the people that the Roshigumi was not composed of horrible people like they thought it was.

"Heisuke! Saito-san!" I called out to the captains cheerfully.

The entire squad paused as Heisuke and Saito-san stopped at the sound of my voice. Saito-san frowned at me when I stopped in front of them.

"I believed that the Vice Commander told you not to leave the headquarters alone." Saito-san scolded me.

"But I didn't." I pointed out. "Kyoko-chan came to the headquarters to pick me up, but she had to leave a bit earlier."

"Then you should return to the headquarters immediately" Saito-san said.

"I'm going." I said to Saito-san before turning to Heisuke and pulling on his cheeks with a slight frown. "What's with that depressed look?"

"Ow, ow, ow! Shizuka-chan, that hurts!" Heisuke cried as he pulled his face away from my hands. "What was that for?!"

"The citizens of Kyoto won't believe you can protect them if you walk around depressed all the time." I scolded Heisuke like a child before giving him a small smile. "Hang in there. Things won't be like this forever. It'll get better."

"Shizuka-chan…" Heisuke said speechlessly before grinning and grabbing me in a headlock. "You little—" he said while ruffling my hair playfully.

"Hey! You're going to mess up my hair!" I complained as I flailed in his grasp. Heisuke let go a few seconds later to let me fix my hair.

"Thanks." Heisuke said looking more cheerful. "Even though I always felt like you were my imōto, you've been acting like my ane-ue lately. Alright! Time to act like your onii-san again!"

I giggled at the slight show that Heisuke had put on as he returned to good cheer.

"Okay, I'm going to head back home now. Work hard and stay safe!" I called back with a wave as I started back towards the headquarters again.

"Sure!" Heisuke called back as the squad resumed their patrol. Saito gave me a small smile with a nod before returning to patrol with Heisuke.

The people who were watching that exchange continued to stare at me and the Roshigumi patrol as I left the scene, not believing what they just witnessed. Good, I hope I gave them something to think about.

* * *

"Damn, every time I go on patrol people keep callin' us 'Wolves of Mibu'!" Shinpachi complained while swinging his sword angrily during practice. "It's such a pain!"

Much to my dismay, that display I had a few days earlier with Heisuke had little impact on what people already came to believe about the Roshigumi. It was difficult to change what people already believed, even with sufficient proof that that went against said belief. Serizawa had told Hijikata-san that a bad name was better than no name, but I seriously disagreed with that statement. It's easier to build up the name you want if you start with no name but damn near impossible to change people's perceptions about you if you start off with a bad name. Heisuke was so upset with the way things had been going that he hid in his room instead of gathering with the normal ranked captains, like he usually did.

"Are you sure you don't want me to wash it for you?" I asked Saito-san, who had tied his sleeves back to wash his laundry.

"No, it's fine." Saito-san replied, continuing his washing. "It's my own fault for not getting my dirty laundry to you on time. I will wash my own laundry this time."

Souji wrapped an arm around my waist from his spot next to me as I was about to reply, causing me to stop to look at him.

"If Hajime-kun said it's alright then it's alright." Souji gently scolded me before replying to what Shinpachi-san had said earlier with a teasing voice. "Shinpachi-san, you're fragile enough to let something like that get to you?"

"Not me." Shinpachi-san answered as he stopped swinging his sword and placed it against his shoulder. "Heisuke's actin' all depressed. I can't stand this annoying mess."

"It looks like it's getting to our younger members as well." Sano-san said while leaning against the wall next to where Souji and I were seated.

"Oh, jeez." Souji said a tad bit condescendingly. "What a bunch of wimps. The locals are so scared of us that they open up a path. It's easier to get around, so what's the big deal? Right, Hajime-kun?"

I frowned at Souji before tapping him on the forehead.

"It may seem unimportant to you, but high morale is essential for an organization like the Roshigumi." I rebuffed Souji. "Morale wins wars and solves crises. The outnumbered, ill-equipped, or even the out-maneuvered may triumph if their morale is markedly higher. Such examples of victories include battles in the French Revolution and with the armies of Joan of Arc. The Roshigumi falls under the category of outnumbered. Morale is very important, contrary to your belief."

Souji stared at me with a surprised expression when I finished speaking. Saito-san sighed as he stood up to hang the scarf to dry.

"In short, we must find a way to increase troop morale." Saito-san said.

"A night at Shimabara might cheer everyone up." Kenji-san suggested as he dropped down to join us from the roof.

"When did you get here?" Sano-san asked, surprised at the sudden appearance.

"A while back." Kenji-san answered with a shrug of his shoulders. "I was messing around with Yamazaki under the guise of training."

Oh, poor Yamazaki-san. No wonder he was so strung up lately. I better ease off the work I've been giving to him before he ended up having a nervous breakdown from having to deal with being Kenji-san's source of entertainment all the time.

"So!" Kenji-san continued. "Let's all go to Shimabara tonight. Oh, and Ibuki should come too since his life sucks right now. My treat!"

"Oh! Let's go!" Shinpachi-san adamantly agreed at the suggestion. "I'll go get Heisuke and Ryunosuke!"

"I'll come too!" Kenji-san grinned as he threw an arm around Shinpachi-san's shoulder and walked with him. "So, you seem like a fun person to party with. Why don't you and this Ryunosuke guy come with me every time I go to Shimabara?"

Hmm…with Kenij-san's help, maybe it won't be so hard to get Shinpachi-san to bring Ibuki-kun to Shimabara so often.

* * *

The compound was quiet after the guys left for Shimabara tonight. Only Otou-san, Sannan-san, and Hijikata-san remained from our Shieikan group to finish up some work. I didn't quite feel like sitting alone in mine and Souji's room, so I went to Hijikata-san's workspace to help him organize his documents.

"Nothing to do because Souji isn't here tonight?" Hijikata-san asked without taking his eyes off of the document he was working on.

"No, just the fact that everyone else is gone too." I replied while filing the finished documents. "Well, Niimi and Serizawa are still here, but we get along sooo well that I have to avoid them to prevent an affair from occurring."

Hijikata-san snorted at my last sarcastic statement before handing me another document.

"Here, go put this one over there." he said pointing to another pile of documents. "So, how—"

The room's doors suddenly slammed open, effectively cutting off what Hijikata-san was going to say.

"Shizuka-chan~" Kyoko-chan sang as she plowed into my side and enveloped me in a tight hug. "Let's go have some fun now!"

"And what is this 'fun'?" Hijikata-san asked calmly as he continued to work through the rude interruption.

After being unable to stop Kyoko-chan from breaking in all the time, Hijikata-san stopped trying. It almost seemed like some part of him just died when it came to dealing with Kyoko-chan. Now Hijikata-san just tried to ignore Kyoko-chan's break-ins when he could. His façade wasn't perfect, of course. He still always had that small twitching vein when Kyoko-chan randomly appeared in his space in headquarters.

"We're going to join the other guys at Shimabara while dressed as geisha!" Kyoko-chan said cheerfully before dragging me away.

"What?!" Hijikata-san cried as I was dragged away. "Get back here!"

"Haha! Too slow!" Kyoko-chan taunted as we exited the compound.

* * *

"This is really heavy." I commented as I tried to walk around in the hikizuri, the traditional kimono that maiko and geshia wore for work.

"But it looks good on you." Kyoko-chan said as she finished up her makeup. "Now let's go to the banquet hall that everyone's in. They'll be in for a nice surprise!"

"But we're really just here to spy on Kosuzu-chan and Ibuki-kun, right?"

"Of course! Why else would we be here?" Kyoko-chan said with a grin and opened the door to the banquet hall.

"Kyoko-han? Shizuka-han?" Kosuzu-chan asked, being the first to see us enter the room.

"Kosuzu-chan!" Kyoko-chan called out cheerfully. "We came to visit you at work~"

"What took you so long?" Kenji-san asked with a big grin as he patted the vacant spot next to him. "Over here, Kyoko."

"EH?! NO WAY!" Heisuke cried when he spotted us. "W-What are you two doing here dressed like that?"

"It was Kyoko-chan's idea." I said while pointing to Kyoko-chan before I went to go take a seat next to Souji. I think I'll leave her to answer all the questions.

"Kyoko-chan's idea, huh?" Souji asked while eyeing me as I took the small saké flask from him to pour him saké. "Well, I won't complain. But I still prefer it when you're wearing nothing at all."

"Of course you do." I snorted. "I think the real question is: Why do I bother getting dressed at all anymore? Everything always ends up on the floor anyways."

Souji shot me a smug grin before drinking his saké. Saito-san, who was sitting next to Souji, turned bright red when he heard snippets of our conversation. Saito-san was still extremely awkward when it came to the subject of romance, women, or anything related. I shot Saito-san an apologetic look before taking a small sip of saké from Souji's cup.

"Because," Souji answered with his grin before coming dangerously close to my ear, "it's so much more fun to…unwrap you."

"Souji, you shouldn't tease her so much in public." Sano-san butt in to our conversation while closely watching Ibuki-kun and Kosuzu-chan with a smile. "You know how these things always end."

I flushed red at that comment. Was Sano-san suggesting what I think he was? Furthermore, how did he know how they always ended?

"You can be surprisingly loud, ya know." Sano-san said while drinking another cup of saké.

"L-Loud?" I stuttered. If I was red before, then there were no words to describe how bright red I was now. Souji was always complaining that I wasn't loud enough. D-Did that mean everyone could hear me on those nights? I quickly turned to Shinpachi-san to demand an answer.

"Well…" Shinpachi-san said while scratching the back of his head, "Loud enough to know how often you two do it. Damn, it's enough to make me jealous of how regularly Souji gets some."

"W-What?!" I squeaked before turning to Souji. "Y-You're always saying I'm not l-loud e-enough!"

Oh, embarrassment, how long has it been my old friend? It's been years since you've come visit me like this! Unfortunately, it hasn't been long enough.

"You're never loud enough for me." Souji said with a teasing smirk. "I like to judge how well I'm doing by how vocal you are."

I don't think I've ever been this red before. Fine! Let's see how Souji likes it when I'm not in the mood later on!

…Even though I think that now, I'd probably just give in later if Souji asked… It was too difficult to say no to him.

* * *

"Where's Saito-san?" I asked Sano-san, Shinpachi-san, and Heisuke as I approached them on the temple steps.

I could see the men, that Saito-san normally instructed, swinging their swords in practice, but the man in question was nowhere in sight. It wasn't like Saito-san to ditch his responsibilities. So where was he and what was he doing?

"Saito said somethin' about someone being late to practice before leaving to fetch em'." Shinpachi-san explained from his seated spot next to Heisuke.

So I see. I guess the question should be changed to: Who is the person that was gutsy enough to be late for practice? Saito-san did take sword practice very seriously, after all.

"Oh, there he is." Sano-san pointed out as Saito-san returned with…Ibuki-kun?

That was strange. I always thought Ibuki-kun was someone who didn't want to learn how to wield a sword properly. Maybe he had a change of heart after a night out with Kosuzu-chan?

"Hey… is that Ryunosuke?" Heisuke asked while blinking.

"I guess so." I said as I took a seat next to Sano-san to see how things would turn out.

Saito had Ibuki-kun stand a bit to the side of the main training group before having Ibuki-kun pull out his katana. Ibuki-kun hesitantly pulled his sword in front of him in a shaky, incorrect middle stance.

"Since you have decided to begin training, you must first learn the basics." Saito-san stated as he began to instruct Ibuki-kun.

Seemingly displeased at being dragged outside to train, Ibuki-kun turned the other way while muttering under his breath, "Not that I decided to do this…"

Saito-san made a small sound of disapproval while raising his brow before Ibuki-kun quickly got back into position.

"Fine!" Ibuki-kun exclaimed with slight determination after hearing that sound of disapproval.

Not wasting any time, Saito-san quickly tapped on Ibuki-kun's knee with his hand to try to correct Ibuki-kun's messy stance.

"Huh?" Ibuki-kun asked in confusion at Saito-san's actions.

"Bring your right leg forward. Shift your left leg back." instructed Saito-san.

"Huh?"

"Have the sword pointed directly over your opponent's head like so." Saito-san said while getting into his own stance to use as an example. "This is the basic stance."

"Okay!" Ibuki-kun said while quickly following Saito-san's example.

"When holding your katana's hilt, put strength into your grasp starting from the pinkie fingers going up."

"Okay!" Ibuki-kun said before swinging his sword up and down haphazardly.

"Not like that."

"Like this?"

"Don't hold it from the side." Saito-san said, sounding a little disgruntled.

"Huh?"

"When you strike at someone, you would have to control it just with your thumbs."

"Okay, got it." Ibuki-kun said as Saito-san backed away to allow adequate room for Ibuki-kun to practice.

"There's no need to teach Ryunosuke swordsmanship." Heisuke commented after watching Saito-san instruct Ibuki-kun.

"Why not?" said Shinpachi-san. "He's finally decided to learn it."

"That's right!" Sano-san added with a smile. "If Ryunosuke is trying to change, why not let him?"

"Uh-huh…" said Heisuke as he turned back to watch Ryunosuke practice.

"Good." Saito-san commented on Ryunosuke's stance. "Now to start off, you can give me one thousand swings this afternoon."

"What?!" exclaimed Ibuki-kun.

Saito-san was a serious and good instructor when it came to teaching swordsmanship, but he might be a bit too serious when it came to dealing with Ibuki-kun. Feeling a bit more inspired after watching Ibuki-kun, I stood back up and twirled around to face the three men who were still sitting on the temple steps.

"Anyone feel up for a little practice spar?" I asked cheerfully. "I want to know how much I've improved after spending some time training with Hijikata-san."

Sano-san grinned at my infectious happiness and stood up.

"Why not?" Sano-san said while grabbing his spear. "Let's see how much the Roshigumi's princess has improved since coming to Kyoto."


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

"Honor from death," I snap, "is a myth. Invented by the war torn to make sense of the horrific. If we die, it will be so that others may live. Truly honorable death, the only honorable death, is one that enables life." ― Rae Carson, _The Girl of Fire and Thorns_

The whole temple courtyard fell quiet as the all the men paused everything that they were doing to watch the strange scene unfold. To the normal rank-and-file soldiers of the Roshigumi, I was just known to them as the daughter of the Commander and the wife to the First Division Captain. They did not see me as the official medical professional of the Roshigumi or even as someone significantly important. I was just someone who was there because of my relationship to the high ranking officers. It must have been a surprise for them to see me challenge one of the captains to a sparring match. Even though the normal soldiers did see that I normally carried a naginata, that did not mean they believed that I knew how to fight properly. After all, the naginata was seen more of a status symbol for upper class women nowadays rather than an actual weapon to fight with.

The other captains within the area focused their attention on Sano-san and I as well. They were curious of how well I would do against Sano-san because other than seeing me kill that first rasetsu on that night, they haven't really seen me in action at all in the past few months despite me joining them on their rasetsu hunts every time one broke out of the Maekawa house. While I did originally spar with all of them upon arriving in Kyoto, I had stopped most forms of practice with them after a few months of arriving in this city.

Right before I completely ceased practicing with the main captains, I had noticed something mind-boggling about my improvement with my naginata. While I had improved quite a bit since I first started out, my improvement had started to slow before it came to a complete stop in Kyoto. It was only after one month in Kyoto I had realized that I actually hadn't made any real progress. I didn't understand at the time why I had stopped improving. It wasn't that I wasn't working hard or practicing nearly every day. I trained frequently, so why had I stopped completely improving here in Kyoto? Unwilling to just leave the situation as it was, I ceased training with the main guys to examine the possible factors contributing to this bizarre problem.

After much silent debate and time, I had finally managed to isolate the cause of the problem. Being surrounded by a group of extremely talented men who excelled in combat, I had naturally and unconsciously tried to copy their movements and fighting styles, which were ill-suited for me. I wasn't like them. My body was small and possessed relatively little physical strength. My movement was slightly below average in battle despite my amazing ability to read people in battle and to strike with great accuracy. I would never be able to move or attack as gracefully as most of the guys. The battle styles I was subconsciously trying to copy were hindering me. I didn't truly have my own fighting style to improve upon, hence the lack of growth in combat.

This lack of growth was undesirable to me. While the initial skill I possessed may have been adequate enough to fend off the ronin from when I first met Kyoko-chan, if those men had been a bit more skilled then I wouldn't have stood much of a chance. I didn't want to stop improving. The reason I had decided to learn how to fight in the first place was so I could defend myself. I never wanted to feel that crushing sense of helplessness ever again. That feeling of lost hope and the inability to save myself was suffocating. The ability to fight, to defend myself had become symbolic to me. It was my independence, my strength to move past obstacles, it was my freedom from the claws of fear. To stop improving signified weakness. The sense of helplessness I had thought I had left behind on the day I decided to learn how to fight came creeping back in with a vengeance.

It was in the time of my crisis that Hijikata-san offered his help. Noticing that I had stopped most of my practice sessions with the guys, Hijikata-san realized that my claim that I was too busy to practice was a lie and that something was very wrong. I had told him before about my slowed growth in naginatajutsu before in Edo and he must have put together the clues. Instead of accepting my lie, like everyone else begrudgingly did, Hijikata-san bulldozed right pass my wall of defenses and forced me to reveal the truth.

After pounding the truth out of me, Hijikata-san arranged to have all his sword practice sessions with me despite my adamant protests. He wasn't someone I regularly practiced with because of how busy he was all the time. Surely he had much better things to do than waste his time fixing my problems, but he insisted fervently until I relented. Now in hindsight, Hijikata-san was the perfect person to help solve my issue. Just like me, Hijikata-san wasn't exceptionally talented in swordsmanship like all the other guys were. While everyone else was extremely smooth and graceful in practice, Hijikata-san's movements were abrupt, jerky, and aesthetically displeasing to the eye. But ultimately, despite the poor presentation of grace, his battle style worked well. Because his fighting style did what it was supposed to do, Hijikata-san did not lose very often. In the end, one could be graceful and beautiful in practice, but in a real battle, no one cared how beautiful one's style looks and it was the brutish, ungraceful styles that did what was needed to win. Battle was not supposed to be heroic or beautiful, but it was doing what needed to be done.

Stopping at a stone-paved, vacant spot in the temple courtyard that had an adequate amount of space, I turned to face Sano-san with my weapon readied in front of me. Sano-san prepared his stance with his spear poised in striking position. Because all the practice weapons at the temple at the current moment were all wooden swords, Sano-san and I were going to use our real weapons. Of course, since this was a sparring match, we left the sheaths on our blades to prevent any serious injuries. Everyone watch with abated breaths as Sano-san took the first move.

Shooting his spear forward with incredible speed, Sano-san thrust his spear towards my chest. I quickly twirled my naginata in front of me to knock away the spear while stepping back from the assault. In the time I had spent training with Hijikata-san, I had come to love twirling my weapon around like a baton. A well place spin of a long pole-like weapon presented the illusion of having the ability to strike from any location as well as hiding many holes in a defense. It also prevented the opponent from reading my moves with ease. Completely unfazed by the failed hit, Sano-san pressed forward and aimed three more thrusts at my right side.

Knowing where all the attacks were going, due to my ability to read muscle movement, I jumped back to dodge the first attack and before parrying the last two with another twirl of my weapon.

"Oh?" Sano-san said with slight pride. "It seems like our little princess has gotten a bit faster, but you know, you can't win if you don't attack back."

"I know." I replied back slyly. In his last attack, Sano-san had pushed me off the stone pavement of the temple's central courtyard and onto the unpaved dirt on the side. This was exactly what I was waiting for.

Quickly spinning my weapon in front of me once more, I feigned an attack to cover what I was really doing. Using the pole end of my weapon, I loosened the packed soil of the dirt floor when my weapon hit the ground during my earlier spin. Sano-san easily moved out of the way of my fake attack before thrusting his spear at me again. At the moment of that thrust, I saw the opening I was waiting for. With a quick and precise twirl of my weapon, I used the butt of my weapon to throw the loosened soil from earlier at Sano-san's eyes. Sano-san was clearly not expecting that move and his stance immediately collapsed as the dirt entered his eyes while his attack harmlessly went wide. Quickly taking advantage of this enormous opening, I swept my weapon behind his knees to get him to stumble. While Sano-san was amidst his little stumble, I spun from my position in front of him to one behind him. With a sharp and firm swing of my weapon, my sheathed blade smashed mercilessly onto the pressure point in the back of Sano-san neck, knocking him unconscious. It was quick, ungraceful, and dirty, but a win was a win.

I quickly turned around after straightening up from that final strike when I heard a wooden practice sword drop to the floor, breaking the silence that had formed after my victory. Saito-san's little class stared at me slack-jawed and with bulging eyes. Despite the somewhat dishonorable method I had used to achieve victory, I still did manage to knock one of the respected captains unconscious.

"AHH!" Heisuke yelled with his hands on his head, completely shattering the rest of the silence. "You've killed Sano-san! What do we do, Shinpat-san?!"

"Eh?" Shinpachi-san said before snapping out of his daze. "Wait! You mean Shizuka-chan actually killed Sano?! I thought she just knocked him out! Shizuka-chan, how could you?!"

Saito-san sighed at the two's outlandish imagination before stepping in to handle the situation.

"Stop exaggerating. Shizuka only knocked Harada unconscious. Go carry him back to headquarters." Saito-san ordered.

"Err, right!" said Heisuke as he became serious again. "I just always wanted to say that…"

"Wait… You mean Shizuka-chan didn't really kill Sano?" Shinpachi-san asked perplexedly.

"Of course not! What are you? Blind? Shizuka-chan would never willingly kill Sano-san." Heisuke snorted back.

"Right… I knew that… I was just playing along with you and got carried away." Shinpachi-san said with slight embarrassment before throwing one of Sano-san's arms over his shoulders and turned to face me. "You'd better come back with us too, Shizuka-chan. Sano's bruises need to be taken care of."

"But that was pretty amazing." Heisuke said with slight awe as he helped Shinpachi-san with Sano-san. "Who knew that you could actually knock out Sano-san, even if you did fight dirty? He's like, twice your size!"

I picked up Sano-san spear from the floor before skipping after Heisuke and Shinpachi-san on the way back to the compound. "It was dirty, but you know that there is no such thing as a clean fight in reality. A win is a win despite the method used to achieve it. Although, I probably shouldn't have hit Sano-san so hard."

"Aw, don't worry." Shinpachi-san assured me. "Sano-san's a real man. He can take a small hit every once in a while."

"What are you talking about, Shinpat-san?" Heisuke said before pointing out flatly, "A 'small hit' isn't going to knock Sano-san out. That wasn't a small hit."

"What are you doing?" I heard Saito-san scold his men in the fading background as I left the temple grounds with Heisuke, Shinpachi-san, and the unconscious Sano-san. "I never told you to take a break. Continue with practice!"

Back at headquarters, I had Heisuke and Shinpachi-san drop Sano-san off in the medical wing before I set to work to patch up the bruises I had created. The damage wasn't serious, but Sano-san had a massive bruise forming on the back of his neck. I may have hit him a bit too hard there. Even though it did not take a lot of force to knock a person unconscious if the pressure point was used, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to knock Sano-san out with one blow so I put extra force into the hit. My bad. Sano-san was now going to wake up with a massive headache.

"I feel like I just woke up with a massive hangover." Sano-san predictably said sluggishly with one hand on his head. He was now sitting up on the futon he was laying on for several minutes due to being unconscious. Quickly dropping the busywork I was doing to pass time while waiting for him to wake up, I rushed to Sano-san side to help him sit up.

"Sorry. That was my fault." I said regretfully. I hadn't meant to hit him that hard.

"Nah, it's fine. It's my own fault for letting my guard down like that." Sano-san said affably before reaching out to tenderly touch the spot where I had smashed my weapon into. "Ouch!" he cried when his hand connected with the spot.

"Don't touch it!" I scolded him maternally with a slight frown. "Leave it alone so it can heal. I already rubbed some ointment into the bruise to numb some of the pain."

"Numb some of the pain? How hard did you hit me?" Sano-san asked in alarm.

"Harder than I care to admit." I said before apologizing to him once more. "Sorry."

"I said it was fine." Sano-san said with a small sigh before ruffling my hair with a smile. "The bruise will heal, but I think the bruise on my ego might suffer for a while. The soldiers did see me get knocked out by a woman little more than half my size."

"Well, that's your fault for letting your guard down." I said jokingly with my nose in the air before breaking out into giggles. "Stay here and get some rest for the rest of the day, okay? I'll go cook you something to eat right now. So, what do you feel like eating?"

"Hmm… It's been awhile since I had some udon[1]."

"Alright. Just sit tight, I'll be back soon with your food."

* * *

"Going back to check on Sano-san again?" Souji asked me with an envious glower as the trailed along slightly behind me while I was heading back to the medical wing. It had been a few hours since my last visit.

The rest of the day had passed without another hiccup and I was now heading back to the medical wing to ask Sano-san what he wanted to eat for dinner as the setting sun painted the white walls a brilliant orange color. Sure I was mothering him a bit too much, to Souji's displeasure, but I was the one that injured him in the first place. Even if guilt had nothing to do with it, I still liked to spoil everyone, though not as much as Souji.

"I was the one that injured him in the first place, so doesn't it make sense that I'm the one that makes sure that he recovers comfortably?" I answered without a pause in my step.

"But he wasn't even hurt that badly in the first place. It's just a bruise." Souji complained. "I can't believe you told Hijikata-san to give Sano-san the rest of the day off. You know I had to take his patrol?"

"Still, it was my fault in the first place." I stated again.

"It wasn't your fault. Sano-san is the one that let his guard down, so it's his fault that he has that tiny bruise in the first place." Souji said, intentionally minimizing the size of Sano-san's bruise.

"But…" I started before trailing off and stopping in place as I saw someone I didn't recognize leaving the Maekawa house out of the corner of my eye.

Strange, out of all the people one could find in the Roshigumi headquarters, another woman besides Kyoko-chan and myself was extremely unusual. This woman wore a beautifully blue and goldenrod-colored kimono. Despite being Japanese, this woman had blonde hair that was gracefully twisted into what appeared to be a french twist. Maybe she had some European ancestry? Who was this woman and what business did she have with the Roshigumi? She was coming from the Maekawa house, so she probably had some business with Serizawa or one of his men. It couldn't be Niimi since he was spending all of his time working on the Water of Life and I couldn't see Hirama as a man that would bring personal business in to the Roshigumi headquarters from the outside. As for Ibuki-kun, it would be ridiculous to even suggest that she was here to see him. The person she had business with was probably Serizawa, but what did she need Serizawa for? Her clothing told me she was no courtesan. Perhaps a relation to a rich merchant? From the disappointed expression on her face, I could guess that whatever she came to do did not go well.

"Shizuka?" Souji asked curiously when I stopped walking.

"Look over there." I whispered back to Souji while pointing at the woman. "Who do you think she is and what business do you think she had with Serizawa?"

"Who cares?" Souji shrugged carelessly at my question before he wrapped his arms around me and made himself comfortable.

Feeling nosy and a need to satisfy my curiosity, I waited for the woman to walk past me and Souji before calling out to her to catch her attention.

"Um, excuse me?" I called out tentatively. The blonde-haired woman paused and turned around to face me when she heard me speak. "Is everything alright? You look quite a bit downtrodden."

"Oh!" she said slightly embarrassed when she realized she wasn't hiding her disappointment as well as she thought she was. "It's nothing. Please do not worry about me. I will be fine."

"Are you sure?" I asked doubtfully. "If it's something to do with Serizawa then it might be better to tell me. Serizawa is a difficult man for a person to deal with alone."

The woman was silent for a bit as she contemplated my words before she decided there would be no harm in telling me what was causing her so much distress.

"My husband, Hishiya the tailor, gave me strict instructions not return to our shop until I collected the payment for the uniforms that Serizawa-sama ordered. Unfortunately, I was just told that Serizawa-sama is not currently in."

"Eh? So Serizawa-san hasn't paid for the uniforms yet?" Souji said as a statement rather than a question as he raised his brow. "Tough luck there. If he hasn't paid yet then that means he never intended to in the first place."

I knew Serizawa ordering tailored uniforms for the whole Roshigumi out of goodwill was too good to be true!

"Surely you jest." the woman said in denial. "I will return again tomorrow to ask for Serizawa-sama once more."

"No, it's better if you don't." I said. "Serizawa is a volatile man and who knows what he'll do to you if he decides that you're a nuisance."

"But I must." the woman answered with determination. "Hishiya demands it so."

"Very well." I said while admiring the woman's steel-like determination. She was tough. "Then please follow me. I'll pay the tailor fees instead."

"Shizuka, I thought you hated Serizawa-san." Souji said while grabbing my wrist to prevent me from heading to my new destination. "So, why are you offering to pay for him?"

"I'm not paying for Serizawa." I said with slight annoyance. "I'm paying for the Roshigumi. Even though Serizawa was the one that ordered the uniform to be made, all the members wear the uniforms. Each one of the members that has ever worn the uniform is also responsible for the massive fee. Besides, if the tailor fees aren't paid off, it's the Roshigumi as a whole that will look bad, not just Serizawa. It may harm any possible partnerships the Roshigumi may have in the future if the fees aren't paid off.

Souji sighed in defeat at my explanation before he released my wrist. "So to the bank?"

I nodded before taking the lead. "This way please. Oh! I never did ask for your name. My name is Okita Shizuka and this is my husband Okita Souji. I apologize for the inconvenience you faced while trying to collect the fees."

"It was trying, but I am glad that the Roshigumi does have some honest people in it. My name is Oume. It is a pleasure to meet you and your danna-sama."

In the end the tailor fees were paid off before the sun had fully set and Oume-san returned back to her shop with a pleasant smile on her face. However, the uniforms that Serizawa ordered for the Roshigumi were terribly expensive. A good deal of the funds I had managed to procure for the Roshigumi had vanished in an instant. Hopefully the relationship Otou-san and Hijikata-san had managed to build up with the sumo stable master from Osaka could result in a sumo performance that could be used to add more funds for the Roshigumi use.

"So what are you going to tell Hijikata-san when explaining why the Roshigumi funds are suddenly so low?" Souji asked me from behind as I prepared dinner for tonight. He had wrapped his arms around my waist and put his chin on my shoulder while I was stirring the miso soup. We had returned to headquarters so that I could prepare dinner for everyone.

"I'll just tell him the truth." I said as I added the tofu into the pot. "I'm sure Hijikata-san will see it from my point of view. We can't have the Roshigumi's name sink any lower than it already has."

"Hmm… I see." Souji said before taking a small sip of soup from the ladle I had brought up to his lips. "It needs more salt."

"You know, too much salt is bad for the body." I said with a frown. "The body will naturally accumulate more water in order to dilute the excess amount of sodium in the body. The extra water in the body will increase the blood volume in the bloodstream, resulting in extra pressure and more work for the heart. Over time, the extra pressure and work will stiffen the blood vessels, thus resulting in high blood pressure, heart attack, and/or stroke."

"Fine." Souji pouted. "Don't add anymore salt then."

* * *

"Little Ai-chan was really cute!" I gushed on the way back home in the late morning with Souji.

Little Ai-chan was a one year old baby I had left to go treat for a fever in the middle of last night. Ai-chan's mother appeared at the headquarters last night asking for me and begged Hijikata-san to let me accompany her back to her house to treat the one year old girl that had come down with a slight fever. Apparently the mother had heard about me through her next door neighbor, who was friends with Kyoko-chan's family. Unwilling to let me leave the compound alone, Souji had decided to come with me in this little event. The baby had nothing serious, just a small ear infection that was easily treated with the draining of the excess fluid from the middle ear.

The treatment itself did not take too long but I stayed behind to monitor the baby for a few hours because she was so young. Nothing went wrong in the end and when little Ai-chan woke up again in the morning she spent the whole time smiling and laughing at me.

"Yeah." Souji agreed with a gentle expression on his face as he watched me frolic around a bit.

"Having her smile and laugh at me all morning makes me wish that I had one of my own already or at least have one on the way." I said cheerfully as I slowed back down to a normal paced walk.

Souji chuckled at me, "Don't worry. I'm sure we'll have a couple of our own before long, especially with the way I've been going at you."

Blood rushed to my face at the last part of his statement before I stopped walking to turn towards him while making a face.

"While it's no secret what a husband and wife do behind closed doors, did you have to say that in public?"

"Why not?" Souji replied with a grin. "You look cute when you blush. Come on, let's stop for some dango before heading back."

I pouted at Souji once more before taking his arm and letting him lead me to the small teahouse near the side of the road. Much to my glee and surprise, as we approached the teahouse, I spotted Kosuzu-chan and Ibuki-kun sitting outside on the bench together. Their relationship was blooming quite nicely.

"Oh, yeah!" I heard Ibuki-kun exclaim as Souji and I approached the teahouse. I quickly pulled Souji to the side so we could eavesdrop on the conversation without being spotted. Souji raised his eyebrow at me, but said nothing. "Shimabara is going to be quiet for a bit." Ibuki-kun continued.

"Why is that?" Kosuzu-chan asked curiously.

"Serizawa-san will be going to Osaka in a couple of days due to work."

"Osaka?"

"Yeah." Ibuki-kun seemed to boast. "I'll be going with him."

However, Kosuzu-chan wasn't the least bit relieved. "Shimabara may be okay, but I'm worried that he might torment the maiko and geisha in Osaka…" she voiced her concern.

"I'll make sure that Serizawa-san doesn't get rough with them."

"Really? I'll hold you to that!" Kosuzu-chan said cheerfully.

"Hmm… Are you sure you want to do that?" Souji said with a wry grin as he stepped out from behind the wall I pull him behind. "Ibuki-kun is pretty useless and is always getting thrown around by Serizawa-san."

I facepalmed when Souji stepped out of our hiding place just to tease Ibuki-kun. Deciding that our cover was blown I stuck out my head from behind Souji and waved at Kosuzu-chan.

"Kosuzu-chan!" I called happily.

"Ah! It's you two!" Ibuki-kun exclaimed in surprise at our arrival before pointing at Souji accusingly. "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Exactly what I said. You're always getting beaten around by his iron fan, aren't you?" Souji pointed out teasingly.

"Ignore them." I said to Kosuzu-chan cheerfully. "You don't need to look so worried. My husband and I will also be going to Osaka too. I can help keep an eye on Ibuki-kun and Serizawa. Everything will be fine."

* * *

[1] Udon (饂飩, usually written as うどん) is a type of thick wheat flour noodle of Japanese cuisine. Udon is often served hot as a noodle soup in its simplest form, as kake udon, in a mildly flavored broth called kakejiru, which is made of dashi, soy sauce (shōyu), and mirin. It is usually topped with thinly chopped scallions. Other common toppings include tempura, often prawn or kakiage (a type of mixed tempura fritter), or aburaage, a type of deep-fried tofu pockets seasoned with sugar, mirin, and soy sauce. A thin slice of kamaboko, a half-moon-shaped fish cake, is often added. Shichimi can be added to taste.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

"She taught me all about real sacrifice. That it should be done from love... That it should be done from necessity, not without exhausting all other options. That it should be done for people who need your strength because they don't have enough of their own." ― Veronica Roth, _Allegiant_

"Well then, Serizawa-san," Otou-san said right before we prepared to part ways for the rest of the day, "we have other errands to attend to, so if you pardon us."

The Roshigumi had been requested to protect the daimyo in Osaka. The mission went without a bump, but now that the mission was over, Serizawa wanted to go to the red light district in Osaka to play while Otou-san and Hijikata-san still had business to take care of. We all had decided to walk with Serizawa to the entrance of the red light district before splitting off to take care of what Otou-san and Hijikata-san intended to do. I believe Otou-san and Hijikata-san wanted to talk to the sumo stable master again about a fundraiser. The Roshigumi was now a little pressed for money after paying for the tailor fees.

"Yeah. That's fine." Serizawa said.

Otou-san bowed politely to Serizawa before he began to lead everyone else away, but before Otou-san could completely lead us all away, Serizawa called out to Shinpachi-san.

"Nagakura-kun, I take it you will accompany me."

"M-Me?" Shinpachi-san stuttered back. Poor Shinpachi-san did not want to spend the whole night babysitting with Serizawa and doing damage control.

Serizawa only nodded for an answer before turning to enter the red light district.

"Well…" Shinpachi-san managed to say before he realized no one was listening to him and had already started to go their separate ways.

Souji grinned and winked at me before turning back around to tease Shinpachi-san with a, "Good luck!" While it may have been intended as a teasing gesture, Shinpachi-san could probably need all the luck he could get.

"H-Hey!" Shinpachi-san cried after us before hanging his head in defeat when he realized that we had abandoned him to his fate. Seriously, poor Shinpachi-san.

"Think about what you would want to eat later." I called back to him. He deserved a small treat later if he was going to deal with Serizawa tonight. "I'll make it for you when we return to Kyoto, so hang in there."

Souji grinned at me once more before he grabbed my hand and pulled me close so that he could whisper discretely into my ear after he had has his fill with teasing Shinpachi-san.

"Since now that everything important has been taken care of, why don't we sneak off for a bit?" Souji blew into my ear before he tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

"But what about the meeting with the stable master?" I whispered back to him. "Shouldn't we stay around in case they need our help or something?"

"They won't be needing us. Hijikata-san is the one that arranged the meeting, so he's the only one other than Kondou-san that really has to stay." Well, Souji did have a point there.

"Okay, so where are we sneaking off to?"

"Well, there's somewhere I want to go visit…"

"Okay then." I said before I pecked on his cheek. "Let's go—"

"And where do you two think you are going?" Saito-san said, bringing everyone's attention on us. Damn. Why did Saito-san have to be so strict? "We are not done with our business in Osaka yet. You two can go off and have fun later."

"Aww…" I deflated pitifully. Otou-san and Hijikata-san both panicked slightly when they saw the teary eyes I was making at both of them.

"Well… umm…" Otou-san started.

"I… Ahem… well I'm sure we can take care of everything without them…" Hijikata-san answered rashly.

"Y-yes! Exactly what Toshi said!" Otou-san quickly added. "Why don't you go take Shizu-chan to go have some fun, Souji? It has been awhile since she last came to Osaka."

Ah, the sad face with a hint of tears always worked every time. Well, most of the time. Gen-san just smiled and shook his head at me while Souji shot me a quick, secretive wink.

"Sure." Souji agreed. "We'll head back to the inn after we're done."

Otou-san turned around and returned to leading everyone to where they were to meet the stable master while Souji tugged my hand in the other direction.

"Works every time, doesn't it?" Souji said with a dry grin after everyone was out of sight.

"So where is it you want to go?" I asked with a giggle.

"To the bridge we were on last time we were both here in Osaka." Souji said as he led us to towards our destination.

* * *

"So why did you want to come here?" I asked Souji. Instead of heading directly to the bridge, Souji decided to wander the city a bit first before heading to the bridge after the sun had set.

"Because…" Souji said with a sly smile. "Remember what happened here last time? We have some unfinished business I would like to take care of."

"What happened here?" Nothing too important, right? And what's this unfinished business?

"Just think back a bit before you answer me." Souji urged.

Okay then, let's see what I can recall. Well, Souji led me out here the last time we were here together. He pulled on my hand hard enough so that I fell against him, he moved his face strangely close to mine, I asked him if he made up with Hijikata-san yet, and then Otou-san came to speak to Souji alone. I really didn't understand what he wanted me to recall. Clearly having enough of my blank stare, Souji sighed with resign.

"Seriously? We've been married all these months and you still can't figure it out?" Souji asked, unimpressed with my inability to figure out what he was talking about. "Let's see if you can figure it out after I give you a clue."

And with that, Souji tugged on my hand hard enough for me to loose my balance and fall against him, but something else happened a bit differently this time. The thing about having a really tall weapon strapped on to your back is that you have to be really careful how you move within close proximity with other people. Souji was lucky the last time he pulled me against him when I had my weapon on me. Last time when he pulled me close to him, the handle of my naginata missed his face by chance and because of that, he didn't take my weapon into account this time.

"OUCH!" Souji cried as he let go of me and quickly stepped back while holding his forehead.

The handle of my weapon hit his face this time when I fell against him. It really looked like a person stepping on a rake in those old cartoons I used to watch on Saturday mornings when I was a kid in my past life, but it wasn't quite so funny this time.

"Souji!" I cried out in alarm.

I quickly rushed to his side and pried away the hand he was using to hold his forehead to examine the seriousness of his injury.

"Are you okay? Did it hit you in the eye? How much does it hurt?" I asked, each question shooting out of my mouth with the speed similar to that of a bullet from a machine gun.

"I'm fine. I'm fine." Souji answered as I continued to examine his forehead. "Don't worry so much. I'm pretty sure it's just a bruise."

"Are you sure?" I asked only to have my question ignored.

"So can you figure out what the unfinished business is with the clue I just gave you?" Souji asked as he waved away my hands as I tried to examine his injury further.

"What clue? You just hit yourself in the face with my weapon when you pulled me hard enough to fall against you." I said as I pushed his hands away and continued to fuss over his injury. That was a hard hit and to the face too!

"Seriously?"

"Well, you did pull me enough so that I fell against you, but that's not the point."

"That was the whole point." Souji said bluntly.

"Eh? Why would you do that? …Oh!" Suddenly everything clicked.

"Get it now?" Souji asked while quirking his eyebrow. "You're still slow, but you're a lot better than before."

I nodded. He wanted a kiss. Did that mean he wanted that last time we were here too? Well, that was embarrassing.

"So can I finally collect now?" Souji asked with a wry smile as he placed his hands on my hips and pulled me close, carefully moving out of weapon's handle way this time.

"You know you don't have to ask. You're free do so any time you want." I said before I closed the distance between us.

Despite the night being warm with the summer breeze, the temperature difference between Souji's touch and the surrounding air was enough to send shivers up my spine. It was a simple and chaste kiss with no tongue or no wandering hands, but the simplicity of the kiss did not make it any less wonderful as all the other steamy kisses I had received. It was simple, but lovely. Souji lingered for a little while before he pulled away, but left his hands on my hips.

"So what made you want to collect that kiss?" I asked curiously. "Most people would forget about a single kiss they missed in the past, especially when they could get a kiss anytime they wanted in the present."

"Because, every moment is precious and should never be taken for granted. I remember the day I almost lost you when you were nearly raped and because of that… No matter how big or small, each moment should never be missed or taken for granted." Souji whispered as he rested his forehead against mine. "Come on, it's late. We should head back to the inn."

He pulled his head away from mine before he wrapped one arm around me and began directing me toward the inn. This night was wonderful and I was sure nothing could ruin it. Just as Souji and I approached the front entrance of the inn the Roshigumi was staying in, Otou-san, Hijikata-san, and Ibuki-kun burst out the building and brushed past us as they began running in the direction of the red light district.

Something was most definitely wrong. Ibuki-kun was grabbed by Shinpachi-san before they were both dragged off to spend the night with Serizawa. If Ibuki-kun was here to get Otou-sanand Hijikata-san then Serizawa must be tormenting the civilians in some form. I quickly tore out of Souji's arms and ran after the trio. I normally would have just let Hijikata-san deal with these type of situations, but I had promised Kosuzu-chan that I would keep an eye on Serizawa with Ibuki-kun this time.

"Shizuka?!" Souji cried after me.

"I'm going to go help! Just wait at the inn for me!" I called back to stop Souji from coming with me. "I'll be fine! Otou-san and Hijikata-san will be there too, so don't worry!"

I quickly ran after those three from earlier. They were already out of sight, but I was pretty sure I knew where they were going. Serizawa was probably causing trouble in the biggest and fanciest geisha establishment in the red light district of Osaka. I only hoped I wasn't going to arrive too late to help.

"Please forgive me!" I heard a woman cry as I entered a hallway in the biggest geisha establishment I could find in the red light district. I quickened my pace and found a room with the door wide open and Otou-san standing in the doorway.

"Hijikata-san!" I heard Ibuki-kun yell before I rushed into the room, surprising Otou-san as I breezed past him.

The room was a terrible mess. The small tray tables that food was served on were overturned. There was food smeared all over the tatami mat floor and broken shards of ceramic dishes everywhere. A wall of shoji doors was smashed to pieces as a beat up Ibuki-kun kneeled on the floor amidst the smashed doors. He must have been thrown through the doors. But the most shocking sight was Hijikata-san holding down a geisha with his short sword posed to cut her hair.

"Don't move." Hijikata-san said to the geisha before his sword twitched forward.

"Wait!" I yelled at Hijikata-san, causing him to freeze in shock at my presence.

"Shizuka! What are you doing here?!" Hijikata-san yelled back in surprise at me. "Go back to the inn!"

"No! What the hell are you doing?! You're supposed to be preventing these situations from happening, not aiding them!" I yelled back before turning to Ibuki-kun to demand an answer. "Ibuki-kun, tell me what happened! Now!"

"Serizawa said to punish the geisha for disrespecting him that he would cut off their hair as punishment, but he also said that since he's so drunk he might accidently cut off their heads!" Ibuki-kun quickly explained with desperation. "Hijikata-san said he would do it if it would satisfy Serizawa."

"Go back to the inn! Now!" Hijikata-san yelled at me sternly once again before saying with a guilty tone, "I don't want you here to see this. Now go!"

"No!" I declared as Iheld my ground.

I promised Kosuzu-chan I would help Ibuki-kun and if he failed then it would break her heart. If the situation continued as is, then Ibuki-kun would never be able to have a chance of having a life with Kosuzu-chan.

"Hmph!" Serizawa snorted as he watched all the drama.

I quickly looked at Serizawa through the corner of my eyes. Serizawa stood there with that stupid drunken flush on his face along with a smug grin. That bastard was enjoying all of this! But, if that horrid man was enjoying all of this then maybe there was a way to use that to protect the two geisha.

"Serizawa," I addressed the man sternly, "you said cutting off their hair was suffice, yes?"

"What do you think, you silly girl?! You must be deaf and dumb!" he insulted me.

"Will my hair be enough to take their place?" I asked seriously while glaring back at him. There was no point in trying to insult him back.

"Shizu-chan!" Otou-san cried out in alarm. "What are you doing?!"

I knew that Serizawa absolutely hated me because of all the disrespect and trouble I caused him. If he knew that he could get me to suffer and get someone I considered family to inflict the suffering then he would be unable to resist the opportunity.

Just as I predicted, Serizawa's smug grin became wider at my offer. "Hahaha! So you're willing to take the punishment for some women you never met before? Very well. Hijikata! Release that geisha and cut the girl's hair instead!"

At those words Hijikata-san's fierce expression melted into one of deep horror and sorrow. He thought of me like a little sister and now he was being forced to inflict harm on me? No, it didn't sit well with him at all. It was already hard enough for him to inflict harm on a stranger. It was going to be harder for him to hurt the one he considered family.

I silently went to go kneel next to the geisha that Hijikata-san was holding down to say words of comfort.

"Don't cry anymore, okay? Everything will be fine. I'll take your and your shimai's place, so quickly leave the room." I said gently as I pried off Hijikata-san's hands.

Unlike the geisha who needed their long hair for work, I didn't exactly need my long hair. In fact, if it weren't for Souji, I probably would have already cut my hair shorter in the first place. Ever since I grew out my hair, Souji would pull my hair down and run his fingers through it when we were alone together. He was also the one who said that he would like to see me with long hair. While I did like all the different fancy things that one could do with long hair, it was a hassle I could live without. The amount of knots, tangles, and dirt that could collect in long hair was pretty scary. Souji might get upset if I had my hair cut, but he would understand my reason and get over it. My hair would grow back.

"T-Thank you! Thank you!" the geisha cried as they quickly made their way to the door.

"Shizuka…" Hijikata-san said my name sadly as I took my place in front of him.

"I will never forgive you if you give me a bad haircut." I said jokingly back to Hijikata-san. There was no need to for him to look so sad. Hair does grow back after all. I gave him a small smile to let him know everything was okay.

"You—" Hijikata-san said before giving me a strained smile. "Then you better not move and make me mess up."

Just as Hijikata-san was about to remove my kanzashi so that he could begin cutting my hair, Serizawa stopped him.

"Wait." Serizawa said with a wicked grin. The geisha, who were both at the door and about the leave, froze in fear. Both were afraid that the man had changed his mind. "There were two geisha that insulted me and there is only one of you. There should be another punishment, should there not?"

"Serizawa-san!" Otou-san called out in panic. "This punishment is already harsh enough to count for two people! Please let it slide!"

"Oh? If you don't want your daughter take another punishment then chose one of those geisha to come back to receive the other punishment." Serizawa said.

Otou-san grit his teeth and backed down. He knew he could not win against Serizawa this time. That threat came too close for comfort to the escaping geisha, causing them to bolt out the door after that. Serizawa approached me and knelt down in front of me so he could slide a finger under my chin to force me to look back at him.

"Your other punishment…" Serizawa said out loud before smiling cruelly at me. "You can offer yourself to me. You are fairly pleasing to the eye."

I growled at him before I snapped at his fingers with my teeth. Serizawa quickly pulled his hand away to prevent himself from losing any fingers. How dare he?!

"Don't. Touch. Me." I snarled back at him in dark rage. "You have no right to touch me. I swear I will bite off any of your appendages if they even come close to me."

"Hmph! The fiery ones are always the most fun to break. But no, I suppose the right to intimately touch you belongs to your brat of a husband." Serizawa said before reaching out to snatch my kanzashi out of my hair. No! I couldn't let him take that! "Then I'll be taking this instead."

"No! Give that back!" I cried in distress as I lunged at him. Hijikata-san quickly grabbed me and held me in place with great difficulty as I continued to struggle.

I couldn't let Serizawa take my kanzashi. That was the one that Souji bought for me. While I was rather dense when it came to romantic love, I wasn't dense enough to not realize what that kanzashi had come to symbolize. Souji bought that for me with the little money he had at the time, despite it being so expensive. He was presenting to me with his very best and giving me his heart when he gave that kanzashi to me. I could not let Serizawa spit on Souji's efforts. I couldn't…no… I had to get it back…

"No…give it back…give it back..." I continued to plead in tears despite knowing it was hopeless. Hijikata-san's grip on me was too tight. He was unwilling to let me go, afraid that Serizawa might do something worse to me if I attacked him.

"Oh? This hair ornament appears to have a rather good quality." Serizawa taunted me with that terrible smirk of his. "I wonder how many coins it'll fetch when I pawn it off at the market? Hijikata, cut her hair now."

I fell silent as I grit my teeth and curled my hands in to fists. I hate him. I HATE him. I HATE HIM! My silent tears never ceased to fall as Hijikata-san set to work on my hair. I hate Serizawa, but I will never hate him as much as I hated myself for allowing him to take my kanzashi. How was I going to face Souji now? I had not only allowed another man to cut the long hair that he adored so much, but also allowed said man to take the precious gift he had worked so hard to purchase to give to me. I was a terrible person.

* * *

"Shizuka!" I heard Souji cry in distress when he spotted me in Otou-san's arms when we returned to the inn.

I had buried my face into Otou-san's clothing. I couldn't face Souji like this. I had no more will to return to the inn after Hijikata-san had finished cutting my hair, so Otou-san had to carry me back.

"Here, I'll take her now, Kondou-san." Souji said before taking me out of Otou-san's arms and cradled me against his chest. Why was he still so gentle with me? Shouldn't he me mad at me for what I allowed to happen?

"What happened?! You were there too, Hijikata-san! How could you allow this to happen?!" Souji exploded in rage after I was safely in his arms.

Hijikata-san looked away in shame.

"You shouldn't put the blame only on Hijikata-san alone, Souji!" Shinpachi-san defended. "It wasn't his fault alone. Kondou-san, Ryunosuke, and I were there as well. None of us could do anything."

The tears that I had managed to stop flowing before started to trickle down my cheeks again as I spoke up.

"It's not their fault." I whispered. "I couldn't let those geisha suffer Serizawa's wrath because I made a promise. If you should be mad at anybody, then it should be me. I allowed this to happen. I'm sorry. I'll understand if you don't want to see me right now..."

I broke into a silent sob afterwards. Souji's face lost its sharp edge as he tightened his hold on me and carried me away from everyone.

"No," he whispered gently to me before he kissed my forehead, "it's not your fault. Shh, don't cry anymore."

"Okita! Wait!" a voice called out. Ibuki-kun ran as fast as he could down the inn's hall to catch up to us.

"What do you want?" Souji snarled with great hostility.

"I-It's my fault everything happened." Ibuki-kun said while looking downcast. "If I didn't make that promise to Kosuzu then none of this would have happened…"

"You're right." Souji said darkly. "It's your fault all this happened, but it wasn't because of that promise. Shizuka told me the other night that she wanted you to run away with that maiko so that the maiko could be free and so that you could be free of Serizawa. If Serizawa had managed to do something to those geisha tonight, you would have lost your chance with that maiko. If Shizuka didn't sacrifice everything she just did for you, then I would kill you right now. If you're really sorry, don't let Shizuka's sacrifice go to waste."

Ibuki-kun fell silent after what Souji had said and watched him carry me into the privacy of our room.

"Shhh, no more tears now." Souji said gently to me as he sat down on the futon and wiped away my tears. "You're okay. None of this is your fault. I'm not mad at you.

"H-How can you not be? I let another man hurt—" I said tearfully.

"You didn't let him hurt you." Souji said firmly. "Serizawa forcefully hurt you, but I really wish you would stop being so selfless all the time. You were lucky that it was just your hair and the kanzashi this time."

"I'm sorry…"

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm still here with you. It's okay if your long hair and kanzashi are gone. I'm still here."


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." ― Mark Twain

I was tickled awake by the gentle, warm, exhale of Souji's breath during the middle of the night. Souji had his face tucked into the back of my bare neck and his arm limply thrown over my torso as he continued to sleep peacefully while pressed up against my back. The long hair that had once flowed down to my lower back when unbound was now shoulder length again and no longer covered the back of my neck when I laid down as well as it once did. That long hair had once prevented Souji from directly breathing on my neck while he slept and now that it was gone I had to quickly adjust to having Souji breathe on my neck, which I failed to do and was still failing to do.

When we all returned to Kyoto from the Osaka job, news of what had happened that night had already managed to spread to Kyoto. The ones that did not come on the job: Sannan-san, Sano-san, and Heisuke, had already heard what had happened in Osaka and tried to offer me words of comfort, but I refused to accept their words. I didn't need any more words of comfort. Souji had already taken care of that when he calmed me down and told me that he wasn't upset with me. What was left behind after the sadness had faded was a deep-seated burning rage. Serizawa will get what is coming to him one way or another.

Shifting in the futon to get comfortable again, I attempted to go back to sleep. Just as I was about to fall asleep again, I got the nagging feeling that a certain someone was going to randomly show up. What I predicted came true as the door was silently slid open and closed again as my sister-like friend tiptoed into the room with her tongue sticking out of her mouth in a silly fashion.

"Are you awake?" Kyoko-chan whispered before sitting down near my side of the futon.

"Yeah." I answered quietly to prevent Souji from waking up Souji. Souji had the first patrol tomorrow with Heisuke and he needed his sleep.

However, even though he was asleep and Kyoko-chan was careful not to make any noise, Souji's sharp senses were still at work as he stirred in his sleep. His arms moved down to my waist and he pulled me even closer to him before he groaned.

"What are you doing here?" Souji groaned sleepily at Kyoko-chan with closed eyes as he pressed his face further against the back of my neck.

"I have some news for Shizuka-chan." Kyoko-chan quietly answered Souji.

Souji grunted in response before making himself comfortable again and drifted back into a half-asleep state.

"What's the news?" I asked quietly, mindful of Souji's tired, slumbering form next to me.

"You know how the news of what happened in Osaka already spread to Kyoto, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, it had an interesting effect on how the civilians view the Roshigumi now."

Their perceptions changed? The point of me taking the place of the geisha that night was to prevent the Roshigumi name from sinking any lower and to ensure that Ibuki-kun still had a chance with Kosuzu-chan. Was this change a good change or a bad change? Just what did my actions do?

"Explain." I said as I untangled myself from Souji's arms before I shot up.

Souji groaned at my actions and groped around the futon for me with his eyes close. Realizing I was no longer laying down, Souji opened his eyes and looked at me with a frown.

"Sorry." I quickly apologized to Souji while stroking the side of his face gently. "This should only take a few minutes."

Souji kept his frown but said nothing. Instead of returning to sleep, he just laid there with his eyes open and watched Kyoko-chan and I converse.

"You know how the public's perception of the Roshigumi is pretty negative?" Kyoko-chan continued.

"Yeah. Did the news of what happened in Osaka damage the Roshigumi's name anymore?" I asked with worry.

"That part is somewhat debatable."

"Debatable? What do you mean by that?" I asked in puzzlement. Just what did the events in Osaka do?

"Before, the Roshigumi was just seen by the civilians in a negative light, but the views have now split because of what you did." Kyoko-chan explained. "When the geisha were about to receive a harsh punishment from one of two the commanders of the Roshigumi, you, the daughter of the other commander and the wife of a captain, stood up and took the place of the two geisha. Because people take your actions as a reflection of what the other commander and captains would have done, most don't see the Roshigumi as wholly bad anymore."

"How is that debatable?" I asked confusedly. "If the people don't see the Roshigumi as completely bad anymore, then isn't that a good thing?"

"Well, normally yes, but also paints a picture of two opposing ends making up the Roshigumi. There is Serizawa: the 'big bad wolf' and there is your otou-san: the protector 'sheepdog'. If there are factions in the Roshigumi, people will see it as divided which equals weak. The people will believe a weak organization cannot protect them while the ronin will disregard the Roshigumi even more, believing that the Roshigumi is not organized enough to stop crime." Kyoko-chan pointed out further. "Then, when we're talking about how people actually view the Roshigumi, there are currently two views."

"Are they good or are they both bad?" I questioned. It was easier for people to only see the bad, after all.

"Well, the first view is that the Roshigumi is not bad as it was previously thought to be, but it is still ultimately bad. Serizawa is seen as harsh and merciless while your otou-san's faction is seen as kind. The civilians who have this view believe that Serizawa is a loose cannon and that your otou-san's side, while kind, still blindly follow Serizawa's orders that harm the general public most of the time."

Okay, so that was really bad. Blindly followed orders? That implied that those civilians believed the other Roshigumi authority figures were incompetent men that could not think for themselves. Maybe the other view was something better that can be worked with.

"And the other?" I asked, feeling a bit discouraged.

"The other is that the Roshigumi consists of decent men under bad authority. Your actions that night reflected the other commander's and captains' beliefs to the people and now those people believe that Serizawa is the infectious thorn that needs to be removed in order for the Roshigumi to function properly. Although, the people who have this view are still fearful of the Roshigumi because of past actions committed. While kind, your otou-san and his men are still capable of great and terrible things."

"That second view's not so bad." Souji commented from the futon. "If we work from the angle of the second view, then Kondou-san can take full control of the Roshigumi if Serizawa is removed."

"You mean when." I corrected. "When Serizawa is disposed of."

"Sure." Souji shrugged at my correction before he threw his arm over my lap.

"Because of that last view, some of the civilians are asking for Serizawa to step down from his position. They believe that it would be more peaceful and less terrifying with your otou-san in control. If those people get loud enough, then Aizu will be forced to take action." Kyoko-chan added.

"So our next step now is making sure that Serizawa continues to make himself look bad while raising up everyone else's reputation." I said my thought out loud.

Kyoko-chan smirked confidently, "We have all we need to dispose of Serizawa now. Your actions on the night you took the place of those geisha created the noose and all that's left to do is to tighten it."

Ah, a sense of poetic justice. Serizawa had meant to hurt me that night, but even though he did succeed in hurting me, those actions that he took that night would now be used against him.

"Oh, I have another piece of news for you." Kyoko-chan added on as an afterthought. "Ibuki contacted Kenji earlier today to ask for help."

"Help?" I asked.

"He decided that he's going to take his chances with Kosuzu-chan. He's going to run away with Kosuzu-chan as soon as Kenji gets everything set up for him."

"So he decided to take my words seriously, huh?" Souji said while looking satisfied. "Looks like he's not as stupid as he looks."

"How long before he leaves?" I asked Kyoko-chan after glancing at Souji. Souji could be pretty mean at times.

"Everything should be ready for him in a couple of weeks." answered Kyoko-chan.

"Good riddance." Souji said with a yawn before he decide it wasn't enough to put his arm on my lap and swiftly placed his head on my lap.

"Okay," Kyoko-chan said as she made her exit, "now that you know, I need to sneak back home before my parents realized that I snuck out again. Last time's punishment for sneaking out was not fun. They're always lecturing me on how a lady with my appearance should act more like a proper lady."

"Why didn't you just wait until morning?" I asked. The information she told me was important, but not urgent. Why sneak out in the middle of the night?

"Because I couldn't sleep." she called back as she slipped out the door and out of sight.

"Really? Just because she couldn't sleep?" Souji snorted before he rolled on top of me, making me lie down on the futon again. "I hope she stops breaking in the middle of the night once she gets married."

"She probably will, but she will also probably start breaking in during the day more to make up for it." I pointed out as I shifted again to get comfortable. I loved Kyoko-chan and all, but I could live without the random night visits.

Souji grunted as an answer as he shifted back to his original position and face found a comfortable spot once again against the back of my neck. After shifting in silence for a couple more minutes, he spoke up.

"Hey, Shizuka?"

"Hmm?"

"How does a women's menstrual cycle work?"

What? That was an unexpected question. Why did he want to know? Most men during this era didn't ask or want to know about a woman's menstrual cycle, especially if they weren't doctors.

"Why do you want to know?" I asked.

"Because," he said as he nuzzled the back of my neck, "I have been trying to get you pregnant and so far, no luck. Conception has something to do with timing, right? If I get the timing down, then wouldn't it be easier to get you pregnant?"

Ah, so that's why he wanted to know. He did have a point and was actually interested in the menstrual cycle. He was pretty dedicated and took his role as a husband seriously, but he needed to take into consideration that we also hadn't been married for very long either. It took time to get pregnant.

"Well, women's cycle lengths vary with the most common cycle length somewhere between twenty-one and thirty-five days. The first phase of the menstrual cycle is the menstrual phase, which is a woman's monthly bleeding. During this phase, the menstrual blood, which is also known as menses, is shed from the lining of the uterus. The blood leaves the body through the cervix, vagina and out the vaginal opening. This will usually last about three to seven days with the normal amount of menstrual flow for the entire period being about a quarter of a cup." I explained.

"How many days is your flow?" Souji asked. "And how long is your entire cycle?"

"My flow is about five days, sometimes four and my entire cycle is about twenty-eight days." I answered. "The next phase of the menstrual cycle is the follicular phase. During this phase, the hormone called estrogen causes the lining of the womb to thicken. This lining, which is called the endometrium, starts to develop so it can receive a fertilized egg if the woman should become pregnant. During this time, the increase of another hormone, called the follicle-stimulating hormone, stimulates the growth of the ovarian follicles. Each follicle contains an egg and by the late follicular phase, only a single follicle will remain active."

"Wait," Souji said to pause my explanation, "what's a follicle?"

"Just think of them as the little capsules that hold the eggs in a woman until they're ready to be used." I said with a simplified explanation. "Anyways, back to my explanation. The levels of estrogen will sharply rise towards the end of the phase, causing the levels of another hormone, called the luteinizing hormone, to spike. When that hormone level spikes, it causes the follicle to rupture and release the egg."

"Rupture?" he interrupted. "Doesn't that hurt?"

"Not for me, but some other women claim that they can feel it." I said. "The next phase, which you're probably the most interested in, is the ovulation phase. Ovulation is what happens when a mature egg is released from the follicle in the ovaries to the nearest fallopian tube. This is when the egg travels to the womb. The egg travels down the fallopian tube over about three to four days. Fertilization must occur within twelve to twenty-four hours or the egg degenerates. A woman is most fertile around the two days before and the day of ovulation." I continued to explain. "The next phase is the luteal ph— Souji?!"

Before I could continue with my little explanation, Souji quickly rolled on top of me again and pinned me below him.

"You said that your menstrual cycle is twenty-eight days long, so when does ovulation occur for you?" Souji asked.

"Umm…about day fourteen… Why are you—?"

"What day are you on right now? I know you keep track of your cycle." he pressed almost urgently.

"I'm on day twelve right now… Why are you askin—Souji!?"

Right after I answered what he wanted, Souji quickly pulled the sash, that was keeping my sleeping robe shut, loose, interrupting me before he quickly moved to work on the sash holding his own robe shut.

"Well then, this would be the perfect time to be having sex, wouldn't it?" he said impishly before he winked at me.

"Y-Yes, b-but it's the middle of the night and aren't you tired?" I asked in surprise.

"I can't sleep anymore." he said almost excitedly as he tossed his robe off to the side. "Well since I can't sleep anymore, might as well make good use of this time."

"Now?" I asked as he pulled off my sleepwear. "You have patrol first thing in the morning. You should be getting the proper amount of sleep."

"Why not now?" he said as he settled over me. "If we have sex now, I'll be tired enough afterwards to fall asleep easily. Plus, according to the explanation you just gave me, you're fertile right now. Can't let that go to waste."

"Souji, but what about—Ohh…" I said as his mouth latched on to one of my breasts.

Souji moved swiftly afterwards as he moved his hand to my other breast before he pushed a knee between my legs to spread them so he could comfortably rest between my legs.

"You won't say no to me, right?" Souji asked with puppy eyes after he released my nipple so he could kiss me on the lips.

"Fine, but since it's in the middle of the night we have to be quiet. Ohh…" I relented before sighing in pleasure when his nether regions brushed up against mine briefly. "Souji…"

* * *

"Ah! There you are Shizu-chan." Otou-san said as he called me over with a smile as I was finishing hanging the blankets to dry. "I need your help with some filing… Are you okay? You look a bit tired."

"That's Souji's fault." I said before yawning. "He was trying to get me pregnant last night. I told him I was fertile last night and the rest was history."

"Oh! How's that going— I mean— Are you getting enough rest?" Otou-san fumbled, revealing his real thoughts on the issue. He must really want those grandkids.

"You said you needed some help with filing?" I ignored what Otou-san asked before.

"Hmm? Oh, that's right! Toshi's room is covered in papers and he didn't want to ask for any help." Otou-san explained.

"Oh, so it's Hijikata-san that needs the help. I just finished washing and hanging the dirty sheets, so I can go over and help him now." I said as I began to head towards Hijikata-san's room.

Otou-san was right about Hijikata-san needing some help to sort out his papers. His room was overflowing with papers he had no time to organize. As soon as I opened the door, Hijikata-san cried in panic when the pile of paper leaning against the door fell over and spilled outside. I looked tired? I willing to bet that Hijikata-san was more tired than I was.

"Need some help?" I asked wryly as I scooped up the papers that had spilled outside.

He sighed before giving me a defeated look, "Yes… Some tea would be nice too…"

"Take a short break." I said as I put the papers in my arms on his desk before offering him an encouraging smile. "We can start organizing everything when I come back with your tea and some snacks." I said before I left the room to go fetch the tea and snacks.

"So," I said as I placed a cup of green tea and a plate of toasted mochi[1] on the desk as soon as I returned before sitting down next to him, "why did you let the mess get so bad? You know that I'm always willing to help you organize your papers when you're too busy to do it yourself."

Hijikata-san, who had brought the cup of tea to his mouth, paused and brought the cup back down without taking a sip before he averted his gaze with shame and guilt. He remained silent as he struggled to come up with words to say.

"You're still feeling guilty about the hair incident in Osaka, aren't you?" I said. The question was really a statement. Hijikata-san remained silent as his hands tightened around the ceramic cup in his lap. "You shouldn't feel guilty about something that's not your fault."

"It was my fault." Hijikata-san muttered while staring at the loose paper on the ground. "I watched you cry as I cut your hair. Don't tell me it's not my fault."

I had enough of his downtrodden attitude. He had barely spoken to me since we returned to Kyoto and it was high time for him to snap out of this state. Deciding some pain was the best way to snap him out of his mopey state, I reached for his bangs that were draped over his face from looking down and pulled as hard as I could.

"OW! What the hell are you doing?! Let go of my hair!" Hijikata-san cried in pain before giving me a slight glare while rubbing the spot on his head where his bangs were attached to.

"Are you done with your self-hatred?"

"Self-hatred? What self-hatred?!" he said while looking insulted at what I said.

"Look, I was only crying because Serizawa took my kanzashi and because I thought Souji was going to be disappointed in me for allowing Serizawa to do so much me. I don't really care if my hair is long or short." I snorted. "You shouldn't be feeling guilty about cutting off something I don't really care about. In fact, I would have kept my own hair short if Souji didn't like it long."

"I still don't have an excuse for what I did." Hijikata-san said with a depressed sigh. "I'm supposed to protect my little sister-like figure, not carry out the punishment orders of a man that clearly dislikes her."

Seriously, this man… I defiantly stuck my pointer finger at his face. "Who do you think you are? My guardian? When I want your protection, I'll ask for it. I willingly offered to take the punishment for those two geisha without anyone making me. What happened was not your fault."

"You— Why are you so hardheaded? Fine! You win!" Hijikata-san said exasperatedly before giving me a small smile. "I just can't win with you, huh?"

"Nope. Remember who I'm married to? I have to be hardheaded sometimes." I pointed out.

"No kidding." Hijikata-san agreed before drinking some of his tea. "By the way, why do you look so tired?"

Again? I don't look that tired, do I? Maybe I should go take a nap after I finished helping Hijikata-san? No, there was no time. If I went to go take a nap after this then Saito-san would take this chance to cook a tofu-only lunch, resulting in many unhappy people.

"Is it really that obvious?" I asked with a wince. What? Was my skin overly pale? Did I have dark rings around my eyes?

"Not really, you're just normally not so sluggish." Hijikata-san said. "You took almost twice as long to prepare tea than you normally do."

"Wait, you keep track of how long it normally takes for me to prepare tea?" I asked with surprise.

"Yes— That's not the point! Why are you so tired?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes, it's not like you're going out to do something illegal, right?" said Hijikata-san. True enough.

"Well, Kyoko-chan broke in again last night to bring me some news, waking Souji up in the process. After she left, Souji asked me about the menstrual cycle and when it was revealed that I was fertile at that current moment, he decided it was the perfect time to try to make a baby. Instead of going just one round, Souji decided that he wanted to go again after he was able to and went two more rounds before going back to sleep." I said, listing off what happened last night in a simplified manner.

"Ah." was Hijikata-san's simple response with a raised brow.

"Yeah…" I said. "Now, aren't we supposed to be organizing your papers? Which stack of papers do you want me to sort through first?"

"Those over there, on top of where I usually place my futon." Hijikata-san pointed to the dark dusty corner of his room. By the looks of it, his futon hadn't been rolled out in a while, meaning he probably didn't sleep last night.

"When was the last time you slept?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"The day before yesterday." he said as he started sorting through the foot tall pile of paper on his right.

"And you said that I look tired? Speak for yourself."

"I was just sitting here doing paperwork. You, on the other hand, was doing some high-energy activity with someone that has far more stamina than you." he pointed out.

* * *

CRASH!

The loud sound of wood splintering followed by a strangely haunted sounding voice broke the relative silence of the peaceful night.

"I don't want to die!" the strangely haunting voice echoed throughout the headquarters.

I tensed when I heard the strange sounds. Yamazaki-san, who I was lecturing to about the lateral corticospinal tract, froze as well before he suggested that we go investigate the source of the disturbance. We were the first to arrive on the scene, along with Hijikata-san and Otou-san. The other captains didn't take too long to join us afterwards.

"What happened, Sannan-san?!" Hijikata-san questioned in alarm. The shattered wooden splints on the ground were telltale signs of a rasetsu breaking out, but rasetsu couldn't speak, right? The "I don't want to die!" from moments before must have come from the one that broke out earlier. It couldn't have been a rasetsu, right?

"The Water of Life was administered to Saeki Matasaburo, who was supposed to commit seppuku for deviating from the way of the warrior. He managed to retain his sanity and used his newly found powers to escape from headquarters." Sannan-san said grimly.

"Wait! It worked?!" Otou-san cried in surprise and shock.

"Yes, but I'm afraid that Saeki seemed incredibly unstable when he fled headquarters." said Sannan-san. "We must kill him before he loses himself and starts to kill innocent people."

"Tsk!" Hijikata-san said as he quickly processed the information. "Harada with Heisuke, Souji with Gen-san, Shinpachi with Saito, Yamazaki with Shimada, and Shizuka, you're with me. Find him!"

"Sir!" everyone cried before dispersing.

"Come on, Shizuka." Hijikata-san called me over before taking the lead. "We're searching the Nishijin district. Any ideas on where to start?"

"The smaller side streets and the back alleys." I suggested while running after Hijikata-san. "There's little light in those places and it's not overly crowded with people at this hour. The rasetsu will aim for individuals in a dark deserted area."

"Okay, let's go." Hijikata-san said as he increased his speed.

The search with Hijikata-san was fruitless. The Nishijin[2] district was where all the textile shops were located in Kyoto, hence the streets were empty due to the shops being closed at night. It was dark enough to attract a rasetsu, but there were certainly not enough people on the streets to attract a rasetsu. Still, Hijikata-san and I kept searching the district, to be thorough, until the sun rose. We had nothing to show for our efforts. I only hoped the others had more luck, but I doubted it. If the others did find that rasetsu, then they would have sent us a message. Hijikata-san and I headed back to the headquarters to report on our lack of progress. We were the last to return to headquarters. I went to take a seat next to Souji while Hijikata-san went to take his seat next to Otou-san in the main hall. Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san, whose expressions indicated that they must have found something, went to silently tell Hijikata-san what they had found. After a few minutes of hushed whispers and nodding, Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san returned to their seats before Hijikata-san started to address everyone.

"Fellow corps member Sasaki was killed on Senbon Dōri[3] with a woman." Hijikata-san said, sharing the news that Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san just told him. "We believe the culprit was Saeki, who was turned into a rasetsu."

"Got any proof?" Heisuke asked.

"The locals are talking about how they heard animal-like growls." Sannan-san answered. "Furthermore, there was hardly any blood left in those corpses."

That was… That was seriously sick. I knew there was a possibility of rasetsu wanting to eat some part of a human but hearing that it actually did, made me want to throw up a bit. That thing was acting exactly like a vampire from those old European myths. Now only if it were weak against things like garlic and the wooden stake, like in the myths, then that would make hunting them down so much more easier.

"He drank their blood?" Shinpachi-san said while looking a little sick himself. "That's messed up!"

Supposedly, Sasaki died trying to defend the young lady." Saito-san stated.

"He protected his woman, didn't he?" Sano-san said while bringing his fist up to his chest as a sort of salute. "Until the very end…"

"We must find Saeki as soon as possible and kill him." Hijikata-san said seriously.

"I would like you to split up and begin searching for him right away." Otou-san said.

"Nagakura-kun, Harada-kun, search Shimogyō[4]." Sannan-san instructed.

"Kay'!"

"You got it!" both men addressed answered.

"Toudou-kun, Inoue-san, search Nakagyō[5]." Sannan-san continued. "Okita-kun, please search Kawaramachi[6]."

"Isn't the Choshu Domain's mansion in Kawaramachi?" Souji asked wryly. "You want me goin' somewhere that dangerous?"

"I'm asking you to go precisely because it's dangerous." Sannan-san answered without losing a beat.

"Very well." Souji said, accepting the explanation.

"If you find the rasetsu, please be sure to kill him." Sannan-san pushed. Strange, what was Sannan-san up to? He was exclusively pushing Souji to kill the rasetsu. Why?

"Of course." Souji replied.

"Shizuka," Sannan-san said, finally addressing me and snapping me out of my thoughts, "Go find Fuma-kun and see if he can assist us in this search. If he can, then work with him."

"Understood."

The second phase of the search had begun.

* * *

[1] Mochi (餅) is Japanese rice cake made of mochigome, a short-grain japonica glutinous rice. The rice is pounded into paste and molded into the desired shape.

[2] Nishijin (西陣) is a district in Kamigyō-ku, Kyoto, Japan, and (by extension) a traditional textile produced there, more narrowly referred to as Nishijin-ori (西陣織, Nishijin fabric).

[3] Suzaku Avenue or Suzaku Boulevard (朱雀大路 Suzaku Ōji) is the name given to the central avenue leading to the Imperial Palace from the south in Japanese capitals. Traditionally the Imperial palace complex faces south, whilst Suzaku Avenue leads directly away from the main gate. Cities were often based on a traditional Chinese grid pattern. Suzaku Avenue was typically the central road within the city grid, and as a result, the widest. Fujiwara-kyō, Heijō-kyō, and Heian-kyō had their own Suzaku Avenue. The word "Suzaku" refers to the Guardian God of the South, who was said to appear in the form of a bird.

In Heian-kyō, present-day Kyoto, the Rashōmon (Rajōmon, Raseimon) was at the southern end of Suzaku Avenue, flanked on the east by the temple of Tō-ji, and on the west by the temple of Sai-ji, whilst at the northern end there was the main gate of Heian Palace. Of these, only Tō-ji remains. Over time Suzaku Avenue stopped being the central street, due to the gradual abandonment of the west of the city. Eventually the road served as the western boundary of the town, until the Meiji period. Presently it is still a major street, called Senbon Street or Senbon Avenue (千本通 Senbon Dōri), and once served as a route for the city's tramline.

[4] Shimogyō (下京区) is one of the eleven wards in the city of Kyoto, in Kyoto Prefecture, Japan.

[5] Nakagyō (中京区) is one of the eleven wards in the city of Kyoto, in Kyoto Prefecture, Japan. Its name means "central capital ward."

[6] Shijō Kawaramachi (四条河原町) is a vibrant part of central Kyoto, Japan where Shijō and Kawaramachi Streets intersect. Kawaramachi Street runs parallel to the Kamo River on the eastern side of Kyoto, while Shijō Street runs east-west through the center of the city.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

"The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love." ― Stephen Kendrick, _The Love Dare_

"So, another rasetsu escaped…" said Kenji-san as he flipped through his accounting book while sitting in a cross-legged position on the floor. He flipped the book shut with one swift movement before looking at me with a serious expression.

I nodded silently in affirmation. After the meeting was over, I had rushed to locate Kenji-san so I could complete the orders that Sannan-san had given me. Before this, I actually didn't know where Kenji-san lived. Kyoko-chan never told me and I had never gone to visit him before. The only reason I was able to locate him was because his twin cousins came to fetch me while I was wandering the streets of Kyoto. How his cousins manage to figure out I was looking for Kenji-san so fast was a mystery. All I can say is that the information network this family possessed was something quite amazing. They must have eyes almost everywhere in Kyoto.

"We need help locating this rasetsu as fast as possible." I said with great urgency. "This one is much more advanced than the other ones before it. The Water of Life used on this one was much more advance and the rasetsu still managed to maintain his sanity after the transformation, though somewhat unstable."

"I know." he said. "I heard three bodies were found, each drained of blood. The other rasetsu that managed to escape the Roshigumi headquarters never actually managed to kill anyone before. This one must maintain enough reasoning skills to be a more effective hunter. We need to find it before more people fall victim to it."

Kenji-san rose from his desk before briskly walking to a large cabinet against the wall of the room and swung its doors open. As the cabinet doors opened, I caught a glimpse of what lay within. On the inside of the doors, there were shelves of various pieces of equipment like: kunai, shuriken, many different shaped hand grenades, and many more tools I could not make sense of. The most curious piece of equipment was mounted in the center wall of the cabinet. It was a lethal looking weapon that looked like it was composed of a Japanese farming sickle and a long chain with a weight at the end.

"Rasetsu are afraid of light, right? If that's the case, then small flash bombs maybe the most useful things I have against them." he mumbled while rummaging through the cabinet. He grinned at me good-naturedly when he turned around and saw me curiously staring at the wicked-looking sickle.

"What is that?" I asked with my eyes lingering on the weighted end of the chain attached to the sickle.

"That's a kusarigama." he explained as he gestured to the sickle fondly. "When I use this weapon, I would swing the weighted chain in a large circle over my head before whipping it forward to entangle my opponent's weapon. After my opponent is immobilized with the chain, I can rush forward to deliver the killing blow with the scythe."

"Is that your main weapon of choice?"

"Yeah." Kenji-san answered as he began to remove equipment from the cabinet. "Do you think you can run to the kitchen to grab one of my cousins while I get my gear? I need one of them to deliver a message to Kyoko. With a rasetsu on the loose, I don't want Kyoko going outside, especially because she doesn't know how to fight."

"Okay."

I went to the kitchen to do what Kenji-san asked. As soon as he was done preparing himself for the search, Kenji-san came to the kitchen to retrieve me so we could go on the search. It was still morning, so the rasetsu should have been rendered immobile, but the lack of activity from it would make it harder to track down. No activity from it would mean there would be no clues to lead us to it. It would have been easier to start tracking the rasetsu after the sun set, but neither Kenji nor I wanted to risk giving the rasetsu more time to attack people.

"Tell me what you know about rasetsu behavior." Kenji-san said as we left his home and began weaving through the crowded streets. "We might be able to determine its possible hiding locations based on behavior patterns."

"We all know that it can't utilize its powers in the sunlight, so it must be hiding somewhere with adequate shade in the day. But at night, the rasetsu is more active because its powers return and because it associates the light with the sunlight, it will avoid places with large amounts of light. The rasetsu also likes relatively empty locations despite feeding on human blood because too many people will make it feel uneasy." I said as I trailed behind Kenji-san.

"Then that means the rasetsu won't be on the main streets at night because of all the lights and people. That leaves the narrow side streets and back alleys that are dimly lit." Kenji-san concluded quickly as he increased his walking speed. "The thing acts like a predator and it will probably choose to stake out an area that is close to a busy main street, but still dark so that it can effectively prey on the people that stray into its kill zone. Keep up Shizuka. We need to examine the location where the corpses were found. There may still be clues."

"Okay." I panted as I struggled to keep up. Kenji-san moved fairly quickly when he was working. No wonder Kyoko-chan always had a hard time keeping up with him. It also didn't help that I was short too.

"Where were the three bodies found?"

"On Senbon Dōri, near a narrow alleyway" I answered as I jogged to keep up. "One of the corpses was discovered in the in alley next to the street the other two corpses were discovered on."

"That matches the behavior pattern in the hypothesis." he said as he sped up again towards our destination. "Come on, Shizuka. Keep up!"

"I'm trying, but I have short legs." I said as I began jogging after him again. "What type of clues are we looking for? The mess created by the rasetsu has already been cleaned up by the city officials. There might not be any clues left for us to look at."

Kenji-san slowed down and grinned at me confidently. "The people who did clean-up are good at their jobs, but they aren't perfect. They may have cleaned up the bodies and the blood, but they would have missed the subtler tracks that the rasetsu left behind. We only need to find a few signs that tell us which direction it fled in and then we can narrow down our search. We already know what type of places the rasetsu like to hide in."

He was right about the clean-up crew being good at their jobs. When we arrived at our destination, the area looked completely normal. If I did not already know about what had happened on the street the night before then I would not believe that there were three corpses here just a few hours ago. While Kenji-san was right about the clean-up being well done, I seriously doubted we would find any clues that would lead us in the right direction. The place was spotless. I didn't see any blood, any signs of struggle, or much of anything really. The place looked like it usually did. Just as I was beginning to think that the clean-up crew did get everything, Kenji-san called me into another nearby side street.

"See, they didn't get everything." he said as he pointed to a bloodstain on the side of a building.

"Strange," I muttered as I examined the bloodstain, "why is there a bloodstain here? We know from where the corpses were found that the murder occurred on the opposite side of the street…"

The blood was dry, but it was definitely from last night because the blood was not old enough to begin flaking off the wall yet. The shape of the bloodstain was different from what I would have expected too. We all knew the murders were brutal from the state of the bodies and blood splatters nearby from the original state of the crime scene, but this bloodstain wasn't a splatter, it was in a brush pattern.

"The rasetsu fled in this direction. When it was covered in blood from the kills, it accidentally brushed up against this wall while it was fleeing…" I said as I strung the clues together.

"Yeah, and it looks like it used the rooftops." Kenji-san said as he pointed to a roof tile that had been knocked ajar. "While rasetsu are fast and light on their feet, they're not exactly graceful. There are probably more tracks on the roofs. I doubt the clean-up crew checked the roofs. I'll search the roofs while you follow me from the ground."

"Okay." I said as he flipped onto the nearby roof gracefully. He quickly shot off to the left the moment his feet touched the roof. There must have been quite a trail on the roof if he was able to take off so fast.

Although Kenji-san and I were pretty confident when we began to track the rasetsu, that confidence died out when we lost the trail. The rasetsu had crossed a river sometime in the night and the water washed away any other possible clues we could have used to find the damn thing. The whole day was fruitless and now with the sun setting, we could only hope that the rasetsu would be active enough to leave behind more clues we could use to track it.

The second night passed without too much luck. Thankfully, we didn't hear about any more victims appearing during the second night, but that also meant that there were no new clues to follow. It was by shear luck that we managed to narrow down our search the next day near sunset.

"It was terrifying!" I heard a man exclaimed as he spoke to a shopkeeper. I glanced tiredly at Kenji-san and he gave me a nod. Both of us paused so that we could eavesdrop on the conversation. "As I was about to take a shortcut home from Shimabara last night, I heard animal-like growls coming from the small alley I was going to take so I decided to take the long way home. There must be a feral dog living there! Can you imagine dying from rabies?"

"Excuse me good sir!" Kenji-san called out to the man amicably. "I often go down to Shimabara and I like to take shortcuts home afterwards. Do you think you can tell me which alley you heard the dog in? I'd hate to run into a feral dog while I'm heading home."

"I'm afraid I was slightly drunk last night, so I don't quite remember the exact alley, but I do remember the approximate area." the man said. "It was in the western part of Shimabara."

"Thank you my good sir! I'll be sure to avoid that area tonight." Kenji-san exclaimed as he shot me a look.

So the rasetsu was in Shimabara? We would have to move fast to get there before the sun set. Once the sun sets the rasetsu will be able to move again. We were close and I wasn't about to let it get away again. Unfortunately, we weren't fast enough. The sun had set by the time we had reached our destination, but not for long, there was still a chance the rasetsu had not left the area yet. Luck was on our side this time. When we arrived in Shimabara, I spotted Yamazaki-san nearby. With Yamazaki-san, we could cover more ground within Shimabara.

"Yamazaki-san!" I called out to get his attention.

"Sensei? Fuma-sensei?" Yamazaki-san said as he saw us. "Did your search lead you to Shimabara?"

"Yes." Kenji-san answered quickly. "We heard rumors that led us to believe the rasetsu may be hiding here. The sun just set so there may be a chance that it hasn't left he area yet. We need you to help us search the area. All of us need to split up to cover more ground."

"Got it. If you find nothing, then return back to the gate." Yamazaki-san said before we all fanned out.

I searched the northern sector of the western part of Shimabara, but my search came up dry. As I was returning to the gate, Yamazaki-san called out to me from nearby.

"Sensei! I found it." Yamazaki-san whispered the latter part in my ear as he pointed to a nearby dark alley. "I need you to keep track of it while I go alert the captains. I will take Fuma-sensei, who is probably waiting by the gates for us, with me to alert the captains. Because the captains are still searching for the rasetsu, there is a good chance they are not at the headquarters and I might need an extra hand that can help me search for and alert the captains."

"Okay." I answered with a nod. I took my place near the entrance of the alley to keep an eye on the rasetsu while waiting for someone to arrive.

I wasn't going to take the chance of dealing with it myself. I couldn't fight it in a narrow alley with my long weapon nor was I going to draw that rasetsu out into plain sight so that I could fight it. There were too many people nearby. I did not have to wait too long for the first captain to appear. The first people to arrive were Souji and surprisingly, Ibuki-kun. Ever since the events in Osaka, Souji's relationship with Ibuki-kun had gone sour and it was interesting that Souji had allowed Ibuki-kun to tag along.

"You look tired." Souji said wryly as he placed his hand on my cheek.

"Well, what did you expect?" I played along tiredly. "I have been searching with Kenji-san for two days straight."

"And yet, he didn't look tired at all when I saw him." Souji replied before kissing my forehead. "So the rasetsu is in that alley?"

"Yeah."

"Stay back. I'll go take care of it right now." Souji said before he entered the narrow alley.

I trailed behind Souji with Ibuki-kun and we both paused at the entrance of the alley while Souji continued deeper into the alley with confidence. Now that I was closer to where the rasetsu was hiding, I could smell the heavy scent of old blood. Freshly spilt blood always had an iron-like smell and never bothered me much, but the scent of blood that had been exposed to the elements for days smelled like rotting flesh. The disgusting smell was almost enough to make me gag. The blood that clung on to the rasetsu from the kills three nights ago should have been washed away by the water when it crossed the river, but here it stood covered in blood. There must have been another death during the second night. Just because Kenji-san and I didn't hear about more victims didn't mean there weren't any. That just meant the body was never found.

"You're over there, aren't you?" Souji called out tauntingly to the rasetsu. "You smell just like the last rasetsu that fled from our headquarters."

When the rasetsu heard Souji's voice, it stood up from its huddled position against the wall and stepped into the meager light that had spilled into the alley. It's entire front and, especially its mouth, was cover with drying blood. The rasetsu stared at us with crazed eyes, the sanity it once possessed now nowhere to be found. Souji drew his blade and ran forward to attack the creature.

"Blood! Give me blood!" the rasetsu cried as it parried Souji's strike with a stolen sword before rushing forward.

"Forget about it." Souji said mockingly as he got into his favorite thrusting stance.

Souji quickly lunged forward, spearing the rasetsu with his sword in the chest region. Instead of falling over, dead, like I hoped it would, the rasetsu slid backwards before leaping into the air to strike from above. Souji missed? But he never missed!

"I missed?!" Souji exclaimed in surprise as he readied himself for the rasetsu's attack.

This wasn't good. The rastsu and had the advantage of higher ground at the moment and Souji couldn't sidestep the attack due to the nature of the narrow alley. The only choice Souji had in this situation would be to parry the blow, but the downwards swing of the rasetsu was bound to be powerful due to the extra momentum of coming from higher ground. Just as I was about to run forward, Ibuki-kun grabbed a wooden bucket next to him and tossed it at the rasetsu.

"Okita!" Ibuki-kun yelled as the bucket smashed into the rasetsu, interrupting its attack.

Taking the opportunity that Ibuki-kun opened up for him, Souji quickly lunged forward to roll underneath the rasetsu so that he could secure a position behind it. As the rasetsu landed on the ground again, Ibuki-kun threw another bucket at it, but it was ready for the bucket this time and it smashed the bucket with the sword before the hit connected. Obviously unhappy with the bucket, the rasetsu turned its attention to Ibuki-kun, causing him to freeze in panic.

"Tsk!" I snapped as I reached over and drew Ibuki-kun's sword from its scabbard before quickly positioning myself in front of Ibuki-kun in a protective manner. I didn't know how to use a katana, but it was better than using my naginata in an enclosed space like this.

Before the rasetsu could make a move, Souji slashed at its neck from behind, stunning it. Souji then proceeded to stab it in the heart from behind before it could regenerate. The lifeless rasetsu collapsed on to the ground when Souji pulled his sword out. It was dead. I dropped Ibuki-kun's sword and quickly ran over to Souji to check him for any possible injuries. I didn't see him take a hit, but I wanted to be sure.

"I'm fine." Souji reassured me as he placed his free hand on my hip. "Stop worrying so much."

As Souji looked like he was going to say something else to me, a panicked but familiar voice cut in followed with the sound of many people running.

"Souji!" the voice cried before nearly everyone came to a stop at the alley entrance to stare at the dead rasetsu. Souji released my hip as we both turned to those whom had just arrived at the scene.

After a few seconds of staring at the rasetsu and at Souji, Hijikata-san quickly took charge of the situation.

"Don't let anyone near here." Hijikata-san ordered.

"Right!" Sano-san answered as he, Shinpachi-san, and Saito-san immediately went to deter people from coming closer. The inspectors quickly stepped forward so that they could deal with the body.

Hijikata-san looked at Souji quietly for a moment before saying, "Well done."

It seemed like Hijikata-san was still having a hard time dealing with Souji killing, even if it was a rasetsu. Souji's mood soured as he picked up on Hijikata-san's feelings. It was a tense moment between the two.

"Whatever, I didn't do this to get Hijikata-san's praise." Souji said as he flicked the blood off his sword and sheathed it again. He did all this without looking at Hijikata-san. He took my hand when he was done and began leading me out of the alley.

Hijikata-san sighed at Souji's response before turning his attention to Ibuki-kun. "What are you doing here?" Hijikata-san scolded. "I bet you just got in his way."

"Well…" Ibuki-kun started as he averted his gaze.

"He wasn't a complete and total deadweight." Souji said as he took me with him as we walked past the two. "I'm heading back now and Shizuka's coming with. She needs some rest."

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked Souji worriedly after we had left the proximity of the others. He wasn't taking Hijikata-san's feelings on killing so well.

Souji sighed in response, "I'm not Hijikata-san's otouto. I don't need him mothering me. He needs to start treating me like everyone else."

"Just give him some time." I said. "He's just not use to things yet because he still sees you as the little kid he met at Otou-san's dojo. This causes him to not see things as clearly as he does with other people. He'll adjust in time."

Souji seemed to doubt my words, but said nothing as we continued back to headquarters in a comfortable silence. When we arrived back at headquarters, Sannan-san was waiting for us at the front gate of the estate.

"Welcome back, both of you." Sannan-san said pleasantly.

"I killed the rasetsu exactly as ordered." Souji said. "There's nothing to worry about."

"I can see that from your looks, Okita-kun. Well done." Sannan-san said contently. Souji stared at Sannan-san confusedly for a while before he spoke.

"May I ask you something?" Souji questioned. "Why did you emphasize 'kill him' back then?"

"That's because Okita-kun is the sword of the Roshigumi."

No, I didn't want to hear this again. This conversation was reminding me too much of the conversation Souji had with Sannan-san on the day of the sparring matches for the Lieutenant General of Aizu. I wanted Souji to be himself and not to devalue himself. He was so much more than a tool and I believed his potential in other areas was limitless. I grit my teeth in silence as I listened to the men converse.

"The sword of the Roshigumi?" Souji repeated after Sannan-san.

"Your sword skill is unparalleled. Soon, words like 'there's a fearsome swordsman in this city', 'he's Okita Souji of the Mibu Roshigumi' will spread in this city. Ronin will fear your sword, and the place you belong to." Sannan-san said as if he could see the future. Souji listened quietly, displeased when he realized Sannan-san words were upsetting me.

''Hear me out, Okita-kun." Sannan-san continued. "This sword is, and will be, absolutely needed for the Roshigumi. This sword, and the strength to kill, is essential for pushing Kondou-san up."

And with those words, it was like a spell was cast. If something is said to be "for Kondou-san" then Souji wouldn't go against it. He couldn't. Sannan-san continued speaking, like he was driving Souji into a corner.

"I'm afraid your sword will be stained with even more blood afterwards. In some cases, possibly not in the way the Commander of the Roshigumi will hope for… I believe it's something your sword can cut off eventually." Sannan-san finished.

Souji stared back at Sannan-san silently. Sannan-san stared back without avoiding Souji's stare. The intensity of the atmosphere was tense until Souji sighed at smiled at Sannan-san.

"I see. Sannan-san knows how to use me better than Hijikata-san does." Souji stated with his smile.

"Okita-kun understands, right?" Sannan-san said with a bitter smile before glancing at me briefly. "Kondou-san and Hijikata-san definitely acknowledge your strength. However, what's dear to them isn't your talent, but you yourself. It's just that I'm more heartless than they are. Isn't that right, Shizuka-chan?"

"Why are you bringing me into this conversation?" I asked with rage simmering underneath my normally calm surface. "You know how I feel about this. You know I feel the same way as Otou-san and Hijikata-san."

"Because I know you see the valid points in my argument. I know you would do the exact same thing if you weren't so attached to Okita-kun. I know what you have planned out for Serizawa. We are a lot more similar to each other than we are different."

What Sannan-san said was true. If Otou-san was to rise to the top, then he would need someone who could kill without hesitation, someone who could complete the dirtiest jobs. Souji was perfect for this role. He had no problems with killing and could do so without hesitation, but I didn't want Souji to take this role. This role that Sannan-san was offering to him was not something that a person could turn off and on at will. It didn't matter if Souji was apathetic towards killing; this role would start to affect him one way or another. I didn't want Souji to loose himself. But what Sannan-san said was right, if I didn't love Souji the way I do now then I would have said exactly what he said to Souji so that Otou-san could rise up.

Sannan-san sighed when he saw my anger slowly burn away only to be replaced by a conflicted expression.

"I'm sure you two have plenty to speak about right now." Sannan-san said before he began to leave. "I'll let you two have some privacy."

Both of us stood in silence for several minutes after Sannan-san left. Souji broke the silence as he began to pour water over the blade his sword as a part of maintenance.

"Shizuka…" Souji said quietly. "This is something I have to do… Please, I need you to understand."

"I know." I said as I sadly looked down the water running off his blade. "But I want you to know that you don't have to hide your feelings all the time when you become the 'sword'. If you're the Roshigumi's 'sword' then I'll become your 'sheath'. I'll become the home you can return to every time to rest. I'll share your heavy yolk."

Souji paused his actions when I grew silent again. I took Souji's sword out of his hand and leaned it against the well so I could embrace him. I started speaking again as I place my head against his chest.

"You will be forced to do some dirty jobs in the future with this role, but there is nothing you can ever do that will chase me away or make me stop loving you. So please, never hide your true emotions around me and never forget who you are. Never forget I love you and that I will always be here for you. I believe in you."

"I know." Souji said softly as he hugged me back fiercely. "Thank you for everything."


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

"All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." ― Samuel Beckett, _Worstward Ho_

"So," I said as I popped my head into the kitchen like an unwelcome weed, "When are you planning on running off with Kosuzu-chan?"

"GAH!" Ibuki-kun cried in surprise and flailed around a bit before he completely lost his balance and fell on his butt on the kitchen floor. Well, that was quite a rude welcoming. "Don't do that! If I was holding Serizawa-san's saké, then I would've dropped it and been forced to run back to the market to buy more!"

"You never answered my question." I pointed out with annoying cheerfulness.

"I haven't figured out when yet." Ibuki-kun said as he stood up again and dusted off his clothing. "I have to leave on a night when everyone is too busy to wonder where I've gone. They'll never just let me go normally because of all the Water of Life crap I know about."

"Hmm… I didn't think you would factor in the Water of Life stuff while planning your getaway plan." I said before grinning happily. "Ibuki-kun is smarter than he looks."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!" he snapped back. "How could I not factor it in when Fuma told me to consider it while planning the escape plan?!"

"Ah, so Kenji-san told you to consider it as a factor. Doesn't that mean you didn't think to factor it in before talking to Kenji-san?" I said cheerfully.

"You're just implying that I'm stupid, aren't you?" Ibuki-kun muttered under his breath.

"You're just inferring things." I said before becoming serious. It was time to stop messing with Ibuki-kun's head. "I would suggest you hurry up and find a night you can safely sneak off with Kosuzu-chan. Things are about to become very serious here. You don't want to get caught up in what's going to happen next. Serizawa's behavior has been getting more unstable and there are bound to be consequences for his actions soon."

"But I need to find a night where people are too caught up with other things to have time or energy to consider me." Ibuki-kun said again. "There have been no openings so far."

"How about next week on August 13th?" I suggested.

"August 13th? What's so special about that day?"

"On August 13th, the Roshigumi will be helping in a joint sumo wrestling performance with the wrestlers from Kyoto and Osaka. Everyone will be too focused on making sure the performance is successful because it will help amend the relationship with the sumo wrestlers in Osaka and help clear the Roshigumi's name in Osaka from that fiasco back in June." I explained. "Also, since sumo wrestling is very popular in both Osaka and Kyoto, when townsfolk rush to watch the performance, they will see the Roshigumi working alongside the sumo wrestlers, thus presenting the Roshigumi in a good light."

"Ohh, I see…" Ibuki-kun nodded at my explanation. "So everyone will be focused on the performance to not notice me missing until it's too late. But isn't the performance during the day? I won't be able to run away with Kosuzu if it's daytime. People will see Kosuzu and try to capture us."

"You'll be leaving at night, not during the day." I said to try to clarify everything. "Everyone should be tired out from the hard work during the day, so at night they'll be more lax, making it less likely anyone will be thinking about you. Plus, if the sumo performance is extremely successful, Shinpachi-san, Sano-san, or Heisuke will suggest a party, which Hijikata-san won't say no to. You can sneak out and run away with Kosuzu-chan while everyone is busy with the party. Kenji-san can ensure a safe extraction for Kosuzu-chan from the okiya. All you need to do is get out of headquarters without being noticed and meet up with Kosuzu-chan. One of Kenji-san's relatives will lead you out of Kyoto from there and to the place they prepared for you in the village."

"That makes sense... But won't the Roshigumi try to track me down after they realize I'm gone? I do know about the Water of Life." Ibuki-kun asked.

"Don't worry about that. I'll handle that end with Souji." I said before switching back to my annoying cheerful persona and pointing to the saké that Ibuki-kun was heating up for Serizawa. "That saké should be hot by now. You spent too much time talking to me and Serizawa's waiting for it."

"AH!" Ibuki-kun cried as he scrambled to take the hot sake to Serizawa. "He's going to beat me again if I take too long!" He rushed out the kitchen as fast as he could with the hot saké while disregarding the burns he was going to get from carrying the hot flask with his bare hands.

"Hmm… he seems energetic." someone said from outside the kitchen on the other side of the open door.

I stuck my head out the door to find Souji watching Ibuki-kun run down the hallway. Souji's arms were crossed in amusement as he snickered when Ibuki-kun nearly tripped.

"Hi!" I greeted Souji cheerfully as I bounced up to him. He chuckled at my playful behavior before he pulled me against his chest and loosely wrapped his arms around my lower waist. "So what did Hijikata-san want you to do?"

"He wants me to work with the yobidashi[1] in preparation for the sumo match." Souji said. "Since a new dohyō needs to be built for each new tournament, Hijikata-san wants me to help obtain the materials needed."

"Oh! So that means you need to go get…umm…hmm… What's a dohyō?" And exactly what is needed to build one? I didn't exactly follow or watch sumo wrestling.

Souji laughed at the confused face I was making as I tried to figure out what was a dohyō. "Looks like this is out of your normally large range of knowledge." he said teasingly.

"Noooo, don't laugh at meeee." I whined childishly as I buried my face into his chest. "I've never watched a sumo wrestling match before, so how am I supposed to know what a dohyō is or, let alone, what's used to make one?"

His whole body shook with laughter at my whiny response before he calmed down enough to answer me, but before he could speak, he saw me pouting at him and he broke out into another fit of laughter.

"Hey!" I complained.

"Sorry, sorry!" Souji said as he shook off the last of his snickers and poked my cheek. "It's just the cute face you were making at me. But you know, your mood has been all over the place this last week, among other things. You're bouncy and bubbly one moment, serious and easily irritable the next. Everything okay?"

"It's nothing." I said as I brushed off his question. "So?" I asked. "Weren't you going to tell the materials needed to construct a dohyō?"

"Alright." Souji said with a grin before he set to work to explain what a dohyō was. "A dohyō is the ring where the sumo wrestling bouts are held. The ring of the dohyō is composed of rice-straw bales and the diameter of the ring is roughly about thirteen shaku[2] in length. The square clay platform the ring is placed upon is about twenty-two shaku long on each side and is anywhere from one to two shaku high. The surface of the dohyō is covered with sand."

"Oh!" I said while nodding at Souji's explanation. So the dohyō was the ring and platform for the sumo wrestlers. "How do you know so much about sumo wrestling?"

"I do have to help with the sumo performance, don't I? It would also help if I knew a bit about the sport." he pointed out wryly. "Besides, I was hoping to impress a certain someone. So, did it work?"

"When have your efforts ever gone unrewarded with me?" I asked with a small laugh before giving him a brief kiss. "So, what do you think?"

"I think that I should have gotten more than just a kiss for a reward." Souji said while looking expectantly at me with a raised eyebrow.

"You'll get more later." I responded before untangling myself from his arms and pulling on them playfully. "Come on, I'll go with you to get the materials needed."

Souji smiled at me before he allowed himself to be dragged along by me. With Kyoko-chan's help, we were able to obtain everything we needed in a single afternoon. It actually didn't even take the whole afternoon. Kyoko-chan's contacts were able to obtain all the materials needed and dropped everything off for us at headquarters within three hours. Otou-san and Hijikata-san stood and stared flabbergasted at all the supplies Souji was sent to get when they stepped outside and saw the mountain of materials. Souji grinned smugly at Hijikata-san when Hijikata-san was rendered speechless.

* * *

"Wow!" Heisuke gapped in amazement as he watched the sumo wrestle with each other on the day of the sumo performance. Ibuki-kun, who had tagged along, for the last time, stood next to Heisuke and gapped alongside him.

Shinpachi-san got annoyed with Heisuke's and Ibuki-kun's gapping mouths and approached them from behind to tap on their shoulders.

"Hey!" Shinpachi-san said in annoyance before grabbing both young men by the scruff of their shirts and began dragging them backwards to their posts. "Quit slackin' off and keep to yer post!" he scolded.

"It wouldn't hurt if we watch a little!" Ibuki-kun complained as his butt was dragged on the floor.

"Please, Shinpat-san!" Heisuke cried from the same position next to Ibuki-kun.

As they were both being dragged away by Shinpachi-san, a loud and heavy thud shook the dohyō as both sumo wrestlers hit the floor. Heisuke and Ibuki-kun both missed the end and the best part of the match, or so people would say. I didn't find sumo wrestling quite as interesting as all the other people clearly did, if I the oohs and ahhs were anything to go by. I wonder which wrestler won that bout. It looked to me that both of the wrestlers hit the floor at the same time since I wasn't paying much attention.

"My, that was a great bout!" a man cried, as if to taunt Heisuke and Ibuki-kun on what they missed while Shinpachi-san was dragging them.

"It was a match of a lifetime!" another man said.

"Man, I missed the best part!" Heisuke complained with disappointment. The comments from the crowds were like salt on an open wound to him

"Really?" I questioned. "All that happened was one guy flipped the other guy, but both ended up hitting the floor about the same time."

"What?! You saw it?!" Heisuke cried before grumbling, "That's so unfair! Of course the person who doesn't care what happens is the only one that gets to see what happens…"

"This has truly been a success, has it not?" Sannan-san said to both Otou-san and Hijikata-san off to the side as I tried and failed to cheer Heisuke up. "This should substantially add to the Roshigumi funds and make up for tailor fees Shizuka paid off."

"Yeah, but seeing everyone happy like this is what matters most." Otou-san answered Sannan-san with a giant, infectious smile.

"Ah! Another bout is about to start!" Heisuke exclaimed before running off to watch. "You're not going to stop me this time, Shinpat-san!"

"Hey! Get back here you shrimp!" Shinpachi-san yelled as he was about to go chase after Heisuke, Ibuki-kun ran in the opposite direction.

"I'm watching too!" Ibuki-kun suddenly exclaimed before he weaved his way through the crowd.

"H-Hey! Not you too!" Shinpachi-san complained.

"Just let them." I said to stop Shinpachi-san in his place. "Not like we're doing much anyways right now. The rest of the job comes after the sumo performance because we can only do clean-up after the event. Just let them have fun for now."

"You have a point there." Shinpachi-san said as he relaxed and turned to watch the sumo match himself.

The sumo performance lasted for one more hour before ending. After the event ended and the civilians cleared out, we were all tasked with helping with the clean-up. The sumo performance could not have been more successful. With this event, we managed to bring in some more funds while raising the civilians' opinion on the Roshigumi. The people who knew about what had happened between the sumo wrestlers and the Roshigumi in Osaka were all amazed by how the Roshigumi made this joint performance possible and as a result, the people became more welcoming to the Roshigumi. The sun was setting by the time we had finish wrapping up clean-up.

"So, that's a wrap?" Shinpachi-san said cheerfully while stretching out his limbs.

"We're heading back!" Hijikata-san announced. But before anyone of us even had a chance to take a step, Yamazaki-san appeared and ran towards Hijikata-san.

"Vice Commander, I wish to report something immediately." Yamazaki-san called out before whispering into Hijikata-san's ear.

In an instant, several emotions flashed on Hijikata-san's face. There was shock, anger, alarm, distress, and fear. Whatever Yamazaki-san said to Hijikata-san must have been a disaster the size of China.

"Hey, guys! We're going!" Hijikata-san yelled with a voice full of authority.

"What's the problem?" Souji asked, voicing the question we were all thinking.

"It seems Serizawa-san has done it again." Hijikata-san said, sounding defeated.

Done what again? With all the things Serizawa has done, it's kind of hard to tell what Hijikata-san had meant when he said that "Serizawa-san has done it again". Although, I seriously hope that man didn't set something on fire again because the fires were the hardest to clean up after, both physically and reputation wise for the Roshigumi.

When Hijikata-san took off running, we all quickly followed after him. After a few minutes of running in the direction Hijikata-san was leading us all in, I could hear the bell in the fire tower and I could see the red flames in the backdrop of the night sky. Shit. Of course it had to be a fire because, apparently, anything other than a fire wouldn't be magnificent enough for the ass called Serizawa. When we arrived at the scene, Serizawa was standing gleefully next to the shopkeeper that had crumbled to his knees as he watched his shop burn in the flames in disbelief.

I would have liked to say that it was thankfully only one shop that had been set ablaze, but that wasn't the case. The fire that was intended only to be for the Yamatoya, the name of the shop that was Serizawa's target, had actually spread to several of the nearby buildings. The Yamatoya itself was only beginning to burn, but it also had several holes, caused by cannon balls, in the walls as well. What had happened was that Serizawa had fired several shots with the cannon that clan Aizu had given to the Roshigumi at the shop before attempting to raze it to the ground. However, since the Yamatoya was an earthen and wooden structure, it did not burn so easily and the other nearby building caught on fire first.

"What in the…?!" Sano-san managed to say in shock before he fell silent again.

"Hmph!" Serizawa said when he noticed Hijikata-san before he fully turned around to face us. "Took you long enough. Were you having fun with that sumo demonstration or whatever?"

"Serizawa-san, was this your doing?" Hijikata-san asked angrily as he clenched his fists.

"The owner of the Yamatoya has made a fortune unjustly by trading with foreigners! Also, he has foolishly rejected to provide funds for the Roshigumi to protect the capital city! This is adequate evidence to say he's a middleman of the Sonnō Jōi ronin! Therefore Serizawa Kamo, the Commander of the Roshigumi, hereby bring him to justice!" Serizawa declared.

"Adequate evidence? You're just lashing out because he wouldn't lend you money." Hijikata-san snorted before calling to the rank-file-soldiers of the Roshigumi that were already here when we arrived. "Hey, put out the fire as soon as possible!"

"S-Sir!" one of the soldiers answered before approaching the flaming building with Hijikata-san.

"Wait!" Serizawa demanded. "What do you think you're doing?"

"There was no need to set the place ablaze if you lacked hard evidence!" Hijikata-san retaliated.

"Hijikata, are you implying that I, our highest-ranked officer as chief, would fabricate a story?" Serizawa said before having a short but intense stare down with Hijikata-san in silence.

"Search the inside of that warehouse! We may find some evidence." Hijikata-san said, changing his orders after a moment of silence.

No… I was hoping that I heard Hijikata-san wrong, but I didn't. Why was Hijikata-san bending to Serizawa's will? Even if the shopkeeper was guilty of what Serizawa said he was, the investigation shouldn't be conducted like this. They were already treating the man as if he was guilty without any hard proof yet. People should be treated innocent until proven guilty, not the other way around. The hard work everyone put into the sumo performance today was now going to go to waste and the Roshigumi was going to be seen by all the civilians as no different from the ronin. I had enough of Serizawa. I have to say something! There must be some way to fix what happened—

Souji's arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me back when he saw me walking towards Hijikata-san. I turned around only to see him shake his head at me. He was telling me not to interfere.

"I want you to go back to headquarters." Souji said to me in a hushed voice. "Things are going to get messy around here and I don't want you to get caught up in it."

"But—"

"No 'buts'. Besides," Souji said as he gesture to Ibuki-kun, "aren't you supposed to get him out of here tonight? Get Ibuki-kun out of Kyoto tonight and go to bed after you're done. I'm most likely going to have a later night than you and I don't want you losing sleep just because you waited for me to come back to headquarters, especially now. I've noticed how fatigue you've become recently along with those random spouts of dizziness."

I sighed in distress. Those symptoms were just caused by the amount of stress I had lately, but Souji was right about Ibuki-kun. Ibuki-kun had to leave tonight. If he stayed any longer then he would get caught up in more things and make it too late for him to leave. Plus, even though the distraction wasn't what I was hoping for, a fire acted better than a party and everyone would definitely be too focused on work to notice Ibuki-kun disappearing until it was too late.

"Okay…" I yielded to Souji's request.

"That's a good girl." Souji said as he pressed a kiss on the top of my head. As Souji began to approach the shop with the other guys on Hijikata-san's orders, he called out to Ibuki-kun. "Ibuki-kun, go with Shizuka back to the headquarters. I don't want her going back alone tonight."

"Wha—?" Ibuki-kun began to question what Souji said, but was silenced by a very threatening glare. "Fine!" Ibuki-kun snapped when he finally got his voice back.

"Let's go." I said seriously as I began to quickly pull Ibuki-kun towards headquarters. "We need to act quickly while everyone is still distracted by the fire."

"Wait! What do you mean?!" he asked as he, surprisingly, struggled to keep up with me.

"Did you forget? You're supposed to run away with Kosuzu-chan tonight."

"But I just can't leave everyone now while they're dealing with the fire. They need help!" Ibuki-kun cried. The guys need help from him? That's rich. Ibuki-kun couldn't even help himself most of the time.

I stopped pulling on Ibuki-kun in a deserted street and quickly spun around to face him with a cold expression. "Let me tell you the cold, harsh truth. This is the Roshigumi's business and despite how long you've been here and how much you know, you are not a part of the Roshigumi. You are only here because Serizawa picked you up after you were robbed and beaten by a bunch of ronin."

Ibuki-kun fell quiet at my words and I could even see some sadness in his eyes as he looked down at the ground. I softened my expression and tone as I continued to speak after a short pause.

"The hammer is going to fall on Serizawa soon and if you stay here then the hammer will crush you too. Take Kosuzu-chan out of Kyoto and build a life together. Both of you will be happy together and you will finally have something, or rather, someone to live for. This is for the best, okay?"

"Yeah… I understand…" Ibuki-kun answered quietly before his eyes hardened with resolve. "So I need to get Kosuzu out of Kyoto before everyone finishes up with the fire, right? Let's go."

I nodded in approval before I whistled and, almost immediately, Kenji-san dropped down from one of the roofs from one of the nearby buildings.

"So how long did you know I was there?" Kenji-san asked me.

"I didn't, but I figured you would want to stick close since Ibuki-kun did tell you beforehand that he was planning to run today." I answered. "Is everything good to go?"

"Yes." Kenji-san affirmed. "We'll smuggle both Ibuki and Kosuzu out of Kyoto on one of my family's trading ships. There's one that as already been searched and cataloged and has the okay to leave. That ship will be leaving in about thirty or so minutes. The ship will reach Osaka later tonight where one of my aunts will meet up with Ibuki and Kosuzu and escort them to the village in the Hira Mountains."

"I'll go with Ibuki-kun back to the Roshigumi headquarters to grab some things." I said.

"While I'll go extract Kosuzu from the okiya and we'll meet up at the harbor." Kenji-san finished before he vanished.

I rushed back to headquarters with Ibuki-kun and helped him quickly gather some supplies before we both left for the harbor. By the time we arrived at the harbor, Kyoko-chan was there waiting for us.

"What took you guys so long?" she asked. "Kenji is already here with Kosuzu-chan and I already had to distract a few guards patrolling the harbor."

"My bad." I said. "Let's just get those two on a ship and out of Kyoto."

We quickly rushed to the ship that Kenji-san had mentioned. Kosuzu-chan immediately jumped into Ibuki-kun's arms when she saw him and Ibuki-kun hugged her back fiercely.

"You'll both have time for that later." Kenji-san said impatiently. "The ship's getting ready to leave now, so hurry up and get on."

"Wait." Ibuki-kun said as he came to stand in front of Kenji-san, Kyoko-chan, and I. "I never got to thank you for everything you guys have done for Kosuzu and I. So, thank you very much!" Ibuki-kun said as he bowed deeply.

"While the 'thank you' is very nice and all, get on the damn boat before it leaves." Kenji-san snorted with annoyance. "You can write me a thank you note AFTER you get out of Kyoto."

"Fine, fine! I'm going!" Ibuki-kun complained as he stepped onto the boat just as it began moving. Cutting it close much?

"Bye Shizuka, Kyoko!" Kosuzu-chan called back as she waved at us. "Both of you are the best friends I could have ever dreamed for."

I waved back silently as Kyoko-chan called back enthusiastically. "Bye! And name your first kid after me! I don't care if it's a boy! Just name it after me!"

* * *

Souji was right about it being a late night for him and everyone else. No one had returned back to the Yagi house yet by the time I returned. Even though sneaking Ibuki-kun and Kyoko-chan out of Kyoto didn't actually take very long, it was still very late by the time I had returned back to headquarters. While Souji did tell me not to wait up for him and go to sleep when I was done with Ibuki-kun, I couldn't. I wanted to know if they did find evidence to support Serizawa's claims. So I sat on the futon and stayed awake while waiting for Souji to return. Souji opened the door to our room during the Hour of the Ox.

"Why are you still awake?" Souji scolded me tiredly as he came in our room. "I thought I told you not to wait up for me."

"I wanted to." I said as I took his swords from his hands and placed them on the sword stand at the head of the futon. Despite the initial scolding, he didn't push me away as I helped him undress and get ready for bed.

"Staying up this late can't possibly be healthy for you." Souji said as he pushed me towards the futon before he went to put out the lantern. "There's already a chance you could be getting sick. You already have fatigue and some dizziness. It'll be more difficult for you to get pregnant if you're sick."

"It's fine. I'm only up this late for tonight and I'm pretty sure I'm not sick. It's just stress causing those symptoms." I answered before I curled up against Souji's side when he got in the futon. "Did you find any evidence to support Serizawa's claims in that warehouse?"

"We found some. Hajime-kun is putting all the evidence we found together right now and will present it tomorrow morning." Souji sighed tiredly as he turned towards me to lie on his side. "What about things on your end? Successful?"

"Yeah, but Hijikata-san will be a bit mad when he realizes that someone who knows about the Water of Life has run away." No one in the Roshigumi but Souji and I actually knew about Ibuki-kun's plan to run away with Kosuzu-chan. Everyone was bound to be in for a shock tomorrow morning.

"It'll be fine." Souji mumbled sleepily before he closed his eyes. "He won't stay mad for long as long as you explain to him. Besides, it's not like we don't know where Ibuki-kun's going or that he's not going to be watched. "

"True enough." I said as Souji fell asleep.

* * *

[1] The yobidashi (呼出 or 呼び出し, announcer or beckoner) calls a professional sumo wrestler, or rikishi, to the dohyō (wrestling ring) immediately prior to his bout. He does this by calling the name of each wrestler fighting in turn whilst holding a traditional folding fan.

In keeping with their workman outfits, the yobidashi are actually the Japan Sumo Association's handymen, or odd-job men, and have a wide variety of tasks. These include on match days: sweeping the ring, providing purification salt, displaying banners showing that a match has been decided by default (usually due to a competitor's withdrawal), declared a draw, or subject to a rematch after the next two bouts, and ensuring that, during a bout, no wrestler injures himself on the bucket of chikara-mizu (power water) situated at one corner of the ring. They also can be seen displaying the advertising banners of companies who sponsor particular match-ups between popular wrestlers. They also are responsible for playing drums outside the arena (traditionally to attract customers) on match days. The yobidashi also build the clay wrestling ring (or dohyō) for tournaments and display competitions, and rings for the training stables. There is also a tradition of the yobidashi writing songs, called jinku, based on sumo life.

[2] The shaku (Japanese: 尺), or Japanese foot, is a Japanese unit of length derived (but varying) from the Chinese chi, originally based upon the length of the forearm (compare cubits). Traditionally, the length varied by location or use, but it is now standardized as 33/10 meters (30.3 centimeters or 11.9 inches). The measurement also forms the basis of the modern Taiwanese chi.


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

"To act on the belief that we possess the knowledge and the power which enable us to shape the processes of society entirely to our liking, knowledge which in fact we do not possess, is likely to make us do much harm." ― Friedrich Hayek

I quietly slipped out of the futon early in the morning as Souji remained blissfully unaware in his well-deserved sleep. It was earlier than I normally got out of bed, but I had some extra business to take care of and the extra time would be appreciated, especially if I was going to explain to Hijikata-san why Ibuki-kun was missing. Everyone, being tired and busy from the second Serizawa fire incident, didn't notice that Ibuki-kun was no longer here and I wanted to explain to Hijikata-san why before he flew into a panicked flurry and ordered a pointless search.

After dressing in my purple kimono for the day, I gave Souji one last peck on the forehead before yawning and quietly exiting the room and heading for the kitchen. I was going to brew a cup of hot tea for Saito-san, who pulled an all-nighter to put together the evidence, and for Hijikata-san, who also undoubtedly pulled an all-nighter. Plus, getting on Hijikata-san's good side before breaking the news to him that I helped Ibuki-kun run away last night without telling him would lessen the amount words he was going to have at me. I stopped by Saito-san's room first to drop off his cup of tea. He thanked me with a silent nod of his head as before quickly returning to compiling the evidence. I quickly left him in peace and headed towards Hijikata-san's room next.

"Hijikata-san," I called softly into Hijikata-san's room through closed doors from the outside, "can I come in?"

"Oh? You're already awake, Shizuka? The sun's not even up yet." Hijikata-san's weary voice filtered through the thin paper door. "Come in."

"You know, I don't think I know anyone who can wear a pair of bags under their eyes and still look as good as you." I said wryly as I stepped into his room. I placed his cup of tea on his desk first before I closed the door and sat down before him.

He looked incredibly worn out. His eyes were blood-shot and they had slight bags underneath them while his skin was slightly paler than normal. He carried a tired slump in his shoulders as he sat at his desk poring over his documents. Despite how tired he looked, Hijikata-san still looked remarkably well. He was an incredibly resilient person and I was surprised to see that he didn't develop any flu-like symptoms yet.

"You're going to run yourself into the ground if you continue like this." I quietly said as I reached over to place my hand on his forehead. There was no fever, but I still felt guilty. After I tell him about Ibuki-kun running away, Hijikata-san will be bound to feel more stressed. Stacking the sumo performance, the fire from Serizawa, and now, Ibuki-kun running away while knowing too much information, together was a lot to deal with.

"It can't be helped." he said as he brushed my hand away from his forehead before reaching for the cup of tea. "Someone has to deal with Serizawa's shit and Kondou-san is too important to deal with this mess."

Right… Hijikata-san liked to shield Otou-san from the nasty situations. I understood that Hijikata-san wanted to raise Otou-san up while protecting him from the harsh realities of the world, but I believed this was going to do more harm than good. Otou-san would remain ignorant and unprepared while Hijikata-san was going to stress himself out. Hijikata-san had good intentions, but the road to hell was paved with good intentions.

"What's with that look?" Hijikata-san said, snapping me out of my thoughts. What was he talking about? I wasn't even aware I was making a face at him.

"You always make that face when you're unhappy about something." Hijikata-san sighed when he saw confusion flash across my face. "So what is it?" Oh, so that was what he meant.

"You shouldn't be doing all this work by yourself. Otou-san is the commander of the Roshigumi, so some of this work should be his." I pointed out. "Just because you think that Otou-san shouldn't have to deal with any harsh realities doesn't mean that you should do all the work for him. If Otou-san lacks experience then he'll be woefully prepared in the future when you can no longer help him."

Hijikata-san looked at me after I said my piece of advice before wordlessly turning away to stare at the floor. I sighed at his defeated expression. I was getting off topic and should do what I came to do. This weird complex Hijikata-san had with Otou-san could be dealt with later and the Ibuki situation should be dealt with before a panic ensued.

"While this is an important problem you and Otou-san should work out, I came here for a different reason." I said.

Quickly shaking his head, as if to snap himself out of his thoughts, Hijikata-san brought his focus back on me, "What is it?" he asked tiredly. It seemed that he could sense another headache brewing.

"Ibuki-kun is gone." I said. Hijikata-san's eyes immediately sharpened as his fatigue instantly left his frame. "He ran away last night while everyone was busy dealing with the fire."

"Shit!" Hijikata-san said with dread. "He can't leave now. He knows too much about the Water of Life. We need to track h—"

"I know where he is." I said calmly as I grabbed his wrist to stop him from scrambling to his feet.

Hijikata-san narrowed his eyes angrily at me after I stopped him. Aside from my unusually calm expression regarding the situation, he seemed to put everything I said together in his head.

"You." he started with a dangerous, quiet rage before allowing it to evolve into a full blown yell. "You were involved in helping him run away. Are you even aware of what you've done!? The Bakufu charged us with secretly experimenting with the Water of Life and you, not only allowed, but help Ibuki run away while he knew too much! Your course of action just put us all at risk!"

I continued to look Hijikata-san in the eye unflinchingly. I did nothing wrong so I should have nothing to fear. Hijikata-san's anger burned a bit brighter when he saw a small confident smile form on my lips after his roar of anger.

"Did you really think I would allow Ibuki-kun to run without factoring in the Water of Life?" I asked, unintimidated by his anger.

"Explain." he demanded coldly. Maybe I should have found another way to break this information to him. This pointless anger added on to his stress was not good for him.

"I know you and all the others like Ibuki-kun and don't want him to be here when it comes time to deal with Serizawa." I said without indicating what dealing with Serizawa was. We both knew it meant when it came time to kill Serizawa. "So I had him run away with a maiko he had his eye on, but that does not mean that he's not going to be watched."

"Oh? And how is he going to be watched when he's out of our reach?" Hijikata-san asked angrily as he considered what I said.

"Right now, Ibuki-kun is being escorted to a village in the Hira Mountains by one of Kenji-san's aunts. That village use to be the headquarters of all Kenji-san's clan's operations, so everyone there is related to his clan one way or another. Everyone there was also involved in the trade that was used to obtain the Water of Life for the Bakufu and they don't want the knowledge of the Water of Life to spread any less than you. If Ibuki-kun lives in that village, there will be no one to spill the secret to, he will be watched, and he will be comfortably out of the way of the Roshigumi's business while being able to live happily."

Hijikata-san listened to my explanation quietly, his anger slowly disappearing as I explained everything. He let out an exasperated sigh and visibly slumped forward tiredly when I finished my explanation. I had covered all my corners.

"Why didn't you just tell me about your plan?" he finally asked me. He looked like a deflated balloon. I really should have found some other way to break the news to him. He was seriously going to develop a stomach ulcer if he continued at this rate.

"Think about all the other things you were dealing with at the same time." I pointed out before I let out a yawn. "Do you really think that you would have had time to take care of Ibuki-kun as well?"

"You still could have given me a heads up." Hijikata-san still insisted.

"And you'd do what if I had told you? Worry pointlessly about it?" I countered.

"Fine." he finally blew out. Hahaha, I win. "But you're telling the others about this new development."

"Of course, that's what I intended to—"I was interrupted by the door slamming open. Souji stalked into the room in his sleeping robe and collapsed behind me with his arms clasped around my waist. I fell over onto my front as Souji threw his full weight on me and laid on top of me.

"S-Souji! What are you doing?!" I asked in a surprised fluster. Why was he even awake? He was usually still asleep at this time. Hijikata-san said nothing but raised his eyebrow at me when Souji nuzzled the side of my face. Hijikata-san was clearly very amused at the situation I was in.

"Hijikata-san's stupid yelling woke me up earlier and you were already gone." Souji mumbled sleepily as he moved his face to the nape of my neck as he made himself comfortable. "Why are you already out of bed? It's too early and you should still be in bed with me. Besides, I know you're still tired."

"She was just telling me about what she did last night while the rest of us were busy dealing with that fire." Hijikata-san answered instead, making sure I knew that he was sending me a pointed look as I struggled under Souji's weight.

I always thought Souji's muscles were a great thing that added to his attractiveness, but right now? Not so much. Muscle was heavier than fat and Souji was lying on top of me right now. He was really heavy and I was rather petite. I tried to wiggle out from under him, but he just wrapped his arms around me tighter in response. I could feel his smile on the back of my neck, he was enjoying this.

"Hmm…" Souji responded to Hijikata-san as it looked like he was starting to doze off again.

Hijikata-san made another annoyed face at Souji's response as he realized why Souji didn't ask for more information. "You already knew what she did last night, don't you?"

"Hmm…" was the only thing Souji said.

"Shizuka just explained to my why she didn't tell me, but why didn't you tell me?" Hijikata-san asked with an annoyed glare.

"Hijikata-san is annoying and should keep his nose out of other people's business." Souji said smugly in response to the question while his face was still tucked into the nape of my neck. Souji was never tired enough not to mess with Hijikata-san.

"You—!" Hijikata-san fumed at Souji.

"Ah, Hijikata-san shouldn't yell so loudly because other people are still sleeping." Souji said gleefully. "Hijikata-san sure is inconsiderate of other people."

Oh, how Hijikata-san fumed after that retort! He glared at Souji, who still had his face pressed against the back of my neck, before grinning wickedly at me. He grabbed his cup of tea and stood up over an unaware Souji before pouring the remains of his warm tea onto the back of his nemesis's head. I genuinely never thought I would ever use the word "catfight" to describe a fight between men, but I was proven wrong this morning. Seriously, there was a lot of scratching and even some biting. At least there were no swords involved in this fight.

* * *

"We are here to report what we learned about yesterday's incident." Hijikata-san said in the main hall as he sat next to Sannan-san in front of everyone else. There was an angry, red, claw mark-like scratch on the corner of his chin, courtesy of the fight with Souji this morning. Souji wasn't any better off. Souji had his scratch on the upper portion of his left inner thigh… How? I don't even know.

Everyone, including Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san, was in the main hall except for Otou-san. I glared pointedly at Hijikata-san, which he chose to ignore. The stupid man was too stubborn and ignored what I had said to him earlier this morning. As one of the commanders, Otou-san should know everything that was going on and not remain blissfully ignorant of things. When Hijikata-san stopped speaking, Saito-san took this as the cue to start.

"It all started on July 23rd. A wealthy merchant was beheaded and had his head displayed at Sanjo Bridge. On the note next to the head, four other wealthy merchants were declared scoundrels by name because they had made a fortune by selfishly buying up all the silk, wax, and oil in the markets to sell to foreigners. Terrified by this warning, the four merchants listed struggled to save themselves. While the others spread word on how they were willing to give all their wealth in exchange for their lives, Yamatoya had an acquaintance that was a middleman of the Sonnō Jōi ronin and asked that acquaintance to entreat for his life, or so according to a rumor. Another rumor stated that Yamatoya also donated 10,000 ryō to the government, which became a great support to the Sonnō Jōi's military group, the Tenchugumi. Upon hearing this, Serizawa-san rushed to Yamatoya and requested that he sponsor the Roshigumi as well. Yamatoya turned down Serizawa-san several times, resulting in last night's events." Saito-san said all in one go.

Hijikata-san sighed as he rest his forehead on his hand. "To tell the truth, they're both to blame. That Yamatoya… He thought he was safe once he kept in good terms with the Sonnō Jōi. How ignorant of him, not expecting Serizawa would go as far to as fire a cannon at him."

"He was frightened by the Tenchu[1] warning and sponsored the Sonnō Jōi group. This part is solid fact." Sannan-san pointed out.

"Even so, my head hurts when thinking about what to do next." Hijikata-san said as he sighed again. Both Sannan-san and Hijikata-san fell silent afterwards while looking displeased.

"No matter how many reasons there were behind the scene, the only thing that will remain in the civilians' memories is this simple fact, 'the Commander of the Mibu Roshigumi set a merchant's house on fire'." Saito-san spoke up in the silence. "Our success in the sumo wrestling performance had brought income that eased our financial crisis. However, the commotion in Yamatoya had once again deteriorated our reputation. As long as Commander Serizawa remains in his position, isn't history going to repeat itself?"

Everyone's eyes widened slightly at Saito-san's forceful tone. Saito-san was speaking with a stronger than normal tone. What happened last night must have not sat well with him at all.

"For you to voice your opinion to this extent, you must be boiled with rage." Hijikata-san said with a bitter smile.

"My apologies. Forgive my impertinence." Saito-san said with a polite bow. "I spoke out of line."

"Hajime-kun is right." Souji said with a despondent sigh as his eyes drifted off to the side. "That man really is a nuisance."

"Ryunosuke picked a really good time to escape from Serizawa's service." Heisuke added thoughtfully to Souji's statement. "Who knows what would have happened to him if he stayed with Serizawa?"

Everyone else in the room made sounds of agreement with what Souji and Heisuke said before Hijikata-san spoke again.

"At any rate," Hijikata-san said loudly to gain everyone's attention again, "we'll have to rake up the merits, no matter how small."

Sannan-san dismissed everyone shortly after.

"Hijikata-san…" Sano-san said as we all stood up after being dismissed. It looked like he was wondering if he should or shouldn't ask a question.

"What is it?" asked Hijikata-san.

"What happened to your face?" Sano-san asked while gesturing to the spot on his own chin where the scratch would have been if it was on himself instead of Hijikata-san. "That scratch wasn't there last night. It looks like you were attacked by a cat…" Everyone turned to Hijikata-san for an answer to Sano-san's question. So they were all curious, but just didn't voice it.

Both Souji and Hijikata-san turned to look at each other at Sano-san's question. As soon as their eyes met, they quickly turned to face the opposite directions with a huff. I answered Sano-san instead.

"Catfight." was all I had to say while pointing at Souji and Hijikata-san for everyone to understand. I let out a tired yawn afterwards.

"Isn't the word 'catfight' used to describe a fight between women…?" Shinpachi-san voiced skeptically while looking back and forth between the two men in question.

"It was a catfight." I said again. I actually thought that it was pretty surprising that no one woke up to the sound and came to investigate what was happening. I guess everyone was too worn out from yesterday's events. "There was a large amount of yelling, hair pulling, biting, and scratching… There was definitely a lot of scratching. In fact, I'm sure that if I wasn't there to stop it then I would be cleaning up a corpse right now that looked like an abused scratching post—"

I was quickly silenced as Souji looped an arm around my face and placed his hand on my mouth. He then quickly walked out the room while dragging me along backwards in that same position.

"There's no need to tell them everything." Souji said quietly as he dragged me along with a slight blush on his cheeks.

He was embarrassed? Well, I could see why. Being in a fight that was described as a catfight was definitely not considered manly. I guess he was still more sensitive to these things than I originally thought.

* * *

Otou-san and Hijikata-san had left a bit earlier today to go to a meeting called by the Kyoto Military Commissioner. I was willing to bet that some part of the meeting was about Serizawa's outrageous behavior from a few days back. It had been two days since the fire and it still felt like everyone was still suffering from a black eye.

I swept the ground on the compound near the front gate while I waited for Otou-san and Hijikata-san to return, only pausing my chore for a short minute as a small bout of dizziness passed before I resumed. I had chosen to sweep this spot because I wanted to know what they discussed right away and the front gate was the perfect spot to hang around if I wanted to know immediately when they got back. Speaking of sweeping the floor, after Ibuki-kun left, all the household chores fell to me once again. I had forgotten how much work and time it took to maintain the whole Roshigumi headquarters by myself. Without Ibuki-kun around to help me with the household chores, between the chores, the medical research, and teaching Yamazaki-san medical procedures, I rarely had time for myself. In the past two days, they only time I got to leave the headquarters was to go buy groceries. Most of the other guys had tried to help lighten the work load for me, but I shooed them away immediately. They had bigger problems to deal with. Compared with the housework, doing damage control on Serizawa's most recent blunder was more important and more difficult in my eyes.

"I'll talk to him and see if I can convince him." I heard Otou-san's voice from a distance, snapping me out of my own thoughts and causing me to look up from sweeping the floor.

Otou-san and Hijikata-san were both walking down the road and back towards the headquarters while in a deep conversation. The Military Commissioner must have said something important for both of them to be in such a deep discussion on the way back. Both men were dressed formally for their meeting they just attended. I quickly finished up sweeping my area before running up to greet the two men.

"How did the meeting go?" I asked, maybe with a bit too much enthusiasm.

"The Kyoto Military Commissioner holds the Roshigumi in high regard, but he also says that Serizawa needs to be dealt with before he sullies the Aizu name." Otou-san said while ruffling my hair happily, despite still being deep in thought.

My eyes sharpened when I heard Otou-san saying that Serizawa had to be dealt with. This was what Kyoko-chan and I were working towards and now we finally have our result. It was time to remove Serizawa permanently. Hijikata-san did not say anything, but he must have noticed the change in my disposition because he focused his gaze on me and gave me a look that said, "Do not say anything."

"So, what are you planning to do?" I asked Otou-san while pushing his hand out of my hair.

"I will talk to Serizawa-san and see if I can get him to step down from his position." Otou-san said firmly with a nod added as an afterthought.

That was not what I was hoping for. I loved Otou-san for his loving and gentle personality, but it was something I preferred he didn't have regarding Serizawa. Otou-san disliked confrontations and liked to solve things peacefully. However, there are just some things that cannot be solved peacefully, like with Serizawa. Serizawa was the type of man that would not let go of a position of power until his dying breath. There was no way Otou-san could convince Serizawa to step down peacefully or without being brushed off.

"That's not what the Commissioner meant by dealing with Serizawa." I said humorlessly, ignoring the warning glance Hijikata-san sent me. I loved Otou-san and all, but he needed a rude wake-up call. There were just some things that could not be avoided. What the Military Commissioner meant was assassination. After all, the dead can no longer actively sully a good reputation.

"Oh?" Otou-san said curiously.

"Shizuka! That's enough!" Hijikata-san snapped at me before I could reply to Otou-san and sent me a knowing look. Hijikata-san still didn't want Otou-san dirtying his hands. "This is none of your business. What do you know about politics? Keep your focus on what you do know and out of things that don't concern you!"

"Eh?" Otou-san said confusedly as he looked back and forth between me and Hijikata-san. He had missed the short wordless exchange Hijikata-san and I had briefly before. "If Shizu-chan has a suggestion, then I would love to hear it, Toshi."

"She has nothing important to say, right?" Hijikata-san said as he gave me a hard look, as if he was daring me to speak against him.

I sighed and shook my head. I was going to let it slide this time because I didn't want to get into a fight with Hijikata-san in front of Otou-san, but that did not mean I was not going to have another talk with Hijikata-san later. Otou-san spared me another confused glance before Hijikata-san quickly ushered him inside.

"Hijikata-san." I called as soon as Otou-san was out of earshot and in the house. Hijikata-san paused in the doorway but did not turn around to face me. "We need to speak later."

"I know you're smart Shizuka, but I don't want you meddling in this situation anymore." Hijikata-san said without looking at me. "You'll be hit with backlash if you make a mistake and Souji might not be able to protect you again, like he did before when he married you."

"I'm not meddling with anything anymore." I didn't need to anymore. All I had to do was watch things play out from now on. "I just need to tell you a piece of advice. I know you admire Otou-san and want to push him to the top while protecting him, but you'll be doing more harm than good. Don't protect Otou-san anymore. He needs to know what to expect when he's at the top. It's always colder at the top of a mountain and if he is not adequately prepared then the harsh winds of the mountain top will destroy him."

"Kondou-san will be fine. I will guard him from those winds." Hijikata-san said seriously. "I have made my resolve."

"Then what will you do when you can no longer protect him?"

"That will never happen." he said before entering the house after Otou-san and leaving me outside alone.

* * *

[1] Tenchu (天誅) in Japanese literally translates in English as: "Divine Retribution", with 天 (ten), meaning heaven and 誅 (chu), meaning death penalty.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

"Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you." ― Pericles

It was unusually silent this morning. Yes, it was still rather early in the day and I was most likely the only one actually awake right now at headquarters, but this could not be the reason why it was so eerily silent. Having no humans awake in headquarters could not possibly account for no birds singing or for no crickets chirping. It was the ominous feeling of the quiet still people felt before a large storm. It was unsettling.

I put down the knife I was using to cut the shiitake mushrooms to glance out the kitchen window for a short while. Did something important happen on August 18, 1863? I didn't know. Despite knowing a few interesting random facts about the Tokugawa era, I actually didn't know that much. I specialized in medicine, not Japanese history. I quickly picked the knife up again and resumed my task. Nothing could be accomplished by worrying needlessly. I wasn't even sure about what I was worrying about. All I had was a gut feeling about a situation not feeling right.

"Do you feel that too?" Kyoko-chan's quiet voice came from behind me.

"Morning." I responded calmly as I scooped up the slices of mushroom and placed them in the boiling water. "You shouldn't randomly pop up behind me while I'm cooking, I do have a knife within arm's reach."

"You should be use to me randomly appearing by now, so it's not like I'd accidently scare you into throwing a knife at me." Kyoko-chan reasoned. Sure, I was use to her habit of appearing randomly now, but it was the concept of safety that mattered.

"Still, think about it from my point of view, safety reasons and all." I said as I placed the clams into the boiling water next. I placed the lid back onto the pot. As soon as the clams opened up, I could put in the miso.

"Yes, Mama Bear." Kyoko-chan said jokingly before her smile slipped off her face. "Back to my original question: Do you feel that too?"

"You mean the twinge in my stomach and the strange eerie silence this morning? Yeah, I feel it." I said almost inaudibly as Kyoko-chan passed me the container containing the miso. I scooped out a spoonful of miso and dissolved it into the boiling water. The soup for breakfast was almost done, I just needed to add the chopped scallions.

"I wonder what's going to happen." Kyoko-chan mumbled while looking a bit queasy. "Do you think this oppressive atmosphere might have something to do with what has been happening between the Sonnō Jōi movement and the Imperial Court?"

The Sonnō Jōi movement and the Imperial Court? Honestly, the politics of this country never really interested me, so I never really followed what was happening in the Imperial Court. However, I should seriously now consider paying more attention to the political climate of Kyoto. Otou-san was now going to be entering the political field as the leader of the Roshigumi and if I wanted to help then I needed to know what was occurring. While I did not really know much about the politics in Kyoto, I was not completely ignorant. I did know about the Sonnō Jōi movement and how they've been gaining momentum. Most of the ronin the Roshigumi have been dealing with lately have been the extremists of the Sonnō Jōi movement.

The people that were in support of the Sonnō Jōi movement believed that the shogunate had grown too weak to expel the foreigners, due the recent actions the shogunate had been taking recently, and that the Emperor should be the one to expel the foreigners. The extremists of the Sonnō Jōi, or the loyalists, were dangerous because of how far they would go to expel foreign influence. The series of events that led to the incident with Yamatoya from a few days ago was just one of many examples of the loyalists work. People found associating and benefiting from foreigners were the targets of these loyalists and the phrase "vengeance of Heaven", or Tenchu, was used by the loyalist to justify the violence. But it did not matter what these loyalists called their acts, their acts were just straight out terrorism in my eyes. They tried to control people through fear and when they couldn't, they would eliminate the resistance through killing. The Sonnō Jōi extremists were one of the many reasons why Kyoto was so dangerous these days.

"I haven't really been keeping up with the politics." I admitted. "So, you're going to have to clarify."

"Really? But you always seem to be on top of everything all the time." Kyoko-chan voiced her surprise.

"That's because I've been busy with other things. I'm also pretty sure I'm pregnant." I explained. The fatigue, dizziness, mood swings from these past few weeks and now, the extra late period, all pointed towards pregnancy.

"Pregnant?!" she exclaimed as her eyes bugged out of her head. "Did you tell Souji-san yet?"

"No, not yet. I don't even know how I'm going to break the news to him." I said with a shrug. "Either way, I can worry about that later. Now about politics…?"

"Oh!" she said before reining her surprise back in order to give me a quick crash course on the subject. "As you know the Sonnō Jōi movement has been growing more extreme, especially in the past few months. During these few months, Imperial troops have been formed and increasingly acerbic notes to the Bakufu have been sent. Finally, after some time, the loyalist began to demand that the Emperor himself should lead the troops of the various domains to expel the foreigners because the Bakufu was reluctant to act. On July 11th of this year, Masuda Danjo, one of the most influential elders of the Choshu Elders, officially requested the Emperor lead the military against the foreigners. Of course, the Court didn't act right away and replied that to Masuda it would take some time for the Court to decide on such an important decision. In response, Masuda said the Choshu were already following the orders to expel the foreigners and the people would suffer if the Emperor did not take the lead. The following day after the meeting with Masuda, the Court asked the daimyo of Inaba, Bizen, Awa, and Yonezawa for their opinions on the matter. The daimyo replied that the prestige of the Court would suffer if it acted on the ideas of a few loyalists and it should first take a sample of a wider range of opinions before it decided. Taking the advice of the daimyo, the Court acted in moderation. But of course, the loyalist were displeased with the decision and responded with acts of violence while proclaiming that these acts were the 'vengeance of Heaven'. Finally, five days ago, on the 13th, an Imperial edict was issued that sanctioned a campaign by the Emperor against the foreigners. There were a lot of domains that were unhappy with this edict[1] and I'm willing to bet you that this uneasy feeling we're getting is coming from political upheaval that will occur, without a doubt."

I nodded as I digested all the information while adding the scallions to the soup before removing the pot from the fire. So that was what had been going on. The situation in the Imperial Court was volatile and a power shift seemed likely.

"Do you think the ominous feeling we've been feeling this morning means that there's already trouble brewing?" I asked as I began cooking the sardines I had cleaned before Kyoko-chan arrived. "Oh, can you check on the rice? It should be done."

"Are you sure you want me touching the food?" she asked. "You know I'm terrible at cooking."

"It's fine. All I need you to do is toss the rice."

She nodded before resuming the topic from before. "There has to be trouble stirring right now." Kyoko-chan said as she used a towel to cover her hand before lifting the wooden lid on the pot to check on the rice. She tossed the rice in the pot before removing the pot from the stove. "It's too quiet this morning. Even the birds are quiet. Animals always did sense trouble better than humans. Something is going to happen today."

We fell silent afterwards as Kyoko-chan helped me wash the bamboo shoots while I took care of the sardines. Would there be war between the domains over the edict? Would Aizu use the Roshigumi if war did break out? War was never pretty and I did not want to be caught in the middle of some war over some political ideas I did not have much exposure to until today. There wasn't much to say as Kyoko-chan and I mulled over what we just discussed, but the silence felt stifling. I finally broke the silence when I felt it choking me.

"Do you think there'll be war?" I asked meekly as I gripped my chopsticks tightly.

"… I don't know." Kyoko-chan mumbled without looking up at me and we fell back into an uneasy silence.

BOOM

The sound of a loud explosion followed by the rattle of our dishware cut through the quiet of the early morning, causing both Kyoko-chan and I to flinch at the sound.

"Was that…?" Kyoko-chan exclaimed wide-eyed in alarm.

"Cannon fire." I answered while narrowing my eyes. Who fired that shot and at whom? The Roshigumi was probably going to get involved. While it was not my job to obtain information, I didn't want the men going into the situation blind. I quickly extinguished the fire in the stove and grabbed Kyoko-chan before I started pulling her towards the main gate of headquarters. I swiped my naginata off the wall and took it with me as we left the compound. "Come on! You need to get back home and I'm going to go investigate the situation."

"But you're pregnant!" Kyoko-chan exclaimed, but she quickly followed me without resistance anyways.

Everyone at headquarters must have heard the shot. Knowing Hijikata-san, he would gather everyone in the main hall while sending the Inspectors to go investigate the situation before deciding whether to act on the situation or not.

The streets of Kyoto were empty as I sprinted with Kyoko-chan back to her house. The sound of the cannon must have scared every civilian that was awake back into their homes. I heard a total of two more cannon shots before Kyoko-chan and I arrived at her house. As soon as we stepped inside, we were both enveloped in a tight, warm hug.

"Okaa-san!" Kyoko-chan complained as she tried to escape the tight embrace.

"I was so scared." Kumiko-san, Kyoko-chan's mother cried as she hugged us even tighter. "When I heard the cannon, I went to check on you and your otou-san only to find out that you snuck out of the house again."

"I'm fine, Okaa-san." Kyoko-chan said as she finally freed herself from her mother's embrace while I remained stuck in the embrace. "I was with Shizuka-chan. You know she wouldn't let anything bad happen to me. Where's Kohaku?"

Kumiko-san, still strung up from not being able to find Kyoko-chan when the cannon fire was heard, was unable to answer as she hugged whatever was in her arms tighter for comfort. Unfortunately, that something was me. I should have wiggled out of her grasp when I had the chance, like Kyoko-chan.

"He's still asleep. That boy can sleep through anything." Kyoko-chan's father answered instead before he approached to pry Kumiko-san's hands off of me. "You should let go of Shizuka-chan, dear. She looks like she's turning purple." he said gently to his wife.

Hearing what her husband said, Kumiko-san quickly dropped me like I was made of hot coal. Being the short person I am, Kumiko-san actually picked me up when she grabbed in that hug with Kyoko-chan. The moment she released me from the hug, I fell on my butt due to my feet being unable to reach the ground.

"Oh my goodness!" Kumiko-san cried as she grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet again before dusting me off. "I am so sorry! It's just with everything that has happened in just a short amount of time!"

"Oh no, it's okay." I said as I brushed the wrinkles out of my hakama and picked my naginata off the floor. When I finally looked up after picking up my weapon, I saw Kyoko-chan's father frowning at me in disapproval. Did I do something to upset him…?

"While I appreciate you bringing Kyoko home, you shouldn't have escorted Kyoko back by yourself. You heard the artillery roar. You knew it was dangerous to go outside without more people. I'm also fairly sure you left the Roshigumi headquarters without getting the approval of your otou-san or husband. They're probably worrying about you right now." he lectured me as I listened contritely.

"I'm sorry, Wakahisa-san." I apologized for the sake of feeling less guilty.

But Wakahisa-san had a point. Otou-san and Souji always hated it when I purposely ran towards danger instead of away from it, like a normal person with logic would. They probably already knew I was no longer at headquarters by now and the only reason Souji wasn't out looking for me was because Otou-san needed all the men to be on standby in case the Roshigumi was called into action. If Otou-san didn't need all the men on standby, I'm willing to bet that Otou-san would have ordered a group of men and Souji to go find me. Right now, they were both just hoping that I had enough sense to stay out of trouble and if I did run into trouble… Well, that was what my naginata was for.

Wakahisa-san sighed before patting me on the head with a small, friendly smile. "Why don't you stay here until we're sure it's safe to go back home? Or if you want to go home now, I can signal Kenji or one of his relatives to escort you back."

"Oh! I'm not going home. I just came here to drop Kyoko-chan off before going to investigate where the cannon fire came from." I said quickly before making a quick dash for the front door in hopes that no one would stop me. I probably should have lied if I wanted to be able to leave, but the way that Wakahisa-san looked at people while they spoke… He was just one of those people who was impossible to lie to.

"Wait right there!" Kumiko-san said sternly as she grabbed my arm right as I was at the door. "We're not letting you go anywhere close to where the danger is! What would we say to your otou-san if something happened to you?"

I suddenly felt like a teenager trying to sneak out the house to go to a party. Granted the situation was different and this was a lot more important than the silly teenage situation, it felt the same none the less.

"Kumiko-san, I need to go. The Roshigumi is most likely going to get involved and if I can get some information to them about the situation, the less likely they will be going in blind." I tried to reason.

"No, it's too dangerous! Your husband and otou-san wouldn't want you going anywhere near the situation. You could get hurt! It's the Roshigumi's job, not yours." Kumiko-san argued back.

"My chichi and husband are in the Roshigumi. It's true that they don't want me in any situation where I could get hurt, but that goes both ways. I don't want them to get hurt either and if I can go gather relevant information on the situation they're about to walk into then it will be less likely they will be hurt. I want to help."

"The Roshigumi has capable men in it. Your otou-san should be able to send men in to investigate the situation. He shouldn't need to have his daughter enter dangerous territory." Kumiko-san argued back. Well, what she said was true, but it didn't stop me from wanting to help.

"Kumiko-san, please let go."

"No!"

"Umm… Okaa-san?" Kyoko-chan cut in. "Maybe you should let Shizuka-chan go. She always knows what she's doing. I'm sure she'll be care—"

"No!" Kumiko-san said again as she tightened her grip on me.

"Kumiko-san, I—" I said before a new voice cut into the argument.

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks." Kenji-san's voice came from the side causing everyone to look towards the source of the voice. Kenji-san was leaning against the wall on the far side of the room, near the hallway. Kohaku-kun, Kyoko-chan's younger brother was jumping around near Kenji-san.

"Okaa-san! Otou-san! Look who came in through my window! Isn't he just the coolest?" Kohaku-kun exclaimed while bouncing around excitedly. "You have to teach me how to do that!"

Wakahisa-san suddenly looked fatigued and facepalmed. "All I ever wanted was to have a quiet morning for once and to have kids that actually listen to me." he muttered under his breath before trudging out of the room and into another part of the house. "But nooo, don't listen to the man that clearly has more experience in life…"

"Uh oh, Otou-san's moody again." Kohaku-kun sang without looking guilty before turning towards Kenji-san to pester him again. "So are you going to teach me how to do that? Are you? Are you?"

Kenji-san laughed good-naturedly as he ruffled Kohaku-kun's hair. "Whoa there, sport. Calm down before you start bouncing off the walls. Sure, I'll teach you one day if you can manage to sneak up on me."

"Aww! Unfair! You know I can't!" Kohaku-kun protested.

Kenji-san winked at Kohaku-kun before addressing Kumiko-san, "Why don't you go check up on Oji-san, Oba-san? I'll take care of Shizuka-san from here."

Kumiko-san sighed and gave me a look that clearly said that our conversation wasn't over yet before grabbing Kyoko-chan and Kohaku-kun by their ears and pulling them with her.

"OW! Okaa-san!" the two siblings complained as they were dragged from the room.

"Well then, I guess I should be getting you home now." Kenji-san said with a big grin as he grabbed my arm when I tried to sneak out again.

I groaned. While it was difficult to escape from Kyoko-chan's parent's grasps, it was downright impossible to escape from Kenji-san. Even if I did manage to sneak away from him, he would find me again within a few minutes.

"But I get the feeling that you'll be difficult." he said as he saw my eyes dart around, looking for an escape route. "So we'll trade. You let me take you home without running or complaining and I'll tell you the information you want to know. I did just come from the Imperial Palace, where the artillery fire originated."

"You did?" I perked up. "But why were you at the Palace?"

"I was watching the situation down there unfold. Things were tense at the Imperial Court for the past couple of days and I was curious to how things would turn out. Plus, the Emperor ordered some fine china from one of my cousins, so just happened to be down there this morning making a well-timed delivery." he said as he ushered me out of the Wakahisa house and towards the Roshigumi headquarters.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on down at the Imperial Palace?" I asked while looking at him expectantly.

"Sure, sure." Kenji-san nodded. "As you know, there are some domains that are unhappy with the radicalism that the Choshu loyalists have been acting out on. The unhappy domains weren't going to sit around and do nothing about the growing Choshu radicalism. Two days ago, the Kōbu Gattai[2] nobles of the Aizu and Satsuma Domains announced their plan of retaliation to the Emperor regarding the Imperial edict that was sanctioned on the day before that."

"Wait, the Aizu and Satsuma Domains?" I asked. "I thought they didn't like each other."

"They don't." explained Kenji. "This is just an alliance of convenience. Satsuma has not only been concerned about the growing danger threatening this country, but with its own declining prestige. The Satsuma's enmity towards the Choshu increased when the samurai from Satsuma were forbidden to enter the Court in May 29th of this year. Not to mention, the Satsuma were also deprived of their station at one of the nine gates of the Imperial Palace. As for the Aizu domain, they have always been a staunch supporter of the Bakufu. Because these two domains have a mutual dislike for the Choshu, the two domains had decided to work together.[3]"

"So it just a case of: the enemy of my enemy is my friend?" I said as we turned a corner on the street. The streets were still void of any civilians.

"Yup. Now back to what I was saying before. When the Imperial edict was issued on the 13th of this month, the Satsuma and Aizu retaliated by teaming up in order to carry out a coup d'état at Court. This coup d'état was put into motion this morning. While the coup d'état only just occurred this morning, these two domains actually had this all planned out on by the 16th. On the 16th, the Emperor was approached by the Kōbu Gattai nobles of Aizu and Satsuma, and while hesitating, the Emperor gave their coup d'état project his approval." Kenji-san explained before taking a big breath before continuing. "Now for the events that occurred this morning: earlier at dawn, the Satsuma and Aizu troops secured the nine gates at the Palace and refused to admit anyone into the Palace without an official summon. The Kōbu Gattai nobles were then called into an Imperial conference before Imperial edicts were then subsequently sent to other daimyo calling for troops to strengthen the defenses at the Imperial Palace. With these series of actions, the Satsuma and Aizu have successfully taken control from the Choshu.[4]"

"You make it sound as if the coup was a complete success. If the coup was a success, why was there cannon fire? Doesn't fighting usually only occur when a coup doesn't succeed smoothly?" I questioned.

"I'm not done explaining." Kenji-san gave me a peeved look when I interrupted him. "There hasn't been any fighting yet. What you heard were warning shots. When news of the coup reached the Choshu residence of Kyoto, the Choshu forces were taken completely by surprise. Two men were then ordered by the Choshu to look into the matter and the two men returned to the Choshu to report that even the gate entrusted to the Choshu to guard was now held by Satsuma troops. Four hundred Choshu troops along with one thousand 'Imperial troops', formed by loyalist ronin a few months back, are now assembled opposite of Sakaimachi Gate. After the warning shots, that you heard, were fired by the Satsuma, an edict was sent to the Choshu forces to warn them not to resort to violence. Right now, there is a stalemate at Sakaimachi Gate.[5]"

After Kenji-san finished telling what was going on at the Palace gates, he stopped walking, causing me to bump into his back. When I gave him a questioning glance, he rubbed the back of his head before grinning at me again and patting my head. Why does everyone like patting my head? Is it because I'm so short?

"Sorry, but it looks like I won't be walking you all the way back home. There are some things I need to look into right now, but if you wait here, Yamazaki and Shimada will be turning the corner in about thirty seconds." Kenji-san said before taking off and disappearing from sight. True to his word, a few seconds later, Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san turned the corner.

Yamazaki-san stopped running and immediately froze when he saw me and unfortunately for Shimada-san, Yamazaki-san stopped right in front of him when he wasn't prepared to stop. Shimada-san bowled right into Yamazaki-san and because he was far larger than Yamazaki-san, Shimada-san knock over Yamazaki-san before tripping over him. Both men landed in a large tangled heaped a few feet in front of me.

"You know, I always thought the Inspectors were supposed to be more agile and less clumsy." I said wryly with a quirked eyebrow as I reached down to help both men up.

"SENSEI! What are you doing here, Sensei!?" Yamazaki-san finally yelled when he could move again. "Okita-san and the Commander were in a panic when they couldn't find you after hearing the cannon fire!"

"I was with Kyoko-chan at her house when the cannon went off" I said, twisting the truth a bit. Maybe I can avoid getting in trouble. "Kyoko-chan's parents wouldn't let me leave when they heard the cannons because they were afraid that I might get hurt. So I had to wait for Kenji-san to arrive to take me back, although he just left a few seconds back because he had something he had to see to. He told me to wait here because you and Shimada-san were going to turn the corner in a matter of seconds, and here you are."

Yamazaki-san looked like he wanted to say something more, but Shimada-san spoke first, "We can talk more later, but right now, the Vice Commander is waiting for our report. Come with us, Okita-sensei." Shimada-san said before taking the lead back to headquarters.

We arrived back at the headquarters without any more interruptions. As soon as we arrived, we headed to the main hall where everyone was gathered. Otou-san's eyes grew wide when he saw me before he scolded me with an angry tone.

"Where have you been?!" Otou-san said sternly and harshly. Oh no, please tell me that Otou-san wasn't going to scold me in front of all his men.

"Kondou-san," Souji cut in, "now is not the time."

"Ah, right." Otou-san said before looking to Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san.

I shot Souji a grateful look, but he returned my look with a hard, unimpressed look. He was mad at me too. I hated it when Souji was mad or disappointed with me. I deflated visibly and dragged my feet as I went to go sit next to Souji when he patted a small empty spot next to him while the Inspectors reported to Otou-san and Hijikata-san what they had observed at the Palace gates.

"We'll talk later." Souji whispered unhappily into my ear with narrowed eyes before focusing up front again.

"What?!" Hijikata-san cried in surprise when he heard what the Inspector had to say about the situation. "Aizu and Satsuma are guarding the Sakaimachi Gate?"

"What?!" everyone else, but Serizawa and Niimi, said at Hijikata-san's outburst earlier.

"I believe the Choshu originally guarded that post." Sannan-san said.

"Right." Shimada-san confirmed. "The Choshu Domain is looking for a chance to enter the Palace, but Aizu and Satsuma are staring them down, intent not to let them step foot inside."

"The situation is volatile." Yamazaki-san added. "Battle could break out at any moment."

"Battle, huh?" Sano-san said with a pondering expression.

"But why are the feuding Aizu and Satsuma Domains teaming up?" Hijikata-san asked with crossed arms.

"It's beyond me." Otou-san said after thinking on it for a bit.

"Hmph!" Serizawa made a mocking sound causing both Otou-san and Hijikata-san to turn towards the man. "It merely means that the world is not as simple as you simple-minded louts."

"What was that?!" Hijikata-san growled at Serizawa.

"Umm…" I spoke up quietly, still a bit cowed from Otou-san's and Souji's anger towards me earlier. "Aizu and Satsuma are only working together because there are more benefits to working together towards the Choshu than there are working separately. Both have come to despise the Choshu because of the amount of power they had been gaining lately in the Imperial Court. Satsuma are against the Choshu because they have been losing prestige while the Choshu had been gaining prestige. Aizu has always been a supporter of the Bakufu, which the Choshu think little of. Both Aizu and Satsuma will benefit if they work together to remove the Choshu from the Court and clashing ideals will matter little if the reward is great. This is a case of: the enemy of my enemy is my friend."

"Oh? So it's the woman that knows more about politics than the men?" Serizawa said mockingly to Hijikata-san while I shrunk back. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. I wasn't feeling up to dealing with Serizawa today anymore.

"Tsk!" Hijikata-san responded to Serizawa. "I don't care about what's in the minds of opportunist who change their attitudes based on the situation."

"So? What do we do?" Shinpachi-san questioned.

Otou-san closed his eyes before answering, "We cannot move the squad without orders from Aizu."

"So we have to wait?" Hijikata-san said before the room fell silent.

"We're leaving!" Serizawa finally decided, breaking the silence. "We'll merely lose the chance to earn distinction if we sit around!"

Serizawa stood up and looked at Otou-san, silently asking, "Are you coming or not?"

Otou-san responded by nodding in agreement and standing up himself. Everyone else followed in suit. Souji took my hand and pulled me up after he stood up. Just as everyone got to their feet, a messenger on a horse rode into the compound and brought his horse to an abrupt stop right in front of the open doors of the main hall.

"I bring orders!" the man on the horse cried loudly with authority. "The Roshigumi are to hurry to the Imperial Palace! Guard the gates!"

At the order, all the men grinned at each other and the three leaders from Shieikan nodded to each other with great gusto.

"Our lord has given the order!" Otou-san said to the men with excited charisma. "The Mibu Roshigumi are to mobilize! We shall be the ones to protect the Emperor!"

"Yeah!" everyone agreed as they prepared to mobilize.

"Shizuka," Souji called me, causing me to pause as I rushed out to go grab my medical kit, "you're not going."

"What?" I exclaimed in surprise. "If everyone is marching off to a potential battlefield then shouldn't it make sense that you have at least one medic in case anyone gets injured?"

"We do. Yamazaki-kun's going and you're not." Souji said, making no room for argument.

"But—"

"No. I don't care if you say that you're still the better medic. You're staying here. If you want to go then, next time, think before rushing into danger." Souji said, referring to me running out of headquarters when I heard cannons this morning.

"Souji—"

"No. I'm not going to argue with you on this." Souji said as he looked at me with unmoving ferocity.

"I— …understood…" I said as I curled my fingers into fists and looked at the ground in defeat. Souji was still mad at me.

Souji sighed before approaching me and planting a gentle kiss on my forehead. "Be good and take care of the headquarters while everyone's gone, okay?" Souji said before leaving the room to join all the other men that had left to mobilize.

The rest of the day past with little interest. After the initial cannon fire I heard this morning, there were no more sounds of artillery and no more updates about any important events happening. As I stared off into spare while sweeping the floor while the sun was setting, I heard the sound of footsteps closing in on my position.

"Inoue-san!" I called out when I saw who was approaching. It was Inoue-san and two other rank-and-file soldiers. "How is the situation? Was there anyone that was hurt?"

Inoue-san smiled at me kindly. "Everyone carried out their duties safe and sound." he said.

"What happened?" I asked.

"The Choshu troops withdrew from the gate to the east side of the city without any fighting breaking out while Satsuma and Aizu withdrew to within the gate." Inoue-san explained.

So the Choshu had officially lost their political position. From this point on, it was going to be Satsuma and Aizu that dominated the Court through the faction of the Kōbu Gattai nobles. This was the start of a political shift in Kyoto.

"Don't look so worried." Inoue-san said to me. "Everyone's fine. Why don't I help you cook dinner? Nobody has gotten the chance to eat all day and Souji told me to tell you that he wants daikon rice porridge for dinner."

I smiled when Inoue-san mentioned what Souji wanted to eat. "Okay." I said as I walked with Inoue-san towards the kitchen.

* * *

[1] Craig, Albert M. _Choshu in the Meiji Restoration_. Lanham: Lexington Books, 1961. 204-07. Print.

[2] Kōbu gattai (Japanese: 公武合体, Union of the Imperial Court and the Shogunate) was a policy in Bakumatsu Japan aiming at obtaining a political coordination between the Bakufu and the Imperial Court. The policy was adopted following the murder of the Prime Minister Ii Naosuke in 1860. The assassination, combined with the popular upheaval against foreign encroachment, forced the Bakufu to soften its political stance, and to adopt the compromise policy of Kōbu Gattai upon the suggestion of the Satsuma and Mito Domains. In the following years, the Shogunate and the Imperial court would vie for political supremacy.

[3] Craig, Albert M. _Choshu in the Meiji Restoration_. Lanham: Lexington Books, 1961. 204-07. Print.

[4] Craig, Albert M. _Choshu in the Meiji Restoration_. Lanham: Lexington Books, 1961. 204-07. Print.

[5] Craig, Albert M. _Choshu in the Meiji Restoration_. Lanham: Lexington Books, 1961. 204-07. Print.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

"The desire for safety stands against every great and noble enterprise." ― Tacitus

"Inoue-san?" I called as I focused on stirring the rice porridge. It was just at the right consistency that most of the guys liked. However, Shinpachi-san liked his porridge thicker than everyone else did, so I always had to scoop out his portion to put in a separate pot to boil more water out. "Can you get the eggs for me?" I asked Inoue-san. Upon returning to headquarters, he opted to help me prepare dinner.

There was a sound of movement in the back as Inoue-san went to fetch the eggs from the storage. While Inoue-san was busying himself with my request, I sampled the porridge briefly. I was a tad bit distracted earlier with my thoughts about the events of this morning and added too much miso, making the porridge a tiny bit too salty. I could still taste the natural sweetness from the rice over the miso, but it was still more salty than I would like it to be. Souji liked strongly flavored foods so he wouldn't complain about the meal being too salty, but Saito-san would most likely say something.

My mind quickly wandered back to what was distracting me earlier as Inoue-san went to fetch me the eggs I needed for the porridge. What would the political shift in the Imperial Court mean for the Roshigumi? What would Aizu do with their newly gained power from the Court? Would Aizu finally start paying the Roshigumi for its services? I seriously hoped that Aizu would acknowledge the Roshigumi for their services today and the role it playing in Aizu gaining more sway in the Imperial Court. Perhaps after today, the Roshigumi could boost its reputation enough to rise from obscurity. Footsteps sounded behind me as someone entered the kitchen and snapped me out of my daze. It was probably Inoue-san returning with the eggs.

"Thank you Inoue-san. Could you please place the basket of eggs over here?" I pointed to the counter next to me without taking my eyes off of the near completed porridge.

"Interesting, I didn't think that I would look enough like Inoue-san for you to mistake me for him." a man wryly said so close to me that I could feel his hot breath tickle my ear.

That wasn't Inoue-san! I jumped slightly before swinging my head around only to see Souji, still clad in his uniform and iron headband, leaning in close to me with a mischievous grin plastered on his face and a smudge of dirt on his cheek. He placed the basket of eggs that Inoue-san had set out to fetch on the kitchen counter next to me before he straightened up to his full height again.

"I told Inoue-san that I would replace his place in the kitchen and that he should help Hijikata-san return the supplies from today's event back to their original place." Souji said before his grin faded from his face. "Which reminds me, we need to talk."

I became stiff as a board at his last statement. I wasn't in the mood to talk about what had transpired between us this morning. In fact, I was never in the mood to talk about what he wanted to talk about. While he normally gave me plenty of freedom to do what I wished, he would clamp down on me if he found me waltzing into a situation he deemed far too dangerous for me, like this morning when I left headquarters when I heard the cannons go off. His normal reaction to me walking willingly into danger would be to hide me away until the danger had passed, something I abhorred. I wanted to help, not be hidden away until all danger has passed. While Souji did have the best intentions in mind, it felt like he was putting me in a cage sometimes. I did not fear danger that inevitably lurked around every corner. What I did fear was being locked away in a cage, being unable to help those I loved until it was too late.

I huffed angrily at Souji and turned back to tend to the porridge in order to ignore Souji. He knew that I hated it when he was overly protective. I knew what situations were too much for me to handle! I could handle myself without his intervention. I may be pregnant now, but I wasn't too far along yet and he didn't know yet. And, most of all, would it have hurt for him to send a messenger back to headquarters to let me know everyone was fine? That he was okay and unhurt?

Souji sighed tiredly at my actions from behind. He placed his right hand on my hip and closed the distance between us as he pressed his chest lightly against my back. I continued to ignore him. While I initially felt miserable at his disapproval in the morning when he scolded me, I was now more annoyed with him and the orders he gave me as he left with the rest of the men.

"Shizuka," he groaned frustratingly at me as he placed his left hand on my lower abdomen, "please don't be like this. I just had a long day. Don't do this to me."

Yeah, I know he had a long day. I also had a long day where I spent the whole day worrying about the danger all the guys were in because I wasn't present to see the how the situation would play out. Again, would it have hurt for Souji to send a messenger back to headquarters during the day to let me know that no one suffered an injury and that everything was fine? I continued to ignore him silently as I cracked nine eggs into the porridge before putting the lid back on the pot to steam the eggs.

Seeing that I was still ignoring him, Souji changed his approach when my unwillingness to speak to him became apparent. He grabbed my wrist tightly with an unyielding gentle strength after I placed the lid on the pot and spun me around so that I was facing him. The gentle expression he normally had when he was speaking to me was replaced by a stern expression that could normally only be found on Hijikata-san's face. He placed his fingers beneath my chin and tried to force me to look him in the eye when I turned my face away. I avoided looking him in the eye by keeping my eyes trained to a spot on the floor near his left foot.

"Shizuka, it's rude to ignore your husband like this." he bit out forcefully while narrowing his eyes at me.

My eyes drifted upwards at the sound of Souji's voice and stopped when my eyes found his. Behind his unyielding exterior façade, his eyes revealed the worry that was well hidden behind his mask. The wall I had briefly erected quickly crumbled when our eyes met. Souji let out another exhausted sigh before letting his stern mask fall as he removed his fingers from under my chin to lay his hand on my cheek.

"I know you hate it when I leave you out of things, but allowing you to come with me this morning would have been too dangerous." he murmured before he brushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "Don't use, 'I've killed a rasetsu before, therefore I could have handled the situation this morning,' as an excuse. Those things are completely different. A rasetsu rushing towards you can be killed, but a cannonball flying towards you can't. Plus, you were always paired up with someone stronger than you when you helped hunt down the rasetsu; whereas, in comparison, you ran out of headquarters this morning with someone who couldn't even fight."

I blinked at what he just said. How did Souji know that I was with Kyoko-chan this morning? He was just waking up when I bolted out of headquarters with Kyoko-chan. There was no way he could have seen who I left headquarters with.

"Yamazaki-kun told me what you told him when he and Shimada-san ran into you this morning. I've known you long enough to be able to pick out the truth from your lies." Souji continued without a pause, already knowing what was on my mind.

"I… I just wanted to help…" I mumbled as I broke eye contact and allowed my eyes to drift towards the floor once more.

"I know." Souji said softly before pulling me into a warm hug.

"I know you were crossed with me leaving the headquarters earlier, but you still should have let me come with you. I could have helped if anyone got injured. It's my job to treat the wounded." I said quietly with my face pressed against his shoulder. "I need to be close enough if I'm going to be useful in the future. I can't take care of the wounded on the battlefield if I'm safely tucked away at headquarters. I'm not afraid of being so close to danger."

"Yamazaki-kun can stabilize any of the wounded long enough for us to get any injured to you at headquarters to treat. There's no need for you to put yourself in danger by coming out to where all the fighting is." Souji adamantly rejected to me being anywhere close to any battlefields before hugging me tighter. "I know you aren't afraid of being close to where all the danger is, but this is more for my sake rather than yours. I'm the one that's terrified of having you so near danger. Please understand that I need to know that you're somewhere safe."

I understood what Souji was saying, but I didn't have the heart to tell him what he was asking of me was impossible. I was a trauma surgeon and to be able to effectively do my job I must be able to get to any injured as soon as possible, which meant being on the front lines.

Souji and I remained in our embrace for what felt like hours when in reality it was only a matter of seconds. We pulled apart from each other when we heard footsteps approaching the kitchen.

"Ah, there you are Souji!" Otou-san said in high spirits as he stopped at the kitchen door with Hijikata-san following behind him. "All the men told me you rushed off without washing up for dinner as soon as we arrived back at headquarters."

"Kondou-san," Souji said cheerfully as he acknowledged the man he admired, "I just wanted to check up on Shizuka first. I'll go wash up now and head to the main hall where everyone is."

"Okay, I'll stay here and help Shizu-chan finish up dinner." Otou-san said with a nod. "Mmm, dinner smells good. Wouldn't you say so, Toshi?"

"Oh! Yes it does." Hijikata-san answered. "Why don't I stay and help too?"

"No way, Hijikata-san!" Souji said as his mischievous grin reappeared back on his face. "Remember how Tsune-san banned you from the kitchen back in Edo? I'd say you're still not allowed in the kitchen. You might mess up Shizuka's hard work."

"What was that?!" Hijikata-san growled back at Souji.

"Ma, ma, calm down Toshi." Otou-san said with a smile, completely unaware of the true nature of Souji's jab at Hijikata-san. "Souji does have a point. You are… well…less than adequate in the kitchen. Why don't you go with Souji while I stay here and help Shizu-chan?"

Hijikata-san seemed speechless for a short few seconds before he let out a breath in resignation. "Alright, I'll go." he said in defeat while Souji flashed me a silly victorious grin, causing me to stifle a fit of giggles.

"Well now that it's decided, hurry up and get out of my kitchen." I said as I playfully shooed the two men out of the kitchen, leaving just me and Otou-san alone. "The porridge is just about done. Can you bring me the bowls, Otou-san?"

"Oh! Sure!" Otou-san said as he fumbled around the cupboards before emerging with a stack of bowls. He placed the bowls on the counter next to me, left of the basket of the unused eggs, before he went back to dig in the cupboards for the table trays. I took the bowls and immediately began filling them with the porridge. I put Shinpachi-san's bowl of thicker porridge to the far right to avoid getting it mixed up with the others while Otou-san finally reemerged with the trays.

"The bowl on the far right is Shinpachi-san's, so make sure not to get it mixed up with the others." I said offhandedly as Otou-san began to put the bowls of porridge and side dishes on the trays.

Otou-san made a sound of affirmation as he focused on his job before speaking up. "Shizu-chan, about this morning—"

"I know what you're going to say." I cut Otou-san off as I garnished the bowls of porridge, minus one, with diced green onions.

"Eh?" Otou-san voiced his surprise. "You do?"

"Souji got to it before you did a bit earlier. You were going to talk to me about my safety, right?"

"So Souji already had this discussion with you…" Otou-san said while rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly before he fell silent. Otou-san then smiled softly while looking at the trays of food and mumbled to himself, "Souji makes a good husband. I'm glad."

"Otou-san?" I asked as he continued to stare off into space.

"Ah, that's right! Nobody's eaten all day! Let's hurry up and bring the food to them!" Otou-san suggested as his normal excitement returned.

* * *

All the men were once again gathered in the main hall for a meeting the morning after the incident with the gates of the Imperial palace. Otou-san, Hijikata-san, and Sannan-san sat before the men while I sat in the corner of the back of the room to observe the events. Serizawa and Niimi were nowhere in sight. Both men had decided that the meeting was not important enough for them to spend their time at and did not show.

"Everyone, you did wonderfully the other day." Otou-san complemented the men. "The Lord of Aizu was most impressed by our work. He now says he would like to officially entrust patrolling Kyoto to us."

"Wow, that's awesome!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed with a fat grin sitting on his face as he nearly bounced out of his seat with excitement.

"This should make conducting our patrols a lot easier!" Sano-san said, joining in on Shinpachi-san's thrilled declaration.

Otou-san grinned proudly along with Sano-san and Shinpachi-san before continuing. "And he bestowed a great honor upon us! The Lord Aizu has bequeathed a new name to our squad." Otou-san said before reaching into his sleeve to pull out a scroll. Otou-san then unrolled the scroll with great fervor and announced, "We're the Shinsengumi!"

With that announcement, all the men of awe and excitement before some turned to their neighbor to share that excitement and joy while the others expressed their happiness through other means.

"The Shinsengumi…" Souji said the new name out loud to himself in excitement, as if to confirm that the good news was truly real.

"This name use to be the name of an actual organization in the Aizu domain." Hijikata-san said as his charismatic nature demanded the men's attention once again. "Those who excelled in the military arts gathered under it."

"That's kinda inspiring, isn't it?" Heisuke said as bounced up and down as he voiced what everyone was undoubtedly thinking.

"Yeah!" all of the men agreed out loud.

Otou-san cleared his throat, giving everyone time to turn their attention to the front once more before saying, "So, in other words, the Lord of Aizu believes that the Roshigumi are worthy as warriors to inherit that name. To meet his expectations, we must further dedicate ourselves to our mission!"

"Yeah!" everyone then fervently replied with high spirits.

"It's not often you get a day as good as this!" Heisuke said happily shortly after as he looked around the room at all the men's happy faces. "Hijikata-san, how 'bout it? It's been ages since we've partied!"

Hijikata-san and Otou-san both turned to each other at the same time and nodded before Hijikata-san turned to face the men again in agreement. "Yeah. We'll celebrate tonight." Hijikata-san said while letting a smile slip out.

All the men cheered loudly at the approval for the party, Shinpachi-san the loudest. "That's what I like to hear!" Shinpachi-san said as his voice rang out above the others.

A party, huh? The last time we all actually had a party that we weren't dragged to by Serizawa was back in Edo. Instead of all the men going to Shimabara to celebrate, the party was going be to held here at headquarters. I popped my knuckles and mentally rolled up my metaphorical sleeves in my mind before slipping out the main hall to head to the kitchen storage to take inventory of all the food supplies we had stocked up there. I had my work cut out for me. I never actually cooked an entire, large, fancy feast by myself before. Back in Edo, it was Tsune-san that cooked the all the feasts while I assisted. So how was I going to prepare all the food for the party? Yes, a trip to the market would need to be arranged. Maybe I could borrow a wagon from Kyoko-chan's family to make carrying all the foodstuffs from the market easier?

"Ah, so here's where you ran off to." a familiar voice said as an arm wrapped around my waist. I looked up to see Souji grinning down at me. He must have noticed me leaving the room and followed me. "So, what are you doing?"

"Just taking an inventory of all the ingredients we have." I said as I made a mental tally on what items we did have and what we were missing. "What do you think everyone would like to eat today?"

"Does it matter?" Souji said with a raised brow. "As long as there's plenty of saké then everything should be fine."

"But I feel like I should cook something fancy for everyone to eat today for the celebration." I said with a slight frown. "Hmm… What about unagi don?"

Unagi don, or freshwater eel bowl, had to be fancy enough. Unagi was freshwater eel and was considered one of Japan's most expensive and luxurious fishes. However, it was pricy because it was considered a delicacy and also, instead of eating just a small slice, like people would with most fish, almost half a fillet of unagi was eaten on a bowl of rice when it was served.

"Unagi don? But isn't unagi a bit pricy to purchase for the Shinsengumi right now? We are now getting paid by Aizu for our services, but none of us actually received our pay yet." Souji said. "Besides, do you even know how to prepare unagi?"

"Remember the last meal we had in Edo before leaving for Kyoto? We had unagi don that night and Tsune-san took the opportunity to teach me then." I said with a finger on my chin. "But you're right about it being too expensive. If I'm trying to cook unagi don for just a few people then we should have enough money, but this party is for everyone in the Shinsengumi and not just for a few men."

"What about duck?" Souji suggested. "Heisuke was bragging the other day about finding a spot where he could catch lots of ducks. If we go catch some ducks, then we don't have to worry so much about our party budget."

Wait… Did he say catch? As in go out at catch wild ducks? Domesticated ducks were easy to catch because they had their wings clipped and they were normally kept in a pen. Wild ducks could still fly, thus making them a thousand times harder to catch. They were also faster than the domesticated ducks.

"Yes, I did say catch." Souji said when I just stared at him blankly.

"Umm… Okay?" I said a bit skeptically. "Then should we just get Heisuke to go catch a few for me to prepare?"

"Yeah." Souji said before suggesting another idea. "Actually, it might be easier for you to make a list of the ingredients you need and send other people out to get them for you. That way you can keep your focus in the kitchen."

Souji did have a point there… OH! I could use this chance to prepare the duck into a dish that I know none of the men here have eaten before. Back in my previous life, my parents were the first of their family to emigrate from China to the United States. Both my parents actually came from farming families, so their levels of education were not the highest. My dad in my past life never completed high school and my mom in my past life only finished middle school. In order to earn a living in the United States, they had to find jobs that did not require a high level of education. My dad was an excellent cook and my mom, despite her low level of education, was fairly good with money. So with the combination of the skills they did have, my parents opened a small family restaurant. Our restaurant did not become one of those big name restaurants that was well known though out the country, but we were quite famous in the neighborhood we were in. Our specialty dish we were most known for? Peking duck, which I learned how to prepare from my dad. I'm sure none of the men here had ever had Peking duck, well, unless they had gone to China sometime before. But I'm sure that was highly unlikely. If I was going to cook Peking duck then it was best I get started right away. This dish took hours to prepare and I wanted to have enough ducks done by the party to night.

"Shizuka?" Souji called after me before jogging to catch up with me when I suddenly turned and made a beeline for our bedroom.

"I'm going to write out a list of all the ingredients I need to prepare the dishes for tonight and I want you and the other guys to go out and buy those ingredients for me. I'll need all the ingredients by the Hour of the Dragon."

"So you've decided what you're going to cook for tonight?"

"Yup! Be prepared for a pleasant surprise." I said confidently.

* * *

"YUMMY!" Shinpachi-san cried as he dropped another large piece of duck in his mouth. "Shizuka-chan really out did herself this time! To think she knew how to cook so many different exotic dishes! YUM!"

"Shinpat-san, stop talking with your mouth full." Heisuke complained while looking absolutely disgusted. "You're spitting out chunks of chewed up food. It's so gross."

"Well, you can't exactly blame him." Sano-san said as he took a sip of saké. "To think that we would ever get to eat such good food. You really out did yourself this time, Shizuka. I guess women really are better around the kitchen then men."

"I wouldn't say that if I were you." I winked at Sano-san. After all, it was my dad in my past life that taught me how to cook the duck they were enjoying so much right now. "You'll be surprised at how skilled some men are around the kitchen."

I placed some more bottles of warm saké on the captains' trays before heading over to where some of the rank-and-file soldiers to replenish their saké supply. Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san were sitting with the group of normal soldiers. I flashed everyone a quick smile and placed their alcohol on their trays.

"Everything alright here?" I asked with a friendly tone. "Is there anything else you need or want?"

"Everything thing is fine here, Sensei." Yamazaki-san answered cheerfully while the others ate. "Though I am curious. Where did you learn how to cook this dish? It is a Chinese dish, is it not?"

"It's a secret." I said while playfully placing a finger on my lips in a shushing gesture.

"I'm so envious!" one of the rank-and-file soldiers in the first division suddenly sobbed nearby with red cheeks. He was either drunk or very close to being drunk. "To think that Captain gets to eat such delicious food daily! I need to get married!"

Over exaggerating much? That guy was definitely drunk.

After the man said his piece, he promptly tipped over and passed out on the floor. What a lightweight. The party had only been going on for about two hours and that man had already passed out. But seriously, that man reminded me of Hijikata-san. Hijikata-san never could hold his alcohol well. I believe Hijikata-san's limit when it comes to saké is four pints, but he actually always got drunk before he finished the first pint. Speaking of Hijikata-san, where was he? Did he slip out of the main hall for a breath of air like Otou-san did earlier?

I gave Yamazaki-san a polite nod before walking towards the main hall door so I could check up on Otou-san and Hijikata-san, but as I approached the door leading out of the main hall, Souji decided to pull me into his lap as I neared him.

"Souji?! What are y—" I was effectively cut off when Souji's lips crashed onto mine.

Immediately after his lips made contact with mine, Souji went ahead and shoved his tongue into my mouth while the rest of room erupted into wolf-whistles and cat-calls. When Souji pulled back slowly after about a minute of tongue, the tip of his tongue was sticking out of his mouth with a thin line of saliva connecting the tip of his tongue to my lower lip. Okay, that was somewhat disgusting, but I will admit that it was also kind of sexy at the same time.

"Are you already drunk?" I asked immediately after the kiss ended as I scrutinized him. He wasn't normally this bold in front of other people.

"Not yet." Souji said with a perverse smirk as he let his eyes deliberately drift downwards towards my breasts, which had already started to grow larger from my condition. "But I have had quite a bit of saké to drink already and I think it's time for a little more fun."

My face burned at his announcement. While it was very clear that he was speaking to me, he said the last part of his statement loudly, as if to ensure that everyone in the room could hear his plans. Souji's smirk grew as he saw me glow bright red and he quickly stood up with me in his arms.

"Sano-san, I'm turning in for the night. Make sure no one comes to disturb me for the rest of the night." Souji said happily as he carried me out the room and towards our bedroom.

"Have fun!" I heard Sano-san call back. I could almost hear the grin on his face.

Meanwhile, as everyone was wrapped up in the festivities of the party at headquarters, no one noticed the fire that had started in a single building in the city. Yukimura Kodo's clinic would be nothing but a smoldering ruin by the morning with the man in question missing.


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." ― Robert Frost

"Souji, wake up! We have an emergency situation!" Hijikata-san's voice rang through the fogginess of my half-asleep mind as I laid against Souji's chest in the futon our room.

"Damn it! Why is it that I can never sleep until it's actually time to get up? The sun hasn't even begun to rise yet." Souji whispered harshly as he carefully and gently eased my limp body off of him so he could sit up. "What happened now, Hijikata-san? And could you keep it down? Shizuka's still asleep."

"There was a fire at Yukimura Kodo's clinic last night." Otou-san's voice answered Souji's question in a whisper. "Yukimura Kodo is now nowhere to be found and we need to get to the site of the fire to investigate the situation."

So there was a fire at the clinic and the man in question was now missing… Wait… WHAT?! This was no time to continue sleeping! In less than a blink of an eye, my mind snapped back into focus as my willingness to sleep vaporized in an instant.

"What did you just say?!" I yelped as my eyes flew open while I instantly shot up into sitting position, completely forgetting that I was…not adequately clothed from last night's activities.

As I shot up into sitting position, the blanket that was covering me completely earlier slipped down to pool at my waist, thus revealing my chest to everyone in the room. Within less than a second, there was a loud slapping sound from the far side of the room. Otou-san was standing wide-eyed next to the closed door with his hand over Hijikata-san's eyes. Otou-san had slapped his hand over Hijikata-san's eyes as fast as he could when I sat up.

"S-Shizu-chan! B-Blanket! Pull up the blanket!" Otou-san stuttered in embarrassment.

"Blanket? What about the blanket?" I asked in confusion before I looked down and squeaked rather loudly when I realized what had happened.

With speed born from pure embarrassment, I quickly hugged myself against Souji to cover my chest. Souji arched his eyebrows at my reaction before he pulled the blanket up for me so I was properly covered. He didn't look very impressed by my earlier blunder.

"Hijikata-san, get out." Souji said pointedly with a dark shadow over his face after wrapping me up in the blanket. "Shizuka's OTOU-SAN, can give me the rest of the details."

"G-Got it!" Hijikata-san stuttered with a bright red blush, indicating that he saw everything, as he quickly scrambled to the leave the room. There was a red hand print over Hijikata-san's eyes as Otou-san had accidentally used too much force when rushing to cover Hijikata-san's eyes.

"So there was a fire at the clinic?" Souji asked Otou-san shortly after Hijikata-san had fled the room. "Was it an accidental fire or did someone target Kodo-san because he's been working with the Bakufu?"

"Oh!" Otou-san exclaimed before shaking his head out and clearing his throat. "We don't know yet. All we know is that Kodo-san's body was never found. We need to search for more clues if we want to have any hope of piecing together what happened."

"Do you think Kenji-kun's information network caught information on the fire last night?" Souji turned to ask me.

"I don't know." I said. "I doubt it did. Kenji-san is up in Osaka right now to deal with some family business, so he wasn't in Kyoto to keep an eye on Yukimura."

Whoever set the clinic on fire must have known that Yukimura was being watched and waited until the eyes were elsewhere before acting. But the major questions were: What were the reasons for setting fire to the clinic and was the culprit an enemy of the Bakufu? However, the situation could also be the other way around. Maybe Yukimura set the fire himself. But why would he set the fire himself? He was clearly gaining from Bakufu support in developing the Water of Life. Maybe he was threatened and used the fire to cover his tracks so he could run for his life? Whatever the reason is, what remains is that the clinic burned to the ground with Yukimura missing and that the Shinsengumi needed to find him.

"Alright, I'll get up now." Souji said as he ran his hand through his hair. "The others already began the investigations, right? Shizuka, do you want to stay here and sleep some more? You've had a long night."

"No, I'll get up too. We need as much manpower on this as possible." I said while stretching. Besides after hearing what had happened, it would be impossible to go back to sleep. Must make the best of the time we have, right?

"Alright then." Otou-san said. "Everyone is meeting up at the clinic's remains. When you're both done dressing, meet up with everyone else there."

As soon as Otou-san left the room, Souji and I got out from under the blankets and rushed to dress for the day. Souji reached around me from behind to help me tie my hakama in place after he finished dressing. How did he manage to dress so fast? He was fully dressed and had already tied his hair up in his normal topknot by the time I was just tying the cord to my hakama.

"Wearing your hakama instead of a kimono?" Souji asked as he reached for my wooden comb after he finished with tying the cord.

"I get the feeling I'm going to be running around the city a lot today." I answered dryly as I picked up my comb and handed it to him. "It's much more convenient to wear hakama on days like this."

Souji hummed in agreement as he brushed out my hair and tied it up in a short ponytail. Unfortunately, my hair was still far too short to be put up in its normal bun. But to be completely fair, it wasn't too long ago when it was cut short.

"By the way, have you gained weight?" Souji asked as he finished tying up my hair. "You're a bit thicker around your center and your breasts are larger. It's not by much, but it's still there."

"No, I haven't." I answered innocently.

I still hadn't told him about my pregnancy yet and there were barely any visible changes yet, but he already noticed some differences in my body. While it did look like I did gain some weight, the fact is that I actually lost a little weight. But losing weight in the early stages of pregnancy was normal. My period was now two weeks late and if I was doing the math correctly, then I would be around four to five weeks along. I hadn't really begun to show the classic morning sickness that came pregnancy yet, but I was showing some other signs. Maybe I was one of those people who didn't get morning sickness? I really should find some time to properly sit Souji down to tell him about my pregnancy. Oh well, another time, maybe.

"Hmm… if you say so…" Souji said while eyeing me unbelievingly.

Grabbing his swords and securing them to his waist after he tied up my hair, Souji grabbed my naginata and tossed it to me before we both left headquarters and headed to the site were Yukimura Kodo's clinic once stood.

* * *

The scene was a smoldering ruin. The clinic had been razed to the ground and all that was fortunate enough to remain standing in the ruin were a few pieces of charred wooden beams that once supported the building. Everything else had been burned to ashes in what appeared to be a ferocious fire. While I had no doubt that this was a massive fire, there was something suspicious about this fire. It was plausible that the building burned in the fire because the majority of it was made from wood, which was flammable; it was the fact that there was nothing left from the fire was strange. A normal fire wouldn't have completely destroyed every single clue, even if the materials were flammable. This fire had a catalyst that ensured that the fire grew big enough and fast enough to consume everything. There must have been oil or alcohol used to make the fire burn faster.

"Men, don't let anyone near until we're done inspecting the site." Hijikata-san said to two rank-and-file soldiers nearby.

"Understood!" the soldiers answered before running off to deter any curious civilians from wandering too close to the crime scene while the captains combed through the smoking ruin.

"This fire is suspicious." I voiced out loud as I spotted several empty charred saké jars in a messy pile on the floor. I'm willing to bet that whoever set the fire used the alcohol in the saké to accelerate the fire.

Saito-san, who was close enough to hear my opinion, nodded silently in agreement. "There was malicious intent in this fire. Whoever started this fire did it with the intention of destroying everything." Saito-san stated while looking at those same saké jars from earlier.

Meanwhile, off to the side, Niimi was on all fours as he stared at what appeared to be a set of broken beakers and flasks. Hearing that there was a fire at Yukimura's clinic, Niimi finally decided that this was something important enough to go investigate for himself, seeing that he was extremely invested in the Water of Life.

"Absolutely nothing survived…" Niimi said weakly in shock and despair. "And here we almost had it!"

"You know what I find strange." Sano-san said while approaching me and Saito-san. "That Yukimura Kodo is nowhere to be found. There's no corpse to suggest that he died in the fire."

"Are suggesting that someone abducted Yukimura?" asked Saito-san.

"That's a possibility, but there's also a small chance that he started this fire himself." said Sano-san

"But why?" I butt in. "He was clearly benefiting from being able to do his research under the Bakufu, so why would he burn all his assets at flee? But if he did burn down his own clinic, then there are larger forces at play here. What would his motive be if he actually burned down his own clinic?"

"Who knows?" Sano-san said as he placed his large hand on my head. "Leave everything to Hijikata-san and Sannan-san. You're smart, Shizuka, but solving arson isn't your specialty."

"I'd hardly say that solving arson is Hijikata-san and Sannan-san's specialty either." I snorted before I resumed my search for clues.

* * *

At the end of the day almost nothing was found. The one possible clue that we did manage to discover was uncovered by Sannan-san. There was a scrap of paper that was a part of a letter which had the name Yukimura Chizuru written on it. However, it was hard to figure out what the name could mean. It was true that Yukimura did have a daughter, but we never actually found out the name of that daughter. A signal name on a damaged scrap of paper could mean many things, but without the context the name was written in, we would be nowhere closer to finding the man.

As if our problems weren't enough, after Yukimura vanished, Niimi had started to act strangely. It felt like he was constantly on edge and looking for an opportunity or opening of some sort. He no longer spent any time around Serizawa like he use to and was now constantly locking himself in the same room where the rasetsu were kept. His recent behavior was more worrisome made me more concern because he had always been a thorn in the Shinsengumi's side. What was he planning now and when was it going to come back and bite us all in the ass?

Nothing was going to get done if I just continued sitting here and worrying about what may happen instead of doing something about it. I put down the calligraphy brush before heading off to find Hijikata-san or Sannan-san. My medical notes could wait until a later day to be finished.

"Hijikata-san, are you in?" I called through the closed doors of Hijikata-san's room.

"Shizuka?" Hijikata-san called back. "Come in."

After getting his approval to enter, I slide the door open and sat down in kneeling position on the floor on Hijikata-san's right side. Hijikata-san was sitting at his desk, completing paperwork while Sannan-san sat right next to him. This was perfect, just the two men I was looking for. They must have been discussing something before I arrived.

"What is it?" Hijikata-san asked as he and Sannan-san focused their attention on me.

"About Niimi—" I started only to be cut off my Sannan-san.

"You've noticed that he has been acting suspicious, no?" Sannan-san asked while pushing up his glasses.

"How did you know?" Seriously, Sannan-san is scary smart.

"You've always been fairly observant of your surroundings." Sannan-san answered. "Both Hijikata-kun and I have already noticed Niimi-san's strange behavior. Rest assure that we are both keeping an eye on him."

"Oh, okay then." I said, letting go of my worries before standing up again to prepare to leave. They were both reliable men that could be depended on. I'm sure that Sannan-san and Hijikata-san were discussing something important before I interrupted and I should leave to allow them to continue what they were doing before.

"Shizuka?" Hijikata-san called after before I stepped outside again causing me to pause and face him again. "Can you brew some tea for me? All this paperwork is getting to my head."

"Okay. I'll bring you and Sannan-san some snacks too."

* * *

"Shizuka-chan!" someone yelled my name loudly one evening as I was removing the dried laundry from the laundry line. I turned to see Shinpachi-san rushing towards me with the look of dread on his face. "Have you seen Niimi-san?"

"No." I said as I momentarily paused what I was doing. I usually tried to avoid running in to the poor excuse for a man, so I could normally go for a few days without seeing him. And besides, with Hijikata-san and Sannan-san watching the man, that meant I could relax my watch on him. "Did something happen?" I asked.

"He's gone!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed.

"What do mean by, 'he's gone'?!"

"He took the water of life and vanished!"

"What?!" I cried. "I thought Hijikata-san and Sannan-san were keeping an eye on him!"

"Yeah, that wasn't enough!" Shinpachi-san said in a rush. "Come on! Everyone is meeting in the main hall to discuss what to do!"

Damn it. I knew that Niimi was smart. A slimy bastard, but a smart slimy bastard. I just never thought he would be able to outsmart Hijikata-san and Sannan-san at the same time in order to escape. We underestimated him. Why does shit always have to hit the fan for the Shinsengumi? Couldn't things go smoothly for once? I quickly followed Shinpachi-san to the main hall where everyone who knew about the Water of Life was gathering and took my seat next to Souji. Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san were the last ones to arrive at the main hall.

"I suspected that he'd try to pull something sooner or later, but to think he ran off with the Water of Life." Hijikata-san said while looking at the floor in front of him as he started the meeting.

"What should we do, Hijikata-san?" Heisuke asked while looking wide-eyed with concern. "Don't we need to hurry and find out where he went?"

"Considering the weight of the situation, I'd love to send all of our men out to find Niimi-san." Hijikata-san answered before looking up from the ground. "But with the Water of Life in the picture, I can only send the handful of us that know about the medicine to look for him."

"Indeed." Sannan-san agreed. "Fortunately, he did not take the men he turned into rasetsu and also experimented on with him."

"Which means that if Niimi-san doesn't resume his experiments, we won't hear of any trouble from him anytime soon, huh?" Sano-san voiced what he was thinking.

"But wouldn't that man do whatever it takes to sell the Water of life?" Souji said acerbically from his seat against the wall.

Everyone fell silent after hearing what Souji had to say for a short amount of time before Otou-san spoke up to break the silence.

"Anyway, finding Niimi-san is our top priority." Otou-san said with authority. "Keep your eyes peeled when you conduct your patrols."

"Sir!" everyone said in affirmation, concluding the short meeting.

I stood up immediately after the meeting ended and headed straight for the bedroom. I need to write a letter to Kosuzu-chan and Ibuki-kun. After the two young lovers fled from Kyoto and settled in Kenji's clan's village, Kosuzu-chan still wrote letters to me and Kyoko-chan to keep in contact. In one of the letters, Kosuzu mentioned that Ibuki-kun was extremely talented in painting and creating wooden printing blocks. It was time to pull a favor from Ibuki-kun. I needed him to create a few prints of Niimi so that everyone could show the small wanted poster to the civilians when on patrol. In a city as crowded as Kyoto, some of the civilians must have seen Niimi. We needed to make use of all the city's resources if we wanted to find Niimi before he managed to sell off the Water of Life to another unfortunate group.

Ibuki-kun responded to my letter rather quickly. Within four days of sending the letter out, I received a package from Ibuki-kun. Within that package contained a small stack of twenty or so prints of Niimi. Kosuzu-chan was right. Ibuki-kun was rather talented. The pictures of Niimi that were printed on the slips of paper looked almost exactly like the man. With those prints, one would have expected the search to go along far smoother, but that wasn't the case. Niimi was excellent at moving undetected under the radar and we had no help from Kenji-san either. Kenji-san had been called away on some family business few days after August 18th and had yet to return.

"Damn it!" Hijikata-san huffed as he picked up a piece of menma with his hands from the dish I was using to hold the toppings for today's lunch before sticking it in his mouth.

Despite not really being allowed into the kitchen, Hijikata-san still occasionally entered while I was preparing everyone's next meal. I was fine with Hijikata-san coming into the kitchen as long as he didn't attempt to help me cook. If I allowed him to help me cook then everyone would end up with food poisoning for the week.

"How the hell is it so hard to find one man in this blasted city?" Hijikata-san growled in frustration as he liberated another piece of menma[1] from the plate. "How is it we can spend all our time and resources searching for a man for half a month and come up with nothing besides a few rumors of bizarre murders?"

"Clearly the man was a lot smarter than we anticipated. We underestimated him because he behaved like a cowardly leech around Serizawa." I said as I placed the noodles into the miso broth I prepared.

Hijikata-san groaned in frustration before reaching for another piece of bamboo. I quickly slapped his hand away before giving him a pointed look. He could eat the rest of his portion during lunch. Hijikata-san looked away sheepishly after I smacked his hand.

"Hmph! It's a rare sight to see you in the kitchen, Hijikata." Serizawa said with a smirk as he entered kitchen to grab a jar of saké from shelves.

"I'd say the same to you." I snorted back, cutting off whatever comeback Hijikata-san had prepared. "Pity you don't have a servant to do the lowly job of fetching your saké anymore. How unfortunate it must be for you now that you must do walk to get your own saké now!"

"Tsk! You have quite the disrespectful mouth on you, woman." Serizawa reprimanded me before popping the cork off the jar and taking a swing of alcohol.

Hijikata-san eyed the man warily before speaking up. "What do you want, Serizawa-san?"

"I find it rather pitiful that you still cannot find Niimi after half a month of searching." Serizawa answered smugly.

"What was that?!" Hijikata-san growled back.

"What's this? The dog is growling back at his master? I guess I won't tell you the information I know you're looking for right now."

Information that we're looking for right now? Could it be…? Did Serizawa know where Niimi was? Serizawa smirked widely when he saw that he had our attention.

"Have you heard of man named Iori Tanaka?" Serizawa said after another swing of saké.

"What about him?" I said with a glare.

"Supposedly that man held a drinking party in Shimabara with some Sonnō Jōi ronin the other day." Serizawa said. "According to the head clerk that led them to their banquet room, that man claimed to have an 'ace up his sleeve to expel foreigners.' His style of speech and his voice sounded just like Niimi's."

Hijikata-san's and my eyes widened at Niimi's name. We glanced at each other before Hijikata-san asked the question that was plaguing both our minds.

"How do you know this information?" Hijikata-san asking with suspicion. "We've dedicated resources and half a month to search for Niimi only to come empty-handed."

"That just shows the difference between your skill level and mine." Serizawa answered condescendingly.

"Where is he now?" I asked Serizawa seriously.

"Who knows?" he taunted us smugly.

"Why are you telling us this information?" Hijikata-san asked with greater suspicion.

"Niimi needs to be eliminated before he comes back to bite us all in the ass and who better to do the work for me than you, Hijikata?"

Hijikata-san grit his teeth quietly at Serizawa as Serizawa took another large gulp from his jar of saké before leaving the kitchen with a smug smirk plastered onto his face. A strained silence fell over the kitchen before Hijikata-san let out a long and tired sigh.

"Stay here and finish cooking, Shizuka." Hijikata-san said as he ran his hand down his face. "I'll go inform the others of this new development and have Yamazaki start searching in Shimabara."

* * *

"Look over there." Souji said while pointing to the riverbank where a crowd of people were gathered.

Souji, Saito-san, and I were heading back to headquarters after another day of fruitless search for the Niimi. Saito-san and Souji had brought me along with them to conduct the search today because they figured that I should be the one asking the women about whether they had seen Niimi or not. Women were normally more comfortable talking to another person of the same gender, hence I might have been able to get information that the men would have not been able to. Despite knowing the new name that Niimi was now going by, we still came up with nothing today.

After Souji pointed at the riverbank, we all stopped walking to observe what was going on. There was a crowd of civilians crowded around something of interest. One of the two men that were with the city's law enforcement poked at the corpse laying half in the water and half on dry land with his sasumata[2]. The corpse was of a man with white hair, a rasetsu.

"How's it look?" the man asked the other man that was poking the corpse.

"One jab right to the heart." the other answered. "Must have been a fatal blow. Anyway, we ought to get him out of the water."

"Hey! Put the dead guy over here!" another one of the city's law enforcers pointed to a tarp on the ground next to the river.

"Let's go." Saito-san said calmly. "This needs to be reported to Hijikata-san."

* * *

Are you certain he was a fury?" Hijikata-san asked as we reported our findings on the riverbank from a bit earlier today.

"I am." Saito-san answered without a doubt. "I believe the experiment failed and he could no longer control the rasetsu, thus he killed the man."

"What should we do, Hijikata-san?" Souji asked from his normal seat against the wall.

Before Hijikata-san had a chance to really even think about what needed to be done, Yamazaki-san's voice came from outside the closed door.

"Commander!"

"What is it?" Hijikata-san asked. "Come in."

"Excuse me." Yamazaki-san said as he opened the door. "The inspectors in town just informed me that they saw who they think was Niimi refer to himself as Iori Tanaka before entering a high-class restaurant called Yamao in Gion-Shinchi[3].

Hijikata-san's eyes hardened before he turned to us. "Souji, Saito, Shizuka, you up for this?"

"Sir!" Saito-san replied while Souji confidently said, "But of course."

I just merely nodded my head in response to Hijikata-san's question. It probably wasn't the smartest plan running headlong into a situation that could easily break out into a dangerous fight while pregnant, but we finally located Niimi and I was not going to let my "condition" interfere with what needed to be done. Besides, it wasn't like Niimi was very strong anyways. I was also not very far along in my pregnancy, so most wouldn't be able to tell I was pregnant in the first place. It was a good thing that no one knew about my pregnancy yet. If they had known then I would have been forced to stay at headquarters and this operation would have been down one person.

"If we try apprehending him inside, there's no need to take a large group." Hijikata-san reasoned. "It'll just be the five of us."

"I understand." Saito-san nodded.

"Let's just hurry and get this over with." Souji added while standing up. He pulled me to my feet shortly afterwards.

By the time we arrived at Yamao, the sun had already set and the crescent moon was already high in the night sky. When we stopped at the entrance of the restaurant, Hijikata-san quickly gave out our orders.

"Yamazaki, go around back."

"Understood!" Yamazaki replied before running off towards the back of the building.

"Let's go!" Hijikata-san said to the rest of us before we rushed into the building.

"Welcome to—" the head clerk said politely as we rudely barged into the building. "T-There a problem, sir?" the man stuttered afterwards, startled when Hijikata-san ran straight at him and grabbed him by the collar.

"Where are you serving your guest, Iori Tanaka?!" Hijikata-san asked harshly with his face scrunched up into a near snarl.

"I-I wouldn't know!" the man cried fearfully.

"Passin' through!" Souji said with a hint of playfulness as he rushed on ahead.

"Commander, let's go." Saito-san said Hijikata-san before he rushed ahead to join Souji in the search.

Upon hearing Saito-san's suggestion, Hijikata-san tossed the poor man backwards before running forward to join in on the search. Really? Did he have to throw the poor man that was just doing his job? I get that we were in a hurry, but did Hijikata-san have to treat the man like that? I stayed behind to help the man back up on his feet.

"I'm sorry about that." I apologized with a friendly smile. "But there's a reason everyone is in such a rush. There were reports of a dangerous criminal making use of one of the rooms here. Please keep everyone else away while we search for and deal with this man, okay?"

"D-Dangerous criminal?!" the man shuddered in fear. "A-Alright! I'll k-keep everyone away."

I gave the man another smile before running off to join the others on the search. It looked like they already searched many of the rooms while I was dealing with the head clerk. I quickly located a dark room with the door opened and ran in join the others. Hijikata-san was already approaching Niimi with a furious look on his face inside the room while Saito-san and Souji stood over two dead men that had just recently been killed.

"You're a bunch of fools who don't grasp the political situation at hand!" Niimi cried in fear as he backed away from Hijikata-san with his hand grasped around a bottle of the Water of Life in his shirt. "You won't get off lightly if you try to harm me."

Hijikata-san kick the table tray of food in front of him away in a show of force to show Niimi that there was going to be no mercy tonight.

"Is that all you have to say?" Hijikata-san asked mercilessly.

At that moment, Niimi panicked and opened the bottle in his hands and downed it in an instant. Shit! No one was expecting Niimi to be desperate enough to actually drink the Water of Life. There was no way that the thing was near perfected enough to be used without the risk of insanity.

"What?!" Hijikata-san cried in surprise as he quickly drew his sword to strike down Niimi, hoping that he could kill Niimi before the effects of the Water of Life took hold. Unfortunately, Hijikata-san was not fast enough and Niimi drew his own blade and parried the blow all under a second.

I quickly readied my naginata in front of me only to have Souji step in front of me.

"Stay back." Souji said to me as he readied his own blade. "Don't get involved in this fight if you don't have to."

The next events all happened in a blink of an eye. Niimi quickly forced Hijikata-san back, causing Hijikata-san to have to jump away to avoid getting cut down. As soon as Hijikata-san moved himself out of range, Saito-san started his own series of attacks in the form of a series thrusts. Niimi had no problem dodging Saito-san's incredibly quick attacks and dodged each thrust with ease. Just as it looked like Saito-san had cornered him and stabbed him through the head, Niimi vanished.

"Hajime-kun, above!" Souji shouted out his warning as Niimi used the ceiling as a backboard to propel himself back down to attack Saito-san. Saito-san jumped backwards to barely dodge that attack.

As soon as Saito-san was out of the way, Souji ran forward to swing his sword down on Niimi, but Niimi, who was greatly strengthened by the effects of the Water of Life, manage to block the strike with his sword using only one hand. Niimi smirked at Souji before grabbing Souji's upper arm with his free hand and throwing Souji to ground nearby with enough force to stun Souji. Niimi then raised his sword over Souji in preparations to stab him.

"Souji!" Hijikata-san cried before rushing forwards to aid Souji.

It felt like my heart had leapt to my throat when I saw Niimi standing over Souji like that. I knew Souji requested me to stay out of the fight, but there was no way I was going to stay back now after what I saw. I rushed forward with Hijikata-san to push Niimi back before he could stab Souji. Of course, both Hijikata-san's and mine attacks miss as Niimi jump backwards over us to dodge the attack.

"You're slow; too slow!" Niimi taunted us with glee as he basked in his new found strength and powers. "Your strikes are like that of a child!"

"You kept your wits, even after becoming a rasetsu?" Hijikata-san asked while furrowing his brow. Did Niimi actually manage to develop the Water of Life that far on his own?

This wasn't good. Before rasetsu were easier to kill because they no longer could think logically, but Niimi could still control himself and think logically. I gripped my naginata a bit tighter as I shifted back into my battle stance.

"Remember what I said?" Niimi continued to taunt us. "'You won't get off lightly if you try to harm me.'"

"This ticks me off." Souji said as he got back up on his feet. "It's like he has the upper hand even though there are four of us. This isn't funny. And didn't I tell you to stay back, Shizuka?" Despite what Souji said, he didn't force to stay out of the fight this time.

"This is the power of a rasetsu! The new era will be handed over to whosoever possesses this medicine!" Niimi bragged. "Choshu, Satsuma, and even Tosa… Everyone will desperately want it!"

"So who did you sell it to?" snarled Hijikata-san.

"Those men presented a tasty proposition," Niimi said while looking back to the two dead men behind him, "but you made that a thing of the past!"

While Niimi was speaking, I positioned myself on the right side of Niimi and directly opposite to Saito-san. Hijikata-san and Souji looked at each other before nodding and rushing at Niimi together. On the other hand, I worked with Saito-san in striking at Niimi from the sides first. Rushing at Niimi with Saito-san at the same time, I performed a standard thrust as Saito slashed his sword downwards at Niimi. None of our hits connected. Niimi had managed to twist his body into a strange position to dodge both our attacks at the same time. Niimi then punched Saito-san in the face with enough force to knock him back into the wall before he grabbed the end of my naginata and delivered a hard kick to my abdomen. I dropped my weapon when his foot connected with my abdomen as I was kicked hard enough to smash into the wall opposite of Saito-san and have my two lowest ribs on either side fractured. When I hit the wall painfully, I had the breath knocked out of me and my vision blurred, preventing me from getting back up or seeing what happened afterwards. All I knew was that as soon as my vision returned to normal, Niimi's head was severed from his body and Hijikata-san was standing over the corpse, panting while covered in blood.

While my ribs were fractured, it wasn't my legs that were damaged so I should have been able to stand back up, abet painfully. But as soon as I tried to stand back up, a crippling shot through my lower abdomen causing me to collapse onto all fours as I broke out into cold sweat from the pain. I took a hit where should have avoided at all cost.

"Shizuka?!" Souji cried as he rushed to my side when he saw me collapse once again.

No… This couldn't be happening… I—Why…? I was such a fool.

Tears began to pool in my eyes as I realized what was happening. I was having classic a sign of a miscarriage. I was truly a fool. I should have never joined in on this operation. How could I have allowed this to happen?

"Ah!" I cried in pain as another shot of crippling pain shot through my lower abdomen. I quickly crumpled onto the floor again in fetal position.

Souji quickly pull me into sitting position on the floor and leaned me against him. "Shh, it'll be okay. The hit wasn't that serious, the pain will go away soon." Souji said as he tried to comfort me without knowing what was truly wrong. Saito-san and Hijikata-san quickly rushed over and kneeled down next to me to scan me over for the injury that was causing me such intense pain.

"No it won't." I whimpered as another powerful cramp hit me again. I already started feeling the blood run down from between my legs. It would only take a matter of seconds before the blood became visible on my hakama.

"There's blood!" Hijikata-san cried in alarm as he began to see the first signs of blood appear on my hakuma. "She has a serious injury somewhere! We need to get her back to headquarters to treat her!"

"There's nothing you can do. It's internal." I whispered as I buried my head into Souji's chest before sobbing, "I'm having a miscarriage."

Everyone froze as a heavy silence fell across the room. Souji's grip on me tightened before he spoke.

"You were pregnant?" Souji whispered quietly as he tried to get me to look at him.

"I'm sorry." I managed to say before I broke down into tearful sobs. I knew Souji really wanted a child, but I was having a miscarriage now with his first child.

Souji didn't say anything as placed his face against the top of my head afterwards and let his tears fall into my hair as he grieved alongside with me.

* * *

[1] Menma (メンマ or 麺麻 or 麺碼) is a Japanese condiment made from lactate-fermented bamboo shoots. The bamboo shoots are dried in the sun or through other means before the fermentation process. Menma is a common topping for noodle soups, notably ramen.

[2] The sasumata (刺股) (spear fork) is a pole weapon used by the samurai class and their retainers in feudal Japan.

[3] Gion (祇園, ぎおん) is a district of Kyoto, Japan, originally developed in the Middle Ages, in front of Yasaka Shrine. The district was built to accommodate the needs of travelers and visitors to the shrine. It eventually evolved to become one of the most exclusive and well-known geisha districts in all of Japan. The geisha in the Gion district (and Kyoto generally) do not refer to themselves as geisha; instead, Gion geisha use the local term geiko. While the term geisha means "artist" or "person of the arts", the more direct term geiko means essentially "a child of the arts" or "a woman of art".


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48**

"The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself." ― C. JoyBell C.

I laid on the futon in mine and Souji's room alone for four days after the start of the miscarriage. After being brought back to headquarters after that night, Souji had Yamazaki-san take care of my fractured ribs before he brought me back to our bedroom. Yamazaki-san told me and Souji that I was not allowed to leave the futon for the next week and a half while my body finished with the miscarriage. For the next week and a half, my body was supposed to push out the placenta and the now dead fetus. During those first four days I was in bed, I didn't speak to anyone as I was lost in my own thoughts and guilt. Souji never really entered the room during those four days either. The only time he came in the room was to drop off a tray of food or to pick up the empty tray of food I had eaten from. Souji didn't even come into the room to sleep anymore. The times where Souji did come into the room, he didn't spare me any glances nor did he stay any longer than he had to. He also had not spoken to me since bringing me back after the initial event. This was all my fault. I had known better than to join in on the hunt for Niimi while pregnant.

The door opened once again, allowing light to enter into the dark room. Souji entered the room once again with a tray that contained my lunch. He placed the tray of food on the floor on my left side before standing up to leave the room. I didn't want to be alone anymore and the sight of Souji's back as he walked away stung.

"Souji, I…" I started but drifted off.

What right did I have to ask him to stay with me for a while? I had been making really stupid choices lately so the sorrow I was experiencing now was something I brought onto myself. But Souji, he didn't deserve all the troubles I brought upon him with my stupidity. If I didn't make that choice to go with him and the others to take care of Niimi then Souji would still happily be a father-to-be. If I didn't act on my own so often then our relationship wouldn't be so strained right now. And above all, I should have told Souji I was pregnant as soon as I found out.

I was selfish. I knew that my movement would be immediately restricted the moment I announced to Souji I was pregnant. In order to keep my freedom, I had opted not to tell Souji about the pregnancy and look where that got me.

"What is it?" Souji asked harshly. His silent anger that had been brewing for quite some time before the miscarriage was now rearing its ugly face. Over the past few days, his anger at me had not diminished in the slightest at all. If anything, his anger grew more while he bottled it inside of him.

"I…I…" I couldn't finish what I intended to say as he continued to glare at me harshly.

When I did not say anything else, Souji resumed walking towards the door to leave, but he stopped when he stepped onto the threshold of the doorway.

"For someone so smart, you make the stupidest choices." Souji said bitterly before he turned around to face me again. He stepped back into the room and shut the door behind him. "So are you finally ready to talk?"

I didn't answer him as I kept my teary eyes trained to the floor as he approached me. Souji took a seat on the empty spot on the futon on my right before he stuck his fingers under my chin to raise my face so he could see my eyes.

"Look at me." Souji ordered me when I didn't raise my eyes to meet him.

Upon hearing his demand, the tears that were pooling in my eyes finally started to roll down my face as I allowed my eyes to meet his. I would no longer deny him what he wanted me to do. My irrational invincibility complex and my stupid disobedience to his wishes was what landed me in this position in the first place.

"You never stop to consider how your own actions affect other people, do you?" Souji said as he narrowed his eyes angrily at me. "I have been extremely patient with you, hoping that you would see things my way, but you never do until it's too late. When will you realize that what you do and what happens to you will affect everyone around you? How is it that you take this into account for other people and not for yourself? What makes you so special that you think that this doesn't apply to you? What makes you think that you can behave so selfishly?"

"I'm sorr—"

"No. Don't bother apologizing anymore, not unless you mean it. I won't take anymore empty apologies from you anymore." Souji cut me off as he continued to harshly lecture me. "You run off into the city at the first sound of artillery fire. Then you went after Niimi with me and the others while you knew you were pregnant! Why didn't you even bother telling me that you were pregnant?! Do you ever stop and think about everything you do and how it affects me?!"

I pulled my face away from Souji's hand to I averted my gaze as I continued to cry silently. He gaze grew too intense for me as I burned in shame. Everything Souji had just said was correct. I was selfish and inconsiderate. I had already forgotten the meaning of the tsunokakushi I wore on our wedding day. The tsunokakushi was supposed to cover up the woman's "horns" of jealousy, ego, and selfishness. I was supposed to become a gentle and obedient wife after the wedding. I certainly did a piss poor job of fulfilling my role. He deserved better than what I had to offer.

"Souji, I—"

"No, I said don't apologize unless—"

I cut Souji off with a near yell, "I do mean it this time! I've learned my lesson…" I finished with a near inaudible mumble as I clenched the blanket in my hands before raising my teary eyes to meet his again. "I promise I'll listen to you from now on… I won't let something like this happen again. I promise… I promise..."

Souji sighed and his expression softened after he heard my declaration. "Is that so…? Souji mumbled as he brushed away some of my tears with his thumb before laying his hand on my cheek. "Then I'll hold you to your promise. Don't break my trust in you."

I nodded tearfully as I held on to the hand he placed on my cheek. He offered me a small strained smile before he cupped my face to bring me closer to him so he could lightly peck my forehead. Souji released me afterwards and stood up to leave once again, but I still didn't want to be left alone, even if I did deserve it.

"I'll be back to check on you later." Souji said as he opened the bedroom door once again. He paused when he looked back at me and he sighed tiredly when he saw my lonely expression. "What is it Shizuka?"

"It's nothing." I muttered as I looked away. I didn't really have the right to ask him to stay with me a little while anymore. Not after all the stress I put him through.

"Shizuka," Souji said exasperatedly as he looked at me expectantly, "I don't want you hiding from me either. Tell me what's wrong."

"I don't want to be alone right now…" I mumbled shamefully.

"I can go ask Kondou-san or Hijikata-san to sit with you." Souji suggested, but I shook my head silently. I only wanted him.

Souji let out another stressed sigh when he realized what I wanted. "Shizuka, I have patrol next with Heisuke. I can't stay here."

"I know." I said with a tone full of depression as I laid back down on the futon and pulled the blanket over my head. "Just ignore me. I know that you have more important things to do than deal with my problems. I brought these problems upon myself so it should be fitting that I deal with them on my own."

Silence filled the room before I heard Souji turn to exit the room. I should have started to eat the lunch that Souji had brought me when he left, but I couldn't stomach the thought of eating right now. I turned to lay on my side under the blanket as I reflected on my actions. I couldn't eat what Souji had brought me now, but I would force myself to eat an hour later. I needed to keep my strength up if I wanted to make a full recovery. I continued lying motionless under the blanket for the next few short minutes before the door opening again disrupted my reflections.

"You know I was expecting you to eat after I left." I heard Souji say in disapproval. What was he doing back here? I thought he said that he had to go on patrol with Heisuke.

"I will." I said quietly from my hiding spot under the blankets. "I just don't think I can stomach food right now. I'll force myself to eat in an hour or so."

"That's not good enough." Souji said. "You need to eat while the porridge is still hot."

Souji closed the door behind him as he entered the room and pulled the blanket covering my head down so that he could see me. He gently eased me into a sitting position before he picked up the tray of food and placed it so it was directly in front of me. Souji then took the bowl of porridge in his hand along with the spoon before he took a spoonful of porridge from the bowl to blow on it softly.

"Eat." Souji said a bit forcefully as he raised the spoonful of porridge in front of my mouth.

"I thought you have patrol with Heisuke right now." I said before I accepted the spoonful of porridge with my mouth and forced myself to swallow.

"I traded patrol times with Sano-san just a bit earlier, when I left the room." Souji explained as he raised another spoonful of porridge to my mouth. "While my job is important, your wellbeing is more important to me and my first priority." he said with a gentle tenderness.

Despite all the odds in spite of my queasy stomach, I managed to finish the bowl of porridge that Souji was spoon-feeding me. He picked up the empty tray and placed it to the side to allow me to lay back down on my side before he moved to the empty spot next to me in the futon. He got in quickly and spooned me from behind as he pulled me close to provide comfort through his touch. After he wrapped his arms around me, his hand drifted downwards to rest on my now empty womb.

"I'm sorry." I sorrowfully sniffed again when I felt his hand resting on where the baby would have been if now if it had lived.

"Shh, no more tears." Souji whispered. "We can try again for another one after you heal up and your menstrual cycle starts again, okay?"

"Okay." I answered while sniffling.

* * *

I lay wide awake as I waited for Souji to return on the night of September 15th. Earlier, during the late afternoon, Otou-san and Hijikata-san stopped by to check on me and to grab Souji for a serious meeting. When I asked about the meeting was going to be about, Souji just shook his head and told me he would tell me after the meeting was over and that I should remain in bed and rest. The meeting must have been a secret meeting because Heisuke and Shinpachi-san seemed completely unaware that there was a meeting as they came to visit me while Souji was away.

"Hey Shizuka-chan," Heisuke said as he sat crossed leg on the left side of me next to Shinpachi-san, "when are you going to start cooking for us all again?"

"Yeah, when?" Shinpachi-san added. "Whenever Souji cooks, everything is flavored too strongly; whenever Saito cooks, everything consists of tofu; whenever the brat cooks, all we ever have are snacks!"

"Who do you think you're calling a brat, you old man!" Heisuke objected. "Besides, whenever you and Sano-san cook, we have nothing but saké!"

"There's nothing wrong with that!" Shinpachi-san argued back defensively.

"Yes there is! It's unhealthy! Right, Shizuka-chan?"

I giggled merrily at their silly argument. After Souji and I made up, I became much more cheerful and sociable again.

"Hey! Don't laugh, Shizuka-chan! This is a serious problem!" Shinpachi-san complained while Heisuke nodded whole-heartedly in agreement.

"Don't worry so much about food." I said while snickering at them. "I'll be off my bed rest order after tomorrow. Just bear with everyone else's cooking for now."

"Aw man. That's not soon enough!" Heisuke complained as he deflated. "By the way, I've been meaning to ask you about Hijikata-san."

Hijikata-san? What did he want to know about him?

"Well, you've known him since you were a child, right?" asked Heisuke. "Why is it that I've never seen him cook? Actually, I've never even really seen him enter the kitchen much either…"

"Yeah, that's right!" Shinpachi-san jumped in with fervor. "Why do we all have to cook while Hijikata-san never has to? It's so unfair!"

"You better want it to stay that way if you don't want to die from food poisoning." I answered seriously.

"EH?" both men questioned at the same time.

"This actually happened on the day I met you at the market, Heisuke." I said. "Hijikata-san and Souji were in the kitchen trying to help Tsune-san cook lunch, the key word being 'trying'. Apparently, Hijikata-san was so terrible at cooking, he used up all our ingredients while messing everything up so much that Tsune-san kicked both Souji and Hijikata-san out of the kitchen before banning Hijikata-san from entering the kitchen ever again. At that time, the dojo was already starting to go bankrupt and we couldn't afford to keep replacing the destroyed ingredients, so the only logical thing was to ban Hijikata-san from the kitchen."

"Seriously?!" Shinpachi-san yelped in surprise.

"So that's why you were in the market that day." Heisuke nodded calmly in understanding before loosing his composure in an exaggerated fashion. "Wait a sec… if Hijikata-san use to waste food all the time while he was attempting to cook then why does he always yell at us when we accidentally waste food! That hypocrite!"

"What's this? Telling embarrassing stories about Hijikata-san while I'm not here?" Souji butt in wryly as he slid our bedroom door open. "You should have invited me."

"Oh, Souji!" Shinpachi-san greeted Souji with a wave and a massive grin. "Where have you been? Actually, where was everyone? The only captains around were me and Heisuke. Where'd you all go?"

"We all went out drinking without inviting both of you." Souji lied gleefully as he watched the two other men's faces drop.

"What?!" Shinpachi-san complained verbosely. "Why didn't you guys invite me?! I can understand why you guys didn't invite the brat, but why not me?!"

"Stop calling me a brat, you ugly mug!" Heisuke retorted loudly. "You guys are all jerks!"

"Well that's just the way things are." Souji said smugly. "While I'm sure Shizuka did enjoy your company while I was gone, I want to have her to myself right now, so out." he said while pointing to the open door.

"Fine! Be that way!" Shinpachi-san huffed while stomping out of the room. "Let's go, Heisuke! We'll go out to drink ourselves!"

"Eh?! Wait, Shinpat-san! Isn't it past curfew?!" Heisuke cried as he ran after Shinpachi-san. "Rest well, Shizuka-chan!" he said before he closed the door and continued running after Shinpachi-san.

Souji let out a sigh before he started to change into his sleeping robe for the night. He tossed his dirty clothing into the small hamper in the corner of the room before blowing out the lantern and climbing into the futon with me.

"So what was the meeting about?" I asked after Souji got comfortable.

"It was about Serizawa-san." Souji sighed as he wrapped his legs around mine. "Hijikata-san laid out the assassination plan for those who are going to be involved. The assassination will happen tomorrow night."

"So quickly." I mumbled before I exhaled. "How is the assassination going to happen tomorrow?"

"All the captains, except Sano-san and Inoue-san will go with Hijikata-san as he invites Serizawa-san to Shimabara tomorrow night for a party. Sano-san and Inoue-san will keep an eye on things in headquarters to ensure no outsiders interfere while the rest of us will try to get Serizawa to drink as much as possible." he explained as he pulled me slightly closer. "Heisuke and Shinpachi-san will come with the rest of us to the party to keep up appearance and to keep Shinpachi-san from interfering with the assassination if he finds out. Hajime-kun's role is to prevent Shinpachi-san from returning to headquarters before the assassination is completed. Sannan-san, Hijikata-san, and I will be in the actual assassination squad with Sano-san lending his assistance if we need it. We'll perform the assassination after Serizawa falls asleep."

"Is there anything you want me to do?" I asked. I knew he wouldn't want me to be involved, but I felt like I had to ask anyways.

"I need you to stay here in this room tomorrow and not interfere." Souji said as he tightened his hold on me. "Assassination is an ugly business and you're still not fully recovered from the miscarriage. I don't want you involved. You will listen to me this time, right?"

"I will." I said obediently, I had meant what I said to him the other day. "I won't do anything unless you ask me to."

"Good girl. Now let's get some sleep. We have a decisive day tomorrow and I can't afford to be distracted with fatigue." he said as he sighed with relief before closing his eyes.

* * *

"I'm going now." Souji said as he put on his zōri[1] while sitting on the roka right outside our bedroom. "Stay inside tonight and don't come out no matter what."

"Okay." I answered from the futon. "Stay safe."

Souji nodded at me in approval before standing up and securing his katana to its normal place on his waist. He gave me one more reassuring half smile before he closed the door and went to go meet the others at Shimabara. There was now nothing for me to do other than wait for the results of the assassination. I reached for my medical notes that Souji placed on the floor near me before he left. If I was going to spend the next couple hours by myself then might as well get some review done.

Several hours past as the evening sky turned to night and as soon as the sun had set, a light drizzle had started. If the humidity the past few days was taken into account then the light drizzle was going to turn into a pretty big thunderstorm. As the storm outside grew fiercer outside late at night, it was actually the loud ringing of metal hitting metal that caught my focus instead of the thunder. Metal hitting metal… It was the sound of swords striking each other. There was a fight going on. I thought the whole point of taking Serizawa out to drink was to ensure that he was too drunk to fight back and to kill him when he had fallen asleep. The plan must have not been a success. I stared out the open window with the useless hope that I might get a glimpse of what was happening, but the window I was looking out of was facing the wrong direction. Then suddenly, almost as sudden as the sounds of fighting begun, it stopped. The fight must now be over.

Another three hours past in silence before the bedroom door finally slid open. Souji walked in the room covered with a hint of mud and a few new bruises he didn't have before when he left headquarters earlier. It must have been a tough fight, but wasn't the fight three against one or something like that?

"What happened?" I asked worriedly from the futon as I put down my notes I was reviewing earlier. "I could hear you guys fighting from here. Did the plan not go smoothly?"

"No." Souji said has he shook off the dirt that had dried on his left sleeve before he removed his swords from his waist. "Serizawa-san was already expecting us to try to assassinate him tonight, so he was waiting for us. He drank the Water of Life after Hijikata-san injured his arm and made things a lot more difficult for us. Hajime-kun also had some trouble on his end. Shinpachi-san discovered what was planned for tonight, so Hajime-kun had to whack Shinpachi-san really hard on the side with the blunt end of his sword to stop him from returning to headquarters to interfere with the assassination. Other than a few new bruises for everyone, no one was injured seriously."

"Wait, Saito-san hit Shinpachi-san really hard?" I asked feeling a bit lost at Souji's brief explanation. There was more it than that, right?

"Yeah, that the gist of it." Souji said as he reached into his sleeve. "Here, I have something for you."

I blinked at the sudden topic shift in the conversation. What did he want to give me? As Souji pulled his hand out of his sleeve, my eyes widened at the object in his hand. It was my kanzashi! I thought that Serizawa had made good on his word and pawned it off at the market for some extra spending money. If Serizawa really did sell it then how was it in Souji's hands right now?

"My kanzashi!" I gasped as Souji gently placed it in my hands. I clutched it tightly with my hands before bringing it to my chest. "How did you find it? I thought that Serizawa had sold it!"

"He never did." Souji said as he kneeled down in front of me so he could slip my hair behind my ears. "I found it when I was helping the others sort through Serizawa's belongings a bit earlier. Kondou-san wants to hold a funeral for Serizawa tomorrow morning at Mibu temple."

"Oh." I said with a small voice before I glanced back down to stare at my kanzashi again. Souji chuckled at my behavior and gave me a light kiss on the lips before he stood up again to go undress.

"Too bad your hair hasn't grown long enough again to wear the kanzashi again." Souji said as he changed into his sleepwear. "But it will be in a month or so, so be patient."

"Okay." I nodded meekly.

After Souji finished changing, he walked back over to where I was and took the hair accessory out of my hands so he could set it on the table. He picked up my notes off the floor to return them to their proper place before he went to go blow out the lanterns.

"Don't you want to go take a bath first before you go to bed?" I asked him a bit concernedly. He had been tossed around in the mud during the fight earlier. A nice warm bath would help his sore body as well as clean him off.

"I'll take one tomorrow morning when you can help me." Souji said as he crawled into the futon to join me. He lied down and gently pulled me down on top of him, while being mindful of my still fractured ribs, before he continued speaking. "Your bed rest order will officially be over tomorrow, so why take a bath now when I can thoroughly enjoy one with you tomorrow morning?"

* * *

"What gives, Sano?!" Shinpachi-san complained energetically the following morning on the steps of Mibu Temple after Serizawa's funeral. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You're still going on about that, Shinpachi?" Sano-san asked while being slightly annoyed that Shinpachi-san hadn't let it go yet.

"Saito, you gotta let me whack you once!" Shinpachi-san turned to yell at Saito-san when he received a less than satisfactory response from Sano-san.

"I refuse." Saito-san said calmly, his response ruffling Shinpachi-san even more than Sano-san's did.

"Then I challenge you to a fight! With wooden swords!" Shinpachi-san cried while pointing his finger accusingly at Saito-san. Shinpachi-san continued to babble nonsense when Saito-san ignored him.

"Give it up, Shinpat-san." Heisuke said while staring at the clouds in the sky. "Hajime-kun is just ignoring you now."

"Oi! Don't ignore me!" Shinpachi-san continued to complain in the background.

I exhaled slowly before leaning against Souji as I sat on the steps of the temple next to him and watched the clouds float by.

"Hmm, what is it?" Souji asked when he noticed the slight change in my breathing pattern.

"It's a new day and a new dawn for the Shinsengumi." I said with a small smile. "And not to mention, I'm finally allowed to get out of bed."

"Is that so?" Souji said as he looked back up to the sky to watch the clouds with me.

The Shinsengumi was now united under Otou-san and it would now finally be able to start recovering from the bad reputation that Serizawa created for it. I was recovering nicely from my injuries and miscarriage and would be able to have the chance to conceive again after four to five weeks later. Despite the many misfortunes we all encountered in this long process of change, we were all going to grow and learn more from the experiences we had with our first half year in Kyoto.

* * *

[1] Zōri (草履) are flat and thonged Japanese sandals made of rice straw or other plant fibers, cloth, lacquered wood, leather, rubber, or—increasingly—synthetic materials. Zōri are quite similar to flip-flops, which first appeared in New Zealand and the United States sometime around World War II as rubber imitations of the wooden thong sandals long worn in Japan.


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49**

"I hang around kids so people will assume when I act like one it's because I'm babysitting." ― Richelle E. Goodrich

If I was to name the one thing that I missed the most from the future, I would shout sanitary napkins without a moment's hesitation. Back in my past life, I've never really thought too much about them and even found them a little annoying to use. There was always the occasions when they leaked or felt uncomfortable, but sanitary napkins were always just a part of life for a woman and I kind of felt like it was just something that was always there. I never had any problems getting a hold of them and if I ever ran out then I could just run to the closest convenience store to buy more. That was definitely not the case in the Tokugawa era. Disposable sanitary napkins did not exist in this time period and to make matters worse, women could not buy the contraption used during their periods to during this era. The strange contraption used to catch the period had to be handmade by oneself. This contraption, the uma, was a belt with a strip of cloth that was tied to the front and the back of the belt to create this weird T-shape underwear-looking thing.[1] Yes, the uma did its job of catching the woman's period, but it did not do the best job. After wearing an uma for the first time, I swore that I would never complain about modern sanitary napkins ever again.

The uma leaked a lot if not enough cloth was used, so hence, normal to heavy movement was very limited during a woman's period. While modern sanitary napkins were made with super absorbent materials, the uma was basically just a strip of spare cotton cloth. Women were to sit calmly in their rooms or in isolation when their periods arrived to prevent a bloody mess from leaking everywhere, something I had a problem with. It was messy, uncomfortable, had to be changed very often, and not made to be thrown away after one use, which I found kind of annoying. After use, the uma was to be washed so it could be worn again and while I was sure that it was great for the environment, it was time consuming to get all the stains out without a washing machine.

"Well why not just make something that resembled a modern day, disposable, sanitary napkin?" many would probably ask. I did think about that at one point, but I would think that having no modern day panties to wear would make it a bit hard if not impossible to do so. Women do not wear panties in the Tokugawa era, as strange as it may be. Sure there was underwear, but underwear, or otherwise known as fundoshi, were reserved for men and not women. Women had the koshimaki, which was essentially an open ended skirt. Yeah… I couldn't see myself wearing a sanitary napkin while wearing a koshimaki, there was nothing to place the sanitary napkin on. Plus, buying more fabric to create disposable sanitary napkins was such a big waste when the materials they were made from were reusable.

"Then what about a tampon?" people would ask next. Well, I didn't know how to make a tampon because I had never worn one before and also after hearing about so many cases of toxic shock syndrome at the hospital where I once worked in my past life, I wasn't going to be willing to try.

I sighed tiredly while looking into the tub of water I dropped three of my dirty uma into before sticking my hands into the tub to begin to scrub them clean. The seventh week after my miscarriage, my period finally came, indicating that my body had recovered from the miscarriage and was once again ready and able to bear a baby. Unfortunately, my fractured ribs needed more time to heal than my uterus and my ribs would probably need another three weeks to fully heal.

I winced as a small twinge of pain shot up my ribcage as I scrubbed at the dirty article of clothing. I would have like to have asked someone else to wash my uma for me while my ribs recovered, but an used uma was never something you would ask someone else to help wash.

"Shizuka, I thought I told you to call me if you needed help. Your ribs are still healing…" Souji started when he approached me from behind, but his voice drifted off as he looked into the tub of water. He raised an eyebrow at me as he silently questioned why the water was murky with blood.

"My menstrual cycle finally started again with my flow just ending yesterday night." I answered dryly before I bent back down to continue scrubbing at the uma. "And even though you told me to call you if I needed help, I didn't exactly think you would be up for this job, you know, with the 'menstrual blood is unclean' stigma."

Souji instantly brightened up when he heard me say that my cycle had resumed. He wrapped his arms around me from behind while I continued washing the contraptions as he placed his hand over my womb.

"So that means we can start trying again?" Souji whispered playfully into my ear as he eagerly pressed his pelvis against my back.

"Technically yes, but I would prefer not to yet." I said as I paused my scrubbing and frowned a bit. "My ribs still hurt when I move too much."

Souji let out a disappointed sigh as I felt him sag a bit behind me. After letting himself hang on to me limply from behind, Souji released me from his embrace before gently nudging me away from the washtub.

"Why don't you go sit down and rest for a while." Souji said gently as he pulled his tasuki out from a space in his sleeve before using it to tie back his sleeves. "You're still injured. I can take care of the rest for you."

"Are you sure…?" I asked doubtfully. Most men thought it was gross and would have cringed at having to wash those strips of cloth by hand, especially in this era where there was a stigma attached to menstrual blood.

"Sure, it's not the most pleasant job, but I can probably wash it without being in any pain." he said with his iconic sarcastic humor. "Besides, I can finish washing everything faster than you right now because of your injury. I originally came looking for you to take you leaf viewing with me. The sooner this is done the sooner we can go enjoy ourselves."

To give him credit, Souji didn't even flinch as he stuck his hands into the tub to wash my private hygienic items. I went to rinse my hands off by the well before I took a seat on the wooden roka near Souji.

"Won't Hijikata-san yell at you later for 'shirking your duties'?" I asked worriedly. I didn't want Souji to get in trouble with Hijikata-san just because he wanted to take me leaf viewing.

"No. Kondou-san was the one that suggested to Hijikata-san to give me some time off work so I could take you out somewhere, and Hijikata-san agreed immediately." Souji said as he dumped out the dirty water before refilling the tub with clean water. "Kondou-san and everyone else have been worried about you working too hard too soon after the miscarriage and wanted to make sure that I had time to take you out to relax a bit."

I smiled softly at what Souji said. So I had been worrying everyone lately and it was heartwarming to see how much everyone cared for my wellbeing. Everyone had been treating me very carefully after my miscarriage and always took the time to come check up on me while bringing treats. Just the other day, Kyoko-chan's mother, Kumiko-san, stopped by headquarters to give me a bag of konpeitō[2].

"Let's collect some chestnuts on the way back." I suggested. "I'm sure everyone would enjoy an autumn themed dinner tonight."

"Are you going to make kurigohan[3]?" Souji asked as he finished washing the last uma in the tub. "Done! You can go hang these to dry back in our room."

Souji stood up straight after he dumped the dirty water out again and walked over to where I was to hand me the tub with my three uma.

"Thank you." I chirped gratefully as I took the tub from him and pecked him on the cheek. "I'll go put these away before I go and grab a blanket and a basket for our outing today while you wash your hands, okay? I'll meet you by the front gate."

He nodded cheerfully before we both went our separate ways briefly. I went to our room first to drop off my private hygienic items and to grab a spare blanket from the closet. As I pulled the spare blanket from the closet, my eyes caught the bag of konpeitō that Kumiko-san gave me earlier. I quickly grabbed the bag of candy and stored it in my sleeve before I ran to the kitchen to grab a basket to hold the chestnuts. Souji was already waiting for me by the gates by the time I had all the items we were taking with us.

"Which spot are we going to?" I asked as Souji reached over to take the blanket for me before we began walking towards our destination.

"Arashiyama[4]." Souji said. "Right now it's one of the best spots for leaf viewing."

I helped Souji spread out the blanket on the ground when we got to our destination. I sat down first and Souji took this chance to make use of my lap. He gleefully rushed to lay his head on my lap before he relaxed when I ran my fingers through his bangs. The landscape was a beautiful array of golden colors as the leaves gently swayed in the gentle breeze. I giggled when the breeze picked up a leaf and deposited on Souji's face when he was lying down. He blew the leaf off his face with a pout before he reached up to give me a light, playful pinch on the side.

"Hey!" I squeaked as I jumped slightly from his pinch.

"Shouldn't have laughed at me then." Souji teased playfully from the ground.

"Aww, do you want me to make it up to you?" I played along.

"It depends. What are you going to offer me?"

"Well, I do happen to have some konpeitō with me right now." I said as I withdrew my hand from his hair to reach into my sleeve to pull out the bag of goodies. Souji did like his candy.

His eyes instantly sparkled as he made puppy eyes at me while he asking, "Give me some?"

I smiled shyly at him before I untied the knot holding the bag shut and popped a single green konpeitō into my mouth. Souji pouted when I stopped right there without giving him any.

"You're not going to give me any?" he whined childishly while looking disappointed.

"I never said I wouldn't" I answered coyly after I pushed the piece of candy into my cheek. "Close your eyes for me?"

Souji looked puzzled at my request but closed his eyes anyways. When I was sure he wasn't peeking, I lowered my face onto his and kissed him lightly and briefly before going for a much deeper kiss. When I licked his lower lip for permission, Souji opened his lips slightly and that's when I gently pushed the piece of candy in my mouth into his. I allowed my lips to linger on his a bit longer afterwards before slowly pulling away while softly sucking on his lower lip.

"Satisfied?" I whispered coyly as I hovered closely over him with my hand in his hair again.

Souji opened his eyes slowly after my question and stared up at me breathlessly. "Not even close." he said breathily. "I'm feeling gluttonous now."

Souji reached up for my face to pull me back down gently so he could steal another kiss. He pressed his lips against mine lightly before slowly pushing his tongue between my lips. His tongue still carried a hint of the sweetness from the piece of candy as his tongue entered my mouth. He nipped me lightly before he released me and sat up only to push me down onto my back when he crawled on top of me.

"Souji…" I said quietly as he moved his lips to my collarbone after he pushed the top of my kimono open. Wouldn't it be all too easy for someone to accidentally walk in on us?

"There's no one here because this spot is so secluded." He muttered to dispel my worries as he moved his mouth down towards my left breast. "No one will see us."

"My ribs still hurt and I'm still a bit tender from the miscarriage." I reminded him softly.

"You don't have to move. I'll do all the work." he whispered before lightly kissing the side of my breast while his hands reached down to push past my kimono and slip between my thighs. "I'll be gentle."

* * *

"Souji-nii! Shizuka-nee!" Kohaku-kun called us while we were walking back to headquarters during the evening after our pleasant afternoon together. He ran up to us with an injured black cat in his arms while his friends followed closely behind. "Look what we found!"

"A black cat." Souji said as he looked at the cat blankly.

"It looks like it got into a fight with the other cats." I said as I examined the cuts and scratches on its body.

"I want to take care of the cat until it gets better but Okaa-san and Otou-san won't let me and nobody else can either." Kohaku-kun said while hugging the cat. "Can you take care of it until it heals?"

"No, I don't like black cats." Souji said bluntly before averting his eyes to the side.

I kneeled down to Kohaku-kun's height and patted him affectionately on the head. "We can't. Hijikata-san doesn't allow pets inside headquarters." I explained gently.

"Please?" Kohaku-kun begged. "What if he dies because no one takes care of him?"

"Yeah! Please?!" the other boys chorused together. "Please, Souji? Please?"

"Oh alright." Souji yielded with a softening expression before turning to me. "Do you think you can carry the blanket and the basket of chestnuts?"

"I can." I answered as I stood up again and shifted the basket in my arms before I took the blanket from Souji so he could reach over and take the cat from Kohaku-kun. The cat wiggled restlessly and meowed loudly as soon as it was in his arms.

"He's a prissy one, isn't he?" Souji said as he tried to get the cat to sit still in his arms, but it refused to stop struggling.

"Thanks, Souji-nii!" Kohaku-kun said with a massive grin before turning back to face his friends. "I told you Souji-nii and Shizuka-nee were the best!"

"Now shouldn't all of you be running home to wash up for dinner?" I asked.

They all nodded energetically before running off. Kohaku-kun stopped before he turned the corner of the block and waved us goodbye.

"Now shouldn't we be heading back now?" Souji said with his own grin. "You need to start cooking the kurigohan for dinner, right? Mmm… I'm already looking forward to dinner."

"Let's head back home." I chirped cheerfully.

* * *

The cat, which Souji apparently named after Hijikata-san, rubbed up against my thigh as I sat at the desk working on my medical notes. Its wounds were still visible, but after a few days of quality care from me and Souji, Toshizo was healing up nicely. I rubbed his side briefly before returning my focus to my notes. Sensing that he wasn't going to get any more attention from me, Toshizo meandered back to where Souji was sitting and meowed to demand attention.

"You're so self-centered, Toshizo." Souji sighed at the cat before stroking it under the chin with his fingers. Toshizo purred happily at Souji's administrations.

"Oh? You're not going to complain about the attention I've been giving to him, like you did with Fuku?" I asked playfully as I watch Souji spoil the cat.

"Well, you still pay far more attention to me rather than to Toshizo, so I don't see a reason to." Souji replied impishly as he winked at me, causing me to stifle a giggle. That was just so…Souji-like.

Heavy footsteps from outside the room suddenly began approaching the door. Souji quickly picked up Toshizo and hid him behind his back, but Souji wasn't quick enough to make himself look unsuspicious and innocent by the time the door opened.

"Hey, Souji! You in there?" Shinpachi-san loudly called as he opened the door without asking for permission.

"Oh, it's you, Shinpachi-san." Souji said while trying his best to look innocent.

"Why?" Shinpachi-san asked with a puzzled expression. "Is it inconvenient if I just pop in?"

"Well, not that inconvenient really." Souji said while being completely unaware that Toshizo had wandered from the hiding spot behind his back and into plain view. "But what if you walked in while Shizuka was changing or on us having sex?"

Shinpachi-san scratched the back of his head with a slight blush at what Souji said. "But I would've been able to hear the both of you if you were… you know…" Shinpachi-san explained causing me to pause my writing and blush.

Toshizo wandered over to my lap while Souji and Shinpachi-san were speaking and meowed loudly to get my attention, also catching everyone else's attention by default. I picked up Toshizo and moved to sit next to Souji. No point in trying to hide the cat from Shinpachi-san anymore.

"What's this?" Shinpachi-san asked as he curiously stared at the black cat rolling around on my lap. "Is this black cat yours?"

Souji let out a sigh before he took the cat from my lap and placed on the floor in front of us. "Only until its wounds heal. The kids in the neighborhood asked me and Shizuka to." Souji explained. "I didn't feel like accepting at first, since I don't like black cats."

"You say that now, but attachment will grow with time. Anyway if it's only until the wounds heal, Hijikata-san shouldn't be too harsh on you. So the gender is…," Shinpachi-san said before picking up the cat and to check its gender, "male, huh? Did you name him?"

"Sort of." Souji said while looking away with a slight blush coloring his cheeks.

"What is it?" Shinpachi-san asked before putting the cat back on the floor. "Since he's a black cat, is it something like Kuro or Kon?"

"Toshizo." Souji answered plainly and as soon as Souji spoke, a strange and awkward silence filled the room while Shinpachi-san stared blankly at Souji as he processed his thoughts.

"Wait…wait, Souji! Of all the names, why that?" Shinpachi-san finally yelped in a rush.

"Just look at his impertinent face and his overly cautious attitude that made him fuss so much when I brought him to headquarters. Not to mention, he's so proud and self-centered. Don't these traits remind you of a certain someone? So, I can't think of any name more suitable than this, although he's much cuter than Hijikata-san."

"That's why… Look, why do you always bring trouble upon yourself?" Shinpachi-san asked rather exasperatedly before the door slid open again and another person entered the bedroom.

"Souji," Saito-san said as he stepped in the room," if you have the time to chat, why not go to the dojo and practice with the other squad members…"

"Oh my, Hajime-kun is here now too." Souji joked sarcastically before Toshizo meowed loudly at Saito-san.

"What is this?" Saito-san asked before he closed the door and sat down at the little circle we had formed around Toshizo.

"A cat." Souji answered with a slight grin. "Isn't it obvious?"

"I know." Saito-san said while giving Souji the evil eye. "Doesn't look like a dog from any angle. I'm asking why the cat is here."

"See his wounds, looks like he was injured when he was fighting with the other cats. Shizuka and I were asked to take of him until he recovers."

"This is not your house." Saito-san reprimanded Souji and I. "If you wanted to keep an animal, you should have first reported to Commander and the Vice Commander before asking for permission…" It was at that moment, Toshizo decided to meow to interrupt Saito-san and jump in his lap. "Huh?" Saito-san said while looking a bit bewildered.

"Whoa!" Shinpachi-san said with slight excitement. "The cat jumped onto Saito's lap. Maybe he likes Saito."

"Wa—Wait!" Saito-san stuttered with a small blush. "I have to give the squad members a fencing lesson now… Souji, get him off of me." he demanded.

"Just call his name and tell him to get off." Souji said with a growing mischievous grin.

"I see. What's the cat's name?"

"Toshizo." Souji said gleefully, knowing Saito-san would have issues saying Hijikata-san's first name without obtaining permission first. The room fell into another awkward silence as Saito began twitching.

Saito-san took a deep breath to compose himself before saying, "Is this another one of your bad jokes?

"That's no joke." Souji said mockingly. "Right Toshizo?" The cat meowed loudly in response to his name.

"That's not the point…" Saito-san said before sighing. "Do you want me to call the Vice Commander's name?"

"Even if you say so… the cat only responds to this name." Souji replied gleefully. "I think you better hurry, you have fencing lessons to give, right?

"To-Toshizo?" Saito-san called out hesitantly causing Toshizo to hiss at him. Saito-san immediately apologized fervently. "My—my deepest apologies! As part of the Shinsengumi I acted in such an impertinent manner as to address Vice Commander by name! This is all your fault, Souji!"

"Well, complaining to me wouldn't change anything." Souji grinned.

I giggled at Saito-san's reaction before putting him out of his misery by taking Toshizo off his lap so he could go give his fencing lessons. Saito-san quickly scrambled out of the room as soon as Toshizo was off his lap.

"That was a little mean of you." I said to Souji while scratching Toshizo's head lightly.

"I don't know what you mean." Souji said with faux innocence.

A few days later, Saito-san was back in Souji's and mine room with Toshizo in his lap. Despite Saito-san's initial reaction to Toshizo, he seemed quite taken with the cat after a few days had past. The door slid open before Shinpachi-san stepped in and closed the door again.

"Hey, Souji, Shizuka. How's Toshizo doing?" Shinpachi-san asked.

"He's on Saito-san's lap." I said while giving Souji a shoulder massage. Toshizo meowed at Shinpachi-san when he heard his name being said.

"Pretty much all cured, huh?" Shinpachi-san said as he examined the cat with a grin. "Has he been sneaking out a lot lately?"

"Yep." Souji said while leaning back into my touch. "Looks like he steals our supper when he's hungry. Gen-san gets a headache when he tries to figure out why fishes vanish so often from the kitchen."

"Surprisingly big appetite, huh Toshizo?" Shinpachi-san said as he reached over to pat Toshizo. "And he doesn't hesitate to help himself either. Last night he even snuck into my futon and rolled around like he owned it. I don't know what to do with him.

"It's your bad." Saito-san said. "You should let the Vice Commander have your bed."

Wasn't Saito-san getting the cat and Hijikata-san a bit too mixed up?

"My what?" Shinpachi-san asked bewilderedly at Saito-san's behavior. "Why should I give my sleeping space to a cat?" Upon hearing what Shinpachi-san said, Toshizo hissed. "Wha—What? Don't you hiss at me!" Shinpachi-san argued with the cat. "Don't tell me you understand what I said!"

"Do you agree with me, Vice Commander? Thank you" Saito-san asked the cat while ignoring Shinpachi-san. The cat meowed back and raised its chin. "Do you want to be rubbed on the chin? I see." Saito-san asked the cat. "How's this?" The cat meowed in approval. "Are you satisfied? It's my honor."

Okay… Saito-san was now taking this too seriously. I shot Souji a weirded out glance, but he just grinned and shrugged his shoulders at me before reaching behind to pull me into his lap.

Shinpachi-san stared at Saito-san in complete awe before saying, "Saito tamed Toshizo completely, or should I say it's the other way around?"

"It's the other way around." I said bluntly.

"By the way, you know the newborns under the house that's three houses down from here?" Souji asked. "Every one of their little faces resembles Toshizo's, and those kids at the shrine too. All his exact copies."

"So Toshizo is having children here and there? What a womanizer!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed while looking at Toshizo with an impressed expression.

We all froze when we heard some movement outside near the door. "Is someone outside?" Souji asked.

"Saito, hide Toshizo." Shinpachi-san said in a rush. "I'll distract whoever's outside."

"Understood." Saito-san said before he quickly placed Toshizo into the closet and closed the closet door before sitting back down to look completely normal. The bedroom door slid open to reveal Otou-san and his puzzled expression.

"Oh, it's you, Kondou-san. What a surprise! How may I help you? I thought you were reading in your room. Huh? Were we talking about Hijikata-san? Nah, no such thing!" Shinpachi-san gushed all at once with his crappy acting without letting Otou-san actually speak. "Aren't you mistaken? …You clearly heard about Hijikata-san's sons? You gotta be hearing things! It must be because Kondou-san has been working too hard recently! Aww, that's no good. Taking a break when needed is important. See you later!" Shinpachi-san said as he quickly placed a hand on Otou-san's back and walked him out of the room before closing the door again.

Dear Lord, that was even painful to listen to. Why did Shinpachi-san say all those unnecessary things? Maybe I should have been the one to distract Otou-san…

"Anyways, I got it covered…. I guess." Shinpachi-san said with a relieved sigh after he closed the bedroom door and came to sit down again.

"Lousy acting, as usual." Souji said looking very unimpressed. "I bet Kondou-san still suspects."

"If that's what you think, why didn't you help me?"

"No way. I don't want to lie to Kondou-san." Souji said childishly.

"Oh well, he's pretty dense. I don't think he noticed anything." Shinpachi-san replied. "Saito, you can let Toshizo out of the closet now."

"I'm very sorry, Vice Commander." Saito-san apologized to the cat. "Are you alright?" The cat meowed back before strutting to the back of the room. "You're alright. Thank goodness." Saito-san said.

"But why is this guy so popular?" Shinpachi-san asked to go back to what Souji was saying before we were interrupted. "He's uncongenial and grumpy. That shouldn't make him likable for cats or for people. Is it because he looks like he's good at fighting?"

"It's natural to respect the strong ones." Saito-san answered while watching Toshizo stretch in the back of the room. "It's the same for humans or animals."

"Maybe that's the case." Souji agreed with Saito-san. "For example, women are attracted to strong ones such as Hijikata-san and Sano-san."

"Hey, hey, hey!" Shinpachi-san objected loudly. "Hold it! The how come no women are attracted to someone strong like me?! Isn't that unnatural?"

"How come? Now that's…" Souji drifted off as he turned to Saito-san, "right?"

"Do you really want an answer from us? Shinpachi?" Saito-san asked flatly.

"What's with that look?! I don't want your sympathy! Both of you! If there's something you want to say, say it out loud!" Shinpachi declared, feeling disgruntled by the looks both men were shooting at him.

Souji looked down at me and grinned impishly before he answered Shinpachi-san. "Now, Shinpachi-san is handsome enough below the neck. There's no need for us to tell you if you're attractive or not. Japan is big enough. Some day you will find a woman weird enough to appreciate your charm."

"Aw, don't be so mean." I said to Souji with a small smile before turning to Shinpachi-san. "Women don't know what they're missing out on, Shinpachi-san. You'll find someone one day."

Before Shinpachi-san had a chance to retort, the bedroom door slammed open. Hijikata-san stood in the doorway and glared furiously at everyone in the room, but especially at Souji.

"Souji! Shinpachi! Saito! What lies have you been telling Kondou-san?!" Hijikata-san roared. "Shizuka! Why didn't you stop them?!"

Well, because they were talking about a cat and not actually him.

"Whoa!" Shinpachi-san jumped in surprise and panic. "Hijikata-san!"

"The uncute Toshizo is here." Souji said flatly with a pout as he rested his chin on my shoulder and squeezed my waist lightly.

"Excuse me for not being cute!" Hijikata-san growled at Souji. "And I didn't give you permission to call me by my first name! That aside, what is going on? You three have been saying that I've been stealing food, sneaking into other people's futons, having children here and there, and other unfound rumors?"

"No!" Shinpachi-san quickly jumped to defend himself. "That's… umm… Did Kondou-san say something?"

"Not just 'say something'!" Hijikata-san raged again. "He said, 'I can turn a blind eye to the food part, but not to sneaking into other people's futons or having children outside and then forgetting about them. You must pay a formal visit to their families later on.' Do you know how much effort it took me to clear this misunderstanding?"

Souji laughed so loudly at what Hijikata-san that tears started to appear in his eyes. "Hahaha! You tried so hard to explain, and he doesn't believe you? Looks like your past records weren't too good!"

"Shut it!" Hijikata-san barked. "You three, do you have a grudge so deep that you must spread rumors like this? Shizuka, why didn't you straighten them out? I wouldn't put it pass Souji to spread these types of rumors about me. But Saito, Shinpachi, don't you have the ability to distinguish what's right and what's wrong? What the hell was your purpose for participating in creating these rumors? Explain right now!"

"No… That's…" Saito-san stuttered in a panic.

"Now… now where should I start?" Shinpachi-san said with strained good-natured grin to try to dissipate Hijikata-san's rage. "There's a veeery complicated reason…"

"Meow~" Toshizo the cat, meowed to demand attention once again.

"Vice Commander! Please don't raise your voice!" Saito-san said to hush the cat to try Hijikata-san from noticing the cat in the back of the room.

"What are you talking about? Aren't you the ones causing the commotion?" Hijikata-san asked while looking confused before his brow pinched together. Then he heard another meowing sound. "Huh? What's that? I thought I just heard a cat."

"Meow~" Toshizo the cat meowed again before approaching were everyone was in the room.

"Whoa! Hey, Toshizo! Don't come this way!" Shinpachi-san waved his hands in front of him, as if he believed he could get the cat from coming any closer.

"Meow~" the cat meowed as stopped where it was and sat on the floor while watching all of us.

"Toshizo, we're being reprimanded by the uncute Toshizo right now, so can you stay there for a moment?" Souji asked.

"Hold on, Souji… What's with this guy?" Hijikata-san asked while gesturing to the cat.

"What? Not just your personality, but your eyes have been corrupted as well?" Souji said as he took another jab at Hijikata-san. "As you can see, it's a black cat."

"I know a cat when I see one!" Hijikata-san's temper flared again before a light bulb turned on in his head as he put together all the previous clues. "…Wait, the 'Toshizo' that steals food and has children here and there…"

"Of course we were talking about this cat." Souji said smugly. "Who else did you think it was?"

"Why you—! What's the meaning of naming a cat after me! Are you making a fool of me? Shizuka! You're supposed to stop him from doing these types of things!" Hijikata-san yelled before scolding me.

"You say that, but…" I drifted off.

"I'm not making a fool of you. Hijikata-san said that he likes black, right?" Souji retorted.

"Liar! You knew what my reaction would be like, so you did this on purpose!" Hijikata-san yelled back.

"How could I have such foresight?" Souji shrugged his shoulders mockingly. "I'm not like a certain someone."

Meanwhile in the background, "Vice Commander; Vice Commander, Souji, and Shizuka are discussing important matters. Please be quiet." Saito-san said to Toshizo the cat after he meowed again.

"Meow~"

"What is it, Vice Commander? Are you hungry? I'll go get you something to eat from the kitchen."

"Saito! You too!" Hijikata-san turned to yell exasperatedly at Saito-san. "Stop calling that cat 'Vice Commander'!"

"But… but I cannot address Vice Commander with anything else than Vice Commander…" Saito-san replied while feeling a bit lost.

"What do you want us to call him then?" Souji gleefully jabbed at Hijikata-san again. "Toshizo, and you're mad. Vice Commander, and you're still mad. I think you need to be less self-centered."

"Therefore, you shouldn't have named the cat after me in the first place! How would you feel if I kept a dog or a mouse named 'Souji'? Can you imagine that?"

"Eh? Did Hijikata-san name an animal after me? That's so disgusting. Please stop." Souji said before mockingly asking. "Did you talk to it like. 'Souji~, Souji~, I did this today~?'"

"I do not talk to animals! I said 'if'! IF! And if you feel disgusted, don't you think I would feel disgusted too?"

Like we expected, it turned out this way." Saito-san said to Shinpachi-san off to the side while Souji and Hijikata-san continued to argue.

Shinpachi-san sighed, "I don't understand if these two like or hate each other. In the end Hijikata-san's argument dropped to Souji's level. Maybe he'll actually name an animal 'Souji' someday."

* * *

[1] Finley, Harry. "Instructions for making Japanese washable menstrual pads (early 20th century?), successors of the uma (pony or horse)." _Museum of Menstruation &amp; Woman's Health_. Ed. Harry Finley. N.p., 2000. Web. 26 May 2015.

[2] Konpeitō (金平糖, コンペイトー), also spelled kompeitō, is a Japanese sugar candy. They are often colored but unflavored.

[3] Japanese chestnut rice

[4] Arashiyama (嵐山 Storm Mountain) is a district on the western outskirts of Kyoto, Japan. It also refers to the mountain across the Ōi River, which forms a backdrop to the district. Arashiyama is a nationally-designated Historic Site and Place of Scenic Beauty.


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 50**

"Words are easy, like the wind; Faithful friends are hard to find." ― William Shakespeare

"Is that from Kyoko-chan?" Souji asked as he looked over my shoulder at the letter I was reading. The sun had set quite a while ago.

"Yes." I answered as I continued to skim through its contents. "Although, most of it just consists of her complaining how 'old fashioned' Kenji-san's grandfather is and how much she hates traveling."

As the end of the year approached, so did Kyoko-chan's wedding date. But instead of having her wedding here in Kyoto, Kyoko-chan had to travel to the village where Kenji-san's grandfather lived because of some old clan tradition rules, in order to have her wedding there. Too bad Kenji-san's grandfather was such a stickler for traditions. Kyoko-chan's wedding was to take place at the village with only blood relatives, meaning I wasn't technically allowed to be at the wedding. Kyoko-chan wasn't too fond of the traditions that Kenji-san's grandfather imposed on her, but by no means did that mean she disliked Kenji-san's grandfather. I believed her exact words about the man was, "He's a ball of fun, but stiffer than a stone slab when it comes to preserving family tradition."

"Hmm…?" Souji made a sound at my explanation. "For someone who likes to sneak out so often, I didn't take her for someone who hates to travel."

"I know, right?" I agreed as I put down the letter and hugged the hanten[1] I was wearing a bit tighter around my body.

I was never fond of the cold and Kyoto winters were far colder than winters in Edo. I was sure that it was going to start snowing tonight. Souji smiled to himself when he saw my actions and sat down behind me so he could drape himself over me to share some body heat.

"Still can't stand the cold, huh?" Souji said against my ear before looking at the two other letters on the desk. I shivered a bit before leaning back against Souji to warm up.

One letter was from Tsune-san, which updated me on how she and Tamako-chan were doing, and the other letter was still unopened, so I didn't know who it was from. I didn't even recognize the handwriting, but the letter was addressed to me. The expression on Souji's face grew dark when he focused on the handwriting on the unopened letter that was on the desk.

"Why is Ane-ue writing to you?" Souji asked with a hint of rage hidden in his voice. His relationship with his older sister, Mitsu, was rather strained and I had never even seen Souji visit her or even write to her once in the many years I had known him.

"It's from your onee-san?" I asked with surprise while I rubbed the arm that he had encircled around my waist.

"You didn't know?"

"This is the first time she's written to me. I didn't even recognize the handwriting on the letter."

"Why is she writing to you…?" Souji muttered to himself as he fell into deep thought, letting silence fill the room.

"Hey, Souji?"

"Hmm?"

"Ever since I've met you, I've never seen you write to your onee-san or have any form of communication with her." I said. Souji would always avoid talking about his oldest sister, so I didn't know much about her. "She didn't show up to our wedding either, so I've never met her either. But I do know that she does write often to Otou-san to ask about you. What exactly is your relationship with her now?"

Souji sighed at my question and hugged me closer. "She writes to me all the time, but I never answer or even read those letters. I always just burn the letters in the brazier without even opening them. I don't want to read her empty words. If she really cared about me then she wouldn't have abandoned me in the first place."

Souji was still sore over his sister leaving him. It was understandable, but I didn't realize how much Souji had come to hate his sister. I always heard everything from Souji's perspective, but I knew that his sister left Souji at Shieikan with the best intentions. It wasn't that I believed that Souji wasn't a victim, but because I believed his sister was a victim too. Sure, everything did work out for Souji in the end, but the pain of abandonment was still prevalent and was going to be something that would never fully go away. The best intentions didn't always translate into the best outcomes.

"As for why she didn't show up at the wedding, I told her not to." Souji said. "That was the only time I wrote to her."

"Oh." I said with a small voice as I stared at the letter on the desk. When I reached out to pick up the letter so I could open it and read it, Souji grabbed my wrist.

"Don't." Souji said as he made eye contact. I could still see some pain reflected in his eyes when he spoke about his sister. "I don't want her speaking to you in any way."

I nodded, but still reached out to grab the letter. However when I picked up the letter, I didn't open it but passed it off to Souji instead. Souji took the letter from my hands and threw it into the brazier that we were using to heat up the room. He let out a forlorn sigh as he watched the letter burn.

"Do you think there will ever be a time where you would willingly speak to your onee-san again?" I asked. If he said no, I wasn't going to force him to. I had been touch by this type of pain too.

"I don't know." he muttered as he continued to stare at the burning letter.

"Well if you ever decide to, just know you won't be alone. I'm here for you." I said as I lightly kissed the corner of his mouth to offer some comfort, but the effect was ruined slightly when I shivered again during the kiss. The corners of Souji's lips turned upwards as he chuckled lightly at my attempt.

"You're just too cute sometimes. Still not warm enough?" Souji asked a bit more cheerfully after my failed attempt. I shook my head vehemently before wiggling to get closer to him. "Why don't I go get a kettle of water so you can heat it on the brazier? Hot tea will warm your insides faster." Souji suggested.

"Okay." I agreed. "Can you bring some mochi back with you too? I can toast some on the brazier for us to share."

"Sure." Souji said as he untangled himself from me and left to head for the kitchen to find what he needed.

I shivered violently when a cold breeze snuck into the room before Souji shut the door again. Sure, I thought winter was beautiful because of all the snow, but I could live without the cold. I quickly moved the brazier closer to the futon before I dived in the futon and buried myself under the blankets. Souji always laughed at me whenever I did this, but it was really cold! Souji was so lucky because the cold never bothered him. Hurried footsteps from outside quickly approached the bedroom and the door opened once more as I was getting comfortable.

"Shizuka—" Souji called in a rush before pausing to raise an eyebrow at my bundled up form. I thought he had left for the kitchen to get everything, so why was he back so fast? Was something wrong? "Pretending to be a butterfly getting ready to emerge from its chrysalis?" he teased me with a wry grin.

"Oh yes, I'm the bloodsucking madrilenial butterfly that's native to Spain." I joked along with him.

"Wait, what?" he said as his face scrunched up at what I said. "There's a butterfly that drinks blood?"

"Yup, but it only drinks blood from dead animals." I said. "Either way, whether or not that specific butterfly drinks blood or not, it still doesn't like the cold, kind of like me."

Souji just merely chuckled at my response before he picked up my naginata that was leaning against the wall. "Well, you're about to feel a lot colder." he said before holding out my weapon to me so I could take it from him.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I took my naginata from his hands while I remained bundled up with the blanket the best I could.

"Well you see, as I was walking to the kitchen, I saw three rasetsu leave headquarters." Souji explained with his sarcastic humor. "And I thought, 'Ooh, it looks like Shizuka's going to enjoy running through the cold tonight.'"

"What?!" I cried as I quickly jumped out of the futon, ignoring the cold the best I could. "You should have said that earlier!"

"Come on. We need to go inform the others. I'll go tell Kondou-san and Hijikata-san." Souji said as his grin faded and he became serious again. "Go gather everyone in front of the Maekawa house and Hijikata-san will give us our orders there."

"Okay!" I answered as I sprang into action.

Souji went the opposite way to go inform Otou-san and Hijikata-san, and Sannan-san by default, while I ran to go get everyone else. I stopped by Heisuke's room to nab him first before running to Saito-san's, Sano-san's, and Shinpachi-san's room in that respective order. The Inspectors were the last people I informed before heading to the front of the Maekawa house to meet up with the others that I sent ahead. Everyone, minus the leaders, were already dressed in their uniforms and waiting in front of the Maekawa house by the time I arrived. I quickly took my place and waited for Souji to arrive with the leaders.

Hijikata-san and Sannan-san arrived with Souji shortly after I arrived. As soon as they came within talking distance, Hijikata-san instantly asked Saito-san, "What's the situation, Saito? Souji was useless."

Souji merely clutched his heart in mock-pain and laughed at what Hijikata-san said.

"Three warriors from the Corps left their quarantined location. Reports say they claimed they were going out on night rounds." Saito-san explained swiftly.

"Without approval?" Hijikata-san asked as he furrowed his brows.

Saito-san nodded. "I believe they have not gotten very far yet."

"I see." Hijikata-san said before he fell silent as he considered the options.

A calm voice then broke the respectful silence that had formed as Hijikata-san was thinking. "It's likely that they are from the group that was the first to receive the injection." Sannan-san said in a soft knowing smirk. "Something must be done quickly."

"I agree." Hijikata-san said as he made his decision. With his decision made, Hijikata-san quickly turned to face us again to give us our orders. "Sannan-san, I want you to stay and keep a close eye on our men inside the Maekawa house. Heisuke, you'll assist him."

"I understand." Sannan-san nodded acceptance immediately with a smile, but Heisuke didn't seemed to be as please with his orders.

"I'd like to go on the capture mission, too." Heisuke requested with a slight frown.

"Toudou-kun." Sannan-san said with a friendly smile despite the note of disapproval in his tone.

Heisuke sighed, but didn't mope for long. Heisuke quickly shrugged off his disappointment and then grinned. "If that's what our commander wants, then I'm on it."

Hijikata-san's lips twitch upwards slightly before he glanced over to the only Inspector available at the current time. "Yamazaki, you're on clean up."

"As ordered." Yamazaki-san answered immediately in accepting obedience.

"Hijikata-san" Sano-san then addressed Hijikata-san darkly while studying the Maekawa house. "The guys that went out... They were saying they wanted to kill people."

At Sano-san's words, Hijikata-san's mood instantly worsened as a sour look appeared on his face.

"What's the plan when we find them?" Shinpachi-san then asked. Hidden in Shinpachi-san's words was an unspoken question.

Hijikata-san made eye contact with everyone around him and kept his voice even as he address all of us at once. "They are simply on patrol." The civilians didn't need to know the Shinsengumi couldn't control their own men. "We volunteered to go out on patrol as well… Are we clear?"

"No problems here." Souji said with a careless shrug. "We can't exactly argue with your decision."

"Indeed." added Saito-san. "The commander knows what to do. His orders inspire confidence. If we follow them, we have no cause to worry."

"Do you have a damn question or not…?" Hijikata-san growled in annoyance in which caused Souji to raise his hand mockingly.

"… What happens if we find them, and they decline our polite request to return?" Souji asked with a hint of sarcasm.

"Kill them." Hijikata-san said bluntly without wasting a second. "Up to you to make the call as soon as they show signs of going against orders."

"And…the witnesses?" asked Saito-san.

"Depends on what they've seen." Hijikata-san answered immediately. "Bring them back to headquarters. They put up a fight, kill them."

"Wait!" Heisuke suddenly blurted out before he turned to glance at me with concern. "What about Shizuka-chan? Is she healed enough to go with you guys?"

"Your injuries are all healed and you're not pregnant again, right?" Hijikata-san asked me as he turned to scrutinize me.

What had happened last time still haunted Hijikata-san and shaken everyone else. Hijikata-san blamed himself for not checking to see if I was in the right condition to go help eliminate Niimi that night. If I was going to come and help search, Hijikata-san was going to make sure that I was completely healthy and not pregnant this time.

"I'm completely healthy and, to my knowledge, I'm not pregnant." I answered.

"Souji?" Hijikata-san turned to Souji to affirm my answer.

"She has a clean bill of health and she's, unfortunately, not pregnant again yet." Souji answered.

"Alright. Then Shizuka, you're coming with me." Hijikata-san said before turning to everyone else again to dismiss them.

* * *

"I feel like there's a big prize out there." Souji said with amusement as soon as Sano-san and Shinpachi-san broke off from the group to search a different part of Kyoto. "The moon is especially lovely tonight."

"… You are more forthcoming than usual." Saito-san commented on Souji's attitude in disapproval, but Souji was too excited to notice.

"Something fun's bound to happen on a night like this." Souji replied with a feral grin.

Hijikata-san growled in annoyance before barking at Souji, "Don't forget the NOT fun reason we're here. Shut your mouth and pretend you're working."

I sighed at the three men. They were especially on edge tonight. Maybe they were sensing something I couldn't sense? Deciding it would be best to split up to cover more ground, I suggest that Souji partnered up with Saito-san and that I partnered up Hijikata-san before splitting up.

"Now shouldn't we start searching too?" I asked Hijikata-san as we walked in the opposite direction of Souji and Saito-san. I was sure he was eager to get the job done. Gotta get the rasetsu off the streets before anybody got killed.

"Yes." Hijikata-san said as he started walking forward with me tagging closely behind. "So, 'unfortunately not pregnant again yet', huh?" he asked while carefully scanning the empty streets for any sign of the escapees.

"Can we not talk about this now and focus on the search?" I said as I sped up and overtook Hijikata-san as we turned the corner of the block. Hijikata-san was probably going to say that I didn't spend enough time resting my body or something like that, but considering that I was the doctor here and not him, I would know better. I really didn't want to deal with his nagging. Sure, I knew that he did mean well, but the nagging was still very off putting to listen to.

"You and Souji are already trying for another one? Isn't it a bit too soon? You should have more time to rest before trying to conceive again." Hijikata-san said as he spared me a short glance.

"It's not 'too soon'." I explained. "This is just the normal functioning of a human female body. When the body is ready to be able to grow a child again then the menstrual cycle begins again and that's exactly what mine did."

Just as I finished speaking, another gust of cold wind blew through the street, causing me to freeze in place as another shiver shot through my body. And just when I thought the weather couldn't get any worst for me, it started snowing.

"Forever miserable in the cold, huh?" Hijikata-san commented nonchalantly as he walked past me. "I probably should have just left you back at headquarters. You'd be pretty useless in a fight if all you can do is shiver in the cold."

"H-Hey!" I objected as I managed to suppress my shivering again and jogged to catch up with Hijikata-san. Although, Hijikata-san was right. I was so useless in the cold that it was pathetic. I absolutely hated Kyoto winters with a vengeance.

"Gyah!"

"Yoichi! Who the hell are you!" two yells suddenly echoed through the night before being followed up with the sounds of fighting, disturbing the peacefulness from before. Well, it certainly didn't take too long for the peace to be disturbed

That came from the direction that Saito-san and Souji left in. Since both Hijikata-san and I could hear those two men that yelled, there must have been something going on nearby. Now the question would be: What would we find? Would we find the disturbance to just be some ronin getting into a fight or would it have something to do with the rasetsu that escaped from headquarters earlier?

"That came from the east." Hijikata-san said as he narrowed his eyes before taking off in a sprint and completely leaving me behind. "We need to go investigate!" he called back to me as he decided not to wait for me.

"O-Okay!" I said as I tried to keep up with him, the key word being tried. In all honesty, the cold was just making it really difficult for my limbs to coordinate with each other. I ran after Hijikata-san at my greatly reduced speed, but since I was so slow, I quickly lost sight of him. Seriously, I couldn't wait for spring to arrive.

By the time I actually caught up to Hijikata-san, I was greeted by an unpleasant sight. There were four dead men on the floor along with an unconscious boy… No, a young woman dress as a boy. Two of the dead men were the missing rasetsu and the other two were ronin, by the looks of it. As for the young woman, she must have fainted from fright because of the lack of injuries on her. If she fainted from fright then there was a chance that she saw something she wasn't supposed to see. Clean up would be more difficult this time.

"Just remove their uniforms." Hijikata-san said to Souji and Saito-san, who were kneeling on the floor and examining the bodies, with crossed arms. "We'll have the inspectors take care of the rest."

"What about this one?" Souji asked as he hovered over the only living person lying on the floor.

"Take the youngster back to headquarters." Hijikata-san said as he approached where Souji was so he could examine the young woman.

"Huh? No death sentence? That means we have a witness." Souji said, turning his head to look at Hijikata-san seriously. After he finished speaking to Hijikata-san, Souji looked past Hijikata-san and saw me slowly shuffling towards them before shooting me a wry grin. "A bit slow there? I guess we really should've just left you back at headquarters this time. Come over here."

I shuffled over to where Souji was as quickly as I could. Souji laughed at me before standing up and pulling off his light blue haori so he could wrap me up in it. It was large and hung off of me awkwardly, but it was still warm from Souji's body heat.

"So what are we going to do with that person?" I asked while pointing to the woman before sinking back into the oversize haori when another gust of wind blew by. Hijikata-san never did answer Souji on what we were going to do with her.

"We'll decide what to do when we get back." Hijikata-san said as he turned to head back to headquarters.

Souji and Saito-san looked at each other before silently nodding. Saito-san quickly pulled the blue haori off the two dead rasetsu while Souji picked up the young woman and tossed her over his shoulder, like an old potato sack, before following after Hijikata-san. I quickly shuffled over to Saito-san's side so I could take the two bloodied haori from him. The uniforms could be washed, patched up, and reused. There was no need to throw them away; the uniforms were expensive after all.

"Souji, when we get back to headquarters, tie the youngster up and leave her in one of the spare rooms." Hijikata-san ordered.

"Hmm? So Hijikata-san knew she was a woman the whole time?" Souji jabbed at Hijikata-san. "I thought Hijikata-san was completely fooled because he never referred to her gender at all."

"Of course I did!" Hijikata-san growled as we arrived back at the headquarters' gate. "Who do you take me for?! How would I not be able to tell this person is a woman when her disguise is paper thin? Are you implying that I'm an idiot?"

"I never said anything. Hijikata-san is just inferring things now. Maybe Hijikata-san mentioned that I think he's an idiot because he wants to be called an idiot?" Souji continued. I quickly laid my hand on Souji's side to get his attention and to prevent him from saying anything else. It was cold and I wanted to go inside, not stay outside in the cold and watch these two argue.

"Vice Commander." Saito-san cut in to prevent the argument from proceeding. It was a good thing that Saito-san was practical and understood that if they got into another argument then we would be here all night. "We have arrived at headquarters. Please go rest for the night and allow Souji and me to deal with the rest of the matters at hand."

"Very well." Hijikata-san answered before shooting Souji one last glare before leaving for his room.

Picking out a spare room fairly quickly, Souji brought the young woman into the room while Saito-san left to find some rope. Believing that it would be rather uncomfortable for the woman to spend the whole night on the cold floor, I went to the closet in the room and pulled out an unused futon for Souji to lay her down on before going to find an extra brazier to heat the room with. When Saito-san returned with some rope, Souji grinned mischievously at me and Saito-san before he passed her kodachi to Saito-san and proceeded to tie the woman up as tight as possible. I cringed at the tightness of the rope.

"That looks highly uncomfortable. Do you have to tie her up so tightly?" I asked Souji as I looked at the young woman concernedly. No need to treat her so harshly. She was just a person caught at the wrong place at the wrong time. Such terrible luck, but at least she didn't get killed or injured in any way.

"We've gotta make sure she doesn't escape." Souji said as he pulled the rope even tighter than before. "You'd never know if she's dangerous or not. Looks can be deceiving."

Souji did have a point. We did have to make sure she didn't escape in case she woke up in the middle of the night. And we knew nothing about her, so there was a possibility that she could be dangerous, although she didn't look like she would. Saito-san finished the job by gagging the young woman after she was tied up and pulled the blanket over her so she wouldn't freeze to death during the night.

Hmm… I would love to be under a blanket right now too…

"Well since that's done, why don't we all head to bed?" Souji said cheerfully as he practically skipped out of the room. "Hurry up, Shizuka. You're cold, right?"

Saito-san and I looked at each other before following after Souji.

* * *

"So we have a witness?" Heisuke questioned as we all gathered back in the main hall during the late afternoon. He was sitting with Sano-san and Shinpachi-san near the back of the room in a laid-back manner.

… How the hell weren't Sano-san and Shinpachi-san not cold right now? We were inside, the sun was out, and it stopped snowing, but it was still cold and they were practically sitting against the wall shirtless. I felt cold just looking at them.

"Damn, that's bad news" Sano-san said. "What are we going to do with the witness?"

"We should just kill the poor bastard." Souji said light heartedly from his seat in the middle of the room in front of Otou-san before looking to me for agreement. "Right?"

"We should confirm what she saw first. We shouldn't kill her without knowing what she saw. If she didn't see anything then we would be killing someone without a reason." I said while I was leaning against Souji. "Innocent unless proven guilty or something in the same sense."

"Hmm… Killjoy." Souji said to me with a pout before focusing up front.

Killjoy? Really, did he always have to have the last word? I sighed and sat up straight causing Souji to give me a small frown when he lost physical contact with me. But I wonder… Why was a young woman dressed in men's clothing and running around late during the night? We'd have an answer soon. Inoue-san had left a bit earlier to go bring the captive here so we could question her.

The atmosphere in the main hall shifted to become more serious as shadows fell on the door from the outside. Inoue-san, who was leading the woman by the rope that bound her hands together, slid open the door.

"Okay, go in." Inoue-san said to the young woman with a kind voice.

The young woman was staring at the floor when the door opened. She was probably too afraid to look at anyone in the room. The first thing I noticed about her was that she was short, not as short as me, but still short. Her soft brown hair was tied in a high ponytail and she looked fairly young. She was my age if not a bit younger.

"Good morning." Souji said to the young woman in a teasing manner. "Did you sleep well?"

The woman looked up from the ground let and out a small gasp of surprise when she realized that Souji was speaking to her.

"Looks like it." Souji continued. "You have marks from the tatami mats on your face."

"Huh?!" she gasped in embarrassment as she flushed red and brought her bound hands to cover her blush the best she could. Did she forget that she was on a futon?

"Stop it, Souji. This is serious." came Saito-san's stoic voice. "There are no tatami marks."

"How cruel, Hajime-kun. You didn't have to say so." Souji said without any shame.

The woman frowned at Souji's attitude before shifting her eyes to stare at me curiously. Knowing Inoue-san, he probably described all the men to the young woman but left me out of any of his descriptions. I was the Shinsengumi's main physician, but it wasn't like I was officially a part of the organization. She was probably wondering who I was and why I was here.

"You two!" Hijikata-san barked to cease all conversation. "This is no time for foolish prattle!"

"Yes sir." Souji said somewhat mockingly.

"And? That's the witness?" Heisuke asked from his section of the room. "He's all tiny and thin… Dude's just a kid, right?" And there we have our first person fooled by her disguise.

"You're in no position to call someone a kid, Heisuke!" Shinpachi-san said as he reached over to playfully ruffle Heisuke's hair.

"Got that right." Sano-san agreed with a grin. "To the world at large, you're pretty much in the same boat."

Heisuke swatted Shinpachi-san's hand away in annoyance. "Oh be quiet! You two old guys can shut it!" Heisuke said as he gave both men a peeved glare.

"What was that, young man?" Shinpachi-san continued to tease Heisuke by dropping his hand on Heisuke's head.

"I don't recall you havin' called me an 'old guy.'" Sano-san retorted with a smirk. "Shinpachi's a different story though."

"Bastard! You sellin' me out, Sano?!" Shinpachi-san complained.

"Stop it you three!" Otou-san scolded to stop the useless prattle. There were important things that needed to be done right now. "You three should be more quiet, like Shizu-chan is!"

"My apologies for all the chatter." Sannan-san said to the young woman with a kind voice while Otou-san was dealing with the Idiot Trio. "Please do not be afraid. Come, close that door and have a seat."

"Alright." she answered meekly and closed the door before taking a seat on my right side. She glanced at me curiously once again when I flashed her a quick and friendly smile.

"I am Kondou Isami, the commander of the Shinsengumi." Otou-san introduced himself. "Sannan-kun here is the deputy commander. And Toshi is… Rather, Hijikata Toshizo is vice commander."

"Kondou-san!" Hijikata-san scolded Otou-san. "Why are you telling this person all of this?!"

"I-Is that bad?" Otou-san stuttered after Hijikata-san's scolding.

"You don't go introducing yourself to someone you're about to interrogate, right?" Shinpachi-san reasoned with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Well, being earnest to a fault is just like you, Kondou-san." Sano-san commented good-naturedly.

Otou-san made a frustrated face before clearing his throat to get things moving along again. "Well, let's get down to it. First, will you tell me again about last night's events, Saito-kun?"

"Last night, in town, two Failed Warriors encountered some ronin. A swordfight ensured so we settled things. This person witnessed the encounter." Saito-san jumped into his explanation without wasting any time.

"I didn't see anything!" the woman denied in a rushed panic to defend herself, pleading that we all believed her.

"Really?" asked Heisuke.

"I didn't see!" she claimed once again, a bit more sure than before. The pattern she was speaking indicated that she was lying.

"Hmm, if so, then good." Heisuke said doubtfully at her claims.

"Huh? Souji said that you were aiding the Warriors." Shinpachi-san said. He had also noticed her speech pattern and decided to try to trick her into telling the truth. Shinpachi-san certainly thinks a lot faster than most people give him credit for.

"No! I was fleeing the ronin. That's when the Shinsengumi members appeared…" She quickly explained, walking right into Shinpachi-san's well laid trap. "So, I was the one helped."

"So that means you got a good look at the men who killed the ronin and 'helped' you." I said as I looked at her from the corner of my eye, causing her to jump in surprise when I spoke. I don't think she was expecting me to speak. When the surprise faded, she immediately froze when she realized what she had revealed. "You saw everything." I pointed out

"You've got an honest heart." Sano-san commented with an uneasy smirk. "That's not necessarily a bad thing."

"C'mon, let's just kill the kid." Souji said half-jokingly, causing the young woman fly into a panic again. "That's the best way to keep a mouth shut, right?"

"You can't!" she cried in fear.

"Don't say such things!" Otou-san instantly scolded Souji. "What do you mean by recklessly killing a civilian?!"

"Please don't make that face." Souji said as the grin he was wearing faded away from Otou-san's scolding. "I was just joking."

Nope, that wasn't a joke. Souji had actually meant what he said. It was a brutal suggestion, but true in a way. Two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead.

"Try telling a joke that actually sounds like one." Saito-san stated flatly in disapproval at what Souji had said earlier.

"Please!" the woman begged for her life as she quickly moved into a makeshift bow. "I won't breathe a word of this to anyone!"

Hijikata-san sat in his seat quietly with his eyes closed as he processed all the information that was just said. He let out a sigh before saying, "That's enough. Leave us."

Saito-san then stood up and roughly grabbed the young woman by the arms and dragged her out of the main hall and back into the room she was being kept in before.

"Please! Help me!" She pleaded as she struggled helplessly in Saito's grasp before she disappeared out the door. "I won't say anything! Please believe me!"

The room fell quiet shortly afterwards and no one spoke until Saito-san returned. I was the first one to voice what everyone was most likely thinking.

"So what do we do with that person?" I asked while knowing what Hijikata-san would most likely say. If he was just going to order the death of the young woman then he wouldn't have brought her back to headquarters. Hijikata-san was known as the Oni Vice Commander, but he was still pretty soft.

"We let the youngster live." Hijikata-san said with a sigh.

"What? We let him live?!" Shinpachi-san voiced his astonishment at Hijikata-san's decision loudly.

"Is that alright, Hijikata-san?" Sano-san asked. "The kid saw them. The Failed ones."

"Last night, we eliminated some warriors who turned their back on the code." Hijikata-san explained with closed eyes. "The youngster just happened to be there."

"Going by just that…" Sannan-san said in a somewhat friendly mock, causing Hijikata-san to open his eyes to peer at him. "Do you wish to say it?"

"That is the extent of the child's grasp on things." Hijikata-san said.

"Well, if you say so, Toshi." Otou-san said as he unsurprisingly went along with Hijikata-san's decision.

"This was your plan from the start, yes? Otherwise, you wouldn't have brought that person back to headquarters alive." Sannan-san said with a smile as he looked to me for confirmation.

Hijikata-san tsked and looked away in slight annoyance when I nodded in agreement.

"That being said, the secret will have to be protected." Sannan-san continued. "We can't simply let the child go scot-free."

"I know." Hijikata-san said as he stood up. "There are still things I have to confirm. Shizuka, come with me for a second."

I nodded and stood up to go follow Hijikata-san as he left the main hall. Why did he want me to come with him?

"I'll need you to keep a close eye on her in the future." Hijikata-san explained to me when he saw my puzzled glance on the way to the room the woman was confined in. "I don't trust her yet and she will be more comfortable around another woman, or at least comfortable enough to let her guard down. I need you to report to me…" he trailed off as he saw the young woman that was supposed to be locked down in the spare room quietly sneak out of her room and tiptoe to peek around the corner opposite of a wall.

Hijikata-san scrunched up his brow in annoyance and proceeded then to sneak up on her from behind to pluck her off the ground by grabbing the scruff of her clothing, which was something he use to do to me when he got annoyed with me when I was younger.

"You idiot." Hijikata-san said with annoyance to the young woman. "Did you think that you could escape?"

"P-Please let me go!" the woman pleaded again as I caught up to where Hijikata-san was standing.

"I said that if you ran, then I'd cut you down." Hijikata-san said as he continued to hold the young woman up by the scruff of her collar. "I believe I told you that last night."

"You'll do that even if I don't escape, right?" she cried as she started to flail around in Hijikata-san's grasp. "But, I mustn't die. There's still something I have to do!"

Hijikata-san lightly put her down while she was in the mist of her flailing. She turned around to stare back at him in shock because his unexpected action.

"If there's a reason that you'd risk your life, I want to hear the whole story." Hijikata-san said to the woman with a straight face as she continued to look at Hijikata-san surprised.

"Now shall we head back to the main hall?" I asked in a friendly tone. If she perceived me to be friendly, then there would be a more likely chance she wouldn't waste our time and lie again, like before. "I'm sure everyone would want to hear your story as well and besides, it's warmer in the main hall too. I hate being outside when it's this cold."

The young woman nodded quietly and quickly padded after me and Hijikata-san as we returned to the main hall. We all got settled in the main hall again before the young woman began to explain her side of the story.

"My name is Yukimura Chizuru." the young woman said. I quickly made eye contact with Sannan-san. She was most likely Yukimura Kodo's daughter. Her name was the one written on that scrap of paper we found in the ruins of the burnt down clinic. "It was about six months ago my chichi left Edo for Kyoto for work. He told me that he would write to me daily and that if I ever needed anything then I should contact Matsumoto-sensei, another doctor my chichi worked closely with. True to his word, my chichi sent word as he promised he would. I received letters almost every day, faster than I could reply. And yet, suddenly word from my chichi ceased, and a month passed. Matsumoto-sensei, my only hope, is currently absent. I could stand it no longer and so I traveled to the capital. However, I could not find any clues on my chichi's whereabouts. I was already at wits' end when I encountered those ronin…"

"I see…" Otou-san said sympathetically. I bet he was imagining the same situation happening to Tamako-chan and me if he were to suddenly disappear. "You came from faraway Edo to search for your missing otou-san. That must've been tough."

"That's why a young girl like you would dress up, pretending to be a man, eh?" Hijikata-san said, finally revealing the young woman's true gender to those who hadn't figured it out yet.

Otou-san nodded along what Hijikata-san was saying before he processed everything and broke out in an exaggerated surprise when what Hijikata-san was actually saying finally reached his brain.

"What?! 'Young girl'?!" Otou-san cried in surprise as he lost his composure.

"Dude, you're a girl?!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed after Otou-san.

"No way! That can't be!" followed Heisuke's shout.

I giggled at their surprise. Those three were completely fooled by her disguise, but I guess that was to be expected.

"I, Kondou Isami, committed a grave blunder!" Otou-san cried as he beat himself up internally before slapping his forehead. "I never dreamed you were a girl! Souji! Shizu-chan! Why didn't you tell me?"

"She's obviously a girl, wouldn't you say?" Souji said teasingly as I regained control over my giggles at Otou-san's reaction.

"I figured that after having two daughters yourself that you would be able to tell." I said playfully as he beat himself even more. "I guess Otou-san still has a lot to learn."

"Yeah, but still… You got no proof, right?" Shinpachi-san said as he squinted at her.

"What do you mean, 'no proof'?" she asked.

"She doesn't look feminine enough to you?" I teased Shinpachi-san.

"Why not just strip her and see?" Sano-san joked, causing the young woman to panic again.

… That joke was extremely crude and tasteless. What he said was something no woman would have wanted to hear, no matter the situation. No woman wants to be forcibly stripped in a room filled with unfamiliar men.

"Sano-san, shut up." I muttered as I gave Sano-san the evil eye in response.

"No! That is utterly forbidden!' Otou-san cried as he energetically leapt to her defense at the same time I spoke, completely drowning my words out.

"Please calm yourself." Sannan-san said calmly to Otou-san shortly afterwards.

"But this is all just…!" Otou-san stuttered.

"Oh snap." Heisuke muttered to Sano-san when he glanced back over at the woman, only to have his attention captured by the look I was giving to Sano-san. Despite having my words drowned out by Otou-san's loud response, my evil eye did not go to waste. "Looks like you got Shizuka-chan mad at you." Heisuke pointed out.

"Eh?" Sano-san said before he quickly looked over to see me glaring at him. He quickly slapped his hands together in a praying gesture and bowed his head at me in a rushed panic. "I didn't mean anything by what I said! Please don't stop cooking meals for me!"

I huffed and looked the other way. Fine. I would let it go this time, but I wasn't going to say anything to Sano-san in order to let him suffer for a while. Shinpachi-san and Heisuke both winced at my response and looked at Sano-san with pity.

"I guess you're goin' to starve for a few days." Shinpachi-san whispered back to Sano-san as Sano-san started to cry his manly tears of regret.

"You said you're Yukimura Chizuru, yes?" Sannan-san asked the woman to get the conversation moving in the right direction again. "Could your otou-san perhaps be Yukimura Kodo, practitioner of Western medicine?"

"You know my chichi?" she cried as she lean forward. Finally there was someone that may have information on the one she was looking for.

Hijikata-san's face scrunched up at the new revelation.

"You're Kodo-san's daughter?" Otou-san asked with surprise, yet again.

"Alright, how much do you know?" Hijikata-san demanded harshly. Was this young woman going to be exactly like her father? If she was, then she would be dangerous as well.

"'How much?'" she questioned in confusion.

"Don't play dumb. Not about Kodo-san." Hijikata-san demanded humorlessly.

"What are you talking about?" she asked with what I believed to be genuine confusion. "Has something happened to my chichi?"

"About a month ago, there was a fire at the clinic Kodo-san worked." Saito-san explained stoically. "He has been missing ever since."

"What?!" she cried with horror.

"The fire was suspicious and no body was found in its aftermath." Sannan-san cut in. "However, it is possible he was involved in some sort of incident."

"We're in the process of tracking Kodo-san's whereabouts ourselves." Hijikata-san added on. "If you forget all about the events of last night, you can stay under our protection until we find Kodo-san."

"Huh?" she said, surprised at Hijikata-san's generous offer.

"Don't worry!" Otou-san said cheerfully. "We're going to track down your otou-san for sure."

"Th-Thank you very much!" she quickly bowed in thanks at the unexpected offer of help.

"Good thing you didn't have to die, huh?" Souji said teasingly from his seat next to me. "For now that is."

"Uh, yes." she answered, feeling a bit lost with Souji's response.

"Well, if you're a girl, we gotta treat you more cordially, huh?" Shinpachi-san said in high spirits. Forever a sucker with girls, huh?

"Shinpat-san, you're a sucker for women, aren't ya?" Heisuke commented. "But this change of heart is way too fast."

"Where's the harm?" Sano-san asked. "If this'll add a little glamour to headquarters, Shinpachi won't be the only one whoopin' it up, I bet."

"Still, as we are warriors, handling her will be difficult." Sannan-san voiced. "We must now give some thought as how to treat her."

"Then, we should make her somebody's servant, right?" Hijikata-san suggested. "Kondou-san's or Sannan-san's or even Shizuka's. Shizuka could use more help with the chores around the headquarters."

"No way, Hijikata-san." Souji stepped in to mess with Hijikata-san some more. "As the man with the idea, the responsibility should fall to you."

"Yeah, she'll be safe by your side, Toshi." Otou-san agreed whole-heartedly with a hint of laughter in his voice.

"It's decided, Hijikata-kun." Sannan-san smiled as he gleefully threw Hijikata-san to the wolves. "Do your best to take care of her, won't you?"

"That's our Vice Commander all right!" Sano-san jumped in to tease Hijikata-san. "So reliable, aren't you?"

"Alright! Thank goodness for that." Shinpachi-san joined in.

"Y-You bastards…" Hijikata-san growled as he glared at everyone causing Souji to laugh.

"I said something good, didn't I? Souji said as Heisuke joined in by laughing at Hijikata-san's misfortune.

* * *

"What do you think?" Hijikata-san asked me, Souji, and Saito-san a bit later on in his room while he completed some work on his documents.

"About? The girl?" Souji said from his spot against the wall.

"Yeah."

"She's cute, right? I don't dislike that."

… I had never heard Souji call any other woman, other than me, cute before. I sulked quietly in my seat at what Souji had said. Yeah, it was probably quite a bit immature to feel jealous just because Souji called another woman cute, but Souji never really complemented another woman in my presence before. Was it wrong for me to not want to share? True, it was the norm for men in Tokugawa Japan to have more than one intimate relationship, but Souji never paid any attention to any other women besides me.

"I'm not talking about that." Hijikata-san said as he continued to work without a pause. "She came to the capital looking for Kodo-san and that very day, she was attacked by our enemies… Isn't it too much for simple coincidence?"

"Are you saying she let them attack her to investigate us?" Saito-san asked.

"Impossible, I don't think she could come up with an act like that." Souji disagreed.

"Anyways, we'll have Shizuka befriend her to investigate her more thoroughly." Hijikata-san said. "Are you alright with that Shizuka?"

"I'm going to go cook dinner now." I huffed as I stood up and opened the door before shivering when a gust of cold wind hit my face. I was still a tad bit upset over what Souji had said and needed to cool my head before I did something stupid. It was immature, but I didn't really care at the moment.

"Shizuka?" Souji called after me as I left the room. "Damn it." he muttered before he ran after me. "Shizuka! Wait for me!"

* * *

[1] Hanten (袢纏; also 半纏, 半天, or 袢天), a short winter coat, is an item of traditional Japanese clothing. The coat started to be worn, especially by the common people, in the 18th century during the Edo period. The shape of the hanten bears a resemblance to the haori and is worn by both males and females. The facing and lining are padded with thick layer of wadded cotton for warmth. The collar is usually made of black sateen. Hanten often display a family crest or other designs.


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 51**

"To avoid surprises later, spend enough time to know people initially. Don't just ask the obvious. Go the extra mile... Be creative and unconventional..." ― Assegid Habtewold, _The 9 Cardinal Building Blocks: For Continued Success in Leadership_

"Mmm… Breakfast smells good as usual." Otou-san said when he popped his head into the kitchen as I was preparing the tamagoyaki, the Japanese omelet that was created by rolling together several cooked layers of egg.

Quickly finishing rolling the last tamagoyaki up, I pulled the rolled up egg out of the pan and placed it on the cutting board before turning around to offer Otou-san a polite morning greeting. "Good morning, Otou-san!" I chirped cheerfully.

"Ah, good morning, Shizu-chan!" Otou-san greeted me back energetically before stepping into the kitchen to see what I was preparing for breakfast. "You're cheerful this morning. Did you rest well?"

"Yes, I did." I answered with a nod before I turned back around and began cutting the tamagoyaki into more manageable bite-size pieces. Ouch, the one I just removed in the pan was still too hot to handle. I should probably wait a bit before trying to handle it again. "What is it that you want to ask me to do?"

"Eh?" Otou-san said as he looked at me with surprise. "How do you always know when I need you to do something?"

"You always twiddle your pinkie on your right hand right before you ask me to do anything." I pointed out helpfully.

"Really?" Otou-san asked as he quickly raised his right hand to observe it. "Is that bad?"

"Well… Maybe sometimes?" I said unsurely. There were probably ways that it could be used against him, but it's not like anyone else besides me knew about Otou-san's little tic. "Although, it's probably better to get that under control. So what do you want me to do?" I asked.

"Oh, right!" Otou-san exclaimed before he got back on topic. "Well, you see, I'm worried about Yukimura-kun…"

"Why is that?"

"She came to Kyoto to look for her missing otou-san, but she stumbles onto our escaped rasetsu she's force to stay in a house full of men that are practically strangers!" Otou-san cried as he pulled on his hair while becoming more passionate and distressed with each spoken word. "What if that was you or Tama-chan? No, no, no… It's too difficult for me to even imagine that!"

"Calm down and breathe a bit before continuing." I suggested calmly to Otou-san as I reached over to touch his arm. He was red-faced and beginning to look like he was constipated. "I understand that you believe that she is having a difficult time, but you have yet to tell me what you want me to do."

"R-Right!" Otou-san cleared his throat before steering the conversation back on topic. "I believe that Yukimura-kun would feel more comfortable in the company of another young woman around her age. So I'm asking you if you could possibly go sit and eat breakfast with her so she doesn't feel so alone."

That's just like Otou-san to be overly considerate of other people, especially young ladies in distress, but I could understand where he was coming from. Otou-san was... Well, a father with two daughters. He could sympathize with Chizuru's situation because of this. However, Chizuru was still a mystery to everyone right now and we didn't know if she could be trusted, if she was anything like her father. But there was also a chance she knew absolutely nothing and was really just innocently looking for her missing father. It would be disastrous and against all morals if we mistreated her if she was completely innocent. There would be no need to mistreat her just because we didn't know anything about her.

"Alright." I nodded in agreement to Otou-san's suggestion. I could also use this chance to evaluate her for myself to see if she was a threat to all of us or not.

"Great!" Otou-san said happily as he picked up a piece of spinach from the hourensou no gomaae[1] I prepared and stuck it in his mouth. "Try to make friends with her, alright?"

"Okay." I answered as I began loading up the trays with the morning dishes. "Can you help me take the food to the main hall? As soon as that's done I can go to where Chizuru-chan is and eat with her."

"Yes, yes." Otou-san nodded in approval at my amicable attitude and quickly made short work of everything that had to be done so I could go provide Chizuru with some company.

Within a matter of minutes, all the food was properly divided and arranged on the tray. Otou-san stacked my tray on top of another tray of food before sending me off to relieve whoever was in charge of watching the young woman and so that I could eat breakfast with her. When I approached the room Chizuru was in, Heisuke was standing outside on watch duty. When Heisuke saw me approaching he ran towards me with a grin.

"It's time to eat?" Heisuke asked as he happily reached for one of the trays I was carrying.

"Yup!" I answered as I pulled the food away from his reaching hands. "But this tray of food isn't for you. Go eat with the others. I'll watch her now."

"Huh?" Heisuke asked. "I thought I was on watch duty until after breakfast?"

"You were, but Otou-san wanted me to go eat with her because he thought she might feel more comfortable eating with another woman around her age." I explained.

"Oh, I see." Heisuke said as he thought about what I said. "Alright! Let me get the door for you before I leave." Heisuke said before walking to the door of the room with me closely following behind. "Chizuru, breakfast is here! I'm opening the door." he called through the closed door.

"Al-Alright!" a feminine nervous voice called back in response.

Heisuke smiled at me and opened the door to let me in the room. The young woman was sitting in the back corner of the room, looking extremely nervous and a tad bit fearful. I gave her a friendly smile before addressing Heisuke again.

"Thank you for your help." I said to Heisuke. "Could you close the door behind me? Oh, I would suggest you also hurry to the main hall. I bet Shinpachi-san is right about to help himself to your breakfast right about now."

"My food!" Heisuke cried in a panic before he quickly closed the door behind me and dashed off to go save his breakfast from the clutches of the bottomless pit we call Shinpachi-san's stomach.

"Umm…" the young woman said tentatively after Heisuke ran off, attracting my attention once again.

I smiled at her once more before setting the table trays on the ground. "I brought breakfast." I said kindly. "You can come closer, you know. I won't bite."

"R-Right!" she exclaimed before quickly scrambling forward to sit at the tray I set down on the ground.

Damn, her personality was pretty cute. I guess I couldn't really fault Souji for saying she was cute last night. Even I was admitting that she was cute.

I snapped back into reality when I felt her curious stare on me. "Umm… who are you…?" she asked.

"Oh, that's right. I haven't introduced myself to you yet." I smiled at her again. "My name is Okita Shizuka. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Okita?" she mumbled to herself quietly as she processed my last name. "She has the same surname as Okita-san… Maybe they're related…? But they don't look alike…"

"That's because he's my husband." I said to get her to focus again.

"Ah!" she cried as she flushed and slapped her hands over her mouth. "I didn't mean to say that out loud! I—I mean, Okita-san just doesn't seem like he's the type to get married!"

"That's alright. I know you didn't say that to offend me." I smiled good-naturedly at her. I did understand where she was coming from. If I hadn't known Souji for so long and so well then I wouldn't have believed he would be the marrying type either.

"Oh! My name is Yukimura Chizuru!" she quickly introduced herself with a bow, but she quickly stopped her bow short when she realized that she would have smashed her head into the tray if she continued. "It's a pleasure to meet you too, Okita-san!"

"There's no need to be so formal with me. We're both women living in a house full of men, right? You can go ahead and call me by my first name. Besides, if you call me by the same name as my husband, then you're bound to get us both mixed up." I said. There was no better way to investigate her than gaining her trust. Having her call me by my first name was a sign of friendliness that would make her let her guard down.

"Then, is Shizuka-chan okay?"

"Yup. And I'll call you Chizuru-chan. Okay?"

"Okay." Chizuru-chan nodded as she tentatively returned my smile.

I nodded in approval before gesturing to the food I placed in front of her. "Go ahead and help yourself. I hope my cooking is to your liking."

"Right!" she said cheerfully before digging into her food with gusto. She must have been hungry, but I guess that was to be expected. She hasn't eaten anything since she was brought to headquarters. Who knows how long ago was the last time she actually ate? I began eating my breakfast after she took her second bite of rice.

"So," I said in between bites, "let's get to know each other a bit more. It'll be much more exciting now that there's another woman besides me living here. Why don't we take turns asking each other questions? You can go first."

"Hmm…" she said with a giant pause before asking, "How did you and Okita-san meet?"

Oh? So she was curious. She was also probably wondering how I came to marry Souji too. After all, Souji was not someone outsiders could really understand without spending time to know him better.

"He came to live at my chichi's dojo when he was nine. That's when we met." I answered as she stared at me in wide-eyed wonder. "Now it's my turn to ask a question. Now what should I ask…? Oh, I know. Did you ever help your otou-san with his work? Like with research or with patients?"

Now that I offered up a bit of myself up to her, her natural response would be to honestly reveal part of herself to me. I wanted to know if her father told her about the Water of Life or even had her help him with it. From what I gathered from the way she responded to me and from the events of yesterday, she was an honest person that would reciprocate the same type of treatment she received.

"Well, I would always help my chichi with the patients back at home. I would help Otou-san bandage injures on the wounded and care for the sick. But my chichi didn't seem to want me to help or look at his research…" she said honestly without a hint of a lie or hesitation. She spoke in a friendly tone and did not appear to be hiding anything. She really did not know anything about her father's extra research.

"So it's my turn again, right?" Chizuru-chan asked cheerfully. Her attitude from when I first entered the room was now different. She was no longer as afraid now that she had found someone friendly enough to connect with.

"Yup! Go ahead and ask your next question." I smiled.

"When did you and Okita-san wed?" she asked immediately.

"Well, isn't someone curious?" I teased her. She turned bright red when she realized what all the questions she was asking was touching on.

"W-Well," she stammered embarrassingly before looking down at the tray in front of her, "I've n-never been in a romantic relationship before… I want to know what it's like…"

"Oh? So there's no cute boy waiting for you back at home?" I continued to tease her.

I had gotten better at recognizing romantic love and its little bits and pieces in the past few months thanks to Souji's eagerness to educate me. He had decided to do something about my obliviousness when he realized that I couldn't tell when other men were flirting with me.

"N-No! Please stop teasing me." Chizuru-chan said as her blush became even brighter.

I laughed a bit before answering, "Alright, I'll stop. To answer your question, Souji and I got married just this past—"

"May." a voice finished my statement for me. Both Chizuru-chan and I quickly turned to the source of the interruption. Leaning against the wall near the open door, Souji grinned wryly before pushing himself off the wall and to come and settle near me. "So this was where you were." Souji said before giving me a light kiss on the lips. Chizuru-chan watched the whole scene with open curiosity.

"Did you finish eating already?" I asked as I offered him a piece of tamagoyaki by raising it with my chopsticks to his mouth. Souji took a small bite before making me eat the rest of the piece.

"Yeah, I finished. Don't share your food with me so often. You need to eat more." Souji scolded me lightly before turning to Chizuru-chan with a wry grin. "Hmm? Chizuru-chan must be quite pervy. Chizuru-chan has been watching since the kiss, maybe because Chizuru-chan was hoping to see a bit more?"

"W-What?! N-No!" Chizuru-chan squeaked as she defended herself and burned even brighter red than before.

"Well, I'd hate to disappoint." Souji said as he pretended to fake a sigh of resignation before he proceeded to pull me into his lap and plant another, longer, kiss on my lips.

The result was instantaneous. Chizuru-chan quickly slapped her hands over her eyes to prevent herself from seeing anything potentially risqué, but she moved her fingers just enough so that she could curiously peek through the gaps between her fingers. Her blush was so red now that it looked like she had a fever. Deciding that I needed to save Chizuru-chan from the extreme embarrassment before she fainted, I decided to get things back on track by shifting Souji's attention off of teasing Chizuru-chan.

"So what are you here for?" I asked. Souji was probably here for more than just finding me as his reason.

"Hijikata-san and Sannan-san want to speak to Chizuru-chan after breakfast. They've decided on Chizuru-chan's position at headquarters." Souji answered. "So better hurry up and finish eating before the Oni decides you're too slow."

Chizuru-chan quickly inhaled the rest of her food, it was better not to keep the Oni Vice Commander waiting.

* * *

"So Shi…zu…ka…" Hijikata-san said as he walked in to my little medical workspace, his voice drifting off when he wearily eyed the massive six inch needle I was fiddling with. "Do I even want to know what you're doing?"

"Maybe?" I answered as I checked over the rest of the needle. It seemed like well-made and all I needed to do was sterilize it before it would be ready for use.

Kenji-san and Kyoko-chan never failed to disappoint when it came to acquiring or producing medical equipment. Need medical needless? Got it. Need syringes? Got that too. Propofol[2], retractors, and even a manually powered suction tube? Check, check, and check. It was amazing how much access those two had to the raw materials needed to create these tools. Too bad technology wasn't advanced enough to create something like a cardiopulmonary bypass pump[3] because if it was, then I would most likely have that too. Kenji-san and Kyoko-chan were both such amazing people with amazing connections and could procure even the strangest items. I bet that if I even asked for something as ridiculous as a pet giraffe, they would be able to obtain it for me. However, it wasn't like everything they got for me was totally free. The tradeoff was that if they continued to obtain and manufacture medical equipment for me I would treat anyone they brought to me that needed medical treatment for free. I believed it was a fair trade and advantageous to both sides.

"So do want my report on my investigations into Yukimura Chizuru?" I questioned as I put down the needle when Hijikata-san continued to stare at the long needle.

"Yeah, I want to know what you think of her before Sannan-san and I leave for Osaka." Hijikata-san said before asking, "You're not going to be doing weird experiments with all your strange equipment, right?"

Strange experiments? Who did he take me for? Dr. Frankenstein from Mary Shelley's novel? I hope not. If he did, then that meant that I needed to examine my track record a bit and reflect on it.

"No, I'm not going to be doing any 'weird experiments'." I said with annoyance. "As for Yukimura Chizuru… She really doesn't know anything about what her otou-san has been working on despite helping him on occasion with treating patients back in Edo. I truly do believe she was telling me the truth when I asked her about her otou-san. She's the type that's too honest to lie. We already said that the Shinsengumi would help her find her otou-san and that we would kill her if she found out too much. She wouldn't do anything or tell a lie that would jeopardize her position with us."

"So I see…" he said thoughtfully as he placed his hand on his chin. "Continue watching her while Sannan-san and I are in Osaka and write your reports and mail them to me daily."

"Alright, but what job are you going to give to Chizuru-chan while you're gone?" Surely Hijikata-san wasn't just going to have her sit in her room, right? It would be a waste of resources if Chizuru-chan was going to spend her whole time locked up in her room. It would be better if she was given a job to work on while Hijikata-san was gone.

"She's just going to stay in her room. That's it." Hijikata-san said stubbornly.

"You're aware that doing that would be a waste of resources, right?" I asked him disbelievingly with my hands on my hips. "We're giving her a place to stay and food to eat and you don't want her to do any work? At least give her something to do while you're gone."

"No. All the captains will be too busy with their duties to watch her and we can't spare any of the men to watch her because of her disguise."

"Then pass her off to me for the time being."

"You?"

"Yeah. I can watch her and she could help me around the headquarters with chores. Also, Chizuru-chan does have some experience looking after patients. With Yamazaki-san gone on assignment, I could use another assistant." I explained. "Plus, I like her. She's honest and really sweet."

Hijikata-san stared at me like I had suggested something absolutely absurd, or it may have actually been just the "I like her" part. He looked as if he was about to argue with my suggestion but just let out a sigh towards the end.

"Fine, fine. Do what you want. Just make sure you don't take your eyes off of her." Hijikata-san said. "I need to go now; Sannan-san is waiting for me by the gate. Stay out of trouble."

"Okay." I said as I passed him a bento I prepared for him and Sannan-san earlier. "This is something for you and Sannan-san to snack on during the trip."

"Oh, thanks."

"Be careful while you're away. I don't want to see you or Sannan-san come back injured."

"Got it." Hijikata-san said before he left to go meet Sannan-san by the front gates. Both of them had to go to Osaka to deal with a few ronin that had been causing trouble and they would be gone for a few weeks.

* * *

"Chizuru-chan~" I cheerfully called through her door on the second morning after Hijikata-san and Sannan-san had left. Sano-san, who was on guard, waved his morning greeting at me. "Do you feel up for doing something else besides sitting in your room all day?" I asked her.

"Eh? Shizuka-chan?" Chizuru-chan said curiously as she opened her window to peek out.

"It's quite boring just sitting in your room with nothing to do, right?" I said cheerfully. "So wanna help me do the laundry. I can bring you grocery shopping with me later on, so you can ask the civilians then if anyone of them has seen your otou-san."

"Really?!" she exclaimed as she immediately perked up hopefully. In the past three weeks she has been at headquarters, she hasn't been allowed to leave her room, let alone, go outside to search for her father. She was such a nice and sweet person and I thought that she at least deserved a chance to get out to search for her father personally.

"Wait a sec." Sano-san cut in, making both of us turn to him. "I believe Hijikata-san did give you permission to allow Chizuru to help you with chores, but he also gave all the captains instructions not to let Chizuru out of headquarters. We don't have enough men to protect her if anything should happen. Plus, you can't guarantee that she won't run after she's outside."

"What? You don't think I can handle taking her out?" I asked with annoyance.

Did he really doubt my ability to keep track of one girl? Besides, Chizuru-chan already promised that she wouldn't run. She was truly an honest person and that was something that was rare. Plus, I could handle myself fairly well in a fight and I knew how to avoid trouble very well. Outside ronin were not going to be too much of a problem. But then again, I did understand their reasons. Too many things could go wrong.

Sano-san let out a tired sigh at my offended expression. "It's not that I don't think—"

"No, you don't have to explain. I understand where you're coming from." I sighed as I let my offended expression slide off my face. Sano-san let out a breath of relief. "Sorry Chizuru-chan, but it looks like you're not allowed to leave headquarters." I apologized.

"Oh no, that's okay." she smiled back politely as she tried to hide her disappointment. "But I can help you with the laundry since I won't have to leave headquarters for that."

"Okay then." I smiled apologetically back at her. "I'll ask around the market for you late—"

"Quit your whining. Your whining isn't going to make the situation any better." I heard Souji's voice in headquarters somewhere.

Strange. Souji was supposed to be out patrolling right now, so why was it that I could hear his voice back at headquarters?

"I'll ask, but if she says there's nothing she can do then there's nothing she can do." Souji's voice continued.

I glanced towards Sano-san with a puzzled glance before heading towards the source of Souji's voice. Dressed in his uniform and headband, Souji was standing at the front gate with a soldier that was in his squad and a civilian. The civilian appeared to be in tears with the soldier being very close to breaking out in tears. What was going on?

"Shizuka." Souji wave me over when he took his eyes off the men in front of him and saw me peering around the corner of a building at them. I quickly rushed over to Souji.

"What happened?" I asked Souji. "I thought your patrol just started, so why are you already back?"

"Well," Souji said as he gestured to the two desperate looking men, "a civilian ran up to my subordinate here during patrol. It turns out that the civilian is the brother-in-law of my little subordinate."

"And?" that couldn't be the full story, right?

"My wife's in labor and there's something wrong! She's struggling!" the civilian man wailed.

"You can help my imōto right?" the soldier, I believed his name was Fuji, begged.

"I can't give you an answer without seeing what's wrong for myself first." I said before turning to Souji. "I need to go get my surgical instruments and I need you to run to go get Chizuru-chan."

"Chizuru-chan? Why do I need to get her?" Souji shot me a puzzled look.

"I have a gut feeling that I know what's wrong. If I'm right then I'll need to perform a caesarean section and I can't do that without an assistant. Yamazaki-san is out on assignment and Sannan-san is in Osaka with Hijikata-san. From speaking with Chizuru-chan, I know she does have a least a little medical experience."

"Alright." Souji yielded as he ran off to go fetch Chizuru-chan while I went to go gather my surgical instruments. We all met up again at the front gates before the civilian man quickly rushed us all back to his house.

My first reaction to seeing the woman in labor was "wow". In some pregnancies it was hard to tell if the mother was even pregnant and with other mothers it was beyond obvious. This was the case of "beyond obvious". The woman wailed in pain once more as another contraction hit. The midwife looked on helplessly as she wiped the sweat off the distressed woman's forehead with a towel. The civilian and Fuji quickly rushed to the woman's side to offer words of comfort.

"The baby is too big." the midwife said to the husband. "They'll both die if we don't cut the baby out."

"No!" the husband rejected immediately. "There has to be another way!"

The husband was concerned for his wife. Caesarean section[4] was a terribly frightening suggestion for anyone to hear in this time period. A caesarean section usually was a last ditch effort to save the baby when the mother could not be saved. There were some mothers that did manage to survive the procedure, but the odds of that happening were incredibly narrow. In the western countries, where they did have higher medical advancements, the mortality rate of a caesarean section was 85%.[5] If women did not bleed to death from the procedure then most of them would succumb to infection

"How long has she been in labor?" I asked the midwife.

"Since yesterday. Labor started in the Hour of the Rooster." said the midwife. The Hour of the Rooster? Yesterday? It was the Hour of the Dragon in a new day now, meaning the woman had been in labor for the past fourteen hours.

"There's no choice. She has to have a caesarean section or else both she and the baby will die."

The husband and brother both sunk to the ground in terrified wails as the woman let out a sob. Chizuru-chan was horrified at my diagnosis and stifled a cry with her hands. It was a terrifying diagnosis, but I was confident that I could perform the surgery with both the woman and the baby surviving. The reason that caesarean section had become so well practice in the future was because it had become relatively safe and simple to do. Certain advancements in surgical techniques, like the creation of the Pfannenstiel incision[6], were what allowed the survival rate to shoot up in the future. If done correctly and without complications, the standard caesarean section usually only took thirty minutes.

"Chizuru-chan, can you help the woman sit up?" I asked as I pulled out my long and magnificent epidural needle. "I need to give her an epidural[7] so she won't be in pain during the procedure."

"O-Okay." Chizuru-chan said as she went to the woman's side. "Don't worry. Everything will be fine." she said as she tried to comfort the woman.

"Souji, can you get the two men to stop crying?" I asked. I was going to let them stay during the surgery to let them see everything was going to be alright, but I wouldn't be able to concentrate if I had to continuously listen to their sobbing. "If you can't get them to stop, then take them out of the room."

Souji sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Alright…but this isn't my forte…"

I quickly performed the epidural while Souji made his rather sad attempt to stop the men from sobbing. Having enough of their annoying crying, Souji slapped both men across the face to get them to stop. Needless to say, the slap worked and he got both men to stop crying. I had Chizuru-chan lay the woman back on the futon before setting up a small curtain across the woman's upper abdomen so the woman wouldn't be able to see me cutting into her.

"Alright, Chizuru-chan. We need to scrub our hands and arms completely clean before we begin the surgery." I said to Chizuru-chan. She nodded back to me while looking sick. "Don't worry so much. This surgery will definitely be a success with both the okaa-san and baby living."

"Right!" Chizuru-chan said as she steeled herself for the operation. Her determination was admirable.

* * *

And so Fuji and the civilian man started up their crying again after the operation, but at least it was tears of happiness this time. The mother and baby had both survived the operation and there were no complications. I had learned something very interesting during the surgery today. Despite it being the first time she had actually seen the inside of a human body, Chizuru-chan had done exceptionally well. There was that first initial fear of blood, but Chizuru-chan had pulled herself together quickly and proceeded to assist me very well with the surgery. In fact, Chizuru-chan had done significantly better than Yamazaki-san did with his first surgery. There was no way I was going to let this discovery of talent go to waste.

"Chizuru-chan, you did exceptionally well today despite your lack of formal training." I complemented her.

"Eh? You really think so Shizuka-chan?" Chizuru-chan said in surprise.

"Well, Shizuka wouldn't have said anything if it wasn't true." Souji said as he helped with clean up.

"Yes I do." I answered. "How would you like to receive formal training as a surgeon?"

Chizuru-chan's jaw dropped as the tray of used surgical instruments she was holding crashed to the ground. Oh darn, there was more to clean up now. I guess I should have waited until after she put down the tray.

* * *

[1] Hourensou no goma-ae (菠薐草の胡麻和え) literally translates to "spinach dressed with sesame seeds".

[2] Propofol is a short-acting, intravenously administered hypnotic/amnestic agent. Its uses include the induction and maintenance of general anesthesia, sedation for mechanically ventilated adults, and procedural sedation. Propofol is also commonly used in veterinary medicine.

[3] Cardiopulmonary bypass (CPB) is a technique that temporarily takes over the function of the heart and lungs during surgery, maintaining the circulation of blood and the oxygen content of the body. The CPB pump itself is often referred to as a heart–lung machine or "the pump". Cardiopulmonary bypass pumps are operated by perfusionists. CPB is a form of extracorporeal circulation.

[4] A Caesarean section is a surgical procedure in which one or more incisions are made through a mother's abdomen and uterus to deliver one or more babies. A Caesarean section is often performed when a vaginal delivery would put the baby's or mother's life or health at risk. Some are also performed upon request without a medical reason to do so.

[5] "Cesarean Section – A Brief History: Part 2". U.S. National Institutes of Health. 25 June 2009. Retrieved 2010-11-27.

[6] A Pfannenstiel incision is a type of surgical incision that allows access to the abdomen. Because the exposure is limited this incision should be used only when surgery is planned on the pelvic organs. The Pfannenstiel incision offers large view of central pelvis but limits exposure to the lateral pelvis and upper abdomen, factors that limit the usefulness of this incision for gynecologic cancer surgery. The surgeon cuts on a generally horizontal (slightly curved) line just above the pubic symphysis. This incision is commonly called the "bikini line incision". Some common reasons for this surgical access are obstetric delivery and hernia repair. It is often used in preference to other incision types for the sake of aesthetics, because the scar will be hidden by the pubic hair. This is of great advantage for women who like to expose their lower abdomen. The incision does not distort the belly button and heals faster than the traditional vertical incision.

[7] The term epiduralis a simplified and all-inclusive term often used to refer to techniques such as epidural analgesia and epidural anaesthesia. The epidural route is frequently employed by certain physicians and nurse anaesthetists to administer diagnostic (e.g. radiocontrast agents) and therapeutic (e.g., glucocorticoids) chemical substances, as well as certain analgesic and local anaesthetic agents. Epidural techniques frequently involve injection of drugs through a catheter placed into the epidural space. The injection can result in a loss of sensation—including the sensation of pain—by blocking the transmission of signals through nerve fibers in or near the spinal cord.


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52**

"Never be so busy as not to think of others." ― Mother Teresa, _The Joy in Loving: A Guide to Daily Living_

"Shizuka, are you done preparing tonight's meal?" Saito-san asked flatly as he stepped into the kitchen. It was his turn to bring Chizuru-chan her dinner tonight.

"It's done." I answered as I systematically spooned the miso soup from the pot into the several soup bowls that currently dotted the counter. "Just let me finish dividing up the food so you can bring Chizuru-chan her dinner. No, actually, why don't I go with you when you go deliver the food? I am curious to see how much Chizuru-chan remembers from our little crash course today."

"Very well." Saito-san consented as I finished up with food placement on the trays.

On the day I performed the cesarean section with Chizuru-chan, I had seen the raw talent she had when she assisted me in performing the surgery and so I had asked Chizuru-chan if she wanted to receive formal medical training. When I asked that question, I actually wasn't expecting Chizuru-chan to actually say yes or answer right away. While I had been friendly and gone out of my way to be hyperaware of her needs, I was still a part of the party that had been keeping her captive somewhat against her will. She should have been seen me and my offer through tainted lenses and suspected some ill intent on my part, but after the initial shock of the proposition passed, she accepted whole-heartedly and with a fiery determination. What could have possibly been going through her head when and even before she accepted was a mystery. When she accepted, perhaps she thought that she could help some people in need, maybe she wanted to be useful, maybe she just wanted something to do to pass the time while she was locked in headquarters, or perhaps she just saw this as an opportunity that was too good to pass up.

With all the dishes arranged tastefully on the tray, Saito-san picked up the completed tray of food and made his way towards Chizuru-chan's room with me tagging along behind him with a small skip in my step. The other trays were completed, but I had left them in the kitchen and had not carried them out to the main hall. Either Heisuke or Sano-san would do it if I didn't. Saito-san was completely silent as he carried the tray of food to the captive's room. There honestly wasn't very much to talk about right now, but I did wonder what Saito-san thought of Chizuru-chan. I peered at him curiously from behind as I tried to decipher his thoughts. While the others were pretty vocal about how they felt about having Chizuru-chan here in headquarters, Saito-san didn't really say anything. Did he even have an opinion of her or was he just neutral?

"What is it?" Saito-san asked as he looked back at me through the corner of his eye.

"Just trying to figure out what you think of Chizuru-chan." I said. "The others have been fairly vocal about how they feel about having her here in headquarters, but you haven't said a single word regarding her."

"There's no need for me to have a personal opinion of her." he said as his eyes focused up front once more. "She is here regardless of my opinion and that fact will not change."

"But you still must have your own opinion. Whether or not if your opinion actually changes the situation, you must still have your own thoughts on the situation. So, what do you think of Chizuru-chan?"

Saito-san went silent for a moment but did answer me eventually. "She is an inconvenience to the Shinsengumi. However, I admire her courage. She traveled all the way from distant Edo to search for her otou-san when she was aware that the roads were far from safe."

I nodded silently at Saito-san's response. I agreed with his opinion. It was an inconvenience to have to constantly watch her. We all had better things to do than to watch a girl who, obviously, in my own opinion, would be true to her word and not breathe a word about what she had witnessed on the night we met her. I also did admire her courage, like Saito-san. Chizuru-chan had the guts to travel on her own to Kyoto in a time where it was all to easy to be mugged and left for dead on the road, like what Ibuki-kun had gone through before Serizawa found him. She must have really loved her father if she was willing to go on a potentially dangerous search when there was no guarantee that she would even find any clues regarding her father.

"Still, when will I be able to go look for my chichi? Maybe I'll remain locked up like this for good…" I heard Chizuru-chan mumble out loud as Saito-san and I neared her room.

As we turned the corner, Saito-san and I saw Chizuru-chan standing at the open window with Souji sitting lazily against the wall under the window. Chizuru-chan must have been talking to herself. I know she probably wouldn't be one to strike up a friendly conversation with Souji just because of the sheer amount he has been teasing her. Actually, I was pretty sure that Chizuru-chan was a bit more scared of Souji than the other guys, other than Hijikata-san, because of all the constant death threats he had been giving her. Sure, Souji was just teasing her for fun most of the time, but she didn't know that. I believe the amount of times Souji said, "I'll kill you" to Chizuru-chan was already over twenty times just in this day alone. Poor Chizuru-chan. She was probably wondering how I dealt with Souji all the time. I had already seen the curious glances she had been giving me all day and for the past few weeks. To be fair though, Souji tended to act quite differently around me and Otou-san than he did around other people.

"I'd say that's up to your conviction, wouldn't you?" Souji panned with boredom from his seated position against the wall. Chizuru-chan, who didn't notice Souji at all, jumped in surprise before glancing down to see Souji. A temple bell rang at that moment in the background, it was as if the universe was calling Chizuru-chan dumb for not noticing the man that was sitting beneath her window.

"O-Okita-san, what are you…?" Chizuru-chan cried with surprise as she jumped a bit.

"Huh? Did you not notice?" Souji asked laxly as he looked up at Chizuru-chan through the window. "Come this time of the day, I'm the one in charge of watching you."

"Does that mean you heard everything I said?" Chizuru-chan asked nervously.

"Hm?" Souji said as he smiled back at her teasingly.

At Souji's answer, Chizuru-chan shrunk behind the window slightly in embarrassment. She was probably thinking, "Oh no, he heard me speaking to myself! What sane person speaks to herself?" or something along the lines of that. Just wait until she finds out that Saito-san and I had witnessed the whole scene too.

Deciding that the conversation was not important, Saito-san said, "Tonight's dinner has been prepared. Are you about ready?" to interrupt and bring attention to himself. At the sound of Saito-san's voice, Chizuru swung her head around to the source of the voice. I smiled and waved at her quietly from behind Saito-san. Chizuru-chan's embarrassment was about to shoot up twofold.

"Saito-san! Shizuka-chan!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed in surprise when she saw us. "Um… Have you two been there the entire time?"

"Yup! We saw you speaking to yourself~" I sang, taking point from Souji to tease her a bit more while Saito-san just merely nodded silently in response. Chizuru-chan flushed red at my comment and hid herself a bit more behind the window. Souji was a bad influence on me when it came to teasing people, but it was fun. I understood why Souji spent so much time teasing people.

"Hey there." Heisuke called as he approached us from behind Saito-san and I. Souji stood up when Heisuke arrived to get ready to leap into action in case Heisuke was bringing us some important news that required immediate action. Spending all evening watching a girl that wasn't going to try to escape was not very stimulating and Souji was more than likely to be bored. "It's feedin' time." Heisuke delivered his bland news.

"I have work to do." Saito-san addressed Heisuke's call with a no nonsense tone. "You go ahead and eat."

"Hijikata-san's order was to not let our eyes off her for a moment." Souji droned, slightly disappointed at the lack of action Heisuke's arrival produced.

"Then we should just let her eat with us, right?" Heisuke suggested as he pointed to Chizuru-chan who was sticking her head out the window once more.

"Huh?" Chizuru-chan said at the suggestion.

"We were ordered not to let her leave the room." Saito-san turned down the suggestion.

"Where's the harm?" Heisuke presented his argument causing Souji to put his hand on his chin to think about Heisuke's argument. "Hijikata-san's gone off to Osaka."

"That's right." Souji agreed with a small smile of approval at Heisuke's thinking after he lowered his hand. "I'm getting bored of just watching this girl eat."

Ah, so Souji was getting bored; I'm kind of surprised that he really didn't say anything earlier. Souji walked towards Saito-san to take Chizuru-chan's tray of food before placing it in Heisuke's hands nonchalantly.

"Huh?" Heisuke said at Souji's unexpected action. "What're you givin' this to me for?"

"You're the one who brought it up." Souji reasoned before grabbing my shoulders to spin me around. "Well, let's go." he said as he placed a hand between my shoulder blades and gently pushed me back towards the direction I came from.

"Huh? Umm…" Chizuru-chan said without moving from the window.

"Hurry up, Chizuru-chan!" I called back cheerfully as I allowed Souji to push me. "It'll be more fun to eat with the others."

"R-right!" she answered as she scrambled out of her room and jogged to catch up with the rest of us. She quietly trailed behind us as we all headed towards the main hall.

* * *

"You took your time!" Sano-san commented impatiently as Souji opened the door. A loud growl from Shinpachi-san's stomach quickly followed Sano-san's comment.

"What're you guys gonna do about the growls my stomach is makin'?!" Shinpachi-san complained as he agreed with the sounds his stomach was making.

What are we going to do? That's what he had to say? Shinpachi-san shouldn't even be complaining about being hungry. Sure, he was hungry because he had to wait so long for us to arrive but at least he had food. It would be nice if Shinpachi-san actually stop complaining about matters regarding food and said, "Thank you for the meal," every once in a while. Shinpachi-san was nice and handsome enough, but it was no mystery to me why no girls really stayed long enough to engage in a romantic relationship with him. A simple "thank you" or an "I appreciate all you do for me" could really move mountains or melt a girl's heart. I'm willing to bet that if Shinpachi-san started to say "thank you" every once in a while then girls would start flocking to him every single time he goes to Shimabara.

"We're going to do nothing." I clipped. "You can just sit there and starve if you're going to complain."

"Wha—?" Shinpachi-san said, puzzled at my response while Sano-san merely sighed and shook his head at Shinpachi-san.

"You should really think before you open your mouth sometimes." Sano-san advised Shinpachi-san.

I arched my eyebrow at Shinpachi-san as a silent gesture to tell him to think about what he had just said before I allowed Souji to lead me to my seat. Everyone else followed us in from behind in a neat single file line.

"I'm sorry." Chizuru-chan apologized with a small bow the moment she entered the main hall. "It's my fault."

"What is she doin' here?" Sano-san asked curiously when he spotted Chizuru-chan.

"What," Heisuke defended as he entered the room last with Chizuru-chan's tray of food, "she's not allowed?!"

"Nah, it ain't it." Shinpachi-san said cheerfully with a grin, happy to be able to eat with another girl. "Food tastes better when everyone eats it together."

"Look, quit just standin' there." Sano-san said kindly as he pick up his food and scooted to his left to make room for Chizuru-chan. "Have a seat."

"My apologies." Chizuru-chan bowed again as Heisuke stepped forward to place the tray down at the vacant seat.

"Okay, here." said Heisuke as he placed the tray on the floor and stood back up again.

"Thank you very much Toudou-san." Chizuru-chan said.

"Yeah. But enough of the 'Toudou-san'." Heisuke said. "Everyone calls me Heisuke, so I'm fine with that."

"But…" Chizuru-chan objected shyly as she looked down. She was probably thinking that it was a bit inappropriate to call Heisuke by his first name since they weren't all that close.

"It looks like we're about the same age, so it's better, anyways." said Heisuke. "And I'll just call you Chizuru."

"So, Heisuke-kun, then." she said with a shy smile as she looked back up again.

"Yeah. That's good." Heisuke said kindly with a smile. "Okay, Chizuru, nice to 'meet' you again."

"Yes." Chizuru-chan said with a bit more confidence, causing both Sano-san and Shinpachi-san to smile at each other. She went ahead and closed the door before walking to her seat between Sano-san and Shinpachi-san.

"Itadakimasu." Saito-san said as he held his chopsticks between his thumbs and index fingers while his hands were clapped together, as if he was praying, before he dug into tonight's dinner. Souji, on the other hand, decided to go for the unhealthier option and reached for the saké instead of food first.

"Souji." I scolded him gently as I frowned in disapproval.

Souji pouted like a child in return before placing the saké on his tray and turned his focus onto the healthier option of the food on his tray. I wasn't against drinking alcohol, but Souji had a tendency to ignore food in favor of drinking more and his body needed nutrients from food rather than what alcohol had to offer.

"I'll finish my food first." Souji mumbled in a cowed tone. He immediately smiled again when I gave him a gentle smile and pecked him lightly on the cheek.

"You don't have to finish all of your food first." I said as I placed a slice of takuan[1] from my plate into his bowl. I didn't have too much of an appetite right now because I was feeling a bit queasy. "I just don't want you to ignore food in favor of drinking a bit more."

Souji nodded before he went ahead and ate the takuan I placed in his bowl before taking a bite of rice.

"Still, tonight's dinner looks a little stingy, as always." Shinpachi-san voiced as everyone started to dig in to their food, revealing that he clearly did not think about what he said wrong earlier. Well, at least I tried to get him to think about his words a bit more. But seriously, Shinpachi-san absolutely had to start thinking about what came out of his mouth if he wanted a chance to attract more girls. "And therefore…" Shinpachi-san said with a sly grin before reaching out and taking a chunk out of Heisuke's fish.

"Hey, Shinpat-san!" Heisuke objected unhappily to the sudden theft. "Why do you always go after MY food?"

Shinpachi-san laughed merrily, "It's all about body size. Guys with bigger bodies need more to eat!"

"Well, I'm still a growing boy, so I gotta eat more!" Heisuke retorted before reaching over to try and steal Shinpachi-san's fish, but missed.

"Too slow!" Shinpachi-san declared as he picked up the whole fish on his tray before Heisuke reached it and ate half of it in one bite. Poor Heisuke, but I have to admit that Shinpachi-san had an impressive mouth size.

"You're eatin' it as-is?!" exclaimed Heisuke. "At least spit out the bones! That's disgusting."

"Want this?" Shinpachi-san mocked Heisuke as he held up the remaining tail of the fish.

"No, I don't!" Heisuke yelled back at Shinpachi-san as Sano-san struck up a small conversation with Chizuru-chan off to the side.

"Why don't ya eat it?" Shinpachi-san continued to goad Heisuke mockingly.

"I said I don't need it! Shizuka-chan, make Shinpat-san stop!"

"Oi! That's not very manly of you! You can't tell on me!" They were acting like young children…

"Yes I can! Shizuka-chan!" Heisuke yelled again while flailing around cutely like a child trying to get his mother's attention.

"Shinpachi-san, leave Heisuke alone." I reprimanded Shinpachi-san calmly without bothering to stop eating while scolding Shinpachi-san.

"Wait, that's it?" Heisuke complained at my lack of a reaction.

"HAHA!" Shinpachi-san laughed while pointing at Heisuke's face. "I win!"

Heisuke deflated while Shinpachi-san puffed himself up at his victory. So he had thought that he won, did he now? Souji grinned next me, probably knowing what I was going to do next.

"Heisuke, give me your bowl." I said as I put down my own bowl of rice.

"Huh? Okay." Heisuke handed his bowl over to me with a perplexed look on his face. I took the bowl from Heisuke and placed half of my fish in his bowl before I handed it back to him. I figured something like this was going to happen again during dinner.

"Wah! Shizuka-chan's the best!" Heisuke exclaimed with starry eyes as he took his bowl back from me.

"What?! That's not fair!" Shinpachi-san complained.

"It totally is!" Heisuke said as he munched on his newly given food. "Shizuka-chan is just giving me food to make up for what you stole from me earlier."

"That was less than a bite!" Shinpachi-san claimed before turning to me with puppy eyes. "If you gave Heisuke some, can I have some?"

"Hmm?" Souji cut in gleefully. "I think you would have to ask me, Shinpachi-san. You see, that part of the fish is always what Shizuka gives to me, so therefore it's mine." Souji grinned mockingly at Shinpachi-san before mimicking what Shinpachi-san did before and ate the rest of my fish in one bite.

"No way…" Shinpachi-san deflated disappointedly.

"Maybe next time." I teased. That was pretty mean, but it was fun. I'll have a treat for Shinpachi-san next time to make up for my teasing.

The door opened behind where Saito-san, Souji, and I were sitting and attracted everyone's attention. It was Inoue-san, but he wasn't his normal happy self. Inoue-san had a look of dread and concern on his face as he held an opened letter in his hand.

"Can I have a minute, everyone?" Inoue-san asked. "We received a message from Hijikata-san, who is in Osaka. It seems that, in the course of his duties, Sannan-san incurred a great injury."

Everyone gasped in shock at the news. I put down everything that was in my hands and immediately sat straight with attention. How was it that Sannan-san got injured? Sannan-san was smarter than your average person and also incredibly strong, a deadly combination to all his foes. Who was this person who was strong enough to gravely injure Sannan-san and what was Sannan-san's condition right now? Was he going to be okay for a while or was he in critical condition?

"And? How is Sannan-san?" Shinpachi-san asked with concern. Inoue-san looked away before he answered.

"The letter said his wounds are deep, but the injuries are to his left arm. It will be difficult for him to hold a sword, but his life is not in danger."

I relaxed a bit when I heard Sannan-san's life was not in danger, but this was still awful news. Sannan-san was first and foremost, a warrior. To receive a wound that may have rendered him unable to wield a sword again was considered by most warriors to be more shameful than death. This injury was going to impact Sannan-san's mental health severely. But still, Sannan-san was still alive and there was still a chance that I may be able to fix his arm. It would be pointless to fix a dead person's arm, after all.

"Oh, good." Chizuru-chan breathed out in relief without realizing the implications of such an injury.

"It AIN'T good." Heisuke jumped in and confused Chizuru-chan. This was a situation that most women would not understand.

"A sword cannot be easily wielded with one arm." Saito-san explained. A katana was a two-handed sword, not a one-handed sword. "Sannan-san may never hold a blade again."

"And to a warrior, being rendered unable to fight by an enemy is considered a fate worse than death." I explained the rest. Chizuru-chan's eyes widened in horror when she realized the elephant in the room we were talking around and fell quiet.

"Now then, I have something to discuss with Kondou-san." Inoue-san said before speaking to me personally. "Shizuka, could you accompany me? Hijikata-san addressed part of his letter to you."

"Alright." I nodded before I stood up to follow Inoue-san. Figuring I probably wasn't going to come back to finish the rest of my dinner, I slid my tray of food towards Heisuke and Shinpachi-san before shutting the door and following after Inoue-san.

"Here, let me see what Hijikata-san wrote." I said to Inoue-san on the way to Otou-san's room with my hand held out in front of me. Inoue-san passed me the letter and I skimmed through the contents until I got to the part of the letter that was written directly to me.

_Shizuka,_ _Sannan-san took a severe injury to the left side of his upper left arm and I need to know what to do. The injury was a sword strike to the underarm of Sannan-san's left upper arm. It was a clean cut, but deep enough for the sword to have nicked part of the bone. However, we managed to stop the bleeding before Sannan-san lost too much blood. Sannan-san suffered a high fever the day after the injury, but the fever faded on the second day so we aren't too worried about an infection. After regaining consciousness, Sannan-san has had difficulty straightening his arm at the elbow, turning his arm outward, and cannot lift his wrist and fingers. Sannan-san also said that he has loss of feeling in the arm. Reply as soon as you possibly can._

From the area Sannan-san received the injury and the symptoms the injury produced, it must have been the radial nerve that was damaged. However, Sannan-san was now not just experiencing difficulty moving some parts of said arm but his wrist and fingers can no longer move. The nerve wasn't just damaged, it had either been nicked or severed. This was going to be a tricky fix. Because the radial nerve was part of the peripheral nervous system, the nervous system that consisted of nerves and ganglia[2] outside of the brain and spinal cord, it was possible for the nerve to regenerate, but this type of injury required a nerve graft[3]. I was a trauma surgeon, not a neurosurgeon. I had some knowledge on how to perform a nerve graft, but I wasn't specialized in it and this type of surgery definitely required someone who was specialized in nerves. With plenty of research and practice there was a possibility that I could perform the surgery, but the chances of the graft taking were going to be low. I had little experience in specialized nerve surgery and the equipment I had now was not up to par with the equipment I had used in my past life. A nerve graft required microsurgery[4] and I did not have any equipment advanced enough to perform microsurgery. It was possible to hold off the surgery until I was ready and able to perform it, since a nerve graft could be performed many years after the occurrence of the injury, but the longer Sannan-san went without surgery to repair that nerve then there was a higher chance of the graft not working well if it even worked in the first place.

"Shizuka-chan?" Inoue-san called my name once we had arrived right outside of Otou-san's room. I had fallen silent after I had read what Hijikata-san had written. "It's bad, isn't it?"

"I don't know if this is something I can fix." I said with my gaze directly on the floor in front of me.

"It's too early to give up." Inoue-san said gently as he tried to bring my confidence back up. "You haven't even seen the injury yet, so don't say you can't do it yet."

I gave Inoue-san a small smile. "Alright."

"Good, now let's bring the news to your otou-san, shall we?" Inoue-san said before calling through Otou-san's closed doors. "Isami-san, we just got a letter from Hijikata-san and the news is not good."

"Bad news?" I heard Otou-san muttered through the door. "Come in, let's hear what happened."

Inoue-san slid the door open when Otou-san invited him in. We entered the room and I shut the door before sitting next to Inoue-san and directly across from Otou-san. The desk was covered in a mess of unorganized and incomplete papers. Otou-san, who was not expecting me to be with Inoue-san, seemed pleasantly surprised to see me with Inoue-san, but ultimately fell grim when he remembered that Inoue-san had bad news.

"While performing their duties in Osaka, Sannan-san received a grave injury to his left arm." Inoue-san said. "The letter said his wounds are deep, but the injuries are to his left arm. It will be difficult for him to hold a sword, but his life is not in danger."

Otou-san's eyes widened in shock at the news before his expression dissolved into worry. "This is troublesome news indeed." Otou-san muttered before shifting his eyes to me. "But Shizuka can fix this, right?"

I sighed, "In all honesty, I really don't think I can. But I also haven't seen the wound yet, so I'm not actually sure if it's something I can't fix. Hijikata-san wrote to me in a separate part of the letter asking me what he should do."

"I see…" Otou-san said as he started to look depressed. "You should go respond to him as soon as possible."

"I'm not going to write back to Hijikata-san. There's no point in writing back to him." I said tiredly. Otou-san and Inoue-san were completely shocked at my answer.

"Shizuka! I didn't raise you to disregard people in need!" Otou-san harshly scolded me. "Especially with people that are close enough to be considered family!"

"Otou-san, calm down—"

"Don't tell me to calm down! Not when you're behaving like this!"

I sighed again. Otou-san was completely misunderstanding my intentions, but to be fair, I wasn't very clear in the first place. I really should have made myself clear to avoid situations where I put unnecessary stress on people. I wonder why people even put up with me anymore.

"Of course you didn't raise me to behave like this." I raised my voice so I could speak above Otou-san's scolding. "I said there was no point in writing back to Hijikata-san not because I'm not going to help but because I would arrive in Osaka before the letter, thus making a letter pointless."

"Wha—" Otou-san froze. I needed to explain what I was going to do more clearly.

"I'm going to leave for Osaka first thing tomorrow morning so I can go inspect and treat Sannan-san myself. I won't let Sannan-san wait until he returns to headquarters to get that injury treated."

"I-I yelled at Shizu-chan over such a misunderstanding." Otou-san mutter to himself with a mortified expression. "I apologize for such a big misunderstanding! I should have made sure I completely understood what you were talking about first." Otou-san exclaimed in slight embarrassment.

"No, you shouldn't be apologizing to me, Otou-san. I should have been clearer in the first place and because I put unnecessary stress on you, I should be the one to apologize." I replied. "Although, I should really start being less ambiguous when I speak..."

"Yes, you really should." Inoue-san said as he sighed tiredly, feeling quite a bit drained from the tension in the room earlier.

"If you're going to Osaka, then who is going with you?" Otou-san asked. "Don't think Souji or I will allow you to travel to Osaka alone."

"Well, my first choice would have been Souji, but he's a captain and all the captains are needed right now. Since all the captains are occupied with their duties, I would request Yamazaki-san, but he's still away on assignment. I'll take Shimada-san with me. He just reported back earlier this afternoon."

"Alright." Otou-san said. "I'll go inform Shimada-kun. You should make sure you go to bed earlier tonight. You have a long day tomorrow morning."

* * *

Waking up than I normally did in the morning, I quickly grabbed the items I packed for my trip to Osaka and placed them by the door before going back to where Souji was sleeping to peck him lightly on the lips. As I was standing back up again to leave, Souji's hand shot up to grab my wrist gently but firmly.

"You're going to leave without telling me first?" Souji asked from the futon as he opened his eyes to stare at me.

"I didn't want to wake you." I answered softly as I ran my other hand soothingly through his hair. "You have a long work day ahead and I didn't want you to lose any sleep."

"I still would have wanted to see you before you left." Souji frowned as he sat up on the futon. "You know I hate waking up to find that you already left headquarters without letting me know first."

"Sorry, I just thought it would be better if you got more sleep." I said quietly as I pulled my hand from his hair and laid it against is cheek. Souji pulled be back down so he could kiss me and was slow to pull away. "I need to go now." I reminded him softly after a quiet moment. "I don't want to keep Shimada-san waiting for too long."

"Alright." Souji murmured before he released my wrist but let his fingers linger on my skin a bit longer. "Be careful while you're away."

"Don't worry, I will." I said as I stood back up again and headed towards the door. I gathered all my travel bags at the door and turned back to Souji before I stepped outside. "I'll see you when I return."

"Yeah…" Souji said as he let his eyes linger on my form until I closed the door.

* * *

[1] Takuan (沢庵), also known as takuwan or takuan-zuke, is pickled daikon radish. Takuan is often served alongside other types of tsukemono in traditional Japanese cuisine, and is also enjoyed at the end of meals as it is thought to aid digestion. In Korean it is known as danmuji (단무지) and is typically added to gimbap or served as a side dish in Korean Chinese cuisine.

[2] In anatomy, a ganglion is a nerve cell cluster or a group of nerve cell bodies located in the autonomic nervous system. Cells found in a ganglion are called ganglion cells, though this term is also sometimes used to refer specifically to retinal ganglion cells.

[3] Nerve grafts are used when a patient has a nerve injury resulting in complete loss of muscle function or sensation. A nerve graft is a surgical technique in which a segment of unrelated nerve is used to replace or bridge an injured portion of nerve. The donor nerve serves as a "track" along which axons (appendages of neurons, which transmit impulses from the spinal cord to the muscle) can grow down to the target area.

[4] Microsurgery is a general term for surgery requiring an operating microscope. The most obvious developments have been procedures developed to allow anastomosis of successively smaller blood vessels and nerves (typically 1 mm in diameter) which have allowed transfer of tissue from one part of the body to another and re-attachment of severed parts.


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter 53**

The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again. –Charles Dickens

"So is this the inn that Hijikata-san and Sannan-san are currently staying in?" I asked Shimada-san as we stood outside a large but modest looking wooden inn in the northern sector of Osaka.

"Yes, I believe so." Shimada-san answered. "Let's go, the sun has already set and we shouldn't stay outside for too long."

The journey from Kyoto to Osaka by ferry didn't actually take too long, just the average few hours. By the time Shimada-san and I arrived in Osaka it was only late afternoon. However, because we came to Osaka without writing or waiting for Hijikata-san's response, we did not know which inn he was staying at. Shimada-san and I spent the afternoon searching for the right inn and only found the inn after we stopped by a small restaurant for dinner.

"Okay." I agreed before we entered the inn. As soon as we entered, the head cleric greeted us and we were quickly directed to the room Hijikata-san and Sannan-san were staying in.

"Shizuka? Shimada?" Hijikata-san asked with surprise when we opened the door to the room. Sannan-san, who was resting on a futon, was also surprised by our sudden appearance. "What are you two doing here?"

"I came to take care of Sannan-san's injury." I explained. "I would think that coming here in person would be more effective than writing a letter. Plus, this way I can see the injury for myself and determine what needs to be done. As for Shimada-san…"

"The Commander and Okita-san didn't want Okita-sensei to travel alone and had me accompany her as a precaution." Shimada-san completed my sentence.

"I see." Hijikata-san said. "Shizuka, can you take a look at Sannan-san's arm right now?"

I nodded and went to Sannan-san's side. I offered him a quick comforting smile before I set to work on his arm. The bandage wrapped around his upper left arm wasn't dripping with blood, but there was a fair amount of blood that had soaked through to the other side of the bandage. It appeared that when Hijikata-san mentioned that they had stopped the bleeding, Hijikata-san had meant that they stopped the rapid loss of blood. Sannan-san's arm was still oozing out blood at a greatly slowed pace and the bandage needed to be changed.

"Does your arm hurt?" I asked Sannan-san. It was always hard to tell with nerve damage.

"The area around the injury is still painful, but I have loss nearly all sense of touch in my lower arm." Sannan-san informed me.

I nodded silently at the information I had just received. It was a good thing that I packed painkillers. Quickly taking my pair of medical scissors, I cut the bandage so I didn't have to waste time unraveling it to get to the injury. Like what I observed from the bandage alone, the wound was still bleeding, but rather slowly. Vasoconstriction was already in play to slow down the bleeding. The cut was deep and was rather long lengthwise. Sannan-san must have been slashed at rather than stabbed in the arm. Sannan-san suppressed a wince as I cleaned off the wound with alcohol and prodded at the injury. I was right with my initial diagnosis back in Kyoto. The radial nerve had been severed and a nerve graft was going to be required to fix it.

"What is it?" Hijikata-san asked very seriously as he observed my expression changing into one of dread.

"The radial nerve has been severed. Sannan-san requires a nerve graft if he wants any chance at being able to move that arm normally again." I said as I put pressure on the cut to slow down the bleeding that has sped up slightly due to the removal of the bandage.

"Radial nerve? Nerve graft? What do you mean?" Hijikata-san asked.

"The radial nerve is what allows the dorsal muscles of the arm to move, allows the hand and wrist to extend, and allows sensation to parts of the hand. Sannan-san's left radial nerve has been severed and a nerve graft is what is required to reconnect the two ends of the nerve." I explained. "Shimada-san, can you reach into my kit and pull out the curved needle and thread? And can you also grab the syringe and glass jar of clear liquid."

"Can you operate?" Sannan-san asked grimly as he too also saw my look of dread from earlier.

"I don't know." I said truthfully. This type of news was something that shouldn't be sugarcoated. "I lack the proper equipment to perform a nerve graft and I don't have the experience to ensure that there is a high success rate."

"Then are you saying that it's impossible?" Hijikata-san asked gravely.

"Not quite. The thing about nerve grafts is that it doesn't need to be performed as soon as possible, although nerve grafts are more effective when performed near the time of injury." I explained further before I took the medical supplies from Shimada-san. "Thank you Shimada-san. I can do more research to see if I can increase the success rate and see if I can get some equipment made that is suitable for this type of surgery. But for now, we need to suture the wound shut to fully stop the bleeding. When ready, I can go back to operate."

Quickly injecting some local anesthetic around the wound, I allowed the anesthetic to numb the area around the gaping wound before I stitched Sannan-san's wound shut. I bandaged Sannan-san's arm again shortly afterwards. The open wound would heal shut quite easily and the stitches would be fine to remove in two weeks.

"Okay, that should be it for now." I said as I placed my used equipment on a tray to be sterilized later. "The stitches will need to stay in for about two weeks. I'll go ahead and write a letter to Kyoko-chan and Kenji-san to see if they can manufacture some equipment for me while I go do more research. I'll get that arm moving on its own again, so you need to rest well to keep your strength up, okay Sannan-san?"

"I understand." Sannan-san said kindly with a forced smile, although his smile came out more like a grimace.

"Shimada-san, can you sit with Sannan-san for a while I go sterilize the used equipment?" I asked as I stood back up with the tray of tools in my hand. "Hijikata-san, can you come with me? I need some help."

"Right." Hijikata-san said before he followed me out of the room. "So what do you need me to do?"

"Can you run down to the main desk and rent another room? I would feel more comfortable if we stayed put for a couple more days so Sannan-san can recover a bit more and I don't think the four of us will fit in one room comfortably."

Hijikata-san sighed tiredly, "Got it." before he left me alone to clean off my tools.

* * *

"Sannan-san, eat." I said with furrowed brows as Sannan-san glared at his breakfast the next morning. "You can't take your painkillers on an empty stomach."

Eating normally was fairly difficult with one hand. When using chopsticks, you control the chopsticks with your dominant hand while you held the bowl with the other. Now that Sannan-san had lost the use of one arm, eating had become quite a messy chore. Sannan-san refused to have anyone feed him because he believed it was shameful and had quickly lost his appetite to eat around other people because of the mess he made when he attempted to eat his meal. At this point, I may have been more successful in making him eat if I left to allow Sannan-san to eat in privacy to save face, but I got the feeling that if I left him alone then he would skip out on eating to stew in his depression. Forget about pride! Food was food and Sannan-san needed to eat if he wanted to recover.

"I will when you leave the room like the others." he said stubbornly as he looked away like a child. While I knew he was suffering mentally from his injury, my patience was running strangely thin this morning and was not helped by the fact that women do tend to be more formidable when feeling moody.

"What did you say?" I said in dark irritation. "I never thought that YOU were capable of acting like a stubborn child." I quickly grabbed his bowl of rice and chopsticks so I could be ready for what happened next.

"'Stubborn child'?!" Sannan-san snapped before he quickly turned around to argue with me. "There is nothing wrong with wanting privacy while eat—!"

As soon as Sannan-san turned back around to yell at me, I quickly stuffed a small mouthful of rice into his mouth.

"Swallow that before you speak and don't you dare spit that out! You don't want to know what I would do to those who knowingly and willingly waste food." I threatened.

Sannan-san glared at me and quietly promised retribution before he swallowed the mouthful. "Shizuka-chan, that was quite rude of you." he said as soon as his mouth emptied.

"I know and quite frankly, I don't care." I said sternly before sighing and softening my expression. "Sannan-san, I know that you are frustrated and ashamed of yourself, but you need to eat to keep your strength up. I promise you that your arm won't be like that forever. I can operate on it, but in order to operate on it, you need to remain healthy. Eat and focus on recovering while I conduct more research so that by the time I am able to operate there will be fewer chances of complications."

Sannan-san didn't answer me but most of the tension in his shoulders left as he yielded to my request. He sat quietly as he allowed me to feed him the rest of his breakfast. When he was finished with his meal, I wiped his mouth with a small handkerchief before I removed the tray.

"You're moodier than usual. You're normally milder than this." Sannan-san sighed exasperatedly before offering me a small smile. "You won't even allow an injured man to win an argument. I miss the good old days when you were scared of me."

"Of course I'm moody." I snorted as I ignored the scared part of the comment. "I have an uncooperative patient that needs to eat properly to recover, but I will admit that I might have gone a bit overboard earlier and been a bit too forceful."

"Where is Hijikata-kun and Shimada-kun?" Sannan-san changed the topic. "I'm aware that they wanted to give me some privacy, but they have been gone for a while."

"A government official came to the inn an hour earlier and was specifically looking for the 'Vice Commander'." I explained. "There have been a series of thefts in Osaka lately and it appears that they have finally had enough of the thefts. They probably want us to investigate the thefts before we leave."

Standing up, I picked up the tray of dirty dishes to carry down to the kitchen. We were staying at an inn with excellent service and they would have undoubtedly sent a maid to pick up the used dishes, but I wanted to go down to the kitchen to speak with the cook. Sannan-san had nerve damage to heal from and I wanted to be able to cook him some meals that had nutrients that encouraged nerve recovery. Vitamin B12 was excellent for helping nerve damage recovery, so if I got permission to use the kitchen from the cook then I needed to run down to the market to purchase some Japanese snapper.

"Excuse me." I called into the kitchen as I poke my head in for a quick peek. The big, aging, burly cook, who in all honesty looked like a pirate, was doing upkeep on his knives now that breakfast was done and had been served to the guest while there was a flurry of maids washing the used dishes.

"Oh!" a maid cried when she noticed me. She quickly ran to me and took the tray of dirty dishes from my hands. "There was no need to bring the dishes down yourself. We would have sent someone to pick up the used dishes."

"Oh, I know." I said with a friendly smile. "I wanted to. Besides, I didn't go out of my way to bring the dishes down because I needed to come down to the kitchens anyways. I have a request to make of the person in charge of the kitchens."

"A request?" the cook said with his gruff voice as he put down his knife before approaching and looking down at me. "Whatcha' need?"

"I have a close friend that was injured and is now staying at this inn. May I please allow me to use the kitchens to cook some meals for him?" I asked with a polite bow.

"You?" the burly man snorted harshly before turning to walk away from me. "Does a tiny brat like you even know how to cook? Go run along kid. You'll only get in my way."

Tiny brat? Kid? Okay, who did this man think he was?! Infuriated at his words and assumptions, I pulled off a slipper the inn provided and tossed it at the back of the man's head. The infuriating man froze in place when my slipper connected with the back of his head and all the maids gasped in shock.

"Don't make assumptions about me based on my small appearance!" I growled in irritation. "If you're going to judge me then judge me based off of my merits and not my physical appearance!"

Let me be the first person to admit what I just did wasn't the smartest. The point was to be as polite as possible so I could use the kitchens, not be so rude that I was completely banned from entering the inn's kitchens. Plus, what the hell was I thinking picking a fight with this man? I was a miniature ant compared to this elephant-sized man. But this man was just so infuriating and it was just too difficult to restrain my anger any longer. Just as I was expecting the man to have me thrown out of the kitchens, the man burst out into jolly bouts of laughter. He turned back around to face me as he was wiping the tears from his eyes that appeared while he was laughing.

"I like your spunk!" he said with a wide grin. "Good sturdy women like you are difficult to find outside of Edo! Fine! You can use the kitchens. BUT if you get in my way while I'm doing my job, I'll have you thrown out. Are we clear?"

I stared blankly at him with my jaw on the floor at his sudden change of attitude before I quickly shook the shock away and gave him a grateful deep bow. "Thank very much! I promise I will not get in your way!"

"Heh! What are you still doing here?! Go buy your ingredients from the market! Don't think I'll let you use any of my supplies other seasonings!" the man said as he tossed my slipper back at me.

"R-Right!" I stuttered at another shift in attitude and scrambled back up to the rented room with the slipper in hand to where I left Sannan-san. I needed to go inform Hijikata-san that I was going to buy food at the market. He was probably going to have someone escort me, if he didn't do it himself.

When I arrived back upstairs where Sannan-san was currently residing, Hijikata-san and Shimada-san had returned from their earlier meeting with the government official. They went quiet when I opened the door and slipped back into the room.

"Where have you been?" Hijikata-san asked in annoyance. "I believe I told you not to wander off on your own."

"Relax, I didn't leave the inn. I went down to the kitchens to request permission to use the kitchens a bit later so I can cook for Sannan-san. Which brings me to ask if someone could accompany me to the market?" I said.

Hijikata-san sighed tiredly. "I'll go. I need to cool my head anyways. Shimada, start the investigation and gather as much information on the thefts as possible."

"Understood." Shimada-san replied before dismissing himself.

"Well then, go enjoy yourself at the markets while I rest a while longer." Sannan-san smiled at Hijikata-san before laying back down on his futon with his blankets pulled up snuggly to his chin.

"Got it, got it." Hijikata-san sighed before standing up and walking towards the door. "What are you waiting for Shizuka? Let's go."

* * *

"So," I said on the way to the market with Hijikata-san, "what has you so irritated this morning? Did it have something to do with something that government official said?"

"It's that obvious, huh?" he said as he ran his hand down his face. "There have been a series of thefts in Osaka lately. Small valuables, such as jewelry, have been stolen from homes and the officials have just ignored it until now. The only reason that the official that came this morning to request us to investigate the thefts now is because the thief had finally stolen from him. A ring that was his family's heirloom was stolen yesterday, in the late afternoon. These officials are pretty selfish, ignoring everyone's demands for an investigation until one of them was affected."

"Well, humans are naturally selfish creatures to begin with." I pointed out as I directed Hijikata-san towards the stall selling fish that I spotted a bit earlier. The fish at that stall were extremely fresh as most of them weren't dead yet and still flopped around in the wooden boxes.

"But still..." Hijikata-san said irritably before letting out another stressed sigh. "We're low on manpower right now, so I'll need you to participate in the investigation later."

Approaching the stall with Hijikata-san, I scanned the boxes filled with fish for today's lunch. In the last box, furthest to the left was a large Japanese snapper. It was a fairly strong and was healthy fish if the amount of flopping was something to go by. That was going to make a great meal.

"Excuse me!" I called to get the fishmonger's attention. "I would like that snapper please." I said as I pointed to the large fish that was in the process of jumping out of the box.

"Sure thing!" the fishmonger called back cheerfully as he nabbed the fish mid jump by its tail.

He placed the fish in a small wicker basket and placed a matching lid over the opening before he handed it to me. I quickly paid the man for the fish before taking the basket off his hands. This fish was impressively strong. It had been out of the water for some time and I could still feel it flailing around in the basket. The poor thing had a strong will to survive, but it was going to be Sannan-san's meal to help boost his speed in recovery.

"Do want me to carry that for you?" Hijikata-san asked me as he eyed the moving basket in my arms on our way back to the inn. "The fish looks like it's struggling quite a lot and it looks quite heavy."

"It's fine." I said before the fish gave the lid a powerful swing from its tail. The lid flew off the basket and hit me in the face as the fish continued to flop around helplessly in the basket. Suddenly, I didn't feel so bad for the fish anymore. In fact, now I couldn't wait to cook the blasted thing.

"You sure?" Hijikata-san asked with an amused, yet smug grin on his face.

"I'm sure." I huffed as I went to pick the lid off the ground. Slamming the lid back on the basket, I quickly reached back into my sleeve and pulled out my tasuki so I could tie the lid on the basket. "You know," I said maliciously with narrowed eyes as I lifted the basket to my face so I could talk to the fish within, "I was feeling bad that I was going to cook you since you have such a strong will to survive, but now, I'm going to enjoy cooking you."

Hijikata-san snorted as he held back a snicker at my behavior before he ruffled my hair. "Received some brain damage there a bit earlier?" he turned to mocked me. "Normal people don't talk to their food. Feeling moody today?"

I shook Hijikata-san's hand out of my hair before passing him the basket so I could fix my hair. "Well, it's not like other people's food is still alive, like this little cretin." I pointed out as I pulled my kanzashi out of my hair so I could fix my now messed up hair. Quickly redoing my hair bun, I reinserted my kanzashi before I took the basket back from Hijikata-san. "As for why I'm moody, well, it's not like my morning has been very smooth so far."

"Point taken. But you have been moodier lately, not just this morning." Hijikata-san said with a grin as we continued back on our way back to the inn, or at least we tried.

As Hijikata-san turned back towards to direction we were heading in, he crashed into another man who was carrying several large rolls of cloth. It was impossible to tell who was at fault here. Was it Hijikata-san's for not noticing the man or was it the man's, who was now on the floor, because he was carrying so much that he couldn't see?

"Are you okay?" I asked as I bent down to the fallen man's level to examine him for injuries and to help him up.

"Watch where you're…" the man yelled but froze when he spotted the two swords hanging from Hijikata-san's hip and the naginata strapped on my back.

"Ho? Want to say that louder?" Hijikata-san said threateningly with a twitchy eyebrow that conveyed his discontent for being accused. Hijikata-san also had a pretty crappy morning, so I really couldn't blame him for being so irritated.

"N-No!" the man panicked as he scrambled to his feet before he bowed several times in a rushed apology to Hijikata-san. "Please forgive me for my clumsiness."

…

…

…

Hmm… Something about this man just seemed so familiar, but I couldn't really pick out what. It wasn't his voice nor was it his appearance, though his appearance did seem somewhat familiar. Why did it feel like I knew who this man was? I squinted at him as he continued to apologize to Hijikata-san while being scolded. Ah! It was his accent I recognized! The man had an Edo accent, but that couldn't be the only thing that seemed familiar. It was his speech pattern. But I could have sworn I was more use to hearing it sounding more confident rather than the nervous tone that came out of this man's mouth now. Wait… No way…

"Isao-kun? Is that you?" I asked in disbelief as I reached down to help him pick up the rolls of fallen cloth off the floor. The man froze again as he turned to stare at me.

"How did you know my… AHHH! SHIZUKA-CHAN?!" the man, who was now identified, exclaimed with a mortified expression as he dropped all of his rolls of cloth to point at me in shock while Hijikata-san stared at the both of us in confusion. "C-Crap! I-I've got to hide! If you're here then that means that oni is here too!"

Oni? As far as I'm aware, Hijikata-san was the only one people called "oni", but it was clear he wasn't talking about Hijikata-san because they had never met before this.

"Wait… You know this man, Shizuka?" Hijikata-san asked as he cocked his head to the left as he curiously stared at Isao-kun.

"Yeah." I answered Hijikata-san. "He was the son of a man that use to attend Otou-san's dojo. Although, they both stopped coming to the dojo three months before you met Otou-san."

"Isao-kun, it's a pleasure to see you again after all these years." I said with a friendly smile, but what did he mean by oni? "How have you been?"

"G-Good. Wait… H-He's not appearing? Does that mean he's not here? Strange, he never lets you out of his sight." Isao-kun said as he calmed down and put his hand under his chin in a thinking gesture.

Never let me out of his sight? Was he talking about Souji? Souji an oni? Nope, that was totally not possible. Sure, Souji could be a tiny bit scary when annoyed but I don't believe he actually did anything bad enough to be called an oni. But at the same time, maybe the reason I didn't think Souji was scary because I was so use to him and because I knew him so well. This was a rather interesting situation. Oni was Hijikata-san's nickname, but it was now something he shared with Souji. Souji would definitely get a laugh out of this.

"What do you mean by 'oni'?" Hijikata-san asked Isao-kun with his interest tickled. "Who are you talking about?"

"He's talking about Souji." I said to Hijikata-san before I passed Isao-kun the roll of cloth I picked off the ground for him and bent back down to pick up another one. "Why don't we pick up your fallen items off the ground and go to that teahouse to catch up a bit afterwards?" I suggested before I pointed to a nearby teahouse.

"Before I agree, he's not here, right?" Isao-kun asked with caution as he searched the streets for the green-eyed samurai.

"No, he's back at Kyoto." I answered. "I know he beat you up before, but just what else did he do to make you this terrified of him?"

"Umm… I don't really want to talk about it." Isao-kun muttered as he picked up the last roll of cloth before following me and Hijikata-san to the small teahouse on the side of the street we were standing on.

"So," I said after we got settled in the teahouse and ordered a few sticks of dango with tea, "How have you been doing and what are you doing here in Osaka? I would have expected you to be back in Edo still. Oh, before I forget, the man next to me is Hijikata Toshizo."

"Nice to meet you." Isao-kun said politely to Hijikata-san. "My name is Tsubaki Isao."

"A pleasure." Hijikata-san said amicably with a nod.

"Well," Isao-kun said before he stuffed his mouth with some dango and swallowed, "to answer your first question, I came to Osaka for work. I opened my own tailoring business just last summer here in Osaka. Unfortunately the business isn't going so well because I'm not really well-known and because people think I'm just some country bumpkin because I'm from Edo."

"I see." Hijikata-san nodded empathetically at Isao-kun's dilemma. "The people of Osaka and Kyoto do tend to be snobbish towards those they deem beneath them."

"You know, I just can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that you're here in Osaka with Okita nowhere in sight." Isao-kun said to me again before he quickly turned to search the streets, like he was afraid that Souji was suddenly going to show up and beat him up again. "You guys still live together, right?"

"Of course they still live together." Hijikata-san said nonchalantly as he took a sip of tea from his cup. "He's her husband."

Isao-kun suddenly became bug-eyed before he spit out all the tea that he just sipped from his cup, unfortunately at a random person that just happened to pass by. "THEY'RE MARRIED NOW?" he spluttered at Hijikata-san as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before he turned to stare at me with his mouth hanging open. "Then why isn't he here with you? If you guys are married now then he would definitely not let you out of his sight."

"It can't be helped. Souji's the Shinsengumi's first division captain, so it's not like he can just leave his responsibilities behind just to accompany me to Osaka." I explained before I took a bite of dango. Hmm… the dango they sell at this teahouse was too sweet. I liked the teahouse I frequented often in Kyoto with Kyoko-chan better.

"HE'S A MIBU WOLF?!" Isao-kun exclaimed as he started turning pale.

"You didn't know?" I asked. Who the captains of the infamous Shinsengumi were was pretty basic knowledge back in Kyoto. Maybe it's because the Shinsengumi became less well-known the further we got from Kyoto? "Hijikata-san here is the Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi." I mentioned offhandedly to Isao-kun.

At hearing the last part of my statement, Isao-kun stiffly turned to stare at Hijikata-san before he turned paler than he was before. His eyes then rolled towards the back of his head and he fell backwards off the bench he was sitting on.

"He fainted." Hijikata-san said as he stood up from his seat so he could check on Isao-kun, who was lying on the floor. "I didn't think you would know such a pansy."

"He use to not be like that." I said as I stood up to help Hijikata-san lay the unconscious man back on the bench. "Souji chased him off when we were kids by beating him up when he thought Isao-kun was getting too close to me. Isao-kun became really jumpy afterwards, especially around anything that resembled a wooden sword."

"Just how much did Souji thrash this guy?"

"I dunno. I never asked. Looking back in hindsight, I probably should have confronted Souji about the incident and let him know that beating a person up was not okay." I said before I sat back down on the bench from before and popped another dango into my mouth. We should probably wait here until he woke up. It was the least I could do after all the trouble Souji caused for this poor guy in our childhood.

"Huh…" Hijikata-san said as he sat back down on the bench and finished his cup of tea, acting like a man fainting in his presence was completely normal. "It's strangely nice to know I wasn't the only one that suffered as Souji's target."

"You're not going to scold Souji when we get back?"

"No, I don't think I can scold him for something he did before I knew him. It should be your job to scold him for this." Hijikata-san pointed out.

"Fair point." I said as I bent over to poke Isao-kun's cheek to see if that would wake him up faster. What an interesting encounter.


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 54**

"The calendar was a mathematical progression with arbitrary surprises." ― Paul Scott, _The Towers of Silence_

"You're not going to pass out again are you?" I asked the man stirring on the bench. Finally, after about ten or so minutes, Isao-kun had just started to stir. He blinked several times in confusion while staring at my face dumbly as I hovered over him.

"I just had an interesting dream…" he said as I backed up to allow him to sit back up. "I could have sworn you just introduced me to the 'Oni' Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi."

Hijikata-san snorted at Isao-kun's dazed words, "That was no dream and besides, how the hell would you have fallen asleep mid conversation?"

"W-What?! T-Then it's t-true?" Isao-kun said as he lost all color in his face once again.

"Don't you dare faint again." Hijikata-san snapped with displeasure. "If you faint again, we're not going to waste our time to wait for you to come back to reality."

"R-Right! S-Sorry!" Isao-kun cried as he leapt to his feet and quickly bowed several times to Hijikata-san, who was still sitting on the bench and drinking his second cup of tea.

"You know, you don't have to be so nervous around Hijikata-san." I said as I stood up to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. "The rumors about the Shinsengumi may have been bad, but they're not all true. Hijikata-san's not going to eat you or anything like that."

"'Not all true'? So that mean some of them were true." Isao-kun said, picking out some keywords in my previous statement.

"Well, yeah… But there are very good explanations behind all the ones that are." I defended. "All those rumors were caused by the behavior of one person and that person is no longer a part of the Shinsengumi." I said while leaving out the fact that it was because said person was dead because he was assassinated by… Well, us.

Isao-kun narrowed his eyes to survey me before he turned to examine Hijikata-san, as if he was trying to judge whether or not he could trust us. The atmosphere grew quiet and tense as the two men stared at each other, neither backing down as they both examined and judged the other's worth. Isao-kun must have seen something he liked or believed he could trust because the tense moment ended when he relaxed his rigid form and nodded respectfully to Hijikata-san. Hijikata-san reciprocated the gesture. It felt as if the men had a silent conversation and had come to a mutual understanding.

"Alright, I'll take your word for it." Isao-kun said with a sigh as he slumped back down into his previous seat. "I can tell Hijikata-san is a good and trustworthy man."

"Likewise." Hijikata-san said with acceptance. "You're a good and honorable man, even if you're a bit of a coward."

"Coward?!" Isao-kun exclaimed, insulted by Hijikata-san's backhanded compliment. "Oh, whatever…"

I really didn't know what to say about the conversation they had. It was pretty interesting that some men could just suddenly seem to understand each other without saying a word.

"While it was nice to see you again, I'm afraid Hijikata-san and I must leave soon. We have an injured companion back at the inn we're staying at and I'm supposed to prepare lunch for him." I said after I finally found my voice again. I had lifted up the basket that contained the pesky fish to emphasize the lunch part as I spoke. The fish had finally grown limp and I wanted to cook it while it was still incredibly fresh. Besides, I'm pretty sure Hijikata-san and I had kept Sannan-san waiting long enough.

"And we still need to capture that mysterious thief before we leave Osaka." Hijikata-san added as he stood up. "We're low on manpower right now so time is crucial."

"Wait!" Isao-kun called out to us as he leapt to his feet just as Hijikata-san and I were preparing to leave. "You're after the thief plaguing Osaka right now?!"

Hijikata-san's face grew serious as he turned around to question Isao-kun. "What? Do you know something about the thief?"

"No, I only really know what the public knows, but if you're low on manpower… Please let me help you in this endeavor." Isao-kun said as he bowed deeply while asking for permission.

"Wha—?" Hijikata-san said, taken back by the sudden force of Isao-kun's words. "Why would you want to help the 'dreaded' Shinsengumi with official business?"

"Because that thief stole from me too and I have to get it back no matter what." Isao-kun said with steely determination.

"'It'?" I questioned. "What's 'it'?"

"A gold-plated ivory comb." Isao-kun answered before his voice grew soft. "My business isn't doing very well right now, so I don't have a lot of money and I need that comb back so I can sell it to get the money I need to marry my Sei-chan…"

Wait, marry? He found a woman that he wanted to marry? With the amount of affection he said the woman's name with, it appeared that this wasn't going to be one of those common arranged marriages. Who would have thought that little boy I often felt like I was babysitting matured this much? Hijikata-san and I looked at each other before we both turned to look back at Isao-kun.

"How committed are you to capturing this thief?" Hijikata-san questioned seriously. "How far are you willing to go?"

"I'm ready to die to get that comb back." Isao-kun said with determination. "I'd rather die if I can't marry Sei-chan."

Hijikata-san's face broke out into a sharp confident grin. "I like your resolve. Very well, come with us back to the inn and we'll pool all our information and resources. Our investigation officially begins after lunch.

* * *

I bit back a gag as I cut the snapper open in order to clean out the inside. I've done this hundreds of times, so when I gagged it wasn't because I thought cleaning out a dead fish was gross but because the scent of raw fish seem far stronger than it was normally.

"You okay there? You look a bit sick." the cook, who I found out was named Waka Jiro, asked me as he diced the spring onions for the meals he was preparing.

"I'm fine." I said as I turned my head away from the fish to take a deep breath. "It's just that the scent of fish is a bit strong and it's not agreeing with my stomach."

"Hmph! You're quite the amateur if you can't handle the scent of raw fish!" Waka-san mocked me as he walked over to where I was working just so he could flick my forehead. "The fish is fresh so it doesn't even stink yet."

I bristled at his insult. Seriously, this man!

"I'm not an amateur! It's just I don't get to cook snapper very often so I'm not use to the smell yet!" I adamantly defended myself.

Although, the snapper really just smelled like how raw fish normally smelled. It was that I just couldn't really handle the scent of raw fish well right now even though it was originally something that never really bothered me before. I huffed angrily at Waka-san, who was currently teasing me immaturely by making faces at me, before I turned around to focus on the meal I was preparing. I was going to grill the snapper and use it as filling for rice balls I was going to make for everyone. Sannan-san was unable to use both hands while eating and I didn't want to single him out as the only one who couldn't eat with chopsticks right now since I was sure Sannan-san wouldn't appreciate that and also because he had to eat with everyone this time if he wanted to partake in the meeting. If Sannan-san was going to eat rice balls then I would make rice balls for everyone to avoid making Sannan-san have self-depreciating thoughts about not being able to feed himself.

After Hijikata-san had given permission to Isao-kun to help us with the investigation, we stopped by his shop on the way back to allow him to drop off his rolls of cloth before he came with us to the inn. Isao-kun was currently in a meeting with Hijikata-san, Sannan-san, and Shimada-san to exchange information and to create a plan for capturing the thief. Quickly finishing up cleaning the insides of the fish, I tossed the fish into the pan afterwards. I wanted to finish up cooking as fast as possible so I could hurry up and join in on the meeting.

Just as I was finishing putting all the finished dishes on the tray after I had finished cooking, a loud thumping sound caught my attention. I turned to the source of the noise to see Waka-san chase off a large azure-winged magpie that came in through the kitchens' open window.

"Damn things!" Waka-san growled after he chased off the magpie. "There's been a recent population boon with those birds living in the area. I'd suggest that ya keep ya windows closed if you don't want those damned birds sifting through you're stuff." he explained when he saw me staring at him.

"What do you mean by 'sifting through my stuff'?" I asked curiously as I cocked my head to the side.

"Exactly what it sounds like." the man said gruffly as he returned to the miso clam soup he was cooking. "Those damn things will make off with anything that they can carry that's shiny and ain't tied down. That thing from earlier was after my knife I left on the cutting board."

I nodded absentmindedly as I picked up the food and left the kitchens. It was nice to be informed about the problems the magpies were causing around Osaka. I made a small mental note to myself to not leave anything valuable outside where the magpies could see. It would be a big problem for me if the birds did end up going after my medical equipment.

"Lunch is finished everyone." I called through the door of the room before opening the door and letting myself in. Isao-kun, Hijikata-san, and Shimada-san were all seated in a circle around Sannan-san's futon and were discussing the thefts. Sannan-san was sitting up in his futon with his injured arm in the sling I created for him earlier.

"Ah, thank you very much for the food." Sannan-san said kindly with a smile as I walked over to him to pass him a rice ball. He shot me an appreciative glance as he reached over to take a rice ball from me.

"So what have you gathered on the thefts that have been occurring in Osaka, Shimada?" Hijikata-san asked as he reached over to the plate to grab a rice ball.

"When the thief steals he will always steal valuables not kept on a person, the thefts always occur in broad daylight, and no one has ever even seen the thief." Shimada-san listed off the information he had managed to collect this morning.

"Another piece of information that might help is that the thief will only steal from the floors above ground level if there is some opening to the floors above that connects to the outside." Isao-kun added before taking a bite of the rice ball he grabbed. "If there's a small hole, a loose roof tile, or anything that would allow entrance to the second floor or above then the thief will get in. My ivory comb was stolen through a hole in my roof that was caused by a loose tile shifting."

"I see…" Hijikata-san said as he processed the information. "This thief is talented if he can move through broad daylight without being seen even once. So if all the conditions are met then the thief will appear, right?"

"This will make it easy to set a trap to capture the thief." Sannan-san said after he swallowed a bite. "If the thief has never been seen or caught, he is most likely over confident and will not suspect a trap. We can recreate those same conditions artificially and capture the thief as he walks into our trap."

"Oh!" Isao-kun exclaimed with his mouth full. He swallowed before he continued speaking. "I have an acquaintance that would be willing to help. He runs a small jewelry shop and his shop been hit by the thief more than once. He wants to catch this thief as much as we all do. We can recreate the same conditions for the thief to appear at his shop and use one of my acquaintance's jewelry pieces as bait."

"That's a sound plan." Hijikata-san nodded in agreement before he turned to me. "You should eat some food. You'll need some strength if you're going to join us in capturing the thief later."

Hijikata-san had noticed I wasn't eating anything. Honestly, I had lost my appetite when I was preparing the snapper earlier. Just thinking of the scent of raw snapper was enough to make me queasy right now, so no thank you for actually eating the fish.

"No, I'll be fine." I said with a small smile. "I'm not hungry because of the amount of dango I ate earlier." I lied.

Hijikata-san silently raised his eyebrow at me, but let what I said slide without an argument.

"Shizuka-chan," Sannan-san said with a glint in his eyes, "Okita-kun would be displeased if he found out you were skipping meals. You don't want me to have to make you eat, right?"

… Scary Sannan-san was back. Not wanting to take my chances with whatever Sannan-san had planned for me, I quickly grabbed the last rice ball on the plate and took a bite out of it. There was nothing wrong with the rice ball and I really liked the taste of the snapper filling, but the taste just wasn't really settling well with my stomach right now. Disregarding the queasiness building in my stomach, I forced myself to swallow as I watched Sannan-san smile sadistically at me. I narrowed my eyes unhappily at Sannan-san. This was his revenge for forcing him to eat this morning, wasn't it?

"Ahem." Isao-kun cleared his throat to regain everyone's attention. "So we'll go with this plan and create a trap for the thief?"

"Yes, this is our best bet now." Hijikata-san agreed. "Shimada, go with Tsubaki to speak to his acquaintance to see if we can borrow his shop for this operation. After we get his approval, we'll set up our trap tomorrow."

"Understood." Shimada-san said as he stood up. Isao-kun licked his fingers clean before he stood up too. He gave Hijikata-san a nod before he was escorted out by Shimada-san.

When the two men left the room, Sannan-san reached over and placed the palm of his hand on my forehead.

"There's no temperature." Sannan-san said. "So, tell me why you looked so queasy while you were eating earlier."

Queasy? How could he tell?

"It was written all over your face." Hijikata-san answered the questions going through my head. "You're not sick are you?"

"Not that I'm aware of." I said as I brushed Sannan-san's hand off my forehead. "It's just that snapper wasn't settling well with my stomach. I do feel like being a picky eater right now. You know, like those times I really like nattō[1] for some strange reason while hating it for most of the other times."

Hijikata-san sighed. "Your eating habits are really strange sometimes despite the fact that you're not a picky eater. Anyways, our plan goes into action tomorrow, so why don't you take the rest of today to do some research on the nerve graft?"

"Okay." I agreed. "I'm going to my room then. Call me if you need anything, Sannan-san."

"Alright." Sannan-san said before he laid back down on the futon.

* * *

"Okay… Just how much longer do you think we'll have to wait before anything happens?" I asked Hijikata-san from my hiding spot.

After Isao-kun had gotten permission from his acquaintance to use the jewelry shop in the plan, we set up the trap on the second floor of the building. The window was left wide open and the bait was a platinum hairpin with jewels embedded into it. The bait was to lure the thief into the room deep enough so we could jump out of our hiding spots to apprehend the thief when he came in to steal the hairpin. However, there was a problem. When creating our plan, none of us actually took into account how long it might take for the thief to appear. Well, Sannan-san might have, but he probably said nothing so he could laugh at us later. It had been five days since we set up the trap and no one had appeared yet to try to steal the hairpin.

"Who knows?!" Hijikata-san huffed impatiently next to me as he blew a speck of dust away from his face. "Damn thief really knows how to make people wait, doesn't he?!"

"Can I move yet?" Isao-kun whined with tears running down his face from his hiding spot. "My back hurts from being so still."

Isao-kun was stuck with the worst hiding spot out of us all. While Hijikata-san and I were hidden behind a shoji screen divider and Shimada-san was hidden behind a large cabinet, Isao-kun was hiding in the space under the large cabinet. From lying on the hard wooden floor for so long, it was inevitable that he was going to grow stiff.

"No!" Hijikata-san snarled as some hilariously, sharp, pointy teeth magically appeared in his mouth. He was losing his temper from being force to wait this long for a simple thief to appear. "You stay where you are until the thief appears!"

"Shizuka-chan." Isao-kun whined to me pathetically just like a puppy that had been placed in a cardboard box with the sign "take me home please" attached onto it. I offered him an apologetic smile, but didn't really do anything else. Poor Isao-kun, just grit your teeth and hang in there! I'm sure the thief will appear any second now!

But what really happened was that seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into hours. Just as the sun was starting to set and I was losing hope for the thief appearing at all today, there was a thumping sound from outside. There was someone scaling the wall from outside. Everyone's focus sharpened as they waited for the perpetrator to reveal himself as he hauled himself into the room through the window.

The thief was dressed in a quaint fashion. He wore normal civilian clothing with a bandana tied around his head as he carried a sack that was thrown over his shoulders. He looked exactly like how a child would picture a thief would look like back in the Tokugawa era, which would beg the question: How the hell did this man not get caught yet if he was dressed very obviously like a thief? Just walking outside with that bandana tied around his head and the sack tossed over his shoulder basically screamed, "Hey look at me! I'm a suspicious character and I dress exactly like a thief! Come arrest me!" Without looking around or surveying his surroundings, the thief tiptoed towards the jeweled hairpin in a very cartoonish like manner and just as the thief was reaching out to grab the hairpin, Isao-kun leapt out of his hiding spot with an impressive speed and knocked down the thief before sitting on him.

"Hahaha! I got you now, thief!" Isao-kun boasted loudly as the rest of us emerged from our hiding spots.

Isao-kun got off the thief as Hijikata-san grabbed a hold of the thief by the collar of his clothing and slammed him against a wall nearby.

"You're going to tell me everything, got that?!" Hijikata-san growled darkly at the thief while looking absolutely terrifying. I'm glad that I was never on the receiving end of Hijikata-san's ire.

The thief grew increasingly pale as he stared wide-eyed at Hijikata-san's furious snarl and started to shake quite visibly as he dropped the sack he was carrying. The sack spilled open when it hit the ground and all sorts of valuables spilled onto the floor.

"Y-You'll n-never g-get me to t-talk!" the very terrified thief said as he put on his poorly created brave face.

"Ho? Is that so?" Hijikata-san threatened darkly.

While Hijikata-san was trying to get the thief to speak, I went ahead and pulled out a medical needle I just happened to have with me at the time. Just as the thief was hissing and spitting profanity out at Hijikata-san, I took one of the thief's hands and poked one of his fingertips with the needle. As soon as I did that, the thief let out a loud high-pitched scream.

"KYAAAAAA! OKAY! I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING!" the thief screamed before dissolving into a blubbering mess of tears and snot, causing Hijikata-san's eyebrows to disappear into his hairline as he stared at the thief in disbelief.

Interesting… So this man could put on a brave face up until the moment there was the smallest threat of physical pain. When I poked him with the needle earlier it shouldn't have even hurt. There was no blood drawn and the skin wasn't even pierced. It really should have tickled if anything. Just the knowledge that I had a needle in my hand that I could possibly push into his finger under his fingernail was enough to set him off. This man was mentally very weak.

"We're stealing traditional Japanese valuables to trade to the Westerners for guns and cannons!" the man blurted out in a sob. "Then we were going to sell these weapons to the Choshu ronin for some fast money! Please don't hurt me!"

"'We'? Whose 'we'?" Hijikata-san demanded as his voice hardened after hearing the Choshu ronin were involved. "How many people are involved and where is your base of operations?!"

"And where do you keep the items you've stolen?!" Isao-kun added to the demand.

"T-There are only eight people, including me, involved in this operation. O-Our b-base is located in a small warehouse near where all the ferries d-dock. Everything w-we've stolen is still at the warehouse." the thief spilled. "P-Please don't hurt me! I b-bruise easily."

Hijikata-san growled in annoyance at the thief's cowardly attitude and tossed him to Shimada-san. "Tie him up and leave him with the shopkeeper." Hijikata-san instructed. "The local authorities should swing by and pick the thief up while we go target their base of operations."

"Wait! You're not going to request back up from the local authorities?" asked Isao-kun.

"No." replied Hijikata-san. "The Shinsengumi is going to be the one to claim credit for this, not some half-baked authority figures that refused to move until the thief had stolen from one of them!"

It was impossible to argue with Hijikata-san when he was in his "glory and honor" mode. I just shrugged at Isao-kun because it was just easier to roll along with Hijikata-san when he was like this. Besides, I doubted that we would need back up. There were only seven people left and usually an organization would only send a member out into the field if the member was capable of handling himself. If the skill level of the thief we had just capture was the best they had to offer, then we would have nothing to worry about.

"We'll hit their base tonight under the cover of darkness for an element of surprise and if we hit their base tonight, they won't have a chance to prepare for our attack because the news of their comrade being captured wouldn't have made it back to them yet." Hijikata-san said.

* * *

"So are we all ready?" Hijikata-san asked all of us.

"D-Do I have to go in there t-too?" Isao-kun said nervously as he raised a shaky hand.

"Ha? Of course you do!" Hijikata-san snorted. "You did say you would help and if you gave your word that you're going to help then you should go all the way!"

"B-But…" Isao-kun said as he played with his fingers before drifting out into a quiet mumble. "I don't know how to fight…"

"W-What?!" Hijikata-san stuttered as he was stunned by Isao-kun's confession. "You don't know how to— Why didn't you tell me that before?!"

"Because I thought we were just going to capture a thief, not perform a raid on a smuggling operation!" Isao-kun sobbed as he turned away from Hijikata-san to rub his eyes dry. "I wanna go home..."

Hijikata-san just stared at a sobbing Isao-kun with a flabbergasted expression while Shimada-san avoided looking at Isao-kun while rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. I sighed and pulled Isao-kun over to where I was standing so I could whisper into his ear.

"Imagine just how IMPRESSED Sei-chan will be when she hears that her WONDERFUL husband-to-be helped take down the FEARSOME smuggling ring that had been PLAGUING the people of Osaka for the past several months." I whispered while emphasizing a few keywords. This ought to do the trick.

Isao-kun slowly turned bright red from a blush that had risen from his toes to the top of his head after I whispered my part into his ear. He instantly became courageous and he blew out what appeared to be steam from his nostrils as he grabbed a nearby wooden pole he could carry and use as a weapon.

"Just wait for me my lovely Sei-chan! I will become a hero that's worthy of your love!" Isao-kun declared loudly to the world before he charged recklessly towards the warehouse.

"Ha?!" Hijikata-san exclaimed as he stared at Isao-kun charging towards the warehouse by himself after leaving us in his dust. "Just what the hell did you say to him?"

"I wonder…" I said cheerfully as I grabbed my naginata and shuffled after Isao-kun. Hijikata-san facepalmed before he drew his katana and followed after me with Shimada-san.

Isao-kun, in his reckless charge, reached the doors of the warehouse before the rest of us. He kicked down the doors with strength he didn't possess before and ran inside while waving the wooden pole wildly over his head.

"Surrender now you vile thieves before I, the great and mighty Isao-sama, is forced to take action!" Isao-kun declared while he was still red-faced with confidence and waving his makeshift weapon around like a madman.

"What!?" one of the men inside cried in surprise.

"Hey! Look, it's only one man with a wooden stick! We can take him!" said another man.

Just as the men who were a part of the smuggling ring stood up to prepare themselves to deal with their intruder, Hijikata-san strolled into the warehouse with confidence with the rest of us behind him with real weapons, with cutting edges, drawn.

"I am Hijikata Toshizo, Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi and all of you are under arrest! All those who resist will be killed!" Hijikata-san yelled with unshakable authority.

"T-The Shinsengumi!" one of the smugglers cried in panic before giving the order, "Run!"

However, that order wasn't very effective. In fact, it was absolutely useless and counterproductive. After the men received the order to run, they all proceeded to run around the warehouse like headless chickens. We didn't have to do anything to apprehend the smugglers. Two of the smugglers ran into each other and knocked each other out; one tripped and fell down the stairs, knocking himself out; one tripped over a box of stolen goods and hit his head hard enough to pass out; one ran into one of the warehouse's support beams and passed out as well; and the last two smugglers tried to run out the back door only to crash into each other and knock each other out.

Hijikata-san just stood frozen in place as he stared on in disbelief at the smugglers' incompetence while Isao-kun continued to stand in place while waving the wooden pole around wildly and yelling, "Feel my wrath you vile evil-doers for the righteous shall not fall!"

When Hijikata-san finally shook off his disbelief, he facepalmed again. "I don't even know if I should be happy this raid ended well or cry at how pathetic all these smugglers were." Hijikata-san muttered under his breath.

"Well, at least this was an easy victory." I pointed out while Shimada-san agreed with me.

"P-Power surging uncontrollably!" Isao-kun declared as he continued to wave the wooden pole in the background. "Behold the scope of my newly awakened powers—" he managed to say before he accidentally hit his own head and knocked himself out as well. Hijikata-san did another facepalm. He was now sporting a nice bright red spot on his forehead from the number of times he smacked himself.

* * *

"I guess these guys weren't the thieves we were originally after." I said to Hijikata-san as we sifted through the stolen goods in the warehouse the following morning.

After all the smugglers were hauled away by the local authorities, we had been given the order to search through all the stolen goods to find the government official's family heirloom. The smuggling operation that those men formed was actually rather new, so they didn't have the chance to actually trade anything for Western weapons yet. The fact that the family heirloom and Isao-kun's missing comb was not in the stolen stash was proof that we got the wrong thieves.

"I need to get some fresh air." I sighed tiredly. I was exhausted. "I'm going to the second floor to get some fresh air. It's too stuffy in here."

Hijikata-san nodded absentmindedly as he continued to sort through the stolen goods. I put down the box I was sorting through next to Hijikata-san before I made my way to the second floor, where there were some windows open to let in fresh air. I took a seat next to the open window and stared blankly at the jade necklace on the small table directly across from me as I relaxed my stiff shoulders. However, I was snapped out of my little trance when a magpie flew into the room through the window and landed on the table. The bird stared at the jade necklace and picked at the necklace before grabbing the necklace with its beak and flying out the window with it. The magpie landed on a branch in a tree nearby and dropped the necklace into the hollow of that tree before flying off again. Wait…

_"Those damn things will make off with anything that they can carry that's shiny and ain't tied down. That thing from earlier was after my knife I left on the cutting board."_

_"Another piece of information that might help is that the thief will only steal from the floors above ground level if there is some opening to the floors above that connects to the outside."_

Don't tell me that the thief we were after all this time was a magpie…

"Hijikata-san!" I yelled so that he could hear me downstairs. "I think I know who the thief is!"

"What?!" Hijikata-san exclaimed as he scrambled up the stairs to get to the room I was in.

"I need you to climb that tree." I said while pointing to the tree with the hollow.

* * *

"Who would have thought that the thief was an azure-winged magpie?" Sannan-san said with an amused laugh as he drank his miso soup during dinner.

That magpie I observed was indeed the one responsible for all the thefts in Osaka in the past few months. When Hijikata-san climbed the tree and reached into the hollow, the first item he pulled out was the comb that Isao-kun had stolen from him. Isao-kun was so happy when the comb was returned to him that he nearly kissed Hijikata-san. That course of action ended poorly as Isao-kun was punched across the face by Hijikata-san. Isao-kun had certainly grown eccentric in the past couple of years we've been apart.

When the missing heirloom was returned to the government official, Hijikata-san received a small payment of 3 ryō for his efforts. But other than the money, there was no other real reward for solving this case. Hijikata-san sighed when he received the money and passed it off to me to put into the Shinsengumi funds. Now that all of our business was complete in Osaka, we would all be returning to Kyoto tomorrow morning.

"That's nothing to laugh about!" Hijikata-san protested. "You have no idea what I had to go through!"

"At least everything ended well." Shimada-san said good-naturedly as he took a bite of his dinner.

"It could have ended worse in so many other ways, so you should be thankful that it ended the way it did." I agreed cheerfully before I took my first sip of my miso soup.

As soon as I took a sip of the soup, I gagged. This time it was the taste of miso that upset my stomach, not the fish. I quickly put a hand over my mouth and ran to the open window and threw up out the window. Thankfully there was no one directly below on the streets. It would have been fairly nasty to have vomit fall on someone's head.

"Shizuka!" Hijikata-san exclaimed with worry as he ran over to my side and placed a hand on my back. "Tsk! So you are sick!"

"It's strange. I don't feel sick. I only threw up because the taste of miso was upsetting my stomach…" I said before drifting off.

Wait… Now that I think about it, my period was late, very late. I didn't realize my period was late until now because I was so busy helping Hijikata-san with the theft case. Not only was my period late but I was now becoming more fatigued easily. I was also more sensitive to certain scents on some days and my sense of taste was off. These were all classic signs of pregnancy. I honestly thought that my next pregnancy would be like the one I miscarried on, but I was clearly very wrong about that.

"Why didn't you tell me you were sick?" Hijikata-san scolded me as he gently pulled me away from the window.

"Because I'm not sick. I'm pregnant." I said in quiet realization as I gently placed a hand over my lower abdomen.

Hijikata-san paled. "Pregnant? You mean I dragged a pregnant woman around to help search for a thief? Kondou-san and Souji are going to kill me!" he cried as he placed both of his hands on his head in his panic. Poor Hijikata-san and his high stress level.

* * *

[1] Nattō (なっとう or 納豆) is a traditional Japanese food made from soybeans fermented with _Bacillus subtilis var. natto_. Some eat it as a breakfast food. Nattō may be an acquired taste because of its powerful smell, strong flavor, and slimy texture. In Japan nattō is most popular in the eastern regions, including Kantō, Tōhoku, and Hokkaido.


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 55**

"Of course I can do this. I'm pregnant, not brain-damaged. My condition doesn't change my personality." ― Christine Feehan, _Ruthless Game_

"Ahh," Hijikata-san let out a relieved breath he had been holding in, "we're finally back."

Upon the realization that I was pregnant back in Osaka, Hijikata-san instantly transformed into a mother hen and refused to let me out of his sight the whole time we were traveling back to headquarters. He always made sure that I had plenty of breaks, which I thought was pointless since we were traveling back to Kyoto by ferry and not by foot, and that I actually sat down during those breaks. He did not allow me to do anything physically straining either and when I complained his excuse was, "What if you fell or hurt yourself? I'm not going to allow you to have another miscarriage on my watch!" I was treated more like an invalid than the injured Sannan-san and I'm pretty sure Sannan-san got a laugh out of watching me deal with Hijikata-san's unwanted fussing.

"Well, if you would excuse me then." Shimada-san said with a brief bow and Hijikata-san nodded silently to dismiss Shimada-san. Shimada-san gave me a warm congratulatory smile once more before he excused himself to go find some dinner.

"Now shouldn't we be going to the main hall to get some dinner too?" Hijikata-san suggested.

"Why don't you and Sannan-san go ahead? I'll head to the kitchen and whip together some dinner for us from the leftovers." I said and just as Hijikata-san was about to object to me doing any physical labor, I cut him off. "Don't you dare say that I shouldn't be doing any work. The kitchen is my domain."

"Hijikata-kun, why don't you relax a bit?" Sannan-san said with a smile. "Nothing bad is going to happen to Shizuka-chan in the kitchen."

Hijikata-san looked at Sannan-san like Sannan-san suggested something crazy, but he then took a deep breath and let some of the tension drain out of his shoulders as he exhaled. "Fine," Hijikata-san yielded before he turned to give me a hard look, "BUT don't go lifting anything heavy! If you need to move something that's heavy then come to the main hall and request some help, got it?!"

"Yes, I understand." I sighed before I turned to Sannan-san and said with a stern voice, "Sannan-san, once you get to the main hall with Hijikata-san, don't even think of sneaking off to your room without eating dinner."

"Oh? What if I want to eat in my room?" Sannan-san challenged.

"Don't think you can fool me." I said with narrowed eyes and a finger pointed at him. "I know that if you go to your room then you won't eat. Hijikata-san, keep an eye on Sannan-san and don't let him leave the main hall without eating. Doctor's orders!"

"Yeah, got it." Hijikata-san nodded before he began steering Sannan-san towards the main hall. Sannan-san shot me a short glare before he slumped in defeat and obediently followed Hijikata-san to the main hall.

After I saw Sannan-san enter the main hall with Hijikata-san and was sure that Sannan-san wasn't going to make a break for it, I headed towards the kitchen to see what I could quickly throw together from the leftovers. Within the kitchen I found plenty of cooked rice still leftover from tonight's dinner along with some fresh raw fish, some miso soup, unused tofu, and some pickled vegetables. I could grill one of the fishes and use the remaining food to put together a standard meal for Hijikata-san, but feeding Sannan-san would require a different order of food. Sannan-san still couldn't eat with two hands, so I had to make something different that only required one hand and I was sure he was sick of all the rice balls he had eaten. Thankfully the raw fish was fresh. I could make some Edo-styled sushi for Sannan-san. Sushi was considered finger food and I was sure Sannan-san would appreciate something else besides rice balls. Besides, fish carried plenty of vitamin B12, which was what Sannan-san needed plenty of right now. As for me, honestly, my stomach was a tiny bit unsettled from the ferry ride back and I was afraid that I would throw up if I ate anything too heavy. I was probably going to just make tofu dengaku[1] from the unused tofu and drink the leftover soup for dinner.

"Ah, so there you are, Shizuka-chan." a kind voice said from behind me. I turned around to see Inoue-san smile at me kindly as he stepped into the kitchen through the doors I left open. "Welcome back."

"Inoue-san," I smiled back. "It's good to be back. What are you doing here? I thought you would be in the main hall eating with the others."

"Toshi-san requested that I go help you in the kitchens." Inoue-san answered as he took the fish I had in my hand and threw it into the pan to grill. "I'll take care of Toshi-san's and your food and you can take care of Sannan-san's food."

"Hijikata-san worries too much. You don't have to worry about my food." I told Inoue-san. "My stomach is a bit unsettled from the ferry ride back, so I can't really eat too much. I was just going to make a small plate of tofu dengaku and drink the leftover miso soup."

"Your stomach is feeling a bit tender from the ferry ride? You're not sick are you? You usually don't get affected by seasickness." he asked concernedly.

"No, I'm fine." I said. I did want to tell Inoue-san that that the reason my stomach was a little unsettled was because of my pregnancy, but I wanted to tell Souji I was pregnant before I told anyone else.

"If you say so." Inoue-san dropped the subject and focused on the fish he was grilling. "Now, let's focus and get this food ready to eat."

* * *

"Here, I'll get the door." I said as I opened the door to the main hall for Inoue-san since I was only carrying my own small tray of food while Inoue-san carried Hijikata-san's and Sannan-san's trays.

"Thank you." Inoue-san said to me before he stepped into the main hall. I closed the door behind me after I entered the room after Inoue-san.

"So there you are." Souji said with a warm happy smile when he spotted me. He quickly made room next himself and excitedly patted the empty spot while looking at me expectantly.

I giggled at Souji's enthusiasm and quickly went to sit at his side while Inoue-san place Sannan-san's and Hijikata-san's trays of food in front of them before he returned to his own seat. As soon as I sat down, Souji wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me against his side before he pressed a kiss onto the top of my head.

"You're finally back home." Souji mumbled in quiet relief to himself. "Two weeks was too long."

"I missed you too." I said before I gave him a light kiss on his cheek. His grip on me slackened slightly, after we had said our small greetings to each other, so I could eat.

"Damn! That looks really good!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed while ogling Sannan-san's food. "Fresh Edo-styled sushi, not the cured stuff you normally find in Kyoto! You aren't going to eat all of that by yourself, are you?"

"Oi! Shinpachi, did you really just ask that?" Sano-san reprimanded Shinpachi-san. Shinpachi-san just rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish grin as his stomach growled loudly.

"You bottomless pit." Heisuke sighed exasperatedly before turning to me cheerfully. "Welcome back, Shizuka-chan."

"It's nice to be back." I said warmly before shifting my attention to Shinpachi-san, "Still hungry, Shinpachi-san? Want some of my food?" I didn't have too much food to offer, but Shinpachi-san was still hungry and I didn't have much of an appetite.

"Yay! Shizuka-chan's the best!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed enthusiastically before he actually looked at what I was eating. Once he caught a glimpse of the meager food on my plate he furrowed his brows. "It's true that I'm still hungry, but I'm not so hungry that I'd steal food from someone that didn't have much to begin with. Why did ya give yourself so little food?"

I sighed and pushed my tray away. I had only taken a few bites of my meal and I was already starting to feel a bit queasy because, apparently, my body was saying no to anything with miso in it right now. I leaned my head against Souji shoulder while everyone looked at me with concern.

"I'm feeling a bit sick right now." I said honestly. "Why don't you go ahead and take my food right now. I don't feel like I can eat."

"Shizuka…" Souji said with a frown and a furrowed brow before placing his hand on my forehead. "No fever…"

"Did you catch something while you were away?" Otou-san asked with worry.

"No." I said before I quietly murmured to myself, "It's more like I caught something here before I left."

Souji raised a single eyebrow when he heard the last part of my comment as he rubbed my side with the arm he had looped around my waist.

"Umm," Chizuru-chan, who was quiet since I came in, spoke up. "Do you want me to give you a quick check up? I know I haven't been studying long, but I do have some experience from helping my chichi in the past."

I smiled at Chizuru-chan's offer. She was always ready to try to help a person in need. She really was a sweet girl.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm fine. I already know what's causing my loss of appetite right now." I answered.

"If you do know then you should take some precautionary measures right now to prevent your condition from worsening." said Saito-san.

Otou-san nodded in agreement with what Saito-san. "Some adept advice, Saito-kun." Otou-san said before turning to Souji. "Why don't you take Shizu-chan back to your room so she can get some rest? It'll be better for her recovery if she's well rested. I'll come and check on her in a bit."

"Huh? But I'm fine!" I protested. I wasn't sick and I didn't need to be sent to bed early!

Souji ignored my protest and quickly picked me up bridal style, temporally knock the air out of me. "Be a good girl and don't complain." Souji scolded as he carried me out the main hall and towards our room. Sannan-san and Hijikata-san were both holding back snickers as they mockingly waved me good-bye.

"Souji, put me down. I can walk." I said when we were approaching our room. I could walk by myself!

"I don't want to." Souji said as he simply held me up by balancing me on one arm and used his other hand to open the door to our room. Geez, wasn't I a bit too heavy to be carried with one arm?

Souji place me on the futon first before he lit the lanterns for light. When the room was properly lit, I could see a pile of unopened letters that had piled up on the desk when I was gone. It was strange, Souji usually dealt with the mail immediately and never let it sit unopened.

"Those are from my ani." Souji answered the questions floating around in my head. "The only reason I didn't burn them yet is because I never lit the brazier for heat while you were gone. You know how the cold never really bothers me."

"Are you sure you don't want to read them?" I asked. "I know it hurts to receive letters from her every time and you can have some closure if you just respond to one letter from her."

"… I don't know…" Souji sighed as he placed his swords on the stand above his side of the futon before sitting down on the futon in front of me. He quickly examined me for himself after he sat down.

"So, back to the main reason why we're back in our room so early." Souji said seriously. "And don't even think about not telling me the truth if you are sick. I saw Sannan-san's and Hijikata-san's mocking waves. I can always get Yamazaki-kun or Chizuru-chan to examine you and tell me the truth if you don't tell me what's going on."

"Well, it's nothing serious." I said before retracting that statement after some thought. "Actually, it might be, depending on how you look at the situation."

"So then, are you going to tell me what it is?" he asked impatiently. "I'm waiting."

I smiled coyly at Souji before I scooted over to sit right next to him and took his hand into mine. "Why don't I give you a hint and see if you can guess." I said before I laid his hand on my belly.

"Guess?" Souji mumbled perplexedly before his eyes grew wide in disbelief. "… It can't be… Are you serious?!"

"So do you know?" I asked with a small smile.

Souji quickly and abruptly cupped my face and pulled me into an excited kiss before he released my face to allow both of his hands to wander back down to my lower abdomen.

"I can't believe it…" Souji breathed out. "I'm going to be a chichi…" Souji then broke out in a large grin. He pressed a kiss on my belly before placing his ear against it as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

I laughed at his excited reaction as I ran my fingers through his hair. "You know, the baby's still too small for you to hear it or feel it move."

"I know." Souji said enthusiastically. "But it still doesn't make me want to do this any less. I bet there is already the beginnings of a small baby bump beneath your clothing. Do you know how far along you are?"

"Probably around four to five weeks along." I said gently. "Do you have any preference regarding the gender?"

"Just as long as the baby is born healthy, then any gender is fine." Souji said as he sat up again so he could pull me into his lap. "Although, I am hoping for a girl."

"Not a boy?" I asked curiously. Most people actually preferred to have a boy first. "If the baby's a boy then you don't have to worry about producing an heir later."

"I want a boy too, but I rather have a miniature Shizuka running around first." Souji said as he tucked his face into the crook of my neck. "Besides, who says we're going to stop at one child? I want at least eight."

At least eight?! As in eight kids as bare minimum?! Easy for him to say. It's not like he's going to be the one carrying them around for nine months before pushing them out of a tiny hole. I knew Souji liked kids but I didn't think he would want so many. I always thought two was a good number, but if Souji really wanted at least eight then I would at least try to give him as many as I could. Although, I preferably would not want to give birth eight times.

"So when did you find out that you were pregnant?" Souji asked.

"On the last day I was in Osaka with Hijikata-san and the others." I said. "You know, Hijikata-san nearly pulled his hair out when he discovered that he dragged a pregnant woman around Osaka on a hunt for a thief."

"Wait, Hijikata-san dragged you around on a thief hunt?" Souji asked in a near feral snarl. Oops. I should have thought about what I was going to say first.

"Well, it's not like we knew better until after the whole fiasco." I quickly defended Hijikata-san. "And it's not like the thief was dangerous. It turned out that the thief we were after was a bird." I said, purposely leaving out the silly raid on the warehouse.

"That anal nitpicking jackass is a dead man walking." Souji mumbled darkly as he ignored everything I had just said.

"Oh! You'll never guess who I met again in Osaka!" I quickly said to derail Souji's thoughts of premeditated murder. I quickly sent Isao-kun a silent apology in my head for what I was about to do. "I met Isao-kun again."

"Tsubaki-kun?" Souji asked as his face grew incredibly dark as, what appeared to be killer intent, oozed out of him. "I thought I got rid of him for good." he growled to himself under his breath.

"He's a tailor in Osaka now and he helped solve the thefts in Osaka. Hijikata-san made a deal with him before we left. Isao-kun is going to be the Shinsengumi's main tailor now so he can get some business from us while we get discounts." I explained.

"Oh? I don't suppose I'll be seeing him anytime soon?" Souji asked with a hand twitching towards his swords not so discreetly.

"He'll probably come around headquarters a couple of times in the future, but he'll be busy for the first few months since he's getting MARRIED soon." I said, making sure to emphasize the married part so that Souji would know that Isao-kun no longer carried that crush that caused all the trouble in the first place.

"Hmm… I guess I won't have to beat him up AS much now." Souji commented.

"Wouldn't it be better if you didn't beat him up at all?" I suggested weakly, knowing full well that Souji wasn't going to listen to this suggestion.

I'm sorry Isao-kun, but if Souji decided to target Hijikata-san more intensely than he normally did then the whole dynamic of the Shinsengumi would be thrown off balance .I was a firm believer of "don't shit where you eat". Now the tradeoff was that I had to keep Souji busy whenever Isao-kun came to headquarters for business, something easier said than done.

"Souji? Shizu-chan?" both of us heard Otou-san suddenly called concernedly through the door. Otou-san was probably here to check up on my health now.

"Kondou-san?" Souji said. "You can come in."

Otou-san opened the door and entered when he received permission from Souji, not like Otou-san needed it to begin with. I'm sure Souji would have been just as thrilled if Otou-san entered the room without announcing himself first. Otou-san closed the door and sat down next to the futon and in front of me and Souji.

"Shizu-chan, how are you feeling now?" Otou-san asked me with worry still visible on his face.

"I'm fine now. It was just the taste of miso that made me feel a bit sick." I said.

"So what's wrong? You did tell Yukimura-kun that you knew what was wrong." Otou-san asked.

"Shizuka's pregnant." Souji blurted out cheerfully with a massive grin. I bet he couldn't hold that in.

"Oh, I s—" Otou-san said before he truly processed Souji had blurted out. "WHAT?! Truly?!"

I nodded excitedly and Otou-san let out a loud joyful laugh at the news.

"Hahaha! I can't believe it!" Otou-san said as he pulled Souji into a congratulatory hug. Since I was still sitting on Souji's lap, when Souji got pulled into the hug, I got squished between the two men and I had to clear my throat to get their attention. "Oops, sorry there, Shizu-chan." Otou-san apologized.

Otou-san released Souji from the hug and me by extension, he pat Souji on the shoulder before he place a hand on my belly.

"I'll go out and purchase a hara-obi for you tomorrow so we can go get it blessed at the temple." Otou-san said to me before he removed his hand.

"Already? Isn't that a bit early?" I asked.

A hara-obi was something that Japanese women started to wear during the fifth month of pregnancy. It was essentially a piece of cloth, was often white, that was thirty-two feet in length and about half a foot wide. As one would guess from the obi part of the name, the hara-obi is used to wrap the abdomen of a pregnant woman, except that it was worn underneath the kimono rather than over it, like a normal obi.

The functions of the hara-obi were somewhat useless in my mind though. The main functions of this contraption was to keep the baby small to ensure an easier delivery for the mother, to protect the baby in case the mother fell or was involved in an accident of some sort, to support the back of the mother, and to keep the baby warm. On the list of reasons why women should wear the hara-obi, most of them were false. In regard to the hara-obi keeping the baby safe in case the mother fell, the hara-obi was normally made from cotton and when wrapped around the abdomen, it would normally be no thicker than an extra kimono layer. Unless the thin cotton layer could act like a metal shield, the hara-obi made the baby no safer than normal. Then on the terms of the hara-obi keeping the baby small so it be would easier to deliver, that didn't really work. If the baby is going to grow then a flimsy piece of cloth was not going to stop the baby's growth. The best way to keep the baby from becoming too large was for the mother to watch her diet during the pregnancy. As for the obi keeping the baby warm, that was completely false too. The baby is kept inside the mother's womb during pregnancy and the mother's body temperature will remain constant at 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit regardless of the mother's clothing.

The only thing that I believed the hara-obi would be helpful with was supporting the mother's back. The obi was really similar to a maternity belt, so I figured that it would work the same way in supporting the mother's back. However, while the hara-obi was somewhat useless medically, it was ingrained into the culture and the cultural value was what I saw as important. When a pregnant woman received her hara-obi, she was supposed to take it with her mother and mother-in-law to a Shinto shrine where it could be prayed upon and blessed to ensure a healthy baby and a healthy delivery. The blessed obi would then be wrapped around the mother's midsection so the mother and the baby would be surrounded by prayers and good wishes. It pretty much acted as a good luck charm and gave a placebo effect of wellness.

"It's never too early to receive blessings." Otou-san answered excitedly. "Especially if the baby is going to be Souji's heir."

"Eh? What do you mean by my 'heir'?" Souji asked in surprise. "Then wouldn't the baby need to be a boy? How can you tell the baby's going to be a boy already?"

"Oh, that's easy." Otou-san said. "If the belly protrudes more then the baby is a boy. If the belly is rounder then the baby is a girl."

"Really?" I said disbelievingly. There was no scientific proof for that. "I seriously doubt people can tell the gender of the baby by the shape of the haha's abdomen."

"Is that so?" Otou-san asked. "That's what all the midwives told me that when Tsune was pregnant and they were right when Tama-chan was born."

"That was just luck .It's not hard to be correct about the gender when there is a fifty-fifty chance of guessing correctly." I said. Well, not unless the baby was born a hermaphrodite, but that was extremely rare and unlikely to happen.

"Ah, well that is true…" Otou-san said as he pondered what I said. "Anyways, I should be leaving so you can get some rest since you're probably tired from traveling while pregnant."

"Alright. Goodnight, Otou-san." I said to bid him goodnight.

"Goodnight my dear." Otou-san said before he kissed my forehead and stood up. "Watch over her, Souji."

"I will." Souji answered as he gently placed his hand on my belly again. "Sleep well, Kondou-san."

Otou-san smiled and nodded in approval before he literally skipped out of the room.

"I don't have to sleep now, do I?" I asked Souji after Otou-san left the room. "It's still pretty early."

"I guess it IS still pretty early." Souji said as he pulled the kanzashi out of my hair and pulled my hair out of its confines.

"Did anything interesting happen while I was away?" I asked as I brought my hair over my shoulder so I could run my fingers through it.

"Nothing interesting." Souji said as he eased me off his lap so he could stand up to go put my kanzashi on the desk. "Just your typical patrol rounds and babysitting Chizuru-chan."

"It must have been pretty boring then."

"It was." Souji answered plainly before returning to where I was sitting so that he could lay his head on my lap and press his ear against my belly. He laid quietly on my lap with his ear against my belly for several long minutes before he grinned up at me again and said, "Hey, I wanna see something really fast."

"What is it?" I asked before squeaking in surprise when he pulled my obi loose, "Souji?!"

He just merely continued grinning at me before he stood up and pulled me to my feet. With my obi removed, he quickly set off to remove all my layers of my kimono before he finally stripped me down to nothing but my koshimaki.

"Souji?" I asked again when he slowed down and looked softly at my lower abdomen. He then carefully placed his hand over the uncovered, small baby bump that had developed over the past few weeks while I was in Osaka, as his grin morphed into a soft smile.

Hmm… Now that I think about, without clothing on, it was pretty obvious that I was pregnant despite how small the bump was. Just how did I, myself, miss the fact that I was pregnant?

"I knew there was the beginnings of a baby bump…" Souji whispered to himself in awe, snapping me out of my thoughts, as he stroked it gently before teasing me playfully, "You must be pretty blind if you didn't notice it until recently. It IS your body."

"Hey!" I objected with a pout. "I was preoccupied with other things at the moment."

Souji just chuckled at my response before he picked me up again so he could sit back down on the futon with me cradled in his lap. As soon as he settled back down on the futon, he splayed his hand gently over the small baby bump with a peaceful smile sitting on his lips. I had never before seen Souji so happy and at peace with himself.

…

…

…

Although, at the same time, I had to wonder how long Souji was going to keep me half naked in his lap like this. It wasn't exactly spring yet so it was still pretty cold. Souji seemed to snap out of his daze when I wiggled closer to him for heat.

"Hmm? What is it, Shizuka?" he asked while looking completely confused.

"It's still winter and if you haven't noticed, I'm half naked here." I pointed out dryly as I suppressed a shiver. "While we are inside, I am still super sensitive to the cold."

"Oh shit… Sorry about that. I…uh…kind of dazed off there for a moment." Souji said with a faint blush on his cheeks as he averted his eyes a bit in embarrassment. But his embarrassment didn't last for long. He glimpsed at the closed door briefly before he grinned at me mischievously again and tugged my koshimaki loose too.

"Uh, Souji?" I said in confusion. "Cold usually means that I need to put on more layers of clothing, not remove my last piece of clothing."

"Well, it's much more effective to share body heat from skin-on-skin contact, right?" he said rather loudly with an impish smirk. It was almost like he was making an announcement. "I always did prefer it more when we slept naked together, like how we always do after sex."

"N-Naked?! S-S-Sex?!" a muffled feminine voice that sounded suspiciously like Chizuru-chan squeaked from the other side of the closed door.

"SHH! Chizuru, they'll hear you!" came another voice that sounded suspiciously like Heisuke this time.

"Nah. They're probably too occupied to notice us."

"Sure, Shinpachi, speak louder." then came Sano-san slightly sarcastic voice. "I don't think the whole world heard you."

Then a thud soon followed.

"Saito-san?!"

"Aw crap! I forgot how Saito can't handle these type of things. Shinpachi, Heisuke, help me move Saito before Hijikata-san comes by and sees this. I don't want to explain to Hijikata-san why Saito is passed out in the hallway in front of Souji's and Shizuka's room."

"R-Right! Come on, Chizuru. You're coming too."

"O-Okay! Coming, Heisuke-kun!"

Souji snorted in amusement after the voices and the footsteps faded away. "I figured they were there. Though, I didn't think that Chizuru-chan would be with them too." he said wryly as he tucked me into the futon under the blanket before focusing on removing his own clothing. "It's impossible to keep anything private around here. By tomorrow, everyone in the Shinsengumi will know you're pregnant."

* * *

Souji was correct in his statement. By the next morning, everyone indeed knew I was pregnant. Everyone from all the captains to the lowest ranking foot soldiers. There was nothing that spread faster in headquarters than gossip. And they say women gossip too much? I'd say that men were just as guilty if not more.

And also by the next morning, there were already big changes occurring on my chores list. I had to fight my way through the captains to get into the kitchen and once I got into the kitchen, I got kicked out after being told that I was not allowed to cook. Apparently Hijikata-san mentioned to some CERTAIN people about my hypersensitive sense of smell and how I would often feel sick when I had to cook. This resulted in all the captains being placed on a rotational schedule for kitchen duty for the duration of my pregnancy. This discussion also resulted in me being banned from most other chores I normally took care of. Now the only tasks I was allowed to do was my medical tasks for the Shinsengumi, since I was still the most qualified, and the laundry.

* * *

[1] Tofu with miso glaze.


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter 56**

"The further you get away from yourself, the more challenging it is. Not to be in your comfort zone is great fun." ― Benedict Cumberbatch

"Are you sure you don't need my help to prepare breakfast." I asked Souji and Saito-san as they busied themselves with various tasks around the kitchen.

Upon learning of my pregnancy and my adverse reaction to some certain scents in the kitchen during my early weeks of pregnancy, I was completely banned from preparing meals. What happened now was that the captains now paired off and had a rotational system when it came to deciding who was on kitchen duty. However, I thought that completely banning me from cooking was unreasonable. Sure, I was nauseous the first few weeks, but now that I hit my thirteenth week, the raging hormones that influenced nausea had calmed down and I no longer suffered from nausea as often, or I'd like to believe. But at the same time that some of my nausea was starting to disappear, I was starting to show through my clothing. That resulted in everyone being afraid that I would strain myself if I did any "strenuous" chores and, apparently, Souji believed that cooking was too strenuous for me because I often felt sick around half-cooked foods and the other guys just decided to roll with whatever Souji said.

"No, you're not cooking." Souji said with some annoyance as he threw in more firewood into the fire. "Besides, Chizuru-chan was supposed to help us in the kitchen this morning, not sleep in. I'm going to go wake her up."

"Oh! Why don't I take over maintaining the fire for you while you go wake Chizuru-chan up?" I suggested as I was eager to finally be able to do something in the kitchen again. Before I was pregnant, the kitchen was my domain and it felt really weird not to be working in the kitchen anymore.

Souji shot me a small annoyed glance before he walked over to where I was standing only to pick me up by my hips and deposit me on a nearby counter.

"Sit there and be good." Souji said to me with an expectant look before turning to Saito-san. "Hajime-kun, make sure Shizuka doesn't stand up and attempt to work while I go wake Chizuru-chan up."

Saito-san gave a silent nod of agreement before he went back to stirring the cooking soup. Souji turned back to me with a pleased expression on his face causing me to sigh in defeat before giving him a small smile. He rubbed the baby bump gently for a few seconds before he kissed my forehead briefly and left the kitchen to go get Chizuru-chan. When Souji left the kitchen I made a quick move to get off the counter to do some work, but froze when Saito-san looked at me from the corner of his eye.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Saito-san said to me without turning from the pot in front of him. Completely defeated, I sighed once more before I yielded to Souji's requests.

"I don't understand why Souji won't let me help around in the kitchen." I complained to Saito-san. "My morning sickness stopped two weeks ago and the scent of half-cooked food really doesn't make me nauseous enough to be a problem anymore. Well, at least not enough to make me actually throw up."

"You may not suffer so much from nausea as greatly anymore, but you get dizzy occasionally now, right?" Saito-san said. "Souji is probably afraid that you'll lose balance in the kitchen and hurt yourself. Besides, while working in the kitchen you will have to deal with fire and I know Souji does not want you staring at the fire because it will give the baby birthmarks."

I exhaled loudly, more superstition I could live without. Where did all these superstitious beliefs come from anyways?

"Well, if you won't let me help physically, can I at least give you a suggestion?" I asked. The vegetables that Souji prepared a bit back were really bothering me. He used far too much soy sauce to season them and they were probably so salty that they were bitter.

"What is it?" Saito-san asked.

"Souji added too much soy sauce to the vegetables from earlier and you should probably wash off the excess soy sauce and season them again."

Saito-san took his focus off the soup and went over to where Souji placed the vegetables to sample a small piece. Upon putting a small piece in his mouth, Saito-san shuddered a bit when he tasted the over-salted vegetables before he carried the dish to a nearby bucket of water to wash the vegetables off. When he finished washing the vegetables off, he placed them back on the dish and returned the dish to its original location without redoing the seasoning.

"Aren't you going to season the vegetables?" I asked.

"No." Saito-san said bluntly. "Too much salt is bad for the body."

"Yes, that is true, but too little salt is also bad for the body." I retorted, but Saito-san ignored me as his focus resumed on the soup.

An annoyed sigh drew my attention to the doorway, Souji had returned from his self-appointed task of waking Chizuru-chan up.

"Was waking Chizuru-chan up so difficult that it warrants so much annoyance?" I asked Souji as he made his way back to the stove.

"She wakes up slowly." Souji said as he resumed his position at the stove. "You'd think that she could at least wake up on time to help in the kitchen since we are giving her room and board while helping her search for her missing otou-san."

Souji hadn't really warmed up to Chizuru-chan yet since her arrival and same with most of the other guys. While many of them did treat her a lot nicer than Souji did, they still mostly kept their distance. No one would want to get attached to a person they may be forced to kill in the future, especially if said person was a sweet girl. Chizuru-chan, on the other hand, probably didn't warm up too much to the guys either in the few months she was stuck here. I could see how nervous and scared she felt around the guys. The way she also attached herself to my side when I was around also spoke in volumes about how uncomfortable she felt around the captains. Chizuru-chan still probably thought of the Shinsengumi as a group of terrifying men that killed all too easily.

"I'm sorry for being late!" a feminine voice shouted at the doorway after the sounds of rushed footsteps. Chizuru-chan entered the kitchen in great haste as she looked around for any tasks she could help with.

"Good morning, Chizuru-chan." I said kindly as she entered the kitchen. She smiled brightly at me, but was interrupted by Saito-san just as she was about to respond to my morning greeting.

"Yukimura, don't shout…" Saito-san scolded her as he continued to stare at the pot he was using with a serious expression. "Many of our warriors have rounds that do not end until it is nearly dawn. I like to let them sleep as long as possible before they must start the day."

"…Ah, I didn't realize. I'm sorry if I caused any trouble." Chizuru-chan apologized with a deep bow.

"There is no need for you to apologize." Saito-san said. "It would be best if you were more careful in the future, but there was no trouble."

"But…it was my job to prepare breakfast this morning, and I overslept…" Chizuru-chan replied while looking down at the floor. It was obvious that she was feeling a bit guilty for sleeping in while the others were working hard.

Saito-san pulled his contemplative gaze from the pot he was using to look at Chizuru-chan with an indifferent expression on his face.

"You appear to be mistaken." Saito-san said bluntly. "Your actions this morning makes no difference to us."

"Huh?" Chizuru-chan asked in confusion.

"Did you believe we would be unable to make the meal without your assistance?" Saito-san continued. "That is incorrect. Warriors must be skilled in preparing their own food. The only thing we require from you is your help in finding your otou-san, Kodo-san."

Chizuru-chan's posture sagged upon hearing what Saito-san had to say to her. According to what Saito-san said, Chizuru-chan was pretty much a useless burden the captains had to put up with while searching for her father. That had to hurt to hear such a statement. No one liked to be called useless. However, I disagreed with everyone else's thought pattern so far. A person is only useless if you regard that person as useless. Every person is useful and the trick was to find what the person would be useful for.

"I'm sorry…" Chizuru-chan said as she deflated quite noticeably. "But… Um… I'd still like to help out, if that's okay. I want to be useful somehow, if I can. I don't want to die…"

Die? Where did she get the idea that we would kill her if she wasn't useful? My eyes drifted to Souji. Of course… Souji was probably having some fun at Chizuru-chan's expense. Saito-san pulled away from the pot upon hearing what Chizuru-chan had to say and undid the tie holding back his sleeves before completely focusing on Chizuru-chan.

"Did someone tell you that if you didn't contribute in some manner that we would be forced to kill you? That you were required to work?" asked Saito-san.

"Y-Yes…" Chizuru-chan nervously answered back as she non-discreetly inched closer to where I was seated for comfort and nodded.

Saito-san and I looked at each other before he sighed heavily in response, "Souji… don't feed her lies. We need her to find Yukimura Kodo. We can't kill her for oversleeping."

Souji, who was kneeling on the floor to check the fire heating the stove, stood back up and turned towards Saito-san. "Well, I know that." Souji said. "I mean, if we could kill her for sleeping in while the rest of us can't, I would have done it already. I just figured if she's going to mooch off of us, she might as well work for it. Make herself useful to us at least."

"She IS being useful." I pointed out in defense of Chizuru-chan. "She's been assisting me with small tasks while I conduct research for Sannan-san's nerve graft. Plus, she's been helping with laundry for the past week."

Saito-san sighed before addressing Souji, "It is not your position to determine these things. Go add wood to the fire."

"Yeah, yeah." Souji answered as both men resumed making breakfast while Chizuru-chan just stood there, gaping in slight confusion.

"U-Uh, um, so… Is there something I can help you with here?" Chizuru-chan asked once she got her voice back.

"Could you finish preparing the soup?" Saito-san answered. "You know where the miso is stored, correct?"

"Yes!" Chizuru-chan said as she brightened up once more when she was given something to do.

Chizuru-chan had prepared a few meals in this kitchen before, so we didn't have to worry about her having to find her way around. Finally with something to do at last, Chizuru-chan quickly set to work as her nervousness started to fade.

"Oh, let me help." I said as I pushed myself off the counter so I could go over to Chizuru-chan's side, but was stopped when Souji looped his arm around my waist.

"And what do you think you're doing?" Souji said as he raised an eyebrow at me. "Remember the last time you said that? You felt nauseous for the whole day last time you helped cook."

I pouted at Souji. What he said was true, but just because I happened to feel a little sick after I cooked last time didn't mean it was going to happen this time. Souji chuckled a bit when he saw my pout before he led me outside.

"Why don't we keep you away from the strong scent of half-cooked foods for now until we're sure you won't feel sick from catching the wrong scent." Souji said gently.

"But I'm just so use to cooking for everyone every day and now that I'm not cooking for everyone anymore… I feel like I'm being lazy while everyone is busy working." I admitted quietly.

"You ARE doing something, just something different." Souji said with a gentle smile as he laid his hand on my belly. "Growing a baby inside of your body is very tiring, isn't it? If you still want to do something then go finish making the hara-obi."

Ah yes, the hara-obi. True to his word, Otou-san did head out to buy one the next day after I told him of my pregnancy, but while Otou-san was out at the market, he ran into Kyoko-chan's mother. When Otou-san told Kumiko-san the news, she first congratulated Otou-san before insisting that a pregnant woman should make her own hara-obi to ensure maximum protection from any bad luck that may harm the baby. Taking the advice to heart, Otou-san went to go buy some cloth for me so I could make my own hara-obi instead. Shortly receiving the cloth that Otou-san bought for me at headquarters, Kumiko-san showed up and quickly taught me how to make the hara-obi. Several special charms, made from the pregnant woman's husband's loincloth, would have to be sewn onto a hara-obi to complete it.

Oh, I remember flushing bright red when Kumiko-san told me I needed one of Souji's loincloths. It wasn't touching Souji's loincloth that made me embarrassed, but it was the fact that I needed to ask Souji for one so I could wear part of it around my waist. Just the thought of asking Souji for one of his loincloths made my ears burn. Kumiko-san laughed at my reaction and patted my cheek while calling me cute before she gave me a small push towards Souji as he was walking through the gate just as he was returning from his patrol. Souji had raised his eyebrow with amusement at me when I stuttered and blushed while asking for one of his loincloths. He grinned at me mischievously before he ushered me into the privacy of our room. There in the private, he went ahead and pulled off the loincloth he was currently wearing at that moment and handed it to me with a teasing smirk while he was butt-naked. If I was bright red before then there were no words to describe what color I was afterwards.

"The hara-obi? How did you know I'm not done sewing it yet?" I asked. Souji grinned mischievously at me before he answered.

"Well, I just happened to notice that you haven't used the loincloth I gave to you yet." he said teasingly as I turned pink.

"O-Oh…" I stuttered in response before I quickly turned around to head back to our room. "T-Then I'm going back to finish it now." I said before I quickly excused myself. I heard Souji's laughter behind me as I sped back to our room in great haste.

* * *

"Is that…?" a voice I hadn't heard in a while said behind me as I worked on the hara-obi. I jumped a bit in surprise before turning around to see Kyoko-chan standing behind me.

"Kyoko-chan!" I squealed in girlish delight as I dropped everything I was holding so I could jump to my feet to hug her. "It's been ages since we last spoke in person. When did you get back from the village?"

"Just last night." Kyoko-chan chirped. "Hijikata asked Kenji to come to headquarters today the moment we arrived back home and I decided to come with. So much has happened while we were apart! You got pregnant while I got married! We have so much to catch up on! But, first things first. What is that?" she asked as she pointed to a fragment of Souji's loincloth I was working with.

"Well to be blunt, that's part of a loincloth." I said as both Kyoko-chan and I sat down on the floor. I quickly resumed work on the hara-obi as we spoke to each other.

"A what?" Kyoko-chan said while looking taken back by my statement.

"Yeah… Please don't ask what it's for."

"Okay… Skipping over that…" Kyoko-chan said before grinning at me impishly. "So now that we're both married women, we can talk about some more risqué topics."

"Risqué? What do you have in mind?"

"Well, we can start by talking about what our husbands like to do in bed." she suggested as she wiggled her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

"Oh? Then I guess I'm going first." I said with a giggle. This sounded like it would be a fun topic to discuss. "This is what Souji likes to do when we're in bed togeth—"

I never got to finish my sentence. Just as I was about to elaborate on what Souji liked to do, Chizuru-chan called me through the shut doors.

"Shizuka-chan! Breakfast is ready!" Chizuru-chan said through the doors.

"Huh? Who's that?" Kyoko-chan whispered.

"Yukimura Chizuru." I whispered back.

"You mean—?!"

"Yeah."

"Then what is she doing here?" Kyoko-chan asked quietly.

"It's a long story." I said. "I bet you Hijikata-san asked Kenji-san to come to headquarters the moment you guys returned to Kyoto because of the situation regarding her."

"Shizuka-chan?" Chizuru-chan called through the door again when I didn't answer.

"Coming!" I answered. Kyoko-chan took this chance to get up and slam the door open so she could get a glimpse of the girl in question.

"EH?!" Chizuru-chan cried in surprise when Kyoko-chan grabbed her the second the door opened. Kyoko-chan quickly spun around with Chizuru-chan in her arms and dragged Chizuru-chan into the room.

"This is a crime!" Kyoko-chan wailed when she placed Chizuru-chan on her feet inside the room. "How can such a cute looking girl be running around while dressed like a boy! I bet this is all stick-stuck-up-his-ass's fault!"

"'Stick-stuck-up-his-ass'? Um…" Chizuru-chan said while looking extremely confused and flustered. "W-Who are you? And how do you know I'm a girl?"

"Because you're too cute to be a boy." Kyoko-chan said cheerfully before tugging on Chizuru-chan's cheeks.

I laughed heartedly at the whole scene before I put down my materials and stood up. "This is Fuma Kyoko, a close friend." I said as I helped Chizuru-chan out of Kyoko-chan's grip.

"Oh! Nice to meet you!" Chizuru-chan quickly bowed politely to Kyoko-chan. "My name is Yukimura Chizuru!"

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Kyoko-chan returned the greeting. "Were you sent to gather all the captains for breakfast?"

"Oh no! I forgot!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed as she quickly rushed to the doorway. "Sannan-san asked me to get Hijikata-san! I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly!" she said with another bow before rushing out the door.

"Sannan-san sent her to get Hijikata-san?" I mumbled as I watched Chizuru-chan scurry away. "I better go with her. Sannan-san probably just asked Chizuru-chan to get Hijikata-san to have some fun at her expense."

"Hmm… Alright then." said Kyoko-chan. "I'll see you in a bit after you've had breakfast then. I'll go join Kenji in messing with Yamazaki for the meantime."

Kyoko-chan quickly vanished as she turned the corner of the hallway before I quickly headed in the direction Chizuru-chan ran in earlier. However, it didn't really matter how quickly I headed towards Hijikata-san's room because Chizuru-chan had gotten to it before I could catch up with her. Sannan-san probably had planned to have Chizuru-chan walk in on Hijikata-san while he was changing just to annoy him. Chizuru-chan looked flustered while she was standing outside Hijikata-san's room and was talking to herself when I caught up. I probably arrived too late.

"What should I do? He must think I'm a horrible person with no manners…!" Chizuru-chan said to herself. "Of course, Hijikata-san does have a surprisingly handsome look about his face…"

Oh? What's this? Another woman that has fallen for Hijikata-san's undeniably handsome charms? I held back a snicker as I continued to listen to Chizuru-chan speak to herself as she was completely unaware I was standing next to her.

"I…didn't mean to stare. He IS very attractive, but…" she continued without noticing that Hijikata-san had finally emerged from his room.

"What the hell kind of excuse is that…? You hit your head recently?" Hijikata-san said in a bad mood as he caught what she said.

"Ah!" Chizuru-chan screamed in surprise as she quickly jumped around to see Hijikata-san glaring at her.

"So? Why have you come all the way to my room? Spit it out." Hijikata-san said in an icy tone. "Shizuka, why didn't you stop her from entering my room? You know what my routine is by now." he asked me after he turned his head towards me. Chizuru-chan jumped once more in surprise when she realized I was standing next to her.

"I was going to stop her." I answered. "But I got here a bit too late."

Hijikata-san sighed at my response before turning back to Chizuru-chan with a glare. "So, are you going to answer me?"

"R-Right!" Chizuru-chan nervously stuttered. "It was time for everyone to gather for breakfast, and, er, I came to get you."

Hijikata-san continued to glare at Chizuru-chan quietly, causing her to fidget in place before speaking up.

"Um…?" Chizuru-chan said unsurely.

"Chizuru, don't tell me you came here voluntarily."

"What? Um, yes…?"

"Who set you up for this?"

"That would be Sannan-san." I cut into the conversation.

"Umm, he mentioned that you had been up late working last night, and he wanted to make sure you were okay." Chizuru-chan explained. "He seemed worried about you…"

"He's doing this to annoy me and no other reason. He's having fun at your expense." Hijikata-san said as his glare disappeared. "Sending a civilian on a mission to check up on the Oni."

"You think so…?" Chizuru-chan asked as she wondered about what Hijikata-san said.

"They just like to needle at each other for fun." I explained to Chizuru-chan. "Don't take anything that just happened to heart."

"Oh…" Chizuru-chan said quietly with a small nod.

"Oh, Toshi and Yukimura-kun…" I heard Otou-san's voice from behind me as he strode up to our small gathering in the hallway. "I don't normally see you two together like this." he said without sensing the strained vibe between those two before turning to me with a, "Good morning, Shizu-chan! How are you feeling today?"

"Good morning, Otou-san!" I chirped cheerfully. "I'm feeling pretty good today."

"Kondou-san! Good morning!" Chizuru-chan said after me with a quick bow.

"Why, the same to you!" Otou-san said cheerfully before asking, "You guys are just standing here; did something happen?"

"Could say the same about you." Hijikata-san said to Otou-san. "What are you doing? It's time for breakfast and you're not in there already."

"Ah, uh, well actually… It's a really nice day today, so I felt like going for a walk." Otou-san answered with a big grin. "After morning training ended, I just started walking around outside headquarters. It was very refreshing! …Did I stay out too late? I lost track of time for a while, so I rushed back here. I hope I didn't trouble anyone."

"Just like you to wander off. You're fine." Hijikata-san said as he broke out into a smile. "Let's just head over now."

Wasting no more words, Hijikata-san turned and started to walk towards the main hall. Otou-san and I started to follow after Hijikata-san, but then Otou-san paused and turned around to face Chizuru-chan, who was still standing in the same place. I stopped walking when Otou-san paused to face Chizuru-chan.

"Yukimura-kun, do I recall correctly that you were in charge of breakfast today?" Otou-san asked.

"Y-Yes, I was!" Chizuru-chan quickly scrambled to answer.

"Ah, excellent. Now I'm looking forward to breakfast even more." Otou-san said happily. "Everything you cook tastes like home. I can tell you put your heart into it. I'm glad you came to stay with us. I feel lucky that I get to eat your delicious food when Shizu-chan can't cook."

"Oh no, it's no trouble…" Chizuru-chan said while looking happy that Otou-san complemented her cooking.

"Some of the men have no idea how to season correctly." Otou-san continued as he suppressed a shudder. "Souji is the worst don't you think?"

"U-Um… Uh… His food IS rather…er, bold." Chizuru-chan said as she settled for the polite way of saying that Souji's food tasted...nasty. I giggled at Chizuru-chan's confession.

"Then you might want to watch out for the vegetables at breakfast today." I added gleefully on to what Chizuru-chan said.

"Then Toshi's cooking is even worse." Otou-san said. "He's not allowed in the kitchen anymore, but seriously, the porridge he use to make back in the day was—"

"Hey! Kondou-san! Shut it!" Hijikata-san interrupted as his bark echoed down the hallway causing Otou-san's posture to shoot up straighter than wooden board.

"Oh that's right. Everyone's waiting on us. We must hurry!" Otou-san said before he quickly spun and ran down the hallway towards the main hall, causing Chizuru-chan to giggle.

"Well, we should get going too, huh?" I said as I offered Chizuru-chan a friendly smile. "By the way, going back to what Otou-san was saying about Hijikata-san's porridge—"

"I can hear you, Shizuka!" another one of Hijikata-san's shouts echoed down the hallway.

I grinned before whispering into Chizuru-chan's ear, "His porridge was so bad that if you left a bowl of it out at night, the next morning there would be dead rats around the empty bowl. His porridge was so bad that the rats that ate it during the night would die the next morning."

"EH?!" Chizuru-chan cried as her voice bounced off the walls.

"SHIZUKA! DON'T FEED HER LIES!" Hijikata-san yelled. How did he hear me? Maybe he was just reacting to Chizuru-chan's cry of surprise from earlier. Oh well. Even though Hijikata-san yelled at me not to lie to Chizuru-chan, I wasn't lying. What I said about the rats was completely true.

* * *

"Ah, finally. What took you so long Kondou-san? What, did you walk to the other end of Kyoto and back?" Shinpachi-san said as soon as he saw Otou-san walk through the door. Everyone else quickly made their way to their seats as Otou-san paused momentarily due to Shinpachi-san's question.

"Eh, sorry about that." Otou-san said sheepishly as he scratched the back of his neck and chuckled awkwardly before he continued to make his way to his seat next to Hijikata-san. "I didn't go very far, but on my walk I spotted a dandelion growing by the street. I got so caught up in the fact I had seen proof that spring has come that I lost track of the time!"

All the men grinned wryly at what Otou-san said while some chuckled.

"Somehow I'm not surprised…" Sano-san commented. "You can make it up to us by leading everyone in for breakfast before the food gets cold."

"Of course!" Otou-san exclaimed cheerfully. "Alright everyone, enjoy this delicious food and put your all into working hard for another day!" And with Otou-san's happy little speech over, breakfast officially began.

"By the way, Sannan-san…" Hijikata-san said to Sannan-san between bites of his food. "Heard that I made you worry unnecessarily this morning."

"But it was not unnecessary." Sannan-san replied with faux kindness. "Of course I, as a dedicated member of the Shinsengumi, would be concerned about our Commander, who has difficulties waking in the morning."

Hijikata-san grinned wolfishly while Sannan-san's glasses glinted dangerously in the light, hiding his eyes. This was how these two men showed their friendship, but it often made newcomers nervous, like Chizuru-chan. She was currently looking back in forth between the two men with unease.

"Here," Souji said as he placed one of his sardines on my plate, "eat this. Sardines are supposed to be good for pregnant women."

"Are you sure?" I asked Souji. "You have patrol later and I don't want you to go to work hungry just because you gave me your food."

"I'm fine." Souji said as he reached over to brush a strand of hair behind my ear. "Besides, you're eating for two now."

That was not completely true. The "eating for two" while pregnant was actually a myth. While it was true that pregnant women did have to eat more, it wasn't by much. I only needed about 300 extra calories. I was going to tell Souji this, but when I saw him looking at me with so much concern, I just smiled at him and ate the fish he dropped on my plate to ease his worry.

"Whoa…" Heisuke suddenly said in disgust. I looked up from my food and saw him pulling a half chewed vegetable out of his mouth. Oh, it looked like he just got a taste of the vegetables Souji was in charge of preparing. "Uh, Chizuru, did Souji prepare the vegetables?" Heisuke asked with a grimace.

"Um… I'm not sure actually?" Chizuru-chan responded as she turned towards Souji.

"I got as far as boiling them, and then put the soy sauce on, but…" Souji said. "Then Hajime-kun tasted one and claimed I made them too salty—'it's not good for you' he said—so he washed the seasoning all off when I wasn't in the kitchen."

"I only did what I must. The body cannot process an excess of salt." Saito-san stated.

"But you went too far!" Heisuke complained loudly. "These taste like…like nothing!"

"Keep your voice down, please." Inoue-san scolded Heisuke. "You're frightening Yukimura-kun."

"Ha ha…ha…" Chizuru-chan forced out a tired laugh that seemed to ask, "Why are you bringing me into this?"

* * *

"I'll be heading off now…" Chizuru-chan said after she had cleaned the main hall and kitchen up after breakfast.

"Oh, Yukimura-kun. I'm sorry to trouble you, but would you mind staying behind for a little while?" Sannan-san caught Chizuru-chan just right before she left to go back to her room.

"Huh? But…" Chizuru-chan said.

"Yes, you are correct. The captains, Hijikata-san, and I usually have our meetings with Kondou-san here after breakfast." Sannan-san said.

"Wouldn't it be a problem if I was here during that time? I might hear something I shouldn't…" Chizuru-chan said with worry.

"It will be fine for today." Sannan-san said to ease her worries. "In fact, our discussion will be about you."

"What…?!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed in surprise as some nervousness reappeared on her face. Knowing Chizuru-chan would probably feel more comfortable being next to someone she didn't really perceive to be dangerous, I called her over to where I was sitting.

"Chizuru-chan, come sit over here for the meeting." I said kindly while patting the empty spot next to my left side.

While Souji was sitting on my right side and I was sure that Chizuru-chan would currently like to stay as far as possible away from Souji, I knew that Chizuru-chan would want someone she could feel safe with next to her. Ignoring Souji presence the best she could, Chizuru-chan quickly moved to sit in the empty spot next to me before the meeting could officially being.

"During the meeting yesterday we decided to tell some of the Inspectors about you before telling another close ally." Inoue-san said to Chizuru-chan after she had settled next to me.

"The Inspectors…? Ally?" Chizuru-chan asked.

"Yes. The Inspectors and a close ally will be the ones who'll be actually out looking for information about Kodo-san." Inoue-san elaborated. "Before we put all our resources and men into the search, we need to introduce you to them."

"O-Oh, I see! Thank you very much!" Chizuru-chan said as she quickly bowed in thanks with a small smile on her lips. But the way Inoue-san had explained the situation to Chizuru-chan irked me a bit. He had made it sound like we weren't doing anything to locate her father before this, which was completely untrue.

"I'm still completely against this." Souji objected next to me. "It'll cause more trouble than it's worth. Like the medicine. We'd have to explain the whole mess, and why we kept that information from the other men."

"Souji. The commander trusts both Yamazaki and Shimada, and Fuma with the Shinsengumi's secrets." Saito-san pointed out. "Even if we didn't inform them about her now, if we continue searching for Kodo, we'll have to tell them at some point. We cannot keep prolonging it."

Souji turned his head away from Saito-san, still unconvinced that informing the Inspectors would be a good idea. The fact that he also didn't like Yamazaki-san much may have also played a role in his decision. Chizuru-chan shrunk in her seat and scooted closer to me at the tension starting to build in the room. I quickly shot her an encouraging smile before I gently placed a comforting hand on Chizuru-chan's back to ease her nervousness.

"Well, we shouldn't waste a good opportunity. No sense in drawing it out." Sano-san laughed a bit too brightly to be sincere. He was just trying to diffuse the tension when he saw Chizuru-chan shrink next to me. "I mean, she's been here at headquarters for a little more than three months, right? It's time to make a move."

"Hey, you're making it sound like all we did was slack off until now." Heisuke complained before turning to Chizuru-chan with an earnest expression on his face. "Just so you know, Chizuru, us captains have been investigating places around Kyoto for Kodo-san too. We haven't sitting on our asses this whole time."

"Y-You have…?" Chizuru-chan asked as she perked up hopefully.

"Finding Kodo-san sooner rather than later wouldn't just be for your benefit; for the Shinsengumi, it'd help us out a lot if we located him quickly." Sano-san said.

"U-Um! Thank you, all of you, for looking for my chichi…!" Chizuru-chan said as she bowed towards all the captains.

"You shouldn't be thanking us. After all, we want to find him for our own reasons too." Heisuke said as he scratched his nose before he shot Chizuru-chan a warm smile.

After all that discussion, Shinpachi-san who was quiet the whole time, finally spoke up with narrowed eyes and a cool voice.

"I'm with Souji on this one." Shinpachi-san announced his opinion, causing Chizuru-chan to flinch again. "Why should we tell more people about a girl when we don't even know when we're going to get rid of her. 'We had no choice but to bring her to headquarters after she found out about our secret, but we had to kill her because she got in the way'—say something like that to our men and morale would drop like a stone. Bunch of the guys are soft on women. We'd have to say she 'went back home' even if the circumstances forced us to finish her off."

Shinpachi-san did have a point. The less people knew about Chizuru-chan and the secret, the better. However, it still must have hurt for Chizuru-chan to hear that they were anticipating her death at their hands, and already preparing for the explanation afterwards.

"But…we did all agree that we'd have to deal with that situation down the road. So why complain about it now? It's a done deal." Shinpachi-san said as he lightened his tone.

"I guess you're right." Souji agreed. "I understand why we're doing it, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it."

"Excuse me." Shimada-san's voice spoke up from the other side of the door. "Shimada and Yamazaki reporting as requested."

"And a few more extra people." another cheerful voice called in from behind the door. It was Kenji-san.

"Enter." Hijikata-san said.

Shimada-san and a very tired looking Yamazaki-san entered the room first before Kenji-san and Kyoko-chan came in. When Shimada-san and Yamazaki-san spotted Chizuru-chan, they bowed in greeting while Kyoko-chan winked playfully at her.

"I am Kai Shimada, an Inspector. Nice to meet you." Shimada-san introduced himself to Chizuru-chan in a kind manner.

"I am Susumu Yamazaki." Yamazaki-san said politely as he quickly scanned over Chizuru-chan with a sharp, hawk-like gaze.

"Yo." was all Kenji-san said as he lifted his hand lazily in a short greeting, completely skipping out on introducing himself.

"I'm sure you've already heard, but your new mission is to locate a doctor by the name of Kodo Yukimura. He's been trained in western medicine." Otou-san address the new attendees of the meeting before he calmly laid out all the facts for the three men that just came in, plus Kyoko-chan, in a smooth and authoritative tone. "We've put out inquiries regarding his whereabouts, but we've not had any success as of yet. We can't confirm it, but the lack of information suggests some sort of organization is involved in the cover-up."

"I assume, then, that information about Kodo-san won't be falling into our laps?" asked Shimada-san.

"Right." affirmed Hijikata-san. "He could be kidnapped, or even covering his tracks on his own. Best guess: He's in hiding. Tread lightly. We don't know what's going on with him, so who knows who's watching."

The three men being address nodded.

"Very well, let's get to the reason we're all gathered here." Sannan-san spoke up. We've recently acquired a… trump card to assists us in finding information on Kodo-san."

"His daughter, right?" Kenji-san said quickly as he looked out of the corner of his eye back at Chizuru-chan.

"My, quick as always, Fuma-kun." Sannan-san complemented Kenji-san.

Meanwhile, when Kenji-san mentioned his educated guess, both Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san both looked at Chizuru-chan in surprised silence. Feeling the Inspectors' scrutiny, Chizuru-chan became stiff.

"This is top secret, but the Shinsengumi is searching for Kodo-san in connection to some confidential orders we received from the Bakufu" Otou-san said. "We have hidden both her identity and gender to keep important information from falling into the wrong hands, or ears. No one else must know."

"Understood, Chief. Does she know the full details of our orders?" Shimada-san asked, hinting at the rasetsu secret.

Hijikata-san brusquely shook his head and he narrowed his eyes before saying in a commanding tone, "She's not one of us, nor does she work for the shogunate. She doesn't need to know."

"I'm not worried, but I assume since Hijikata-san trusts you three that you know better than to whisper this intel into the wrong ears. Secrecy is our highest priority." Sannan-san said before smiling kindly at Kyoko-chan when she complained how Sannan-san left her out of the initial count.

"Yes, Colonel." Yamazaki-san replied. "We are grateful that the Commander has faith in us. There is no doubt that we will carry out this mission successfully."

Souji heaved a sigh in the face of Yamazaki-san's declaration. His eyes were dismissive as he stared at Yamazaki-san. I sighed tiredly at what was going to happen next. Here we go again…

"This is just great…" Souji said insultingly. "Anybody else think we're just creating more flunkies to blindly follow Hijikata-san, or is it just me?"

"…Do not insult us, or your superior, with thinking any of the Inspectors are so foolish as to blindly give our loyalty." Yamazaki-san said with narrowed icy eyes as he rose to meet Souji's challenge. "My respect for Commander Hijikata is genuine. That's all."

Souji gave Yamazaki-san a sideways sharp grin. The tension between those two could be felt by everyone in the room.

Stop it, Souji." Saito-san stepped in. "Don't needlessly start a fight inside the group."

"You too, Yamazaki. Calm down." Shimada-san said to Yamazaki-san. You mustn't speak back to a captain."

However, it was like neither of them had heard a single word. They continued glaring at each other before Hijikata-san grimaced and rubbed his forehead like it pained him. Deciding that I had enough of Souji's and Yamazaki-san's cat and dog relationship, I shot Kenji-san a quick look and he nodded at me when he received my silent message. At the same time, I slapped Souji's shoulder while Kenji-san, for whatever reason, decided to pull on Yamazaki-san's ponytail. Souji snapped out of his glare as he blinked at me in surprise while Yamazaki-san fell over at the amount of force Kenji-san used when he pulled Yamazaki-san's hair.

"Ouch! What the hell was that for?!" Yamazaki-san cried as he lost his composure. Kenji-san merely grinned in response.

"Meeting's over. Time to get to work." Kenji-san said as he strolled out the door. "Let's go Kyoko. We have to put our own men to work."

"Okay." Kyoko-chan said cheerfully as she followed after Kenji-san. "Bye Shizuka-chan~! I'll see you later?"

"Sure." I called to her as I wave good-bye.

Hijikata-san sighed before sternly saying, "You heard Kenji. Meeting's over. Everyone get the hell out. Yamazaki, Shimada, stay. I need to debrief you on what you should expect."

At Hijikata-san's orders, the captain all stood up and filed out of the room in single file. Quickly catching Chizuru-chan's eye before I left the room, I waved her over to where I was standing.

"Let's go back to your room now, okay?" I said.

Chizuru-chan nodded silently before she followed me out the room, leaving only the leaders in the main hall with the Inspectors behind.

* * *

Chizuru-chan let out a tense sigh the moment we returned to her room. The meeting we were just at must have made her incredibly nervous and now back in the peacefulness of her room, she was able to calm her mind.

"It's hard to believe we just ate breakfast just a little while ago…" Chizuru-chan said.

"Well, not really." I said as I pointed to the position of the sun through an open window. "The meeting was actually pretty long. It's already almost time for lunch."

"Oh!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed when she realized what I said.

"A meeting with all the captains was pretty stressful for you, huh?" I said. "They really are all good men, so no need to be so jumpy around them all the time. Don't worry, they'll all warm up to you soon enough."

Chizuru-chan nodded silently at my words, but it didn't seem like she quite believed me. I guess only time will change her opinion.

"Hmm… I think it's Harada-san's turn to prepare the food for lunch?" Chizuru-chan asked me after a short moment of silence.

"Yes, it's his turn." I said before picking up a journal full of medical notes off of Chizuru-chan's desk. "We have some time before lunch, so why don't I go over some of the material with you."

"Okay." Chizuru-chan said as she brightened up at having something to do while she waited for lunch.

However, less than an hour after I started going over the material with Chizuru-chan, a crash followed by the sound of ceramics breaking filled the room causing Chizuru-chan to jump. The sound was coming from the kitchen. A chorus of voices the filled the other end of the hallway shortly afterwards. What was going on? Could it be that cat making a mess of the kitchen again?

A week ago, a tan cat suddenly showed up in the kitchen and stole some food. After that, the cat would return to the kitchen every few days to steal some more food while creating a complete mess during that process. The captains had tried to keep the whole situation hushed so they wouldn't get in trouble with Hijikata-san, but each invasion the cat made always ended up with an exponentially worse mess. There was no way that they would be able to keep this from Hijikata-san if they didn't catch that cat soon.

"Hajime-kun, over there!" I heard Souji's voice down the hallway.

"…I know. But seeing it doesn't mean I can capture it. Look where it is." Saito-san retorted in annoyance.

"Stop moving your damn mouth and move your feet instead! Run!" Souji said right back at Saito-san, sounding more irritated than before.

"Wh-What are you guys doing he— Whoa?!" I heard Yamazaki-san next.

"What's going on out there…?" Chizuru-chan asked.

I sighed before answering, "It has to be that cat again…"

"Cat?" Chizuru-chan said while looking puzzle. She stood up from where she was sitting to crack open the door to take a peek at what was happening outside. I stood up shortly afterwards to join Chizuru-chan in sticking her head out the door.

When both Chizuru-chan and I peeked out the door, we were greeted with the most hilarious sight. Souji and Saito-san, two of the deadliest captains of the Shinsengumi, plus Yamazaki-san were running down the hall after the tan cat that had been raiding our kitchen for the past few days. Within the cat's mouth was a sardine it filched from the kitchen.

"Wh-What?! A cat?!" Yamazaki-san said as he pointed at Souji and accused him. "Don't tell me this is Okita-san's… Take responsibility and get it under control!"

"I've already said it's not mine, damnit…!" Souji yelled back as he tried to catch the cat. "I want to catch it just as much as you guys!"

"Souji. You seem to have time to argue…" Saito-san scolded Souji as the cat jumped away. "Move your feet instead!"

The three men scrambled down the hallway, focused and completely serious, were after that nuisance of a cat.

"Wh-What is going on?!" Chizuru-chan asked, not quite believing in her own eyes as she watched the three deadly men play tag with a cat. Standing completely dumbstruck, Chizuru-chan stood in place as the men barreled past us and watched their backs until they turned the next corner.

"Chizuru! Shizuka-chan!" Heisuke called us as he suddenly just appeared and started trotting towards us.

"Oh, Heisuke…!" Chizuru responded when he snapped her out of her stupor. "What was that all about…? Why were they running after a cat? Did something happen?"

"Oh, uh… Well it's kind of a long story." Heisuke said. "Do you both have time right now?"

"Sure." I said.

"We need to figure out our plan of attack!" Shinpachi-san said as he magically appeared out of nowhere. "Chizuru-chan, we're going to borrow your room."

"N-Nagakura-san?!" Chizuru-chan said in surprise as Shinpachi-san went in the room almost immediately after appearing.

"Oh, good idea!" Heisuke approved.

"What?!" Chizuru-chan blinked in more surprise.

"We don't have time to goof off. This takes top priority!" Heisuke explained before entering Chizuru-chan's room after Shinpachi-san.

"Sorry about this Chizuru." Sano-san said as he was next captain to appear. "All the other rooms nearby seemed to be occupied or in use. This is the only place we can use on short notice."

"U-Uh… Um…?!" Chizuru-chan managed to stutter out as she grew increasingly pale. She had to be feeling nervous from the number of captains inside her room right now.

"Oh, hey. Have you two seen Sano-san or Heisuke?" Souji said, as he was the next one to appear. "I've been trying to find them."

"They're inside." I said while pointing to Chizuru-chan's room.

"Uh, they said something about figuring out a plan of attack?" Chizuru-chan relayed what Shinpachi-san said. "So they went into my room for a meeting."

"A meeting? Excellent idea." Saito-san said as he appeared after Souji. "We should join them."

"Huh?" Chizuru-chan said with her head spinning.

"Come on. You're coming too, Shizuka." Souji said as he took me by my arm and ushered me inside as he and Saito-san both entered the room, leaving Chizuru-chan standing outside in confusion by herself.

"Hey, get in here Chizuru." Sano-san gestured to Chizuru-chan inside as he soon as he noticed her standing outside by herself. "If the other men spot you hanging out in the hallway outside your own room, it'll be hell to explain."

"Ah, um okay!" Chizuru-chan said as she tentatively stepped back into the room.

* * *

"It started in the kitchen." Shinpachi-san started dramatically while rubbing the back of his neck and deliberately avoiding looking anyone in the eye as soon as we were all seated in a circle in the room. "Sano and I are in charge of lunch today, so we were getting things ready like usual… But then—out of nowhere!—that thing got in. And everything we had is just…gone. It's like a warzone in there."

"Um…" Chizuru-chan said. What Shinpachi-san said must have made no sense to Chizuru-chan because she didn't know about the problems the cat was causing. She didn't even know that the cat existed until today.

"You're talking about the cat, right?" asked Chizuru-chan. "It got in the kitchen? Did it do something?"

"It knocked over all the pots and pans we'd been using. Of course the food went everywhere. I think I even saw some hit the ceiling." Sano-san explained as his mouth twisted bitterly. Both Sano-san and Shinpachi-san looked bleak as they spoke about the situation.

"O-Oh. Oh no…" Chizuru-chan gasped sympathetically.

"Right now it's looking like we won't have lunch. But that's not the worst part…" Sano-san said with a cringe.

"It's not…?" asked Chizuru-chan.

"Hijikata-san's gonna go full Demon on us." Heisuke explained. "He might string us up by our thumbs, or make us sit and listen to him lecture about wasted food for HOURS."

I snorted at the last part of Heisuke's sentence. "Like Hijikata-san is someone who can lecture on wasting food. You don't want to know how much food was thrown out in the earlier days from before Hijikata-san was banned from the kitchen."

Souji bit back a snicker at my comment before he responded to what Heisuke said. "We can only hope we get off that easy. With the mood he's in, he might add fists, or blades." Souji said wryly.

After Souji finished speaking, the room fell quiet as the mood in the room turned dark. Saito-san's voice pierced the gloom of the room. He spoke softly, but everyone could hear how serious he was.

"We must keep this matter quiet." Saito-san said. "The commander should not be troubled with this. We can take care of this issue ourselves."

"Where is he right now…?" Chizuru-chan asked.

"He's still back in the main hall. Talking to Kondou-san and Sannan-san about official business." Heisuke answered.

"If we interrupted an important meeting for this, with him how he is right now… We might not be presentable to the public for months. Some of us might not ever be found." Souji said wryly, causing the room to go silent once more. The tension in the room tightened once more and the air nearly hummed with the tension.

"Anyway, to keep this from Hijikata-san, we'll have to clean up the kitchen and cook again." Shinpachi-san said.

"We can't ignore that cat either." Souji added.

"We should split up." suggested Saito-san.

"Shinpachi and I will somehow deal with cleaning the kitchen." Sano-san said.

"I'll help too." I said. "You guys have to clean the kitchen and prepare a new meal, so you could use the extra hand."

"Then Hajime-kun and I will try to do something about that cat." Souji said. "Also, Sano-san, Shinpachi-san, keep Shizuka away from the stove. The scent of half-cooked food often makes her queasy."

Sano-san and Shinpachi-san nodded at Souji's instructions.

"W-Wait a minute!" Heisuke said in a panic when he realized he didn't have a partner. "You want me to hold up Hijikata-san and the other two on my own?"

At Heisuke's words, all the eyes in the room shifted to Chizuru-chan.

"You're not doing it alone." Saito-san answered Heisuke.

"Eh? M-Me?" Chizuru-chan stuttered when she realized who everyone was looking at.

* * *

"Thanks a bunch for helping, Shizuka. You're saving our skins by coming with Shinpachi and me." Sano-san said to me as the three of us headed towards the kitchen.

I narrowed my eyes at Sano-san as I scanned him over. Something didn't feel quite right. "There's something you didn't mentioned at the meeting…am I right?" I said.

Sano-san and Shinpachi-san deflated at my suspicions. "…There's a mean old man in the kitchen right now. He, uh, saw the giant mess in there and is pretty pissed off." Sano-san answered.

"Well see, after the pots went flying everywhere and made a horrible racket, Gen-san came in to see what was going on." Shinpachi-san explained. "He was all 'What the hell happened here?!' and went off on us. It was like he snapped."

"Well, Inoue-san never did like messes or wasting food." I pointed out.

Shinpachi-san took what I said in stride before continuing on with is explanation. "He was so steamed I thought he was going to draw his sword. I'd never seen him so furious." Shinpachi-san said as he coward a bit.

"If Inoue-san is still mad in the kitchen then what did you guys do after Inoue-san appeared…?" I asked hesitantly. Did they at least try to appease Inoue-san or did they…

"Are you kidding? We ran for our lives." Sano-san said. "We've been hiding out here ever since."

I figured as much…

"So I suppose that means we have an extra step: Calm Gen-san first, and THEN clean the kitchen, after that we can finally make lunch." Sano-san said.

* * *

"There you are, you miserable little cretins!" Inoue-san yelled the moment Sano-san opened the kitchen door.

His voice rattled the walls, intense and frightening; it had been ages since I had last seen Inoue-san like this. The last time Inoue-san was like this was when I was eleven and Souji was thirteen. What happened the last time Inoue-san was like this was when Souji accidentally hit Inoue-san with the prank he had planned for Hijikata-san. Souji bolted when he realized he got the wrong person and left me to deal with a very pissed off Inoue-san.

"C-C'mon now, Gen-san… Just calm down." Shinpachi-san spoke first as he raised his hands in a placating manner with a forced smile while trying to calm Inoue-san down. "No point in scolding us now, right? The food's already a mess and yelling won't get it back. Anyway, we need to figure out how to get rid of the evidence fast."

"Don't give me that 'anyway' nonsense, young man!" Inoue-san angrily yelled back at Shinpachi-san before he deflated and sighed heavily. "… Nothing to do but start cleaning. Quickest way to make it look like it didn't happen. The floor first, perhaps?"

"Well, good thing we brought help." Sano-san said in a soothing voice to help calm Inoue-san down as he jerked his head in my direction. "Shizuka's going to give us a hand. There'll be four of us tackling this, so it shouldn't be too difficult."

"Well, no point in standing around and just talking about the mess." I said as I began to tie my sleeves back while Sano-san threw a grateful smile at me. "Gotta actually start working to get this kitchen clean."

"I knew we could count on you." Sano-san said. "Let's hurry and clean this place up before the Oni comes around."

Inoue-san suggested that we clean the floor first, but when I looked at the floor, it didn't look quite as bad as I thought it was going to be. Inoue-san must have started to clean the floor himself after Sano-san and Shinpachi-san had fled the kitchen the first time around. Thanks to Inoue-san thinking ahead, it didn't take too much time for the kitchen to be cleaned.

"Still, looking back at it… It's truly a sad sight. So much ruined food…" Inoue-san said depressingly after the kitchen was tidied up.

"Hmm, how about using the rice that fell on the floor as fertilizer out in the field?" Shinpachi-san suggested.

"That sounds good." I agreed. "Just leave the bucket of spoiled food by the door and I'll take it out to the field later with Chizuru-chan."

"Alright." Sano-san said with an appreciative grin. "I go with you and Chizuru-chan later to help. A pregnant woman shouldn't be straining herself too much, after all."

"So now we need to get started on lu—" I started but was interrupted by a loud crash outside.

"Uh-oh! That's pretty bad, Hajime-kun." I heard Souji's wry voice from outside. "Hijikata-san's definitely gonna give you shit for that!"

"W-Would you please focus! We don't have the time to argue over this right now!" Saito-san argued back.

…

…

…

"Man, sounds like Souji and Saito have their hands full trying to take care of things out there…" Sano-san commented after a moment.

"Maybe they could use some extra help?" I said, but we really could not afford to spare them too much of a hand as we had our own hands full in the kitchen.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Inoue-san spoke up with a grimace. "Hmm, I think I'll go take a look."

"If you're leaving, then I'll fill in for you and help prepare lunch." I said.

"Oh, I would feel much better if you did, thank you. But if you feel sick while preparing lunch then please step out to get some fresh air and leave everything else to Harada-kun and Nagakura-kun." Inoue-san said before he stepped out of the kitchen.

"So… What exactly are we going to make?" Sano-san asked Shinpachi-san while sounding a little lost after Inoue-san had left.

"We used most of the ingredients already, and a bunch ended up on the floor, so we'll have to make do with what's left. That's…not good." Shinpachi-san said as he scratched the back of his head.

"Yeah, I had a feeling." Sano-san said as he started to look worried. "We don't have a lot of time either. Better come up with something we can make, and fast."

"So…Sano… You got something in mind, right? At least give us something to work with." Shinpachi-san said.

"Why the hell are you putting it all on me?" Sano-san panicked. "I'm barely better than you at cooking. I can't think of a dish at the drop of a hat like that."

…If I let Sano-san and Shinpachi-san decide what to prepare for lunch then we would never be able to get everything done by the time it was time for lunch. Deciding that I need to take charge, I quickly took stock of what we had left in the kitchen. It was probably time to go grocery shopping again.

"The miso soup still looks untouched by the fiasco in the kitchen earlier and we still have some taro." I said as I caught the two arguing men's attention. "We can use the taro to make simmered satoimo and use some of the pickled vegetables we have stored away as another dish."

"Ah! I forgot that Shizuka-chan's here!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed in relief. "We're saved! Shizuka-chan can take care of the cooking for us!"

"Oi! Idiot!" Sano-san scolded Shinpachi-san. "Shizuka can only give us instructions on what to do. She still gets nauseous around half-cooked foods most of the time."

"…I forgot about that." Shinpachi-san said sheepishly. "So, what do you need us to do?"

"Sano-san, the miso soup was untouched by the mess earlier, but it was never finished. I'll leave the miso soup to you because it's almost impossible to mess up miso soup." I said. "As for Shinpachi-san, I'll need you to help me peel the taros."

"Right!" both men said before setting to work. However, we didn't work for long before another crash was heard. This time the source of noise was from the front gates.

"Souji, you must feel ashamed of yourself." I heard Saito-san say. "A captain in the Shinsengumi is unable to catch a cat."

"Speak for yourself, Hajime-kun." I heard Souji defend himself. "I don't see you doing any better and we're equal rank!"

"There go Souji and Saito again." Sano-san commented. "Damn if they aren't noisy as hell."

"Looks like they still haven't caught the cat." I said as I backed away from the pot that contained the simmering satomio. I was hoping I could finish with the taro before I started feeling sick, but that clearly wasn't going to happen.

"To be able to taunt and outrun a pair of skilled guys like those two… Damn. That cat has balls." Shinpachi-san complimented the cat before the two men laughed loudly.

"Hmm? Shizuka, are you alright?" Sano-san asked in concern when he saw me back away from the pot.

"I'm done in the kitchen." I said with my hand covering my nose and mouth. "I'm starting to feel a little sick. Ugh…"

"Sano, I'll take Shizuka-chan outside for some fresh air." Shinpachi-san volunteered.

"Wait a moment!" Sano-san objected. "It would be best if I did that. I know you'll just use this chance to wiggle out of cooking."

"Hmm? What was that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of the soup boiling." Shinpachi-san said with a giant grin as he led me out of the kitchen.

"Let the taro boil in the pot for twelve more minutes." I called back to Sano-san before Shinpachi-san and I stepped outside of the kitchen.

* * *

"…What the hell?" I muttered to myself when I entered the yard with Shinpachi-san.

The yard was a complete mess. One of the trees near the front gate appeared to have been uprooted, the trunk completely whole…and horizontal.

"Damn, it's like a typhoon went through here. There's no way in hell we can hide this. Not good." Shinpachi-san said as he started to sweat. "But how do you knock down a tree from chasing a small cat?"

"They probably chased the cat up the tree and when they tried to climb up after it, the tree fell over when it couldn't carry their combined weight." I said as I began massaging my forehead. This was going to take a lot of work to clean up.

"Ah, I see." Shinpachi-san said as he scanned the yard.

"I'm going to go lay down." I said after a moment when my nausea decidedly wasn't going away. "You should probably go back to the kitchen and help Sano-san finish up lunch."

"Ye—" Shinpachi-san started before a meow cut him off.

I looked down at where the meow came from to see the cat that Souji and Saito-san were after rubbing itself boldly against Shinpachi-san's leg. Of course this was going to happen… Animals were always attracted to Shinpachi-san for some strange reason. We probably could have avoided the whole mess in the yard if we had sent Shinpachi-san after the cat instead of the other two.

"Huh. Look at that." Shinpachi-san said as he stared at the cat rubbing itself against his leg. "Hey you." he said to the cat. "You're causing a lot of problems around here, you know that? And here you are, cool as can be."

The cat just meowed at him as it happily continued rubbing itself against his leg.

"Couldn't you at least act like you feel bad for what you did? But look, here you are, purring and content." Shinpachi-san said before bending down and rubbing the cat underneath its chin. "It's all your fault we're scrambling to fix things, after all. You've been leading us on quite a chase."

After Shinpachi-san was done talking to the cat, he scooped the small animal up in his arms and turned around.

"I'll go let Saito and Souji know I caught the cat." Shinpachi-san told me.

"Alright." I said. "I'll go relieve Chizuru-chan and Heisuke from distracting Hijikata-san before I go lay down."

I quickly made my way to the main hall afterwards. Souji and Saito-san did make a lot of noise during their chase and there was no way that Hijikata-san didn't expect something was wrong. Chizuru-chan and Heisuke would probably be very relieved to be released from their duties. As I approached the door to the main hall I could hear Hijikata-san's frustrated voice.

"What are you saying, Kondou-san? We shouldn't make a fuss over just one cat."

Oops, looks like Heisuke and Chizuru-chan couldn't keep Hijikata-san from finding out about the cat in the end. Deciding it was best to put those two out of their misery, I opened the door to step in and tell them the status of the cat.

"Huh? Is something wrong Shizu-chan?" Otou-san asked me the moment I opened the door and stepped in. "You look a little sick."

I sighed tiredly before I went over to where Otou-san was sitting. I laid down on my side as I placed my head on Otou-san's lap before answering.

"I do feel a bit like throwing up." I admitted. Otou-san rubbed my side in a comforting manner.

"Shizuka, don't tell me you know about the cat too." Hijikata-san said as he looked sternly at me. I guess me feeling sick wasn't going to protect me from Hijikata-san's interrogation.

"There's no need to worry about the cat anymore." I answered. "Shinpachi-san caught it a few minutes ago."

"Huh? Shinpat-san did?" asked Heisuke. "I thought he was supposed to be in the kitchen?"

"He was, but I started feeling sick so he took me outside to get some air. That's when the cat walked up to him and started to rub itself against his leg." I answered. "There should be nothing else to worry about."

However, as soon as I said that, a crash resounded in the yard.

"Hey! Get back here!"

"Meow!"

"Damnit! Why did you guys run up to me! Of course the cat is going to jump and run as soon as it saw the giants that were chasing it earlier!"

"Shut your mouth and move, Shinpachi!"

"…I spoke too soon, didn't I?" I said with a stressed sigh. Hijikata-san facepalmed in response.

* * *

I stirred from sleep due to the extreme the urge to pee. The baby just had to be sitting on top of my bladder. Why couldn't it sit on top of some useless organ, like the appendix, or at least an organ that wouldn't make me want to run to the restroom every night? Carefully wiggling out of Souji's grasp, I got out of the futon so I could head to use the facilities without waking him up.

"Mmm… Shizuka…?" Souji mumbled with his eyes closed before groping around the futon for me as I slipped out the door.

The situation with the cat earlier today didn't end well. The cat was never caught again after it escaped from Shinpachi-san's arms and everyone had to endure a harsh scolding from Hijikata-san. That was before Hijikata-san stepped outside and saw the mess that resulted from chasing that cat around. Many trees in the courtyard had toppled over, the laundry was all over the floor, and there was even a whole bamboo fence that had been knocked over. When Hijikata-san saw the mess, he exploded. Needless to say, after some more severe punishment for the guys, they ended up spending the whole day cleaning up the massive mess in the courtyard.

After finishing up my business, I washed my hands before heading back to the bedroom, but paused when I saw Hijikata-san sitting on the roka and speaking to the very same cat that caused the mishap earlier today.

"Do cats have easier lives than humans?" Hijikata-san gently asked the cat with a soft expression as the cat just sat obediently and listened to him. "No. We are all living beings, so there is essentially no difference. How could you wander into the famous Mibu Wolves' den so carelessly?"

The cat just merely meowed back cutely and innocently in response to Hijikata-san's questions. This whole scene was adorable. It was quite amazing how he could get the stray cat to sit and listen to him obediently.

"If you have a great responsibility, then you shouldn't do this." Hijikata-san continued with a small smile forming on his face. "Don't give me that face. It'll be troublesome if you feel attached. Hurry up and leave. This is the Shinsengumi's headquarters. There's no way we can raise cats here."

With one small wave of his hand, Hijikata-san gently shooed the cat away and it disappeared into the bushes after meowing cutely one last time. Once the cat was gone, Hijikata-san stood up and stared at the bushes the cat disappeared into before turning his head while rearing a terrifyingly strict glare.

"What are you doing?" he asked harshly.

Who was he talking to? Because I know that he certainly wasn't talking to me. Turning my gaze to who he was glaring at, I saw Chizuru-chan, who was by her open window while dressed in her sleepwear, freeze up and nervously avert her gaze.

"Ah, um…" she stuttered as she ran her fingers up and down the window's frame to distract herself from Hijikata-san's terrifying glare.

"If it's late, then sleep." Hijikata-san barked at her.

"I-I'm sorry."

"Go to sleep!"

"Okay!" she exclaimed out of fright before she bowed, or at least tried to bow to Hijikata-san. Hijikata-san had scared her so much that she forgotten she was standing at a window, so when she tried to bow...she slammed her head on the window still. "OW!" she cried before disappearing from the window.

Hijikata-san remained in place as he continued to stare at the window, completely baffled by what he just witnessed, before smiling to himself. I bet he was thinking that was incredibly cute.

"So, what are you doing up." he then said after a short while before turning to me. So he noticed me too?

"I needed to use the facilities, then I got sidetracked while returning to my room." I said as Hijikata-san approached me.

"Facilities again?"

"Well, I do happen to have a baby sitting on top of my bladder." I said as I rubbed the underside of my growing belly. "You would have to too if you had another human sitting on top of your bladder."

"Fair enough." he said with a tired sigh before he placed his own hand on my belly briefly. "Here, why don't I walk you back to your room?"

I nodded back with a small smile and allowed him to begin steering me back to the bedroom.

"So, that was rather cute." I commented on our way back as I referred to the cat. "I bet Chizuru-chan thought that too."

"She wasn't supposed to see that." he grunted as he averted his gaze in annoyance.

"But she did. I bet she'll no longer be as terrified of you as much as she was before."

Hijikata-san merely huffed without saying anything back to me.

"Besides, isn't this a good thing? Despite being the Oni Vice Captain, it's not like you actually want anyone to be terrified of you. It just comes with the job."

"Alright, enough speculation for now." Hijikata-san said gruffly as we arrived back at my room. He sighed one more time before playfully ruffling my hair. "Go back to sleep." he said after he walked off.

"Goodnight!" I called back to him before entering the bedroom, only to find Souji staring blankly at my empty side of the futon with a small frown on his lips.

So I did wake him up. I slid the doors closed with a small thud, causing Souji to blink a few times before he snapped back into focus.

"Sorry, did I wake you earlier?" I asked before I made my way back to the futon.

"Where did you go?" he asked instead as he wrapped his arms around me when I got back into the futon. He quickly pulled me close and spooned me from behind as his hands came to rest on my belly.

"The facilities." I answered bluntly as I got comfortable again.

"Heh, is that so?" he said into the nape of my neck before drifting off to sleep again.

The next day, Chizuru-chan didn't seem so nervous and scared around the captains anymore. After she had seen Hijikata-san's softer side, she had come to the conclusion that she didn't need to be so terrified of the captains anymore.


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter 57**

"Overconfidence blurs out the risk. Inferiority magnifies it." ― Toba Beta, _Betelgeuse Incident: Insiden Bait Al-Jauza_

"Shizuka, come over here. Isn't it time you took a break?" Souji said from his seated position on the roka where he was relaxing in a laid back manner as he watched Saito-san practice swordplay. "I can tell that your back is aching from where I'm sitting."

"Shizuka-chan, I can take care of the rest of the laundry, so please go rest." Chizuru-chan said politely from beside me as she reached over and took the article of clothing out of my hand.

"Alright then." I yielded to Souji's request and shuffled over to where he was sitting. I could use a break.

Souji was right in that my back ached. At eighteen weeks, the unfortunate symptoms of pregnancy that I suffered from were swollen ankles and infrequent back aches. The back aches were something I could deal with, but it was the swollen ankles that really put me off. Also along with the aching back and swollen extremities, was fetal movement. The way I felt about being able to feel the baby move within was somewhat mixed. Being able to feel my own baby move inside of me was definitely a thrilling experience, but it was also highly unpleasant during the times the baby would treat my bladder as a punching bag. The kicks weren't very strong right now, but I could feel them growing stronger with each passing day. Souji on the other hand, acted like the happiest person in the world when I told him that I felt the baby quicken. Now when he put his hand on my belly, he would always have the stupidest grin on his face whenever the baby kicked. It was also during this time Souji had discovered that if he pressed somewhere on my baby bump for a few seconds, the baby would respond by pressing back in the same spot. This evolved into some sort of a game between Souji and the baby. Souji would sometimes spend a few hours pressing lightly on different parts of my belly just to get the baby to push back.

"Other than your back pain right now, how are you feeling?" Souji asked as he pulled me into his lap.

"My ankles are swollen right now," I said, "and I'm a bit sleepy because the baby kept me awake all night with its kicking."

"Hmm…" Souji said as he moved his hands to the side of the baby bump. He smiled in delight when the baby kicked the spot where is right hand rested before he spoke to the bump. "It's wonderful that you're so active, but you need to let Okaa-san rest."

As if the baby understood what Souji said, I felt the baby turn before settling down calmly. Souji chuckled lightly at my stupefied expression before pecking me on the cheek.

"He's a good kid." Souji said as he rubbed my belly. "He already knows when to listen to Tou-san."

"He?" I asked. He seemed so sure that the baby was going to be a boy. "You know, the baby could be a girl."

"It could be." Souji said. "But you haven't been craving sweets, it's more likely to be a boy."

"Is there something you would like to say?" I heard Saito-san suddenly say off to the side. Both Souji and I looked up from our own conversation to see what was going on. Saito-san had stopped swinging his sword and was looking at Chizuru-chan.

"Well, actually…" Chizuru-chan said with a polite smile as she dropped the article of clothing she was washing back into the washtub and stood up with her hands clasped together in front of her chest. "I was wondering if you'd let me go outside so I could search for my chichi."

"That's impossible." Saito-san said as he resumed sword practice. "A fair number of people are trying to kill the Captain. We don't have any soldiers to spare to offer you an escort."

"I see…" Chizuru-chan deflated as her gaze dropped to the floor in disappointment.

"Of course, you might be able to accompany us while we run our rounds." Souji spoke up as he offered an unexpected helping hand.

"Really?!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed hopefully. "Would you please let me go with you?!"

"But we're risking our lives when we're on patrol." Souji elaborated. "Some unlucky bastards get themselves killed."

"If you want to go with out on patrol with the captains then you at least need to be able to defend yourself." I finished for Souji. It would be great if Chizuru-chan could go on patrol with the others to search for her father, but since it wasn't uncommon for the squads on patrol to be attacked, we needed to be sure she wasn't going to be a liability out on the field.

"Even I know the art of self-defense!" Chizuru-chan instantly defended herself, completely unwilling to lose this opportunity. "I've even attended a short sword dojo…"

Really? This was news to me. Even though Chizuru-chan carried a kodachi, I had always assumed it was really more for show. I mean, if she did know how to defend herself then why didn't she try to fight off the rasetsu on the night that we found her?

Upon hearing Chizuru-chan's claims that she could defend herself, Saito-san had stopped swinging his sword. "In that case, allow me to test you." Saito-san said.

"Huh?" Chizuru-chan gasped in surprise.

Quickly removing the apron she was wearing and untying her sleeves, Chizuru-chan went to go take her place in front of Saito-san for the test as Saito-san sheathed his sword and turned to face her. Souji sat up straighter behind me as he watched on with growing curiosity. What type of swordsman would Chizuru-chan be?

"There's no need to hold back." Saito-san said calmly and confidently to Chizuru-chan. "Attack from any direction."

"B-But…" Chizuru-chan stammered while looking hesitant.

"Is that short sword on your waist just for show?" Saito-san asked seriously.

"Of course not!" Chizuru-chan adamantly defended. "But you could die if I hit you with a sword, Saito-san!"

Hit Saito-san? I get that Chizuru-chan was a pacifist, but did she really have to say it like that? I had no doubt that she would not be able to land hit Saito-san. I couldn't land a hit on Saito-san myself without seriously planning ahead of time. Saito-san was honestly just too fast to be hit by the average person. Saito-san, who obviously didn't take the innocent comment to well, seemed to take what she said as an insult. Souji, on the other hand, shook with loud laughter.

"It's amazing how you're afraid you might kill Hajime-kun." Souji laughed as he slapped the side of his leg and pushed is face into the nape of my neck. "This is too good!"

"This isn't a laughing matter!" Chizuru-chan objected, appearing appalled by Souji's lightheartedness on such a heavy topic.

"Ya know, we might consider letting you leave the premise if you prove how good you are with that sword." Souji said as his laughter died down and he sat up straight again with a hand on my belly. Hearing what Souji said, Chizuru-chan turned her gaze back to Saito-san with renewed determination.

"You don't need to worry about hurting Saito-san." I told Chizuru-chan. "Unless you are a master swordsman, you won't be able to injure Saito-san in any way."

"If you still feel unsure of fighting me with your sword then attack with the back of your sword." Saito-san said.

Chizuru-chan looked at her sword with determination before she drew and flipped her sword so that she would strike with the blunt side. "Let's do this!" she said with unwavering determination as she got into the standard middle stance.

Several seconds passed without neither opponent moving. Chizuru-chan looked confused when Saito-san did not make a move to even draw his sword. It appeared that she was expecting him to attack her first with a drawn blade. So when it became clear that Saito-san wasn't going to make the first move, Chizuru launched her forward attack with a cry. In less than a second, Saito-san drew his blade to brush Chizuru-chan's strike harmlessly to the side and knocked the sword out of her hands. Without even realizing that she was no longer holding her sword, Chizuru-chan turned around to attack once more only to freeze when Saito-san's sword was held to her neck. If she had inched forward just a little more or if Saito-san hadn't stopped his sword where he did, then Chizuru-chan would no doubt have a large cut on her neck. Then just as quickly as he placed the sword at her neck, Saito-san removed his sword with a swift flick of his arm.

"Wh-What just happened…?" Chizuru-chan stuttered in shock and fear as she stared wide-eyed in awe at Saito-san.

"Surprised?" Souji asked as he gently eased me off his lap so he could go pick Chizuru-chan's sword off the ground. "Hajime-kun's a master at the quick draw."

Chizuru-chan's eyes became even wider when she saw her sword in Souji's hand. She quickly checked her side to see if it was really her sword in his hand or whether she was seeing things. "No way! He was so quick!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed in awe and fear.

"You'd be dead if Hajime-kun took this seriously." Souji said matter-of-factly as he strolled up to Chizuru and dropped the sword in her hands.

"Be proud of your master." Saito-san said after he quickly sheathed his sword. "Your blade was not clouded.

Chizuru-chan gasped in surprise at Saito-san's evaluation.

"At the very least, you won't get in our way if we can take you out with us." Saito-san finished before he stepped on to the roka.

"Hajime-kun gave the go-ahead. That's pretty amazing." Souji said cheerfully before turning to follow.

"S-So…" Chizuru-chan asked for clarification.

"We'll ask the Vice Captain for permission to take you on patrol." Saito-san answered.

When Chizuru-chan processed what Saito-san had said, she instantly brightened up and bowed enthusiastically with a, "Thank you so much!"

"However, if you try to escape or get in the way of our rounds, we'll kill you." Souji added to what Saito-san said with a scary looking smile.

But Souji's little death threat did nothing to damper Chizuru-chan's good mood. She just continued to smile brightly after saying, "Okay!" to Souji's death threat. He smiled back before following Saito-san back inside, most likely to inform Hijikata-san of the new developments.

"Shizuka," Souji said before he went inside, "rest for ten more minutes before you continue with the laundry, okay?"

"Okay." I answered with a smile. Souji nodded in approval before going inside and closing the door.

"Isn't it great?" I said to Chizuru-chan. "You'll be able to go out and personally look for your otou-san as soon as Hijikata-san gives his permission."

I doubted that Hijikata-san would say no to Souji and Saito-san's request in favor of Chizuru-chan. Hijikata-san, while strict, was soft-hearted and really did just view Chizuru-chan as an innocent young woman who was just trying to locate her father but ended up at the wrong place at the wrong time and ended up seeing something she wasn't supposed to. He was sympathetic towards her and would allow her to go on patrols with the captain as soon as the situation allowed it. However, when the situation would allow it would be a different story. It may take a few months before the outside situation in the city settled down. The ronin, especially the Choshu ronin had been rather active lately.

"Yes!" she nodded energetically as her excitement bubbled quickly out of containment.

I laughed at her excitement. It was just so cute and the expression she was making kind of reminded me of a puppy.

"Chizuru-chan," I said while patting an empty spot next to where I was seated. "why don't you take a break too? We can finish the laundry in a little bit. Plus, leaving the clothing to soak in the cold water a little longer will make it easier to wash off the stains."

"Okay." she answered before she sat down next to me. When she sat down, her legs hung off the raised porch as she swung them back and forth, like a kid on a swing. "Um…Shizuka-chan?" she asked after a second before blushing a bit. "I was wondering if… Could I touch…?"

"Touch? Oh, you mean my belly?"

Chizuru-chan nodded shyly. "I seen pregnant women around and heard my neighbor back in Edo say that it's possible to feel the baby move while it's still inside… but I never got to a chance to touch…"

"So you're curious?" I asked with a smile. Chizuru-chan nodded vigorously with excitement in response.

Taking her left hand by the wrist, I picked her hand off the roku and placed it on my belly just as the baby began to kick again. Chizuru-chan's eyes immediately became wide in awe and amazement before she smiled brightly.

"Th-That's amazing!" Chizuru-chan gasped when the baby kicked where her hand was. "But doesn't it hurt?"

"Not really." I explained. "At this stage, the kicks feel more like soft nudges. But it won't stay that way the further I get into the pregnancy. Oh, did you know that if you press down on a part of my belly lightly, the baby will push back in that same spot?"

"Really?"

"Yup! Souji made a small game out of it. He always spends some time before we go to bed for the night pressing on different parts of my belly lightly and when I ask him why, he always says that he's just spending some time to play tag with his son. It is pretty cute to see him bonding with his child before it's born though."

Chizuru-chan nodded with a giggle as she pull her hand back. She was probably picturing Souji doing what I just mentioned. The baby kicked once more when I rubbed the spot where Chizuru-chan's hand once was.

"Shizuka-chan." I heard someone call me. I looked up to see Sannan-san walking down the hall only to stop behind me. "Do you have some free time right now?"

"I'd better get back to work!" Chizuru-chan said cheerfully next to me as she stood up to excuse herself to offer Sannan-san and me some privacy.

"I have some time right now." I answered Sannan-san as I stood back up. "What do you need?"

"I would like to talk to you about…" he said as he silently gestured to his injured arm.

"Okay. Let's go to the medical wing to continue our discussion." I suggested as we began walking to the medical wing, leaving Chizuru-chan to finish the laundry by herself.

* * *

"So what do you want to talk about?" I asked Sannan-san as soon as we settled in the medical wing.

I was sitting at a desk with Sannan-san seated on the other side. Sannan-san had taken his injured arm out of the sling and placed it on the cushion on the desk in front of me. I pressed a pressure point on his wrist, hoping that somehow the severed nerve had started to regenerate and that the hand would twitch in response to the pressure, but there was no movement.

"About the nerve graft you mention…" Sannan-san said with a serious expression. "What are the chances of it succeeding right now?"

Sannan-san did have the right to know since it did concern him. He had been patient so far, but all this waiting must have been grating him. However, research for this type of surgery took time and a measly four months and a half wasn't enough time to complete the research with a one man team.

"I need more time." I sighed tiredly. "Right now I'm lacking the equipment and experience to make this surgery even 60% successful. Without the proper equipment and, as morbidly as it sounds, a cadaver to practice on, my research on the nerve graft isn't going anywhere very fast."

"I see…" Sannan-san said disappointedly.

"But that doesn't mean I haven't made progress." I stated very clearly. "Please be more patient. I promise that I'll do everything I can."

Sannan-san nodded quietly before asking me another question. "What are the implications if the nerve graft does succeed?"

I knew what Sannan-san was really asking with that question: "Will my arm be exactly as it was before the injury?" Even though Sannan-san was not a medical doctor, he was still smart enough to know that it was unlikely that his arm would never be the same, even if the surgery did succeed.

"If we're extremely lucky, the surgery will restore your injured arm to 100% of its full strength and movement with physical therapy." I said. "But what is most likely to happen is that only up to about 80% of its full strength will be restored with physical therapy. You should be able to have movement return to your arm, but it's the sense of touch I'm most worried about. What would most likely happen, even in the best case scenario, is that you won't be able to regain any of your sense of touch."

"But movement and strength can be fixed enough to wield a sword again?" Sannan-san asked hopefully.

"Yes, but with your left arm slightly weaker." I answered. "But it's still possible for you to completely regain your level of skill and ability to wield a sword. You'll most likely need to specially train your right arm to compensate for your left arm."

"Hmm… I see..." Sannan-san said as he pondered the information I just gave him before asking, "Do you have an estimation to when you can perform the surgery?"

"Well, right now I'm closer to completing my side project for treating tuberculosis." I said with a shrug.

"The incurable disease? How is it possible that you're closer to completing that than research on the nerve graft?" Sannan-san asked unhappily, probably thinking that I spent more time on my side project than on him. In a way, I did, but not the way he probably thought it to be.

"Well, I did start on that a lot earlier than I did on the nerve graft, so it would make sense that my tuberculosis treatment is closer to being complete." I pointed out before saying with unshakable confidence, "But back to your original question, give me one year to perfect the nerve graft. I guarantee I'll be able to perform the surgery by this time of next year if not earlier. I have a very steep learning curve."

Sannan-san must have seen something that he liked about my confidence because the tenseness in his shoulders left and the frown on his face was replaced with an expression akin to relief. Giving me as small nod of thanks for my time, he stepped out of the medical wing.

"Wait." I called to Sannan-san before he left. "Could you do me a favor and tell Chizuru-chan that I unfortunately need her to finish the laundry by herself? I have some research I have to complete right now."

Sannan-san paused in surprise before smiling at the amount of effort I was putting forward. "It will be done." he answered with a much more cheerful smile compared to what he had before.

* * *

"You were there when Hajime-kun and Souji tested Chizuru's swordplay, right?" Heisuke asked me during the evening while we were walking back to the main hall.

"How did you know?" I said while yawning before I stretched my right arm. My hand had cramped up while I was in the middle of research, signaling that I needed a break. That was when Heisuke happened to walk by and ask how I was doing.

"Sannan-san mentioned it when I spoke to him earlier."

"Oh. Well if you want to know then you should ask Souji and Saito-san directly." I said sluggishly as we entered the main hall. Souji and Saito-san were sitting inside the main hall, sharpening their blades on whetstones. Why ask me if Heisuke could ask the men that tested Chizuru-chan's swordplay directly?

"Hey! Souji! Hajime-kun!" Heisuke called them energetically as he went to sit down directly in front of them while I went to sit behind Souji so I could lean against his back. I got tired much more easily now and it was an annoying hassle.

"Tired?" asked Souji as he looked at me from the corner of his eyes. All I could do was nod sleepily.

"You guys said you tested Chizuru's swordplay, right?" asked Heisuke. "How was she?"

"Yeah, we did. So? What do you want?" Souji said as he paused his work on his blade so he could look at Heisuke.

"Well, you told Hijikata-san she was good enough to go out into the city, right?" said Heisuke.

"That is indeed what Souji told the commander." Saito-san said without taking his eyes off of his work.

"You think I was going to tell him she wasn't. The point was to get him to let her off the leash." Souji said wryly. "Anyway, it was really my boy Hajime-kun here who said her swordsmanship was good enough for a trip to the city."

"…Technically yes, it was me, but I said it with the understanding that, while she has a decent grasp of the basic forms, she is still an amateur." Saito-san corrected Souji's statement as he stopped sharpening his blade.

"So…? What happened?" Heisuke asked with curiosity.

"She's got about the level of skill you can find in any small local dojo. Not bad for a girl, I guess." Souji said generously.

"Her stroke is direct and firm, with no hesitation." Saito-san stated. "I also commended her posture and focus."

"But that just means you know exactly how she's going to move and when she's going to attack." I mumbled barely audibly as I started to drift off into a light sleep.

"I doubt she has any experience in anything approaching a real battle." Saito-san elaborated. "She knows some skill, but no strategy."

"Huh… So she's kind of like one of those guys who spends one day in the dojo and then never comes back?" Heisuke said while looking completely unimpressed before pausing. "Wait, wouldn't that make her less skilled than the rest of our men?"

"Exactly." Saito-san said bluntly.

"Then why the hell did you say she was good enough to go out on patrol?!" Heisuke raised his voice in disapproval. At Heisuke's loud voice, I pressed my side closer against Souji's back to get more comfortable. He was so warm…

Souji smiled at me before he sheathed his sword and moved the whetstone so he could pull me into his lap and place his hand on the baby bump. I settled in his lap comfortably and leaned my side and head against his chest before I closed my eyes.

"What, don't you think it'd be fun to watch her?" Souji said mockingly as soon as I was snuggly fit in his arms. "Besides, if something happens to her out there, that's Hijikata-san's problem, not mine."

"C'mon, gimmie a break." Heisuke complained. "We'd still catch heat, and you know it. Shizuka-chan, why don't you say something to Souji to straighten him out?"

"She's asleep." Saito-san said when I didn't answer. I wasn't asleep yet, but I was close enough anyways. "You are being too pessimistic. Either she has a skilled teacher or a sincere heart. There is no doubt in her sword." Saito-san continued. "If the situation calls for it, she should be able to attack without hesitation. …I think… In any event, she will comport herself in a commendable manner."

The "…I think" part really took the strength out of Saito-san's argument.

"Oh yeah…" Souji said mockingly as if he just remembered something funny. "You know, when we asked her to draw she was worried she was going to hurt Hajime-kun. Really, I think that tells you just about everything you need to know."

"Hey, hey!" Heisuke said before saying accusingly, "C'mon, you guys aren't taking this seriously."

"Of course we are. Aren't we, Hajime-kun?" Souji said wryly.

"Kindly leave me out of this discussion." Saito-san said bluntly. "Nonetheless, Souji, you DO appear to be enjoying yourself."

"See?" Heisuke said after Saito-san agreed with him. "I was just feeling bad that she couldn't go outside…"

"That's why we told Hijikata-san to let her go out." Souji said, sounding serious again.

"I assume he will only allow her out on rounds for the time being, however." Saito-san said.

"Yep. So when you take her out on patrol, make sure she doesn't do anything stupid, alright?" Souji added on to what Saito-san said.

"Hmm… So, uh… She can go on rounds with me?" Heisuke asked while sounding suspiciously pleased.

"You looked pleased, Heisuke. Why?" Saito-san asked when he caught Heisuke's pleased tone.

"N-Nothing. No reason." Heisuke stuttered.

"Really?" Souji said teasingly. "You're not all excited because you'll have a girl with you on patrol? What? Shizuka doesn't count as a girl?"

"O-Of course not!" Heisuke defended himself. "Besides, it's not like Shizuka ever comes on patrol with any of us."

"Well of course not." I heard Souji say as I drifted into sleep. "I rather keep her away from all the fighting as much as possible."

* * *

However, despite testing Chizuru-chan's swordplay skills in May 1864, nothing new happened for the rest of the month. It wasn't until the morning of June 5, 1864 that Hijikata-san gave her permission to go on patrol with whichever captain was patrolling. It was Souji's turn to patrol the city that day. When they left for patrol that morning, I honestly thought nothing too spectacular would happen. Maybe Chizuru-chan would find a clue on her father's whereabouts or maybe nothing would occur. I was wrong on both accounts.

While I was sweeping the floor in front of the headquarters' front gates, I heard footsteps approaching the gate. When I looked up, I was greeted by the sight of Souji's division returning early. It was strange. What reason did the first division have for returning early?

"Welcome bac—!" I started to greet Souji and his division but then I saw a man that looked a little worse for wear that Souji had tied up and thrown over his shoulder. They had caught someone?

"Shizuka, I need you to go get Hijikata-san for me." Souji said seriously before turning around to order Chizuru-chan to head back to her room.

"Okay." I answered before I quickly left to go find Hijikata-san. With luck, Hijikata-san would be in Otou-san's room speaking with Otou-san right now and I wouldn't have to run all over the place just to locate him.

"Otou-san, Hijikata-san, are you in?" I called through the closed doors of Otou-san's room with great urgency as soon as I arrived outside the room.

"Hmm? What is it Shizu-chan?" Otou-san asked before he opened the door from the inside so he could talk to me face to face. "Is something wrong?"

"Souji caught someone important." I informed Otou-san as Hijikata-san peeked at me from over Otou-san's shoulders. "And I'm guessing that person isn't your average ronin because Souji asked directly for Hijikata-san."

Hijikata-san's gazed sharpened instantly at my words before he stepped forward. "Have Souji deposit the man in the holding cell in the Maekawa house. Kondou-san, go head to the Maekawa house while I go get Sannan-san. I'll meet you there."

"Right." Otou-san said before he left. With my instructions, I hurried back to where Souji was and told him what Hijikata-san wanted him to do. When my task was completed, Souji ordered me to go back into our room. Things were going to get ugly while interrogating the captured man and Souji didn't want me involved.

The man that Souji had captured was a Choshu spy by the name of Furutaka Shuntarô. This man along with several other Choshu ronin had been storing up arms at a business called Masuya. After hours of brutal torture by Hijikata-san, the man had cracked and revealed the plan that the Choshu were invested in.

I had later learned how brutal the torture was. When the prisoner refused to answer any of Hijikata-san's questions, Hijikata-san resorted to physical torture. Hijikata-san suspended the man upside down by his ankles, restrained the man's wrists, and then drove five-inch spikes into the heels of the man's feet. Then Hijikata-san lit candle upon the holes so that hot wax could drip down onto the man's calves. It was almost impossible for me to believe the person I viewed as an older brother since childhood could be so brutally harsh to another person.

* * *

"That was quite an achievement." Sannan-san said as everyone, but Hijikata-san, was gathered in Otou-san's room during the evening to discuss today's events. Even Chizuru-chan and the Inspectors were there. "You confiscated the arms they'd been piling up at Masuya. And then you even managed to capture Furutaka Shuntarô, a Choshu spy."

"We sure were lucky!" Souji said lightheartedly.

"This isn't a laughing matter." Sannan-san scolded Souji with a frown, however, the scolding had no effect on Souji's wry smile. "We could have used the information that Masuya's shop owner is a Choshu spy to our advantage."

"Don't you feel sorry for Shimada-kun and Yamazaki-kun?" Heisuke asked while pointing at the two Inspectors, who were still wearing their disguises from their assignment.

"Please don't worry about us." Yamazaki-san said.

"We've been at a deadlock with Masuya for a while anyway." Shimada-san added. "Thanks to Okita-san, we were finally able to arrest Furutaka."

"That was the end result." Sannan-san said, still unconvinced that the situation worked out well.

"You guys were great." Shinpachi-san sighed at the Inspectors. "And then Souji went and—"

"It's all my fault!" Chizuru-chan interrupted while looking guilty. "I rushed headlong into the shop when I heard that someone saw my chichi there."

"You were Okita-kun's responsibility." Sannan-san said sternly.

"About that!" we all heard Hijikata-san's voice from outside and turned our heads towards the source as Hijikata-san opened the door and stepped in. "I'm also to blame since I let her go. Please don't drown them in blame." he said before he closed the door and made his way to the front of the room where the other two leaders were sitting.

"Hijikata-san, did you get anything out of Furutaka?" Sano-san spoke up for the first time since entering Otou-san's room.

"They'll set Kyoto aflame on a windy day. In the chaos, they'll kidnap the Emperor and take him to Choshu." Hijikata-san said the shocking news bluntly.

Burn down Kyoto? The whole city? That was insane! Did those people even know what the consequences would be? Did they know how many people lived in this city and the amount of suffering that would be caused? The Choshu really seemed like they cared more and more about making a statement rather than the safety of the civilians within their own country. Souji rubbed my back comfortingly when I shifted uncomfortably at the news.

"They'll burn down Kyoto?!" Otou-san exclaimed in horror.

"Can you believe they want to kidnap the Emperor?" Heisuke said. "They act like they respect the Emperor, but I sure don't see it!"

"Those Choshu freaks must be nuts if they're serious about burning down the capital." Shinpachi-san stated.

"They're panicking since we apprehended Furutaka." Hijikata-san said to Otou-san and Sannan-san. "I imagine they'll hold a meeting tonight to come up with some countermeasures."

"Where do the Choshu meet?" Otou-san asked.

"Going by their usual pattern, I believe they'll meet at Shikokuya or Ikedaya." answered Shimada-san.

"Got it!" Otou-san said with authority. "Inform Aizu about this as well. Toshi, gather up our men!"

Hijikata-san nodded in affirmation before leaving the room. All the captains shortly got to work afterwards.

* * *

"Are these the only soldiers available?" Hijikata-san asked with seriousness as all the readily available soldiers dressed in their uniforms assembled in front of all the captains later that night.

Unfortunately, many of the soldiers were sick right now. Some of the soldiers were suffering from heat exhaustion and others were suffering from a cold that had been exasperated by the summer heat. The unfortunate part about living in such close quarters with other people is that if one person in the group you roomed with got sick then everyone sharing the same room got sick. I had tried to prevent more people from getting sick, but it was easier said than done. I did my best to isolate the sick from those who were still healthy, but because of their pride, many people refused to listen to me and admit they were sick until they had passed their cold on to other people and they themselves were feeling weak. Another factor to why people were getting sick was because many of them didn't wash their hands before eating. It has always been easy to say, "I'll wash my hands before I eat," but the reality of it was that most of the men were just too tired at the end of the day to even care about washing their hands before they ate. All of this resulted in fewer men that were healthy enough to go on tonight's raid.

"My apologies. I would help if I weren't injured." Sannan-san apologized self-depreciatively to Hijikata-san.

"No," Otou-san replied, "I need you to hold down the fort, Sannan-kun."

"I wish we could use them right now." Sano-san said off to the side, referring to the rasetsu vaguely and completely forgetting Chizuru-chan was standing nearby.

"They won't be ready for combat for a while yet." Saito-san said.

"Have the Aizu Domain and Shoshidai[1] set out?" Hijikata-san asked Inoue-san.

"I haven't heard word from either of them." answered Inoue-san.

Hijikata-san tsked in annoyance at the Aizu Domain's and the Shoshidai's reluctance to move. "So they won't move until they've seen hard evidence." Hijikata-san said with determination. "Kondou-san, let's head out."

"But we don't know if they're meeting at Shikokuya or Ikedaya." Otou-san stated.

"They normally go to Ikedaya for their meetings." Sannan-san said before elaborating, "I can't imagine they'd go there the night after Furutaka was apprehended. It's logical for them to meet at Shikokuya."

"But there's still the possibility they're at Ikedaya." I said. "If it's logical for us to assume they'll be going to Shikouya, they may have guessed our thinking pattern and gone to Ikedaya instead."

"Alight then!" Hijikata-san said after he heard from both me and Sannan-san. "Let's break up into two groups. I'll go to Shikokuya."

"Then I want you to take twenty-four men with you, Toshi." Otou-san said as he stood up from his seat.

"You're only taking ten men with you?! That's crazy!" Hijikata-san objected while I nodded in agreement. Wouldn't it been better if they divide the men among them in half? What if they guessed wrong and the meeting was at Ikedaya instead?

But Otou-san only smiled at Hijikata-san's and mine concern. "But I get Souji, Nagakura, and Heisuke." Otou-san said confidently.

"Very well." Hijikata-san yielded to Otou-san with his own confident smirk when he saw how confident Otou-san was.

"If our group finds them. You will provide backup."

Hijikata-san nodded before getting all the men ready to leave. Just as Otou-san's group was getting ready to leave, I tugged at Souji's sleeves to get his attention.

"Please be careful?" I said worriedly as I looked for a promise within his eyes.

"I will." he said gently as he put a hand on my cheek. "When it gets late I want you to go to bed. I don't want you waiting up and losing sleep."

"Huh? But what if someone gets injured?" I objected. "Don't I need to be on standby?"

"Just make sure all of your equipment is set out so that you'll be able to work the moment you wake up." Souji said as his hands drifted down to my belly. "Sleep and have someone wake you if your needed. You need all the sleep you can get right now."

I nodded and Souji kissed me before he turned around to follow after Otou-san.

"I expect you to be asleep when I return." Souji called back to me with a wink.

* * *

[1] The Kyoto Shoshidai (京都所司代 Kyōto Shoshidai) was an important administrative and political office in the early modern government of Japan. However, the significance and effectiveness of the office is credited to the third Tokugawa shogun, Iemitsu, who developed these initial creations as bureaucratic elements in a consistent and coherent whole.

The office was expanded and its duties codified as an office in the Tokugawa shogunate. The shoshidai, usually chosen from among the fudai daimyo, was the shogun's deputy in the Kyoto region, and was responsible for maintaining good relations and open communication between the shogunate and the imperial court. No less important, this official was also tasked with controlling the access of the daimyo to the Court. He was appointed to oversee financial measures and the court, and to ensure the emperor's personal security and for guarding the safety of the court. For example, the shoshidai supported the Kyoto magistrate or municipal administrator (the machi-bugyō) in making positive policy about firefighting for the royal palaces. In this context, working with the shoshidai would have been the administrator of the reigning sovereign's court (the kinri-zuki bugyō) and the administrator of the ex-emperor's court (the sendō-zuki bugyō), both of whom would have been shogunate appointees. He would have been at the head of a network of spies whose quiet task was to discover and report any covert sources of sedition, insurrection or other kinds of unrest.


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter 58**

"If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it's not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever." ― Dalai Lama XIV

"Deputy Commander." a voice called urgently as the door slid open quickly forty minutes after the main attack force left. Upon hearing the door open Sannan-san, who was lighting a candle for more light, and Chizuru-chan turned to the door. It was Yamazaki-san, clad in his normal black mission clothing. "The location is Ikedaya." Yamazaki-san informed Sannan-san.

"Ikedaya." Chizuru repeated while Sannan-san's expression grew sharp.

"Are you sure?" I gasped while raising a quivering hand to my mouth in horror. That was where Souji and Otou-san were heading with only eight other people! If the fighting started before they got reinforcements then they would be at a lethal disadvantage. I quickly covered my mouth with my hands to try to push back the feeling of sickness I developed when I heard that piece of news.

"How careless of me. I misjudged." Sannan-san managed to say calmly despite his voice being laced in dread.

"I will inform Vice Commander Hijikata at the Shikokuya at once." Yamazaki immediately said.

"Thank you." said Sannan-san. "Time is of the essence."

"Also, Yukimura-kun." Sannan-san addressed Chizuru-chan. "You go with Yamazaki-kun as well, please."

"Huh?" Chizuru-chan gasped in surprise. "You want…me to?"

"Pardon me, but I can convey a message on my own." Yamazaki-san objected politely.

"We don't know what might happen. You might get intercepted if you go by yourself" I interjected while tightening my hands into a quivering fist. "To make sure the message is received, two messengers are better than one. I would personally go, but…"

I couldn't go, not if the situation regarding what happened with Niimi meant anything to me. I was also twenty-three weeks pregnant, a lot further along than I was when I went with the others to take care of Niimi. Even if I were to go, my physical ability to deliver the message quickly would be greatly hindered by the extra weight I now carried in front of me.

"Understood." Yamazaki-san said after a quiet pause as he eyed my fists.

"Yukimura-kun. You'll go, won't you?" Sannan-san asked Chizuru-chan.

"Sir!" Chizuru-chan said with renewed determination.

Within a split second of Chizuru-chan answering yes to Sannan-san, Yamazaki-san turned and sped out the door. Chizuru-chan on the other hand, stood around looking confused for a few seconds before gasping and bolting out the door after Yamazaki-san.

"Shizuka-chan." Sannan-san said as soon as both messengers left. "Go prepare the medical wing for in case we have wounded. Knowing Kondou-san, he won't wait for reinforcements before he decides on a frontal assault at Ikedaya."

"Okay." I said quietly as I tried to get my shaking back under control.

I was worried beyond all belief, despite knowing that my worrying wouldn't do anyone any good, least of all me. But knowing that worrying over everyone was useless did not help make me stop. This was my family running into danger and I was scared. Otou-san, Souji, and the others would be at outnumbered two to one in enemy territory. It was true that the men that Otou-san had with him were extremely skilled and strong, but there were other factors in play. How long could the outnumbered men fight at full potential before they became exhausted? Fighting in the summer heat within enclosed spaces was less than optimal. The close quarters would also trap more heat, making the men more susceptible to heat exhaustion and/or heat stroke. It also didn't help that they were wearing an extra layer of clothing that was their uniform. Being exhausted while fighting in the extreme heat made it very easy to make stupid mistakes and stupid mistakes in this situation cost lives. As if the baby could feel my uncomfortable concern, it squirmed wildly before giving me a hard and slightly painful kick.

"Shizuka, calm down and breathe." Sannan-san said. I let out the breath I was holding. In all my fretting I didn't even realize I was holding my breath. As I was taking a deep breath, Sannan-san pat my back gently and gave me a small reassuring smile before saying, "Okita-kun and Kondou-san will be okay. Have faith in their strength. Okita-kun won't die knowing that if he did he would be leaving his wife and unborn child behind and Kondou-san will refuse to die without holding his grandchild first."

I nodded, knowing Sannan-san was correct and despite knowing the bleak situation right now, Sannan-san's words had a way of calming me. Besides, this wasn't the time to lose my cool. Realistically, there were going to be wounded men from this raid and to be an effective asset I would have to remain calm. A panicking doctor is a useless doctor. Bringing myself back into focus, I took one more deep breath.

"Please keep an eye on things in the front, Sannan-san." I said with my returning steady voice. "I'll be going to the medical wing to take inventory of all my supplies and to prepare my tools in case there is an emergency."

"Very well." Sannan-san said as he nodded in approval.

I gave Sannan-san a small bow to excuse myself before leaving the main hall for the medical wing. This raid was going to result in many stab and slash injures in the wounded so I had to be prepared to treat those type of injures. This meant that I had to make sure I had plenty of thread for sutures and bandages for the surface wounds. However, if there were life threatening injures, like a stab wound to a major organ, then I would have to have blood on hand and be ready to rush the injured person into surgery in a moment's notice.

Having blood on hand during this time period for a blood transfusion was very difficult. There were no blood banks to purchase blood from and there was no way of storing blood long-term effectively without a refrigerating system. Knowing what blood type the soldiers were was a problem too. As the main doctor of the Shinsengumi, I had never forced any of the men to come in for a mandatory checkup, hence I was missing the medical files of most the soldiers. In my past life, I worked in the emergency room, where people came in by choice or were rushed in by ambulance when they couldn't make a choice anymore. Staying true to that model, I only treated those who came in by choice or were rushed in due to a severe injury, meaning I only had the medical files of all those I had treated before. I clearly had to change the way I worked. How was I going to treat a person with severe blood loss if I didn't know his blood type to begin with? There was only so much type O blood to go around.

When I arrived at the medical wing, I quickly pulled the medical files of the soldiers I did have, which unsurprisingly consisted of mostly the first division, to see what information I had to work with. If push comes to shove, the men I did have medical files would need to act as blood donors. With Souji as the captain of the first division, it was no surprise I knew the men who worked under him the best. Because of how work often mixed into private life, I had come to become friendly with the soldiers in the first division. When they became friendly with me, they had no qualms with using the medical services I provided for free. I had treated nearly everyone in the first division for something, so I therefore had most of their medical files. The soldiers of the first division also listened to my medical advice on health so they, unsurprisingly again, made up of most of tonight's attack force. Maybe it was time I began to demand annual physical examinations from all the soldiers. If I had been actively monitoring the men's health more closely then perhaps more of them may have been able to join on tonight's raid.

Quickly scanning over the medical files, I located the areas I had recorded the blood types. There was a pretty decent blood type pool I could choose from. From the first division alone there were thirteen healthy, disease-free people I could draw blood from. There were three O's, two A's, seven B's, and one AB. After I had prepped the medical wing, I sat down at my desk. All I could do now was wait.

* * *

"Move, move, move, MOVE!" a voice demanded from outside the medical wing.

I quickly sat up when I heard the voice, I had somehow fallen asleep earlier and this urgent sounding voice roused me from my sleep. I looked out the slightly opened window to see the sun rising. It must have been just a few moments since dawn and the all the ruckus outside signaled to me that the men were just returning to headquarters. Just as I was about to stand up, the doors to the medical wing slammed open.

"Bring the injured this way!" Hijikata-san loudly instructed the men as he waved them towards the building. I sighed in relief when I saw Hijikata-san uninjured. If he returned at the same time Otou-san's men did, that meant he had gotten the message that the ronin were meeting at Ikedaya and had rushed over to provide backup.

I stood up and walked to where Hijikata-san was standing near the door just as some men began marching into the room with the injured on wooden boards that served as stretchers. Chizuru-chan, who arrived with Hijikata-san, immediately ran up to me when she saw me.

"Shizuka-chan!" Chizuru-chan called to me before she came to a stop in front of me. "Okita-san was injured during the raid."

"What?!" I gasped as my blood grew cold.

I swung my head to the line of soldiers carrying the injured into the medical wing, and lying unconscious on the third wooden stretcher was Souji. Souji was covered in blood but most of it wasn't his. The blood on his upper chest and around his mouth was his blood though. Quickly rushing to kneel at his side, I quickly examined him. There was no open cut so the injury that the blood was from was internal and the fact that the blood appeared to come from his mouth meant that the source of his internal injury was most likely his lungs.

"What happened?!" I demanded from Hijikata-san who had come to stand behind me.

"Souji took a blunt but powerful hit directly to his chest resulting in him coughing up blood." Hijikata-san said quietly with some guilt.

"Get Yamazaki-san in here." I ordered. "I'll need him to examine the other injured men while I examine Souji."

Hijikata-san nodded before he ordered a nearby soldier to go fetch Yamazaki-san.

Placing my hand on Souji's chest, I applied a light pressure to examine the condition of his ribcage. If one of his ribs had been broken and had been driven into his lungs then I would have to rush him into surgery. Thankfully, none of his ribs seemed broken. Because he received blunt force trauma to his chest and coughed up blood that meant that it was surely his lungs that had been damaged. When I pressed down on his chest a bit earlier, I noticed there was no swelling. This meant it was unlikely there was a pulmonary laceration[1] as there was no blood filling the pleural cavity[2] to cause swelling and to put pressure on his lungs. But from the sound of his uneven breaths, Souji was still having some issues with breathing.

"Hijikata-san, I need you to sit Souji up so I can check his airway more easily." I said. "Souji's breathing is uneven." Hijikata-san wordlessly did as I directed him to.

I opened Souji's mouth and pushed his tongue down with a clean stick so I could get a glimpse of the state of his airway. His airway was clear, but did have some blood remaining from his previous coughs. I gestured to Hijikata-san to let him know that he could put Souji down.

"He has a minor pulmonary contusion." I said as I sighed in relief. It wasn't as serious as I thought it would be.

"A pulmonary contusion? What's that?" Hijikata-san asked tensely.

"It's a contusion, or otherwise known as a bruise, of the lung that is caused by chest trauma. As a result of damage to capillaries surrounding the alveolar spaces, blood and other fluids collect in the lung tissue and interferes with gas exchange." I explained. "While this condition may be serious in some cases, Souji only has a minor case. Souji most likely didn't lose consciousness from the injury but from heat exhaustion."

"Heat exhaustion?" questioned Hijikata-san.

"Yes." I answered. "Other from the pulmonary contusion, Souji is showing the classic signs of heat exhaustion. He'll be fine with some rest."

"I see…" Hijikata-san sighed in relief.

"Chizuru-chan." I addressed the young woman kneeling next to me as Yamazaki-san arrived. "Can you go take care of Heisuke for me while I examine the other two men in the room?"

"O-Okay." Chizuru-chan said as she snapped into attention.

"You'll need to check to make sure he doesn't have a concussion before you clean his wound and suture it shut." I instructed. "And if he does have a concussion, I'll give you further instructions."

"Understood!" Chizuru-chan responded before running to Heisuke's side.

I gestured to Yamazaki-san when I caught his eye to examine one of the two remaining injured soldiers while I examined the other one. The soldier I was examining, who I believe had the surname of Goto, had a single stab wound to the abdomen. I could not tell how deep the stab wound was without an invasive procedure, but I could tell that his liver had been pierced. Goto was going to require surgery to fix the damage.

"Yamazaki-san, how are things on your end?" I asked without taking my eyes off of my own wounded patient.

"Severe blood loss." Yamazaki-san answered immediately. "An important artery was nicked and he needs a blood transfusion."

"Pack his injury to prevent him from losing more blood then look at the files on my desk to get O blood type donors." I ordered. "Once you get consent from the blood donors, draw no more than pint of blood from each donor. Then I need you to pass the blood you won't be using in the transfusion to me before you perform the transfusion on your patient."

"Understood." Yamazaki-san answer before leaping into action.

"You two!" I snapped at two nearby soldiers. "I need you to carry Goto to the room next door for surgery before going to fetch Saito-san and Inoue-san for me. Hijikata-san, I want you to get all the soldiers who participated in last night's raid to go bathe. I want everyone to be clean to prevent the risk of sickness from the aftermath of the raid. Make sure everyone eats and gets some sleep after they're clean."

"Got it." Hijikata-san said as he got to his feet to get his job done.

I followed the two soldiers I instructed earlier into the room next door. As soon as they placed Goto on the operating table, they scrambled out of the room in a rush to get Saito-san and Inoue-san. I would need Saito-san as an assistant for the surgery and Inoue-san to fetch some blood from Yamazaki. In less than five minutes after the two soldiers left the room, Saito-san and Inoue-san arrived at the operating room.

"You requested our presence?" Saito-san spoke up.

"I need some assistance for this surgery." I answered while prepping my patient for surgery. "Inoue-san, I need you to go retrieve the extra blood from Yamazaki-san. Make sure the blood you get is type O. Saito-san, you're going to be my assistant for this surgery so go scrub in."

"Alright." Inoue-san answered before he left to go get the blood needed for the surgery.

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

I let out a tired sigh as I exited the operating room and stepped back into the recovery room before pulling off my surgical gown. The man I had just operated on had a grade IV liver laceration, which consisted of parenchymal disruption[3] involving 25-75% of a lobe, or 1-3 segments of the liver. I had fixed up the liver to the best of my abilities with the help of Saito-san, but with the lack of familiar modern equipment there was only so much I could do. If there were no complications while the man was resting then he should be able to make a full recovering. As soon as the seven hour surgery ended, I had Saito-san and another man carry Goto back to the main portion of the medical wing to recover. It would be easier to monitor him in the recovery room where Souji and Heisuke were recovering.

"Shinpat-san, you should really let Chizuru look at that cut." I heard Heisuke say from his futon behind the room dividers I put up to provide the injured with some privacy.

"Nah, it's fine. Right, Chizuru-chan?" Shinpachi-san argued back.

"Um… B-But the cut on your hand is exactly the type of cut Shizuka-chan told me that I have to suture. A-And it's still bleeding!" Chizuru-chan stammered.

"Nope! All I have to do is wrap it up!" Shinpachi-san adamantly suggested.

"What's this? Shinpachi's afraid of a tiny needle?" I heard Sano-san tease.

"I ain't afraid of no needle!" Shinpachi-san objected. "Besides the needle isn't small!"

"Shh! Not so loudly! Other people are resting here too!" I heard Otou-san scold from further down in the room. Otou-san must have been sitting with Souji.

"Shinpachi-san, shut up. Your loud voice isn't helping my pounding headache." I heard Souji grumble. My mood instantly lifted when I heard Souji's voice. He was awake!

"Souji's just grumpy Shizuka hasn't come to visit him yet." Hijikata-san stated.

"I don't remember asking you for your opinion." Souji grumbled back. "Besides, how would you know if Shizuka hasn't come by to visit me yet? Even though I just woke up about a minute ago, I know you haven't been sitting here for more than five minutes."

"Shizuka just finished a seven hour surgery." I heard Saito-san defend Hijikata-san. "It is logical to assume she went to get some sleep first."

Souji said nothing more, but I could hear him grumble unhappily for a few more seconds. I sighed before I silently went to go retrieve a small suturing set from the cabinet next to me. Shinpachi-san needed to get his wound on his hand stitched shut.

"Are you sure you want to test the 'all I have to do is wrap it up' theory." I deadpanned as I stepped into plain sight with my hands on my hips.

"Yikes!" Shinpachi-san jumped. "Er, what injury are you talking about?" he lied poorly as he hid his hands suspiciously behind his back.

"Sano-san, Hijikata-san," I said with a gentle looking smile before narrowing my eyes, "grab him."

In a flurry of action, Shinpachi-san immediately made a break for the door. Sano-san quickly tackled Shinpachi-san's waist, knocking Shinpachi-san to the floor and Hijikata-san quickly grabbed Shinpachi-san's injured hand to prevent any more damage from occurring.

"Nooo…" Shinpachi-san whined pitifully on the floor as he fell limp.

"Man up Shinpat-san." Heisuke said gleefully.

"I promise it won't hurt." I sighed before giving him a small smile. I passed the small suturing kit off to Chizuru-chan before having Chizuru-chan take Shinpachi-san to a separate room to tend to the cut.

"Well then," Hijikata-san coughed to clear his throat after a moment of awkward silence, "why don't we go make sure Shinpachi isn't giving Chizuru any trouble?"

"Oh! That's a great idea, Toshi." Otou-san agreed cheerfully with Hijikata-san.

"Why don't we tag along, Saito?" Sano-san suggested and Saito-san nodded silently in agreement.

All four men then stood up simultaneously and walked out of the room in a single filed manner. While I was sure they did want to check up on Chizuru-chan and Shinpachi-san, I was sure they all really just left the room so they could give Souji and me some privacy. Heisuke, who couldn't leave the room because he was ordered on bed rest, gave a great, big, fake yawn before he turn on his side to face the other way before he pulled his blanket over his head.

"Shizuka." Souji called my name to get my attention. He was sitting up on the futon and giving me an expectant look as he pat his lap. "Come over here."

I smiled a small smile at him before I made my way to him. As soon as I sat down on his lap, Souji engulfed me in a warm embrace while rubbing his cheek against the top of my head. I hugged him back tightly, so tightly that the baby gave me a hard kick to protest its sudden lack of space. Souji chuckled when he felt the tiny kick against his stomach before he released me from his hug to pry my hands off of him.

"I'm sorry I worried you, but you need to remember to give the baby some room to move." Souji said wryly with a teasing grin.

I shook my head and pressed myself back against him and buried my face in his chest. I was terrified during the whole Ikedaya event and it was just such a large relief to be near Souji. I didn't want to let go of him anytime soon and the raging hormones that came with pregnancy didn't help with my emotions.

"Oh geez." Souji said with a gentle sigh before rubbing my back gently. "Just what am I supposed to do with you?"

"What happened at Ikedaya?" I asked quietly after a moment of silence. "I know how strong you are, so why were you one of the men who came back injured?"

"A man just caught me off guard after the exhaustion started getting to me." Souji said a bit darkly. He never did like admit defeat. "But he did say something interesting."

"What is it?"

"He said that he wasn't working with the Choshu."

I raised my face off of Souji's chest to look him in the eyes. "If he wasn't working with the Choshu, then why was that man there?" I asked with furrowed brows.

"I don't know." Souji said as he brushed a rogue strand of hair behind my ear. "Maybe he was spying on the Choshu on the behalf of another domain or maybe he was there for his own benefit. But you know, that man also said something else that was interesting."

"Something else?" I asked. I didn't know why, but for some reason I felt a sense of dread bubbling up in my stomach.

"Yeah." Souji answered. "He also said I carried a faint trace of a death."

I furrowed my brows once more at this information. What did he mean by "a faint trace of death"?

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"I dunno." Souji said as one of his hands slipped down to rest on my swollen belly. "At first I thought it was because I had already killed so many people, but then he said that the trace of death I carried was unnatural and had been rubbed on to me by someone I was around often. That this 'trace of death' came from someone that was called the 'Higanbana'. He then proceeded to try to get me to spill who it was…"

My mind became numb at that moment and I got lost in a thought as Souji continued to speak. "Higanbana"? My situation actually had a name? Who was this person…no, what was this person? How did he know my situation? Souji said that the man tried to get him to spill… Was that man looking for me? What in the seven circles of hell was going on? Could it be that man was also in a situation that was similar to mine or was it something else?

"…Shizuka? Shizuka!" Souji called me when he realized he lost my attention. I quickly snapped out of my thoughts and focused on Souji once more. "Are you alright?" he asked as he looked at me with concern.

"Ugh…" I moaned tiredly as I rest my head back against his chest to disguise what I was truly thinking about. "I just dozed off a bit. Sorry."

"Did you sleep last night?" Souji asked me while looking none too happy.

"Yes?" I said as I shrunk a bit. I did fall asleep at my desk, but that was only for about one hour and probably not what Souji meant by sleep. I should have said another excuse to avoid getting in trouble.

"Really? How long?" Souji asked me doubtfully.

"About an hour." I mumbled under my breath. Upon hearing my answer, Souji looked at me with displeasure and just as I was bracing myself for a lecture, my stomach growled.

"And when was the last time you ate?" Souji asked with his displeasure growing visibly on his face.

"Maybe it was during dinner last night?" I said with a light blush coloring my cheeks.

Souji looked at me unhappily before he gave me three heavy pats on the top of my head and pulled one of my cheeks. "You're pregnant right now." Souji said as he began his lecture. "You need to eat to get proper nutrients and rest if you want the baby to remain healthy."

"But I was too worried to." I objected weakly.

"You may have been worried, but that doesn't mean you don't have to put forth an effort to remain healthy. Don't forget that when you eat and sleep now you affect the baby's health too." Souji continued and as if the baby agreed with Souji's words, it gave me another swift kick. "See? Our son agrees with me too." Souji said after he felt the kick.

I grew silent and nodded obediently and apologetically at Souji. He did have a point. I did have to think on how my actions would affect the baby more. Souji looked me in the eye a bit longer before he became satisfied with my response.

"Yamazaki-kun." Souji then suddenly called and just as quickly Yamazaki-san was summoned, Yamazaki-san appeared out of nowhere in a flash.

"Yes, Okita-san?" Yamazaki-san asked.

"Go to the kitchens and find Shizuka something to eat." Souji ordered.

"Understood." Yamazaki-san said before he vanished instantly with a swish.

"Wait, what about you? You haven't eaten anything since last night either." I accused Souji. He left last night to go on the raid and returned unconscious and remained that way for several hours until a couple minutes ago. He didn't have time to eat anything.

"We'll share." Souji said cheekily to avoid my lecture I was preparing for him.

"You smartass…" I mumbled quietly under my breath when I lost my chance to lecture him back, causing Souji to grin teasingly at me when he caught my words.

"Hmm… I don't know about smartass. I prefer sexy ass." Souji said with a mischievous smirk, causing me to flush again.

"LALALA!" we suddenly heard from under Heisuke's blankets, drawing both of our attention. "I'M SLEEPING HERE!"

"Then ignore us and continue sleeping." Souji called back before he picked a cushion off the floor and tossed it at Heisuke.

"Oof!" Heisuke said as the pillow hit his face over his blanket.

* * *

"What is it?" Hijikata-san said as I stared at him while he worked on a letter the next day. I think that letter he was writing was to his sister. "You only look at me like this when you want something. Spit it out."

"An annual physical exam." I said bluntly without an explanation.

"What?" Hijikata-san paused his writing to look at me with confusion. He didn't really understand what I was asking for.

"The men in the Shinsengumi need to participate in an annual physical exam." I said again. "I realized how many unhealthy men we had in the Shinsengumi yesterday and how few medical files I had. I want to be able to conduct an annual physical exam to examine the health of the soldiers. I want the first exam to be next week."

"Wait. Does the Shinsengumi need to have annual physical exams?" Hijikata-san asked. "We do have a few sick men, but that's only because of the intense summer heat, right?"

"That's not the only reason." I said as I unhappily poked his chest. "I noticed that the men don't really like to clean, so they're living in their own filth a lot. Many of the men aren't really eating a balanced meal either because their use to living at home where their female relatives cooked for them. Plus, if we do an annual physical exam, I could use this chance to screen the men for any possible illnesses, like latent tuberculosis."

"Wait! You can do that now?" he asked in shock.

"Yup!" I said with pride.

I had just finished recreating the modern TB skin test. The TB skin test was performed by injecting a small amount of tuberculin into the skin in the lower part of the arm. A person that was given the skin test would have to have the injection site examine within forty-eight to seventy-two hours to look for a reaction on the arm. If there the injection site was raised, or had a hard area, or swollen, then that meant that the person was infected with the TB bacteria. However, if a person did test positive, further testing would be needed to determine if that person had latent TB or the full TB infection. But this test still gave me a chance to catch TB early. While it was possible to treat TB after it became active, it was still easier to treat latent TB. And to sweeten the deal, the drug to treat latent TB was already complete. If I caught anyone with latent TB with the TB skin test then I could treat it early before it developed into the full-blown killing infection.

"Alright." Hijikata-san yielded to my request. "We'll have a physical exam next week and if does benefit the men's health then we'll have one annually."

* * *

[1] A pulmonary laceration is a chest injury in which lung tissue is torn or cut. An injury that is potentially more serious than pulmonary contusion, pulmonary laceration involves disruption of the architecture of the lung, while pulmonary contusion does not. Pulmonary laceration is commonly caused by penetrating trauma but may also result from forces involved in blunt trauma such as shear stress. A cavity filled with blood, air, or both can form. The injury is diagnosed when collections of air or fluid are found on a CT scan of the chest. Surgery may be required to stitch the laceration, to drain blood, or even to remove injured parts of the lung. The injury commonly heals quickly with few problems if it is given proper treatment; however it may be associated with scarring of the lung or other complications.

[2] In human anatomy, a pleural cavity is the thin fluid-filled space between the two pleurae (visceral and parietal) of each lung. Left and right pleural cavities surround the left and right lungs respectively. A pleura is a serous membrane which folds back onto itself to form a two-layered membranous structure. The outer pleura (parietal pleura) is attached to the chest wall, but is separated from it by the endothoracic fascia. The inner pleura (visceral pleura) covers the lungs and adjoining structures, including blood vessels, bronchi and nerves.

[3] A dysfunction of function of the organ.


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter 59**

"Never miss a good chance to shut up." ― Will Rogers

"This is medicine." Chizuru-chan said as she placed a small dose of Ishida Sanyaku and a cup of saké on the floor in front of where Sannan-san was seated.

Two days after the Ikedaya event all the captains and the commanders were sitting in a circle in the main hall discussing the results of Ikedaya. By then, Souji had stopped coughing up blood from his pulmonary contusion and was able to leave bedrest with the help of painkillers to numb the pain and to make breathing easier; Heisuke had recovered enough to only need painkillers; and Sannan-san, whose injury predated Ikedaya, was able to remove his left arm from its sling.

"Oh my." Sannan-san said in reaction to the dose of Ishida Sanyaku being place in front of him. "Am I taking it too? The flesh wound to my left arm has gotten better."

"But Hijikata-san told me to bring it for you." Chizuru-chan explained with concern for Sannan-san's wellbeing apparent.

After Chizuru-chan's explanation, Sannan-san looked from Chizuru-chan to the stern-looking man sitting in front of him. Hijikata-san was wearing a stricter than usual expression that conveyed the silent message, "Eat the damn medicine or else…"

"Sannan-san. Let's just give in." Souji said whimsically as he poured his dose of Ishida Sanyaku down his throat.

"You don't have to eat it." I contradicted Souji from my seat as I eyed Souji eagerly attacking his cup of saké from his seat next to me. "I think it's pretty useless." Hijikata-san gave me a pointed look of annoyance after my comment which I shrugged off without a problem. I had received too many of those looks already to have it affect me anymore.

Like Sano-san and unlike Saito-san, I wasn't a firm believer of Ishida Sanyaku. A few years ago, out of curiosity, I examined this powdered medication that Hijikata-san's family manufactured. There was absolutely nothing special about Ishida Sanyaku. It was made by powdering a charred flowering plant, which I saw often but did not know the name of that grew near rivers. There were no chemical compounds that really affected the body greatly in this medication. All a person got from consuming this medication was really a small shot of vitamin A and C and also a small amount of fiber. But despite the vitamins that this medication did provide and the lack of horrendous side effects, I personally would not eat this medication if I had a choice. The plant itself was already fairly bitter and to char this plant before consumption just made it even bitterer than before. All in all, Ishida Sanyaku reminded me of the black horrible tasting Chinese medicine my mom in my past life always forced down my throat when I had a cold. I personally believed that the tiny benefits of consuming Ishida Sanyaku was not worth the horrible taste that would linger in your mouth for hours after consumption.

Looking between Hijikata-san and me, Sannan-san must have decided it would have been far too much work if he disobeyed Hijikata-san because he smiled kindly before picking his dose of Ishida Sanyaku off the floor.

"If the Vice Commander orders it…" Sannan-san said before he flicked open the paper containing the medication and dumped it into his mouth.

"Was this medicine specially prescribed?" Chizuru-chan asked with curiosity as Sannan-san knocked back his own small cup of sake.

"Ishida Sanyaku?" Sano-san said with a small smile, as if laughing about a hidden joke, before taking a sip of saké from his own cup. "Well, yeah, I guess it's special."

"Ishida Sanyaku?" Chizuru-chan tested the name on her lips.

"Hijikata-san's family makes it." Souji said with a grin after he set down his empty cup. He winked at me playfully when I snorted at his response. Hijikata-san really only made everyone eat it just because his family produced it, despite not really believing that Ishida Sanyaku was all that effective himself.

"That's right!" Heisuke said energetically with his hands behind his head before pretending to be a salesman while waving his arms in bold gestures to aid in pitching the fake sale. "If your body's been cut up, no matter how much it hurts, this'll heal you right up! That's Ishida Sanyaku! C'mon, give it a try! I wonder how it really is…" After finishing his fake sale's pitch, Heisuke poured some of it into his mouth before cringing and yelling, "Gross!"

"Care to try me?" Hijikata-san said darkly while holding up his magically glowing fist of anger as a threat.

"C-Come on, now!" Heisuke said in childish panic before he looked away while rubbing the top of his head. "I can't go gettin' more injuries, can I?!" he said with a pout, causing everyone to laugh.

"Still, to think there were fighters who could even harm Okita-kun and Toudou-kun…" Inoue-san said seriously after the laughter died down, steering the conversation back on track.

"Next time we meet, I will be the winner." Souji said as he lost all sense of humor he previously had. The defeat was really bothering him and I knew he would like nothing better but to go back and defeat that man from Ikedaya.

"It seems they claimed that they weren't Choshu." Saito-san brought up an issue.

"Yeah." Heisuke agreed.

"However, the Ikedaya was supposedly cleared out its other guests that day." Saito-san continued.

"Meaning what?" Shinpachi-san said with a serious expression as he put his injured hand under his chin while thinking.

"They could have been spies from another domain that snuck in." I suggested.

"But why?" asked Sano-san. Well, wasn't that the million dollar question? Now if we only had an answer. "For what reason?"

Saito-san shook his head in response to indicate that no answer was known right now. The room fell silent with that gesture.

"Well, on to other business…" I said energetically to interrupt the uncomfortable silence that had settled in the room. "Did Hijikata-san tell you guys about the physical exam I will be conducting in five days?"

"Physical exam?" Otou-san asked before looking at Hijikata-san questioningly.

"I was going to tell everyone but hadn't had the chance yet." Hijikata-san explained.

"With the whole Ikedaya affair, I realized a few things." I explained before pulling out my written notes from my kimono. "Number one: During the Ikedaya affair the Shinsengumi did not have many men available for the raid because a good number of them were too sick to join in. With the physical exam, I'm going to try to get to the root of the illnesses breaking out among the soldiers and figure out a way to keep the men healthy. Number two: While preparing and during emergency treatment of the two severely injured men, I noticed that I did not have the medical files of all the men. I was pretty lucky I was able to treat the men this time without knowing their medical history. But without complete medical files on the all the men, it feels like I'm going in blind. If I want to improve the quality of treatment and improve the general health of the soldiers, I'm going to need to know their medical history."

"Hmm… I see." Otou-san said while nodding his head in agreement.

"If I get my way, I'll conduct an annual physical exam around this time of the year and all new recruits will have to submit to a physical exam when they join the Shinsengumi too." I continued. "In order for the Shinsengumi to remain strong, not only will the men need to receive training from the kendo instructors daily, but they will also need their bodies to remain healthy."

"I understand your point, but what is the exam going to consist of?" Sano-san asked. "We still have duties to attend to on that day and we'll have to readjust our schedules if the exam is going to take a while."

"Here, take a look at this." I said as I flipped my notebook open to the section under Annual Physical Exams. Once the page was found, I placed the notebook in plain sight in the center of the circle and everyone leaned in to read what was on the page.

_Annual Physical Exams will consist of:_

_Vital Signs_

_I. __Blood pressure: Less than 120 over 80 is a normal blood pressure. High blood pressure (hypertension) is defined as 140 over 90 or higher._

_II. __Heart rate: Values between 60 and 100 are considered normal. Many healthy people have heart rates slower than 60, however. _

_III. __Respiration rate: From 12 to 16 breaths per minute is normal for a healthy adult. Breathing more than 20 times per minute can suggest heart or lung problems._

_IV. __Temperature: 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit is the average, but healthy people can have resting temperatures slightly higher or lower._

_General Appearance_

_I. __Weight and height: Is the weight a healthy weight for person's height?_

_II. __Heart exam: Listening to the heart with a stethoscope, might detect an irregular heartbeat, a heart murmur, or other clues to heart disease._

_III. __Lung exam: Using a stethoscope to listens for crackles, wheezes, or decreased breath sounds. These and other sounds are clues to the presence of heart or lung disease._

_IV. __Head and neck exam: Opening mouth and saying "ah" shows off your throat and tonsils. The quality of the teeth and gums also provides information about your overall health. Ears, nose, sinuses, eyes, lymph nodes, thyroid, and carotid arteries may also be examined._

_V. __Abdominal exam: Use a range of examination techniques including tapping the abdomen to detect liver size and presence of abdominal fluid, listening for bowel sounds with a stethoscope, and palpating for tenderness._

_VI. __Neurological exam: Nerves, muscle strength, reflexes, and mental status may be assessed_

_VII. __Dermatological exam: Skin and nail findings could indicate a dermatological problem or disease somewhere else in the body._

_VIII. __Extremities exam: Will look for physical and sensory changes. Pulses can be checked in arms and legs. Examining joints can assess for abnormalities._

_General Screening_

_I. __Tuberculosis skin test: all men have a follow up in 2 days_

_II. __Basic blood test to take blood type and check for imbalances_

_III. __Check background for any previous illnesses that may result in immunity (measles, smallpox, etc.), note most deaths by disease are caused by acute illnesses like influenza, typhoid, dysentery, and typhus (caused by bacteria and can be treated through antibiotics)_

_IV. __Penis exams: To scan for sexually transmitted illnesses._

_V. __Hernia exam: "Turn your head and cough" checks for weakness in the abdominal wall between the intestines and scrotum._

_VI. __Testicular exam: Check each testicle for lumps, tenderness, or changes in size. Lumps may indicate cancer._

_VII. __Prostate exam: inserting a finger in the rectum to feel the prostate for its size and any suspicious areas._

At first when all the men started reading, they just bobbled their heads up and down in agreement with what was written. It was when they got to the last parts of the General Screening part where things…got interesting. The men all turned a pasty white color while breaking out into cold sweat. Chizuru-chan, who was reading my notes along with the men in the room, turned a bright red color before she squeaked and covered her face with both her hands.

Ah, they were all probably thinking it was going to be me performing the last parts of the General Screening portion, thus their reactions. To all the men in the room, minus Otou-san and Souji, I was often viewed as the little sister. For them to imagine that I was going to perform the exams from the penis exam to the prostate exam wasn't just awkward, but down right terrifying. This wasn't any better for Otou-san or Souji either. For Otou-san, it wasn't any less awkward but possibly more. And for Souji, he probably wouldn't mind the exams performed on himself, well except for the prostate exam because he didn't like getting a finger stuck up his ass, but just the fact that it was his pregnant wife performing the same exams on other men…Well, I'm sure we wouldn't have enough caskets for the astronomically large body count we would have at the end of the day.

"T-The last part was just a j-joke, right?" Shinpachi-san stammered as he raised his head to look at me.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" I deadpanned. "I'm completely serious."

"Souji, s-say something to your wife." Hijikata-san demanded while looking deathly pale as he eyed my fingers.

I sighed at all their reactions. They were all acting like I had never seen a penis before and it wasn't like I was going to be examining the men's private parts for sexual pleasure. I was just doing my job as a good doctor.

"Relax." I said to the men to stop their panicking. Men could be such babies sometimes. "I figured that everyone would feel uncomfortable if it was me performing the last part of the General Screening, so I am going to have Yamazaki-san do that part while I take care of the other things."

At my words, everyone in the room breathed out a breath of relief.

"I still don't feel comfortable, but it's a hell lot better than before." Sano-san said while eyeing me wearily.

"Hmm…" Souji sighed exasperatedly as he draped his hands over my shoulders. "I do feel better knowing you won't be going near the other men's equipment, but I rather not have Yamazaki-kun's hands come near mine."

"He won't have to." I responded to Souji innocently as I rubbed his arms. "You can skip the last part of the exams. I know your parts are plenty healthy. I would have never let you stick yourself inside of me if otherwise, and seeing how I'm now pregnant, we all know how healthy your parts are."

"Ahem! Right…" Hijikata-san said after cough with a light blush coloring his cheeks.

"Most of these components can be done rather fast, but there will still be some wait time." I returned to answer Sano-san's question. "I'll have set appointment times for the different divisions of the day of the physical exam. Two divisions will have the same appointment time so I can examine both divisions at once. While I'm examining the two divisions, the other divisions will be free to perform their duties so they don't have to waste their time in long lines. This way I can cycle through all the squads by the end of the day without the men missing out on their duties because of having to wait in line."

"Then what about the blood test?" asked Saito-san. "I assume that you will have to draw blood for the test, but with so many people, will you be able to examine the blood while it is still viable?"

Saito-san had a very good point. Without a proper refrigeration system, the blood I drew from the men was not going to last for very long so it had to be processed quickly. But if I did draw blood from every man all at once then I was going to overwhelm myself with the quantity of blood samples. However, I had already found a way to deal with that problem.

"I'm only going to draw blood from one division at a time and I won't draw any blood from the other divisions until I have processed what I have gathered first." I said. "This way I can process all the blood samples I do have without losing the viability of the blood samples and I won't be overworked by the sheer number of blood test I will have to process. However, this process may take an entire week and I will need the assistance of Chizuru-chan to speed up the process."

"Ehh?!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed in surprise. "But I don't think I know enough medical knowledge to help yet." She was also probably thinking that they guys probably wouldn't trust her enough yet to let her help, but with what she did at Ikedaya, she had earned enough of everyone's trust.

"You do know enough to help me by now." I said. "All you lack is experience, which you will be getting when you help me."

"O-Oh. Will this be okay?" Chizuru-chan asked shyly.

"Why not." Otou-san answered cheerfully. "If Shizu-chan says it's okay, then it's okay."

* * *

"You sure you don't want to go to bed before me?" Souji asked later that day during the Hour of the Boar as he sharpened his sword on the whetstone. I shook my head no in response.

I should have gone to bed already, but I wasn't really tired yet. I was up in the main hall with Souji and Saito-san as they did upkeep on their blades. The whetstone they had before Ikedaya showed up again so they decided to do maintenance on their swords.

I had always liked watching Souji work on his blade. If there was anything Souji excelled at beyond anyone else then it would be any type of sword work. Seeing Souji work with a blade was like watching magic. He was so skill and so graceful with anything to do with a sword that it was mesmerizing. Souji also knew for a fact that he was skilled with a blade. Just this knowledge alone made Souji more confident when he was dealing with swords and I believed that it was when Souji was most confident was when he was most attractive. He knew what he was doing and knew that he did it well, so he flourished. It was like watching a rare flower bloom under the moonlight during a dark night.

"I'm not sleepy yet." I said as I nuzzled his shoulder before snuggling into his side. I was feeling really touchy-feely right now. "Besides, I like watching you work with a sword."

Souji had momentarily paused his work when I pressed myself into his side to look at me. He smiled at himself when he heard my words before he resumed his work in silence.

"What about your naginata?" Saito-san suddenly asked. "When was the last time you did some maintenance work on it?"

"Back in February." I answered. "Souji confiscated it when I told him I was pregnant."

"You shouldn't be dealing with weapons right now." Souji defended his actions without looking up from his work.

"It's not like I was going to grab it and go pick a fight with someone…" I muttered under my breath.

"Are you sure?" Souji said as he arched a single eyebrow. "Even if it wasn't a fight, you still might grab it and go do something stupid. It has always been difficult for you to sit still."

After Souji's retort, I grumbled a bit without an objection. What he said was true…

"Oh, hey." someone said as he stuck his head into the main hall before entering and catching our attention. It was Sano-san. "You guys doing a little upkeep too?"

"The whetstone we had back before Ikedaya showed up again, so we figured now was a good time as any." Souji said as he paused his work to look up at Sano-san.

"Huh. I guess Ikedaya ruined a lot of blades?" said Sano-san. He was probably referring to Heisuke's sword. At the end of Ikedaya, Heisuke's sword was chipped and warped beyond all belief. There was no way it could be fixed and Heisuke was going to have to go buy a new sword.

"We came through relatively well." answered Saito-san as he too paused his work to look up at Sano-san. "Some polishing and sharpening is all we require, but I have heard Heisuke was not so fortunate."

"His sword was warped and chipped beyond repair." I said. I had seen the poor state of Heisuke's sword. "He's going to have to go purchase a new sword."

Sano-san nodded when he heard my words before speaking up, "Oh that reminds me, Hijikata-san said that if your sword's on its way out to hurry up and buy a new one."

"Easy for him to say." Souji snorted. "He going to foot the bill?"

"I find that highly unlikely." answered Saito-san.

"Well, everyone who participated in Ikedaya received 3 ryō, right?" I asked innocently.

As a reward for a job well done, Aizu had given the Shinsengumi 600 ryō and a few other supplies. Wanting to boost morale, Otou-san and Hijikata-san gave everyone who participated 3 ryō to spend on whatever they wanted. Some, like Heisuke, were going to have to use the bonus money to purchase a new sword. However, most of the men ran off to Shimabara the moment they received their bonus.

"Yeah, but that's not what most people will want to spend their bonus on." Souji said as the corner of his lips twitched upwards before he pecked me on the lips.

"A spear doesn't need to be in that good of shape to do its job, but it seems like a sword needs a lot more work." Sano-san said to continue on the topic of the katana. "Do they really get dull if you get oil on them?"

"Cheap swords are ruined if you get blood or oil on them, yes." Souji explained. "But a nice sword… Whoever made it put a lot of skill and research into forging it, so it takes a lot to make it start to dull."

"Once your blade grows dull, it does not cut as well, and can even begin to chip." Saito-san added. "The same will happen with a cheap sword, regardless of care."

"Yeah." said Souji. "The truth is, if you take a look at the hilt of a man's sword, you can tell how well he takes care of it."

"Huh…" Sano-san said before switching topics. "Oh, did you guys notice? Hijikata-san switched to a really long wakizashi."

"A long wakizashi…?" Saito-san asked with his curiosity tickled.

"Yeah, he told me it's almost two feet long." said Sano-san.

Wasn't a normal katana two feet long? That wasn't a long wakizashi. Why did Hijikata-san change swords in the first place? His katana was still fine and functional.

"Isn't that about as long as a regular katana? How's it a wakizashi?" Souji voiced my thoughts.

"Well, the longer the better I guess." said Sano-san. "He said that when push comes to shove, that means he can just use it like a katana. I guess everybody's katana got pretty beat up at Ikedaya, huh? I guess he wants a backup if that happens again."

"Hmm, I suppose that would make sense." Saito-san said, taking Sano-san's words like it was the gospel.

"Eh, I dunno…" Souji said doubtfully while being more critical of Hijikata-san's actions.

"You think it's something else?" asked Sano-san when he caught Souji's tone.

"It has to be." I said. "Hijikata-san's katana is still in pretty good condition, so the reason he switched blades has to be something else."

Souji nodded in agreement with my statement before saying what he really thought. "Well, think about it. You know how when you meet somebody important, you have to take off your katana?" asked Souji. "They'll usually let you leave your wakizashi on. Have to admit, I'm a little impressed. That's pretty damn sneaky."

Oh, so that's why Hijikata-san switched swords. Souji was right. That was pretty sneaky.

"Interesting…." said Sano-san. "That's two full swords on his hip, though. Isn't that heavy?"

"True. Might make it hard to move quickly." answered Souji.

"I doubt it presents a man like Hijikata-san with much difficulty." said Saito-san.

"Maybe," Souji responded, "but I'm sure it's still pretty heavy. Otherwise he'd be making everyone do it."

"You got a point there." Sano-san agreed. "Well, next time you run into the Commander have a look for yourselves."

"Oh, before I forget," I suddenly said to Souji as I remembered some business I forgot to mention. "Can we go to the market tomorrow?"

"Hmm? What for?" Souji asked as he turned to look at me.

"I need to buy some cloth. I should really begin to make some baby clothes now." I said.

This wasn't like modern day where you could go and buy whatever you wanted at a store. Adult clothing was easy enough to find at the market, but baby clothing, not so much. I needed to start sewing some baby clothing if I wanted some clothing for my child to wear once it was born.

"Alright." Souji agreed with a smile. "We'll go tomorrow morning."

"Have you guys decided on a name yet?" Sano-san asked Souji and I.

"Well, not really…but…" I said.

"But I really want to name him after myself." Souji finished what I was saying with a childish pout.

"How are you so sure the baby's going to be a boy?" I asked Souji again. His mind was set that our child was going to be a boy based on superstition.

"Chichi knows best." Souji answered me smugly. "You'll see. When the baby's born it'll be a boy and we'll name him Soujiro."

I giggled at Souji's confident voice. Alright, if the baby is really a boy then I'll let Souji name our child what he wanted, just as long as it wasn't a terrible name.

* * *

"What do you think of this one?" I asked Souji at the market the next morning as I held up a dark green cloth with sparrow patterns on it.

"I like it." Souji answered as he reached out to take the cloth out of my hands before he turned to the shopkeeper. "We'll take this roll of cloth."

"Alright." the shopkeeper said cheerfully. "Why don't I give you a discount since I can see your wife is expecting. The cloth is going to be for baby clothing, yes?"

Souji nodded while chatting with the shopkeeper before happily paying for the roll of cloth.

"I hope to see you again!" the shopkeeper called after us politely as we left the shop.

"Anything else you want to buy?" Souji asked as he put one of his hands on the small of my back.

"Not that I can think of." I said.

"Okay then." Souji said before he directed me in the opposite direction of where headquarters were. Did Souji want to go somewhere else before we headed back?

"Where are we going?" I asked with curiosity.

"It's a surprise." Souji winked playfully at me.

"Oh." I said as I allowed Souji to guide me towards where he wanted to go.

After about five minutes Souji and I came to a stop right outside a kimono shop that was right across the street from a sword shop. Souji grinned at me when I looked at him questioningly before he guided me inside the clothing store.

"How may I help you." the clerk chirped the moment he saw Souji and I enter the store.

"Well, I'm looking here to treat my wife and I have…" Souji said before reaching into his sleeve to pull out the 3 ryō he received from participating in the Ikedaya raid, "…this as my budget."

"Oh! This way please." the clerk said with delight as he eyed the large sum of money in Souji's hands.

As the clerk started to lead us toward the back of his shop where all the pricier kimono were, I grabbed Souji's sleeve to get his attention.

"You earned that money so you should spend it on yourself, not me." I said with a frown.

"But I am spending it on me." Souji said innocently as he brushed off what I said earlier. "After all, what man doesn't enjoy pampering his wife? Just seeing you smile is enough for me."

"But…" I said as I looked for another excuse. Souji earned that money literally with his blood and sweat. He shouldn't have to spend it on me and I thought it would be nice if he treated himself to nice things more.

"Don't use 'I'm pregnant so therefore If I buy a new kimono now, it won't be able to fit later' as an excuse." Souji said just before I was going to speak again. "You know that won't work."

I closed my mouth at his words. What he said was true. The way a woman's kimono was worn was by folding up the extra cloth in an ohashori, the fold at the waist that made it look like the kimono consisted of a separate top and bottom, to adjust the kimono to the proper length. All I had to do to be able to wear the same kimono with my growing belly was have a smaller fold and the moment the baby bump was gone, all I had to do was fold the kimono more. Souji shot me a smug but satisfied look when I shut up and continued guiding me towards the back of the shop.

"So is there a particular design you're looking for?" the clerk asked Souji as we caught up.

"A black tomesode[1] with a red floral pattern to match her kanzashi." Souji said as he let his hand fall to rest on my hip.

"Ah, I see." the clerk said as he led us to a section of the shop that consisted of kimono with red floral patterns. "Let me know when you see something you like."

Souji nodded at the clerk to dismiss him for now before he turned to me with a smile. "Go ahead and look for one that you like." Souji urged me gently.

With a gentle nudge from Souji, I left his side to start browsing through the many tomesode. There were so many to choose from and they were all fairly expensive. While I was browsing through the different tomesode, Souji went to do some browsing himself. After about ten minutes or so of looking through the different patterns, Souji called me over to where he was.

"How about this one." Souji said as he held out the tomesode draped over his arms.

I found the tomesode that Souji had picked out to be lovely. The top was a solid plain black but the bottom part under where the obi would be tied had a gracefully woven pattern of red chrysanthemums. I instantly fell in love with it, but not just because it was pretty. What I really fell in love with was the symbolism. The red chrysanthemum in the Japanese culture symbolized love and the fact that Souji chose it for me… How could I not swoon?

Souji chuckled when he saw my face brighten up. "So this is the one…" he said before picking up a matching black obi with a simple white striped pattern. "Let's go pay for this one, shall we?"

"Thank you and have a nice day!" the clerk said to us as we left the shop. Souji chuckled cheerfully when he saw me smiling stupidly and hugging my new kimono to my chest as we left the shop.

"I figured this would make you happy." Souji said with a grin as he brushed the side of my cheek with the back of one of his fingers. "Let's head back to…"

Souji paused without completing his statement and he arched his eyebrow as he stared across the street at the sword shop. Wondering what caught his attention, I looked at where he was staring. Across the street in the shop I could see Heisuke through the open window.

"Let's go have a peek to see what he's up to." Souji said mischievously as we crossed the street to check on Heisuke.

"Well, here I am in a sword shop in Kyoto." I heard Heisuke speaking to himself as he browsed through the many katana. "As for why? Thanks to the commotion in Ikedaya, my sword is pretty much in rags. Although the wound on my forehead can heal with some saliva, that doesn't work for a sword. So I'm here to get a replacement… Why am I explaining this?! Never mind!" he exclaimed as he pulled on his own hair before he continued scanning all the swords rather quickly. "Sword…sword… How about this? Ah, it's a little light. Feels like holding a feather. Then this… Ah, this one is too long. I could get the swordsmith to shorten it a little when I pay, but should I just take this one…?"

"Well, Heisuke?" Souji said as he alerted Heisuke to our presence behind him. "Are you here for swords? That's rare."

"Oh! Souji, Shizuka! Actually—"

"Souji and Heisuke, what are you two up to together?" someone else said. Looking to the right we saw Saito-san. It really wasn't too much of a surprise to see Saito-san here at a sword shop. He nodded at me to acknowledge my presence.

"Oh, Hajime-kun." said Souji. "Actually we just met."

"Are you two feeling alright?" asked Saito-san as he referred to the wounds they both received at Ikedaya. "If you're not on duty today, better stay at headquarters and rest."

"Feeling alright?" asked Heisuke, not really understanding why Saito-san was asking.

"You wounds from Ikedaya." Saito-san elaborated.

"Oh that! That'll heal with a few licks." Heisuke said enthusiastically.

Saito-san sighed at Heisuke's carefree attitude before turning to ask Souji, "Souji too?"

"I wasn't injured to begin with." Souji denied. "What are you talking about Hajime-kun?"

Saito-san looked to me for my response, but I just shrugged. Souji's injury wasn't very serious in the first place so I wasn't too worried.

"I see." said Saito-san. "Oh well, you two look healthy enough. That's good."

"Yup, yup. Back on topic. Heisuke, you need something here, right?" Souji asked Heisuke.

"Yup." Heisuke replied as he gestured to his unsalvageable sword. "Since this dude is done for, I need a new sword."

"Is this… Kazusanosuke Kaneshige?" Saito-san asked in disbelief as he stared at Heisuke's sword.

"Ah-ah. It's pretty much worn-out." Souji said as he eyed the beat up sword.

"It's ruined since I lost count of the ronin I slashed that night." Heisuke said with a shrug. "It can't be helped."

"'Can't be helped' is no excuse to give up on such a celebrated sword. Have you tried sharpening it?" Saito-san immediately scolded Heisuke.

"No matter how many swordsmiths I asked, they all say it's beyond repair. So I need a new one." Heisuke justified himself to Saito-san.

"Easy for you to say." Souji snorted. "A sword this good wouldn't be easy to find."

Heisuke's current beat-up sword was an extremely good and pricy sword. Swords that were good enough to receive names were always the best of quality and had famous forgers. It was such a shame that Kazusanosuke Kaneshige was ruined.

"I figured so." Heisuke sighed as his face fell with disappointment. "But I think as long as it's easy to use, then it's a good sword. I'm not attached to swords. As long as it can replace my previous one, any sword will do."

With that statement the Heisuke uttered, Saito-san became increasingly annoyed. Saito-san was a real big nerd when it came to swords. It was his passion.

"Hey Heisuke!" Saito-san exclaimed with a raised voice.

"Eh?" Heisuke said as he jumped a little in surprise at Saito-san's forceful tone. "What was that for?"

"This is Kazusanosuke Kaneshige, a world-famous sword! You wrecked it and even want to dump it… What a shame for sword-users." Saito-san lectured.

"Even if you say so…"

"It's Heisuke's bad. Geez. When will you learn?" Souji cut in.

"Fine." Heisuke relented. "My bad. Anyway, I have no idea what sword to pick, so why don't you pick a nice one for me?"

"Alright." Saito-san let up on his lecture. "Even though it's hard to find one comparable to Kazusanosuke Kaneshige, you do need a sword for carrying out your duties. I'll help."

"What's your budget?" Souji asked.

"Any will do. After receiving the reward for Ikedaya, I think I have 200 ryō to spare." Heisuke said without much thought, causing my jaw to drop.

He had freaking 200 ryō to spare?! Everyone only got 3 ryō from the Ikedaya event, so that meant he had 197 ryō before, that is, if he even counted the measly 3 ryō he received in his statement. Where the hell did he get all his money and if he was getting so much money then how is it that he was broke sometimes?! Just how much money did he spend on a regular basis?

"Heh. I knew Heisuke was from some rich family." Souji snorted as he pushed my mouth shut for me. "Maybe even a son of some bigwig."

"Why do you say that?" Heisuke said defensively.

"Because only someone well-off would speak that way." Souji explained. "To begin with, this Kaneshige isn't something an ordinary nobody could own. Surely it's expensive. But the point is. Money isn't enough to buy it. Not just money, a noble birth is also required."

"Nah." Heisuke denied quickly while waving his hands about as I eyed him with suspicion. "That's not how it is. I'm merely a ronin. I got this sword after going through a lot of things…but nothing worth noting."

"That's right, Souji." Saito-san defended Heisuke. "The Shinsengumi is composed of people from all kinds of upbringings. Many of us have pasts that we don't want to talk about. Don't pry."

"Yup, yup, yup." Heisuke energetically agreed with Saito-san.

"Hmmm~. Never mind then." Souji said almost mockingly as he let the subject drop. "More importantly, about Heisuke's new sword. It'll be great if we can find a Kaneshige."

Saito-san shook his head. "Kaneshige is a private swordsmith of Ise Tsu Clan. His swords won't be out in the market, unless someone from the Ise Tsu Clan takes it out…" Saito-san said before pausing. "Now that you mention it, the lord of the Ise Tsu Clan is 'Toudou'. Heisuke's family is Toudou. That's too much of a coincidence."

"Eh?" Heisuke said as he began to panic again.

"Coincidences happen. Right, Heisuke?" I said. If Heisuke didn't want to talk about this then we shouldn't force him to.

"Eh? Eh?" Heisuke continued to say in a panic before looking around quickly and grabbing the first sword that he saw on the stands. "Ah! How about this one? Looks sharp."

"Better drop it or you'll regret it." Souji said after taking a brief glimpse of the sword Heisuke was holding up.

"Yes." Saito-san agreed. "It's a blunt sword that's not worth your money."

"Geh. Okay." Heisuke sagged as he placed the sword back on its stand.

"By the way, what kind of sword do you prefer?" Souji asked so they could possibly narrow down the search criteria.

"Well, something like my previous one will do." Heisuke said offhandedly as he continued to quickly scan the different swords in the shop.

"A sword as sharp as Kaneshige." said Souji.

"No. A sword as famed as Kaneshige." Saito-san disagreed.

"Such as?" Heisuke asked.

"There aren't many swords on par with Kaneshige, right?" Souji said as he shifted the bundle of cloth he and I bought earlier before placing a hand under his chin.

"That's right." Saito-san agreed. "To be as sharp as Heisuke's Kaneshige, that must be…"

"Kotetsu." both Saito-san and Souji then said together at the same time.

"Kotetsu?" Heisuke asked. "I've heard its fame and liked it since. I'll take that then."

Uh-oh. Heisuke really stepped in it this time.

"Hey Heisuke, do you want the same sword which the Shinsengumi's Commander owns?" Souji asked seriously with narrowed eyes. "Commander Kondou is the ace of the Shinsengumi, while you, although an executive, is merely a captain. Yet you want the same sword?"

"How much do you think a Kotestu costs?" Saito-san said as he tore into Heisuke too. "And price isn't even the main problem. It's not sold on the market."

"That's why naïve boys from well-to-do families are troublesome." Souji added with a tsk while Saito-san nodded in agreement.

"You don't have to be so mean." Heisuke complained loudly. "If that's the case, don't bring up Kotetsu in the first place. Aren't you supposed to suggest a sword for ME?"

"You're far from using a Kotetsu. Kotetsu is good. Truly a great sword. It suits Kondou-san well." Souji said as he ignored Heisuke to praise Otou-san's sword instead.

"Indeed Kotetsu is great. But speaking of excellent swords, Hijikata-san's eleventh generation Kanesada is also impressive." Saito-san responded to Souji while also ignoring Heisuke.

"Hello? Wait…" Heisuke said in confusion as he tried to regain Souji's and Saito-san's attention.

"Even so, Kondou-san's Kotetsu is the best." Souji declared.

"No. Taking every aspect into consideration, Hijikata-san's Kanesada is the best." Saito-san disagreed with Souji. I rubbed my forehead. This was going to take a while to resolve.

"Hey!" Heisuke raised his voice. "What about my sword?"

"Quit nagging." Souji shot Heisuke a brief annoyed look. "Shut up for a moment will ya?

"You can't tell the difference anyway." Saito-san agreed with Souji. "Close your eyes and grab one you like."

"Meanies!" Heisuke objected at the insult.

"Well, this situation is kind of your fault." I whispered into Heisuke's ear.

"Ha?" Heisuke responded to my statement with disbelief as he continued to stare at the two arguing men.

"Kotetsu is the best."

"No, Kanesada is."

"Kotetsu."

"Kanesada."

"Tsk!" Souji said in great annoyance.

"Hey! Both of you!" Heisuke raised his voice again to try to get their attention once more, but failed yet again.

"Hajime-kun, I think sooner or later we need to settle our differences." Souji said as sparks began to fly between his and Saito-san's eyes.

"What a coincidence. I was thinking the same." Saito-san agreed.

"Then, outside?" Souji suggested as he turned his head towards the door.

"To be overly gifted is unfortunate. To be unaware of this is even more unfortunate. I'll give you a lesson on this, Souji." Saito-san answered before exiting the shop with Souji following behind him.

"What the… You two! What about my sword? Aren't you choosing one for me? What am I gonna do without a new sword?" Heisuke called after them. "Damn! That's why I hate sword maniacs!"

"Tough luck." I said to Heisuke before I went outside to find Souji. My ankles were swollen right now and I wanted to head back to headquarters so I could sit down and rest.

"Gah! Don't leave me too, Shizuka!" Heisuke whined after me. "I need help choosing a sword!"

"You're asking the wrong person!" I called back.

* * *

[1] Tomesode (留袖) is a type of kimono. It is an expensive formal dress worn by married women. Originally, there was a custom that the long sleeves of the furisode were shortened after marriage, thereby creating a tomesode. This was because the long swinging sleeves would be impractical when the married woman worked in the kitchen. The word "tomesode" itself consists of two kanji meaning "to fasten" (留) and "sleeve" (袖）. The tomesode distinguishes itself from other kimono by only having patterns under the waistline. It has five or sometimes three family crests, or kamon, which indicates the formality of the kimono.


	60. Chapter 60

**Chapter 60**

"Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have." ― Winston S. Churchill

"So, pretty healthy, right Okita-sensei?" asked Hamasaki, a man from the first division, asked me as I checked over him behind a privacy screen.

"Well, for the most part." I said as I recorded everything in the man's newly created medical file.

"'For the most part?'" Hamasaki asked with puzzlement. "What do you mean by that?"

"Everything looks fine, except I don't like the look of that rash." I said as I pointed to the red patchy flesh on his lower abdomen. The rash looked rather big and extended below his hakama. "If I would have to guess without examining your genitals… It's second stage syphilis."

"What? No, no, no. It can't be syphilis. Syphilis has no cure." he denied with a smile while waving his hands defensively in front of him.

"Well, we won't know for sure if it is syphilis until Yamazaki-san takes a look at you, so why don't you head over to his station now?" I said as I gestured to another area in the room that was block by shogi screens.

"Alright…" Hamasaki said hesitantly as he looked over to Yamazaki-san's station with apprehension before slowly heading over there.

"Hamasaki-san?" I called him before he left my station completely and offered him a comforting smile. "Don't worry so much. Even if it is syphilis, I can treat it rather easily. Syphilis does have a cure."

He nodded slowly before he entered Yamazaki-san's station with a little more ease than before.

"Chizuru-chan! Can you send me the next person?" I called. She was in charge of taking the vital signs of the men before they were sent to me.

"Okay!" Chizuru-chan called back.

"So it's my turn?" Souji said wryly as he stepped into my area. He stopped in front of where I was standing so he could kiss me and hold my belly with his hands.

"Interesting." I said playfully after I returned his kiss. "Most men approach with apprehension, but not you."

"That's because it brings them so much closer to Yamazaki-kun's station and I know I won't have to go there." he said with a teasing grin. "I heard the prostate exam is not fun."

"It's true you won't need go to Yamazaki-san station to get your equipment checked, but you still need a prostate exam." I said with my hands on my hips.

Souji sighed with defeat and sagged his posture by placing his forehead on my right shoulder. "At least you'll be the one doing it for me…" he mumbled.

"Then shall we get this physical exam finished?" I asked while rubbing his upper arm reassuringly.

"Yeah." Souji said before he straightened up and gave me a small smile.

"Okay then, can you take off your hakamashita?" I asked while turning around to grab my stethoscope before turning back towards him.

"So you're asking me to strip?" Souji said teasingly as he made slow and deliberate movements to push off his hakamashita and let it bunch over his hakama before he went to sit on the raised examination table.

"You tease." I said playfully as I placed the stethoscope on his chest while getting delightful view. "Okay, I need you to sit up straight and take deep breaths when I tell you to."

"Alright." Souji complied.

"Breathe in." I said as I listen to his right lung. "Breathe out." I then moved the stethoscope to his left lung. "Breathe in. Breathe out."

"So, what is the health status of all the men you attended to before?" Souji asked as I place the stethoscope on the right side of his back, just below his shoulder blade.

"Your division looks mostly fine since I have seen most of them before. Breathe in. Breathe out." I said before moving my stethoscope again. "Breathe in. Breathe out. But there was a case of syphilis. As for the other men in the other divisions, there are some cases of sexually transmitted illnesses, malnutrition, hygiene problems, but I would say the malnutrition is the biggest problem. I'm worried about the anemia I'm seeing in some of the men. It's time to introduce meat into their regular diet."

"Meat?" Souji asked as he watched me put down my stethoscope to write in his medical record. "I don't personally mind since you have prepared some meat dishes long ago at Shieikan, but the others…"

Eating meat in the Tokugawa era Japan was pretty uncommon. While there have been some people eating meat in Japan long before the foreigners arrived, there weren't that many people that ate meat on a regular basis. People did eat duck and fish, but did not consider those animals to be meat. Japan was a small island compared to the other foreign countries, so there was not much room that could be used to raise large livestock, like cattle and pigs, but some domains still did manage to raise livestock. However, most of the civilians still considered eating meat to be foreign and unclean.

"Still think of it as unclean and they'll think they'll get sick if they eat it." I finished for Souji.

"Yeah."

"I'll run this idea by Hijikata-san and Otou-san, see if they can find a way to get the men to willingly consume meat."

"Or Sannan-san." suggested Souji. "He still eats meat occasionally so he might be able to convince the other men more easily."

"That too." I said as I reached for the reflex hammer. "Okay, now I'm going to test your reflexes."

I tapped both of his knees with the little hammer. Both knees kicked up instantly. His reflexes were still sharper than ever.

"Nothing wrong so far?" asked Souji as he watched me place the reflex hammer on the table to record my findings.

"So far, no." I answer as I finish writing before I went to put on gloves. Quickly retrieving the equipment for the blood test, I returned back to where Souji was sitting. "Hold out your left arm for me?"

"Blood test?" Souji asked as he eyed the needle.

I nodded as I tied a rubber strip around his upper arm. Bringing my focus back down to the inner bend of his elbow, I quickly found a vein to extract the blood from and swabbed the area with alcohol. "I don't have to tell you this will sting a bit, right?"

"I hope not." Souji said in amusement with a raised brow. "It is a needle going into my skin, so I would assume it would sting a little."

"Alright then, in goes the needle."

"Did some people expect it not to sting a bit?" he asked as he watched his blood enter a small glass vile from the tube that was attached to it.

I snorted. "You'd be amazed about what people believe."

Just as soon as I finished speaking, a well-timed yelp came from Yamazaki-san's station. Souji raise his eyebrow while looking at me.

"I've been hearing that all morning." I said nonchalantly as I removed the needle and quickly bandaged up the site of the blood test. "That's Yamazaki-san performing the prostate exam on the guys. If the men could just relax before the prostate exam then it wouldn't be so uncomfortable."

"You do realize your asking men to relax before another man sticks his fingers up their asses, right?"

"Hey, some of them like it." I stated as I labeled Souji's vile of blood.

"Right…" Souji said. "Well some of them do like shudo[1]. Poor Yamazaki-kun, being a tool to their weird fantasies."

"You aren't really feeling bad for him. I can see you enjoying yourself." I snorted again as I swabbed his other arm with alcohol to prep for the TB skin test.

Souji grinned at my words and wiggled his eyebrows at me without denying my accusation. I shook my head at him with a small smile in response. I was sure none of the men were seeing the prostate exam as sexual, but more of an exam of extreme discomfort. Souji just had a way of wording things.

"Alright, moving on to the tuberculosis skin test. Okay, this test will reveal if your body has been exposed to the bacteria that causes tuberculosis. If a bump appears or the injection site becomes hard after two days then that means you have. Then we'll need to figure out if it's latent or a full infection." I said before injecting the shot into the right inner arm near the elbow. "We'll check the injection site within two days for the results."

"Almost done now?"

"Almost. Now I need you to drop your hakama."

"Oh?" Souji said while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at me.

"You know why." I said flatly. "The prostate exam? Besides, didn't you say that we shouldn't be intimate with each other until the baby is born? Something about being afraid of harming the baby?"

Of course, sex now wouldn't harm the baby, but everyone in this era believed it would. I just thought it would be easier to go with the flow rather than to argue my point. Cultural barriers don't disappear that easily.

Souji sighed with disappointment before he pushed himself off the raised examination table and untied his hakama. He let them drop to the floor before stepping away from it. He then removed his loincloth. I quickly lubricated my gloved hands.

"Turn around to put your arms on the table and bend over."

"Never thought you would tell me to bend over. It's usually the other way around." Souji said teasingly as he shot me a suggestive wink after he recovered from his disappointment.

"Right." I said with amusement. "Well, you're about to feel my fingers, so relax your muscles and don't clench." And then my finger went in.

"Umph… I can see why all the guys were complaining. This is really uncomfortable." Souji said with a grimace.

"You're doing just fine. Almost done." I said as I prodded around a little longer before pulling my finger out. His prostate felt just fine. After I pulled my finger out, Souji stood up straight and watched me pull off my gloves and drop them into the disposal.

"Done now?" Souji asked as he reached for his loincloth.

"Yup." I answered before I helped Souji get dressed again. "On your way out, can you send Heisuke and Inoue-san's divisions in?"

"Sure. Last divisions before a lunch break?"

"Yeah."

"Alright then. I'll come back and check on you during lunch."

"Okay." I said.

Souji kissed me once more before he left the medical wing to bring in Heisuke, Inoue-san, and their divisions.

* * *

"Y-Yamazaki, w-what are you doing?!" I heard Heisuke scream from behind the room dividers at Yamazaki-san's station. Heisuke was the last person we had to process before lunch break. "K-Keep those fingers away."

"Toudou-san, please stay still! I need to complete this part of the exam!" I heard Yamazaki-san say before I heard a scuffle behind the dividers.

"Um…" Chizuru-chan said from besides me. "Will everything be alright?"

"Well, maybe?" I answered as another thump came from behind the dividers. "Yamazaki-san did have to deal with a large number of uncooperative patients today. He's probably really stressed."

"Kinky." I heard Souji say. Chizuru-chan and I looked up and saw Souji standing in the doorway of the medical wing with a tray of sliced watermelon. "It sounds like you're having wild rabbit sex back there." Souji called to the two men behind the dividers.

"SOUJI! NOT HELPING! GYAH!" Heisuke screamed.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE!" yelled Yamazaki-san before I heard another loud thump.

"NO! YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!" Heisuke yelled again before he bolted out the side door butt-naked with his clothes in his hands, causing Chizuru-chan to blush and look the other way.

"H-HEY!" yelled Yamazaki-san as he bolted after Heisuke. "GET BACK HERE!"

Souji burst out laughing before he strolled over to where Chizuru-chan and I were resting. He placed the tray of watermelon in front of Chizuru-chan and me before sitting down next to me. I eyed the watermelon in delight. It was a hot day and I was craving something sweet.

"A treat for our hard workers." Souji winked at Chizuru-chan and me.

Chizuru-chan gasped in delight when she saw the watermelon. "Thank you very much!" she said, forgetting about the scene from before as picked up a slice before biting into it.

"Where did you get the watermelon?" I asked as I picked up a slice for myself. I took a bite before offering Souji a bite from my slice.

"Kenji-kun dropped by a few hours earlier." Souji said before he took a bite from my slice and swallowed. "He gave us a giant wooden crate of watermelons and said that his house had been taken over by watermelons and needed somewhere to dump some of them."

"Wait. Taken over by watermelons? What did he mean by that?"

"I dunno." Souji shrugged. "I didn't ask."

Maybe we were better off not knowing…?

"Oh! When you're done eating, can you head over to the kitchen, Chizuru-chan?" I asked. "It was Heisuke's turn to help prepare lunch, but as you just saw, that's probably not going to happen."

"O-Okay." Chizuru-chan stammered while turning bright red. Her mind probably just drifted back to what she had seen before when I mentioned Heisuke's name. Quickly stuffing the rest of the watermelon slice into her mouth, Chizuru-chan placed the rind back on the far end of the tray before standing and bowing to me and Souji. She rushed out the door and towards the kitchen afterwards with her mouth still full from the watermelon.

"That was pretty fast." Souji remarked wryly. "She looked like a hamster."

"She doesn't want to be here when Yamazaki-san drags butt-naked Heisuke back." I explained. "You saw how red she turned when Heisuke ran out?"

"Yeah. Too bad she looked away instead of staring. I could have gotten lots of ammo for teasing her later." Souji snickered before he polished off the watermelon slice in my hand before took the rind out of my hand and placed it next to Chizuru-chan's rind. Souji then stood up to go retrieve the bowl of water on my desk so I could wash the sticky juice off my hands.

"Thank you." I said when he placed the bowl in front of me. I quickly rinsed my hands before leaning back against Souji's chest.

"Bring him this way." Yamazaki-san said in the background as he marched back stiffly into the medical wing and to his station. Sano-san was behind him with a naked Heisuke thrown over his shoulder. Heisuke had been knocked unconscious.

"Well that's one way to take care of that." Souji snorted.

"I guess…?" I said as my eyes followed the men until they disappeared behind the divider. Poor Heisuke. I bet he was conked on the head and that wasn't going to help his head injury from Ikedaya in any way.

"So, how are you feeling right now?" Souji asked as he put his hands on my belly just in time to feel the baby wiggle a bit. "Not too tired, I hope?"

"No, but my feet are sore from standing so long." I said as I put my hands over his. "They're still swollen."

"One of the fun side effects of pregnancy, huh?" Souji said dryly as he lightly pressed on the right side of my belly. The baby responded by pushing Souji's hand back causing Souji to smile. He then pressed the left side of my belly and then laughed when the baby pushed back on the wrong side.

"Wrong way, sweetie." I giggled as I poked the baby's foot in my right side. The baby retracted its foot before pushing Souji's hand back on the left side. "There you go." I whispered maternally.

Souji and I then heard a loud sigh, causing the both of us to look up. Yamazaki-san was tiredly emerging from behind the dividers with Sano-san behind him. They must have left Heisuke unconscious on one of the sick beds. When Sano-san saw us looking at him and Yamazaki-san, he gave us a sheepish smile.

"Done for now?" I asked Yamazaki-san empathetically. "It is our lunch break."

Yamazaki-san tiredly ran his hand down his face before answering, "I need a long lunch break."

Souji snickered in response to Yamazaki-san's action. "Are you sure you want to touch your face like that? You did just spend the past few hours probing several men's assholes."

"I WAS WEARING GLOVES! Plus, I just washed my hands!" Yamazaki-san bristled at Souji's comment. The past few hours was just really stressful for him and I really didn't appreciate Souji's comment toward my assistant.

When Souji saw my scolding glance directed at him he shrunk and backed off of Yamazaki-san. He didn't want to deal with my disapproval, especially now while I was pregnant. My mood swings were pretty nasty most of the time.

"Well, someone had to take care of that part of the physical exam." Sano-san said while exhaling with a smile as he tried to diffuse the tension between Souji and Yamazaki-san. "And it's better to have a man take care of that part of exam rather than Shizuka, right?"

"I guess so." Souji remarked as he stopped teasing Yamazaki-san.

"Yamazaki-san." I said gently to get his attention. "Why don't you go take a break and come back in two hours? You look like you could use a nap."

"I will. Thank you, Sensei." Yamazaki-san immediately accepted without putting up an argument like he normally would have. He must have been at his limit. Dealing with difficult patient for hours would be grinding enough for anyone. Yamazaki-san bowed politely at me before he excused himself.

"Well then, I'm off to the kitchen to help with lunch. With Heisuke indisposed of, Shinpachi will be short a kitchen partner." Sano-san referred to Heisuke before asking me, "Anything you want to eat?"

"Kabocha!" I blurted out before I could stop myself. I blushed faintly when I realized the amount of force I used.

Souji chuckled at me while Sano-san grinned widely at me. "Cravings?" asked Sano-san.

"Maybe…?" I whispered in embarrassment while playing with my fingers.

"Alright." Sano-san said kindly before he excused himself.

"Wait, Sano-san?" I called to him just as he got to the door. Sano paused and looked back at me questioningly. "Can you get Hijikata-san and Otou-san for me? They was supposed to come in for their physical exam during the morning, but was unable to because they got called away for some business. Since I have some time before it's time to eat, I can do their exam now."

"Sure." Sano-san said before he left.

"Hijikata-san and Kondou-san still haven't done their exam yet?" Souji asked with a conflicted expression. "Are you going to do their whole exams by yourself? You already sent Yamazaki-kun away."

"It can't be helped." I sighed. "Yamazaki-san's too wound up and I have time now."

Souji gave an irritated tsk. "I get you giving Kondou-san the full physical exam since he is your otou-san, but do you have to do Hijikata-san too? I don't know whether to laugh at his discomfort or to punch him out for revealing himself to you."

"Don't worry." I smiled reassuringly toward Souji before I stood up and turned around to face him. "The feeling of discomfort is mutual. Besides, despite being a rather attractive looking man, Hijikata-san can't even be compared to you." I said before pecking Souji on the lips. "To me, you're the most handsome man in the world."

With my last comment, Souji proudly puffed himself up like a narcissistic peacock. He grinned at me smugly before saying mischievously, "Well, then why don't I stay here while you're giving Hijikata-san his physical exam. If he's going to be uncomfortable during the exam, I might as well stay here and add fuel to the fire."

"Okay then." I giggled at him when he impishly wiggled his eyebrows at me.

It didn't take long for Otou-san and Hijikata-san to appear. While Hijikata-san entered the medical wing hesitantly, Otou-san bounced in with a wide fearless grin. Otou-san immediately approached me the moment he saw me and pat my head before putting his hand on my belly.

"And how's my grandchild today?" Otou-san asked with childish excitement. "He's not making his haha too tired to work, is he?"

"I'm fine." I said with a laugh. Otou-san's cheerfulness has always been contagious. "The baby is just really active today."

"Well, that's good." Otou-san said as his grin became impossibly wider when he felt the baby move.

A purposeful cough interrupted the cheerful moment and drew everyone's attention. Hijikata-san stood awkwardly in the room as he cleared his throat. "Will you be doing the whole exam for us by yourself?" Hijikata-san asked with extreme discomfort. "I noticed that Yamazaki and Chizuru aren't here…"

"Chizuru-chan went to go help in the kitchen since Heisuke is…currently unable to perform his duties. Yamazaki-kun went to go take a nap because the exams were getting too intense for him." Souji answered gleefully with a wry grin when he saw Hijikata-san's obvious discomfort. "So it's just Shizuka with me helping."

"Ah, don't worry so much Toshi." Otou-san said while being total relaxed. "Shizu-chan a professional and will conduct herself properly."

Hijikata-san sighed in defeat before shooting Souji a quick glare. He was probably thinking this was somehow all Souji's idea and I couldn't blame him. Souji was wearing an extremely smug grin that he was directing at Hijikata-san.

"Okay, why don't I take care of you first, Otou-san?" I said as I directed Otou-san towards the station behind the room divider. "You don't look uncomfortable at all."

"I admit, I am a little." Otou-san said while rubbing the back of his neck as he stepped behind the divider. "But I know I'll have nothing to worry about if you're the one taking care of this."

Otou-san's physical exam was the smoothest one I did next to Souji's. There was that uncomfortable part of the examination of his genitals, but once again, as a married woman and a doctor, it was nothing I hadn't seen before. The exam was finished quickly and Otou-san swiftly dressed again before he stepped back into the main waiting area.

"Hahaha! Still as healthy as a horse, right?" Otou-san asked boisterously.

"In perfect health." I said with a smile. "And now it's Hijikata-san's turn."

Hijikata-san grew stiff as soon as I mentioned him and as he stiffly began marching to the station behind the room dividers, Chizuru-chan reentered the room.

"Hmm? I thought you were helping in the kitchen, Chizuru-chan." Souji asked with a calculating grin.

"I was, but Harada-san told me that I shouldn't be cooking because I need to take a break after spending all morning helping with the physical exams." Chizuru-chan said innocently. "I didn't know what to do afterwards, so I came back to see if Shizuka-chan needed any help."

Souji's grin became wider before he gave Hijikata-san an incriminating look. "You can help Shizuka-chan with Hijikata-san's exam." Souji said all too gleefully. "In fact, I'm sure you can do Hijikata-san's exam all by yourself with Shizuka's and mine supervision."

"Eh?!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed meekly. "But I've never done a whole exam by myself. I don't know if I can."

"Sure you can." Souji encouraged her much to the disbelief of Hijikata-san, who looked like he was about to have an aneurism. "You know what to do and need experience now. A bird has to leave the nest at one point."

"SOUJI—!" Hijikata-san managed to yell before I interrupted him. Souji might have been doing this to embarrass Hijikata-san, but he did have a valid point. Chizuru-chan needed experience.

"Actually, that's a good idea." I said logically. "With the Shinsengumi expanding, we do need more fully trained doctors."

"Hmm, that's true." Otou-san said with an understanding nod as he disregarded Hijikata-san's look of disbelief. "Ah, don't worry so much Toshi. You'll be fine. They only have the best intentions."

"This way, Chizuru-chan." I chirped as I pushed Hijikata-san behind the room divider. Chizuru-chan quickly followed behind me with Souji bouncing cheerfully as he followed Chizuru-chan. When Hijikata-san was fully behind the divider, I stepped to the side and gave Chizuru-chan full reign.

"He's all yours, Chizuru-chan." Souji sang.

Hijikata-san sent Souji a glare that promised retribution before he disrobed.

"Oh, look." Souji whispered into my ear during the physical exam. "She turned red. I wonder what she's thinking about. Dirty thoughts, maybe?"

"Maybe." I whispered back as I suppressed a giggle.

The exam went fairly smoothly, but it got to the point where Hijikata-san had to take off his hakama… I had to finish the exams from there. Chizuru-chan started shaking before she turned into a nicely colored tomato. She shortly fainted after that. I had Souji place her on an extra sick bed before finishing the rest of the exam myself. After witnessing the most embarrassing part of the exam for Hijikata-san, Souji bolted. Hijikata-san gave chase while yelling profanities at him after he dressed again. At lunch we were missing quite a few people. Heisuke and Chizuru-chan were both still unconscious in the medical wing, and Hijikata-san and Souji just never showed up for lunch, but instead graced us with background music that consisted of curse words that could be heard throughout the headquarters.

* * *

"Souji, it's time to take your medication." I said to Souji at the well as he wiped the sweat on his bare chest away. He had just finished a training session with his men.

"Okay." Souji said as he wiped himself down with a wet towel.

With the conclusion of the physical exam a week and a half ago, all the results were in. There were three cases of latent TB, including Souji; eleven cases of untreated syphilis; three cases of chlamydia; several men with malnutrition; two cases of high blood pressure; and several other cocktails of health problems.

Otou-san and Hijikata-san quickly gave me permission to deal with the problems accordingly when the results were in. To prevent sickness from spreading, I gave an order stating that anyone who had a contagious illness must be quarantined in the medical wing until they recovered. Next I mobilized the entire corps to clean the headquarters to get rid of the dirt and other agents that cause illness.

The men who had latent TB were given medication to be taken under strict surveillance. Souji and another man with latent TB were prescribed isoniazid pills that had a dosage of 180 mg that had to be taken daily for the next six months. The last man with latent TB didn't react well to the isoniazid pills, so he was put on Rifampin pills with a dosage of 120 mg that had to be taken daily for the next four months.

For the men who had syphilis, nine of the cases were in the early stages and they had been infected for less than a year. Those men were easy to treat. A quick single injection of penicillin was enough to stop the disease from progressing. The other two cases, however, were in the secondary stage of syphilis. Those men had to have several injections of penicillin over the course of weeks and during that time they were forbidden from coming into sexual contact with others. They were going to have to avoid sexual contact until they completed another blood test to indicate that the infection had been cured. I also asked the men who were infected with syphilis to tell their sexual partners to come in to get tested and that it would be free of charge. It was better to stop the STI from spreading to others to avoid having a large amount of infected people.

The three men with chlamydia were possibly the easiest to treat out of all the cases. All they had to do was take 100 mg of doxycycline orally twice a day for seven days.

For the men with high blood pressure, they were prescribed a diet with low amounts of sodium. And to deal with the men with malnutrition, I had Sannan-san introduce pork into all the men's diet. I then did a workshop on how to cook meat properly so that people wouldn't get sick from improperly cooked meat. That was highly successful because the men all liked the taste of pork, especially the belly portion that was high in fat content. Because of that I had to remind the men to eat their vegetables and train daily to keep their health in a good balance.

Because the physical exam was so successful this time and so many health problems were caught before they progressed any further, Hijikata-san gave me permission to make the physical exams annual. There would be a physical exam every year in June.

"You know, I like the medication you prepare a lot better than all the other medication I have eaten in the past." Souji said after he swallowed the pill I handed him. "It's fast and easy to take and it doesn't taste bitter like the other powdered medicines. All medication should be made like this"

"You think so?" I asked. I did know a fair amount of people in my past life that abhorred pills. Maybe Souji thought it was better just because it wasn't bitter. He hated bitter things.

"Yeah." Souji said. "It's better than washing a bitter powder down your throat with water."

"Well, if you say so." I answered before I grabbed a dry towel off to the side and began to dry Souji off.

"Aww, isn't this a cute domestic scene!" someone suddenly squealed behind me.

I turned around to see Kyoko-chan standing there with a…large wooden crate of watermelons. I looked around to see if Kenji-san or anyone else came with Kyoko-chan, but there was no one. How did she get here without making a sound while carrying a crate of watermelons that was obviously heavier than the amount she weighed? I looked back at Souji to see him raising an eyebrow at her. He was probably thinking the same question.

"How are you doing that?" I asked perplexedly.

"Doing what?" Kyoko-chan asked, pretending to be innocent.

"Nevermind." Souji said. "But seriously, where are all the watermelons coming from? Kenji-kun keeps dropping off crates of watermelon here while saying, 'watermelons have taken over the house.' What's going on?"

"Oh, that?" Kyoko-chan chirped. "We won a bet with Kenji's grandfather with the reward being all the watermelons that Kenji's grandfather's fields produced this summer. But I somehow get a feeling that the watermelons are his way of getting revenge on us. We're being overrun by watermelons and we need to get rid of them somehow."

"So you're giving them to us?" I asked.

"You do have a lot of soldiers at headquarters. They do like watermelon, right? No one SANE hates watermelon." answered Kyoko-chan.

"Right…" I answered as I stared at the fruit behind her. "Well, at least the men will be happy. Watermelon is an expensive commodity."

"Oh, right. Before I forget, here." Kyoko-chan said as she passed me an unopened letter she pulled from her kimono sleeve. "Some information Kenji gathered that pertains to the Shinsengumi. Pass it to Hijikata and your otou-san."

Information? Souji and I exchanged a glance before we thanked Kyoko-chan before she waved us goodbye and vanished in an instant. After dropping off the fruit in the soldiers' quarters, we went to deliver the letter.

* * *

[1] Records of men who have sex with men in Japan date back to ancient times. Western scholars have identified these as evidence of homosexuality in Japan. There were few laws restricting sexual behavior in Japan in the beginning of modern period. Anal sodomy was restricted by legal prohibition in 1872, but the provision was repealed only seven years later by the Penal Code of 1880 in accordance with the Napoleonic Code. Historical practices identified by scholars as homosexual include shudō (衆道), wakashudō (若衆道) and nanshoku (男色). Modern terms for homosexuals include dōseiaisha (同性愛者, literally same-sex-love person), gei (ゲイ, gay), homo (ホモ), homosekusharu (ホモセクシャル, homosexual), rezu (レズ, les), and rezubian (レズビアン, lesbian).


	61. Chapter 61

**Chapter 61**

"Knowing is not simply a material act, since the object that is known always conceals something beyond the empirical datum. All our knowledge, even the most simple, is always a minor miracle, since it can never be fully explained by the material instruments that we apply to it. In every truth there is something more than we would have expected, in the love that we receive there is always an element that surprises us." ― Pope Benedict XVI, _Charity in Truth: Caritas in Veritate_

After Kyoko-chan delivered the sealed letter from Kenji-san and vanished, Souji and I made a beeline for the main hall were the leaders were holding their daily morning meeting that usually took place after breakfast. If the information was important enough for Kenji-san to give to Kyoko-chan so that she could personally come and drop it off, then it needed to go to the Shinsengumi leaders right away. When we arrived at the entrance of the main hall, we both paused outside while Souji politely announced our arrival through the closed doors.

"Kondou-san?" Souji called through the closed doors respectfully.

"Hmm?" was Otou-san's immediate response. "Souji? What is it?"

"Kyoko-chan just dropped by with another crate of watermelons and a sealed letter from Kenji-kun." Souji answered. "She claims that it's important information that pertains to the Shinsengumi."

"More watermelons?" Otou-san exclaimed, getting completely caught up with the wrong details. "How is it possible that they have more watermelons?"

"Information?" Hijikata-san spoke up. "Come in."

At obtaining permission to enter the room, Souji slid the door open before he put his right hand on the small of my back to gently guide me in. He paused after he entered the room behind me to shut the door behind him before he led me to my seat.

"Here." Souji said as he pulled the sealed letter from his left sleeve to pass to Otou-san. Otou-san nodded in thanks before he opened the seal on the letter so he could read its contents. While Otou-san was reading the letter, Hijikata-san shifted his focus on me and Souji as he scrutinized us, as if he were looking for something wrong.

"What?" Souji said with a hint of annoyance as he stared back at Hijikata-san.

"Did you take your medication today yet?" asked Hijikata-san, completely unaffected by Souji's annoyed stare.

"I don't need you to mother me." Souji responded stubbornly.

"Yes, he did." I answered after Souji spoke while offering Hijikata-san a small smile as a small peace offering in Souji's stead. There was no need to start another silly argument right now. "You don't need to worry about Souji taking his medication daily. I personally make sure that he takes his medication daily."

"I see." Hijikata-san sighed with a hint of relief before he shifted his focus onto me. "How about you? No chores, right? Have you been resting and staying off your feet for long periods of time?"

The state of pregnancy for a woman was seen as a time when the woman's body and psyche was very delicate, vulnerable, and prone to malfunction. Because of this, pregnant women should therefore be strictly protected from serious emotional disturbances and strenuous physical movements. The popular idea of fetal education, or taikyō, emphasized how important it was for women to discipline themselves and cultivate their virtue in order to protect the well-being of the unborn child. Because of my medical education from the future and my stubbornness regarding the issue, I didn't exactly follow the idea of fetal education. Due to my stubbornness I had gotten away with not following the taikyō for the first several weeks of my pregnancy, but now that I was in my twenty-sixth week of pregnancy, Souji was putting his foot down. It was easy to see how much the baby had grown with in me by the twenty-fifth week and Souji, who was starting to believe everything was too good to be true, decided the baby would be born in good health and safely if I started following the taikyō. To make sure I was following the taikyō, Souji requested the others to keep an eye on me. I wasn't even allowed to do the simplest of chores anymore, unless I absolutely had to. Everyone, including all the foot soldiers and even Chizuru-chan, also started to keep news from me if they thought it was going to disturb me emotionally. For me, a person who was constantly involved with everything that the Shinsengumi did, I felt like I was slowly being suffocated by this type of treatment.[1]

As stated by the taikyō, the pregnant body was considered to be fragile due to the disruptive movements of fetal ki, which was a type of life force energy that was believed to emerge with the unborn child and nurture the unborn child during the period of gestation. Irregular movements of fetal ki could also produce "heat" to make the body ill. This was the main explanation in the Tokugawa era for what caused morning sickness. In the second or third month of pregnancy, when the fetal ki stagnated in and around the throat and chest, it would interfere with the function of Chûshō, the digestive organ, and make the woman nauseated. When the fetal ki became "settled" in and around the uterus or "below the navel" during the fifth or sixth month of pregnancy, the digestive system usually operated well and the woman would no longer suffer from morning sickness.[2]

Fetal ki was not the only active element during pregnancy. The process of gestation involved the functioning of major visceral organs, which maintained the adequate circulation and preservation of ki. In order for such organs to function well, the pregnant woman should not become emotionally agitated or mistreat the body. It was believed that if a woman failed to do this then there would be complications during childbirth.[3]

Another type of ki that affected the unborn child's growth besides fetal ki was cardinal ki because of the belief that the anomalous movements of fetal ki and cardinal ki would disturb the unborn child. Fetal ki was affected by a woman's physical movement. Cardinal ki that was formed as a result of the function of the Heart system and, on the other hand, tended to be stirred up by emotional agitation. The movements of both these ki affected each other. In order for these two types of ki to function in a regular pattern, the expectant mother was supposed to discipline her movements. For example, in the Retsujoden it was stated that in ancient times when women became pregnant, they slept on their side, sat up straight, and did not get up abruptly. There were the "proper manners" that a woman should follow. Prohibited activities included taking too much medicine, excessive drinking, inappropriate moxibustion and acupuncture, urinating in inappropriate places, carrying heavy things, stretching oneself to grab an item out of reach, and walking up a steep path. Failure to follow these recommendations disturbed fetal ki, thus causing premature birth or a difficult delivery.[4]

While fetal ki was agitated mainly by the woman's mishandling of her body, cardinal ki was disturbed by strong emotional reactions. For instance, cardinal ki was affected by watching a fire, unexpectedly hearing sad news, or hearing loud shouting close at hand or noise from construction work in the neighborhood. The disturbance of cardinal ki would affect fetal ki, which could eventually cause illness. Abnormal functioning of Blood along with that of ki was also believed to cause problems in the woman's gestating body. In this case as well, the woman's emotions were often the source of such disorder. For example, if the expectant mother's desires were stirred up, ki and Blood would become "heated" and disturb fetal ki. This made it imperative for the expectant mother to suppress her desires and to observe sexual abstinence, much to my displeasure, especially because in the later stages of pregnancy it was actually normal for an expectant mother to develop an increased sexual appetite due to an excess of certain hormones.[5]

Another part of the taikyō was the belief that a woman's moral conduct during pregnancy directly affected the health and intelligence of the child. It was suggested that the mother's conduct in specific areas of activity influenced corresponding areas in the developing baby. Examples of this were common beliefs like: "In order to have a handsome and virtuous child, the expectant mother should only say righteous things and not engage in indecent gossip. She should discipline herself and not be self-indulgent or engaged in shameful conduct. If she wanted a beautiful child, the expectant mother should wear beautiful pearls and refrain from looking at ugly women, cripples, and other physically inferior people. Similarly, is she wanted an intelligent child, she should read books written by sages." The influences of a mother's actions on the unborn child was best summarized by the statement, "When outward forms are proper, it is felt by what is inside." I disagreed heavily with this statement based on the facts I did know to be true, but in the end I just mostly followed what Souji wanted because I knew he didn't mean any offense and was just concerned out of my and the baby's well-being. At least following the taikyō gave me a legitimate excuse to do nothing all day but lounge and read.[6]

Along with the things I was allowed to and not allowed to do, there were also food combinations I was not allowed to consume due to certain unfounded, in my own opinion, beliefs. Eating chicken with glutinous rice while pregnant risked a tapeworm or other parasites developing in the newborn. Drinking rice wine with sparrow encouraged a child once born and growing in years to fall into lascivious ways with no sense of shame. Sparrow meat also eaten with miso paste might cause discoloration or mottle appearance to a large area of the face, physically and perhaps socially scarring the child for life. Bean paste could also trigger a miscarriage when a woman eats it with young leaves of bean plans. Combining chicken eggs with fish such as carp, sweetfish, or any dried variety can cause a baby to suffer from boils, eczema, or other types of eruptions and rashes of the skin. Duck eggs with mulberry nuts would put a mother and her child in danger of having to endure a breech birth. There wasn't any real proof that eating certain combinations of certain foods would cause the problems that the taikyō claimed it would. These beliefs were all based on symbolism. Like for instance, people believed eating crab would cause a lateral birth because when it crab walked, it walked sideways.[7]

"She's fine." Souji answered in my stead as he rubbed my side. "I've been watching her to make sure she doesn't overstress herself."

"So what does the letter say?" Sannan-san asked Otou-san, bringing all our attention back onto the letter.

Otou-san passed the letter to Hijikata-san before answering, "The Choshu are getting ready to retaliate for Ikedaya."

"Retaliate?" asked Sannan-san before he looked over Hijikata-san's shoulder to read the letter.

"As of June 16th, the Choshu has more than 2,000 men gathered in Saga, Fushimi, Yamazaki, and Yawata ready for battle[8]. Fuma-kun predicts that when the Choshu are ready, they will all most likely congregate in Osaka before marching to the Imperial Palace Kyoto in retaliation." Otou-san answered.

June 16th? That was just a few days ago. Kenji-san certainly worked quickly.

"Aizu will undoubtedly call on the Shinsengumi for aid when the Choshu arrive in Kyoto, if Fuma's prediction comes true." said Hijikata-san. "We must be ready for action when they do. All our new recruits must be properly trained by the time we're called to action."

"Indeed." agreed Sannan-san. "First we must organize flux of new recruits we received from after Ikedaya into their assigned divisions then we need to increase the training sessions to get them up to speed with the other soldiers."

"Toshi, I want you to draw up a new schedule after lunch today and Sannan-kun, if you may, please deliver this news to the other captains." Otou-san said before turning to me. "Shizu-chan, you should go rest. Leave the rest of this to the men."

I frowned in disagreement, but followed Otou-san's instructions anyway. I could probably go use this time to go do more research on Sannan-san's nerve graft under the guise of "calmly reading" to "improve the unborn child's intelligence" so it could be born an intelligent individual.

* * *

A hand gently rubbing my back stirred me from a midmorning nap on July 19th. When I slowly opened my eyes, I saw Souji looking down at me from his seat in front of me. He smiled gently at me when he saw that I was awake.

"Sorry for waking you up, but something's happening and I figured you would want to know what's going on so you don't worry later when everyone is gone." he said as he helped me sit up on the futon.

"Hmm?" I managed to mumble a response to him before I wiped the sleep from my eyes. "Something's happening? When everyone is gone? What?"

"Let's go." Souji said after he pulled me to my feet. "There's a meeting taking place at the main hall right now."

After Souji manage to get me out of bed, he led me to the main hall. All the men were gathered in the room already with the leaders seated in the front. Souji led me to my seat next to Chizuru-chan before he went to go to his seat closer to the front of the room.

"What's going on?" I whispered in a low voice to Chizuru-chan as I suppressed a yawn.

At twenty-nine weeks, it was getting more difficult to sleep soundly during the night. Weird dreams as a result of the changes in hormone distribution and the frequent urge to go pee often woke me up during the night. I woke up so often during the night now that if I only woke up three times during a single night then I would consider that to be a good night's rest. Because of my frequent waking moments during the night now, I often needed to have naps during the day to get enough rest to function without the feeling of fatigue.

"I'm not too sure yet," Chizuru-chan whispered back, "but Hijikata-san had all the men mobilize. Something important is going to happen."

I nodded back at Chizuru-chan. Otou-san made his announcement when all the men inside the room settled down.

"We, the Shinsengumi, by the official orders of Military Commissioner of Kyoto, shall depart!" Otou-san said with great authority.

"Yeah!" the men all cheered, all full of enthusiasm at the prospect of carrying out the orders of Kyoto's Military Commissioner.

What appeared to have happened was that at the start of July the Choshu forces began gathering in Osaka. Fearing an all-out attack from the Choshu, the Emperor declared July 17th as the final day for all Choshu forces to retreat. Ignoring the declaration from the Emperor, on July 18th, at 8 p.m., the Choshu forces began their march to the Imperial Palace. Now in a scramble to be prepared for the eminent attack from the Choshu, all the military forces in Kyoto were being called to mobilize and stand ready for when the Choshu did arrive in Kyoto.[9]

When all the ready-bodied men mobilized, they lined up in formation and exited headquarters for their destination. Sannan-san, Heisuke, Souji, and I watched as the men left. All of us that remain behind all had conditions that prevented us from being effective on a battlefield. Sannan-san still couldn't use his arm because I hadn't performed the nerve graft yet. Heisuke and Souji were still deemed too injured to join the rest of the men on this mission, and I was pregnant. The battlefield was no place for a pregnant woman. Instead, Chizuru-chan went in my stead as the field medic.

Heisuke made a sound of complaint as we watched the men leave, "I wanted to go too." he said as he leaned against the open doors of the headquarters gate. "Standing by at headquarters is way too boring."

Souji gave a small laugh of amusement at Souji while Sannan-san smiled at Heisuke.

"You both can return to the battlefield once your injuries heal." Sannan-san said, referring to their injuries from Ikedaya. "I, on the other hand, must wait longer until Shizuka-chan can operate on my arm."

Heisuke looked away silently in slight embarrassment at his obliviousness to Sannan-san's feelings. He had forgotten about the severity of Sannan-san's injury. Sannan-san's injury didn't just require more time to heal, but it wouldn't even heal properly until I performed the nerve graft and even then, there was the chance that the nerve graft wouldn't take.

"Just be a bit more patient." I said comfortingly as I laid a hand on Sannan-san's upper arm. "I'm making progress on my research. You can be back on the battlefield after I fix your arm."

"Well, we'll just have to be obedient and rest." Souji spoke up in Heisuke's silence to defuse the awkward tension that had formed before he elbowed Heisuke's side painfully. Souji then took my hand and began leading back inside.

"Ouch!" cried Heisuke when Souji's elbow connected with his side. He quickly turned around and ran after Souji and me while complaining, "What're you doing, Souji?!"

Souji merely laughed at Heisuke's complaint as we headed back inside, leaving Sannan-san alone at the gate.

"Stop laughing at me!" Heisuke continued to complain as he caught up to us before mumbling under his breath, "It's not funny. I really don't understand your weird sense of humor."

"Not many people do." I answered Heisuke before asking worriedly, "Do you think there'll be any fighting this time?"

"I don't know." Souji said as he returned to being serious. "But I doubt it'll be like last summer where the Choshu just retreated without a fight. Look, there's no point in worrying about it when you can't do anything about it, so put it out of your mind."

"Souji's right." Heisuke said to back Souji up. "It's not healthy for you to be worrying about things right now. You should go relax and go continue your nap from before."

Well, I was still tired and me worrying about things I couldn't do anything about really wasn't healthy, like Souji and Heisuke implied. I nodded at them and allowed them to escort me back to the bedroom. When we arrived right outside the bedroom, I suddenly pulled my hand out of Souji's hand. Souji looked questioningly at me at my actions.

"I need to go use the facilities before I return to my nap." I explained with a small blush sitting on my cheeks.

"Again?" Souji responded as he raised his eyebrow at me.

"You would too if you had a growing baby sitting on top of your bladder all day and night." I snorted before I waddled off towards the bathroom to take care of business as Souji and Heisuke stared at my retreating back with amusement.

* * *

Early the next morning, at the break of dawn, the loud sound of several shots of cannon fire startled me out of my sleep. Arms quickly settled around me to offer comfort and to calm me down after I jumped when I heard the sound of the cannons. I took a deep breath as I tried to calm my pounding heart. Were the cannon shots I just heard warning shots or was there actual fighting going on right now? Was everyone uninjured? Were they fighting on the frontlines if the Choshu really did attack?

"Shh, calm down." Souji whispered softly as he pulled me closer to him while we laid together on the futon before he gently rubbed my back. "Everything's fine. Everything will be alright."

"What's going on? Were those warning shots or is there a battle occurring right now?"

"There's no way to be sure right now without a message coming from a person who was on the front lines, but I doubt those were warning shots." he said as he looked out the open window that was behind me, causing me to roll onto my opposite side to look out the window too. "There were too many shots fired in succession for those shots to be a warning and also, judging by the amount of smoke coming from the direction of Hamaguri Gate, there has to be a battle."

A battle… That meant there was a chance that everyone was fighting right now. Being unable to go back to sleep, I made a move to get out of bed but was stopped when Souji held me to the futon with gentle firmness.

"There's no point in you getting out of bed right now. There's nothing you can do, so go back to sleep and get the rest you need."

"But there's no way I can go back to sleep when I know everyone is probably amidst a battle right now." I protested.

"Even if you can't sleep you can get more rest when you're laying down and closing your eyes." Souji countered as he looked at me expectantly. "You don't need to sleep, but I am asking you to stay in bed and rest instead of worrying needlessly over something you have no control over."

"But…"

"Shh." Souji said as he nuzzled the top of my head while running his hand down my hair. "I'll stay here with you for now, so rest."

Despite what saying that I wasn't going to be able to fall asleep again, I drifted back into an uneasy sleep within a matter of minutes. After drifting back asleep, I slept for a few more hours before I got out of bed for the day. By the time I got out of bed, Souji had already gotten out of bed and was nowhere in sight. I quickly got dressed and set out on my own personal little mission to find where the ones left behind had gotten to. I found Sannan-san, Heisuke, and Souji discussing something in the main hall. When they saw me approaching, they fell silent.

"Good morning, Shizuka-chan!" Heisuke called to me in faux cheerfulness.

"Good morning." I responded politely before yawning. "What were you guys talking about earlier?"

"Oh, that something you shouldn't have to worry about." Heisuke said while waving both of his hands in front of him in a defensive gesture. I stared at him flatly to let him know I didn't believe him.

"Er…" Heisuke said as he started to wiggle in discomfort under my stare.

"You got some news from the others right?" I asked to take a stab at what they were discussing before I arrived. "What happened?"

"Nothing important so far." Sannan-san spoke up before looking to Souji.

"The Choshu attacked, but failed and are now being chased down. No one was hurt." Souji answered simply, leaving out several important details that I wanted to know. I stared back at him with an unsatisfied look. I wanted more information. Souji sighed in response. "I'm not going to tell you anymore. I don't want any of the news I tell you to disturb your cardinal ki."

My unsatisfied expression morphed into one of annoyance. "I don't believe in ki." I retorted.

"It doesn't matter."

"Why doesn't it matter? Ki doesn't exist. There's no need to withhold information from me just because you think that it'll make me emotionally unbalanced."

"Just because you think it doesn't exist doesn't mean it really doesn't. I'm not telling you any more information."

I glared at Souji and he glared back without backing down. I then huffed and looked away. I'd let Souji have his way this time, but this didn't mean I wouldn't get him back for this later. I really hated to be left out of the loop. I really couldn't wait for my pregnancy to be over so that I could be able to hold my baby and so that people would stop tiptoeing around me. It had only been a few weeks of this treatment and it was already driving me up the wall. I hated how the taikyō limited my freedom. As I turned to march back to the bedroom, Souji's hand shot out to grab my wrist.

"I want you to stay close by right now." he said as he narrowed his eyes at my attitude to mask his concern.

"Why?" I huffed to press Souji's buttons in my anger. "There's no need to stay close by if nothing happened so far. It's not like anything dangerous is going to happen, right?"

"Shizuka." Souji said disapprovingly with a scowl at my attitude before he sighed. "I have a feeling something bad is going to happen. I'd feel better if you stayed by my side until this situation with the Choshu is handled."

In the end, Souji was correct with his ominous feeling. At the end of the day after all the fighting had ended, the radical Choshu ronin that had started the attack on the Imperial Palace had all been killed in action or committed seppuku to avoid a shameful capture while the Choshu ronin that had wanted to survive without being captured lit fires at different parts of Kyoto as a distraction. While the authorities were struggling to put out the fires, the rest of the Choshu ronin escaped and dispersed. It was horrifying to watch the main section of Kyoto burn. Luckily, due to the headquarters being in Mibu on the outskirts of Kyoto, our headquarters was spared from the flames that consumed the wooden building that comprised the heart of the city. The amount of smoke and ashes that the burning produced was suffocating. In order to avoid breathing the smoke and the ashes, I stayed inside for the three days the fire raged on in the city. At the end of those three days of burning, 27,511 houses, 1,207 storehouses, and 253 temples and shrines were razed to the ground. Even twenty-two out of the twenty-three festival floats for the Gion festival, that was supposed to occur around this time of the year, were lost. Shortly after that, the Choshu were dealt with as traitors and branded as an "Imperial Enemy". This incident later came to be known as the Hamaguri Gate Rebellion.

It was also during the Hamaguri Gate Rebellion that we discovered who the two powerful people that injured Souji and Heisuke at Ikedaya were. The man that fought Souji at Ikedaya was Kazama Chikage and the man that fought Heisuke at Ikedaya was Amagiri Kyuujyu. Both of them were apparently with Satsuma and they were present at Ikedaya to serve as spies. Another interesting man that appeared during the Hamaguri Gate Rebellion was Shiranui Kyo. This single man with a handgun managed to stall Sano-san long enough for some of the Choshu ronin to escape. Then as if there wasn't enough excitement in those short few months, in the thirty-fifth week of my pregnancy on August 28th, an unexpected guest arrived at headquarters.

* * *

This unexpected guest arrived in the afternoon while I was sitting on the porch chatting with Chizuru-chan, who was washing the laundry.

"Hello? Excuse me?" a man called into the headquarters from the front gate, interrupting the conversation I was having with Chizuru-chan.

Chizuru-chan and I paused our conversation so she could put the dirty laundry back into the washtub before she went off to the front gate to see who our guest was. Feeling curious, I peeked around the corner of a building to see Chizuru-chan greet our visitor.

"Hello." Chizuru-chan answered politely as she greeted the man. "How can I help you?"

"Hmm?" the man answered as he was taken back by the appearance of the "cute boy" that greeted him. "Oh! Can you tell me if either Isami-san, Gen-san, or Souji is here at the current moment?"

"Okita-san is currently out on patrol, but Kondou-san and Inoue-san are here. I can go tell them they have a visitor right now. Who should I say is here to see them?"

"Okita Rintarō." the man answered.

I froze behind the corner of the building I was peeking from. Rintarō was the name of the man that married Souji's oldest sister, Mitsu. This man was mine and Souji's brother-in-law and he was also a relative of Inoue-san. I had never seen or met this man before, nor have we ever exchanged letters before, so it was quite shocking to find this man here. The main question here was: Why was he here? After Chizuru-chan received the man's name she quickly ran off to alert Otou-san and Inoue-san of their visitor, leaving the man alone at the front gates and me alone behind the corner of a building. In my shock of discovering this man here at headquarters, I had let my guard down and failed to realize that I wasn't completely hidden behind the corner. If I had been paying attention then I would have noticed him peering over curiously at me. If I had been paying attention, I would have noticed the moment he started to approach me. If I had been paying attention, I would have bolted before he could speak to me.

"Excuse me." Rintarō said curiously, snapping me out of my daze only to realize he was now standing in front of me. "You're Shizuka-chan, aren't you? No, you have to be. You're the only woman in the Shinsengumi headquarters and you're pregnant."

Souji didn't want me in contact with his sister, Mitsu, and that in turn also meant he didn't want me in contact with his sister's husband, but now I had little choice. Well, what was I supposed to do now? It wasn't going to take a genius to figure out how woefully prepared I was for this moment.

* * *

[1] Lindsey, William Robert. _Fertility and Pleasure: Ritual and Sexual Values in Tokugawa Japan_. n.p.: ProQuest, UMI Dissertations Publishing, 2003.

[2] Terazawa, Yuki. _Gender, Knowledge, and Power: Reproductive Medicine in Japan, 1790-1930_. n.p.: ProQuest, UMI Dissertations Publishing, 2001.

[3] Terazawa, Yuki. _Gender, Knowledge, and Power: Reproductive Medicine in Japan, 1790-1930_. n.p.: ProQuest, UMI Dissertations Publishing, 2001.

[4] Terazawa, Yuki. _Gender, Knowledge, and Power: Reproductive Medicine in Japan, 1790-1930_. n.p.: ProQuest, UMI Dissertations Publishing, 2001.

[5] Terazawa, Yuki. _Gender, Knowledge, and Power: Reproductive Medicine in Japan, 1790-1930_. n.p.: ProQuest, UMI Dissertations Publishing, 2001.

[6] Terazawa, Yuki. _Gender, Knowledge, and Power: Reproductive Medicine in Japan, 1790-1930_. n.p.: ProQuest, UMI Dissertations Publishing, 2001.

[7] Terazawa, Yuki. _Gender, Knowledge, and Power: Reproductive Medicine in Japan, 1790-1930_. n.p.: ProQuest, UMI Dissertations Publishing, 2001.

[8] Craig, Albert M. _Choshu in the Meiji Restoration_. Lanham: Lexington Books, 1961. 204-07. Print.

[9] Craig, Albert M. _Choshu in the Meiji Restoration_. Lanham: Lexington Books, 1961. 204-07. Print.


	62. Chapter 62

**Chapter 62**

Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harms we do, we do to ourselves. –Mitch Albom

I continued to stare back at my brother-in-law blankly. Normally, I would have bowed politely and introduced myself, but I really was at a lost at what to do in this situation. With Souji constantly pounding into my head that I shouldn't speak to both Mitsu and Rintarō, I didn't know what to do at this moment. But now when I actually was forced to speak to one of them, I didn't just not know what to do, but I couldn't really process what I was supposed to do, so I did the logical thing and froze instead. Despite how much Souji did not want me to have contact with the rest of his family, it really couldn't be done, especially now. Okita Rintarō was the head of the Okita family and I had to pay my respects to him since I married into the Okita household.

How Rintarō took Mitsu's surname instead of her taking his was an interesting story and something rather uncommon in the late Tokugawa era too. From what Otou-san told me, after Souji's father died, the Okita household was struggling to stay afloat as Souji was too young to inherit the role of the family head. After struggling for a few years with the death of his mother following his father's, it was decided that Mitsu had to get married to a man that could take up the role of being the head of the Okita household. The man that offered to marry Mitsu was a kind man named Inoue Rintarō. So Mitsu accepted the marriage proposal at age fourteen and they were married. However, the two did not get married using a traditional yomi-iri, which was the introduction of a daughter-in-law into her husband's household, but using a muko-iri. A muko-iri was described as the entrance of a son-in-law into a household. When the son-in-law marries, he is adopted as the eldest son and he receives the family inheritance of his wife's household to insure the household's continuity.[1]

When I didn't respond to him, Rintarō expression of joyfulness turned into one of confusion and concern. I was finally able to snap out of my shocked daze when he waved his hand in front of my face.

"Hello? Are you okay?" he asked kindly.

I turned red. It was mortifying that I reacted in such a fashion toward my brother-in-law and the head of my household in our first meeting. Hoping to improve his first impression of me, I quickly scrambled to look for some words to say to this man while briefly wondering how long it was going to take for Chizuru-chan to go fetch Otou-san and Inoue-san.

"I…umm…" I stuttered with a fierce blush before I gave a small laugh of embarrassment and bowed apologetically. "S-Sorry about that. I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings and you caught me by surprise. Yes, I am Shizuka."

"Ah, don't worry about it." he laughed good-naturedly. "It's 'baby-brain', right? My wife often forgets things when she's pregnant too. Oh! I didn't introduce myself yet! My name is Okita Rintarō, Mitsu's husband and your brother-in-law."

"Oh!" I pretended to gasp in feminine surprise before bowing gracefully once again. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Ani-gimi."

He chuckled at my response, "No need to be so formal. We're family, right? You can just call me 'Ani-ue'."

"Alright then, Ani-ue." I answered with a strained polite smile. Calling him "Ani-ue" was still formal, but it was still less formal than "Ani-gimi". Observing him the best I could without seeming rude, I came to the conclusion that Rintarō didn't seem like a bad person. But still, Souji really didn't want me speaking with him. Would Souji truly get mad if I stayed and spoke with him a little longer before I had the chance to sneak off? I didn't really have a choice here since Rintarō is the head of the Okita household. If Okita Rintarō spoke to me then I was obligated to answer him.

"So how many weeks are you along? Since Mitsu and I haven't been getting responses to the letters we send to you and Souji, it's hard to figure out." he asked me as his cheerfulness returned.

"As of today, I am thirty-five weeks al—"

"Ah! So it is you Rintarō-san!" Otou-san said boisterously with happy surprise as he came around the corner with Inoue-san. Chizuru-chan stood slightly behind the men as she peeked over with curiosity.

"Rin! It's been ages! How have you and Mitsu-san been?" asked Inoue-san.

"Isami-san! Gen-san! I've been great! Fortune has certainly been smiling down on the Okita household lately!" Ani-ue greeted back cheerfully.

"Oh! That's right! Mitsu-san is pregnant with your third child and Shizu-chan here is pregnant with Souji's first child!" Otou-san said with so much enthusiasm that it looked like he would bounce off the floor.

"Not that I'm unhappy to see you, but what's the reason for this random visit?" Inoue-san asked with a happy grin.

With that innocent question, Ani-ue's happy smile faltered a bit. It wasn't by much, but it was enough so that both Otou-san and Inoue-san did notice it. What happened? Did some event force him to come seek us for aid? As much as I wanted to get away from Ani-ue, I couldn't help but be curious at what drove him over here.

"This is no place to stand around and discuss family matters." Otou-san said as he upheld his smile. "Why don't we all head inside so we can discuss what you came here for. Yukimura-kun, can you please go prepare some tea for us? Bring it to my room when you're done preparing the tea."

"Okay." Chizuru-chan said with a polite smile before she left for the kitchen to go prepare some tea. As she was leaving to go prepare the tea, everyone's eyes were following her and I thought this was the perfect moment to sneak away. I wanted to speak with Souji first to let him know what was going on and ask him what he wanted me to do. However, I failed to escape when the time came to sneak off.

"Shizu-chan, you're coming too." Inoue-san whispered into my ear when he caught me trying to sneak away just as everyone else turned and was heading towards Otou-san's room. He grabbed my wrist and gently dragged me along behind Otou-san and Aniue, who were obliviously chatting with each other cheerfully.

Once we arrived at Otou-san's room, Otou-san offered us all a seat. I quickly picked the spot closest to the door, but unfortunately, when I sat down, Ani-ue sat down next to me. It was going to be a lot harder to sneak off with that man sitting next to me and just when I thought my seating position couldn't get any worse, Inoue-san squeezed in on my other side to box me in while giving me a knowing look. Just how did Inoue-san always know when I was a flight risk?

"Ah, so what brings you here, Rintarō-san?" Otou-san asked while scrunching up his brow in concern. "Is everything alright back at home?"

Ani-ue's smile slipped off his face before he sighed tiredly and ran his right hand down his face. "As much as I would like to say everything is okay, it's not."

So something was happening. The moment he admitted something was wrong at home, I stopped actively looking for an escape route. This had caught my interest. While I had never met Mitsu in person before and this was the first time I've met Ani-ue, I couldn't help but be worried for them. Souji had been hurt by them, but it was obvious that in the letter's I've seen that were addressed to Otou-san that they did love and care for Souji and they had never meant to hurt him in the first place. While my initial impression of the couple was negative due to Souji's influence, I had never wished them ill and now that something bad may have happen to them, I felt the urge to help them. Souji was left at Shieikan when he was a child because they cared for him, not because they wanted to abandon him. They were still family.

Inoue-san's neutral face dropped into worry when he heard the news. "What has happened? Is Mitsu-san okay?"

"No. No, she's not. Her health has been declining rapidly recently." Ani-ue said bitterly. "She can't sleep, she doesn't eat as much as she needs to, and she has been becoming more depressed lately. Her depression is now affecting our two other kids and her current pregnancy."

"Why is her health failing?" Otou-san asked, horrified at Ani-ue's answer.

"She's been trying to get into contact with Souji for the past several years, but he's been ignoring her." Ani-ue answered flatly while staring at the floor in front of himself to avoid eye contact. "She was so happy when Souji wrote to her last year, but was horribly disappointed when all the letter said was not to come to his wedding. After she received that letter, she spent the next two days in great depression. From then, her health has been in decline due to her increasing depression. Not wanting to give up, I suggested to her she should try writing to Shizuka-chan, but that was no use either. There was never any responses and now that Mitsu's pregnant again, I'm fearing the worst. She's a formidable woman, but even she has her weaknesses."

At that moment, I never felt more ashamed of myself. Back during the winter on the night when Chizuru-chan arrived, I had received my first letter from Mitsu, but instead of opening the letter, I burned it. While I didn't want to hurt Souji or make him angry at me, that did not mean I always had to do what Souji wanted. I had a lapse in judgement and now I had family suffering because of it. I had never intended to hurt anyone with my actions.

"Shizuka!" Otou-san immediately roared at me with harsh anger when he heard what part I had played in the decline of Mitsu's health. He had used my full name, meaning he was extremely angry at me. "I never raised you to behave like this! What do you have to say for yourself?!"

"I-I…" I stuttered before I fell silent and lowered my glance to the floor to prevent people from seeing the tears building up in my eyes.

No, I had nothing to say for myself. While it was Souji who wished for me not to be in contact with his family, I had made my own choice. I had made my own decision and, my, my, what a crappy choice I made.

"Shizuka." Otou-san said with unrelenting anger and sternness. "Look up at me when I am speaking to you."

I didn't want to. No, that wasn't it. I couldn't. I was already upset and disappointed in myself and I didn't want to look up to see Otou-san's anger and disappointment.

"Shizuka." Otou-san demanded again when all I did was tighten my hands into fists on my lap.

Before Otou-san could say anything else to me, Chizuru-chan called obliviously through the closed door. "The tea is ready."

"Chizuru-chan, no need to be so formal." Souji's wry voice also came from the other side of the door. He must have just come back from patrol. "Just go in. They're already know that you have their tea, right?"

"Okita-san! But I don't want to be rude."

"No one will think you're being rude." Souji said to Chizuru-chan before he went ahead and slid the door open only to freeze when his eyes landed on the man next to me. Feeling the tense atmosphere, Chizuru-chan quickly placed the tray of tea inside the room, by the door, before she excused herself and ran off.

"Ani-ue." Souji said icily as he narrowed his eyes. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be back in Edo with Ane-ue?"

"Souji!" Ani-ue exclaimed in pleasant surprise when Souji spoke, completely ignoring or being completely oblivious to Souji's previous icy tone. "Just the person I was hoping to speak with."

"If you want to speak to me then we can speak in private." Souji continued with his icy tone as he gestured outside.

"Souji, wait." Otou-san said as he switched his focus off of me. "Rintarō-san has just told me that you haven't been in contact with your sister. Can you tell me why?"

At Otou-san's question, Souji lost his icy composure. He was afraid of Otou-san's disappointment, but at the same time he felt like he couldn't lie to Otou-san. Before Souji could speak, I spoke up for him so I could spare him from what he feared so much. Otou-san was already mad at me, so what difference would it make if I took all the blame?

"It's because I asked him not to." I lied with my choked whisper. "I wanted Souji all to myself and I thought that if I made it so that Souji didn't speak to his family than he would spend more time with me."

It sucked and it hurt to have to lie to Otou-san like this, but seeing Souji suffering from Otou-san's disappointment and anger would have been far worse. If I could find a way to protect Souji from the pain of Otou-san's disappointment then I would do it over and over again without hesitation.

"SHIZUKA!" Otou-san yelled at me with more rage, causing me to flinch. Otou-san's anger felt like a harsh slap to the face. "I have never been so disappointed in you in my entire life! Clearly I haven't disciplined you enough! I'm confining you to your room for a week! Leave!"

Quickly rising from my seat, I rushed out of the room as fast as I could. Otou-san had every right to be angry at me. I had a lapse in judgement, but despite being yelled at, I was somewhat thankful that Otou-san had yelled at me. In the past few weeks, everyone had treated me so delicately that I felt like an invalid. While being yelled at was completely unpleasant and as selfish as it was, I felt a sense of relief. However, despite the fact that the yelling made me feel relieved, it was Otou-san's disappointment in me along with my own guilty conscience that made me feel extremely miserable. It was a miracle that no tears fell from my eyes until I reached mine and Souji's bedroom. Once I arrived, I curled up into a tight ball under the blankets of the futon before I allowed myself to drown in the crushing weight of my own feelings of guilt and misery. Right now, I was a foul tasting cocktail of emotions. Guilt, misery, and relief never tasted so bitter.

* * *

I opened my eyes when I heard someone stomping down the hallway. I quickly sat up and rubbed my eyes. It was evening and I had cried myself to sleep earlier. Just as I got out of the futon and started fixing it up, the door slammed open and Souji stormed in before he slammed the door shut behind him.

"Why the hell was HE here and why were you sitting next to him?" Souji immediately demanded unhappily with a raised voice. "When we spoke with each other he spoke about you like he knew you personally! Why have you been speaking to him behind my back when I asked you not to?!"

What? Where did he get that idea? I followed Souji's wishes and didn't have any form of contact with any of his family members. I only spoke to Ani-ue for the first time earlier this afternoon and that was only because I was cornered and had no choice.

"I didn't." I replied honestly. "I spoke to him for the first time today."

"Then why does he know so much about you?" Souji interrogated me. "The moment I got to speak to him in privacy, he went ahead and started saying how you were a wonderful wife for me and all sorts of other things he would have only known if he had spoken to you personally!"

So what if Ani-ue knew so much about me? That did not mean that I had spoken to him before this. In fact, I happen to know Otou-san liked to write about me when he wrote letters to Mitsu and Ani-ue. I had seen the letters that Otou-san wrote. Everything that Ani-ue knew about me came from Otou-san's letters.

"I have never spoken to him before." I stated firmly once again. "Everything he knows about me comes from the letters that Otou-san wrote to him."

"How do I know you're not lying to me just like you lied to Kondou-san back there?!" Souji yelled back at me.

What? No. He did not get to say that. I suffered enough these past months just because I wanted to make Souji happy by following the taikyō. I only ignored Mitsu's letters because he didn't want me speaking to his sister and her family. I only lied to Otou-san earlier to I could shoulder Otou-san's disappointment and anger alone so he could be spared the pain. I don't care if he's only saying these things because he couldn't handle seeing one of his family members again. No. Souji doesn't get to speak to me this way just because he's in pain.

"No. You don't get to accuse me of lying to you." I retorted as I started to raise my voice back at Souji in anger. "I'm not lying to you! I have no reason to lie to you! The only reason I lied back there was for YOU!"

"Why the hell should I believe you?!" Souji yelled back in anger. "I did hear you lie to Kondou-san back there, or are you going to say that my hearing is faulty?! It's all your fault THAT MAN is here right now! I never wanted to see him or hear about my ane-ue again!"

"What?! How is it my fault?! It's not like I wrote to him and asked him to come!"

"He's only here because he and my ane-ue wanted to meet you! If we weren't married then he wouldn't have shown up!"

"He's not here only because he wanted to meet me! Didn't he tell you the reason that he's here is because your onee-san's health is deteriorating because of depression?!"

"No, this is all your fault! Marrying you was a mistake!"

I understood that Souji was blinded in his anger and that mixing in that anger with his family produced disastrous results. I knew he would say unreasonable and hurtful things just because he was feeling hurt, but just because I knew did not give me the ability to prevent things from spiraling out of control. He yelled at me and I yelled back at him in turn with the anger I had suppressed from these past few weeks. Before I knew it, the situation turned into a full out shouting match with Souji. Angry people were blind and foolish, for reason at such a time takes flight and in the absence of reason, wrath plunders all the riches of intellect, while judgment remain the prisoner of its own pride.

"I see… So I was a mistake…" I said quietly with a small sad smile before I let out a silent bitter chuckle of disbelief. The last statement Souji said hurt the most and drained me of all the strength to argue back. "Fine then, I was a mistake and I guess mistakes shouldn't be allowed to stay."

After I said my piece, I quietly left the room. Otou-san may have confined me to my room for punishment, but that was no longer my room. I wasn't going to stay somewhere I wasn't wanted. When I left the room, I had no idea where my feet would take me. I didn't leave the headquarters because, even in my depressed state, it wouldn't take a genius to figure out that would be a bad idea. Being thirty-five weeks pregnant meant that I had five weeks still left to go, but that was only if the baby didn't come early. It was all too common for babies to arrive during the mothers' thirty-eighth week of pregnancy. Being so close to delivery also meant I couldn't really defend myself if I did get into trouble outside. When I my feet finally stopped, I was in front Yamazaki-san's room. I didn't know why I stopped at Yamazaki-san's room. While we did work together on almost a daily basis, we never really talked about anything else other than work. It didn't make sense that I subconsciously stopped here, but when did anything make sense when you were upset and depressed?

Yamazaki-san didn't say anything when I opened the door to his room. He didn't say anything when I entered his room and went to go sit down in a corner to sulk and reflect on what just happened. He just continued to work at his desk silently. When Souji and I had our spat earlier, it was so loud that probably a good half of the people at headquarters heard it. Yamazaki-san probably was among the half that heard the argument. He didn't try to speak to me until I spoke up an hour later.

"How did everything end up like this?" I asked in a small voice without expecting an answer. "How do things that seem to run so perfectly and smoothly then suddenly fall apart so fast?"

"I think the question is: how do we deal with things when they fall apart?" Yamazaki-san said as he put down his brush. "We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy."

I stopped to think about what Yamazaki-san said. What he said had truth in it. Things will always happen. There will always be fights and disagreements no matter how much we try to solve a problem, but it was how we reacted to these situation that determines how our futures proceeded. We can never control how people will act but we can control how we react. When Yamazaki-san knew that he got my attention, he continued speaking.

"So I heard that argument you had with Okita-san earlier. Would you like to talk about what happened?"

"As you probably know by now, we have a visitor." I said after a moment of silence. I continued when Yamazaki-san nodded his head. "That visitor is my and Souji's brother-in-law. You also probably know by now that Souji is estranged from his family and that he never wanted to see or hear from them again. When he saw our brother-in-law today for the first time in ages, it pushed him over the edge and caused him to lash out at me. I knew what Souji was feeling and I knew that he would probably lash out at me, but when he did I was unprepared. Instead of trying to calm him down and comfort him, I lash back at him in anger and it turned into this massive mess."

Yamazaki-san sat quietly as he processed what I said before answering, "Maybe this was a good thing?"

"A good thing?" I exclaimed in surprise. "How is this a good thing in any way?"

"This is a chance for Okita-san to repair things with his family. Because he snapped when he saw his brother-in-law it means he's still hasn't forgiven his family for whatever they did to him in the past and it's been eating him up on the inside ever since. If he reacted in this way that means he needs to have closure over what happen and running away is not going to bring closure. When things are shaky and nothing is working, we might realize that we are on the verge of something. We might realize that this is a very vulnerable and tender place, and that tenderness can go either way. We can shut down and feel resentful or we can touch in on that throbbing quality."

I stared at him for what he just said. It made sense to me. How did Yamazaki-san seem to have an answer for everything? At that moment I felt like I was looking at Buddha, or at least, somebody with very good advice.

"You're amazing, you know that?" I praised him as I scrambled to my feet so I could go back and speak to Souji. Before I left the room, I paused and looked back. "Thanks."

Yamazaki-san offered me a silent nod with a confident smile before he returned to his work. I moved as quickly as I could to get back to my bedroom. Yamazaki-san was right about his diagnosis with Souji. Souji was struggling with the situation with his family and because I didn't want him to be hurt, I let him continue running away from his family problems instead of helping him face them. He may have snapped at me earlier and hurt me, but I knew he didn't mean it. It was his way of crying out for help. It was time to stop running. It was time to give Souji his closure that he so desperately needed.

When I returned back to the bedroom, it was dark and silent. There were no lanterns lit inside, but I knew Souji was inside. The darkness of the room symbolized how he felt at the current moment. Quietly opening the door, I was greeted by a room racked with despair. The desk was overturned and laid on its side with all the papers that were once on it scattered across the floor. A vase was lying on the floor in pieces after it had been thrown against the wall in a fit of rage. The left wall had small blood stains, telltale signs that Souji had punched the wall until he split at least one of his knuckles open.

Souji was laying on his side on the floor with his back facing me. He had been so distracted by his own dark thoughts that he failed to notice me. I went to an untouched shelf for a small first aid kit for his hand first before I approached him. Souji didn't notice me until I sat down directly behind him and I placed my hand on his shoulders.

"Shizuka… Why are you back?" Souji breathed in disbelief after he felt my touch. The moment he had felt my touch, he had shot up and turned to stare at me in shock. "I… I thought that—"

"I told you before that it's impossible for me to hate you, right?" I said gently as my eyes drifted down to his left hand. His knuckles were still bleeding from being split open. I placed the first aid kit on the floor next to me before I stood up once again so I could light the lantern for light. I returned to my seat in front of Souji afterwards. "So let's talk about what caused this outburst. Here, give me your hand."

"Shizuka…I'm sorry… I lashed out in anger and hurt you when I never meant to." Souji said quietly without eye contact and without giving me his injured hand.

"I know." I answered before I reached over and took his injured hand into my lap so I could start cleaning it. "It's not completely your fault. I was afraid of hurting you, so I never pushed the issue with your sister and by doing so, I may have caused more damage in the long run. I'm sorry. I should have had better judgement."

"No, you have nothing to be sorry for. This is my fault."

I smiled gently at his contrite tone. "All the apologizing is nice an all, but I think we would make more progress if we discussed what to do regarding your issue with your sister and her family." I said with a little humor to lighten the mood just as I finished bandaging up his hand.

Souji sighed before he pulled me into a hug and pushed his face against my chest so I could cradle his head in a comforting manner the best I could with my belly in the way. "You know," Souji said slyly as he looked up at me from my chest with a small grin after a moment of silence, "I really like how large your breasts have grown with the pregnancy."

"You—!" I scoffed playfully back at Souji. He was joking around again. He would be fine. We would be fine and recover from this argument. When tempered in fire, we grow stronger. When we suffer, we survive.

* * *

"I promise I'll be back in three weeks and no later, so don't give birth while I'm gone." Souji said to me by the front gate the next morning.

Souji and I decided the night before that in order to repair his relationship with his family, especially his sister, he needed to go speak to his sister in person and as soon as possible for the sake of her pregnancy and health. Sure, it was cutting it a bit close to my due date and there was the risk of me possibly going into labor while Souji was gone, but both Souji and I agreed that this should be done before I gave birth. It would be nice if our child did have other family to rely on other than its own father and mother, and it would be nice for Souji to meet his nephew and niece.

When Souji and I finished our discussion last night, we both went to Otou-san and Ani-ue to tell them what was truly going on and what we had planned. Souji would travel to Edo with Ani-ue and spend one week down there patching up his relationship with his sister. The travel time in total would amount to two weeks and Souji would, hopefully, be back before I went into labor. When Otou-san heard what was truly going on, he apologized profusely to me for losing his temper with me and Ani-ue apologized when he discovered he was the source of the fight that occurred between me and Souji hours before. After apologizing, Otou-san listened to our plan and approved of our course of action. However, there were additional parts added on to the plan. Since Otou-san, Shinpachi-san, and Heisuke had to leave for Edo on September 9th for official business for the Bakufu, Otou-san was most likely not going to be able to be present when it was time for me to give birth. When it was time for Souji to return to Kyoto, Otou-san was going to have Tsune-san and Tamako-chan travel back with Souji so that Tsune-san could be here for the birth when he was in Edo.

"No promises there." I told Souji with a small smile of amusement. "If the baby wants to come out then it's coming out. So you better live up to your promise and return on time." I said before I kissed Souji. "Travel safely and I'll see you when you return."

"Yeah." Souji said.

"It's unfortunate that you can't come with us to meet Mitsu, but I'm sure there will be opportunities in the future." Ani-ue said kindly.

"I'm sure." I answered politely. "But if she ever wants to talk to me beforehand, tell her to write to me. I'll answer this time. Travel safely."

With a polite farewell bow, both men waved me good-bye afterwards before they set off to Edo together.

* * *

[1] Lindsey, William Robert. _Fertility and Pleasure: Ritual and Sexual Values in Tokugawa Japan_. n.p.: ProQuest, UMI Dissertations Publishing, 2003.


	63. Chapter 63

**Chapter 63**

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why." ― Mark Twain

"Yes? Is there something you need?" Sannan-san asked as he peered over at me through the corner of his eye without pausing his work on the Water of Life.

"Nope!" I answered from behind while popping the "p" with annoying cheerfulness. "I just felt like watching you work."

"Really? So you're not keeping an eye on me just because you're afraid I'll get impatient and take the Water of Life instead of waiting for surgery?" Sannan-san snorted as he nailed the true reason I was watching him.

I sighed before asking seriously, "So, what gave me away? I could have sworn you wouldn't be able to figure out my true purpose immediately."

"You hate everything about the Water of Life so there is no way you would willingly stay around when I'm working on it."

"True, I absolutely hate watching you work on it so obsessively."

"So why are you worried about me possibly using the Water of Life when you told me you could operate? You should be more worried about yourself right now. Although you're merely four weeks away from your due date, it is still possible for you to go into labor at any moment now."

"Well, I semi-answered it before. You're working on the Water of Life so obsessively now. It feels like you're considering taking it if I don't speed up my work on the nerve graft. Also, you're preparing for the case if the nerve graft fails too, right? You may be a skilled tactician and orator, but you are a swordsman above all and a swordsman must be able to wield his sword. "

"Sharp as always." Sannan-san said with a self-depreciating chuckle. "But you forgot the part that I have nothing to do now that my arm is injured. Working on the Water of Life is the only useful thing I can do right now to pass the time until my arm is in working order again."

"I didn't leave it out." I said nonchalantly. "I thought I didn't have to say it because it was implied."

"It is. I just felt like getting the last word in." Sannan-san said, causing me to pout and him to smile. "Alright, you have wasted enough time here. Kondou-san, Toudou-kun, and Nagakura-kun should be leaving for Edo right about now. You should go see them off before you get some rest."

"Alright." I yielded. "But I'm not tired, so I'm not going to take a nap after I see them off. I'm coming back to bug you afterwards."

"Delightful." Sannan-san commented sarcastically before he all but kicked me out of his lab.

"Hey!" I protested but didn't put up much of a struggle anyways. I wanted to see Otou-san before he left with Shinpachi-san and Heisuke. The next time they'd see me, I'd have a baby in my arms instead of having a baby bump.

Deciding to leave Sannan-san alone for now, I turned around and waddled towards Otou-san's room. Otou-san was probably finishing up packing for the trip and I wanted to catch him before he met up with the others and left. On the way to Otou-san's room I saw Heisuke interrupt Chizuru-chan while she was doing the laundry to chat with her. When I got to Otou-san's room, I poked my head in through the open door only to see Otou-san haphazardly tossing some clothes onto the cloth he was going to turn into his travel sling.

"You know that it would look less lumpy and be easier to carry if you folded your clothing first, right?" I pointed out as I stepped into plain view.

"Ah, Shizu-chan! Err…you're right about that, but as you know, I've never been really good or fast when it comes to folding clothes." Otou-san said enthusiastically while rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

I giggled at Otou-san's cheerful demeanor before I entered the room and sat down in front of the messy lump of clothing and began folding each piece neatly and efficiently. Otou-san sat in on the other side of the pile of clothing. He watched me fold the clothing with a content expression on his face before he suddenly reached over and pat me on the head affectionately.

"It's so unfortunate that I can't be here when it's time for you to give birth." Otou-san said with a light hint of sadness in his voice. "I can't ignore this duty from the Lord of Aizu, but Souji will return next week with Tsune and Tama-chan to help with the birth."

"No need to worry." I reassured Otou-san as I finished up packing for him. "I'll be in good hands. So what duties has Aizu given to you this time?"

"Well, while Toudou-kun goes ahead and does some recruiting, Nagakura-kun and I will go urge the shogun's council with permission from Lord of Aizu to go to Edo to send Iemochi-sama to Kyoto to meet with the Emperor regarding the delay in carrying out the order issued to punish the Choshu." Otou-san explained. "After the meeting with the Shogun's council, I'll join Toudou-kun in recruiting new members for the Shinsengumi."

I nodded while I absorbed the information Otou-san told me. "Sounds like you have your work cut out for you. Now isn't it time to get to the front gate? Everyone's probably waiting for you."

"Oh! I forgot!" Otou-san exclaimed as he pulled his hand back and jumped onto his feet. He quickly grabbed his newly folded pack and secured it to his back before he grabbed his sugegasa[1] and secured it under his arm. He then turned to me. "Why don't you come to see us off?" Otou-san asked as he helped me to my feet.

"Okay." I agreed before I shuffled behind Otou-san to the front gate. Shinpachi-san was already at the front gate, however, Heisuke was nowhere in sight.

"Finally!" Shinpachi-san said boisterously with a jubilant grin. "Figured Kondou-san would happily move at his own speed. Heisuke on the other hand… What's taking him so long? That snot-nosed brat is making wonderful me wait!"

"Otou-san moving at his own pace? How about Otou-san moving at my slow pace?" I joked as I bounced off of his comment while I gestured to my large belly during our wait for Heisuke to appear. "We did show up together. Maybe Otou-san was moving at my speed? As for Heisuke, I saw him talking to Chizuru-chan a bit earlier."

"Nah, even when you're about to pop, you still move pretty fast. Well, unless it's cold or when you're sparring, but that was before you were pregnant. Imagine how slow you would be now in those conditions." Shinpachi-san jabbed back playfully at my expense as I feigned offense.

Otou-san laughed at our display, "Hahaha! Sorry! Sorry! I was the one moving slow. Shizu-chan had to help me pack a bit earlier. I'm still pretty bad at folding clothing."

"Heh, that's just like you, Kondou-san." Shinpachi-san said to Otou-san before he spotted Heisuke running towards us. "There you are, Heisuke! We wasted enough time waiting for you to finish flirting with Chizuru-chan~!"

"Hah? I wasn't flirting!" Heisuke instantly defended himself, although the blush on his cheeks didn't make is defense very compelling. "I was just telling Chizuru that since I'll be in Edo, I can check up on her house and ask around if anyone has heard from her otou-san! Besides, like you get to complain about me flirting with girls! You do it all the time!"

"Hmm? What was that little boy? I couldn't hear you over my own attractiveness." Shinpachi-san purposely egged Heisuke on while flexing to show off his impressive muscles.

I giggled once more before putting a stop to the silly argument. "While I'm sure you guys have the energy to argue all day, Edo is a long walk from here. Better start walking if you want to get there by the end of the week."

"Right." both arguing men agreed.

Heisuke grinned at me, "Don't worry when it comes time for you to give birth. You'll be fine."

"Hey! Why ya gotta say 'don't worry'? Of course she's going to worry if you say that!" Shinpachi-san objected verbosely. "You're going to do great, Shizuka-chan!"

I smiled at their concern for me. It was really touching that they all cared so much for me. "Thank you for your concerns. I'm sure I'll do fine with so many people thinking of me. Please be careful on your travels."

"We will." Otou-san answered before he pecked me on the forehead. "Alright men! It's time to set off on our honorable journey!"

"Yosh! That's what I like to hear! Kondou-san really is great at making a road trip seem more exciting!" exclaimed Shinpachi-san.

"Bye!" I waved the men good-bye and watched them until they disappeared from sight.

* * *

"So what do you do if a patient has a comminuted fracture in the femur? No wait, first define what a comminuted fracture is." I quizzed Chizuru-chan from my seat on the porch while she hung the laundry. It was a nice and sunny day and perfect for hanging the laundry to dry.

"A comminuted fracture is when the bone has broken into three or more pieces. In most cases, the number of bone fragments corresponds with the amount of force required to break the bone." Chizuru-chan hung the last wet haori before she turned to face me and answered confidently. "To fix a comminuted fracture in the femur, I would use intramedullary nailing. During this procedure, a specially designed metal rod is inserted into the marrow canal of the femur. The rod passes across the fracture to keep it in position. The intramedullary nail can be inserted into the canal either at the hip or the knee through a small incision. It is screwed into the bone at both ends. This keeps the nail and the bone in proper position during healing."

The rate of learning for Chizuru-chan was impressive despite not understanding everything immediately. She wasn't like Yamazaki-san who could memorized everything in one go, but she worked hard. Chizuru-chan always went over her notes before she went to bed each night and was always reviewing everything she learned while she did her chores each day. The amount of effort and focus she put forward every time was amazing and it really showed her dedication to learn the material.

I applauded Chizuru-chan's answer cheerfully as she playfully bowed with a grand flourish, causing us to both giggle at the little display.

"Hehehe, you're amazing, Chizuru-chan!" I praised her. "Not many people can learn so fast."

"It's only because I have a wonderful mentor." she responded modestly before she turned back around so she could finish up the laundry. "Are you nervous about becoming a mother soon?"

"Yes." I answered honestly as I laid a hand on my belly. "While I'm sure the birthing process is nerve-racking and painful, that's not what I'm most scared of. A mother's responsibility is to make sure she raises her child to be a good person. I'm scared that I won't be a good mother. I don't know how to raise another person."

Chizuru-chan turned back around to face me. Just as she was about to speak, to reassure me I believe, a voice I didn't expect to hear so soon spoke up behind me.

"I'm pretty sure that fear is fairly baseless. While I'm sure you don't know how to raise another person yet, I know you'll do a good job." the voice said from behind me.

I recognized that voice! I quickly jumped to my feet and turn around to find Souji standing behind me with a grin. What was he doing back already? Souji had returned four days early. I jumped into his arms as he chuckled at my happy surprise and hugged me back. We may have only been apart little under three weeks, but I missed him to the point of not being able to sleep by myself in our room. I slept in Otou-san's room for the first week and after Otou-san left for Edo, I bunked with Chizuru-chan.

"Still pregnant, I see." Souji said wryly after his chuckled had died down. "Good to know you didn't give birth while I was away."

"What are you doing back early? Not that I'm complaining, but you're back four days early. I thought you would have stayed with Ane-ue a bit longer." I said after I released Souji from my hug.

"Ane-ue was happy that I went to see her, but she quickly kicked me out while saying that I needed to return to Kyoto because I shouldn't be leaving you alone for long periods of time when you're so close to your due date." he said before he kissed my cheek. "Plus, someone was in a rush to see you."

After Souji finished speaking, he stepped to the side to reveal the people that were standing behind him. Tsune-san was smiling at me and Tamako-chan was hiding behind her mother with her head poking out slightly as she stared at me with curiosity.

"Tsune-san!" I exclaimed in delight as I rushed up to hug her. It had been over a year since I had last seen her and Tamako-chan. In fact, the last time I saw Tamako-chan, she couldn't even walk yet.

"It is good to see you again, my dear." Tsune-san said with a graceful happiness as she hugged me back. When she released me she urged Tamako-chan out from behind her. "Tamako-chan say hi to Onee-san."

Tamako-chan babbled cutely at me with baby talk before she lifted her arms at me signaling that she wanted to be picked up.

Souji laughed at the gesture before he came in and scooped Tamako-chan up energetically. "Sorry, but Onee-san can't pick you up right now, but Onii-san can."

Tamako-chan let out a shriek-like giggle and babbled cutely before crying out, "Nii-san! Up! Up!"

"Alright then. Up we go!" Souji said as he bounced Tamako-chan up and down, causing her to laugh more.

"So how have you been recently?" Tsune-san asked me maternally before she gently laid a hand on my belly. "Have you been having any contractions in these past few weeks?"

"Some." I answered truthfully. "They've been getting stronger and more frequent with each passing day."

"That's good. That just means your body is getting ready for when it is time to deliver the baby." Tsune-san smiled.

"Oh? I thought I heard a familiar voice." another person said before the door we were standing next to opened to reveal Hijikata-san.

"Hijikata-san!" said Tsune-san in delight as she went to go hug him. "It has been a while, has it not?"

"Yes it has." Hijikata-san happily greeted Tsune-san. "It's been a while since I've seen Tamako too. How was your journey?"

"It went smoothly. Isami-san arranged a carriage to take us most of the way to Kyoto. We only had to walk the last day."

"But still, you must be tired. Why don't I take your possessions to your room so you can get some rest?" Hijikata-san offered before he called out to Chizuru-chan. "Chizuru, come help me take these bags to Kondou-san's room."

"Okay." Chizuru-chan said as she hung the last article of wet clothing before she came to Hijikata-san's side to help take the bags.

"Oh, this is Yukimura Chizuru." Hijikata-san introduced Chizuru-chan when he saw Tsune-san peering curiously at Chizuru-chan.

"It's very nice to meet you." greeted Chizuru-chan with a polite bow.

"It is a pleasure to meet you too." Tsune-san bowed back. "My name is Kondou Tsune and my daughter's name is Tamako. Isami-san wrote to me and told me about your situation on how your otou-san went missing and how you came to Kyoto to search for him. I am glad Isami-san and the others are helping you search. If you need anything, feel free to talk to me or write to me in the future."

"I will!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed cheerfully, touched by Tsune-san's kindness. "Thank you."

Tsune-san then turned back to Hijikata-san after offering Chizuru-chan a kind smile. "Where are the others? I know Isami, Toudou-kun, and Nagakura-san are in Edo right now, but the others?"

"Hmm? Oh, Sannan-san is out with Gen-san to run some errands, and Saito and Harada are out on patrol right now." Hijikata-san answered. "Would you like to come with me to your room now? I know the journey to Kyoto was a long journey, especially while carrying Tamako."

"There is no need." Tsune-san replied. "I still have plenty of strength left. Has there been a separate room set up yet to serve as a birthing room?"

"No, not yet." Souji said as he held Tamako-chan near Hijikata-san so she could tug on Hijikata-san's hair.

Tsune-san frowned, "No this will not do. There must be a separate birthing room set up to prevent the spread of kegare after birth."

Kegare was otherwise known as pollution. Pregnancy was intimately bound up with the notion of kegare. Pollution, notably from seminal and blood spilling was prominent in the Tokugawa era, but other indices of kegare also were present and potential held great impact. Intensely tied to pregnancy, from conception to birth, were indices such as the constant specter of sickness and death of the mother, the threatened institutional consequences of her loss, and her slowing down and becoming less productive in affairs. Kegare wasn't particularly seen as evil, but it was seen as a bad thing to carry large amounts of kegare because it supposedly invited misfortune and disaster.[2]

Because of notions of kegare, historically in Japan, pregnant women at time of delivery, together with their newborns were separated from the rest of the household or group for a set period before integrated back into group life to prevent kegare from spreading to the rest of the household. This reintegration would be accomplished through the passage of time and rites of incorporation, such as a baby's first shrine visit, which was recommended on a boy's thirty-second day and on a girl's thirty-third day of life. The parturition of the room was also critical in handling the taboo of pregnancy and birth. There were a number of items that that were considered taboo to bring into the birthing room because of the fear that those items would cause an uneven shift of kegare and the positive energy of hare in the room that would put the recovering mother and child in danger. Many items that were considered taboo to bring within the birthing room were clothes. The potential disruption to the woman and child within the birthing room lay particularly with the pattern and color of materials. Patterns and colors considered inappropriate to a major life event such, as pregnancy and birth, were deemed as a threat to the creation of a highly ordered environment. A list of clothing items considered invasive and disruptive included materials bleached out by too much exposure to light, clothing with a pattern of furrowed ridges, garments with no pattern and of a uniformed color, anything purple, cloth tie-dyed bright red, garments dyed or woven in a checkered pattern, and anything appearing to be shrunken or rippled.[3]

"Err… right…" Hijikata-san said to Tsune-san as he tried to get Tamako-chan's hands out of his hair without upsetting little Tamako-chan. "Well then, I guess I'll leave you to set up the birthing room. Let me know if there's anything you need. Ouch! Don't pull Tamako!"

* * *

After quickly setting up the birthing room within a few days of her arrival, Tsune-san made herself comfortable in headquarters. The foot soldiers quickly found themselves completely smitten with Tsune-san after she offered to cook for everyone on her first day here. Before the end of the week, all the soldiers found themselves willingly offering to help Tsune-san with anything and everything in hopes that she would offer to cook for all of them again. As for Tamako-chan, the thing she quickly became smitten with was with Saito-san's scarf. When she wasn't toddling after her mother, Souji, or me, she could be found tugging on Saito-san's scarf and on the rare occasion, Hijikata-san's hair. Because of her apparent love for Saito-san's scarf, it was all too easy to leave Tamako-chan with Saito-san when we needed someone to watch her. There were no complaints from Saito-san either. Even though it looked like Saito-san was just merely tolerating Tamako-chan in silence, it was clear that under that stoic mask that even Saito-san was somewhat smitten with the little girl and all too eager to spend some time with her.

As for the last few weeks of my pregnancy, it flew along rather smoothly, for the most part. The one thing that bothered me the most starting during my thirty-eighth week was that I was leaky. Yes, leaky. At first I thought I was pretty fortunate that I didn't have to deal with leaking breasts during my late weeks of pregnancy like so many other women, but I was wrong. Once I hit the middle of my thirty-eighth week, I started to leak colostrum, a thin yellowish fluid that fed the newborn during its first few days of life before the breast milk started to come in. And when I say leak, I don't mean a few drops every once and a while. In the beginning I only leaked a few drops, but by the end of the week, I had a steady flow of colostrum leaking. It got to the point where I had to ask Tsune-san to teach me how start padding my breasts to prevent the colostrum from staining my kimono. This was much harder to do without the modern invention of the bra. Souji on the other hand, seemed rather amused at my complaining. If the amount of leaking I was having now was foreshadowing the amount of breast milk I would leak after birth… Nope, I didn't want to think about it.

Another area I was feeling kind of leaky was…well, down there. It wasn't because I was unable to hold my urine or anything like that, but because of the increased vaginal discharge all women had during pregnancy. During pregnancy, a woman's vaginal discharge increased till after birth to prevent infection. To deal with the discharge throughout my pregnancy, I had to wear and constantly change my ume. As I got into the last few weeks of my pregnancy, the discharge got heavier as my body prepared for labor.

During the evening of October 4th while I was changing my ume again due to the heavy vaginal discharge I had been experiencing, I noticed a large blob of mucus with streaks of old blood in it on my ume. My mucus plug had come out. The mucus plug was mucus that accumulated at the cervix during pregnancy. When the cervix began to open wider, the mucus would be discharged into the vagina. After the passing of the mucus plug, labor may start anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks later. I would be going into labor soon. Souji, who was doing maintenance on his katana in the room, noticed me staring at my dirty ume and came over to see if I had zoned out.

"What are you staring at?" Souji asked as he came up from behind me before he looked down over my shoulder at the ume in my hands. He narrowed his eyes when he saw some of blood in my mucus plug before asking me seriously, "Are you bleeding down there?"

"No." I answered as I continued to stare at my mucus plug in slight awe. "I just lost my mucus plug."

"What? Mucus plug? You've lost me." Souji said as he stared at me in confusion as he demanded an answer. "What is all of this supposed to mean?"

"It means I'll be going into labor soon." I answered as I dropped my ume into the nearby bucket of cold water before I began putting on another ume. "When a pregnant woman loses her mucus plug, she may enter labor anywhere from a few hours later to a few weeks later."

"Wait! Labor?!" Souji exclaimed as his voice became squeaky after it went up a few octaves. "Is there anything we should be doing right now?"

"Not really." I said as calmly as possible as I straightened my kimono after putting on a fresh ume. "Labor could start in a few hours or in a few weeks, though most likely in a few hours or days for me since this is my fortieth week. Nothing to do but continue on normally and wait until labor actually starts."

Souji sighed emotionally as he shakily snaked his arm around my waist from behind so his hands could rest on my belly. He pulled me close so that the back of my head was touching his chest before he kissed my cheek gently. "Soon." he said as he exhaled slowly.

"Soon." I repeated quietly after him as I place my hands over his.

Following my advice, Souji resumed maintenance on his sword, abet a bit more jumpy than before, until it was time for bed. We both crawled into the futon and fell asleep shortly after going to bed. It was the Hour of the Rat on October 5th when I woke up due to feeling strange. When I woke up, it wasn't because my water broke or because I was having contractions but because I was feeling restless. Feeling me shift restlessly in his arms, Souji groaned before he was roused from his sleep.

"Mmm…Shizuka?" Souji groaned before rolling onto his back and running a hand down his face to chase off his sleepiness. "What's wrong?" he asked as he rolled back onto his side so he could rub my waist in a comforting motion. "Is it time?"

"I'm not sure yet." I answered him before I sucked in a sharp breath of air when I was caught off guard with a sudden contraction that was slightly stronger than any other one I had felt previously during my last few weeks. I waited for nearly a minute for the contraction to pass before I spoke again. "But I just had a strong contraction. I need to wait a little more to see if these are the regular contractions of labor."

"Okay." Souji replied comfortingly before he kissed my forehead. "How strong was that contraction?"

"Mmm…it felt like a sudden menstrual cramp. How are you so calm right now? When I told you I was going to go into labor yesterday evening, you got all squeaky."

"Well, I had some time to calm down and put things into perspective." he said as he waited with me for the next possible contraction.

My next contraction was twenty minutes later and lasted about the same amount of time as the first contraction. It was also slightly stronger than the first one too. After my sixth contraction, with each one coming sooner than the one before and growing in strength, I was sure, without a doubt, I was in labor.

"Souji?" I said before tightening my grip on his upper arm as another contraction hit. I let out another deep breath as the minute long contraction passed through. "I'm fairly sure this isn't false labor now. Can you take me to the birthing room before you go get Tsune-san?"

"Yeah." Souji kissed my forehead once more before he sat up and gathered me into his arms.

He picked me up bridal style and carried me out of our bedroom and towards the birthing room. Once he got to the birthing room that Tsune-san set up, he laid me on my side on the futon before he grabbed some towels to place under me to catch the amniotic fluid in the case my water broke while he was getting Tsune-san. He then quickly lit the lanterns for light.

"I'll be back in a bit, okay?" he said just as he reached under my sleeping robe to remove my ume.

I nodded at Souji in response. He quickly caressed my cheek and dropped off the ume in an appropriate place before he left to go fetch Tsune-san. Tsune-san arrived at the room about a minute later without Souji.

"Do not worry." Tsune-san reassured me by rubbing my back when she saw my brow crinkle in concern when she arrived without Souji. "He will be back in a little while. He just went to go drop Tamako-chan off with Hijikata-san. So how far apart are your contractions right now?"

"I would say about sixteen minutes apart right now." I said as I shifted a bit on the futon. "The contractions hurt a bit right now, but they're not too terrible yet. They just feel like strong menstrual cramps."

"That will change in a few hours." Tsune-san said as she turn to fumble in the small bag she brought with her when she entered the room. "Ah!" she exclaimed after she found what she was looking for. As she turned back around to face me I saw her hold out a small dried seahorse to me.

Dried seahorses were used as amulets that a mother would grip in her hands as she gave birth. If there weren't any seahorses available then cowrie shells would be used instead. These items were used as amulets due to the belief that they helped ensure a safe and easy delivery of the baby.

I raised my eyebrows at the seahorse causing Tsune-san to sigh loudly at me. Like always, I didn't believe in the power of "amulets" and therefore I thought it was pointless to grip one in my hand during labor. I would have preferred to hold Souji's hand when it was time to push, not a funny-looking dried creature from the sea.

"Just humor me." Tsune-san said as she held the seahorse out to me again. "I know you don't believe in things like this, but I do. It would really make me feel better if you could just ignore your own unbelief and hold the seahorse for me."

"Umm…okay?" I said before I took the seahorse hesitantly from her hand.

"Tsune-san," Souji said as he announced his arrival back in the birthing room, "I dropped off Tamako-chan with Hijikata-san, but she was a bit fussy so it took a bit longer than usual."

"I see. Thank you very much, Souji-kun." said Tsune-san before she waved Souji over to where I was. "There is nothing to do but wait for the labor to progress. Stay with her and massage her back lightly to relax her tensing muscles."

Souji nodded before he made his way over to me. He helped me sit up on the futon before he started gently rubbing and kneading my back to help relax me. In contrary to popular belief, the husband was allowed in the birthing room while the mother gave birth and was actually even encouraged to participate in the birthing process during the Tokugawa period[4].

"I thought you didn't believe in things like amulets." he said as he eyed the seahorse in my hand with amusement.

"I don't. I'm only holding this to make Tsune-san feel better. I'm indulging her."

"It is for your own good." Tsune-san cut in as she moved about the room. She had been eavesdropping on our conversation the whole time. Souji chuckled at Tsune-san's response before returning his focus on to massaging my back.

"So, how are the labor pains?" Souji asked as he rubbed part of my lower back.

"Actually, not so bad right n—" I started to say but stopped when I felt a wet trickle between my legs. Souji arched his brow at me when I suddenly stopped. "My water just broke." I said after I took another deep breath.

"Well then," Souji said as he stood up from behind me and made his way to in front of me. "I guess it's time to change the towels underneath you. Can you lay down and lift your hips?"

"Yes."

After my water broke, labor moved on far more quickly afterwards. My early labor passed extremely quickly and I moved on into active labor just three hours after my water broke. My early labor lasted a total of six hours and it was once I entered into my active labor that my contractions became incredibly painful. To help me endure the pain a bit better, Souji laid me back on my side on the futon and offered comfort and support by laying down with me and spooning me from behind.

"Oh…." I groaned a bit as another contraction passed. They typically occurred about every three minutes now and lasted up to a little more than a minute each.

"You're doing well." Souji whispered into my ear. "Just hang in there."

"Mmm… Don't you want a break to stand up and stretch?" I asked as I relaxed a bit in the little time between the contractions. "You've been laying here with me for the past few hours and I'm covered in sweat right now. I can't possibly be pleasant to be so close to right now. Besides you should go eat breakfast. I'll stuck be here for a couple more hours."

"I think I'd rather skip on breakfast." He said wryly. "For some reason, having Tamako-chan around has convinced Hijikata-san that it would be a good idea for him to cook. He's going to be the one cooking breakfast today."

At that moment, Tsune-san who was running her fingers through my hair suddenly stood up and began heading for the door like she was on a mission.

"Tsune-san?" asked Souji. Where was she going?

"I will be back shortly. I need to stop Hijikata-san from making something that will kill everyone." Tsune-san said right before she left the room. Souji let out a bark-like laugh after she left.

"Well, I see why you rather skip breakfast now." I said as I managed a tired laugh. "Why couldn't he just leave the cooking to Chizuru-chan?"

"Who knows?"

"But still, don't you want to stand up and stretch a— Ohh…" Another contraction was starting.

I really couldn't wait for all of this to be over. The contractions hurt and it wasn't even time to start pushing yet. When my contractions started getting really painful, I had thought about calling Chizuru-chan in to give me an epidural but the more I thought about it the less inclined I was to get one. Manufacturing the drug for an epidural was time consuming and material extensive and I kind of felt like using it on something women did since the dawn of time would be a waste. Women gave birth all the time without pain medication. It would be best to save the drug for times when it was really needed. Unfortunately that decision to give birth without pain medication was painful, literally.

"Ah, wait! Tamako-chan you shouldn't go in there!" I heard Sano-san's voice from outside the room while waiting for my most recent contraction to pass. The door opened and Tamako-chan toddled into the room.

"Nee-san! Nee-san!" Tamako-chan babbled cutely as she ran towards me. Sano-san quickly came into the room to scoop her up before she reached where I was laying. "No! Down! Bad! Tama don't want up!"

"Tamako-chan, when I say you shouldn't go in, I mean don't go in." Sano-san lightly scolded Tamako-chan before he turned to me and Souji. "Sorry about that, but Tamako-chan really wanted to see you, Shizuka."

I nodded silently as I gripped the blankets in pain. Souji answered for me when I couldn't. "It's fine. She only wanted to see her onee-san but right now Shizuka's in the middle of a contraction."

"Nee-san?" Tamako-chan asked again when I didn't answer her. She stopped struggling in Sano-san's arms as she looked at me in confusion. Usually I would answer her right away.

Souji sat up behind me and rubbed my side before speaking to Sano-san again. "Hey, I have an idea. Put Tamako-chan down and let her go to Shizuka."

"Huh?" asked Sano-san. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Tamako-chan toddled slowly toward me once Sano-san placed her back on the floor, despite trying to run towards me a bit earlier. She stopped to crouch down right in front of my face and stared at me while looking a bit upset.

"Nee-san hurt?" she asked cutely in her own babyish way.

"Onee-san is about to have her baby." I managed to explain as soon as the contraction passed. "Giving birth always hurts."

"Hurts?" she asked again.

"Hurts." I confirmed.

After I answered her, she stood up and ran towards the door as fast as her little legs could carry her. She tripped once on the way out and landed on her stomach, but she got back up without crying and continued towards the door. Once she exited the room, she was outside for a couple of seconds before she ran back into the room with a dandelion in her hands. She quickly ran towards me and offered the small yellow flower in her hands to me.

"Make ouchie go away." she said seriously as she held the flower out to me, causing me to smile.

"Thank you, Tamako-chan." I said as I took the flower from her hand. "This will definitely make the ouchie go away."

Tamako-chan looked proud at what she did. She quickly took the flower from my hand and wrapped it around one of my fingers like a ring. Afterwards she ran back to Sano-san and lifted her arms up at him in an up motion. She was incredibly intelligent and talkative for someone who was a little less than two years old.

"Alright." Sano-san said as he scooped Tamako-chan up again. "Hang in there, Shizuka. You're doing great."

"Great! Great!" Tamako-chan repeated after him.

Sano-san chuckled at Tamako-chan's energy. "Come on, Tamako-chan, let's go find Saito."

"Scarf-nii! Scarf-nii!" she babbled again as Sano-san took her out of the room.

When they both left the room, Souji laid back down behind me and rubbed my belly gently in a circular motion. "Just hold on. You can start pushing in a few hours." he said before kissed my cheek.

Three hours later I entered the transition phase of labor, meaning it was time to push. If I had thought that labor hurt before this then I have no words to describe the kind of pain I had now, except with the single word burn. There were always people talking about the supposed "ring of fire" women experienced when it came time to push the baby out. I had no idea how true it was until I experienced it myself. But in all honesty, why wouldn't it burn. It was really like trying to push a watermelon through a bottleneck.

"Okay, Souji-kun, I need you to roll Shizuka-chan on to her back and to prop her up so I can check how far along she is." Tsune-san said as she moved to where my legs were. As soon as Souji did what he was told, Tsune-san spread my legs and reached in between them to check how dilated my cervix was.

"Ah!" I cried in pain and suppressed the urge to clamp my legs back together as Tsune-san's hands invaded my lower regions. Having fingers stuck inside of me was NOT something that felt good or something that I wanted right now. Along with the burning sensation I was experiencing, my contractions were extremely painful now and so close together that they overlapped sometimes.

"You're ready and you can start pushing now." Tsune-san informed me as she withdrew her fingers and wiped them. "When you feel your next contraction, start pushing."

"Oh, thank God." I panted, causing Souji to chuckle quietly. I seriously couldn't wait to get the baby out of me.

"Almost there. Time to bring our child into the world." Souji said as he took the small dried seahorse out of my hand and placed it on the floor so I could grab his hands instead.

"Okay, get ready." Tsune-san said. "One, two, three, push."

I sucked in a sharp breath before I focused all of my strength on pushing the baby out. As much as I wanted to scream, I suppressed it and focused on pushing. It was considered shameful for a woman to make lots of noise and expressions of pain during labor anyways. A woman was supposed to deal with her labor in a stoic manner. Plus, screaming took energy and I wanted to focus all of my energy on pushing.

"Okay, stop." Tsune-san said as she checked my progress again quickly. "Remember you need to breathe."

"Oh…" I moaned quietly and turned my face to the side so I could rest my cheek against Souji's chest.

"You're doing fine." Souji encouraged me as he gave my hands a light squeeze. "Get ready, it's almost time to push again."

"Again. One, two, three, push!" Tsune-san said once again. "Keep going. I can already see the top of the baby's head."

"Ah!" I let out a small cry of pain. It burned like nobody's business.

"Come on, you can do this." Souji encouraged me more.

"Easy for you to say." I panted with dry humor between pushes. "It's not like you can feel the burning. You're giving birth to the next one."

"I would, but you see, I'm afraid I don't have the right parts." Souji joked right back before he kissed the top of my sweaty head.

"Ohh…" I moaned once more as I pushed again.

Despite it burning when I pushed, I also felt a sense of great relief. In fact, it felt good to push. This was the body's way of encouraging mothers in labor to push because it would really suck for it hurt more to push. If that was the case then I bet that more women would have given up in the middle of pushing.

"Good. The head is out!" Tsune-san said with delight. "If you look down, you can see your baby's head."

Even though I could only see the baby's head right now, I could already tell the baby was going to look exactly like Souji. The baby's hair was clearly from Souji and its facial structure was from Souji too. I couldn't tell what eye color the baby had yet because the baby's eyes were still closed, but I had no doubt that they were going to be a bright emerald green too. As far as I could tell, the baby didn't seem to have inherited a single physical trait from me.

"Ohhh…" I groaned quietly in pain as I relaxed my pushing to get ready for the next push. "The baby's face already looks like yours and I'm sure the rest of the baby will look like you too, even if the baby isn't completely out of me yet." I panted to Souji.

"Well that's to be expected." Souji said a tad bit snobbishly with a teasing grin. "With such a good looking chichi, he'd be smart to take after me."

"Okay, the next push will be the most painful one since you are at the baby's shoulders. Get ready. One, two, three, push."

I sucked in a breath and pushed while squeezing Souji's hands painfully. Oh, Tsune-san was right, it bloody hurt! Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, OW! Souji squeezed my hand back with equal force to help me bear down on the pain.

"Ahh!" I squeaked as a small scream of pain managed to escape my lips.

"Keep pushing, you're almost there." Tsune-san updated me on my progress.

"Oh…" I panted when I stopped pushing to get ready for my next push.

"The baby's almost out. One last push." Tsune-san said.

"Almost there." Souji said. "Just one last push. Just one more time."

"Okay, one last time. One, two, three, push!"

Gathering my strength one last time, I gave one final push and I felt nothing but relief when I felt the baby completely leave the birth canal. The baby was finally out! After the baby was out, Tsune-san quickly cleaned off the baby and removed the mucus from its nostrils and mouth. As soon as the excess mucus was removed, the baby burst out crying, revealing to us its healthy set of powerful lungs. Smiling and even a little bit teary, Tsune-san quickly handed me my baby.

"Congratulations, it's a boy!" Tsune-san said as she deposited the baby against my chest before she went to go cut the umbilical cord.

"A boy…" Souji repeated breathily in awe as he looked over my shoulder at his son. Now that I could see the rest of my son's body, I could definitely tell that he would grow up to look exactly like Souji. His frame was exactly like Souji's and his eyes were green for sure.

"Shhh." I maternally whispered to my son while feeling a bit teary myself. "Okaa-san's got you. Don't cry."

"Souji-kun, I need you push down part of Shizuka-chan's sleeping robe to reveal a breast. We're going to see if we can get the baby to latch on now." Tsune-san said as she put down the aohie[5] she used to cut the cord.

"Now?" Souji asked in surprise over the loud crying. "Our son was just born a few minutes ago and he's already hungry?"

"Yes, now, this is to check to see how well your son will latch on so we can make sure he will not have trouble eating later. He will most likely not be interested in eating right now. Most newborns are not interested in eating for the first half hour."

"Okay." Souji said as he complied with Tsune-san's instructions and pushed down the left side of my robe to reveal my left breast.

"Okay. Now, Shizuka-chan, I want you to hold your son to your breast. Don't guide him to your nipple, but let him feel around for it."

Following Tsune-san's instructions, I held my son near my breast. When I did that, the baby leaned forward towards my breast while crying and…completely missed the nipple. Tsune-san helped me readjust my hold on him and when he went towards my breast again, his mouth landed on my nipple and he immediately latched on without any problem and he stopped crying in order to start sucking.

"Well, it looks like he was hungry." Souji said as he observed his son latch on and start sucking.

"And he has quite the healthy appetite." I added as I felt him suck with more power than I anticipated. Despite just being born, he already had a lot of strength. "So do you have a name yet?" I asked Souji. "I believed I said that if the baby was a boy then you get to name him what you wanted."

"Ryota." Souji said after a moment of silence.

"Oh? Not Soujiro?" I asked with a small tired smile.

"I was joking when I said that." Souji said wryly. "But now that you mentioned it, 'Soujiro' isn't a bad name. I'll just save it for our next child."

"Even if our next child is a girl?"

"Eh, she'll learn to love it." Souji said as his small smile became a large grin. "But seriously, what do you think of the name Ryota?"

"I think it fits." I said as I looked down lovingly at my son. Ryota meant strong and our son was definitely a strong baby.

"Ryota is a fine name." Tsune-san said before she went back down to where my legs were. "Okay, in a couple of minutes you should start to feel some pressure, but do not worry. That is just the placenta coming out. When the placenta comes out, I will place it in the oshi-oki[6] so Souji-kun can take it out to bury it later."

Souji nodded at Tsune-san before he placed his arms under my ams to help me support Ryota as Ryota nursed. Souji then kissed me before he rested his chin on my shoulder affectionately so he would watch his son continue to nurse in silence. I had never seen Souji look so much at peace with himself or this happy before this. The three of us rested together contently for the first time as a family. Okita Ryota was born on October 5, 1864 in the Hour of the Ram after twelve hours of painful labor. Labor was excruciating, but the pain was worth it for this quiet moment of pure bliss.

* * *

[1] The Asian conical hat, sedge hat, rice hat, paddy hat, bamboo hat, and sometimes coolie hat, is a simple style of conical hat originating in East, South, and Southeast Asia, particularly China, Cambodia, Indonesia, Japan, Korea, Philippines, India, Bangladesh, and Vietnam. In Japan, the hat is called sugegasa (菅笠).

[2] Lindsey, William Robert. _Fertility and Pleasure: Ritual and Sexual Values in Tokugawa Japan_. n.p.: ProQuest, UMI Dissertations Publishing, 2003.

[3] Lindsey, William Robert. _Fertility and Pleasure: Ritual and Sexual Values in Tokugawa Japan_. n.p.: ProQuest, UMI Dissertations Publishing, 2003.

[4] Tonomura, Hitomi. "Birth-giving and Avoidance Taboo: Women's Body versus the Historiography of Ubuya." _Japan Review_ 19 (2007): 25. Web. 15 Feb. 2015.

[5] The umbilical cord cutter.

[6] The pail the placenta is placed in after birth.


	64. Chapter 64

**Chapter 64**

"I also believe that parents, if they love you, will hold you up safely, above their swirling waters, and sometimes that means you'll never know what they endured, and you may treat them unkindly, in a way you otherwise wouldn't." ― Mitch Albom, For One More Day

"Souji, are you sure you should be here?" I asked Souji as I sat on my futon. Souji was laying his on stomach on the floor next to his sleeping son. Ryota was swaddled and placed on a separate futon next to mine without a blanket to prevent SIDS[1] from occurring.

Two days after I had given birth, Souji returned to his duty as a captain, but he was doing the bare minimum he was required to. As soon as his duties as captain was done for the day, hour, or whatever, he would rush back to the birthing room where Ryota and I were staying and spend the rest of his time there. I was glad he was so attentive to us, but with so many captains in Edo right now, Souji should have been spending more time helping the other captains.

"It's fine. Hijikata-san gave me more time off." Souji said with a smile has he gently placed his hand on Ryota's stomach. "He told me that I should be spending more time with my family."

That Hijikata-san. Of course he would swamp himself with more work just to see Souji happy. I was glad Hijikata-san was thinking about us so much, but he needed to take care of himself more. If he needed help then he should have been able to call on Souji to ease up the workload. Maybe I could help him with his paperwork once I'm allowed to leave this room.

"Shizuka-chan." Tsune-san called quietly, mindful of the sleeping baby, through the closed door. "Are you awake? I have your lunch."

"Lunch! Lunch!" I then heard Tamako-chan repeat after her mother. She must have been following Tsune-san around.

"I'm awake." I answered back. Tsune-san opened the door quietly and before she entered the room, Tamako-chan ran in and happily threw herself over my lap. I smiled at Tamako-chan and placed a hand on her back while she giggled merrily.

"I made you some porridge for lunch." Tsune-san said with a gentle smile as she entered the door. She closed the door behind her before she came to sit at my side and placed the tray of food beside her. "Tamako-chan, you need to get off of Onee-san's lap so she can eat."

Tamako-chan stood up and nodded at her mother before she ran over to where Souji was. She toddled up behind Souji and placed her hands on his side so she could look over him to stare at her sleeping nephew with quiet curiosity. Tsune-san quietly laughed at Tamako-chan's actions before she placed the tray of food over my lap.

"Thank you. Itadakimasu." I said before I started to eat. The porridge that Tsune-san made was always the best. She always knew exactly what I was in the mood to eat.

"So have you used the restroom yet?" Tsune asked as I swallowed a spoonful of porridge.

"No, but I tried." I paused to answer before I resumed eating.

One of the things people never really talked about was using the restroom after childbirth. In fact, most people never really talked about postpartum care. It was usually, "congratulations for the new baby and don't leave the birthing room until the kegare is all gone" and that was it. There no, "Oh! You should expect this after childbirth!" That really needed to be fixed because other than dealing with a tiny, needy human being, there were other issues a new mother should know to expect.

After childbirth, the main problem with using the restroom was extreme constipation, and not to mention it burned to pee, even if my vagina didn't tear during childbirth. In the modern day, the extreme constipation was pretty easy to solve. Before the new mother would leave the hospital, she would be provided with a stool softener. I unfortunately did not have access to any stool softeners so I had to make due with lots of fiber.

Another thing I would have wanted to be told, even if it was obvious, was that my lower regions would be really swollen after birth and would remain swollen for the next few days. Just because I was done with pregnancy did not mean the swelling that came with pregnancy would instantly go away. My feet were still a bit swollen. They were better than before, but still swollen. My abdomen was still pretty big too. After birth, my uterus had increased in size during the pregnancy did not instantly shrink back down to its original size from before the pregnancy. It would take time for the uterus to shrink, so for the meanwhile, I still looked like I was five months pregnant. The amount of time I needed to wait for my uterus to shrink back down to its pre-pregnancy size would be about four weeks, and if I wanted to regain my original shape from before pregnancy then I needed to exercise regularly too. Thankfully, I didn't have any stretch marks to deal with.

Another thing about postpartum care was dealing with the blood. Even if the baby was born smoothly with no complications and no tears to the vagina, there was still going to be a lot of blood. So where does all this blood come from? It comes from when the placenta separates from the uterus. When the placenta separates from the uterus, there are open blood vessels in the area where it was attached, and they begin to bleed into the uterus. After the placenta is delivered, the uterus will continue to contract, which closes off those blood vessels, dramatically reducing the bleeding. Thankfully the body is well prepared for the blood loss because during pregnancy, the amount of blood in a woman rises about 50%. But there are some occasions the uterus does not contract well after delivery, resulting in excessive blood loss called postpartum hemorrhage, which is life-threatening if not immediately resolved.

So this blood leaves as a form of vaginal discharge known as lochia. Other than the blood, the lochia consisted of sloughed-off tissue from the lining of the uterus and bacteria. For the first few days after birth, the lochia contains a fair amount of blood, so it will look bright red and will look like a heavy menstrual period. It may come out intermittently in small gushes or flow more evenly. Mine was coming out in an even flow.

If everything was going to proceed normally without complications, I would have a bit less discharge with each passing day and the discharge would also lighten in color as the amount of blood in the lochia decreased. This was going to continue for a few weeks after pregnancy and was much messier than a period because while a period lasted about five days and I was going to be leaking lochia for a few weeks.

Speaking of leaking. After my breastmilk came in this morning, I started to leak more, which also signaled to me that my body was producing quite a lot of milk. All that leaking was unpleasant, but that large amount of milk turned out to be a good thing. It turned out that Ryota ate a lot. He was pretty regular so far and woke up every three hours to eat and when he ate it was always in large amounts. I would often have to switch breasts during the middle of nursing him just because one side would run low before he was finished eating. Because of how much he ate, I probably did not have to worry too much about dealing with engorgement in the future.

But despite all the inconvenience of the body after childbirth, I was pretty happy. To combat all the negative feelings of inconvenience, the body produced even more hormones. My new baby plus the extra hormones were enough to make me ignore my bodily issues and make me stupidly happy. There was a reason most mothers were elated after birth if they didn't have to deal with postpartum depression.

"Well, hopefully lunch will have enough fiber to make using the restroom a bit smoother." replied Tsune-san. "Eat up."

I smiled at Tsune-san and began eating my meal. As I began eating, Ryota who was asleep a bit earlier started wiggling around and whining. Souji responded immediately by sitting up and picking him up.

"Already hungry again?" Souji cooed at Ryota while lightly rocking him. "Why don't I change you first to give Okaa-san enough time to eat lunch?"

"You remember how to change him, right?" Tsune-san asked.

"Yeah." Souji replied as he continued rocking Ryota gently.

"Alright, let me go get a fresh cloth for Ryota-chan." Tsune-san said as she stood up to go retrieve a white cloth from the cabinet in the corner of the room. Seeing her mother stand up, Tamako-chan quickly left Souji's side to run after her mother. Tsune-san went to Souji's side after she got the cloth that would act as a diaper and started to help Souji change Ryota.

While Tsune-san helped Souji get Ryota changed, I quickly ate as fast as I could. I needed to feed Ryota as soon as I was done with lunch, especially because he got extremely fussy when he needed to wait to eat.

"Here, let me do that, Tsune-san." Souji said off to the side as he quickly took over changing Ryota.

Souji was always eager to take care of our son and did everything he could without complaining. When Souji was done changing our son, Souji picked him up once again and kept him distracted by cooing at him to give me more time to finish my meal. When Ryota started whining more and pushing his face towards Souji's chest, I knew that Ryota had enough and wanted to eat right away.

"I can't help you there. Just wait a little longer for Okaa-san, okay?" Souji said with a chuckle when he realized that his son was looking for a nipple. Souji rocked him some more while waiting for me to finish eating lunch.

"Okay, I'm done." I said as I picked up the empty tray and placed it off to the side before I began loosening the top of my sleeping robe to expose a breast.

As if Ryota could sense that feeding time was near, he began whining louder as he feverishly wiggled in Souji's arms. Souji grinned at the amount of energy that our son was showing off before he passed our son to me. Tsune-san smiled at Souji and me before she picked up the empty tray and left the room with Tamako-chan running after her.

"Okay, calm down. It's time to eat." I cooed at Ryota before I directed him towards my breast. He stopped wiggling once he latched on and began sucking in a matter of seconds. As soon as Ryota latched on, Souji went to go sit behind me so I could lean back against him while nursing our son.

"Hungry, isn't he?" Souji said fondly as he reached around me to touch Ryota's hand. As soon as Souji's finger touched the palm of Ryota's hand, Ryota immediately curled his fingers around the finger and held on.

"Yes. He eats a lot every time it's time to nurse." I said while watching our son eat. "At first I was annoyed that I was leaking so much because I was producing so much milk, but now I'm a bit worried I might not have enough."

"Don't worry. I'm sure you will." Souji reassured me as he rested his face against mine while looking over my shoulder at our son.

"Hey, Souji?"

"Yeah?"

"How is Sannan-san these days?" I asked. "I usually check up on him every day, but with the past few days…"

"You've been busy, and forbidden to leave this room." Souji finished wryly as he nuzzled my cheek. "As for Sannan-san, well, he's spending less and less time socializing with everyone, not that he was very talkative to begin with, but it's becoming worrisome. His dark side is also starting to show through more. The foot soldiers are now even too scared to approach him."

"It's his arm." I sighed dejectedly. "Sannan-san is first and foremost a swordsman and now that he's unable to wield his sword now that his arm has sustained a nerve injury, he's feeling like he lost his purpose."

Souji fell silent after that. After everything that Souji had went through when we first arrived in Kyoto, perhaps he was the one who could understand Sannan-san the most right now. It was a painful feeling to feel useless and disposable. If Souji was the one who could best understand Sannan-san right now then perhaps it was best for Souji to be the one to keep an eye on Sannan-san.

"Souji?"

"Hmm?" he said as he pulled his finger from his son's hand so he could lovingly stroke his son's cheek.

"I'm worried Sannan-san is considering drinking the Water of Life to restore his arm."

"But didn't you say that you can operate to restore his arm?"

"I did, but Sannan-san is growing impatient. I'm not done with the research yet and I don't have the right equipment yet. Sannan-san might decide that he doesn't want to wait anymore and go ahead and drink the Water of Life without informing everyone first."

"So you want me to watch Sannan-san?" asked Souji as he retracted his hand so he could put his arms under mine.

"Keep him distracted long enough to give me time to get the resources I need to perform his nerve graft. I don't want anyone drinking the Water of Life."

Souji sighed once more. "I'll see what I can do, but Sannan-san isn't so blind that he wouldn't notice me keeping an eye on him. He'll be upset enough to have some not so nice words for you."

"I know." I said as I shifted Ryota so that I could switch him over to my other breast. "But right now, my main focus is to prevent him from foolishly taking the Water of Life. He can be upset with me all he wants."

* * *

"Shizuka, are you awake?" Hijikata-san called in through the door later in the evening. It was Souji's turn to help prepare dinner for everyone, so I was alone in the room with Ryota.

"I am. You can come in if you want." I answered quietly as I stared down at my son while rocking him. He had just finished eating not too long ago and was dozing off now.

Hijikata-san entered the room and closed the door behind him before coming to sit at my side.

"So, you've decided to come to visit?" I asked playfully. "You're not afraid of being infected by the massive amount of kegare that's in the room right now?"

"Kegare? I thought you didn't believe in things like that." Hijikata-san scoffed with a smile.

"Oh, I don't believe in it, but other people do." I answered pointedly. "Like yourself, maybe?"

"Well, I'll just do that purifying ritual crap Souji does every time he leaves the room." Hijikata-san fired back.

Wait…purifying ritual? What was that and how come I didn't know about it? If I could do one lousy ritual to supposedly "cleanse" myself of the kegare then I would have done that long ago. If I could just get rid of the kegare that supposedly clung onto me from childbirth then that meant I could go outside. Sure, I may have just given birth two days ago and was still tired and recovering, but I wanted to go out and walk around a bit. Being chained to the same room for days really sucked. Besides, it was important to get up and walk right after giving birth.

"No, the ritual doesn't work for the woman that gave birth." Hijikata-san cut me off before I could speak. "You and your son will have to wait the allotted thirty-two days before you can exit this room for the outside world."

"Boo." I pouted childishly. Hijikata-san chuckled at my reaction before he leaned in closer so he could get a look at my son.

"Huh…he looks exactly like Souji." he remarked once he got a good look.

"Want to hold him?" I asked with a small smile on my face as I held Ryota out to Hijikata-san.

"W-Wait!" Hijikata-san instantly stammered and scooted backwards in a panic. "D-Don't just suddenly hand me your baby!"

"Oh come on. I promise he doesn't bite, at least not yet." I said as I stared at Hijikata-san expectantly. "Come and hold him for a little bit. Besides, it would help me if you held him for me for a little while. My sleeping robe is chafing my breasts uncomfortably right now and it would be nice if you could free up my hands so I can readjust my clothing."

To be completely honest, my clothing was not chafing me at all. I just wanted Hijikata-san to hold Ryota for a little while and maybe bond a little. Hijikata-san was always like an older brother to me and I wanted him to be involved in Ryota's life as much as he was involved in mine. What was he so scared of? It's not like Hijikata-san would drop Ryota, Hijikata-san's not clumsy enough.

"F-Fine." Hijikata-san yielded with a light blush as he scooted forwards again to carefully take Ryota from me. After taking Ryota, Hijikata-san looked at me expectantly.

"What?" I asked while staring back at Hijikata-san.

"Well? Weren't you going to…you know, readjust your clothing?" he said with a small cough before looking away.

"Oh, that?" I said bluntly. "I lied. I just wanted you to hold Ryota."

Hijikata-san's eyebrow twitched in irritation at my answer as his head shot back up so he could glare at me. "You…"

"I don't understand. What's so bad about holding my son?" I asked while putting on a fake, hurt look. "How do you not like him already? This is the first time you've met him."

"W-What?!" Hijikata-san panicked immediately once more as he was fooled by my acting. "I-It's not that I don't like him! It's just I feel like I'm holding my own executioner! If your son is going to grow up anything like Souji, then I'm doomed!" Hijikata-san exclaimed while shuttering before he mumbled, "I already helped Kondou-san raise Souji. I can't handle another Souji… I can still taste the ink that Souji poured into my tea from back when he was thirteen…"

"Oh?" I said smugly, gleeful I got Hijikata-san to spill his inner thoughts.

"You tricked me didn't you?" Hijikata-san muttered when he saw my smug expression.

"Yes. Yes, I did." I answered plainly before I held my arms out to signal to Hijikata-san to pass Ryota back to me. Hijikata-san passed Ryota back to me while giving me the stink eye. "Don't worry so much about it. Don't forget that Souji isn't the only one that's going to be raising Ryota. I am his okaa-san so I'll be playing my part in raising him too."

"That doesn't make me feel any better."

"Hey!" I exclaimed in offence.

"Well, I'm sure you'll be a great mother." Hijikata-san said after he laughed at my expense. "But other than coming here to visit you and Ryota, I came here to drop off a small package."

"A package?" I asked curiously. "From who? From Kyoko-chan and Kenji-san? Oh! Gimme, gimme!" I exclaimed like an excited child.

Right before I gave birth I ordered a specialized set of surgical scalpels blades from those two and I wanted my new pointy toys. The new scalpel blades were known in the modern day as the No. 11 blades. They were elongated triangular blades that were sharpened along the hypotenuse edge. They had strong pointed tips, making them ideal for stab incisions and precise short cuts in shallow recessed areas. These blades were typically used in various procedures, such as the creation of incisions for chest tubes and drains, opening major blood vessels for catheter insertion, removing the mop ends of torn cruciate ligaments, and for meniscectomy. All of the surgical procedures I had completed up to this point were all done with a traditional No.10 blade, and as nerdy as it may sound, getting a new type of blade to perform surgeries with made me really excited.

"Not quite." Hijikata-san said as he laughed at my enthusiasm as he pulled the small brown package from his sleeve and waved it in front of me before he placed it on the floor. "It's from Mitsu. I'll put Ryota to bed so you can open the package and read the letter that came with it."

"Okay." I said as rocked Ryota a little more.

Ryota wiggled and whined tiredly once more before he closed his eyes and completely drifted off into sleep. After I was sure Ryota was asleep, I lightly kissed his forehead before I passed him to Hijikata-san. Hijikata-san then gently placed my son on the small futon next to mine before he picked up the package again and gave it to me.

The first thing that I pulled out from the package after I opened it was a small bundle of pretty, but pricy, pastel-colored silk ribbons. The next thing I pulled out of the package was a folded up letter, with elegant handwriting on the outside, addressing the letter to me. Placing the small bundle of ribbons on my lab, I quickly unfolded the letter and afterwards began reading.

_October 2, 1684_

_Imōto-chan (I have always wanted to call you that ever since you and Souji got married),_

_How have you been fairing? I do not know if this letter will reach you before you give birth since you should be approaching your due date, but I will still wish you a fast and safe delivery. Instead of sending you a letter, I wished that I could have traveled to Kyoto instead to help you with the delivery and the postpartum care, but as you know, I cannot because I am pregnant myself. However, just because I am pregnant does not mean that I cannot offer you any help. One thing I have learned from raising my first two children is that after the baby is born you will not have time to make yourself look presentable. The constant lack of sleep and the baby's need to nurse will sap you of all your energy and as much as you will want to look nice for Souji and everyone else, you will be too tired to. The biggest offender as an obstacle that will prevent you from looking presentable will be your hair._

_One thing I learned is that a nice ribbon to tie your hair up in a low side ponytail will make a world of a difference. It will keep the hair out of your face when you are too tired and busy to put your hair up in its regular style and it will prevent your hair from becoming more tangled. Another plus is that a low side ponytail looks pretty cute. I know my lack of a presentable appearance right after childbirth always irked me the most and if it is something that irritates you too, then the ribbons that came with this letter will help._

_When Souji arrived in Edo to come visit me for the first time since leaving home, I was so overjoyed that I broke into tears. And did you know that Souji panicked when he saw me crying? He's become such a gentleman since I last saw him and I'm sure you contributed to the formation of his gentleman-like behavior. I know that the only reason that he even came to visit me is because you spoke to him about me. You will forever have my gratitude. As for you not responding to my previous letters, Souji explained to me why as soon as he manage to calm me down and stop my tears. He was afraid that I would blame you and hate you after gaining the misconception that it was your fault he had refused to have contact with me. It was sweet of Souji to explain right away, but I know it wasn't your fault. I have raised Souji for many years after our parents died and I know him well. I knew right away it was his influence that prevented you from writing back and you are not at fault. While I should hold a small grudge against you for not replying to my previous letters, I cannot. I know the only reason you did not respond to my letters is because you wanted to respect Souji's wishes and because you did not want to add more to the pain I caused him. I am grateful instead that you respected Souji's wishes. Knowing that you did not respond to my letters because you cared so much for Souji that you could not bear to hurt him puts me at ease. It lets me know how wonderful of a wife you are to Souji. It also helps that Souji could not stop talking about you while he was here. Rintarō also spoke quite a lot about you despite the fact he has only been around you for less than two full days. Do not worry, both of them only said good things about you. It is no secret that Souji is absolutely smitten with you. Thank you for taking care of him._

_As for your nephew and niece, they were very happy and excited to finally meet their uncle and they are eager to meet you too. Once you and Souji are able to travel, please come to visit us. Your nephew, Yoshijiro is eleven this year and his little sister, Ishi, is nine and they want to meet you very badly after meeting Souji. I will pray for the safe delivery of your child and your swift recovery. Oh! Tell Souji I said "hi" and "write me"!_

_From your beloved sister-in-law,_

_Mitsu (Please just call me Ane-ue in the future)_

After I finished reading the letter and looked up, I saw Hijikata-san smiling at me.

"What?" I asked when I was unable to decipher his smile.

"You were smiling when you were reading that letter." Hijikata-san explained. "It was cute."

…Did Hijikata-san have a fever right now? Did he hit his head? He never called anything cute, at least out loud. Did something I was completely unaware of happen earlier? Seriously, Hijikata-san never called anything cute. He was always much too serious to call anything cute.

"Oi! What is it now?" Hijikata-san said exasperatedly when I fell silent and stared at him blankly.

"Are you feeling alright? Do you have a fever?" I said, flabbergasted. "You never call anybody or anything cute."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Hijikata-san all but yelled in irritation, causing Ryota to wake up and whine pitifully. I quickly reached over to pick him up so I could rock him again before he erupted into a full-blown cry. After I got him to calm down a bit, I shot Hijikata-san an irritated look.

"Did you have to yell?" I asked unhappily.

"Sorry. Sorry." Hijikata-san quickly apologized quietly. "I forgot he was sleeping. But it's possible for me to think things are cute, I just never say it out loud."

"So are you going to tell me what happened earlier that made it possible for you to say the word 'cute' out loud?"

"Chizuru walked into a wall earlier on accident and she was incredibly flustered afterwards. I thought that it was cute, but because I didn't say anything earlier my opinion is now leaking out against my will." Hijikata-san admitted quietly before exclaiming loudly, "Wait, why the hell am I telling you?! How the hell do you always know the right buttons to push?!"

Of course the unavoidable happened and Ryota burst into a full screaming cry after being disturb for the second time within ten minutes. After a few seconds of Ryota's crying the door slammed open to reveal a pissed off dad.

"Why the hell is my kid crying so loudly that I can hear him down in the kitchen?" Souji demanded as he glared at Hijikata-san. "Hijikata-san, care to tell me why I heard you yelling before I heard my son burst out into tears?"

As I tried to comfort Ryota while Souji was tearing into Hijikata-san, I could not help but notice how heartwarming it was to see Souji care so much about his son's well-being. I thought this trait in Souji was very attractive. Of course, when Souji hears about this later, his ego will inflate to an unbearable size, but luckily for him, I thought he was attractive when he had a massive inflated ego too. I liked his cockiness. I thought it was endearing in a sort of strange way.

* * *

"So is anything important going on right now?" I asked as Souji was patting Ryota on the back to burp him while bouncing him up and down. It was now October 27th, a few weeks after I had given birth and I was recovering well. I just needed to wait ten more days before I was allowed to leave the room.

"Not too much." Souji answered. "The town has been pretty quiet since the Hamaguri Gate Rebellion, but at the same time, this is how we know the Choshu are probably planning their next move. Sannan-san is still the same, although a bit more annoyed since we're watching him more closely. There are still no clues regarding Chizuru-chan's otou-san, and Kondou-san still isn't back from Edo, but he did leave Edo on the 15th, so there's a good chance he might be back today."

I perked up when I heard Otou-san might arrive back today. Otou-san had been gone since before I gave birth and before Tsune-san and Tamako-chan arrived. I knew he would be excited when he arrived back at headquarters. He would be returning to his wife and young daughter, plus his first grandchild. There was a lot to be happy and excited about.

Souji continued to pat Ryota's back until Ryota spit up a little milk and burped. Thankfully, Souji had learned that babies almost always spit up after eating and threw a towel over his shoulder before he began to pat Ryota on the back to catch the spit up. Souji had a rather steep learning curve for infant care as a new father. He seemed very eager to be an involved father in his son's life.

"You know, I've always wondered why babies spit up so much." Souji said as he handed Ryota back to me so he could go dispose of the towel by dropping it in the laundry hamper, which, by the way, was filled with towels that were covered in spit up. "Care to enlighten me?"

"Hmm? Oh, it's quite normal for babies." I explained as I passed Ryota back to Souji after he disposed of the dirty towel and sat down next to me on the futon. "When babies drink milk, air gets trapped in the liquid and the air has to come up, and when it does, some of the milk comes up too."

"Huh, so that's why." Souji remarked as he looked down at Ryota, who was staring back up at Souji while wiggling around and making random noises. "So is he going to stop doing that any time soon? It looks really uncomfortable to spit up milk after every feeding session."

"He'll probably stop spitting up so much around six months and he'll most likely stop completely around twelve months. So until then, lots of dirty laundry." I answered as I poked Ryota's palm with my pinkie. The moment my pinkie touched his hand, his fingers wrapped around my finger causing me to giggle happily. "Time to sleep again." I cooed at Ryota.

Ryota just made more random noises before tugging on my pinkie after I spoke. Instead of quickly drifting off into sleep like he normally did after he finished eating, he just wiggled around energetically while staring at me at Souji.

"Doesn't look like he wants to right now." Souji chuckled as he started rocking and cooing at Ryota. "You should listen to Okaa-san and go to sleep now. Growing babies need to sleep a lot to grow." But that didn't do any good, Ryota just wiggled more while babbling in his baby talk.

"Hmm…" I said before remarking offhandedly after staring into Ryota's eyes for a short while, "He's lucky he has green eyes. They certainly add to his already charming appearance."

"You mean my eyes?" asked Souji as he raised an eyebrow at me before looking back down at his son. "I kind of wished that he inherited your blue eyes instead, though. I mean, it's nice and all that he looks so much like me, but I would have liked to see some of your traits in him as well."

"Really? I personally like how he looks like a miniature copy of you. Oh! Maybe he'll inherit your personality too!" I said excitedly.

"My personality? Why my personality? What's so great about my personality?"

"Well, it's charming, for one, and two, it's also what I fell in love with. You shouldn't sell yourself short." I said before pecking Souji on the cheek. Of course, after I said that, his ego became even more inflated.

"Well then, if inheriting my personality will give him an edge on finding a good wife in the future, why not?" Souji said as he puffed himself up and started to resemble an overstuffed turkey.

Stomp, stomp, stomp!

Souji and I suddenly heard from outside shortly after our little conversation followed by the happy squealing of Tamako-chan. I looked at Souji inquisitively, but all he offered back was a confused shrug.

"Faster, faster!" we heard Tamako-chan shriek happily from outside as the stomping came closer to the room.

Speak of the devil, when the door slammed open, Otou-san, who we were just talking about returning back today, was standing there with a giant grin on his face and with Tamako-chan sitting on his shoulders. It looked like he had just arrived at headquarters. The straw traveling hat was no longer sitting on his head but on Tamako-chan's head as she sat on Otou-san's shoulders and Otou-san's luggage was still strapped on to his back. He hadn't even had the chance to put his luggage away yet. He most likely ran here as soon as he arrived at headquarters.

"Isami-san," Tsune-san scolded as she gracefully approached Otou-san from behind, "you should have put away your luggage first."

"Ah, sorry, sorry!" Otou-san apologized to Tsune-san sheepishly before he stepped into the room while smiling stupidly. He was too happy to care about appearances right now. "I was just so excited. So where's my grandson?"

"Ryo! Ryo!" Tamako-chan chanted happily as Otou-san picked her up and eased her off his shoulders. When she was set on the ground, she ran towards Souji and me. She then placed her hands on Souji's knee so she could lean in and look at Ryota.

Tsune-san smiled at Tamako-chan's and Otou-san's enthusiasm before she ushered Otou-san closer to where Souji and I were seated.

"Kondou-san." Souji greeted Otou-san happily before he presented Ryota to Otou-san.

"Hahaha!" Otou-san laughed boisterously when he caught a glimpse of Ryota. "He's definitely Souji son for sure! He looks exactly like you, Souji! Can I hold him?"

"Sure." Souji said as he happily held out Ryota to Otou-san after I pulled my pinkie out of Ryota's grasp. Otou-san then carefully took Ryota out of Souji's arms and cradled Ryota close to his chest. Both men looked like they were sitting on cloud nine. Otou-san was happy that he finally had a grandchild and Souji was elated that he fathered his own child, which just so happened to be the grandson of the man he admired most.

"I can't believe it." Otou-san said while tearing up a bit when Ryota babbled some more while wiggling around energetically. "I have a grandson. You did good, Shizuka. You did good."

* * *

[1] Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), also known as cot death or crib death, is the sudden unexplained death of a child less than one year of age. It requires that the death remains unexplained even after a thorough autopsy and detailed death scene investigation. SIDS usually occurs during sleep. Typically death occurs between the hours of 00:00 and 09:00. There is usually no evidence of struggle and no noise produced. The exact cause of SIDS is unknown. The requirement of a combination of factors including a specific underlying susceptibility, a specific time in development, and an environmental stressor has been proposed. These environmental stressors may include sleeping on the stomach or side, overheating, and exposure to cigarette smoke. Accidental suffocation such as during bed sharing may also play a role. Another risk factor is being born before 39 weeks of gestation. SIDS make up about 80% of sudden and unexpected infant deaths (SUIDs), with other causes include infections, genetic disorders, and heart problems. While child abuse in the form of intentional suffocation may be misdiagnosed as SIDS this is believed to make up less than 5% of cases. The most effective method of preventing SIDS is putting a child less than one year on its back to sleep. Other measures include a firm mattress separate from but close to caregivers, no loose bedding, a relatively cool sleeping environment, using a pacifier, and avoiding exposure to tobacco smoke. Breastfeeding and immunization may also be preventative.


	65. Chapter 65

**Chapter 65**

"The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida." ― Dave Barry

"Yay!" I gushed in a bubbly manner to Ryota as I rushed to get changed into my tomesode. "Today's the day we finally get to go outside!"

Of course I got no response and while I knew that Ryota couldn't answer me, I still kind of wanted some sort of response to confirm that I wasn't the only one excited to finally be able to leave the birthing room. Maybe a small gurgling sound? Nope. When I looked behind me to where Ryota was laying down, he had already fallen asleep. That was…incredibly fast. Why couldn't he fall asleep that fast when it was nighttime? The night before, after I had breastfed him, it had taken him an hour and a half to fall asleep after an hour of breastfeeding and right when I was about to fall asleep again, he woke up and cried for more milk once more. And now during the day, right after I put on his ceremonial white kimono for the day, he had already fallen asleep without fussing.

When I was in the middle of childishly pouting at Ryota, a laugh behind me caught my attention. I turned around to find Souji laughing at me. When did he enter the room?

"Were you just talking to the sleeping baby?" Souji asked while trying to get his laughing under control. "You know he can't answer you when he's this young and he definitely can't answer you while he's asleep."

"Well he wasn't asleep when I first started talking to him." I answered defensively with a plastic scowl before I bent down to pick up Ryota. He didn't stir at all when I picked him up. Again, why couldn't he be more like this at night when I was supposed to be catching up on sleep? I thought one month old babies were supposed to start sleeping more in the night and become more alert during the day.

"Right…" Souji snorted disbelievingly at me with a grin as he held out his arms towards Ryota, signaling to me that he wanted me to pass Ryota to him. "Well, let's hurry up. We need some extra time if we want to introduce Ryota to everyone before we leave for the shrine for the miyamairi."

Ah, yes, the miyamairi. The miyamairi was the traditional ritual of bringing a newborn to a shrine for their first visit. This was performed as sort of a thank you to the deities. During this event, the baby, who is dressed up in special white clothing, is traditionally carried by the grandmother or mother at the shrine. During the few minutes at the shrine, a Shinto priest prays for the baby's health and happiness. Within the prayer the priest will mention the baby's name, name of the parents, the family address, and the date of the baby's birth.

After the prayer, the parents and grandparents approach the altar and bow before they place tamagushi on the altar. A tamagushi is a traditional Shinto offering which was made of a sakura tree branch decorated with pieces of paper, silk, or cotton. The ritual then ends with each person, minus the baby, drinking saké from red wooden cups and when the ritual is finally complete, the family of the newborn is presented with gifts.

"Alright, I'm hurrying up." I said as I dropped my fake scowl to impishly stick out my tongue at Souji. "You just laughed at me, so I get to hold Ryota instead of you."

It was Souji's turn to pout, but he didn't say anything. And with everything set and ready to go, we set off for the main hall so we could have everyone meet Ryota first before heading to the shrine. Despite it getting louder the closer we got to the main hall, Ryota wasn't even bothered as he continued to snooze away. Damn. Seriously, why couldn't he sleep like this during the night?

"I believe it's clear and obvious that Ryota's going to like me the most." I heard Kyoko-chan brag as we got closer to the main hall. When Souji heard Kyoko-chan's claim he arched an eyebrow at me while I giggled.

"What?! No way! The little dude's going to like me more!"

"That's never going to happen if he can't get past your yelling, Shinpachi." I heard Sano-san point out.

"Guys, guys, let's not argue over this." Kenji-san cut in.

"That is correct." Tsune-san agreed, sounding relieved that Kenji-san interrupted the argument.

"Thank you, Tsune-san." Kenji answered. "It's pointless to argue about this because we all know the little guy's going to love me the most. How can you not love this much awesomeness?"

"Fuma-san!" I heard Tsune-san scold him, followed by the sound of a slap.

"Ouch! Sorry, Tsune-san. I was only joking. Please don't hurt me."

"Bad Ken-nii!" Tamako-chan jumped in the little battle. "Ryo like Tama and Scarf-nii bestest!"

"Oh? Hear that, Saito? Tamako-chan thinks that little Ryota will like you and her the most." Sano-san said with a sly chuckle.

"Please don't bring me into this." Saito-san answered calmly.

"Well, I think that's enough eavesdropping for now." Souji said to me with a smile while he suppressed his laughter.

Souji then opened the door of the main hall for me. Everyone fell silent for a little while only so they could switch gears. When all their eyes landed on Ryota, all the people who had not gotten the chance to see Ryota yet started gushing and squealing the way all people did when they saw a baby. And while everyone was loudly gushing about said baby, Ryota was still asleep with no signs of waking up anytime soon.

"Over here!" Otou-san exclaimed excitedly as he pat the empty spots to his right. Souji closed the door behind him before he ushered me and Ryota to our spots before he sat down next to me.

"Aww, he's so cute!" Kyoko-chan squealed as she immediately stuck her head in between Souji's and mine heads to look at Ryota. Souji snorted in annoyance when Kyoto-chan's pretty head blocked his view of his son. After Kyoko-chan violated our sense of private space, everyone took this as their que to crowd around and get a closer look at Ryota.

"Hehehe." Chizuru-chan giggled as she hid her smile behind her hands when she got in closer. "He looks exactly like Okita-san."

"Oh! He does look exactly like Souji! Too bad Heisuke's still in Edo. He would've gotten a kick out of this!" Shinpachi-san commented boisterously.

"This is interesting." Saito-san said as he leaned in to take a look at Ryota.

"What?" Souji asked with annoyance at his lack of space. "That my kid looks like me?"

"That's not it." Sano-san said with a grin. "A baby would usually have the traits of both of his parents. It looks like he took nothing from Shizuka and everything from Souji."

"Hmm… That IS interesting." said Inoue-san. "But we can't say the results are bad either. We can't deny that Ryota-kun is cute."

"It's amazing that he can sleep through all of this noise." Sannan-san stated. "He must be fairly easy to take care of at night."

I snorted at Sannan-san's assessment. "That can't be further from the truth." I said as I passed Ryota to Otou-san. Otou-san happily took Ryota from me without any complaints. "Ryota doesn't seem to understand that the night is for sleeping."

"That reminds me of a certain someone." Hijikata-san muttered under his breath.

"Hmm? Did you say something?" Souji asked with a sly catlike grin. "Did I hear, 'pour hot water on me again when I fall asleep tonight'?"

"SOUJI!" Hijikata-san yelled with a vein appearing on his forehead. "I swear that if you pour water on me again tonight, I will string you up by your thumbs!"

Wait? Again? What did Hijikata-san mean by again? Did that mean Souji was doing that the whole month I was sleeping in the birthing room? I didn't have much time to ponder my thoughts as Ryota, who was awaken by the shouting, woke up and started bawling. I quickly tried to help Otou-san calm Ryota down.

"Yosh, yosh, don't cry. Everything is alright." Otou-san said to Ryota as he started rocking the baby gently.

"Hijikata-san!" Tsune-san started scolding Hijikata-san unhappily. "You should know better than to start yelling around a sleeping baby!"

"S-Sorry." Hijikata-san apologized while looking embarrassed before the shot a dirty glare at Souji's victorious cat-grin.

Kenji-san then suddenly appeared behind Hijikata-san and pat him on the back patronizingly. "I feel for you. I really do. You are going to get tag teamed in the future."

After Kenji-san said his piece, Hijikata-san hung his head in defeat before a gloomy atmosphere settled in around him. Souji winked at me playfully before he went to take crying Ryota off of Otou-san's hands. The moment Souji picked up Ryota, Ryota's loud cries turned into soft whining before the tears magically stopped.

"Err…right… Time to go to the shrine." I jumped in. I felt for Hijikata-san. I really did.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want me to escort you and Tama-chan back home?" Otou-san asked Tsune-san with concern the following week as we were saying our farewells. Tsune-san had been in Kyoto for about two months now and it was time for her to go back to Edo.

"We will be fine." Tsune-san said with a gracious smile as she reached over to lay a hand over Otou-san's hand. "Fuma-san and Kyoko-chan will be traveling with us so I do not doubt that we will arrive safely."

"Don't worry Kondou-san, they'll be safe with us." Kenji-san reassured Otou-san.

"And entertained!" Kyoko-chan added in playfully before she resumed playing a bizarre and unusual form of peek-a-boo with Tamako-chan.

"Alright." Otou-san said before he quickly kissed Tsune-san on the lips and reached down to ruffle Tamako-chan's hair. "Be careful, my dear."

"We will and when you have time, please come visit us in Edo." Tsune-san said. "Shizuka-chan, Souji-kun, both of you with Ryota-chan must too."

"We will." Souji and I chorused together. "Bye."

We continued waving at the departing party until we couldn't see them anymore. It was really nice having Tsune-san and Tamako-chan with us for those two months, but they weren't going to stay for an extra month. Ane-ue had just given birth to her second daughter, Kuma-chan, and Tsune-san was returning to Edo so she could help with the postnatal care.

"Time to get back to work." Otou-san said as he stretched his arms over his head. "You two should put Ryota to bed. He looks sleepy."

"We will, Kondou-san." Souji answered. Otou-san nodded with a sound of approval before he left for inside headquarters, probably so that he could get his work done.

"Souji, you're not too busy right now, right?" I asked after Otou-san disappeared inside the building.

"Hmm? I have nothing too important at the current moment. Why?"

"Can you take care of Ryota for a few hours?" I said as I passed sleepy Ryota to Souji. Souji happily accepted Ryota. "I want to get in some practice with my naginata."

"So soon?" Souji exclaimed as he looked at me with concern.

"It's already been a month since I gave birth to Ryota. I'm recovered enough. Plus, I need to get back into shape. The skin on my lower abdomen feels pretty loose right now." I said with a small cringe. Yeah, I would really like my figure from before pregnancy back. Plus, I didn't want to have loose belly flab around for when Souji and I became sexually intimate again.

Souji stared at me silently for a short moment, quickly deciphering what I was thinking at the moment. "You're feeling insecure about your body after childbirth and you're afraid of what I might think." Souji said, nailing my thoughts in the head.

"You know, for someone who so often says that he's only useful as a sword, you're extremely talented at guessing other people's thoughts outside of battle. That's a useful skill." I stated with a small smile.

Souji chuckled at my remark. "I'm only this accurate with your thoughts." he said before he became serious again. "But in all seriousness, you shouldn't feel so insecure. How could I not find the mother of my child attractive? Sure, the skin on your belly is loose but that doesn't change who you are. All that matters is that you are you."

"You really think so?" I said meekly, my cheeks turned light pink at his sweet words. Oh geez! How could any girl not blush at his words!

"Yeah. Well, I'll put Ryota to sleep so you can get some exercise." Souji said before he pecked my cheek. "Who are you going to spar with?"

"I'm thinking of interrupting Hijikata-san's work to drag him out to spar with me. He's been stuck working on paperwork for too long and I think the fresh air will do him some good." I said. Plus, Hijikata-san was my favorite person to train with. He was the one who DID help me with my fighting technique the most once we arrived in Kyoto.

"Hmm…?" Souji said after I mentioned Hijikata-san. "He has been locked in his room for a while now. Okay, before you go to drag Hijikata-san out of his room, can you help me put Ryota in the obnuhimo? That way I can help Gen-san with the laundry and have Ryota with me at the same time."

"Okay." I agreed before we headed back towards our bedroom.

I quickly set to work strapping the obnuhimo, a baby sling, to Souji's front before I helped Ryota get settled in the sling. Ryota fell asleep against his father's chest as soon as I placed him in the sling. I stood back to appreciate the view of my husband carrying our son in the obnuhimo. It was cute.

"What?" Souji asked with an arched brow when he saw me looking at him.

"Oh, nothing." I chirped before I skipped out of the room. It was time to go drag Hijikata-san out of the dark cave he called his room.

* * *

"No." Hijikata-san said the moment I stepped into his room.

"What? I didn't even say anything yet." I replied with my arms crossed in front of me. How could he just say no without listening to what I had to say first? What if I was going to ask him if he could go help Sannan-san with something instead of to spar? Saying no to that then might have been problematic on his part.

"You were going to say something like, 'Go outside. You've been working inside for x number of day straight,' right?" he said without looking up from the document he was working on.

"Close?" I said. Well, telling him to go outside was only part of my idea. "I need someone to spar with, so please?"

"Go ask someone else." he waved me away without looking up at me. "I need to prepare for the new recruits that will arrive next month."

So that was what he was working so diligently on. But he usually didn't put in this much work into preparing for new recruits. Did Otou-san manage to recruit some important person back in Edo with Heisuke? I stared blankly at Hijikata-san. I wanted more information on the incoming new recruits.

"So, who's this important person or people that Otou-san recruited?" I asked.

Hijikata-san sighed at my nosiness before he put down the calligraphy brush and turned around to face me. "His name is Itou Kashitaro. Heisuke introduced him to Kondou-san while Kondou-san was in Edo."

"Hold on, I think I heard of this guy." I interrupted Hijikata-san. "Isn't he the master of that large Hokushin Ittō-ryū dojo back in Edo? I recall hearing about his dojo back in Edo."

"He inherited the dojo from the previous master when he married the previous master's daughter." Hijikata-san elaborated. "He's well-versed in Western studies and a skilled orator. He also possesses extraordinary skill as a swordsman."

"But those aren't the only things you know about him." I stated. When Hijikata-san was speaking, it looked like Hijikata-san was swallowing a bitter pill. "What about him bothers you so much?"

"It's that obvious, huh?" he scoffed. "I've never met him personally so I'm not able to judge him in person, but it bothers me that Itou was able to win Kondou-san in one meeting. He's impressed Kondou-san so much that Kondou-san is giving him an executive position the moment he arrives in Kyoto. Another thing is that Itou is a Tôbaku[1] follower while Kondou-san is on the opposite side as a Sabaku[2] follower. Then, Sannan-san, who has apparently met Itou, does say some flattering things about Itou, but it's as clear as day that Sannan-san doesn't like the man. None of these things sit well with me."

I nodded as I processed what Hijikata-san said. Otou-san had only met Itou once but already promised the man an executive position even though they had opposing views? That felt like a recipe for disaster. Furthermore, Sannan-san didn't like him. If both those men didn't like each other then wouldn't it be difficult to decide on major actions the Shinsengumi should take in the future with both of them being executive members? This brought the image of the Democrats and Republicans fighting over policy in the United States congress to mind. Things were going to take forever to get approved.

"I get your point." I sighed. "But there is no point in slaving over some paperwork regarding Itou when you haven't met him yet. After you meet him then you can decide on your own views of him then adjust whatever policy you're writing to best suit the situation. Just because you hear things you don't like about a person doesn't mean you'll hate that person when you meet him. So work on your papers later and come spar with me."

Hijikata-san huffed before giving me a peeved look. "I thought you were going to say something significantly important, but in the end it was just 'spar with me', huh?"

"Hey, I did say some important things." I objected. "Plus, when was the last time you went out and got some fresh air?"

"Yesterday night when I went to go discipline Shinpachi when he returned drunk with his uniform slovenly draped over his head." Hijikata-san deadpanned.

"That doesn't count." I argued pointedly. "You were still doing your job as the Oni Vice Commander."

"Go bother someone else." he said as he turned back around and picked up the brush again to resume his work.

"Like who?" I challenged. "Both Souji and Inoue-san are busy with the laundry. Saito-san and Sano-san are out on their rounds and won't be back for a few hours. Shinpachi-san is training with his men right now and Heisuke is still in Edo."

Hijikata-san made a small sound of annoyance before he put down his brush again and stood up. Oh, did that mean I won the—! Instead, Hijikata-san picked me up by the scruff of my kimono before he dropped me on my behind outside of his room like a puppy.

"Go bug Shinpachi. It doesn't matter that he's training his men right now. Considering that you haven't handled a weapon since you discovered you were pregnant, your stamina should be pretty low. A spar with Shinpachi will be too short for it to be even considered an interference in the men's training." Hijikata-san said before he closed the door in my face.

I just sat on the floor with my jaw hanging open for a few seconds after the door was closed in my face. Rude much? He could have kicked me out in a politer manner. But Hijikata-san did have a point. My stamina was probably pretty low now since I haven't really done anything strenuous for nearly a whole year, well, if you didn't include childbirth. Picking myself off the floor, I went to fetch a pail of water to rig over Hijikata-san's door for revenge before I set off to find Shinpachi-san. The next time Hijikata-san opened his door he was going to get drenched with water.

I found Shinpachi-san at the Mibu temple courtyard training his men after I left Hijikata-san's room. Chizuru-chan was sitting on the steps of the temple watching the men train, Shinpachi-san must have invited her. Hmm…now that I think about it, Chizuru-chan had a sword too. I recall seeing that she wasn't too adept at using it, but that didn't mean that we couldn't train together…then again, she seemed to like to avoid all forms of fighting unless it was absolutely necessary, so there could also be a good chance she would feel uncomfortable sparring with me. I cheerfully waved to Chizuru-chan before I skipped up to Shinpachi-san. Chizuru-chan waved back, but curiously stared at the wooden practice naginata I was carrying. She didn't know that I knew how to fight yet. When Shinpachi-san saw me, he stopped swinging his wooden sword and grinned at me.

"Yo! Takin' a break from taking care of the little guy?" Shinpachi-san asked as he put a hand on his hip.

"Yup! Souji's taking care of him right now so I can have some time to find someone to spar with. So please?"

"Well… I don't see why not." Shinpachi-san said as he gestured to his men to clear some space.

A giant circular space formed in the middle of the group of men as they moved to the side so they could create space and watch. Shinpachi-san and I went to the center of the empty space to get into our positions. Shinpachi-san took his wooden sword and held it in front of himself in the standard middle position while I stood with my wooden naginata in gedan-no-kamae position, a stance that that where I held my weapon pointed to the ground directly in front of me. This stance was utilized best for defense and counter attacks. Shinpachi-san and I circled each other for a few seconds before Shinpachi-san launched the first head-on attack. I quickly flipped the wooden blade of my practice weapon upwards to reflect the attack, stumbling backwards slightly from the brute physical strength from Shinpachi-san's attack when our weapons connected.

Shinpachi-san, like so many of the other captains, was never someone to take lightly in an official battle or spar. He was one of the captains that made up the Monster Three of the Shinsengumi, with the other two being Saito-san and Souji. The three men that were in this group were acknowledged to be the strongest swordsmen in all of the Shinsengumi and snagging a victory from one of those three was difficult if not near impossible. Other than their clear skill with swords, they were known for their individual strengths in battle. Souji was known for his amazing insight, Saito-san for his speed, and Shinpachi-san for his raw physical strength. Even the advantage of distance was not enough of an advantage for me. Distance was supposed to decrease the force of a blow, but I could still feel the effects of Shinpachi-san's incredible physical strength when his weapon hit my weapon. My hands were already numb from reflecting the previous attack.

Taking advantage of my stumble, Shinpachi-san pulled his practice sword back for his next strike and stepped forward with his right foot. Seeing his right foot move forward and him pulling his sword upright and close to his right side, I immediately performed a hara kioshi side step to the left to avoid the predicted incoming side slash. There was no way I was going to stay and try to block that attack. If blocking his first attack left my hands numb, I would have surely lost my grip on my weapon if I had attempted to block that second attack. Creating some distance with my side step, I quickly shifted into the chudan-no-kamae position, the middle position for a naginata user where I held my weapon parallel to the ground at hip level with the blade pointed directly forward. Before Shinpachi-san could recover from his previous missed attack, I jabbed my weapon forward and aimed towards his lower left side. However, I was too slow and missed the opening when he quickly turned on his heel and deflected my attack by whacking the tip of my weapon so that my attack went wide. Then in a blink of an eye, Shinpachi-san took advantage of the fact that I was still moving forwards from the momentum of my previous attack. Before I could pull back, he got under my guard and swung his wooden sword at my right side, only pulling his strike right before he hit me to prevent too much damage. I froze when I felt his practice sword touching my side.

"Not bad, considering you haven't had any practice from since before childbirth and pregnancy." Shinpachi-san complemented me before he removed this weapon from my side and stood up straight.

"But I still lost way too fast." I whined in disappointment as I dropped my stance to adopt my normal non-combative posture. While I knew there was no way I was going to beat Shinpachi-san, I still lost way too fast. The span of the whole spar probably lasted less than three minutes. It was going to take a lot more work to get back up to my original skill level before I started improving again.

Shinpachi-san laughed at my disposition before he ruffled my hair, successfully messing it up. I shot Shinpachi-san a look of annoyance before I pushed his hand out of my hair, but he didn't notice my irritation. While I did love the affectionate gesture, today was the first time in days I was able to have enough time and energy to put my hair up in its normal bun and to have Shinpachi-san mess up my hair… I wasn't too happy about that.

"Better stick to warm up exercises for a little while before you go challenging anyone to a spar." he said with a grin as he watched me fix my hair. "But go have a break first. You look a bit winded. Your inactivity during pregnancy really didn't do any good for your stamina."

He was right about that. After that short but intense spar, I felt a little short of breath. I nodded obediently before I shuffled off to the temple steps so I could sit with Chizuru-chan. When I approached the temple steps, I could feel Chizuru-chan watching me with amazement. While I didn't quite fight on the same level as all the other captains, I still did fairly well for a woman that wasn't born into the warrior caste. I watched Shinpachi-san resume practice with his men after I had sat down. I'll practice some warm up exercises after I catch my breath before I go back to taking care of Ryota.

* * *

I stalked towards Sannan-san's room with Ryota sleeping in the obnuhimo strapped to my back while feeling a bit nervous. Sannan-san's nice temperament had been deteriorating rather quickly in the past few weeks and he snapped more easily at people now. The cause of this was his lame arm and while I'm sure he would have been thrilled to hear an update on the nerve graft research, I was sure he was not going to be too happy about the news I was about to deliver to him.

Just a few minutes ago I had received a letter from one of the Fuma family workshops. The instrument they were designing that was going to be used as a high power magnifying glass for microsurgery needed to be rebuilt from scratch. A wild dog had somehow manage to sneak into the workshop and while the dog was being chased out, it knocked over the instrument and the instrument plummeted several feet off its platform before hitting the hard wooden floor, severely damaging it. The damage was so great that the instrument could not be salvaged. Despite the fact that I was ready to perform the surgery, I could not perform the surgery without that piece of equipment. If I still attempted the surgery without the proper equipment then I would be doing more harm than good.

Coming to a halt in front of Sannan-san's closed laboratory door, I hesitantly called out to Sannan-san through the door. "Sannan-san, are you there?"

"Shizuka-chan, what is it?" Sannan-san replied curtly. He must have been busy working on the Water of Life.

"I have some news regarding your nerve graft, but not all of it is good." I said.

There was a loud uncomfortable silence that filled the hallway I was standing in for what felt like hours. Then I heard a depressed sigh before Sannan-san gave me the go-ahead to enter the laboratory. I closed the door behind me and sat down directly behind Sannan-san. Sannan-san was seated at his desk as he held a beaker of the wicked red liquid that reflected the moonlight that came in through the window, creating an eerie red glow that lit up the room in a sinister fashion.

"So are you not able to do the nerve graft after all?" Sannan-san asked as he immediately jumped to the worst possible conclusion.

"That's not it." I replied before I took a deep breath, like I was about to take a plunge into dark depths of the unexplored sea. "I have both good news and bad news. What would you like to hear first?"

"It doesn't matter." Sannan-san said flatly with his defeatist attitude. "News is news. What comes first doesn't matter."

"Then, I'll go with the bad news first." I exhaled while feeling increasingly upset with the situation. "The piece of equipment needed to perform the surgery suffered severe damage and it could not be salvaged. It needs to be r-reconstructed a-again…" I had managed to stay steady during the first part of the announcement, but towards the end I had an extreme mood swing and I burst out into tears.

The thing about having given birth fairly recently was that I was still extremely hormonal. Of course this was normal among women in my same situation. Women who had just given birth were still extremely moody from their cocktail of hormones. It was completely normal for new mothers to elated one moment and then suddenly start bawling afterwards. These mood swings could happen many times in a single day.

"W-Wait—!" Sannan-san stuttered, completely taken back and unprepared for my unexpected emotional outburst. Ryota, who was asleep in the obnuhimo, had woken up and started crying when he heard me crying too, so Sannan-san was now dealing with two crying people.

Then Souji, who just happened to be nearby as he was coming to chat with Sannan-san, heard the crying and came to investigate and when he opened the door he was greeted by the strangest sight ever. Souji stared at us with an interesting expression that was a mix of disbelief, exasperation, and confusion. He was completely unsure at what to do. Then after fumbling for a few seconds, he knelt down next to me.

"Hey, hey." Souji said gently as he rubbed my shoulder. "What happened?"

"I-I d-don't know." I managed to say through my tears. "I-I don't e-even know what I'm c-crying about a-anymore!"

"Hah?!" Souji exclaimed in surprised disbelief. I really didn't know what I was crying about anymore. I was either crying about Sannan-san's situation or crying because of the fact that I couldn't stop crying. I have a feeling it was the second one.

"O-Okay." Souji said as he took a deep breath. "Why don't I take Ryota from you so you can have some time to calm down? Okay?"

I nodded as I continued to bawl. Souji took Ryota out of the obnuhimo to try to get him to stop crying before he shot Sannan-san an exasperate look that silently said, "Aren't you glad you don't have to deal with things like this?"

But because I burst out crying before I could finish telling Sannan-san all of the news, he never got to hear the good news that I was ready to operate and all I needed was to wait for the completed specialized equipment. Sannan-san had only heard the bad news and he was getting more desperate by the day. He returned a sympathetic look towards Souji before he turned back around to work on the Water of Life with more focus than before.

* * *

[1] Tôbaku: overthrow the Bakufu

[2] Sabaku: a term during the Bakumatsu Period meaning "Support the Bakufu"; people who supported both the Emperor and Shogun were called "Sonnô Sabaku"


	66. Chapter 66

**Chapter 66**

"There are many men who deserve to die. The most deserving are those that claim to serve the public, but only serve up the public as dinner to the wolves." ― Jarod Kintz

I laid on my stomach on the futon with Ryota laying on his back near my side during the early afternoon an hour after lunch. Souji had already left for his rounds with Inoue-san, so Ryota was only going to have my company for the next couple of hours. I ran my hand over my son's tummy in a light spiderlike crawl and giggled at his reaction. He wiggled around and looked unsure what to do with the foreign tickling feeling. At a little over two months old, now that it was December, Ryota was starting to stay awake longer during the day. Though he was developing well and like a normal healthy baby, he hadn't quite figured out how to smile or laugh yet. All he did when he tried to laugh or smile was wiggle around while looking confused. Souji always liked to lightly poke Ryota's cheek when Ryota made that expression. It would probably take a few more weeks before Ryota learned how to smile and laugh.

"Oh! There goes the spider~" I cooed at him with a gentle smile as he continued to wiggle and stare back at me.

"Haaaa," he babbled in his baby talk as he tried to figure out the strange tickling feeling on his tummy with a strange expression on his face.

I giggled at his confused expression before I laid my hand flat on his tummy and started to rub it while he continued to make random baby noises at me. He really seemed to like to make vowel sounds.

"Haaaa," I mimicked his baby babble playfully before I kissed his forehead. He always liked it whenever I mimicked his little noises and often became more vocal when I mimicked him.

"Shizu-chan? Are you in?" a voice then called through the closed bedroom door, interrupting my little play session with Ryota. It was Otou-san.

"Yes, I'm in. Come in." I called back as I pull my hand back off of Ryota to push myself up into sitting position on the futon. Ryota whined almost pathetically when he lost physical contact with me.

Otou-san opened the door and entered the room while I was pushing myself into sitting position and grinned when he saw that Ryota was awake. He closed the door behind him to keep out the cool December air before he came to sit on the futon. Ryota, who was now laying face up between me and Otou-san, turned his head to curiously stare at the source of the new sound.

"Oooooohhhhh," Ryota babbled when Otou-san reached out to rub his tummy. He wiggled a bit before he reached up sluggishly to try to grasp Otou-san's arm.

Otou-san let out a short warmhearted laugh before cooing at Ryota, "Have you been good for your okaa-san today?"

Ryota merely wiggled some more before letting out a small yawn. I giggled at his yawn and lightly tapped him on the nose. Despite being able to stay awake longer he still became fatigued quite quickly and still slept most of the day.

"So, what do you need, Otou-san?" I asked as I watched Ryota drift off to dreamland.

"Oh!" Otou-san exclaimed as he refocused on his purpose. "As you know, Itou-dono will arrive here at headquarters just before the sun sets today and I want to be able to have a fancier dinner for him when he arrives. Toshi, Sannan-kun, and I will be having dinner with him and two of his men."

"A fancier dinner?" I pondered out loud.

Just how fancy did Otou-san want dinner to be? Well, considering the fact that Otou-san seemed to absolutely adore Itou, Otou-san would want something impressive. I never considered myself to be an overly talented cook, but my cooking seemed enough to make everyone here happy. I guess helping out in my parents' restaurant in my past life was pretty helpful. Tsune-san also was always eager to teach me new dishes when we lived together back in Edo. I don't know about making food extremely mouthwatering like those master chefs, but I can certainly do fancy and maybe even exotic.

"What about a kaiseki?" I asked. Otou-san immediately became excited at my suggestion and nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh! That's a great idea!" Otou-san exclaimed before he froze. His face fell shortly afterwards when he thought about what I suggested. "But a kaiseki is pretty pricy and quite difficult to make… Are you sure you can make a kaiseki?"

That was a good question. I had never prepared a kaiseki before and it was not something a novice cook could prepare. A kaiseki was a thirteen or so dish course meal that was considered a type of art form that balanced the taste, texture, appearance, and colors of food. Only fresh seasonal ingredients were used and were prepared in ways that aimed to enhance their flavor. Local ingredients were included as well and the finished dishes were carefully presented on plates that were chosen to enhance both the appearance and the seasonal theme of the meal. The dishes were always beautifully arranged and garnished, often with real leaves and flowers, as well as edible garnishes designed to resemble natural plants and animals.

The dishes in a kaiseki always had a particular order that they were always served in. The sakizuke was an appetizer similar to the French amuse-boche and it was always served first. Next came the hassun, the second course that set the seasonal theme and typically consisted of one kind of sushi and several smaller side dishes. The third dish was the mukōzuke, a sliced dish of seasonal sashimi. Then came the takiwase, which consisted of vegetables served with meat, fish or tofu. The ingredients in this dish were to be simmered separately. What came afterwards was the futamono, a "lidded dish" that was typically a soup. Then after that came the yakimono, which was a grilled seasonal fish. Next would be the su-zukana, a small vinegar dish that was used to clean the palate. This usually some sort of vegetable in vinegar. The naka-choko came afterwards and was another palate-cleanser that consisted of a small acidic soup. Finally, the substantial dish, such as a hot pot, came next and it was called the shiizakana. Afterwards came the rice dish made with seasonal ingredients. This was just simply called gohan. When the seasonal rice dish was finished, a small dish of seasonal pickled vegetables called the kō no mono was served. As soon as that dish was finished the tome-wan was served. The tome-wan was a basic offering of rice and miso soup that was served at the end to make sure that the person eating was no longer hungry. People tended not to eat this course. Then finally the last dish called the mizumono was served. This dish was usually just a small dessert of fruit, confection or cake.

The amount of money it would take to prepare a kaiseki was no joke either. All the ingredients were expensive and there were many, many, many ingredients needed. Thankfully money was not an issue here. Even though I stopped going out to raise money for the Shinsengumi back when I married Souji, we were not short of money. They didn't need me to continue going out to raise funds. The Aizu domain had started to pay the Shinsengumi in actual money instead rice stipends after the Ikedaya incident. But even if money wasn't an issue, I cringed at the amount of money I would waste if I made a poor kaiseki. I would need assistance in this endeavor. I would grab Kyoko-chan and her mother before I went shopping in the market for the needed supplies and maybe when we were out shopping, we would run into Chizuru-chan. If we did, then I would poach her for some extra help.

"Well, no." I answered Otou-san. "But I'm no slouch when it comes to cooking. I can definitely give it a try with some help, though I do need someone to watch Ryota for a few hours."

"I can take him until Souji gets back from patrol." Otou-san instantly volunteered with a grin breaking out on his face, showing his excitement at being able to spend time with his grandson.

"Alright then." I said with a small laugh. Of course Otou-san would volunteer. He absolutely adored Ryota. "Then I'll go find Kyoko-chan and her mother to help me. The trip to the market to buy all the ingredients should probably take about two hours, so that means that when I return to headquarters Ryota will need to eat again."

Otou-san nodded energetically before he handed me a small purse of money he must had prepared beforehand. "This is for the ingredients. There should be more than enough money in here." he said.

I took the money from Otou-san and put it in a small compartment in my left sleeve before I gently picked Ryota up and passed him to Otou-san. Ryota didn't stir in the least and continued snoozing away.

"I know you have some work to complete before Itou arrives, so just lay Ryota on your futon in your room and you can continue to work and have him nearby. You don't have to worry about him waking up from most sounds since he's a heavy sleeper when he is actually asleep." I instructed Otou-san before pointing to a cabinet near the back corner of the room. "And if you have to change him, the materials are in that cabinet."

"Got it." Otou-san answered energetically with a nod. "You don't have to worry about Ryota when he's with me!"

"Of course not." I said with a wry grin before I left the room. "You did raise me rather successfully, right?"

Otou-san let out a throaty chuckle that could be heard as I left to go complete my job. So a fancy meal, huh? I'll swing by and pick up Kyoto-chan first and then swing by her parents' bank to ask if Kyoko-chan's mother could come and help before I hit the market. Interestingly enough, before I even made twenty steps away from headquarters, I ran into Kyoko-chan. As soon as she saw me, she bounced up to me.

"Just the person I was coming to visit. Well, one of the people I was coming to visit." Kyoko-chan said as she took my hands into her hands. "Where's Ryota and where are you going?"

"To get you actually, and as for Ryota, he's with Otou-san. He's sleeping right now."

"Aww." she complained. "I was hoping that I would get to play with him for little while. So, what did you need me for?"

"I need to prepare a kaiseki dinner and I needed some help." I explained.

"Hold on a moment, you're not going to ask me to cook right?" Kyoko-chan said hesitantly. "You know that when I'm in charge of cooking, most of the things I cook somehow manage to taste burnt and undercooked at the same time, right? The only time that doesn't happen is when I get really lucky. There's a reason why Kenji does most of the cooking back at home."

"I know, but it'll be fine. You have helped me cook in the past and that turned out fine." I replied. "You don't have to worry about being in charge. You just have to follow instructions."

It was true that when Kyoko-chan cooked that most of her dishes did end up tasting like they were burnt and undercooked at the same time, but for some strange reason, as long as someone was monitoring her and giving her instructions while she cooked then everything turned out fine. I think the main problem was that she never knew exactly when to stir the food and to when not to unless someone was right next to her telling her what to do. But despite the less than desirable tasting food that she produced when she worked on her own, she really did know how to make it look pretty. With the way she arranged the food she cooked, no one would normally be able to guess that she wasn't a master chef without tasting her food first.

"Oh! I was going to go get your mom too. She would be able to help, for sure." I added.

"That's a good idea. Okaa-san can actually cook." she snorted.

If anything, Kyoko-chan's mom was the master chef. The saying that "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" was true for Kyoko-chan's parents. The reason her parents even started courting before they got married in the first place was because her dad fell in love with her mom's cooking.

"Well then, let's go!" Kyoko-chan cheered before she dragged me off at a full on run. I had almost forgotten how energetic Kyoko-chan was. With Kyoko-chan dragging me around, it took less than ten minutes to pick up her mom and get to the market. Such was Kyoko-chan record breaking speed.

"Oh! That flatfish looks fresh and it's in good condition." I said as I pointed to one of the stalls at the market. It didn't take long for us to find some stalls that sold fish, but it was surprising how much fresh fish there was at the market today. Fresh fish was often harder to find in Kyoto because it was further away from the sea than Edo was. Somebody must had made a large catch late last night or early this morning. But while it didn't take too long to find fresh fish, it took a good hour to find the right type of fish for the dinner.

"Hmm…" Kumiko-san, Kyoko-chan's mother, said as she examined the fish. "It would make a good addition to the dinner since it's best eaten around winter. Some sudashi[1] citrus juice drizzled on top of the flatfish as sashimi would make a wonderful and tasteful mukōzuki dish."

"What about some cuttlefish?" Kyoko-chan suggested while pointing off to the side. "They taste best around wintertime too and there's some fresh ones at this stall too." Despite being a less than excellent cook, Kyoko-chan was amazing at picking out prime ingredients.

"That sounds good." someone else answered over my shoulder and so close to my right ear that I could feel his breath caress my ear. I jumped nearly three feet into the air and quickly spun around to see Souji, in his uniform, standing behind me wearing a smug grin. His squad plus Chizuru-chan were on standby not too far away.

"S-Souji? Don't do that." I squeaked while a little pink. When I jumped in fright earlier I had let out a little shriek which caused everyone around me to turn and stare. Strangers staring had always made me feel very awkward. "And aren't you supposed to be on patrol? You should be more serious right now."

Souji chuckled at my reaction. "Sorry, but I just couldn't help myself. You were just right there and totally unaware that I was behind you." he said as he stood up straight again. "So what are you doing out here? I thought you would be content with spending your whole afternoon with our son."

"Oh! You know how that Itou guy is supposed to arrive today before dinner, right? Otou-san wants to throw a special dinner for him when he arrives to impress him." I answered. "Ryota's with Otou-san right now and I told Otou-san that you would pick Ryota up when you were done with rounds. Which reminds me, I need to borrow Chizuru-chan for some extra hands."

"Me?" asked Chizuru-chan.

I nodded and Chizuru-chan quickly ran over to where I was and received an update on what needed to be done from Kumiko-san. Chizuru-chan quickly went to help Kyoko-chan shortly afterwards.

"Hmm…" Souji responded with a small frown when he heard "Itou". Just like Hijikata-san, Souji wasn't too happy about how Otou-san spent so much time talking about Itou, who Otou-san had only met once. Souji then shook off his frown and then mischievously whispered into my ear, "Poison him."

It was my turn to frown this time. "You know I can't do that." I scolded him a bit, which just caused his mischievous grin to grow. "You haven't even met the guy yet. Who knows? You might like him. But if this guy turns out to be a total jerk, then I'll poison him." I said jokingly.

"That's my girl." Souji said with a chuckle before he pecked my forehead. "Well, time to finish up rounds. I'll see you when you get back to headquarters. Chizuru-chan, don't drag them down."

"I won't!" Chizuru-chan sassed back to Souji causing both of us to laugh.

"Alright, be careful." I said to Souji before whispering into his ear, "I'll buy some extra ingredients so I can make you a treat later."

"Mmm, can't wait." Souji said with a grin before he went back to his men to continue his patrol.

"Captain, what did your wife whisper to you?" I heard one of Souji's men ask curiously as they were leaving to continue with their patrol. He must have thought I whispered something a bit more risqué into Souji's ear. All Souji did was smile and ask him if he wanted to die. That shut that man up rather quickly.

* * *

"Thank you for all your help." I said with a polite bow to Kumiko-san and Kyoko-san as they were getting ready to leave headquarters after helping me prepare most of the kaiseki. We prepared all we could for now and the rest of the food would have to be prepared right before it was served to ensure freshness.

"It was no trouble." Kumiko-san replied. Kyoko-chan on the other hand demanded playfully that the next time that she came to visit me that she would get to play with Ryota. I laughed at her silliness and then agreed. I waved both of them good bye and they left headquarters to return home.

"So what do we do now?" Chizuru-chan asked me as soon as I returned to the kitchen.

"There's not much we can do right now." I answered her. "We can't start preparing the other dishes yet because Itou still hasn't arrived yet." With some extra hands to help prepare dinner, we had actually finished early and before Itou arrived. Although probably not by much time, a runner had come to headquarters a bit earlier to announce that Itou and his men would arrive in about forty minutes. "But if you still want to work then you can go prepare some more saké. There's bound to be lots of drinking tonight." I said before leaving the kitchen again. "I'm going to go feed Ryota again. It's time for him to eat."

When I arrived back at the bedroom and opened the door, I was greeted by a heartwarming sight. Souji was laying on his back and Ryota, who was wide awake was laying on his stomach on top of Souji. After arriving back from the market I had gone to feed Ryota once and now after finishing with most of the dinner, I had to feed him again. Souji turned his head towards me and grinned when I entered the room and Ryota, who sensed feeding time was near, wiggled endlessly on top of Souji and whined a bit.

"Okay, okay, I hear you." Souji said to his son as he cradled Ryota to his chest before he sat up.

I quickly loosened the top of my kimono and went to sit by Souji. After Souji passed Ryota to me, Ryota instantly latched on without any prompting and started suckling.

"He must have been hungry." Souji commented as he watched his son eat. "So are you done cooking dinner yet?"

"For now." I said with a small wince. I really wished that Ryota wouldn't suck with so much force sometimes. "I have to wait until Itou arrives before I can finish the rest of the dishes for dinner to ensure everything stays fresh."

After I spoke, Souji and I just sat in comfortable silence and watched Ryota eat for the next several minutes. There was just something soothing and very satisfying about watching our son eat. Just as Ryota was finishing up, Shinpachi-san burst into the room.

"Hey! Itou-san has just arrived…" Shinpachi-san said loudly before he realized what he was interrupting. He flushed a bright pink color before he quickly stepped back outside and slammed the door shut. "SORRY! I swear I didn't know you were breastfeeding right now! I didn't see anything!"

"Shinpachi-san, you should really start knocking before you enter other people's rooms." Souji said irritably before he turned to me. "I'll go check things out. Why don't you finish things up here before you come and join me?"

"Okay" I answered. Ryota was almost done anyways, he had just let go of my nipple. Souji stood up and pecked me on the lips before he left the room to go join the others that were observing Itou's arrival.

I quickly cleaned myself and Ryota up after Souji left the room. As soon as I was clean, I readjusted my kimono before straightening it. With everything freshened up, I picked up Ryota again and headed off to where everyone was gathering. I wanted to see who this Itou was. By the time I got outside, I found Souji, Saito-san, Shinpachi-san, and Sano-san gathered off to the side watching Otou-san and Hijikata-san greet Itou and two of his men.

"We've awaited you." I heard Otou-san exclaim just as I arrived next to Souji. Otou-san was cheerfully grasping Itou's hand as a warm greeting.

"I'm humbled you came to greet us in person, Commander." Itou answered politely and tactfully with his effeminate voice.

I took this time to observe Itou. He was a tall man and a very beautiful looking man that had a sharpness to him. He seemed to have a sort of feminine air around him, but that could have come from how cultured he was appearing to be and from his well-groomed appearance. Despite looking somewhat feminine, I could tell he was an accomplished swordsman from the way he was gripping Otou-san's hand in the greeting. He had a strong grip and calluses from practicing swordsmanship. He also felt different from Serizawa, but he gave off nearly the same aura of danger. The only difference was that Itou presence felt sharper and sneakier. I suddenly felt a sharp sense of doubt that everyone would be able to get along well with this man.

"So that's Itou Kashitaro." Shinpachi-san said as he watched the greeting while leaning up against the inside of the doorframe everyone was next to. "Apparently he's achieved full mastery of the Ittō style."

"I heard that Itou-san espoused the Sonnō Jōi philosophy." Saito-san commented wearily. "I'm surprised he'd have his name associated with the Shinsengumi."

"The same mindset as those Choshu guys, huh?" Sano-san said with his voice full of doubt. "Can someone like that get along well with us?"

"Itou-san is highly educated and a gifted speaker." we all heard someone add to the conversation from behind. We all turned around to see Sannan-san standing behind us.

"Hehhh?" Sano-san voice before saying, "Ah! So, Sannan-san, you know…?" Sano-san drifted off when he realized that Sannan-san had already walked away. Everyone fell silent for a moment to stare at Sannan-san retreating back into the dark building.

"Sannan-san is becoming less and less congenial lately, huh?" Shinpachi-san said concernedly.

"Yeah." Sano-san agreed. "He hardly ever talks these days, either. Well, he never was the kind of person to engage in idle chatter."

While those three were chatting off to the side, Souji leaned against the wall quietly with a blade of grass sticking out of his mouth. He was probably thinking of Sannan-san situation since he could empathize the most with Sannan-san.

"Souji?" I called him.

"Hmm?"

"Can you take Ryota for now? I need to finish things up in the kitchen now that Itou is here."

"Okay." Souji said as he took Ryota from my arms. Ryota was already starting to look sleepy again and needed to be put to bed.

"I'll be back later when I'm done preparing their dinner." I told Souji before I left for the kitchen again.

* * *

"My, who's this lovely young lady?" Itou-san asked when he saw me bring the food into the dining hall and place it on the low long dining table I had prepared for this evening.

"Ah, let me introduce you to my daughter, Itou-dono," Otou-san boisterously said with a large grin. "This is Shizuka."

"It is a pleasure to meet you." I said politely with a bow.

While the captains clearly were being to show signs of disliking this man, this was my first time interacting with him and he hadn't given me a reason to dislike him yet, but I did feel highly uncomfortable as I felt his eyes linger on certain parts of my body. That action certainly gave me a slimy feeling, but it also wasn't the first time another man other than Souji had done this, so I didn't react too much. I just merely gave him the kindest smile I could manage under these circumstances.

"I am surprised that you allow your single daughter to live here in a household full of men. You must truly bestow much trust onto you men if you allow them to get so close to you daughter." Itou-san said an almost predator-like undertone that Otou-san completely missed.

I shuddered when I heard him speak. Okay, that was the last straw. I have now decided that there was no way I could like this man. Just being in the same room with him wanted to make me take a shower. This slimy bastard was not someone who was respectful to women. But at the same time, I got the feeling that some of his behavior was an act, like he was testing the waters. Like for an instance, he should have known I was married because of my tomesode.

"Oh, I don't have to worry too much. Shizu-chan isn't single, but a married woman and a mother now. None of the men would ever even think about touching Souji's wife." Otou-san replied.

"So I see. She's Okita-kun's wife…" Itou said as he let his eyes linger on the sleeves of my tomesode as I finished placing the food on the table. Just being around him made me extremely uncomfortable. I wasn't going to stay here longer than I needed to. This was important to Otou-san and I didn't want to ruin it for him.

"All the food is served now, Otou-san." I said with a formal polite bow. "May I excuse myself so I may go care for my son now?"

"Hmm? Oh! You don't need to ask, just go when you need to." Otou-san said before he turned to Itou, "Here, let me pour some saké for you."

"My, so polite. Thank you very much." Itou replied to Otou-san.

I didn't stay around to hear the rest of the conversation. As soon as Otou-san said that I could leave, I got out of the room as fast as possible. I went to find Chizuru-chan as soon as I left the dining hall. Chizuru-chan was the one in charge of this evening's saké and she needed to know that she should keep as far as away from Itou as possible. Itou-san was clearly sharp enough to be able to see through her male disguise and he clearly showed that he would take whatever he wanted from a woman if it was within his grasp and if he could successfully bypass the risks.

"Chizuru-chan?" I called into the kitchen before I entered.

"Shizuka-chan?" she replied as she turned around to face me. She had been heating up the next round of sake for the dinner. "What is it?"

"Be careful when you're near Itou." I warned her. "There's just something very calculating and slimy about him. Oh, just thinking about it makes me shudder."

"Shizuka-chan?" Chizuru-chan said in confusion.

"Just trust me on this." I said before I picked up an extra tray of food I had prepared for Souji and left to go find him. I had left Ryota with him almost all afternoon and he probably needed a break to eat dinner.

I found Souji in our bedroom. Instead of eating dinner and spending time with the other captains, Souji had opted to retreat back to our bedroom so that Ryota could sleep on a futon in a quiet environment. When I entered the room, I found Ryota fast asleep on a futon and Souji flipping through the pages of one of my medical notebooks I had left on the desk.

"Find anything interesting?" I said wryly as I stepped into our bedroom. I placed Souji's dinner next to him before I went back to close most of the bedroom door. I left a small opening so we could have some fresh air. It was pretty cold outside, but we were lucky it hadn't started to snow yet.

"Lots of things, but I don't quite understand everything." Souji answered back with a small whimsical smile before he placed my notebook back on the desk. He then looked at me expectantly and fervently patted the empty spot next to him. "Sit next to me and feed me." he demanded childishly with a cute pout.

I looked at him exasperatedly before I broke out in a small smiled at his request. I sat down next to him and picked up his chopsticks. Since becoming a mother, I hadn't had as much time to indulge Souji in his requests as often as I once did and I knew he missed that. While he did like watching me breastfeed Ryota, there were times I caught him looking on enviously.

I picked up a thin slice of flatfish sashimi with the chopsticks and lightly dipped it in the wasabi and soy sauce mixture before I lifted it to Souji's mouth. He chomped down on it with childish delight.

"How about some octopus next?" I asked. Souji just merely nodded happily while chewing his food before he swallowed his food and he opened his mouth and waited for me to place the next piece of food in.

"So what's your impression of Itou-san now that you've finally met him?" Souji asked with a full mouth.

"I don't like him." I said without hesitation. "I could feel his gaze linger on me, like he was undressing me with his eyes, but at the same time, it felt like he was just testing the waters. It was like he wanted to know in what manner he was allowed to behave in before he would receive lash back. It was like he was testing a hypothesis."

Souji paused his eating his meal and balled his hands into a fist in his lap. "He didn't do anything to you, right?"

"No. As far as I can tell, he won't touch me. It would be too dangerous for him if he was caught trying to be inappropriate with me since I am the Commander's daughter and the wife of the First Division Captain." I answered. "Besides, he's probably not even all that interested in me as a woman. I'm just an anomaly."

"Good. Stay away from him as much as possible." Souji said seriously. I nodded silently in agreement before I raised another bite to his mouth to prompt him to continue his meal.

"Well, we'll worry about Itou another time." I suggested as I tried to chase away the dampened mood. "Don't let thoughts of him ruin this rare fancy meal."

"Mmm…" Souji said in agreement before he took his next bite. "It has been ages since I had such a fancy home cooked meal." he commented after he swallowed his bite.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself." I said with a small smile as I observed Souji's hamster like cheeks.

After Souji swallowed and right as he was about to go for the next bite, he froze and his eyes sharpened. He grabbed his katana, which he had taken off his waist, and quickly stood up and went to the door.

"Souji?" I asked in confusion. He must have sensed something I missed. He quietly placed a single finger on his lips in a shushing gestured before he went to peek out of the small opening of the door and when it was completely silent, that's when I heard a muffled conversation outside.

"May I help you with something?" I heard Chizuru-chan ask. Who was she talking to? I quickly placed the chopsticks back onto the tray and went to where Souji was so I could hear what was going on better.

"What, pray, is a person like you doing here?" I heard another voice ask Chizuru-chan. It was Itou. Wasn't he supposed to be inside having dinner with Otou-san and the other important people? Why was he outside alone with Chizuru-chan?

"Huh?"

"You're not a soldier, are you?" Itou-san said as he began to slowly accost Chizuru-chan. This situation was getting dangerous. Realizing the gravity of the situation, Chizuru-chan began backing up in fear.

"Souji!" I gasped in alarm as Itou continued to advance on Chizuru-chan. She needed to get out of there.

"Got it." Souji said back to me as he quickly threw open the door, drew his sword and slashed at Itou from behind.

Hearing the door open, Itou turned around just in time to see and dodge Souji's attack calmly and skillfully. Most people would have been slightly ruffled up after experiencing an attack from Souji, even if it missed.

"Okita-san!" Chizuru-chan gasped in surprise.

Itou smiled calmly as he let his eyes wander to a carnation, which was magically still able to grow in this cold weather, that was sitting neatly on the tip of Souji's sword. The attack that Souji made earlier was not aimed to kill, but to warn. Souji had purposefully and skillfully cut that flower loose to use in his warning.

"A place full of men is not a place of free flowers. But as Itou-san has graced us with your presence, I thought I could give you something pretty that you would be allowed to look at." Souji said as he pointed his sword towards Itou to offer him the flower, disguising a heavy death threat.

"Yes, it's lovely." Itou said as he took the flower from the tip of Souji's sword calmly and smelled its fragrance. "But cutting it with a sword is rather heavy-handed." he replied to Souji's threat.

"Being somewhat heavy-handed is a hallmark of the Tennen Rishin-ryū style." Souji remarked as he sheathed his sword once again before he spoke to Chizuru-chan. "You! There's still cleaning up to do, right? Hurry back."

"Sir!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed as she bolted back to the kitchen, she could sense the animosity between the two men.

"Thank you for the flower, Okita-san." Itou-san said as he began heading back towards the dining hall, but before he completely left he let his eyes wander to where I was standing near the bedroom doorway. "You have quite the beautiful wife there, Okita-san. You better keep a close eye on her in this den of wolves."

"Hmm?" Souji hostilely said to get the last word in. "I will, so you better keep your eyes off of her if you want to keep them. Stay away from my wife."

Having Itou join the Shinsengumi was a big mistake and I could feel it all the way down to my bones that this mistake would somehow cost us greatly.

"You know, maybe poisoning him wouldn't be such a bad idea after all." I commented after Itou left. Souji snickered before he suggested that I use fugu to poison him.

* * *

[1] Sudachi (Citrus sudachi; Japanese: スダチ or 酢橘) is a small, round, green, Japanese citrus fruit that is a specialty of Tokushima Prefecture in Japan. It is a sour citrus, not eaten as fruit, but used as food flavoring in place of vinegar.


	67. Omake

I'm not done writing the previous chapters yet. I'm only up to chapter 37, but i decided to throw you guys an omake that I wrote but never posted. Please be patient, I promise I'll get the rewrites done as soon as possible.

* * *

**Omake**

**Cleanup after Tonouchi**

Balancing a large tub of warm water in my arms along with a clean towel, I quickly made my way to Souji's room. I had already wasted enough time on Serizawa over the Tonouchi issue tonight and I hadn't gone to go check on Souji yet. After finding out that Souji killed Tonouchi, everyone was highly strung and on edge, Otou-san and Hijikata-san above all.

"Souji?" I called through the shut door when I arrived outside his room. From outside I could see that none of the lanterns inside were lit, but I knew Souji was inside.

"Shizuka?" Souji replied while sounding completely surprised at my presence. "What is it?"

"Can I come in?"

"Umm…" Souji voiced uncomfortably. "I'm not done cleaning all the blood off yet. Can this wait? Everything's still a bit messy."

"Actually this is about the mess." I said as I placed the heavy tub on the ground to relieve my arms of the extra weight.

There was some noise of movement in Souji's room before he answered, "You're not going to scold me over the mess I made of the situation when I killed Tonouchi, are you?" I could almost hear a frown in his voice along with a small hint of fear.

"No," I said softly to let him know I wasn't here to reprimand him, "I'm here about the literal bloody mess all over you right now. I brought some things to help you wash up."

"Oh." came Souji's relieved voice before the door slid open and a still bloody Souji greeted me. He hadn't really had a chance to wash off any of the blood yet and some of it was already starting to dry on his face.

Picking up the tub of warm water again, I squeezed into Souji's room through the small space under his arm he used to prop the door open. The room was completely dark. Just how was he planning to clean himself up completely in the dark? Placing the tub on the floor of his room next to another tub, filled with cold water and already in the room, I went over to a lantern with the intent of lighting it.

"You didn't need to come in." he said with distinct discomfort as he turned his head to watch me. "You could have just given me the items."

"I wanted to." I said as I lit the lantern to light up the room.

Souji made a small sound of displeasure over the light that was invading his once dark room before grunting, "The room was dark for a reason, you know."

"I know." I said as I went back to where I placed the tub of warm water before waving him over. "But you can't clean yourself off completely if you're in the dark."

He sighed before closing his door again and walked over to me just as I dipped the clean towel I brought with me into the tub of warm water.

"Now, strip and toss your clothing into that tub of cold water."

Souji raised his eyebrow at my demand. "You know I can wash up myself." he said as he removed his hakamashita and dropped it into the cold water.

"With the cold water?" I asked him with a small frown as I wrung out the excess water in the towel before I went to wash off the blood on his face. "And where were you going to put your blood drenched clothing? Not in your laundry hamper, I hope? You need to soak clothing in cold water before you wash it to prevent blood stains. And it's bad to just toss blood drenched clothing with other clothes if you aren't planning to wash them soon."

"Maybe…" he muttered under his breath.

I giggled a bit at his attitude before I cleaned off the rest of his face and upper body. Souji, who resisted a bit in the beginning was now calm and tame. He even seemed to purr a bit at my touch as I removed the blood splattered all over his chest.

"Hey, Shizuka?" Souji said after a period of silence.

"Hmm?"

"Are you mad at me, like Kondou-san and Hijikata-san are, for going off and killing Tonouchi by myself?" he asked hesitantly as I finish cleaning his upper body. He seemed afraid of my answer, but even more afraid of not knowing.

I dropped the bloody towel back into the tub of hot water before I answered him, "No, do you want me to be?"

"No!" Souji exclaimed quickly. "No. It's just…everyone's unhappy at what I did and you…"

"I could be mad, but that wouldn't accomplish anything." I explained. "I am a bit upset that you went ahead and killed Tonouchi without reporting him first, but in the grand scheme of things, I think disposing of Tonouchi was the right thing to do."

"Wait…you're think killing him was the right thing?"

"Of course! He was planning on killing Otou-san, right?"

Souji just merely nodded.

"Well, I think you did the right thing. Thank you for protecting Otou-san." I told him sincerely.

He seemed stunned by my words before his expression soften. He placed his hands on my hips before he leaned down towards me. "Thanks, huh…? Then how about a kiss?" he asked before he went ahead and stole a kiss without waiting for me to answer.

When he pulled away, he kept his hands on my hips as his fingers slipped under the hem of my hakama to touch my bare skin. I smiled at him before I pulled away completely so I could reach down and wash the bloody towel out.

"Can you remove your hakama now? It's covered in blood too and I need to wash it." I asked as I washed the towel. Souji's eyebrows arched up in a suggestive manner before he smirked down at me.

"Moving a bit fast are we?" he said teasingly. "I didn't think you would want to do it so soon."

"Of course I want to wash your hakama as soon as possible." I said as I scrunched up my brow in confusion. What was he talking about? "It gets harder to wash the blood off the longer you wait."

Souji lost his amused look before he sighed exasperatedly. "Shizuka…" he said while looking completely unimpressed. "That wasn't what I was talking about. Figures, innuendo just flies over your head."

"What innuendo?" I asked. All I did was ask him to take off his hakama. I don't understand.

"Nothing." Souji sighed as he pulled off his hakama and dropped it in the cold tub of water. Then, clad in nothing but his loincloth, picked up the tub filled with his dirty clothing and handed it to me. "You can go head and take these to wash now. I can wash the rest of the blood off myself."

"Souji?" I asked in confusion.

He didn't answer me and he quickly ushered me out of his room. Before he closed the door again, he caught the confusion on my face. He smiled with amusement and winked at me before the door shut. What was that all about?


	68. Omake 2

I'm still fixing up the previous chapters. I just finished fixing up chapter 45 and hopefully it shouldn't take too long now since i'm just fixing grammar and consistency issues for the later chapters instead of completely rewriting them, like I did with the oldest chapters. Here's a omake that emerged when I was working on the earlier chapters.

* * *

**Omake**

**The Musings of Hijikata Toshizo**

"Oh! Thanks." I said to Shizuka as she placed a cup of hot tea and a freshly steamed manjū bun on the desk I was working on. She was always making sure I wasn't going to overwork myself.

She smiled kindly at me before reminding me, "Remember to take a break later, Hijikata-san. It's unhealthy for you to work so long without taking a break." before she left again.

A break… Maybe it was time to take a break? I had been working nonstop since this morning. I put the calligraphy brush down so I could take a sip of hot tea before glancing at the manjū bun. It's been awhile since I first met Shizuka and she had grown into a fine woman since then. She was excellent wife material now and complimented Souji well. I should speak to Kondou-san later about this. Both Shizuka and Souji were at marriageable age now and she would make a great wife for Souji…

While staring at the manjū bun, I got lost in my own musings as I thought back to the time I first met her.

_"Hah!" Kondou-san said as he swung his bokken down on me._

_"Erk!" I grunted as I brought my own bokken up to block the attack._

_I understood now why Kondou-san was the adopted heir of the master of Shieikan Hall. There was no one I knew that was as strong as he was and no other man I knew as great as he. I didn't know what to expect when Kondou-san arrived at my brother-in-law's newly opened dojo for a degeiko, but I was not disappointed._

_Kondou-san remained at my brother-in-law's dojo for an entire week for the degeiko and on the last day he was there, he had invited me to Shieikan Hall. Wanting to know this great man and new brother-like figure better, I accepted this invitation. That invitation led me to where I was now, at Shieikan Hall sparring with Kondou-san with a man named Inoue Genzaburo as the referee._

_Kondou-san smirked at me as I managed to push off his attack, causing me to smirk confidently back at him. Kondou-san was strong, but I could keep up as well. After I pushed of Kondou-san's attack, we both stepped back and bowed to each other respectfully to end the sparring match. However as soon as we finished bowing at each other, Kondou-san's eyes glanced at the open door through the corner of his eyes._

_"Ah! There you are Shizu-chan! I was just about to go find you." Kondou-san said as he fully turned his head towards the open door._

_Who was he speaking to? I turned my head to glance at the same direction Kondou-san was looking and I felt my eyes widen as I spotted a little girl peering at us from behind the doorway. Who was this little girl? Perhaps a family member of Kondou-san or Gen-san? Little girls didn't normally belong in a dojo, so she must have been related to someone at this dojo._

_She was a small thing, but fairly cute. Between her beautiful blue eyes, black hair, and pale skin, she was bound to grow up to become an extraordinary beautiful woman. She also seemed rather meek. She stood behind the doorway while watching me curiously. She obviously wanted to know who I was, but was probably too shy to come over to greet me herself. But out of all the things I got from my observations, it was the eyes that got me the most. Aside from being a beautiful shade of blue, her eyes seemed to hide intelligence behind them, much more than any other young children I had seen. Despite looking like a normal child, it felt like she was far from normal. It felt like there was something almost supernatural about the intelligence I saw through her eyes._

_"Come over here," Kondou-san waved the young girl over with a massive grin, "you said you wanted to me to introduce you to Toshi."_

_She wanted to meet me? This was the first time I was at this dojo, so she shouldn't have heard of me about me from the others that attended this dojo. Perhaps it was Kondou-san that mentioned me to her when he returned from the degeiko? If Kondou-san was the one that mentioned me to her then Kondou-san must have been rather close to her. She was probably one of his relatives._

_"Someone wanted to meet me?" I asked as I watched her approach me and Kondou-san. She watched me with big eyes before she came to a stop in front of us._

_"Toshi, this is my daughter, Shizuka." Kondou-san introduced her to me._

_His daughter? Kondou-san had a daughter? I didn't expect that. Suddenly, I wanted to make sure that she liked me more than before. She was Kondou-san's child, so I wanted to be viewed in a good light._

_"Shizu-chan, this is Hijikata Toshizo." Kondou-san continued with his introductions as he gestured to me._

_"It's nice to meet you, Hijikata-san." she greeted me politely with her fairylike voice as she bowed before turning to greet Gen-san. "Good afternoon, Inoue-san."_

_She was extremely polite. A mark of a well raised child. Kondou-san obviously did an excellent job raising her._

_"Ah, good afternoon to you too, Shizuka-chan." Gen-san greeted the little girl fondly._

_"It's nice to meet you too, Shizuka-chan." I greeted her after Gen-san as I knelt down to her height to appear friendlier. I didn't want to scare her off by being over imposing with my height. I then turned to Kondou-san after I greeted her to say, "I didn't know you were married." I kind of wish Kondou-san told me before._

_"Oh! I'm not married yet." Kondou-san answered sheepishly._

_Wait…so he wasn't married? How did he have a daughter then? He wasn't the type to have children outside of marriage._

_"Shizu-chan here isn't my daughter by blood, but I was the one that found and raised her." Kondou-san continued. So he found her? Then does that mean she was abandoned by her blood relatives?_

_"That's very generous of you!" I replied truthfully. To be able to take in an abandoned child and raise her as his own… Just as I thought, Kondou-san truly was a great man. "And you raised her so well, she's very polite." I said before returning my focus back onto her. "So Shizuka-chan, how old are you?" I asked._

_"I'm eleven." she answered me back so bluntly that I thought I misheard her. But I must have misheard her! She's eleven and she's still this small?!_

_"What?! You're eleven?" I voiced my surprise. "You speak well for an eleven year old. How are you this tiny?"_

_"Well, you see," she started, "I was really a thirty-one year old woman from the future who died in a horrific accident before I was reincarnated into the past in the body of a premature baby that was a product of rape. So this is why I speak so well and why I'm so tiny."_

_What? I could have sworn she was being sarcastic or joking since there was no way any of that could be true, but at the same time, it felt like she was telling the truth without expecting me to believe her. And even if she was making the story up, the things that she said…rape, premature baby? She was no normal little girl. A normal girl her age wouldn't speak like that._

_Kondou-san and Gen-san merely laugh heartedly at her explanation like they thought she was joking, but I didn't think it was a joke._

_"She's a piece of work, isn't she?" Kondou-san said with fatherly pride._

_"Well," I replied as I stood up again, "she certainly isn't like all the other kids her age I've seen."_

_I quickly glanced back down at her only to see here glance back at me curiously. I could almost hear her calculating something in her head before she asked Kondou-san, "Otou-san, would you like me to get everyone some tea and snacks?"_

_"Oh! That would be much appreciated! Thank you, Shizu-chan." Kondou-san answered graciously._

_Before she completely left the room, she paused to ask me, "Hijikata-san, do you have any preferences to what snacks you would like to eat? Are there any allergies I should be aware of?"_

_"Ah, anything's fine and as far as I'm aware, I'm not allergic to anything." I answered her before I sent her off with a polite nod. Well, that was an interesting experience._

_After I was sure that she was gone. I started a conversation with Kondou-san and Gen-san about her. During those short minutes, she stirred up my curiosity about her too. I've never met anyone like her at all._

_"She really is a piece of work and she seems so intelligent too. Is she literate?" I asked._

_"Yes, she is and I believe that she's even more literate than me! She's fluent in Chinese and Japanese." Kondou-san boasted proudly._

_In Chinese too? This girl must have studied the classics and to have mastered the classics at such a young age… She must have been truly gifted._

_"Really? You must be glad you spent the money to hire a tutor for her if she can retain all that information all that well. Pity she's a girl. She would have made a fine scholar." I commented._

_"Well, that's just the thing." Kondou-san said as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I never hired a tutor for her. She was already fluent in Chinese before I started to teach her how to read and write Japanese…"_

_"What?!" I exclaimed in surprise. How was that even possible?! "How the hell does that work?!"_

_"I have no i__dea…" Kondou-san admitted._

_"I remember the day when Isami-san discovered that Shizuka-chan was fluent in Chinese." Inoue-san added to the conversation. "Shizuka-chan was sick with the measles at that time and Isami-san was trying to keep her entertained while she was stuck in bed."_

_"I gave her a blank journal to amuse herself with despite the fact I hadn't started to teach her how to read and write yet and by the end of the week, it was filled from cover to cover with Chinese and medical diagrams that were actually accurate!" Kondou-san explained. "I had never been so surprised in my life!"_

_"Isami-san was so shocked that he ran off to the temple to pray for an entire week without any breaks!" added Gen-san._

_"How could I not?" Kondou-san exclaimed. "Shizu-chan must have been a gift from the gods! How else could a young girl have all that knowledge without a teacher?"_

_I could feel my mouth hanging open from the hearing all this information. My hunch was right. She was no ordinary child. What were her true origins?_

I was quickly snapped out of my musings as a hand came into my line of vision and stole my manjū bun.

"HEY!" I snapped at the thief. Souji grinned deviously at me before he purposely bit into my bun. "That's mine! Go get your own!"

"I already finished mine." Souji taunted me gleefully. "I wanted more and Shizuka only made enough for everyone to have one, so I figured that I would take yours."

What? Shizuka made the manjū bun?

"Souji…" I growled at the bastard. If Shizuka made that bun instead of bringing me one of those standard store bought ones then that meant there were pine nuts in the manjū bun that Souji stole. The manjū buns that Shizuka made were always especially delicious because of this. "GIVE IT BACK!" I yelled as I lunged at him.

"Oh? Hijikata-san still wants it even after I bit into it?" Souji taunted me as he danced away. "Too bad." he gloated before he devoured the rest and ran off.

That bastard. I grabbed my bokken before I gave chase. He wasn't going to get away unscathed with this.


	69. Omake 3

So all the new updated chapters are up. Some of the earlier chapters have been heavily rewritten while the other chapters either had a few new scenes added in or just received grammar check. Unfortunately, I finished the rewrites during my finals weeks, so everyone will probably have to wait a little longer for a new chapter. I can probably get a new chapter up by Saturday, but we'll see. Enjoy the rewrites and please let me know if you see an error or have a suggestion. :)

* * *

**Omake**

**The Talk**

"Hijikata-san, what is it like to have an older sister?" I asked with great childish curiosity as I tugged on his sleeve to get his attention. I had never had an older sister, even in my past life.

"Well," Hijikata-san grinned as he kneeled down to my height to answer me as he pat me on the head, "having an older sister is like—"

Hijikata-san never got to answer my question completely. Before he had the chance to answer my question fully, Otou-san barged into the room looking completely flustered and at lost at what to do.

"AH! There you are Toshi! You have to help me!" Otou-san blurted out all at once in his panic. "Souji just asked me about sex! I'm not ready to have this talk with him yet! What am I supposed to do?! What am I supposed to say?!"

Ah, so that's what Otou-san was so panicked about. It was pretty normal for a thirteen year old boy to ask what sex was. I'm actually surprised that this didn't actually happen a few years earlier. It was pretty cute to see Otou-san so flustered over this situation. He was never really good at explaining these things to the young curious mind.

"H-Hold on, Kondou-san! Calm down." Hijikata-san said in an attempt to calm Otou-san down.

"If I can't explain something like this to Souji, then how am I going to explain it to Shizu-chan in the future?! And then there is the issue of explain her flow to her!" Otou-san continued to panic in an escalated manner as he failed to realize that I was in the room.

"K-Kondou-san! You do realize that Shizuka is in the room, right?" Hijikata-san pointed out, causing Otou-san to freeze just as he was pulling on his hair.

"S-Shizu-chan," Otou-san stuttered as his head stiffly turned to face me, "d-did you just hear everything I said?"

"Yes." I answered innocently with a nod. "Souji asked about sex?"

"Nooooooo!" Otou-san wailed, believing that he just made the whole situation worse. "What have I just done?!"

"I know what sex is and I know what the menstrual cycle is." I said bluntly, causing both men to suddenly freeze and stare at me.

"Y-You do?" Hijikata-san asked in shock when Otou-san turned an interesting shade of blue.

"Sex or sexual intercourse, also known as coitus or copulation, is principally the insertion and thrusting of a male's penis, usually when erect, into a female's vagina for the purposes of sexual pleasure or reproduction, or both. This is additionally known as vaginal intercourse or vaginal sex. Other forms of penetrative sexual intercourse include penetration of the anus by the penis, known as anal sex; penetration of the mouth by the penis or oral penetration of the female genitalia, known as oral sex; and sexual penetration by the fingers, known as fingering. These activities involve physical intimacy between two or more individuals and are usually used among humans solely for physical or emotional pleasure and commonly contribute to human bonding." I recited like an encyclopedia.

I really didn't understand why Otou-san was panicking so much. Sex was just a function that most lifeforms participated in to reproduce, right? Well, unless you were a human or a dolphin, or some other creature that had sex for pleasure too. There was nothing to be nervous about. Actually, no, I retract that statement. STIs were something difficult to talk about. After all, STIs weren't something that was well understood in this era.

"A-And y-you said you know what the menstrual cycle is too?" Otou-san stammered weakly once he got his voice back.

"Yes. I don't have to explain it to you, right?" I asked as I tilted my head to the side. "Based on the definition I gave to you on what sex is, hopefully you're able to tell that I am knowledgeable of the subject area. Although, I can explain it if you want me to. Do you want me to?"

With my answer, Otou-san was reduced into a bumbling mess, like he was completely unsure what to do with this situation and that he just snapped mentally. I stared blankly at Hijikata-san as he tried to revive Otou-san before I turned to leave the room. Before I turned, I could have sworn that Otou-san had just started foaming at the mouth. I just had to have a big mouth. I probably should have just kept my mouth shut and pretended that I didn't hear anything. Seriously, was it just me or did I actually have a severe case of "foot in mouth" sometimes?

So, Souji asked what Otou-san what sex was. If I left the explanation to Otou-san then Souji was probably going to end up with a strange definition of sex. I could tell if I left Otou-san to explain then it would somehow lead to him telling Souji that magical creatures bring couples babies when their ready for one when the topic somehow evolved to, "Where do babies come from?" I quickly set off to find Souji so I could explain to him what sex was in the place of Otou-san. I'm sure that Otou-san would thank me for this later, or maybe he would be horrified at first, but ultimately, I was sure he would be thankful later.

However, before I could actually set a foot outside the room, a hand fell on my shoulder, stopping me from leaving the room.

"Shizuka, it might be best if you stayed here and tried to calm your otou-san down." Hijikata-san suggested with an exasperated expression before he released my shoulder. "I'll explain sex to Souji. It's best to have a man-on-man talk about this. Besides, while your explanation of sex is true, you are missing a couple of important key things, like emotions and duty. Sex is different for a man than it is for a woman."

Ah, so I was missing the emotional key point in my earlier explanation, but I left it out for a reason. I wasn't good with emotions in regard to romance. I had thought it would be best if I didn't try to explain what I didn't understand well. I was always too dense for my own good when it came to the emotion of love.

I had always just thought sex was… Well, something couples did together for fun when they felt strongly for each other, or something certain single people did in a one nightstand when they didn't have a partner. It certainly didn't seem like a duty either. At Hijikata-san's words, I paused to ponder the meaning shortly before I turn back to stare at Otou-san. He was still amidst his panic as he babbled his worries out loud to the wall he was facing. Hijikata-san said he wanted me to try to calm Otou-san down too. He did realize that I was the cause of this mess, right? Wouldn't I just make the situation worse if I tried to fix it?

Before Hijikata-san could leave, I grabbed his sleeve again to get his attention. "What did you mean by the duty part?" I asked. My definition of sex was still set on the 21st century's definition of sex. I probably needed to get this era's definition of sex for everything to make sense. "And what do you mean it's different for each gender?"

He sighed before he settled back down to answer my question. "Unless a woman works in the red-light district, she is never to have sex before marriage or with anyone else besides her husband. When a husband has intercourse with his wife, the main purpose is to impregnate her." he explained. "For a man, other than it being his duty to make sure his wife gives birth to a son to carry on the family name, he is allowed, within societal norms, to sleep with anyone he wants as long as the person is not married to another person."

I frowned at the explanation. So the main purpose of women was to function as the "baby-maker" while the men got to sleep around as much as they wanted? That hardly seemed fair for the woman. Was it really that inconceivable that single women had sex too? That some women had sex before marriage? And what about being a "baby-maker"? What if a woman didn't want to have kids or what if she wanted to do more than just have kids? What if the woman wanted herself and her husband to have a monogamist relationship? She would have no power to make that demand of her husband. I know if I ever got married or was in a relationship then I would want to have a monogamist relationship with my partner. This era's definition of sex sucked.

Hijikata-san sighed at my expression before he knelt back down and patted my head affectionately with a rare gentle smile. "I know it's not something you want, but I'm sure that whomever you end up married to in the future, you will be treated like the Emperor's wife. I'm sure that your future husband won't have a taste for other women and will only want you."

My frown still remain despite his attempts to make me smile. I suddenly wished that I didn't ask. It was depressing how bleak my future would most likely turn out. I was sure I was not special enough to have the future husband that Hijikata-san described.


	70. Chapter 67

So, I finished this chapter a lot fast than I thought I would...

* * *

**Chapter 67**

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." ― Marianne Williamson, _A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"_

I suppressed a shiver as a gust of cold wind blew past me and Ryota on the roka. Unfortunately for me, Ryota seemed to take after his father when it came to weather preferences. The cold didn't bother him. In fact, he seemed to enjoy the cold as much as I hated it. But because he enjoyed the cold, I would suck up my own discomfort and go sit outside on the roka daily to watch the snow with Ryota. Despite how miserable I was in the cold, it was always worth it whenever my son smiled. Just that little smile or a small laugh from him was enough to make my insides warm and fuzzy.

"Have you had enough of the snow yet?" I asked Ryota as he bounced around on my lap while laughing before he tried to reach out and grab a snowflake that fell nearby. "I guess not."

It was already February, but it still snowed like it was December. One would think that it would stop snowing so much and that it would actually start to warm up a bit more. However, this was probably the last snowfall before everything melted. As another gentle gust blew by, I held Ryota a little closer to keep him from getting too cold. Other than it being so cold in February still, we had all received a letter not too long ago from Heisuke. After being in Edo for so long to do some recruiting for the Shinsengumi, he was finally wrapping up his business there and he was set to return in a few weeks. I was excited for Heisuke to come back. It had been so long and he hadn't even met Ryota yet!

"My, Shizuka-chan, what are you doing outside with little Ryota-chan?" an effeminate voice questioned from behind. I looked up and saw Itou-san standing behind me. "It's rather cold outside. Aren't you afraid of your son catching a cold?"

Itou Kashitaro was strange. He was an anomaly. He was…something I couldn't quite place. I wasn't quite too sure what to make of him. While he did look at me like a lecher would when we first met, he never looked at me quite the same way afterwards. I knew he didn't stop because of Souji's threat that night. Itou-san wasn't one to be scared by death threats. The only logical explanation I could come up was that he was testing things that night. He wanted to see how much wiggle room he would have in this organization; how forgiving and how observant the executives were. Unfortunately for him, it appeared that not many of the captains were all that forgiving, Hijikata-san and Souji above all. Hijikata-san was suspicious of Itou-san from the very beginning and disliked Itou-san greatly. As for Souji, from that night on, Souji acted hostile towards Itou-san whenever he could. Souji sent Itou-san sharp quips, sarcastic remarks, and just tried to make Itou-san's life more difficult in general. However, Itou-san didn't seemed to be effected all that much. He retorted to Souji's sharp quips with quips that were equally as sharp, if not sharper. Itou-san laughed off all of Souji's sarcastic remarks like they were jokes and shot his own sarcastic remarks back. Souji's efforts were deflected effortlessly like the way oil repelled water.

Meanwhile, I was more forgiving of Itou-san's actions. He was merely testing his new surroundings and I understood that. His actions almost seemed like something I would do too. After I got over my initial dislike of him, I couldn't help to have my interest peaked. He poked me and tickled me in various ways to see my reaction and to gather information and I would do the same in return. We were both acting like cats who had found their new favorite toy. Over the two months Itou-san had been in the Shinsengumi I had developed a sort of respect for the man. However, that did not mean I had to like the man at all. I admired him in the way I would admire a virus. If I didn't respect Itou-san's capabilities, then that I would have been in for one nasty surprise after another.

"The cold doesn't actually cause illness." I said coolly as I shifted my son in my arms. "It's just a myth. But the cold air may contribute to conditions that lead to illness. However, Ryota is well protected right now. He's still being breastfed and breastmilk helps boosts the immune system."

"I see." he responded back calmly. "As one would expect from an attentive mother and a well-versed doctor. The amount of medical knowledge you have is just astounding."

"Well, thank you. I would hope so, seeing that I am the one in charge of healthcare in the Shinsengumi."

"There's no need to thank him for speaking the truth." a new and unhappy voice cut in. Souji swiftly approached us and inserted himself between me and Itou-san with his right hand resting on the handle of his swords. "In fact, you don't need to thank Itou-san at all. Itou-san, why are you here speaking to Shizuka? Don't you have your own WIFE you should be writing letters to?"

"Wife?" Itou-san replied calmly to Souji's hostile inquires with a sly smile on his face. "That woman and I are no longer married.[1] We divorced a short while back, but if you had been paying attention then you would have known that. My, you sure are ill informed for a captain."

"Hmm? Is that so?" Souji quickly shot back. "I wasn't aware that I was required as a captain to know the personal details of the lives of everyone in the Shinsengumi. We are a special police force, not a therapy group where we must know and care about everyone's emotional health."

"No, we are not a therapy group, but if you were truly the good captain Kondou-san said you were then you would know everything. After all, a good captain would know everything going on within the organization." Itou-san said, hitting Souji where it hurt most. As Souji flinched, Itou-san's small sly smile grew slightly wider before he politely excused himself. "Well then, I must be off. The paperwork won't complete itself. It was a pleasure speaking to you, Shizuka-chan."

Souji ground this teeth in anger and frustration while curling his hands into fists by his sides as he watched Itou-san's retreating back. "That bastard." he snarled to himself under his breath. Worried about Souji's deteriorating mood, I quickly called him to capture his attention.

"Souji." I called his name gently with a small smile.

Upon hearing my voice, Souji snapped out of his anger induced haze and turned to see me smiling at him with Ryota staring curiously at him. He return my smile the best he could with his own shaky smile before he allowed himself to sit down next to me. Quickly looping an arm around my waist, he pulled me and Ryota closer to keep us warm. Ryota, who was happy to be close to his father again, quickly grabbed on to Souji's arm before laughing babyishly once more.

"I thought I asked you to keep away from that snake." Souji said without a hint of anger as he kept his eyes focused on his son.

"Well, it's not like I approached Itou-san. It was him that approached me and you know how Otou-san adores him. I can't be rude to him if he stops by to talk to me, especially because I am the Commander's daughter." I reason with Souji as I snuggled closer to him for more warmth. "Besides, he's interesting."

"Interesting?" Souji said in alarm before he rushed to discredit Itou-san. "How is he interesting? He's a slimy, no good, manipulative, snake of a man. And he's too girly. I bet he's also bad in bed."

"Souji, relax." I said gently as I leaned my head against his chest to ease his insecurity. "I'm not interested in him as a man. He's just like a puzzle to solve. You know you're the only one for me."

"I know… It's just…" Souji said before he let out a large sigh.

"I know." I said before I nuzzled his neck and kissed him briefly.

And as if Ryota wanted to be in on the conversation too, he let out a loud, "Waaaaa" before he tipped over on my lap and landed on Souji's lap causing Souji to cheer up a bit.

"Oh? You want to sit on Tou-san's lap now?" Souji asked Ryota with a teasing grin.

"Hoooohee ma mee." was all Ryota babbled as he tried to sit up again by himself on Souji's lap. Too bad Ryota was still a few weeks to a few months off from actually being able to sit up himself. That didn't stop him from trying though. With a small giggle, I quickly helped sit Ryota up again, but on Souji's lap this time.

* * *

"Ryota, look up at Ojii-chan." Otou-san said with a grin as he tried to get Ryota to look at him, but Ryota ignored Otou-san in favor of reaching for Souji's arm. "Ah, no good, huh? I guess I'm really no match for his otou-san."

"Kondou-san!" Hijikata-san snapped exasperatedly. "We're all gathered here for a meeting, not to play with Ryota. Be more serious!"

"Ah, right!" Otou-san said as he straightened up in his seat again and turned his focus on the map of Kyoto laid out in front of him.

Hijikata-san sighed tiredly a bit before he turned his attention on to me and Ryota. "Are you sure you should be here, Shizuka. We're here for an important meeting and well…" he said before he shifted his gaze on to Ryota, who had just managed to successfully grab Souji's pinkie.

"What? Don't you dare say that I shouldn't sit in on this meeting just because I have a child now." I said with narrowed eyes. "I've always participated in all the meetings and just because I am a haha now doesn't mean I'll stop going to the meetings."

"Won't you and Souji be distracted by your son?"

"Ma, ma, Toshi, just let them be." Otou-san interrupted with a large grin. "They'll be able to focus."

"No need to be so uptight, Hijikata-san." Sano-san said laxly. "Ryota won't be too fussy as long as either Shizuka or Souji is around, so you don't have to worry about Ryota being disruptive."

"Fine, fine. Do what you guys want!" Hijikata-san relented before everyone in the room focused our attention back on Otou-san. Otou-san quickly cleared his throat before speaking up.

"We expect our ranks to swell again." Otou-san said as he started the meeting. "I think it would be best to look for new headquarters, fast."

"The men look like they've got it rough," Shinpachi-san voiced as he looked at Otou-san, "sleeping together all in a huddle."

"But can you think of any place that might welcome US, the Shinsengumi?" Souji asked from right next to me as he allowed his son to play around with his hand. "Ah, Ryota, don't stick Tou-san's fingers into your mouth."

"It would make things easier if we could…" Otou-san said before his voice dropped off as he fell into deep thought.

"Nishi Hongwanji Temple." Hijikata-san suddenly suggested confidently.

"Huh?" Otou-san voiced his surprise before everyone turned their head to focus on Hijikata-san.

I didn't expect Hijikata-san to suggest that temple. It was known that Nishi Hongwanji Temple was often used as a safe hiding place for the Choshu ronin and that the monks in the temple supported the Sonnō Jōi belief. Not to mention, having a temple as headquarters was not something suitable for me. Women in the Tokugawa era were considered unclean because of menstrual blood. We were forbidden from entering temple grounds when we were on our periods or after a certain month of pregnancy. It was feared that a woman would displease the gods if she entered holy grounds when she was pregnant or on her period. If women were forbidden to enter temples on their monthly bleeding cycles then there was no way the monks would allow a woman to actually live on the temple grounds.

After Hijikata-san spoke, everyone fell quiet for a short few seconds before Sannan-san spoke up in disapproval. "Nishi Hongwanji Temple is a hiding place for outlaw, rogue samurai such as the Choshu. I can't imagine they would simply accept us and even less, Shizuka-chan. There is no way the priests would allow a woman to live on temple grounds."

"None of that matters!" Hijikata-san rebutted. "Up till now, the Choshu have been using temples and priests as pretext to do what they want, right? If it comes to it, we will use force to make them consent."

"Wait, Hijikata-san." I spoke up. "While I agree that you have a point, I don't think we should use force. There has to be another way to get the monks of the temple to consent without forcing them to. Imagine how it would look to the civilians of Kyoto if the Shinsengumi forced their way into a temple. The public would say, 'Oh look at those vile, barbaric men of the Shinsengumi, they disregard the will of holy men to get their way!' The Shinsengumi's reputation is already bad enough. No need to add fuel to the fire."

"I agree with Shizuka-chan." Sannan-san said. "Don't you think it unseemly to use martial force to repress the actions of priests?"

"Well, that's true." Shinpachi-san agreed. "It may be as you and Shizuka-chan say, Sannan-san."

"Toshi's opinion is sound, but Sannan-kun's and Shizu-chan's thoughts make sense as well." Otou-san commented as he continued to be deep in thought about the suggestions we presented. This was when Itou-san voiced his opinion.

"Nishi Hongwanji. Is it not good?" Itou-san asked before reaching into his kimono and pulling out a written proposition to place on the floor in front of himself. "I have done some searching as well. Its location and conditions make it an ideal headquarters. As Hijikata-san mentioned, making a temple our base will also let us clamp down on the Choshu. However, Shizuka-chan has a point too. We must be careful of what force we use and how we use it."

"True," Saito-san commented, "the Choshu would lose one of their hiding places."

"Well, I'm sure the priests won't be too happy either way, but being at Nishi Hongwanji would make it easy for us to move if we had to." Sano-san added.

"Yeah, but still…" Shinpachi-san still objected.

"However," Sannan-san voiced almost desperately to capture Otou-san's attention, "a cause of bereft of justice can only lead to ruin."

"Sannan-san." Itou-san said to get Sannan-san's attention. "As always, you are a deep thinker, aren't you? However, pushing things forwards requires forceful and bold tactics. It is true that we must be careful how it is done, but it should be done none the less. I understand if you wish to play things safe, however."

"'Safe'?" Sannan-san questioned as if he could sense something negative coming his way.

"It seems your left arm has become unusable."

What?! Itou-san did NOT just go there. That was uncalled for and Itou-san knew it. His words were aim at Sannan-san to cause harm and to undermine him. At Itou-san's comment, Sannan-san flinched while Hijikata-san's face contorted into a fierce snarl while everyone else's expression grew dark.

"You may have become unable to live as a swordsman, but you should not concern yourself with it." Itou-san continued. "Your wits and thoughtfulness seems more than enough to aid the Shinsengumi."

"Just what do you mean by this, Itou-san?!" Hijikata-san snapped as his anger caused him to erupt.

Startled by the loud yell, Ryota began to tear up and whine in my arms. "Hush now, Ryota. Everything will be okay. Okaa-san's got you." I cooed quietly at him in an attempt to keep him from crying.

"Sannan-san is, as you say, a gifted theorist." Hijikata-san continued to yell.

Seeing how I could not calm Ryota down. I shot a look to Souji before I stood up to take Ryota outside as Hijikata-san continued to snarl at Itou-san.

"However, he is still needed by the Shinsengumi as a swordsman!" growled Hijikata-san.

As I stepped outside. I noticed Chizuru-chan standing outside with a tray of hot tea as she listened in on Hijikata-san's yelling. I shot Chizuru a tired look before I went to stand beside her, while rocking my son to quell his teary whines, so I could still hear what was going on in the room.

"Hijikata-kun…my arm…" Sannan-san said quietly, sounding incredibly upset.

"Oh, dear." I then heard Itou-san's faux gasp. "That was quite rude of me. The most important thing is that your arm heals."

"We've had some differing opinions," Otou-san cut in to try to cut out the argument, "but I say we proceed with Nishi Hongwanji Temple. And as for Shizu-chan living on temple grounds, I'm sure we can work something out with the priests…"

Otou-san's voice suddenly drifted off ever so slightly and the door to the room opened shortly afterwards to reveal that Sannan-san had enough of the meeting and was leaving. Sannan-san paused when he saw Chizuru-chan and me looking up at him with concern.

"Through the addition of a gifted officer, the deputy commander has been relieved of his duties." Sannan-san said self-depreciatingly as he closed the door to the room and began to stalk off.

"Wait, Sannan-san!" I called after him and swiftly sped up to catch up to him. "Wh—"

Before I got my full sentence out of my mouth, Sannan-san cut me off. "Shizuka-chan, you don't need to say anything."

"But…"

"Just drop it. I'd hope you would have enough respect for me to give me some space when I need it. Now if you would excuse me."

Sannan-san continued walking, leaving me behind with Ryota in my arms as I watched his back as he retreated into the dark rooms of the Yagi house. Even though Sannan-san asked to be alone right now, I had known it was a bad idea. Leaving Sannan-san to stew in his own self-loathing was an incredibly bad idea right now, but despite knowing it was a bad idea, I did nothing but watch him walk away.

* * *

"Sannan-san has had it rough, huh?" Sano-san commented as we all; minus Itou, Otou-san, and Sannan-san; sat on the steps of Mibu temple or lounged nearby after the meeting. The snow had melted the week before to signal that spring was coming. The meeting from before had dragged out to be longer than expected and it was now sunset. "The other soldiers have been steering clear of him."

"'Steering clear'?" Chizuru-chan asked.

"Because he has the same attitude with everyone." Shinpachi-san explained. "The soldiers are scared and won't go near him."

"He wasn't that way back in the old days, huh?" Sano-san reminisced. "He was kind, looked out for others…"

"Was calm and friendly…"Shinpachi-san continued, "On the surface."

"But inside, his heart was pitch black."

"Yup. Pitch black." Shinpachi-san agreed with Sano-san before they both broke out laughing, confusing Chizuru-chan.

"Unless we joke about it… We just can't to it, can we?" Souji said while looking forlorn. I sighed in depression before leaning my head against Souji's shoulder.

"Still, that bastard Itou…" Sano-san growled. "His way with words really pisses me off. Like he's putting on airs or looking down at others."

"I don't like him either." Souji said. "Especially because he was looking at Shizuka like a piece of meat on the night he arrived here. Though I acknowledge him as a very talented swordsman."

"I can't stomach him!" Hijikata-san huffed with a sour look on his face.

"So, Hijikata-san, take him back for a refund." Souji quipped. "Be like, 'The Shinsengumi don't need this.'"

"Kondou-san wouldn't allow that, would he? It's like he's infatuated with the guy." snapped Hijikata-san

"Jeez, you're useless, aren't you?" Souji complained. "Doing the unreasonable is your job, Mr. Oni Vice Commander."

"Then Souji, why don't YOU become vice commander?" Hijikata-san growled in annoyance.

However, Souji just merely laughed in response before saying, "No way, that's too much work. Besides, can't we just leave this to Shizuka? She was the one that set everything up so we could get rid of Serizawa smoothly. Can't she just do something like that again to get rid of Itou-san?"

At Souji's words, everyone looked at me expectantly before Hijikata-san asked, "Well, are you up for it?"

Seriously? They were actually thinking about that option?!

I sighed before responding, "Itou-san will be a lot more difficult to deal with than Serizawa was. Itou-san is smarter, trickier, and just more difficult to kick out in general. So many things could go wrong due to Itou-san's perceptiveness. It'll just be easier to serve him a poorly cleaned plate of fugu. Or I could use arsenic. If Itou-san is going to die, might as well make sure he doesn't look so pretty when he dies. Acute arsenic poisoning does cause gangrene of limbs and hair loss."

"I guess not." Hijikata-san muttered under his breath at my answer before he averted his gaze. "We want to kick him out of the Shinsengumi, not kill him."

"Yet." I added nonchalantly as I watched Ryota drift asleep before I passed him to Souji. There was probably a chance we would get annoyed of Itou-san faster than we would be able to get rid of him. I'd have to agree with Souji's mentality here. It would just be so much easier if we killed him.

Chizuru-chan shuttered at my words before she turned to Saito-san, who was quiet this whole time. "Saito-san, do you not care for Itou-san either?"

Saito-san raised his head to glance at Chizuru-chan briefly before answering, "Having men of different thinking join us will diversify our organization. However, if we try to FORCE diversity, it could cause things to collapse from within."

I sighed once more before I stood up. "Chizuru-chan, come on. The sun is setting. We should both be in the kitchen by now to cook dinner."

"O-Oh, okay!" Chizuru-chan yelped before she quickly scramble after me.

"Souji, can you but Ryota to bed?" I asked before I completely left Mibu temple.

"Sure." Souji said as he stood up himself and quickly jogged to catch up to me and Chizuru-chan so we could walk back to headquarters together.

As we the three of us and Ryota headed back to headquarters, we walked in a comfortable silence until Chizuru-chan spoke up.

"Umm… Shizuka-chan?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you really mean it when you suggested poisoning Itou-san?"

I looked at Chizuru-chan briefly through the corner of my eye before I bluntly answered, "Yes."

"B-But you're a doctor!" Chizuru-chan objected. "Doctors are supposed to help people not kill them!"

"True." I answered flatly. "But I am also a wife, a haha, a daughter, and an imōto before I am a doctor. I would protect my family at no matter the cost if there is someone who would cause my loved ones harm. I would kill, even if it's against my beliefs. You should probably remember this for future reference."

For the first time since Chizuru-chan arrived, she looked at me with undisguisable fear. She fell silent for the rest of the walk back to headquarters and didn't even attempt to start a conversation with me while we were preparing dinner.

* * *

I held Ryota to my breast before he latched on to feed. Ryota was now sleeping longer now through the night and only woke up one to two time to breastfeed now that he was five months old. However, because he was older now, he also had a larger appetite now too. And now he was five months old, I could probably begin slowly introducing him to solids, but I was going to keep breastfeeding him while I could because of the benefits of breastmilk.

"Mmm… Shizuka?" Souji mumbled before he stirred and opened one eye to watch me breastfeed.

"Sorry, did I wake you?"

"It's fine." Souji said before he got out of the futon to light the lanterns. "If you need to breastfeed our son, you can light a few lanterns. You don't need to breastfeed in the dark."

"But you have work tomorrow. If I light the lanterns then wouldn't I be waking you up more than needed? You need to sleep well."

"It doesn't matter. I'm always awake when you breastfeed." he said as he sat back down on the futon next to me. "It just doesn't always look like it."

"Really?" I asked as he allowed me to lean against him. "Why do you never say anything?"

"Because you'd worry unnecessarily, like you are now." he said as he raised his eyebrow at me. Oh, he was being cheeky with me right now! Souji grinned at me before he wrapped his arms around my waist and watched Ryota eat, but not before he lightly squeezed my other breast with a mischievous expression. "But it has been ages since we've last had sex. The last time was right before you went to Osaka the year before. I miss it. Whenever I see Ryota nursing, I can't help but feel a little jealous. It kind of makes me wonder what breastmilk tastes like and if you'll let me have some." he teased.

"S-Souji!" I stammered before I averted my gaze with a light blush sitting on my cheeks. However, because I averted my gaze I saw an unopened letter sitting on my desk with the seal of the Fuma Clan on it.

That was interesting. The letter wasn't there this morning. It must have been delivered when I was at the meeting with the others earlier in the day.

"Shizuka?" Souji asked when he realized he lost my attention. "What is it?"

"That letter wasn't there this morning." I said as I gestured to the desk. "Can you go get it for me and read it out loud?"

"Sure." he said as he complied with my request and went to go get the letter. He grabbed the letter off the desk before he returned to his seat next to me and opened the letter.

"What does it say?" I asked as Souji skimmed through the letter quickly before delight filled his face.

"Your equipment needed for Sannan-san's nerve graft is done."

"What?! Really?!" I exclaimed in joy as I quickly leaned over to where Souji was and read the part that he was pointing to.

_Shizuka, the equipment you've requested has been completed and thoroughly tested. However, since it is so large, we must disassemble it and ship it over to you in pieces. All the pieces should arrive within two weeks of you receiving this letter and Kenji should be able to put together the equipment once all the pieces arrive._

I busted out into giggles at the news. It was finally complete! Sannan-san only had to wait two weeks for his surgery now! This was the best news I had heard in ages.

"I'm going to go tell Sannan-san as soon as Ryota is done eating." I declared happily.

"Huh?" Souji said at my declaration. "Shizuka, it's the middle of the night. Shouldn't you wait until morning to go find Sannan-san?"

"No need." I answered. "We both know Sannan-san doesn't sleep as much as he needs to anymore because he is constantly worrying about his arm. In fact, Sannan-san might finally be able to sleep again once I tell him the news."

As soon as Ryota finished eating, I passed him off to Souji so Souji could burp him before I rushed to clean myself up. When I was done, I quickly grabbed the letter and ran out the door in search for Sannan-san. Because Sannan-san rarely slept anymore, I was sure he wasn't in his bedroom. The only other place he could possibly be was in his laboratory where he worked on the Water of Life. However, as I sprinted past Chizuru-chan's door, I noticed it was wide open and she was missing. Where did she go? It was probably nothing to worry about. She probably just got up to go get water to drink or to go use the facilities.

As I approached Sannan-san's laboratory, I heard the sounds of a struggle. Something wasn't right.

"Sannan-san!" I heard Chizuru-chan cry in desperation. "No! Don't drink it!"

Don't drink what? No! It couldn't be…!

Running as fast as I could now, I ran until I skidded to a stop in front of the open laboratory doors to see the most horrifying sight I had ever laid eyes on. Chizuru-chan was gripping Sannan-san's arm tightly as he attempted to drink the vile red liquid in the small bottle that Chizuru-chan was trying so hard to keep from Sannan-san's mouth.

"Sannan-san! No! Don't do it!" Chizuru-chan continued to cry as she tried to prevent Sannan-san from putting the bottle to his lips.

"Yukimura-kun, let go of my arm! At least let me die as a swordsman, as a man! There is no point in living as a corpse and that is all I am because I can no longer wield a katana!"

"No, Sannan-san! Think about how sad everyone would be if they discover what you did! There has to be another way!" she exclaimed as she pulled on Sannan-san's arm with all of her strength.

At that moment, all that was keeping Sannan-san from becoming a rasetsu was Chizuru-chan's weak and feeble grip on his arm. Chizuru-chan, who couldn't even fight well because of a lack of skill and PHYSICAL STRENGTH. At that moment, I had never been so scared in my life.

* * *

[1] Itou was originally married to the daughter of his kenjutsu teacher, Itou Ume, in 1861. She was completely opposed to his going to Kyoto. Soon after his departure, she wrote a letter claiming that his mother was ill. Itou came home at once, but on finding out she had lied, he immediately divorced her and returned to Kyoto.


	71. Chapter 68

**Chapter 68**

"There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, Morrel, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life… Live, then, and be happy, beloved children of my heart, and never forget, that until the day God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these two words, 'Wait and Hope'." ― Alexandre Dumas

"Sannan-san, DON'T!" Chizuru-chan cried once more as I saw her grip on Sannan-san's arm weaken and slip a bit.

That was all I needed to see to snap out of my horror induced haze. Grabbing the first thing I could put my hands on, which was a large book from a stack near the doorway, I hurled the book at Sannan-san's arm and knocked the tiny bottle of the red liquid out of his hand, causing it to fall to the floor and spill all over the tatami mats.

"Sannan-san, what are you doing!?" I cried as I ran forward to try to help Chizuru-chan restrain him as he tried to reach for the half empty bottle now lying on the floor.

"Yukimura-kun, Shizuka-chan, release me at once!" Sannan-san howled as he continued to struggle in mine and Chizuru-chan's grasps. "You don't understand what it's like to suffer like this! Either let me drink the Water of Life or let me die!"

"Over my dead body!" I cried as my grip slipped on him too. Despite losing function of one of his arms, Sannan-san was still fairly strong and while I was not like Chizuru-chan when it came to training, I still lacked in physical strength. "I won't let you do either!"

"Sannan-san!" Chizuru-chan cried as Sannan-san's arm inched a tiny bit closer to the bottle on the floor.

We were being incredibly loud, so why was it that no one else showed up yet? Chizuru-chan and I needed help. There was no way we could keep Sannan-san from taking the bottle, he was still physically stronger than the both of us and he was desperate, thus fueling his strength even more.

"Chizuru-chan, call for help!" I yelled over to her as I managed to kick the bottle a bit further from Sannan-san. "We can't handle this by ourselves!"

"Someone! Someone, please help!" Chizuru-chan sounded the alarm loudly in hopes of help arriving.

"Release me at once!" Sannan-san demanded as he once more inched closer to the half empty bottle.

Then a sweet sound finally reached my ears. It was the thundering of footsteps quickly approaching our location. Everything was going to be fine! Help was going to arrive and stop—!

Sannan-san who heard the footsteps too, did not take it to be a good thing like I did. In one final push, Sannan-san threw me and Chizuru-chan off of him and reached down to pick up the half empty bottle. Once he had what he wanted in his hand, he brought the bottle to his lips, but before he could tip the bottle to empty its contents into his mouth, the door slammed open. Helped had arrived, or was it too late?

"Sannan-san!" Hijikata-san yelled before he instantly ran forward and knocked the bottle out of Sannan-san's hand before the first drop of the Water of Life touched Sannan-san's lips, spilling the rest of the vile liquid on the floor.

"NO!" Sannan-san cried in distress as he ran towards his desk in an attempt to find another bottle of the Water of Life.

Seeing Sannan-san move for his desk, Hijikata-san quickly gave Sannan-san a quick jab to his solar plexus. This was enough to make Sannan-san stagger a bit and give time to Souji and Saito-san to grab on to Sannan-san's arms to restrain him.

"Release me this instance!" Sannan-san cried as he continued to struggle. He was mentally unsound now. His own self torture and his own sense of uselessness had finally driven him to this state.

It was at this moment, Chizuru-chan, who had gotten back on her feet after Sannan-san had thrown her off of him, fainted. Quickly, Hijikata-san caught her before she fell to the ground again before he gently laid her on the floor with a sour expression on his face.

"Sannan-san!" Souji grunted out as Sannan-san nearly pulled out of his grasps.

Sannan-san gave out one more loud feral yell of frustration before I finally had enough. If I hadn't decided to go find Sannan-san earlier…the thought of that alone was enough to make me shiver.

"Someone quickly put Sannan-san out before he does any more damage to himself." I ordered firmly before I finally stood up and brushed myself off. Swiftly following my orders, Saito-san gave Sannan-san a firm chop to the back of his neck to knock him out.

"Vice Commander, what do we do now?" Saito-san asked as soon as Sannan-san was out cold.

Hijikata-san stood up after hovering over Chizuru-chan for a short moment before he gave his orders. "Shinpachi, take the Maekawa house and Sano-san, you take the Yagi house. Watch the soldiers' movements and let no one approach this room! Sannan-san made a rather loud commotion and I'd be surprised if no one woke up from that." he said in a businesslike tone.

"Okay!" Sano-san said as he and Shinpachi-san accepted their orders and went to go carry out their tasks.

"Saito," Hijikata-san then said as he turned to Saito-san, "standby in the garden. Keep Itou's men in check."

"Understood." Saito-san said before he left Sannan-san to Souji and left the room for the garden.

"Hijikata-san, I'll stay here." Souji said as he shifted his gaze to Sannan-san on the floor.

"Alright." Hijikata-san answered quietly before he turned to me. "What happened? Did Sannan-san drink any of the Water of Life? The bottle was already half empty when we arrived."

"He didn't drink any." I said with a tired sigh before I turned to Souji. "We need to move him out of this room so he doesn't have an adverse reaction to seeing the Water of Life and the equipment used when he wakes up. The last thing we need is for Sannan-san to work himself into another frenzy after he's calmed down. I'll explain everything that happened on the way."

Hijikata-san nodded before he moved to help Souji carry Sannan-san. "Let's move him to another unused room in the Maekawa house. We can't move Sannan-san without being seen if we leave the Maekawa house and we want to remain hidden." he said as he threw Sannan-san's left arm over his shoulders while Souji took care of the other side.

"Wait, what about Chizuru-chan?" I asked when I saw Hijikata-san move to help Souji. "We're not just going to leave her here on the floor, are we?"

"We can worry about that later." Hijikata-san sighed tiredly in irritation. "She won't be waking up anytime soon. I'll come back for her AFTER we move Sannan-san and deal with her then."

"So, what happened, Shizuka?" Souji asked as we moved Sannan-san out of the laboratory.

"Well, after I left our bedroom to go find Sannan-san, I came across Chizuru-chan trying to prevent Sannan-san from drinking the Water of Life. I knocked the bottle out of his hand, causing about half the contents to spill on the floor before I rushed in to help Chizuru-chan restrain him as he reached for the bottle on the floor again." I explained as we arrived at another room further down the hall.

"What was Chizuru doing with Sannan-san?" Hijikata-san questioned me as the sour expression that was on his face earlier resurfaced.

"I don't know." I said as I opened the door to the room for everyone before heading to the closet to find a futon that Sannan-san could be laid down on. "All I do know is that if she wasn't their then there would be a really good chance that Sannan-san would no longer be human right now. So, don't be too harsh with her later."

Hijikata-san tsked in frustration as he and Souji laid Sannan-san on the futon before he asked, "Why were you looking for Sannan-san in the middle of the night?"

Souji and I turned to look at each other silently before I reached into my sleeping robe and pulled out the slightly crinkled letter before handing it to Hijikata-san.

"This is…?"

"Just read it, Hijikata-san. It'll explain itself." I said.

As Hijikata-san skimmed over the letter quickly, his eyes widened. "You can operate now?!" he asked with a strange amount of excitement in his voice.

"Yes." I answered as I reached into my hair to try to brush a knot out. "Now, shouldn't you be going to take care of Chizuru-chan now? And don't kill her if she knows about the Water of Life. None of this was her fault, plus, I might need her extra hands with Sannan-san's operation later."

Hijikata-san nodded before leaving the room with a much happier expression than when he first entered it. After Hijikata-san left, Souji and I settled in our seats next to Sannan-san.

"Where's Ryota?" I asked Souji. I sincerely hope Souji didn't leave our son unsupervised in our room, even if Ryota was asleep.

"I left him with Kondou-san." Souji said as he reached over so he could run his hand through my hair. "I ran into Kondou-san after Hijikata-san told Kondou-san to stay in his room and let the captains take care of the disturbance. I dropped Ryota off with Kondou-san before joining everyone else. Do you want to go check up on our son now?"

"No, it's fine. If he's with Otou-san then there is nothing to worry about. Right now, Sannan-san needs the most supervision. I'm going to put Sannan-san on suicide watch." I said with a tired sigh before leaning against Souji's shoulder.

Souji removed his hand from my hair to wrap his arm around my waist. "Suicide watch?" he asked.

"Yeah. When Chizuru-chan and I were restraining him earlier, Sannan-san told us to either let him drink the Water of Life or let him die. Hopefully, after hearing the news I can operate on his arm in about two weeks, will stabilize him mentally again. I can't believe he got that desperate." I said before I realized something. Souji wasn't in his nightwear anymore. In fact, nobody was except me. Don't tell me…

"What is it, Shizuka?" Souji asked as he saw my expression change.

"I noticed it took a strangely long time for everyone to arrive at the scene and also, while it is still in the middle of the night while everyone should be sleeping, everyone was dressed in their day clothes. Don't tell me…the reason everyone was slow to arrive was because everyone decided to get dressed first…?"

"Well, you didn't expect everyone to run out of their rooms without getting dressed first, did you?" Souji said with a playful arch of his brow. "Gosh, we're not barbarians, you know?"

"I swear, you men are like women sometimes." I grumbled under my breath as I turned my focus back onto Sannan-san. "Always worrying about appearances…"

Souji merely chuckled at my response.

* * *

"How is Sannan-san now?" someone asked Souji and me from behind as the door opened. It was Inoue-san with a very fussy Ryota in his arms.

"He's still out cold." Souji answered as he watched Inoue-san pass Ryota to me.

"Ah, he's hungry." Inoue-san explained to me before he turned to Souji. "Everyone is gathering in the main hall for a meeting about last night right now. I came to get you for the meeting. It should be okay to leave Sannan-san to Shizuka-chan right now."

"Alright." Souji said as he stood up to follow Inoue-san to the main hall, but before they could both leave the room, I stopped them.

"Wait, before you leave, can you tie Sannan-san up for me?" I asked. "I saw some rope in the closet last night when I went to pull out the futon."

"What?" Souji asked in surprise.

"Why do you want us to tie Sannan-san up?" Inoue-san asked with slight disapproval. "Didn't he already suffer enough last night? Sannan-san shouldn't have to suffer from being tied up like a prisoner or a criminal. Plus, he's unconscious."

"He's still knocked out now, but what happens when he wakes up? I wasn't strong enough to restrain him with Chizuru-chan's help last night, so what makes you think I can if he wakes up when you guys leave? I can't handle him by myself, least of all with Ryota in my arms." I said as I gestured to Ryota, who was pushing his face against my breast as he loudly whined for milk. "Besides, Sannan-san threw me to the ground last night and I'm mad at him."

Souji snorted at my last reason. "Of course you are, but I can see your point." Souji answered as he headed towards the closet to pull out some rope. "Gen-san, why don't you go ahead? I'll catch up after I tie Sannan-san up."

"But… Very well." Inoue-san relented before he left the room, leaving Souji to tie up Sannan-san.

Before Souji began tying Sannan-san up, he passed a towel that he pulled from the closet, to me.

"Hmm? This is for…?" I asked as I took the towel.

"For you to cover yourself up when you breastfeed. Sure, Sannan-san is still knocked out now, but he might wake up while you're breastfeeding. By the way, you should hurry up. Our son looks like he's getting impatient." he said as he began tying Sannan-san's hands together behind Sannan-san's back.

"Oh, right." I said. Ryota was now whining even louder in frustration as he pushed his nose against my breast when he couldn't find a nipple to suckle on. I quickly put the towel over my shoulder with enough to cover my front before I loosened my kimono under the towel and held Ryota to my breast. "Make sure you tie Sannan-san up extra tightly." I nearly sang after Ryota began suckling with fervor.

"Heh, you really are more sadistic when you're mad at someone." Souji commented with a wry smile as he tightened the ropes. "So, I'm expect Sannan-san will receive the cold treatment from you for a while after he wakes up?"

"Of course." I huffed. "You should know best by now."

Souji chuckled at my response before he finished tying up Sannan-san. Souji pecked me on the lips briefly before he left the room to go attend the meeting, leaving me and Ryota alone with Sannan-san.

* * *

"Oh, my head…" Sannan-san said as he stirred two hours later.

I turned my attention from Ryota, who was sitting upright on the floor nearby as he played with my handkerchief, onto Sannan-san.

"Shizuka-chan?" Sannan-san question groggily as he tried to move. "Why am I tied up?"

"Remember what happened last night?" I huffed coolly at him. "Not only did you say you would rather die if you didn't drink the Water of Life, but you threw me to the ground last night when I tried to stop you. This is a precaution, and it's also because I'm upset with you. Now that you're awake, go reflect on your actions."

"I see… So I failed last night." Sannan-san said with remorse as everything came back to him. "You couldn't possibly understand what life is like for me now that I am a cripple. I thought you would understand my pain better if I told you I'd rather die, but it seems it's what got me tied up like this."

"No," I retorted standoffishly, "what got you tied up is that you threw me to the ground last night. I'm still mad at you. Right, Ryota? Okaa-san is mad at Sannan-oji-san for being mean to Okaa-san."

"Haaa haaa! Kaaaa!" Ryota babbled in response before clapping at the end and tipping over on his side.

"Well, anyways…" I said as I helped Ryota sit back up before reaching into my nightwear to pull out the letter with the good news. "Fear not, Sannan-san. I can fix that arm of yours in about two weeks."

"What?!" Sannan-san gasped before he narrowed his eyes at me. "You're lying to me, aren't you? This is just your way of getting revenge on me for last night."

"No, I'm not." I said in irritation before I opened the letter and held it in front of Sannan-san's face for him to read himself. Why were some patients just so frustrating to deal with? Sannan-san's eyes grew wide as he finally read the last part of the letter.

"Truly?" he said, sounding hopeful beyond all measure.

"Oh no." I said with biting sarcasm before snapping, "I just wrote this FAKE letter to SPITE you. Of course it's true!"

"Shizuka-chan, that sarcasm of yours is very unbecoming for a young woman, such as yourself." Sannan-san said with a slight frown as he disapproved of my attitude.

"It's also very unbecoming for a gentleman to throw a young woman to the ground." I retorted, shutting Sannan-san up for a good minute.

"I see. So I deserve this treatment, huh?" he said after he found his voice again. "But can you at least untie me now that you told me the news. Now that I know that you can and will operate on my arm, I promise you I won't be drinking the Water of Life or committing suicide anytime soon."

"No." I said with a slight sadistic glee and with a glint in my eye as I grinned down at Sannan-san before I resumed playing with Ryota.

"What?" Sannan-san said before he sighed tiredly with a small smile. "I see… There really is no fury like a woman scorned."

"Nope!" I chirped before I focused on Ryota once more. "Look over here at Okaa-san."

"Kaaa! Mii buza!" Ryota babbled nonsensically in my direction as he pretended to have a conversation with me.

* * *

"Sannan-san?! Shizu-chan?!" Otou-san exclaimed in surprise as he opened the door to the room some two or so hours later with Hijikata-san and Souji. "W-Why are you tied up like that?! Shizu-chan, I understand you're upset with Sannan-san, but there's no need to tie him up like that! Oh goodness, how many times do I have to tell you that?"

"But he deserved it." I pouted childishly while poking Sannan-san's cheek.

"Shizuka-chan, I swear that if you don't stop that then I will bite your finger." Sannan-san retorted in irritation. "You may have tied me up, but you haven't gagged me."

"Shizuka…" Hijikata-san sighed in exasperation at the whole situation. "You…"

"Come on now, Hijikata-san." Souji said with a grin before he held his arms out to Ryota. Ryota, who laughed happily when he saw his father, quickly got on all fours before attempting to crawl towards Souji. The keyword being attempting. What really happened was that Ryota just rocked back and forth on all fours before babbling in frustration when he realized he wasn't moving. "You know how Shizuka gets when she gets mad." Souji said before laughing and went to scoop up Ryota.

"But still…" Otou-san said before dropping the subject as he went to help Sannan-san sit up before untying the rope. "Toshi told me earlier about the letter. You can operate soon, Shizu-chan?"

"Yup!" I said with a smile as I watched Ryota cutely bounce around on his feet when Souji held him up in standing position. "I can technically start the prep work to prepare Sannan-san for his surgery. I'm going to have to recheck all of his vitals and do another blood test to make sure his body can handle the surgery and to prevent any complications that may arise."

"That is good news indeed!" Otou-san said boisterously with a happy grin.

"That is," Hijikata-san added, "but we might have to schedule the surgery after we move headquarters."

"Move headquarters?" I asked. Had it already been decided? "Are we moving to Nishi Hongwanji Temple?"

"Yes." Otou-san answered. "Ah, but don't worry about not being allowed to live with us on temple grounds, Shizu-chan! I asked Itou-dono to work things out with the priests. We can't have our main physician missing now, can we?"

"Speaking of Itou-san…" Hijikata-san spoke up. "He's the reason we're making the move as soon as possible. With all the noise last night, he came to ask us in the morning while we were all in the meeting about what happened last night. At the meeting he saw that all the top officials were present except for Sannan-san and, not to mention, Shizuka was missing too. He put two and two together and figured something must have happened to Sannan-san."

Oh, that was bad. Last night's commotion was caused by the Water of Life, something Itou-san didn't know about and was never supposed to know about. Did they manage to explain their way out of the situation without exposing the deadly secret?

"We couldn't tell him about what really happened last night, so Hajime-kun said that Itou-san was too important to bug over what happened last night and said that we would explain everything in detail later in the evening." Souji said.

"Meanwhile, we can't really say what happened last night." Hijikata-san continued. "Itou-san cannot know about the Water of Life and it also looks bad if we say Sannan-san, one of the leaders of the Shinsengumi, had a mental breakdown last night too."

"Just tell them we discovered that Sannan-san had malaria[1] last night and once Shinpachi-san heard the news, he threw a fit because he misheard the diagnosis and thought I said that Sannan-san was going to die." I said coolly. "It'll explain the commotion from last night, why Sannan-san and I were missing from the meeting this morning, and it's a very believable lie."

"It's true…but I doubt Nagakura-kun will be pleased to be the scape goat…" Otou-san said.

"True, but Shizuka-chan can make it up to him by making as many snacks as he wants later." Sannan-san answered. "But as for moving headquarters…"

"Yeah, it's getting harder to hide things and commotions related to the Water of Life as more people join the Shinsengumi, especially if they're sharp like Itou-san." Hijikata-san said as he crossed his arms. "A bigger headquarters should make it easier and ensure Itou-san doesn't overhear a commotion like this if another one involving the Water of Life should occur. Ah, but don't worry, Sannan-san. You'll still get your operation. It'll only be delayed for about two days. If everything goes according to plan, then we should officially move to Nishi Hongwanji Temple on March 10th."

"I see…" Sannan-san said.

"But for the meanwhile," I cut in, "someone needs to be with Sannan-san at all times as he remains out of sight for the next few weeks until we move into the new headquarters. We need to keep up the illusion that Sannan-san is actually sick and that he is recovering. Not to mention. I would like there to be at least one person keeping an eye on Sannan-san at all times. After the scare from last night, I would feel safer if he was watched constantly."

"Oh?" Sannan-san said as he smiled at me. "I guess that makes sense. It's best to cover all your bases. I apologize for scaring you so badly last night, Shizuka-chan, but do I really need a babysitter?"

"Yes." both me and Hijikata-san deadpanned at the same time.

"Oh my." Sannan-san said with a small smile. "The both of you truly are worrywarts."

"Yes we are." I said flatly before I stood up to leave the room. "Now if you would excuse me, I need to go change out of my nightwear, inform the others about what we talked about here, and cook lunch, since I'm sure no one actually ate anything yet."

"Vee!" Ryota suddenly exclaimed in delight without a care in the world, causing Otou-san to laugh as the seriousness of the situation dissolved.

* * *

"Souji can you burp Ryota while I go get some water to drink." I asked Souji later during the middle of the night right after I fed Ryota.

Thankfully, when we "explained" the situation to Itou-san earlier in the day, he fell for it very easily, especially because I gave him a very clear medical description with plenty of jargon I was sure he did not understand. But the medical jargon was probably what made the lie more believable.

"Sure." Souji said as he happily took Ryota from me, allowing me to stand and head towards the kitchen.

Oh, the past few days were just so stressful. When was Heisuke going to get back from Edo? It had already been several months and it would be nice if he was back already just so he could help around with things. He was always especially eager to help me and Chizuru-chan with tasks around headquarters.

As I was lost in my own thoughts as on the way to the kitchen, a small shuffling sound came from the kitchens. Strange, did Shinpachi-san go down to the kitchen for a midnight snack again? But why would he? I stuffed him full of his favorite foods before he went to bed, so how could he be hungry now? As I entered the kitchens to scold Shinpachi-san for his unhealthy midnight snack, I came face to face with the back of someone I hadn't seen since September.

"Heisuke!" I burst into a loud happy squeal as I tackled him from behind with a hug. "You're back!"

"GAH!" he cried as he fell on his face. "Shizuka-chan?"

"You're back!" I squealed once more in pure delight as I squeezed him tighter. "I expected you to arrive back during the day, not the middle of the night!"

His arrival back at headquarters was the perfect thing to dismiss the stress of dealing with everything that happened recently. Just seeing Heisuke was enough to cheer me up instantly.

"S-Shizuka-chan! Air! I n-need a-air! I can't breathe when you're sitting on me AND squeezing me like this!" he said with his muffled voice as he flailed around on the floor under me before turning an interesting shade of blue. Oops, it seems that I got a little too excited there.

I quickly released him and got off of his back to allow him to sit up on the floor as his normal coloration returned. He rubbed his head sheepishly before he turned around to face me.

"Geez, I knew you would be happy to see be back again, but I didn't expect you to tackle me like that, especially because…" he said before his voice drifted off as his gaze came to settle on my flat belly. "Hey…you gave birth already, right?" he said unsurely.

"Uh huh!" I chirped with a happy nodded.

"Oh, I see… Wait a sec…" he said as he processed my words before his eye nearly popped out of his sockets in excitement. "YOU GAVE BIRTH ALREADY! Man, it's one thing to know it, but it's completely another thing to see your flat belly! So was it a boy or a girl?"

"It was a boy. His name is Ryota and he looks exactly like Souji." I answered back happily with a smile.

"Exactly like Souji? I bet Souji was really happy about that." Heisuke said in excitement. "Can I see him? Oh wait… it's the middle of the night so he should be sleeping… Which begs the question, why are you awake and in the kitchen in the middle of the night?"

"Oh I just finished breastfeeding Ryota and came down here for a cup of water." I answered. "What about you?"

"Instead of stopping at an inn in Osaka, I decided to push on to see if I could arrive back at headquarters before the sunset because I wanted to see Ryota, but I overestimated my traveling speed. I should have stopped at the inn, that way I could have gotten something to eat before going to bed…" he said before his stomach growled. "I'm hungry…"

"Oh! Then let me cook you something!" I chirped before I sprang up and offered Heisuke my hand. "I made some udon noodles before going to bed earlier. If you wait a little longer then I can make you a nice hot bowl of udon."

"Wah! Udon would be great right now!" he exclaimed as he accepted my hand. "Yum! I can just imagine eating it right now!"

"Hehhh? So this was why it was taking so long for Shizuka to return." Souji's voice suddenly came from the kitchen's entrance. I turned to see Souji standing in the doorway with Ryota, who was still wide awake. "He couldn't sleep without his Okaa-san." Souji explained to me as he approached me and Heisuke. "Welcome back Heisuke."

"Hehe! I'm back!" Heisuke cheered happily before he zoomed in to get a good look at Ryota. "Ah, you were right, Shizuka. He looks like he's Souji's miniature copy."

"We he is in a way." Souji snorted as he watched Ryota turn and stare curiously at Heisuke. Ryota continued staring at Heisuke in curiosity before he reached out and…grabbed Heisuke's ponytail and gave it a firm tug.

"OUCH!" Heisuke cried in pain as his hands flew up to his hair to try to untangle Ryota's fingers. "Ow, ow, ow! Let go, Ryota!"

"Buzuwa!" Ryota babbled as he continued to pull. Souji merely grinned and did nothing to help poor Heisuke. Quickly rushing in to save Heisuke, I untangled Ryota's fingers from Heisuke's hair.

"No." I said to Ryota firmly. "Bad. You don't pull on other people's hair, just like you don't pull on Okaa-san's or Otou-san's hair."

"Buzi baba ee." Ryota babbled back to me in a complaint.

"No means no."

"Well, unless it's Hijikata-san." Souji added in with a grin.

"What? No! Souji, stop encouraging Ryota to irritate Hijikata-san so much." I scolded Souji.

"Hiji yeee, yeee!" Ryota exclaimed before he reached for Heisuke's hair again.

"OUCH! RYOTA, LISTEN TO YOUR OKAA-SAN!" Heisuke howled in pain once more as he got his hair pulled on by Ryota once more. "SOUJI!"

* * *

[1] Malaria is a mosquito-borne infectious disease of humans and other animals caused by parasitic protozoans (a group of single-celled microorganism) belonging to the genus Plasmodium. Malaria causes symptoms that typically include fever, fatigue, vomiting and headaches. In severe cases it can cause yellow skin, seizures, coma or death. The disease is transmitted by the biting of mosquitos, and the symptoms usually begin ten to fifteen days after being bitten. If not appropriately treated, people may have recurrences of the disease months later. In those who have recently survived an infection, re-infection typically causes milder symptoms. This partial resistance disappears over months to years if the person has no continuing exposure to malaria.


	72. Chapter 69

**WARNING:** Sexual content

So a little bird told me that a certain someone wanted to see some jealousy and smut ;). But either way, nothing too important happens in this chapter and it really just serves as a buffer so I won't have too much action too close together. Hint, Kazama is going to appear soon.

* * *

**Chapter 69**

"I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer." ― Woody Allen

"What about these?" I asked Hijikata-san as I balanced a monstrous stack of papers in my arms. Oh, it would be such a nightmare if a strong wind suddenly blew in through the open doors. Death by paper cuts, anybody? "Where would you like me to put them?" I squeaked the last part as I teetered dangerously towards my left.

"Put those in the fifth wicker box to the left." Hijikata-san said, sounding almost bored as he continued to sort through his own stack of papers without looking up at me. "Make sure they stay in order by date."

"Easy for you to say. You're the one that can still see over your own stack of papers." I said just as I avoided tripping over another stack of papers on the floor. "A little more guidance would be nice, or better yet, start handing me piles of documents that I can actually see over. Because, you know, not being able to see where I'm going just makes it a tad bit more difficult to follow your instructions."

"Kaaa okaaa, buu!" Ryota exclaimed unhelpfully from Hijikata-san's futon.

Hijikata-san sighed before temporarily abandoning his own stack of papers to relieve me of half my stack.

"Better?" he asked as he raised a single eyebrow at me in mock amusement.

"What do you think?" I snorted before locating the box he told me about previously. "You know that I can't see through solid objects. Why did you wait so long before starting to pack all your paperwork and documents? We're moving headquarters in two days. I would have expected you to be completely packed by now."

"One thing after another just kept popping up and before I knew it, I'm in this situation." Hijikata-san said before he placed the second half of the stack of papers in the box after I deposited the first half. "Grab that stack next and place it in the same box, but make sure it doesn't get mixed up with the other papers already in the box." he said as he gestured with a turn of his head.

"Then why didn't you ask me to help earlier, or better yet, Chizuru-chan. She IS your page. "

Hijikata-san averted his gaze with slight bitterness before he returned to his own stack of documents to continue sorting. Silence filled the room before Hijikata-san murmured, "She seems scared of me again. I don't want to do anything to aggravate her fear anymore."

"Buzu?" Ryota interjected while looking at me as he tried to join the conversion. He certainly was a loquacious baby. I sent a small smile his way and he smiled back instantly, satisfied with my response.

"What happened with Sannan-san must have really shaken her up." I commented on Hijikata-san's words before moving one more stack of paper. "Or was it because you were too harsh with her after she woke up? Maybe a mixture of both?"

"I had no choice." Hijikata-san said after his own internal debate. "None of this information can be leaked and that was the only way to make my message clear."

"Is that so?"

"Hiji, kagu meya!" Ryota jumped in again before putting the corner of Hijikata-san's blanket in his mouth.

"Ryota, no." I said firmly before I went over to the futon so I could pull the blanket out of his mouth.

"Buzi baba ee." Ryota retorted before he reached for the blanket's corner again.

"No." I said slowly and firmly once more with a frown.

At that point, Ryota started to whine, the precursor to him breaking out into loud cries of a long tantrum. Hijikata-san tsked at the sound before he paused his work once more so he could turn to me.

"Take a break and go play with your son." Hijikata-san ordered me in faux strictness. "He clearly wants more attention from his okaa-san right now."

I nodded before sitting down on Hijikata-san's futon and pulling Ryota onto my lap. "Are you sure?" I asked as Ryota's whining grew quiet when he settled down on my lap, obviously content and even a bit smug as he enjoyed his new seating arrangement. "You still have about half of your documents to pack."

"Yeah, I've got it." he mumbled.

Just as I was about to take Hijikata-san's suggestion, I saw Chizuru-chan walk by the open door with a platter of hot tea. If I wasn't going to offer Hijikata-san any help then I would at least make sure he could get some help from someone. It would take forever if Hijikata-san was left to sort through all the papers by himself.

"Chizuru-chan." I called to the meek girl in a friendly tone to get her attention.

"Huh?" she said as she paused nervously and looked to me. "Is there something that you need?"

I nodded with a small smile and waved her over to where I was sitting as I disregarded the nasty look Hijikata-san discreetly shot in my direction. Chizuru-chan cautiously approached the doorway only to hesitantly look around the room before stiffly stepping in, freezing slightly when she caught a glimpse at Hijikata-san sitting at his desk.

"Chizuru-chan, can you fill in for me and help Hijikata-san organize and pack his documents for the move?" I asked her politely. "Ryota is being a bit fussy right now, so my hands are full. If we left Hijikata-san to pack his own papers by himself then he would never finish."

"True…" she mumbled to herself as she quickly scanned the messy room.

"Oi! Don't talk like I'm not here!" Hijikata-san suddenly barked without looking away from his work.

"R-Right! S-Sorry!" Chizuru-chan squeaked out of fear as she jumped at the loud yell.

"Don't mind him." I said as I smiled at her reassuringly. "He's just moody."

"O-Okay. B-But what do I do with this tea?" she asked as she lift the platter up a bit higher to emphasize her question.

"Well, who was the tea for?"

"One cup was for Kondou-san and the other cup was for Sannan-san…"

"You should just drink one cup and give the other to Hijikata-san." I said before pointing out, "Otou-san left for a meeting with Aizu and Sannan-san is being a difficult patient right now because he's not allowed to go outside. It's best to leave him alone for now, especially when he's so testy."

Chizuru-chan nodded before she placed one of the cups of tea on the desk that Hijikata-san was working at before sitting down behind Hijikata-san to sip her own cup of tea before she had the courage to speak up again.

"Umm… What should I do?" she asked Hijikata-san before she shrunk back at Hijikata-san's stern voice.

"You don't need to do anything! Just ignore everything that Shizuka says."

Feeling discouraged and still fearful of Hijikata-san from the events of that night, Chizuru-chan fell quiet as she bowed her head to stare at her own lap while all her remaining confidence melted away.

Well, that was no way to treat someone who was so willing to help. I thought Hijikata-san could just be too prideful sometimes. Looking around, I found a small scrap of scratch paper on the floor nearby. I quickly snatched up the scratch paper and crumpled it up into a small paper ball before flicking it at the back of Hijikata-san's head when Chizuru-chan was lost in her own thoughts.

Hijikata-san growled in annoyance before he swiftly turned to reprimand me, but choked on his own words when he saw my own reprimanding frown casted in his direction. He let out a loud sigh before he rolled his eyes and focused on Chizuru-chan.

"The pile of paper furthest on the right needs to be sorted in order by date, oldest to newest." Hijikata-san mumble sheepishly, causing Chizuru-chan to snap out of her depression and look at Hijikata-san in surprise. "But don't read anything else but the date! Everything's classified and I'll have to kill you if you read the details!"

"Hijikata-san?" Chizuru-chan asked in confusion.

"Shut up and work." he responded bluntly as he resumed his own work again.

Chizuru-chan looked stunned for a short moment before she smiled and complied with Hijikata-san's orders while looking much less fearful of him.

Hijikata-san truly was a soft person under a hard exterior. What he had Chizuru-chan organize were the documentations of the Shinsengumi's finances. It wouldn't matter if Chizuru-chan read any or all of those papers in the pile, especially because they were all old and outdated. He just gave her something to help him with just so she could feel better. Hijikata-san always just had to make himself look like that much of a hardass, didn't he?

"Ebi, ebi, ebu." Ryota babbled cutely as he pretended to speak to me again.

"Oh, what's that?" I played along with him as I tickled his tummy, causing him to let out a loud and happy giggle.

"Buwa ba e."

"Really? Then what happened next?"

Haeve vee!" Ryota exclaimed as he clapped his hands.

"Do you really understand what he's saying?" Hijikata-san cut in as he arched his brow at me.

"Not really." I answered as I continued to tickle Ryota. "He just seems to like it when I do it, so what's the harm?"

"Yeah, what's the harm?" someone parroted me from behind the wall before he, or rather, they popped their heads into the doorway. First came Shinpachi-san's head in the middle, then came Sano-san's above with Heisuke's on the bottom.

Hijikata-san furrowed his brow to form a sour expression before putting his calligraphy brush down on the table in a brisk jerky manner. "What do you three want?" he growled in irritation.

"Oi,oi, no need to sound so mean and irritated." Shinpachi-san said with a sheepish grin as he entered the room with the other two men trailing in after him. "We just came to see how you're doing."

"Nagakura-san, Harada-san, Heisuke-kun?" Chizuru-chan said as she watched the said men enter the room.

"You three should be packing and preparing for the move, or are you done?" Hijikata-san asked.

The three men exchanged glances before Sano-san's and Shinpachi-san's gazes both settled on Heisuke.

"What?! Why me?!" he complained. It seemed that both Sano-san and Shinpachi-san were already getting back into their normal stride of picking on Heisuke.

"Because you were gone for so long." Shinpachi-san answered with a massive grin. "So you missed the most."

"And now you should do work to get used to being back." added Sano-san. "We can't have you getting rusty."

"Hahh? You guys suck." Heisuke grumbled unhappily before Hijikata-san seemed to have enough of this disturbance.

"Spit it out!" Hijikata-san snap at the three men, causing Heisuke to flinch the most.

"W-Well, er...we… We have a problem." Heisuke said in a small pitiful whimper as he protected his head. It was almost like he was expecting to get hit.

"What is it?" I asked as I moved my head a bit further from Ryota's hand as I saw him reach for my hair. Little Ryota seemed to disapprove of my action before he returned to playing with the fabric of my kimono sleeve, pulling on it as if it were hair.

"Well…" Heisuke said before averting his gaze and mumbling the words, "debt collectors…"

Debt collectors? But the Shinsengumi wasn't in debt. When I last checked the records, we had more money than we usually did because of the reward money from the Ikedaya event. Hijikata-san seemed to have the same question as me too as he shot me a quick questioning look before something clicked in his head.

"I thought I told you guys to stop putting things on your tabs every time you guys head out drinking, among other things!" Hijikata-san harshly scolded the three men. "Heisuke! How the hell do are you in debt too?! You've been in Edo for the last several months!"

"T-That's all Shinpat-san's fault!" Heisuke quickly defended himself. "Shinpat-san started putting everything on my tab while I was in Edo when he maxed out his own tab! And I wasn't around to say no!"

"Hey! Uncool man!" Shinpachi-san immediately said to Heisuke's accusation. "You wouldn't leave a brother hanging dry, would you?"

"Stop using my money! A real man would pay for his own time in Shimabara!"

"You can't use that against me, you scrawny brat! Plus, real men would suck it up and face the consequences."

"Oh, like you?"

At the argument erupting, Hijikata-san faced palmed before turning his attention to Sano-san with a peeved glare. Uh oh, Hijikata-san didn't look too happy about the situation.

"Harada! What about you? Have any outstanding debts yourself?" Hijikata-san barked.

"Ah…well…nothing too bad, but I still have to pay off a small debt." Sano-san said calmly in contrast to the other two. "Although, I'm lacking, no, all three of us are lacking in funds to pay off our debts right now. And because the business owners heard that the Shinsengumi is moving headquarters, they were afraid that we were going to skimp out on paying our debts and are now at the front door demanding what we owe."

Hijikata-san gave out a loud sigh of frustration as he all so gracefully slammed his forehead against his desk, causing Chizuru-chan to jump in her seat at the sudden noise. "Damn it. And this is why no one can take the Shinsengumi seriously, especially when its executives are the ones amassing the massive debts from spending too much time in Shimabara." he mumbled to himself before he raised his head once more to glare irately at the Idiot Trio. "And what are you doing here? Go pay off your debt already!"

"B-But…" Shinpachi-san started in a pathetic sounding whimper, "the reason we came to tell you is because we can't…"

"Not my problem." Hijikata-san said coldly as he turned his back on them in favor of returning to his work. "You three created this debt, so you guys fix it yourself."

"But it wasn't even my fault!" Heisuke complained. "Can you at least lend me some money?"

"No!"

After the three men were shut down by Hijikata-san, they fell silent before turning to stare at me like they just realized something.

"Hey, Shizuka-chan, you love us, right?" Shinpachi-san said, sounding more desperate than before. "You have money stored away, right?"

"I know I said that men shouldn't ask women for money, but times are desperate now." Sano-san added with the same amount of desperation as he clapped his hands together and bowed his head. "Please lend us some money!"

"No, I don't think I can do that now without asking Souji." I answered them sympathetically. "When I married Souji, we combined our assets. So, technically, when I lend out my money I also lend out Souji's money."

Well, technically, according to the law of the Tokugawa government, I didn't own anything myself and therefore had nothing to give. Women weren't allowed to own property and the moment that I married Souji, everything that was supposedly "mine" belonged to him. Thankfully, Souji never really used the law to take advantage of me and he even did the opposite of most households. In fact, I was the one in our household that was in charge of managing our finances. If anyone in the city outside of the Shinsengumi actually knew that, then Souji would be laughed at, but I don't think that would have bothered him too much. He never did care too much for those things.

While women did not have many rights in Tokugawa Japan and often suffered the plight of being powerless, that did not mean all husbands mistreated their wives. A man's wife is the person who was supposed to take care of his household, and give birth and raise his children. It would be in a man's best interest to take care of and treat his wife well.

"What's this about lending my money out?" a wry voice said as a familiar head popped in through the open door. Ryota laughed excitedly at the sound of his father's voice and attempted to crawl towards the voice, but babbled in frustration once again when he realized he wasn't as mobile as he needed to be.

"Welcome back." I greeted Souji as I offered him a soft appreciative smile. He looked absolutely spent. "How did negotiations go?"

Since it was official that the Shinsengumi was going to move to Nishi Hongwanji Temple, we had to negotiate with the priests about having me, a woman, live at the temple. While it was Itou-san that was originally going to negotiate with the priests about working out a deal about my living conditions, Itou-san requested that Souji go with him since I was Souji's wife. Souji wasn't too happy about having to work with Itou-san to deal with a bunch of uptight priests, but he wasn't going to refuse. If the priest decided to deny me entrance to the temple in the end then that meant I had to live offsite and away from everyone in a different part of the city and Souji was not going to have that. No man would feel comfortable having his wife and young son live in a separate house in the City of Ronin.

As Souji opened his mouth to answer me, Itou-san cut him off as he appeared next to Souji shortly afterwards. "The priests are being indecisive on the issue, my dear, and sent us away so they could discuss their options in privacy, but I have no doubt they will say that they will allow you to live at the temple with the rest of the men this evening when Okita-kun and I return to the temple to hear their answer." Itou-san answered with a pleasant smile, either oblivious or ignoring the sour expressions that appeared on everyone's faces; minus Chizuru-chan, Heisuke, and my own face. Like most of the others, even Ryota didn't seem too happy to see or hear Itou-san. "Now what is this about lending money, I hear?"

"I—I mean, we—um—" Shinpachi-san fumbled around as he tried to think of an excuse to get rid of Itou-san before he whispered to Sano-san in a harsh whisper, "Quick, think of something I can say to get rid of him!" They definitely didn't want Itou-san sticking his nose into their business.

"You want me to do what?" Sano-san whispered back in a rush. "You know I can't lie!"

While those two were fumbling about with their words, I waved Souji over to where I was sitting and patted an empty spot next to me on the futon. He tiredly shuffled over to where I was sitting with Ryota and sat down next to me. He looked like he was too tired to deal with the rest of the day.

"Tired?" I asked as I leaned slightly behind him to gently massage his shoulders. He seemed have a tightly wound knot between his shoulder blades.

"That doesn't even begin to cover it." he answered back quietly as he leaned into my touch. "You try dealing with a bunch of pissy priests and Itou-san at the same time and then tell me how that feels."

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

Souji seemed to perk up immediately and grin mischievously when he heard that question. So there was something he wanted me to do for him. "Well, you could—" he managed to say before he was interrupted by Ryota fussing.

"Uppza beet bao!" Ryota raised his voice unhappily as he demanded my attention again. He seemed to adore his father and enjoy it immensely when both his parents were here with him, but he preferred all the attention to be lavished upon himself, not his father. Upon hearing Ryota's complaint, I instinctively turned to focus on him once more.

"Ryota." Souji reprimanded his son with an unhappy frown. "It's rude to interrupt your Tou-san. Besides, you've had your Okaa-san's attention all morning already. It's Tou-san's turn."

After Souji scolded his son, he reached to cup my face so he could have my attention again, but once again failed when I pulled my face away from his hands when Ryota complained loudly again.

"What is it Ryota?" I cooed at my son as he squealed happily once my eyes were on him again. Seeming to sense defeat, Souji sagged almost pitifully when he lost my attention once more. Souji really seemed to be doing that a lot more lately.

"Uhh—well…Shizuka-chan's got it covered, r-right?" Shinpachi-san said loudly, making me snap up to look at him. What did I miss?

"Huh?" I said unhelpfully as I blinked in confusion. What did I have covered?

"You'll help pay off our debts, so Itou-san doesn't have to waste his own money to help us, right?" Sano-san stumbled to clarify the matter quickly in a rushed manner.

As I opened my mouth to answer, it was Souji who cut me off this time. "No, go pay off your own damn debts." he growled, revealing his bad and worsening mood. "It would technically be MY money and I don't feel like helping you guys out at the moment."

"Wah, you don't have to be so mean when you say that! A simple 'no' is suffice." Heisuke complained before turning to Shinpachi-san and Sano-san. "Why don't we just accept Itou-san's help since he offered to help pay—"

Shinpachi-san swiftly bopped Heisuke on the head to shut him up. While Sano-san and Shinpachi-san seemed to dislike Itou-san so much that they refused to let him pay their debts, Heisuke seem to have neutral feelings towards the man. He didn't absolutely love Itou-san, but he didn't dislike him either.

"Oh!" Shinpachi-san suddenly exclaimed like a bolt of lightning struck him. "Saito always seems to have money! He can help us!" Shinpachi-san said in a quick rush before running out the door.

"Right! I can't believe I forgot that!" Sano-san said as he leapt after Shinpachi-san, but before going, he quickly turned to Itou-san to excuse himself, "Thank you for the offer, but we can't possibly trouble someone as important as you with such a trivial matter."

"My, aren't they lively." Itou-san said with another pleasant smile before focusing on Souji. "Well, I suggest that we should get going too. We have some time before we must return to the temple to hear the priests' answer, but I want to go to a sweets shop and I heard you are quite fond of sweets. You're the perfect person to escort me there, Okita-kun."

Souji was definitely unhappy to hear that. He seemed to want to growl and snap at Itou-san like a feral dog, but in a second, Souji instantly schooled his features into a calm professional expression and escorted Itou-san out of Hijikata-san's room.

"Finally!" Hijikata-san sighed when those two men finally disappeared from view. "I was wondering when they would all leave."

"Umm…" Chizuru-chan said as she puzzled over the strange scene that played out just moments earlier in the room, but ultimately fell silent once more before she seemed to decide not to think too much on what happened and return her focus back on sorting the documents.

"Heisuke." Hijikata-san suddenly said as he resumed his steady work on the papers. "Why are you still here? I would have expected you to run off with Harada and Shinpachi."

"Oh, I was just thinking…" Heisuke answered quietly.

"Hey, Heisuke?" I asked worriedly as I shifted Ryota a bit on my lap. "Is it just me or does Souji seem more frustrated than usual."

"Well, yeah." Heisuke said after pondering my question shortly. "But that's probably from having to deal with the Choshu sympathizing priest all morning."

That wasn't the type of frustration I was talking about… Souji had seemed so tense and stressed lately. He often sought my attention and wanted to be touched more often, but often couldn't do anything because Ryota was always around and always liked to interrupt whatever Souji had planned. But it was probably stupid to ask that question when I already knew what he wanted, no, needed.

"That's not the type of frustration she meant." Hijikata-san spoke up nonchalantly, causing both Heisuke and Chizuru-chan to blush bright red when they finally realize what type of frustration I meant. Sexual frustration was what I was asking about. "And yes." Hijikata-san added as an afterthought.

"O-Oh." Heisuke stuttered as he was the first to recover. Was it really that awkward to talk about mine and Souji's sex life? "Um, yeah. He especially seems to be more moody now a days. When…um… When was the last time you two…you know..."

"Before I found out I was pregnant last year." I answered bluntly as I allowed Ryota to play with my fingers.

"Heh, no wonder he's been getting harder to deal with lately." Hijikata-san said noncommittally without looking up. "You need to take care of his needs before he becomes impossible to work with. You know he's not the type to seek or desire the services of an yūjo, especially because he only wants YOU."

"Yeah, I know…" I mumbled as I glanced down at Ryota, who smiled happily again when he saw my eyes on him.

The reason we hadn't been really intimate with each other for such a long time was because of Ryota. It was believed to be bad for the developing baby if the mother had sex. After I gave birth, I had to recover from childbirth and care for Ryota. And even after recovering enough to become sexually active again, my hands were full with Ryota all the time. It was hard as a new mother to balance the needs of my infant son with the needs of my husband.

"Heisuke, who do you 'owe' money to?" I suddenly asked as an idea popped up in my mind.

Heisuke blinked in surprise before answering, "To the owner of Wachigaiya. Apparently, Shinpat-san spent time with a kōshi there and then told them that I would pay for it."

The Wachigaiya was a popular brothel house where many prostitutes lived in at Shimabara. Zero points for guessing what Shinpachi-san was doing there. There were many different ranking prostitutes and courtesans that lived in that brothel. There were the tayū, the highest ranking and most expensive courtesans. Following the tayū was the kōshi; then the average yūjo, a prostitute that specialized in sexual favors.

"I see…" I said as I quickly formulate my plan. "How about this: You take care of Ryota for me and Souji tonight and I make your 'debt' disappear?"

I was familiar with the owner and the working girls of the Wachigaiya because I helped get their STIs under control a while back as a result of the Shinsengumi health checkup back when I was pregnant. STIs were deadly in this era and many of the girls often died before they fulfilled their working contract. If I offered to screen and treat the girls of the Wachigaiya in exchange for dropping Heisuke's "debt" then the owner would surely agree. After all, each girl was an investment and always cost money whenever one of them died. Plus, this way I could prevent the men of the Shinsengumi from contracting an STI whenever they went to go visit that brothel. If the girls were clean then there would be no concerns for spreading STIs.

"What? You would do that for me?" Heisuke exclaimed with stars in his eyes. Ryota may have enjoyed pulling Heisuke's hair, but Heisuke was still fond of him of despite this. This deal was like a reward to him.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'll offer to treat the girls working at Wachigaiya for any sexually transmitted illnesses in exchange for dropping your debt."

"Okay! I'll do it!" he said as he jumped around in his seat before he paused. "But wait… What if Ryota gets hungry? I know he's starting to eat solid foods, but when he wakes up in the middle of the night, it's because he wants milk from his okaa-san."

"Oh, you don't need to worry about that." I said as I pulled my thumb out of Ryota's mouth. "He tends to wake up around the Hour of the Ox. I should be done taking care of Souji by then. Just make sure to knock before bringing Ryota back, okay?"

"Y-Yeah." Heisuke stuttered once more with a faint blush as Chizuru-chan, who was still listening, turned even redder than before.

* * *

After I passed Ryota off to Heisuke for the evening, I rushed back to my bedroom to prepare. There wouldn't be much time since Souji was supposed to return from the meeting the priests with Itou-san in a little bit. The bedroom was mostly empty by now, save for a few necessary items, since I long since prepared for the move to the new headquarters, but it was still mine and Souji's bedroom for now.

Working quickly, I removed my kimono and all my layers underneath, including my koshimaki before I put the outer layer of my kimono back on, with the back collar hanging low to reveal the back of my neck, and secured the kimono with an obi in a knot that was easily able to be untied.

What people considered to be sexy was different for each time and culture, and for this place and era, what was considered sexy was the pure, unblemished skin of the back of the neck of a woman. To the men, it was like seeing a woman with long, smooth legs in high heels in the Modern West. It let men glimpse part of the woman's bare body and left the rest to imagination. What would she look like UNDER those clothes? What would she look like WITHOUT those clothes?

When my obi was tied once more, I pulled my hair out of its normal bun so my hair cascaded down my back before I pulled it over my shoulder so that it wasn't hiding my exposed neck. Souji liked it when my hair was down, but I also knew he liked being able to catch a glimpse of the back of my neck. Just as I was placing my kanzashi on the desk, I heard the telltale sounds of Itou-san and Souji arriving back at headquarters. It seemed I finished preparations just on time.

"Now should we go tell sweet Shizuka-chan about the good news?" I heard Itou-san said from the bedroom while sounding sickeningly sweet.

"I'll go tell her. By myself." Souji seemed to growl and snarl. "You go disappear for the night."

"Oh fine. I suppose you would want to deliver the good news to her yourself so that you can be ready to reap the sweet rewards she lavishes upon you? Oh wait. How silly of me to forget. You have a young son now that needs to be taken care of. She won't have time for you." Itou-san chortled condescendingly at Souji before disappearing into another part of headquarters for the rest of the night.

"Asinine bastard." Souji grumbled miserably, missing the fact that I had left the bedroom and was now approaching him. He didn't notice me until I gently laid my hand against his cheek, causing him to jump a bit in surprise. "Shizuka?" he mumbled to himself as he stared at me with wide eyes.

He did not miss that my hair was down nor did he miss that there was no collar visible from my kimono's under layers poking up from under my kimono. His eyes widened even more when he realized that I was completely bare under the outer layer of ther kimono. To him it was like the equivalent of me wearing a short skirt with no underwear on underneath in modern terms.

"Welcome back." I said with a mysterious feminine mystique as I looked up at him coyly through my long eyelashes.

He seemed to swallow loudly at my display and followed my eyes as they quickly darted back to our bedroom suggestively. It certainly must have had been too long since the last time if I could get him to react like this with a few actions!

"Where's," Souji said before coughing to clear his throat. His mouth had gone dry on him. "Where's Ryota?"

"Heisuke's taking care of him for the night." I answered in a low tone as I let my eyes quickly flicker back to our bedroom again.

Taking advantage of his stiffness and breathlessness. I quickly closed the distance between the both of us just so I could lightly and briefly brush my hands against him through his hakama, causing him to jump up in attention, before I turned around slowly and began to walk back to our room while shooting quick and short glances back at him, beckoning him to follow me. He stood stuck in place as I felt him eye the back of my bare neck. When I finally entered our bedroom again, Souji quickly snapped out of his surprise and briskly followed after me in a very near run. As soon as he join me in our bedroom, he swiftly close the door behind him before he rushed to grab me by the hips to pull me close and place a heated kiss on my lips.

"Shizuka." he mumbled breathily when we parted for air before quickly rushing back in for another kiss, his hands moving from my hips to wrap his arms around my waist so he could pull me closer and flat against his own body.

He excitedly wiggled his hips against mine as his tongue quickly made its way into my mouth. The way he was kissing me was like he was trying to steal my very breath. The amount of heat that was generated between us was incredible. It was like being close to a warm fire as its flames gently caressed my skin without burning, leaving desire trailing its wake. Oh…it really had been far too long. It felt like I still couldn't get close enough to Souji even though I was pressed flat against him.

When he released my lips once again to breathe, instead of continuing the nice heated kiss, he moved his attention to the side of my neck, nipping, sucking, and kissing me before he came to stop at the juncture of where my neck and shoulder connected. He let himself linger there by sucking on that spot as a hand reached for the knot of my obi and with a quick tuck, he pulled it loose before he discarded it by dropping it on the floor.

"It's been too long, hasn't it?" I asked him quietly as I wrapped my arms around his neck so I could reach up into his hair to pull his hair loose so I could freely run my fingers through the length of his hair.

Souji merely grunted as a yes without really speaking as he pushed his hips against me, his now extremely happy friend poking my lower stomach, as he continue to suck and nip at my neck while enjoying the feeling of me running my fingers through his hair soothingly. I laughed softly at his eager response. He really did miss our alone time greatly.

"Go ahead and do what you want." I said softly as I continued to run my fingers through his hair. "I know you've been extremely frustrated lately. Please don't think I haven't noticed or don't care. Let me take care of your nee—"

However, before I could finish speaking, Souji removed his mouth from my neck to kiss me on my lips again, eating my words before they could actually formulate. He then released the tight hold he had on me and eased in a little space between our bodies again. Without my obi holding my kimono shut and without Souji pressing against me, my kimono fell open. He then wrapped his arms around my waist again, but under my kimono this time before he broke off the kiss. Then silently, he looked down at me with a mischievous grin as he wiggled his eyebrows at me before briefly pecking me on the lips one more time and pushing off my kimono completely. He then unwrapped his arms around me and stepped back slightly so he could get a full glimpse of my bare body.

"I missed this…" Souji whispered in a hoarse voice before he approached me again so he could pick me up and carry me to the futon.

Once Souji laid me on the futon, he quickly crawled on top of me and resume kissing me while one of his hands ran down the length of my body, coming to a rest on the top of my hip. As he continued to grind his hips against me, he stopped briefly and raised his hips up slightly so I could reach between us and pull the sash holding his top, brown, outer layer loose before I reached for the cord holding his hakama loose. Souji then quickly sat up so he could discard all of his clothing at once before he quickly rushed to crawl back on top of me. Once he was on top of me again, he focused his attention onto my breasts before he playfully winked back at me. What was he planning…?

Before I could finish my thought, Souji lightly squeezed my left breast lightly, watching in excitement as a few drops of milk appeared. He then lowered his mouth to lap up the few drops before he kissed me briefly again.

"I liked watching Ryota breastfeed, but I also couldn't help but feel envious at the same time." he whispered seductively into my ear as his hot breath tickled me. He then leveled his mouth to my breast again, allowing his hot breath hit my skin and making my nipples perk up in anticipation as he whispered against my breast, "It's my turn now." before he lowered his mouth onto me.

His lips quickly formed a seal around my nipple as he began to suckle while his hand gently caress my other breast. Oh, I had never thought breastfeeding was something erotic, but this…this felt amazing. Before I realized what I was doing my hands got tangled in his hair as I gasped on his name breathily. Oh…

Souji then released my nipple with a pop before he grinned up at me smugly. He then focused his attention on my other breast. He quickly lapped up the milk that had leaked out on the untouched breast that occurred when he was suckling on my other one before he lowered his mouth once more.

"Souji…" I gasped out quietly once more, probably feeding his ego more as I felt him smirk against my breast.

As Souji continued to suckle on my breast, the hand he had placed on my hip moved to my inner thigh. He stroke my inner thigh lightly and attentively before he used a knee to spread my legs. From there, he lightly touched my lower regions with his hand, but it appeared that he wasn't doing that for pleasure. All he wanted to know was if I was wet enough now. Seemingly satisfied with the answer he discovered, he quickly positioned himself at my opening after releasing my breasts from his attention.

"Souji?" I asked questioningly as I furrowed my brows at him in confusion.

He was moving along rather quickly. He was someone who always engaged in foreplay for a lot longer than this. Plus, I never got to do anything for him except lay there. Didn't he want me to do something?

As I prepared to roll over on top, Souji stopped me by firmly, but gently holding me to the futon.

"No, you don't have to do anything." he mumbled into my ear. "I just need you…"

"Then can you at least grab a towel or something to place underneath to soak up any of the potential mess that we'll have?" I asked. "I don't want to have to wash all of the bedsheets tomorrow…"

"I don't want to." he reply as he lightly nipped the tip of my ear. "It's fine if you don't want to wash the bedsheets tomorrow. I'll take care of it. Just let me have this moment."

As soon as he finished speaking, he pushed in slowly, groaning loudly like he was in pain, as he sheathed himself within me. And he wasn't the only one that was vocal. I gasped loudly, almost in surprise, at the sensations my nether regions experienced. It really had been too long since we've been intimate.

After he pushed himself all the way in, he paused shortly to enjoy the sensations before he began moving again, but with an increasing speed.

"Ngh! This first round is going to quick and messy. Mmm!" he groaned out as his hips buckled against mine.

Oh…

What did he mean by "first round"? But I certainly understood what he meant by quick…

Mmph…

It didn't take long for that blissful hot spring to tense and curl up in my lower abdomen as it waited for release. I gasped once more and held onto him even tighter before I suddenly felt a shot of hot liquid released within me. With that release, Souji grew limp against me, but didn't pull out. It was over? I really couldn't help but feel disappointed at the final result. Souji finished way too fast and I didn't even orgasm... But at least Souji was bound to feel better after this and, in the end, that was most important.

However, while I thought it was all over, an amused chuckle from Souji captured my attention. I refocused my vision to find Souji looking down at me in amusement.

"No need to look so disappointed." he said as he poked my cheek playfully. "The first round was just to get rid of my tension."

I blinked at his words. "I looked disappointed?" I blurted out without thinking. Oops?

"You forget how well I know you." he answered with a grin before pecking me on the lips. "I promise the next few rounds will be better."

"Wait, next few rounds?"

"Well, Heisuke's got Ryota for the night, right? I'm not going to waste our few hours of alone time on sleep. And worry not, I can keep going." Souji said cockily.

"But don't you have to wait some time before you can get it up again?" I asked. Men did have a refractory period, unlike women.

"Yeah, but you know, it sure is nice to be young." he answered me with a grin. "I'll be ready to go again in a few minutes, or actually, now."

As he said the word "now" he quickly thrust upwards, causing me to gasp loudly as he caught me completely by surprise. When I recovered from that sudden surprise I caught him grinning at me smugly…so the reason he didn't pull out afterwards was for that? That…that was well played.


	73. Chapter 70

**Chapter 70**

"Life is filled with unanswered questions, but it is the courage to seek those answers that continues to give meaning to life. You can spend your life wallowing in despair, wondering why you were the one who was led towards the road strewn with pain, or you can be grateful that you are strong enough to survive it." ― J.D. Stroube, _Caged by Damnation_

"What do we do now?" Chizuru-chan asked me as we watched Saito-san and Yamazaki-san carry Sannan-san out of the operating room on a stretcher.

"We wait for Sannan-san to wake up to see if the nerve graft worked." I answered before stretching my arms. That was a long surgery, but I'd have to say that was one of the most satisfying ones that I had ever done. If it worked then Sannan-san would have the use of his arm back, with rehab of course.

The day after the move to Nishi Hongwanji Temple, we spent the day unpacking and setting the medical wing up. The next day, Kenji-san and Kyoko-chan arrived with our equipment and helped us put it together. Then the day after that, today, I operated on Sannan-san's arm with the aid of Chizuru-chan and Yamazaki-san.

"How long will it be before Sannan-san wakes up?" Saito-san asked me just as he pulled the blanket up for Sannan-san, carefully avoiding jostling the arm I just operated on.

"He'll probably wake up in an hour or so." I said as I checked the bandaging on Sannan-san's arm one more time before I was satisfied. "Yamazaki-san, can you keep an eye on Sannan-san for me and call me when he wakes up?"

"Of course, Sensei."

"Thank you, Yamazaki-san." I said with a small polite bow before I turned to both Chizuru-chan and Saito-san. "Come on, let's go join the other's for lunch now. I heard we have porridge today."

Saito-san nodded quietly in response as Chizuru-chan nodded cheerfully as they followed me to our new dining area. "Although, I wonder who cooked today?" Chizuru-chan asked with childish curiosity as she put a finger to her lips.

"Well, just hope it wasn't Souji." I answered with a grimace as Saito-san agreed with me. I loved Souji and all, but that did not mean I had to love his cooking. It wasn't as bad has the poison that Hijikata-san would make, but it was still pretty bad itself. Hijikata-san's cooking would kill people, but Souji's cooking would only make people's tongues fall out.

"Ehh?" Chizuru-chan squeaked at my words. "B-But you… It isn't really that terrible, is it?"

"Yukimura, there is no need to look so surprise. You have tasted Souji's cooking too."

"Yes, b-but I didn't expect Shizuka-chan to talk about Okita-san's cooking like that since they're married and all." she mumbled with a small pout as she averted her gaze.

"I love Souji, but that doesn't mean I have to love his cooking too." I glanced back at Chizuru-chan with a small smile on my lips before playfully adding, "If I did then that would mean there's something wrong with my tongue."

"Aww, you don't have to put it that way." Souji said teasingly as he popped up behind us with a pout. Ryota, who was in his arms, wiggled and giggled happily when he saw me and quickly demanded that I held him. Souji grinned at the response and wasted no time depositing Ryota in my arms. "But no, I didn't cook. Kondou-san did."

"Otou-san?" I asked. Otou-san hadn't really cooked for a while since it was mostly me and Chizuru-chan taking care of it with the other guys stepping in when Chizuru-chan and I were unable to cook. "Well, the food should taste alright, but… It'll probably look like an elephant or something sat on it."

"Probably…" Saito-san said as he readjusted his scarf and swiftly moved out of the way when Ryota started reaching for it. "Although, it should not matter since it is porridge."

"Mena bu ohh!" Ryota complained when he missed the scarf by only a few centimeters.

"No, Ryota." I firmly scolded him. "We don't pull on people's scarfs, just like we don't pull on other people's hair."

"Buzu beet va!" he complained before he reached over and yanked on Chizuru-chan's hair instead when he couldn't reach Saito-san's scarf.

"Ow!" Chizuru-chan cried as she stopped walking and her hand instantly flew to her ponytail while small drops of tears formed in her eyes. "R-Ryota! Ouchie! Please let go!"

Souji sighed at the situation before he went ahead and began to untangle Ryota's small fingers from Chizuru-chan's hair. "Oh geez." Souji said as he painstakingly removed his son's hands from the hair. "Sorry about that, Chizuru-chan. He's at THAT stage where he just pulls on everything he can reach. If your hair is dangling in front of him then he WILL pull. This is why Shizuka barely leaves her hair down anymore. Heisuke's already complaining about developing bald spots because of all the pulling."

"Souji, you should discipline your son more." Saito-san said without a pause as he kept walking towards dining area. "Hair pulling is not befitting for a samurai's son."

"Easier said than done, Hajime-kun." Souji said before he sighed once more. "He doesn't really understand the word 'no' yet. Hopefully he'll lose interest in hair pulling now that he can crawl."

"Probably…" Chizuru-chan mumbled in agreement before her face lit up in surprise at the same time mine did.

Wait…crawl?

"Crawl? What do you mean by that?" I asked in surprise as I suddenly turned to Souji. Ryota never crawled when I was with him. He tried but never really manage to succeed. How did I miss such an important milestone?

"Ah, he just started this morning while you were in surgery." Souji answered nonchalantly as he ushered me to the dining area when I stopped to stare at him. "He learned pretty fast too. He first started by moving a few meters, but then once he got the hang of it, he started cruising everywhere. Underneath the roka seemed to be his favorite spot. He manage to get under there when I took my eyes off of him for a second."

"He went underneath the building?!" I shrieked in horror before I stopped walking again and nearly erupted at Souji. "It's filthy down there! And not to mention there are all sorts of insects and spiders underneath there! What would have happened if he ran into a mukade[1]?!"

Souji frowned a bit at my reaction while looking a bit cowed. "But he didn't. He was fine, just a bit dirty after I coaxed him out from under there..."

I sighed as I force myself to breathe. "Anger is not good. It makes me do stupid things." I chanted in my mind like a mantra as I counted to ten to allow my anger to fade. When my anger faded away enough so I wouldn't yell, I noticed that Chizuru-chan and Saito-san had disappeared.

"Huh?" I asked in confusion as I looked around for the missing people. "Where did they go?"

"They ran ahead when you…um…yeah…" Souji said as he eyed me wearily while looking upset before he cautiously raised his gaze to meet mine. "You can be pretty terrifying when you snap like that… You're not going to yell at me again, are you? I kinda want to know if I should run or not."

"No, I'm not." I sighed before taking another deep breath. "Please tell me you gave him a bath too instead of just changing his clothing."

"Yeah, I did. His face was covered in dirt when I finally coaxed him out. I woul—" Souji explained himself before he suddenly stopped and looked over my shoulder. "Um… What are you guys doing?"

At Souji's question, I turned around to see what Souji was looking at. At the doorway to the dining area, there were four heads sticking out and staring at us. It wasn't surprising to see that three of the four heads consisted of the Idiot Trio, but the last head... It was Hijikata-san?

"We heard Shizuka-chan yelling, which rarely happens, so we just had to see what was goin' on!" Shinpachi-san answered back as he grinned at us. "Trouble in paradise?"

"But seriously, that was surprising to hear Shizuka yell at Souji like that." Sano-san added. "Sure, you guys fight every once in a while, but it's never just Shizuka yelling like that."

"Yeah, yeah!" agreed Heisuke. "What happened?"

Souji frowned childishly at those four before he looked away, causing Hijikata-san to raise his eyebrow at the reaction.

"Ho?" Hijikata-san then said with an understanding smirk. "Did Shizuka just—"

"Hijikata-san, shut up." Souji grumbled loudly, causing Hijikata-san to growl back in annoyance.

"I don't even know why I try to help you anymore." Hijikata-san snapped before his head disappeared from view. "You three! Don't bother with them anymore and eat lunch!"

The Idiot Three jumped slightly at Hijikata-san's command before they looked at each other then at me before they disappeared from the doorway all together. I took one more breath before I looked at Souji, who was still looking at the floor. I must have really overreacted if I drew everyone's attention like that. Ah, motherhood, it was hard.

"Sorry…" I mumbled an apology to Souji for my overreaction before Ryota managed to get his hands in my hair and pulled. "Ouch! Ryota! Not again."

"Oh, hold still, Shizuka. I'll untangle his fingers again. But seriously, I hope he loses interest in the hair pulling soon." Souji said as he dove straight to work.

* * *

"Ugh…" I heard Sannan-san groan before he stirred sluggishly. It looked like the anesthesia was finally wearing off. It appeared that Sannan-san was one of those people who didn't react well to anesthesia.

"Ah, you're up." Souji said to Sannan-san with a grin. "How are you feeling?"

After lunch, Souji had decided to accompany me back to the medical wing with Ryota to watch Sannan-san while Yamazaki-san went to go take his break. I got the distinct feeling that Souji did that so I could help him watch Ryota at the same time to avoid what had happened earlier. An extra pair of eyes were helpful in this case. Now that Ryota discovered how mobile he was, he was all over the place. One second Ryota was lounging on my lap, the next, he was on the other side of the room where Souji was. But thankfully he never seem to want to wander too far away from me or Souji. I discovered that if either Souji or I stood up and made a move to exit the room then Ryota would whine loudly and begin to crawl after us as fast as he could.

"Sleepy." Sannan-san answered as he blinked in confusion before he turned his head and caught a glimpse of his splint up arm. "My arm?"

"The splint is to prevent your arm from moving too much so that it can heal properly." I answered as I handed him his glasses. Sannan-san, fumbling as he went along, quickly put on his glasses so he could get a clearer look. "I'll remove the splint in a few weeks when your arm has healed enough to begin rehab. But for now, let me do a quick evaluation on your arm."

"Bee bo." Ryota said to me when he noticed his mother's and father's attention was off of him before he began crawling towards me as I was carefully lifting Sannan-san's arm to examine it. Acting quickly, Souji swooped in and scooped Ryota up into his arms to prevent him from startling me when I was examining the arm. "Haeve ba po!" Ryota complained as he struggled in his father's arms.

"Ryota, stop." Souji scolded our son firmly. "Don't bother Okaa-san right now when she's working."

When Ryota heard Souji's warning, he froze comically before looking at his father innocently with big eyes.

"That's not going to work." Souji answered Ryota's puppy eyes bluntly. "Your okaa-san use to use those eyes on me all the time before we got married. I'm use to them now."

"Eeva buzu!" Ryota replied while looking and sounding scandalized by what Souji said, causing Sannan-san to chuckle at the scene he witnessed.

"Ryota's crawling now?" Sannan-san asked when he was done with his laugh. His mood seemed to lighten considerably now that his surgery was done. "I recall he couldn't yet in the morning."

"Yeah. Apparently he figured out how while we were in surgery this morning. He learns too fast for his own good, like his otou-san." I answered as I touched the tip of his fingers on the arm of interest. "Can you feel that?"

"Yes." Sannan-san answered, sounding completely amazed and in awe at such a simple sensation. "I…I can feel with this hand again!"

"Wait! What do you mean by I learn too fast for my own good?" Souji suddenly asked in alarm after he processed my previous words. "Shizuka?"

"Nothing, nothing… I mumbled without paying too much attention to Souji's whining. "Okay, try moving your fingers now, Sannan-san."

The room fell silent as we all waited for the moment of truth. A few quiet seconds turned into a few quiet minutes. Nothing. There was no movement. I watched Sannan-san's face fall from one of joyous hope to a crash-and-burn devastation.

"Don't give up yet, Sannan-san." I urged him gently. "Sometimes it takes time before you can move your hand and arm again, especially because the nerves in your arm need to remap themselves. Like for example, the nerve that innervated the palm of your hand may innervate your pinkie now. Try again."

Sannan-san looked at me with a frown, but continued to try none the less. However, despite all of his efforts, still no movement was present in his hand and with each passing second, I could see Sannan-san losing all hope.

"It's no use." Sannan-san finally said. He sounded like he just heard that the world was ending. "My arm…"

"Sannan-san…" Souji mumble painfully as he clutched his hands into fists. Ryota, who was still in Souji's lap, seemed to also sense the horrible aura of disappointment and deflated quite visibly as he fell quiet.

However, I wasn't just about as ready to give up on Sannan-san's arm. He told me earlier he could feel earlier when I touched his finger whereas before the surgery, Sannan-san couldn't feel anything that that limb. I knew that the operation did something. Thinking fast, I stood up and went to a nearby table to grab a clean needle before I came back and stabbed the tip of Sannan-san's middle finger with it, and within an instant there was a reaction. His fingers, which he could not move before, twitched as a reaction to the pain as Sannan-san sucked in a deep breath and shot up into sitting position.

"Excuse my language, but what the HELL, Shizuka?!" Sannan-san yelped as he glared at me furiously.

The tip of the fingers was one of the most painful places to have a needle stuck in. Maybe I should have chosen another place on the hand? All I needed was to see if there was a reaction, so I didn't necessarily have to stab the tip of his finger. A prick on the skin of the outside of his thumb would have been suffice.

"Sannan-san," I answered him calmly as a small smile began to form on my lips, "your fingers, they twitched as a reaction to the pain. Your arm CAN move again."

Sannan-san's eyes widened as he processed the information I just told him before he swiftly turned to stare at his hand once more. He was most likely trying to will his limb to move on his own.

"What was that?" Souji asked me as he watch Sannan-san try again.

"That was a reflex arc." I explained. "A reflex arc is a neural pathway that controls an action reflex. For humans, most sensory neurons do not pass directly to the brain, but synapse in the spinal cord. This characteristic allows reflex action to occur relatively quickly by activating spinal motor neurons without delay of routing signals through the brain, although the brain will receive sensory input while the reflex action occurs. In a reflex arc, there are two types: the autonomic reflex arc, which affects the inner organs, and the somatic reflex arc, which affects the muscles. This reflex arc that was just in Sannan-san's hand was a somatic reflex arc."

After I finished my explanation, Souji just looked at me blankly before he demanded, "Explain it again without the jargon."

"The somatic reflex arc is what occurs when the body registers pain and instantly reacts to get away, like what you do when you touch a fire on accident. There is no thought put into the action as the body instantly reacts by itself. That's just what Sannan-san's finger did when I poked his finger."

"More like stabbed." Sannan-san interjected sarcastically. "But please, do continue with your explanation."

"The surgery worked. In order for the nerves in the hand to send a message to the spinal cord, the message must travel up the radial nerve, which was severed before the surgery, and through another series of nerves before it reaches the spinal cord. If the surgery was unsuccessful then there would have been no way for the message to reach the spinal cord." I said as I ignored Sannan-san's sarcasm. "The reason Sannan-san probably can't control his own arm and hand willingly yet is because his brain hasn't figured out what the new triggers are yet, but that can be fixed through rehab."

"So…" Sannan-san said as he looked at me hopefully.

"I have fixed you." I said bluntly. "Smile and be happy. But keep in mind that this was only the easy half. The most difficult part is the rehab."

As Sannan-san opened his mouth to say something, a knock at the door cut him off.

"Come in." Souji answered. "This is the medical wing, which is a public space. There's no need to knock."

"Ah, but the door was closed so it seemed like the polite thing to do." Otou-san's voice filtered through the door.

On the thin paper door, the silhouettes of several familiar people appeared. It seemed like everyone was anxious to know the results of the surgery. As the door open, everyone marched into the room. Otou-san's face and Hijikata-san's faces seemed to instantly brighten up more than the others' as they saw Sannan-san sitting up.

"Yo! You seem to be doing a lot better, Sannan-san." Shinpachi-san greeted Sannan-san cheerfully with a big stupid looking grin.

"So, the results?" Hijikata-san asked with a small cough, to avoid looking too concern, as he said down next to me.

"Hiji baba oza!" Little Ryota instantly declared, drawing everyone's attention as they laughed at his enthusiasm.

"I'm good now." Sannan-san answered once everyone's laughter died down. "Shizuka-chan tells me that all I need now is rehab so I can readjust to being able to move my arm again."

"Wah! That's great news!" Heisuke declared. "That means we all have to celebrate!"

"I know, right?" Sano-san jumped in with a grin as his eyes met with the other two members of the Idiot Trio. "This means we have to throw a party, right Saito?" he said as he looped an arm around Saito-san's shoulder to drag him in.

"It is good to celebrate a good event, but we must be considerate to the priests now too since we are staying at their temple. We should make sure we stay on good terms with them." Saito-san answered as he ducked out of Sano-san's grasp to avoid being caught in a headlock.

I snorted at Saito-san's answer, drawing everyone's attention.

"Shizu-chan?" Otou-san asked, puzzled at my reaction.

"I say screw the priests and just throw the damn party. They already dislike us and us trying to be considerate won't change how they feel about us, especially now that we're invading their space by living here." I said before adding offhandedly, "Besides, they certainly aren't doing anything to make me like them more. They're always following me and watching me like they expect me to commit a crime. I already caught one looking through my medical notes because he thought they were journals that contained some condemning information. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I'm a criminal! Stupid priests."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Souji asked me as soon as I was done ranting.

I averted my eyes in slight embarrassment before mumbling, "I honestly kept forgetting to bring it up every time we spoke."

"Shizuka…" Souji said exasperatedly. "You're always just so…" he trailed off as he shook his head at me with a nostalgic smile.

"So, can we bring out the good saké and have a feast tonight?" Heisuke asked Hijikata-san with starry eyes as he ignored my small conversation with Souji off to the side. "Please?"

Hijikata-san sighed, but also smiled at the same time before he turned to Sannan-san and Otou-san and nodded. "Alright, we celebrate tonight!" Hijikata-san declared as he stood up. "But meanwhile, I need to go speak to some certain people." he said as he started heading towards the door.

"Wait, Hijikata-san." Souji said as he stood up too. He quickly passed Ryota to me before he walked with Hijikata-san. "I'll come too. I need to give those same people a piece of my mind."

Those two men then exited the room, both strangely cooperative with each other. Don't tell me… I guess even both of them could team up almost flawlessly like two gears in a well-oiled machine when it was needed.

"Uhh…" I said as I shifted my attention back onto the others that were still in the room. "Well as for rehab, Chizuru-chan, I'm putting you in charge of Sannan-san's rehab."

"Me?" she asked in surprise.

"Ha ebu!" Ryota answered cheerfully as if he was trying to answer for me and laughed when I rubbed his tummy.

"Yes." I answered with a confident nod. "You've always been really good with patients and I think you're actually a lot better than me when it comes to dealing with patients on a personal level. Everyone tends to get lost in my medical jargon anyways. You can put your skills to the test and perfect them some more as you work with Sannan-san. So are you up for it?"

Chizuru-chan looked at me, stunned at my complements before she agreed enthusiastically.

"Well then, Yukimura-kun, it seems like I am in your care now." Sannan-san said with a friendly yet intimating smile. "Please take care of me."

Suddenly there was a small yelp of terror somewhere else on the temple grounds. It seemed that something was happening to the priests, but I couldn't really bring myself to care. It was probably just Souji's fault anyways. Well, it could be Hijikata-san's fault too, but he wasn't the type of person that would settle things with a prank. However, Souji WAS involved so maybe Hijikata-san just went with Souji's method this time because of that. As Otou-san winced at the yelps in the background, it finally felt like everything was right in the world.

* * *

It was now May of 1865. Even though the Shinsengumi had only been at the temple for three months now, the places where the men were living was already a mess. These men really were used to their female relatives cleaning for them before they joined the Shinsengumi. Most of them wouldn't even be bothered to lift a hand to clean up their own mess and now that I had Ryota to look after, I couldn't keep cleaning up after them. Other than dealing with my own duties as the main physician, a wife, and a mother, I didn't quite have the time to clean up after the men like I once did before. Chizuru-chan, on the other hand, was starting to clean up after the men less and less. Other than going on patrols with the captains to look for her father, she was now also taking care of Sannan-san's rehab and other small tasks in the medical wing, even performing small surgeries when called upon. The men really needed to start cleaning up after themselves more. If not, well then, headquarters was going to become a festering pool of disease again.

"Shizuka-chan." Someone called me from the entrance of mine and Souji's bedroom.

I put Ryota down on the floor and turned to see Sannan-san smiling at me. Unhappy at being put down. Ryota attempted to crawl back onto my lap so I could hold him in standing position again so he could practice walking. Ryota, now being several months older, was now learning how to walk. He could stay in standing position for a few seconds by himself as long as someone helped him stand up first. He also could toddle along for a few minutes if he was holding on to someone else or if he was holding on to furniture. Unfortunately for him, learning how to walk was far more complicated than learning how to crawl.

"Yes, Sannan-san. What can I do for you?" I asked amicably before I stood up to greet him, frustrating Ryota even more.

"Buzu bee!" Ryota complained to me as he sat on the floor and stared up at me expectantly.

"Just wait a little longer, Ryota." I said to my son gently. "Okaa-san is speaking to Sannan-oji-san. Just be a little more patient."

Sannan-san chuckled warmly when Ryota whined at my response. "Shizuka-chan, I require some more paper to complete my work, but it appears that I have run out. Do you mind running down to the marketplace to purchase some more paper. Hijikata-kun will surely complain when he realizes we have run out."

"Yes, I can." I answered before looking down at Ryota. "But can you look after Ryota for me while I do so? Souji's out on patrol right now with Heisuke and Otou-san is busy because the shogun's coming to Kyoto soon."

"That is no problem." Sannan-san said as he smiled down at Ryota, causing Ryota to laugh back. "My arm is still weak, but it is regaining strength each day. However, the amount of strength my arm currently possesses will not hinder me in taking care of Ryota."

"Alright then." I said as I accepted the small pouch of money from Sannan-san and stored it in my sleeve before I bent down to scoop up Ryota. "Okay, Sweetie, be good for Sannan-oji-san while Okaa-san is gone." I said before I pecked him on the forehead.

"Umm!" Ryota babbled happily before I passed him to Sannan-san.

"If he gets hungry, then you can give him some plain white rice, but if he doesn't eat it, then distract him long enough until I can get back to breastfeed him." I instructed before I stepped outside.

* * *

"Thank you very much for your patronage." the shopkeeper said with a polite bow as I exited the shop with a bundled of paper tied into a neat stack with a wicker thread.

Paper was so pricy now. With so much foreign trade and little to no regulations, inflation was now making even the most common everyday items expensive. I had never really thought paper as expensive before, but now I would think twice before using a sheet. I didn't want to even think about how much of the Shinsengumi's budget was spent on paper by itself. We used mountains of it and if the small little stack I just brought cost so much then just trying to imagine the total cost was enough to make my head spin.

"…though there's still no sign of my chichi." said a familiar voice. Just across the street, Heisuke was on patrol with his division along with Chizuru-chan, who was starting to look depress.

Just as Chizuru-chan said, there really was no sign of her father. The Inspectors were unable to find information on her father and Kenji-san was unable to turn up any helpful information either. There was the occasion where someone would find a particular rumor of Chizuru-chan's father being at a certain location, but those were mostly false or led to a cold dead end. For someone who was just merely a doctor, Chizuru-chan's father was extremely hard to find.

"Well, cheer up!" Heisuke said with a large smile as he patted Chizuru-chan on the back hard enough to make her lose her balance. "We might end up running right into him."

"O-Okay." Chizuru-chan said as she forced a small smile onto her face once she regained her balance. It must have been hard to put on a brave face every day, especially when each day came up empty. I thought that was rather admirable.

Not wanting to walk back to headquarters alone, I decided it would be nice to join up with the patrol. Despite being with everyone ever since the very beginning, I had never been on patrol with anyone. I was curious. Sannan-san could wait a little longer for his paper, right? It's not like it would take me too much longer to get back to headquarters if I joined in on the patrol. It was almost time for the shift change anyways.

"Heisuke! Chizuru-chan!" I called out to the two familiar faces with a wave, snagging both of their attentions before I quickly caught up to them. "Anything interesting happen yet today? Any news?"

"Shizuka-chan!" Chizuru-chan greeted me cheerfully. "No nothing too interesting happened on patrol and there's nothing new."

"But…" Heisuke said as he quickly looked around like he was making new observations before he fell quiet, like he was in deep thought.

"Heisuke-kun? What is it?" Chizuru-chan asked when she noticed Heisuke's behavior.

"I had been in Edo for a while so it makes sense that I haven't seen this town or the people in some time, but if feels like something has changed."

Really? I didn't think that much had changed. Maybe it was only obvious to him because he was gone for so long? But if there was anything that had changed then it would be Heisuke. He was often more quiet now because he was always lost in thought and when someone would ask him what was on his mind then he would say, "nothing". Was there something bothering him? And if so, then why didn't he tell us? I found this worrisome because Heisuke was someone who always wore his concerns on his sleeve and now… It was different.

"Heisuke-kun?" Chizuru-chan asked in concern as she tilted her head at him.

"Uh, nothing!" he brushed off her concern with a smile before he turned to me. "So what are you doing out by yourself? Running errands?"

"Yup!" I said as I nodded with a cheerful grin. "Sannan-san sent me out to buy some paper. We have no more at headquarters."

"I see. Well, it makes sense since we all have so much paperwork to do now. Oh look, there's Souji and his division." Heisuke said before he pointed up ahead. True to his word, Souji was up ahead with his division as they emerged from a side street. "Souji!"

At the sound of his name, Souji turned to see me and Chizuru-chan with Heisuke, who was happily waving at him. Souji paused and turned to his division and gave them instructions. Then Souji and his division joined up with Heisuke's division as we all began heading back towards headquarters together.

"How're things for you?" Heisuke asked Souji as we started walking again.

"The same as always." Souji replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "But I think things will get busy when the shogun comes to visit. So, Shizuka, what are you doing out here with Heisuke's patrol?"

"Oh, Sannan-san sent me out to buy some more paper." I said as I lifted my bundle up for Souji to see. "And while I was out here, I saw Heisuke's division and decided to go with since I didn't feel like going back alone."

"Hmm…" Souji made a noncommittal sound to indicate that he heard me and nothing else.

"Visit?" Chizuru-chan then suddenly asked, referring to what Souji said before. This was the first time she was hearing about the shogun coming to visit. "The shogun's coming here to the capital?"

"Yup. That's why even Kondou-san's on edge." Souji answered.

"Yeah. That he certainly is…" Heisuke murmured quietly to himself as he stared off to the side in a small daze causing Chizuru-chan to look at me silently in confusion before she tilted her head in curiosity at Heisuke once more.

"Hey, Shizuka?" Souji then said as he turned a questioning glance at me. "Did Ryota make any big improvements on walking while I was gone?"

"Not really. He's still just bouncing around on his feet whenever I prop him up."

"Then what about—" Souji started, but his words sharply tapered off as his eyes grew sharp before they shot to a nearby alleyway up ahead.

"Hey, little girl!" a rough sounding man's voice came from the alley up ahead. "Who do you think you are to refuse?"

As we approached the alleyway, we could see the scene play out. There were two ronin, one with a dark blue hakamashita and the other with a dark brown hakamashita, accosting a civilian woman…who looked like Chizuru-chan?! I wasn't just seeing things, right? The Chizuru-chan and the other woman looked so alike I was sure they could and would pass as twins, but Chizuru-chan didn't have any siblings, right?

"We're out every day for the people, talkin' about nationalism, so pourin' us patriots a cup or two of liquor is the least you can do, right?" asked the man wearing dark blue as he looked down upon the woman perversely before the other reached out and harshly grabbed her wrist.

"Stop it!" the young woman cried in distress as she struggled to pull away from the men. "Let go!"

This was when Souji ran in to aid the woman. With Souji leading the way, Heisuke, Chizuru-chan, and I followed after him.

"Let's go!"

"No! Stop it!"

"Oh, geez." Souji said wryly as he inserted himself into the struggle and drew the combatants' attentions. "The word 'nationalism' is wasted bein' used by the likes of you."

"What?!" the ronin wearing dark blue snarled back at Souji without getting a good look at the haori Souji was wearing. It was the ronin wearing dark brown that noticed the uniform.

"A pale-blue haori?" the ronin said out loud as he dropped the woman's wrist, catching the other ronin's attention.

When the woman had her wrist dropped, she quickly huddled off to the side near the corner of the building.

"They're the Shinsengumi?" asked the blue-wearing ronin

"If you know of us, that'll save some time." Souji said confidently as he raised his hands to his katana to look more threatening. "What will you do?"

"Dammit! I'll drink somewhere else!" the ronin wearing brown cried before he fled down the alleyway he came from, leaving his buddy standing in the same place with a stunned expression plastered all over his face.

"What will YOU do?" Souji then asked the other ronin menacingly.

The last ronin then quickly recovered from his stunned state and hollered, "I'll remember this!" before he bolted down the alleyway after his cowardly friend.

As soon as the last ronin vanished down the alley, the young woman that had been accosted, stepped away from the wall and fixed her hair before approaching Souji with dainty ladylike steps before she bowed politely in thanks.

"Thank you very much." she said with a certain degree of elegance amidst her thank you bow. "I am Kaoru Nagumo."

Souji seemed to stare at Nagumo for a short few seconds before grabbing Chizuru-chan by the arm, completely surprising her, before he dragged her over to go stand by Nagumo.

"Ah! Okita-san?!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed in confusion.

"Just trust me." Souji said before he stepped back to look at the two women. "Sure enough… You look alike, don't you?"

"Really? I don't think they're alike at all." Heisuke said as he scratched the back of his head. "What do you think, Shizuka-chan?"

"They look like identical twins?" I said as I squinted at the both of them as I attempted to look for differences. There were a few differences, but nothing major. "Heisuke, there must be something wrong with your eyes."

"Well SORRY for not agreeing with you!" Heisuke huffed unhappily at my answer.

"Anyways," Souji said to get the topic back on track. "I think if this kid dressed up like a girl, they'd be dead ringers."

"U-Um…" Chizuru-chan stuttered, looking completely unsure what to say before Nagumo stepped forward.

"I wish to give you a more proper thanks, but I have other obligations just now. Please pardon my rudeness" Nagumo said with a polite bow before she began to leave, but she paused once more before she completely left the scene to say, "I shall repay you some other time, Okita Souji-san of the Shinsengumi."

… I almost didn't know what to think of what just happened, but I felt like I couldn't trust her. She looked so much like Chizuru-chan that I felt like I shouldn't trust her. It was just too bizarre for my tastes and not to mention my nerves were unsettled around her. She reminded me of a kitsune that often use to appear in the tales and legends that Otou-san told me when I was a child. According to Yōkai folklore, the kitsune, or otherwise known as the fox, had the ability to shapeshift into women and often used this ability to trick people. This trickster especially became known as a "witch animal" in the Tokugawa era and were goblins who could not be trusted. But other than just looking like Chizuru-chan and making me feel nervous, I actually couldn't see anything wrong with her. I had no actual proof she was a bad person, but I couldn't shake off the sticky feeling.

"Whoa, nice! Souji, it looks like she likes you, right?" Heisuke said enthusiastically, snapping me out of my thoughts.

It looked like she liked Souji? Did it really? After all this time, I still couldn't really tell. But hearing that comment made my mood instantly deteriorate, causing Chizuru-chan to glance at me with her big eyes before she cautiously inched away. I huffed angrily and stalked off by myself. I could go back to headquarters myself!

"If that's how that looked to you just then, Heisuke, you'll never beat Sano-san." I heard Souji say before a hand shot out and grabbed my wrist before I could get too far away.

"Wh-What does that mean?!" Heisuke exclaimed unhappily, only to be ignored by Souji.

Once he stopped me from leaving, Souji glanced at my face curiously with a small tilt of his head before he grinned with a certain smug quality to it.

"Let go…" I mumbled to him quietly. I never did like it when Souji saw me upset like this.

"I don't think so." Souji said, sounding just as smug as he looked before he tugged me enough so I lost my balance and landed against his chest. He then swept me off my feet and began heading back towards headquarters again. "You're cute when you're jealous like this." he whispered into my ear.

"Come on, Chizuru!" I heard Heisuke faintly call out in the background as Souji monopolized my attention. "We're heading back now!"

* * *

In the evening all the men were gathered in what was now our new main hall as Otou-san made his announcement to the men. Like with all the previous meetings before, I sat in the far corner of the room and listened away from everyone else. However, what was different this time was that Chizuru-chan took up the seat next to me and Ryota, who hadn't been born yet the last time there was a meeting like this, sat on my lap as he quietly amused himself with the paper crane that Sannan-san folded for him.

"I think you've all heard that the Fourteenth Shogun, Iemochi Tokugawa, will be visiting the capital." Otou-san said as he started the meeting. "In accordance with his visit, we the Shinsengumi, have received orders that until he reaches Nijo Castle, we are to do our utmost to provide him with protection."

After Otou-san finished his announcement, the men started to cheer and speak among themselves in excitement. Even I couldn't contain the small squeak of excitement that leaked out from my lips. The Shinsengumi had certainly come a long way since it first started out. Both Chizuru-chan and I beamed at each other before focusing back up front when Hijikata-san spoke.

"Given the Ikedaya Inn Incident and Kinmon Rebellion, sure enough, even the higher-ups have had to acknowledge our accomplishments." Hijikata-san said proudly as he puffed his chest out in importance.

"To think, in protecting him, the fate of the country lies with our blades." Souji commented, drawing Saito-san's and Shinpachi-san's attention.

"Yes!" Shinpachi-san agreed whole-heartedly.

"Protecting him here in the capital…" Itou-san said while looking a bit sour. "Too bad Sannan-san can't come along in this important endeavor, not with his arm so weak."

"True." Sannan-san said with a sadistic smile as he glowered at Itou-san discretely. "But my arm is growing stronger with each passing day and I will be able to join the future events."

Seeing the hidden hostile exchange pass between the two men Otou-san cleared his throat to get everyone's attention before he spoke again.

"Thus, things will be getting busy for us. First, we'll have to think of how we'll form our regiments." Otou-san said as Hijikata-san nodded in approval. "Well then… Toshi and I… Souji… Um… Let's see…who else, who else…"

As Otou-san was amidst his pondering, Heisuke rose his hand, catching Otou-san's attention.

"What is it, Heisuke?" Otou-san asked.

"Uh, Kondou-san… The truth is that I'm not feelin' well…"

"What? Heisuke, you have a cold? On an occasion like this, I wanted us all to go greet the shogun together." Otou-san voiced in slight disappointment, but his disappointment was quickly overruled by his excitement at getting the chance to guard the shogun.

"Um, sorry." Heisuke apologized.

… Heisuke wasn't sick, at least not what I knew of. But he must have had some reason why he didn't want to go. It was probably best not to pry.

"No, your health takes precedence." Otou-san responded to Heisuke's apology. "There will be another chance. When it comes, I want you to do your best."

"So, what will YOU do?" Hijikata-san asked Chizuru-chan as he stood up and approached him.

"Sir?" questioned Chizuru-chan, not quite understanding what Hijikata-san was asking about.

"Don't act the fool. I'm asking if you'll act in his protection." Hijikata-san said authoritatively.

"M-Me too?"

"We don't mind, of course." Otou-san spoke up. "It's no exaggeration to say you've become a member of the Shinsengumi, Yukimura-kun. If you don't mind, be sure to participate. You too Shizu-chan. Ryota will be fine with Sannan-san for the night."

"Alright. It has been a while since I've been out on the field anyways." I answered before turning to Sannan-san. "Will that be alright with you, Sannan-san?"

"It will be no problem." Sannan-san replied with a friendly smile. "Ryota can keep me occupied while everyone is gone."

"Well that settles it. What about you, Chizuru-chan?" I asked.

"Um…"

"Well there'll be no worry about your life." Souji said when Chizuru-chan remain indecisive. "There aren't that many ne'er-do-wells who'd go after the shogun."

"Why not go, just give it a try?" encouraged Heisuke.

With encouragement from those two, Chizuru-chan was no longer indecisive. "Okay!" she replied cheerfully to Hijikata-san. "If there's any way I can help, please let me do so."

* * *

As soon as Chizuru-chan received her instructions from Hijikata-san, she bowed politely before running off energetically to do her job.

"Next shift watchmen, take the Hour of the Boar, please!" her voice echoed throughout the complex as she passed off her message to the watchmen. "Third Division, please head for the inner garden."

"Well, at least someone's excited." I mention offhandedly to Souji with a small smile before I bent down to dust off my hakama and hakamashita, which felt more snug now…

Stupid boobs. I couldn't wait until I didn't need to breastfeed Ryota anymore so my milk could dry up and so my breasts could shrink back to their normal size. It was true that bigger breasts did tend to make women feel sexier, but once I got over the initial feeling of sexiness I found that they just got in the way all the time. For example: whereas I didn't mind running so much before, after the enlargement, I found that wasn't the case anymore. It was distinctly uncomfortable when they bounced. I really did miss the support of bras.

"What is it?" Souji asked when he saw the flash of annoyance on my face when I stood up straight again.

"Nothing, nothing." I sighed as I leaned against the wall behind me. "Just kind of wishing that I didn't have to breastfeed Ryota anymore. It would be nice if my breasts shrank back down to the size they were before."

Souji blinked at me blankly. He wasn't expecting me to say that. "Wait, why?" he asked once he got his voice back. "I like them better when they're at this size."

"Well for one, they're always getting in the way and two…" I started before I noticed the blank look on Souji's face. "Ah, forget it. I doubt you'd understand anyways."

"Shizuka! Souji!" Hijikata-san snapped while looking at us in extreme annoyance. "Focus on your job! This is not the time or place to talk about such private matters!"

Oops? I looked back at Souji and we both grinned like we were sharing a private joke before snapping back to attention, but I doubt we needed to. Like what Souji told Chizuru-chan before, there weren't many people, if any at all, that would go after someone so important and well-guarded like the shogun. It was a beautiful night that was nice and quiet… Wait, why was it so quiet? Chizuru-chan was supposed to be running to each station while announcing her message. We should have been able to hear her no matter where she went.

"Hijikata-san, it's too quiet." I said while narrowing my eyes to where I last saw Chizuru-chan before she turned the corner. "We should still be able to hear her. Something must have happened. If I was an assailant that came to attack the shogun then I would silence the messenger first. Unorganized messages means an unorganized guard that is easy to outmaneuver."

Hijikata-san narrowed his eyes at my words and tsked. "Souji! Saito! Harada! Go check on Chizuru. Shizuka, you're with me. If Chizuru's been hurt then I'll need you to take care of her. We'll follow shortly afterwards. Shinpachi! You're in charge while I'm gone."

When the men received their orders, the first three took off to go find Chizuru-chan while Shinpachi-san took over managing the normal soldiers for Hijikata-san. After Hijikata-san checked up on a few things first, he grabbed my wrist and took off after the first three.

"So who do you think it is?" Hijikata-san asked me as we were running. "The Choshu?"

"No, even they wouldn't attempt this. Not with their political situation right now." I answered as we began to catch up to the others. What the—

The scene we caught up to was not what I was expecting. Our intruders were only three men, but who the men were… They were the men the Shinsengumi encountered during the Hamaguri Gate Rebellion. Kazama Chikage, Amagiri Kyuujyu, Shiranui Kyo… What were they doing here? By piecing together what I saw, it seemed that those three men accosted Chizuru-chan only to be intercepted by our three hostile captains.

"Now, now. Having a lovers' date in an unromantic place like this is a bad choice." Sano-san said as he raised his spear slightly in a cocky fashion.

"You all again, eh?" Kazama said with a hint of disgust. "It seems you countryside dogs are quick-witted, if nothing else."

"That would be MY line." Saito-san replied with a fierce scowl.

"Man, you just had to steal my words didn't you, Hajime-kun?" Souji said as he shot a feral grin at Kazama. "So we meet again, Blondie. Things won't end the same way as it did at Ikedaya."

"Harada-san! Saito-san! Okita-san!" Chizuru-chan cried in relief from behind them.

Hijikata-san then stepped forward and put a hand on Chizuru-chan's shoulder, catching her attention as he pushed her behind him protectively. "Fall back and stay with Shizuka." Hijikata-san said before speaking to the three intruders. "I thought you'd come after the head of the shogun. Just what do you want with this youngster?"

"The shogun and you fools are no longer of importance." Kazama replied condescendingly as he looked down upon the captains with his blood-red eyes. "This is a problem for us oni."

Oni?

"Oni, you say?" Hijikata-san said as he narrowed his eyes menacingly while processing this new information.

Figuring that I would have time to ponder this information later, I took this chance to scan Chizuru-chan over while the men were facing off. "You're not hurt, right?" I asked with concern.

"Ah, no." Chizuru-chan said as she averted her gaze. "I'm not hurt."

I scanned her over once more just for good measure before letting the issue drop. Meanwhile, it seemed that the men had paired off and were preparing to fight. Sano-san had leapt up onto the high wall to deal with Shiranui and Saito-san had gone to deal with Amagiri. The only ones that remain on ground level were Hijikata-san, Souji, and Kazama. Both Hijikata-san and Souji wanted a piece of Kazama for previous trespasses. It also seemed that Chizuru-chan was becoming more nervous and felt the need to do something about this situation. Just as she prepared to draw her kodachi, Yamazaki-san appeared and prevented her from doing so as he guided her behind himself.

"There's no need for that." Yamazaki-san said.

"Yamazaki-san!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed in surprise at his sudden arrival. He seemed to be getting better at arriving unnoticed.

"Come back to headquarters with me."

"Shizuka, you go back with them too." Souji said as he placed himself protectively in front of me. "I don't want you getting involved in this fight."

"Hpmh!" Kazuma said as he narrowed his eyes at me before he grinned like he had just struck gold. "That woman won't be going anywhere except with me. The first Higanbana to bloom in nearly 400 years is a waste on you humans."

Higanbana? There was that word again. What was going on? What did this man know?

At Kazama's words, Souji snarled ferociously at the man. "You're not taking my wife anywhere!" Anger and rage dripped from each word. Only common sense kept Souji from leaping forwards and attacking Kazama senselessly.

Kazama scowled at Souji before drawing his sword.

What the hell did Higanbana truly mean? I wanted my answers and I'd be damned before I let this chance slip away.

* * *

[1] The giant Japanese centipede. It may grow up to about 38 cm and is poisonous. They are not only aggressive but they are also very difficult to kill and have been known to survive boiling water and fire.


	74. Chapter 71

So, summer school... Two of my classes seem rather demanding while my other one has a lab, but I'll try to keep the new chapters coming at a decent pace. Well, anyways, any guesses to what "Higanbana" means to Kazama?

* * *

**Chapter 71**

"The quickest path to self-destruction is to push away the people you love." ― Cassia Leo, _Pieces of You_

Higanbana… What did that mean in this context? From what I knew, the higanbana was the popular Japanese name for the red spider lily. This particular flower possessed several different meanings, each varying by nations. In North Korea it meant "mutual missing"; in Japan, "distressing memories"; and in China, it meant "beauty and purity". And in addition to those several meanings, it also had the meaning "separation, sorrow, inauspiciousness, and death beauty". To simplify the meaning of the flower into a single meaning, then it would come to mean "sorrowful memories" with the connotation of "sad love".

But in this connotation, considering my circumstances, I doubt it meant any of those meanings from before. There was one particular legend I became familiar with in this life. The red spider lily was also call the "Flower of the Other Shore". It was said that there was a river in the underworld called the Sanzu River[1]. Similar to the River Styx in Greek Mythology, the Sanzu River separated the underworld from the living world. In order to be reincarnated, the dead must cross this river to get to the other side and when they cross the river, all their memories from their pasts lives would vanish. However, growing on the shore of this river were the red spider lilies. The legend states the scent of the flowers growing along the shore would bring back all the beautiful memories of the dead for one last time before those memories disappeared forever when the dead crossed the river. From this legend, the higanbana was the flower of the dead, but most importantly, it also bore the meaning reincarnation.

If this man called me the "Higanbana" then he must know what my situation was and apparently it had happened before. He had said that the last time one "bloomed" it was nearly 400 years ago. So the Higanbana was someone who had been reincarnated without losing his or her memories, but why was that important? Yes, I had my memories of my past life, but so what? How would having memories of my past life make people want to kidnap me? As far as Kazama knew, I could be a useless nobody. How was he so sure that I would have value along with my situation?

"You country fools, playing at warriors!" Kazama barked in disgust before he ran forward to attack, wielding his blade with just merely one hand as he slammed it down on to Hijikata-san's katana.

The power behind that single attack must have been powerful. The blow of the attack was enough to send sparks flying as the two swords collided with each other. Hijikata-san, someone who possessed amazing strength, was straining from the weight of that attack as both of his hands tightened around the handle of his katana as he attempted to push back with great difficulty. Just who was this man? How did he manage to muster so much strength in that sloppy one-handed attack? Was it this strength that Souji fought against back at Ikedaya? This was the man that Souji lost to? It was clear as day that this man fought using no technique, but the sheer amount of strength and speed this man possessed seemed inhuman and was more than enough to overpower a trained and skilled warrior.

"What business do you bastards have with this Chizuru?!" Hijikata-san snarled as he attempted to push Kazama's blade off his own with little success.

Before Kazama could answer, Souji leapt into the battle. As Kazama was preoccupied with Hijikata-san, Souji got into his favorite stance and lunged forwards at Kazama's left as he performed the Sandanzuki. However, Kazama was not someone who would easily fall to the Sandanzuki. With instincts seemingly on par with his speed and strength, he merely lazily stepped out of the way before he leapt back lazily for a little more space.

"Che! You piss me off pal, focusing on Hijikata-san like that. Don't forget that I'm here too." Souji snarled in frustration as he came to take his position next to Hijikata-san. "I'll get you back for what happened back at Ikedaya."

"You?" Kazama said as if he thought Souji's threat was a hilarious joke. "You were that puppy that didn't even have enough skill to nip me. A tiny kick was all I needed to leave you on the floor whining in pain like the pitiful creature you are."

Souji snarled back at the insult before he growled, "What do you want with my wife and Chizuru-chan?!"

"Hmph!" Kazama said smugly before he smirked. "Chizuru is too much for you country dogs to handle, so we're taking her with us. As for the other woman…it depends. If she's useful, then we'll use her. If not, you can have her corpse back."

At those words, it almost seemed like Souji and Hijikata-san were seeing red. I had never before seen that much raw anger on both men's faces, especially Souji's. Souji snarled at Kazama like a crazed rabid wolf as he gripped his sword hard enough to make his own hands grow pale from the lack of blood flow.

"You're not landing one grimy paw on Shizuka!" Souji snapped as he and Hijikata-san prepared for another attack.

"Oh?" Kazama retorted in amusement before he eyed me behind Souji. "I like to see you try." Then he moved.

In that split second before Kazama moved, I saw his right foot step forward in my direction. He was getting ready to attack, but his target wasn't Souji or Hijikata-san. His new target was me! As quickly as I could, I raised my naginata in front of me to prepare for the oncoming attack, or at least I attempted to. I was never really fast. Despite all the practice and training I had with all the guy, my speed was still my weakest asset. Normally that wasn't too much of a problem. I had great insight during battle so I could normally predict people's next moves without having to depend on my poor speed to dodge or block, but just like what I discovered back when I was learning naginatajutsu with Tsune-san, it doesn't matter if I could see the attack if I could do nothing about it.

Before I could even raise my naginata to defend myself, Kazama disappeared before my eyes and reappeared directly in front of me with a sadistic smirk. And before I could even register the fact that he was attacking me, his sword was already cutting into my left cheek, right below my eye. It was at this moment it felt like my heart dropped into my stomach and I felt dread like I had never felt it before. There was no way I was a match for him. If I tried to fight him then there would be no question that I would die. Even if I attempted to run then I would be cut down in mere seconds. He was completely in a different league than the ronin I had dealt with before. Even Souji, one of the most skilled swordsmen I knew, lost to him before.

However, before he could do anymore damage, a sword suddenly appeared between me and Kazama in a downwards slash, causing Kazama to leap back to prevent himself from losing his arm. As soon as Souji got Kazama away from me, Hijikata-san charged forwards and slammed his blade on top of Kazama's sword, causing Kazama to jump away even further.

"You bastard." Souji snarled with quiet fury as he once again inserted himself between me and Kazama, but this time Souji was so close to me that I could touch his back. "This fight is between us men, keep her out of this!"

However, Kazama merely laughed at Souji's and Hijikata-san's fury before he raised his own bloodstained sword to mock them even more. Kazama's sadistic grin grew wider as he watched their eyes grow wide as they saw the the tip of the sword red with my blood and as if to mock them even more, he raised the tip of his sword to his lips so he could lick the blood off the blade.

Meanwhile, as Souji and Hijikata-san snarled and growled at Kazama, I quickly raised my hand to my cheek. The cut Kazama inflicted on me wasn't a serious injury, but it was deep and bled quite freely. To think, if he aimed just a little bit higher then I would have lost an eye, and he was just fooling around from the looks of things. If Kazama was just fooling around and both Souji and Hijikata-san couldn't even touch him… What if he decided to get serious? Just the thought of that was enough to cause me to sink to my knees. I was useless. No! There must be something that even I could do. I was no match for Kazama and his band of "oni", but there must be something…

"You son of a bitch!" Hijikata-san yelled. "I thought you needed Shizuka alive?! Why did you attack her?!"

"Hmph! You misunderstand, peasant." Kazama answer condescendingly. "It would be an advantage to take the Higanbana, but ultimately it's more important to make sure she's out of human hands. Killing the Higanbana will work as well if I don't take her."

Souji's and Hijikata-san's glare became a thousand times darker before they both exchanged a glance. In a split second after breaking their glance, they both split up and rushed at Kazama from opposite sides in a professionally executed pincer movement. Against all odds, it appeared that Souji's and Hijikata-san's formation was working. Kazama scowled at both men as he began being pushed back, but despite being able to push Kazama back, neither men were able to even land a hit on him. The same could have been said for Sano-san and Saito-san. For Sano-san and Saito-san, neither of them were able to land a hit on their opponents either.

"Damn it!" Souji growled in frustration as his attack barely missed before he pulled his sword back to attack once more. "Higanbana, Higanbana. What the hell do you mean by that?! What does Shizuka have to do with that damn flower?!"

"Oh?" Kazama said as he smirked once more in amusement as he blocked Hijikata-san's attack. "You claim that the Higanbana is your wife, but you don't even know what her true origins are. Some pathetic husband you are."

"SHUT UP!" Souji yelled in a tired pant as he swung his sword futilely at Kazama one more time. Kazama dodged the attack with ease before he disengaged from the combat by leaping back.

"If you're so wise then spit out what you do know!" Hijikata-san spat tiredly as he took this chance to recover some of his strength.

This was bad. Everyone was tired from their fighting but the "oni" didn't even have a drop of sweat on them. Could it really be possible…? Were they not just calling themselves "oni" but were actually really oni like from the old myths? It had to be possible. If there were rasetsu, if there was reincarnation, then it must be possible. But if they were oni, then how could we win? Oni were more powerful than humans in every way. According to the myths, they were stronger, faster, and even their senses were far greater than that of a normal human's. Did we even truly have a chance? Wait…"even their senses were far greater than that of a normal human's…" Maybe, just maybe…

"Heh, I don't think I will." Kazama replied as his sadistic grin grew in size. "It's quite entertaining to watch you pathetic humans squirm about pathetically like fish out of water. So what are you going to do now? It's clear that you humans are tiring quickly. Give me Chizuru and the Higanbana and we just might spare your lives."

"Like hell that's going to happen!" Souji said before he tiredly grinned as he tried to shake off his fatigue. "I can keep dancing all night, Blondie."

And with Souji's words, the men returned to battle, but it was only a matter of time before total exhaustion occurred. However, I wasn't about to let that happen.

An oni's sense of sight was much better than a human's, right? In many cases, the superior sense of sight would be seen as an advantage, but that also meant that the oni were more sensitive to light. While the enemy was focused on the captains fighting, I was free to reach into a compartment of my hakamashita to grab hold of something I never thought I would ever have to or get the chance to use.

About a week ago from today, I had been at Kyoko-chan and Kenji-san's house for a friendly visit. Just for the sake of having some childish fun, Kyoko-chan suggested that we dig around in Kenji-san's work. There was always something interesting going on in Kenji-san's work and it wasn't like he minded it anyways since he always kept his more sensitive work hidden away under lock and key. The only thing Kenji-san ever asked us to do was to promise not to accidently set off a live bomb, something which Kyoko-chan had actually done once. There was a reason the left wall of their house was newer than the rest of the house. Despite what Kenji-san asked of us, we still somehow got into his little workshop where he built his own little hand grenades that he used all the time. It was quite a fascinating find. Kenji-san sure was amazing. He had several different types of hand grenades he had created himself, with most of them being smoke bombs and flash bombs of different calibers. At the moment Kyoko-chan suggested to me that we remove the safety pin on a "mystery" bomb she found to find out what it did, Kenji-san appeared with a raised eyebrow as he crossed his arms at Kyoko-chan. Fluster at being caught, Kyoko-chan quickly put the little bomb on the desk she found it on and averted her gaze, but no harm, no foul. Since we didn't actually remove the safety pin, Kenji-san just laughed good-naturedly at her rare meek appearance and picked the small bomb off the desk to give to me as a small souvenir before he turned around to scold Kyoko-chan. It apparently wasn't something too dangerous. It was a small-scale flash bomb. The worst the flash bomb could do when activated was blind someone temporarily. There was also a small chance of a burn from the residual heat it produced, but nothing big.

Here was a chance to use that flash bomb I received through sheer chance. While a smoke bomb probably wouldn't do too much to an oni because their vision would be better than an average human's, a flash bomb was a different story. Instead of trying to block sight, a flash bomb actually worked by bleaching, or oversaturating, the retinal pigments. In other words, a flash bomb would work by overloading a person's system of sight. Now if a flash bomb was effective against a normal human, then how much more effective would it be if used on something with much more sensitive eyes? If this worked then the captains would all have a chance to strike while the oni were temporarily blinded and if it didn't work, the sudden flash of light would at least attract help.

As if Souji could feel my gaze on his back, he looked back at me discreetly through the corner of his eye to see me signaling at him. With my pinkie, I raised it over my eye and brought it back down as I closed my eye to signal to him to pass on the message to the others to close their eyes on my signal. I wouldn't want the flash bomb to affect them too. Once Souji got the message, I turned behind me to signal Yamazaki-san and Chizuru-chan too. Despite planning to head back to the safety of headquarters, Yamazaki-san and Chizuru-chan actually got distracted by the fights and remained rooted to their spots instead of retreating, hence why they were actually still here.

For Souji, to pass the signal to the others discreetly, he took his hand off the handle of his sword to "wipe" the sweat off of his forehead quickly as he closed his eyes briefly. That itself was enough to catch the other captains' attention and to pass the message without being noticed by the enemy.

Once I was sure they were ready I shouted, "Now!" before I pulled the safety pin out and tossed the flash bomb amidst the men. Surprise by my sudden action, the intruders didn't have a chance to respond as the flash bomb went off and let out a large flash of light so bright that it was brighter than a flash of light that would have been produced from water being sprayed onto a massive magnesium fire.

…

…

…

Did it work? As the light from the flash bomb faded, I opened my eyes to see that the intruders had stumbled when the flash bomb went off. The oni had seemed to be affected. Kazama had stumbled backwards while clutching his head as he tried to shake off the flash blindness[2]. This was our chance to strike!

As the captains leapt forwards to end the fight, their weapons were stopped when the intruders seemed to almost instantly regain their sight. Kazama seemed to be able to deflect Souji's strike before bringing his sword back up to block Hijikata-san's strike. Shiranui jumped away from Sano-san's spear in a nick of time while Amangiri deflected Saito-san's slash with bare hands.

Shit! Did the flash bomb actually not work? No, it couldn't be that. Earlier, our enemies stumbled back from the sudden flash and that was no act. So if it did affect them then was it possible that it didn't affect them enough? I doubted that guess. From what I could see, our intruders were proud men. They wouldn't have allowed themselves to stumble if it didn't completely affect them. Then was it perhaps their recovery time? Did they recover from trauma much more swiftly than humans did? It was possible. Oni were already considered more superior than humans in almost every way in the myths. Who's to say that they couldn't heal far more quickly than humans?

"You bastards!" Kazama roared in outraged as he snarled at Hijikata-san, who he was currently locking blades with. "Amangiri, Shiranui, kill them! How dare do mere humans try to blind their superiors?! It's time to show these pest how insignificant they are!"

However, before those three intruders could actually do anything yet, several dozen kunai seemingly came flying out of nowhere as the knives imbedded themselves deeply into the stone walls. Each kunai had a metallic wire attached to the back, which forming a deadly metal web as the several kunai came to a stop in the walls.

"What devilry is this?!" Kazama snarled as the three oni froze in place, surrounded by the several wires now littering the passageway.

"This is no devilry, just a mere demonstration of skill." a proud voice boasted before a mysterious figure, clad in black and with a red tengu mask, suddenly appeared and landed delicately on top of a single wire. "Now I wouldn't make any sudden movements if I were you. These wires may not look like it, especially with me standing on one, but they're sharp enough to decapitate you three."

Seriously, what's with all the men and their grand entrances tonight?

"Che! It's you again." Shiranui said as he grinned sadistically at the mysterious figure atop the wire. "For someone who says he isn't our enemy, you sure tend to appear a lot and interfere too much in our business."

"What can I say?" the figure sassed back in mock cheerfulness with a grand bow. "We seemed to have mutual feelings for each other and your business often crosses paths with mine. I'd say it's surprising that we aren't all friends yet."

"Hmph!" Kazama said as he sheathed his sword and jumped back onto the tall wall. "I see. Amangiri, Shiranui, we're leaving. We only came here for a conformation."

"I agree." Amangiri replied just as he blocked Saito-san's slash while being cautious of the wires. "We will only draw more attention if we stay. Fighting no longer serves a purpose."

With those orders, the other two pulled away from their fights and appeared next to Kazama. It seemed this intense confrontation was over. However, before Kazama and the other two left, he turned back and smirked mockingly at Hijikata-san.

"You country dogs better keep those two safe, I'll be back for them." Kazama said before him and the other two vanished into the night.

Once the three oni vanished into the night, the mysterious figure perched on the wire above, flipped off his perch and landed on the floor below before he flicked his right ring finger, which must have pulled a trigger of some sort. As soon as he flicked that finger. All the wires and the kunai attached to the wires instantly retracted in shot to the center of the mass of metal as the wires curled around each other, forming a medium sized wire ball with three rows of kunai, with the sharp size pointed outwards, circling the center of the ball, making the strange contraption look like a more dangerous and metallic version of the planet Saturn.

When the wires and kunai were done contracting into that strange metal ball, the mysterious man bent down to pick up the ball and stood up once more only to find that the captains were cautiously surrounding him with their weapons drawn and pointed at him.

"Really?" the mysterious man said as he seemed to deflate a bit. "I get that you guys can't see my face right now, but do you guys really not recognize my voice?"

Recognize his voice? Now that I was calming down from the encounter with Kazama and his two comrades, I noticed that the masked man's voice did sound familiar. And also, now that I think about it, there were only two people with that type of skill that I personally knew that could make an entrance like he did and only one person who had that much skill with a variety of different weapons.

"Kenji-san?" I asked as I cautiously stepped forward, between Souji and Hijikata-san.

"Oh goodie! Someone DOES recognize me." Kenji-san said with a playful wink as he removed his mask and grandly bowed at all of us once more. "Well, this was an interesting night, wasn't it?"

"Fuma?!" Hijikata-san exclaimed in stunned surprise as the captains relaxed their weapons. "How did you know to come here?"

"Well, I saw a the flash bomb go off from where I was and only one other person had one of my flash bombs in her possession at that current moment." Kenji-san answered as he shot a glance at me before his gaze traveled discreetly to Chizuru-chan. "So I figured there was a party going on here and I decided to drop by to crash it, but I didn't expect Kazama and his gang to be here. By the way, Yamazaki, you suck. You were supposed to get the dear ladies to safety, not stand there like a statue."

"M-My apologies!" Yamazaki-san stuttered once he snapped out of his shock induced state. "I-I just got stunned by the battles. I promise it will not happen again!"

"It's fine, Yamazaki." Hijikata-san said without taking his eyes off of Kenji-san. "As long as you kept the girls safe."

"Which he didn't. Yamazaki-kun was borderline useless." Souji added in with a harsh scowl before he turned around to place his fingers under my chin so he could raise my face to get a good look at the cut on my cheek. "Shizuka, you're still bleeding…" he said before placing the sleeve of his pale-blue haori on the cut to soak up the blood.

"What? Oh…" I mumbled quietly as Souji carefully observed my cut. In the light of everything that had happened, I forgot that I was still bleeding. "I can take care of it. Don't waste your time fussing over a small cut."

Brushing my hands away, Souji ignored my words as he angled my face so he could get a clearer view of the cut. "It's deep, but not serious." Souji mumbled to himself with a frown. "There's a chance it'll scar."

"Souji, it's fine." I said as I grabbed his wrist. "Just be thankful Kazama didn't get my eye instead. Focus on the situation on hand and let me deal with the cut."

"Fine." Souji sighed unhappily before he pressed a kiss on the top of my head and turned back to Kenji-san.

"So you know Kazama and the others?" Sano-san asked Kenji-san with a harsh and suspicious stare. "I got the distinct feeling there that for a moment you were acquainted with them."

"I guess you can say that." Kenji-san said with a tired sigh. "The thing is, with information collection being my main line of work, I run into many…interesting…characters. You can say both Kazama and I share a mutual dislike for each other despite meeting more than once on business. I wouldn't quite say we're enemies, but we're definitely not friends either. In fact, you can say that it's true for both our clans. Both our clans have a long history of getting in each other's faces."

"Then if you have a long history with those three, then perhaps you know why they're after Yukimura and Shizuka." Saito-san pointed out calmly.

"Well, I can guess for Yukimura, but for Shizuka…" Kenji-san said as his gaze fell on me again. "I happened to overhear the word 'Higanbana'…"

"'Higanbana'…" Souji mumble while glaring at the floor. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well…" Kenji-san said as he observed me with a new light in his eyes. "It was something I always thought was just a myth passed down in certain families. I didn't actually expect it to be true."

What? Myth? Were there actually answers for my situation and were they actually that close after all this time? Did Kenji actually know what I wanted to know?

"Then are you going to explain?" Hijikata-san asked forcefully. "Or are you going to just stand there and talk to yourself?"

"Not now." Kenji-san answered Hijikata-san. "Later when we have more privacy. You see, I'm not the only one that saw the light from that flash bomb. I'd say your little grunts are about to appear just about…now."

True to Kenji-san's words, several foot soldiers appeared not too far off and were rushing towards our position.

"Vice Commander!" one of the foot soldiers called out to Hijikata-san.

"We'll speak in privacy back at your headquarters later." Kenji-san said before he flipped onto the tall walls and vanished over the edge just as the foot soldiers were arriving at our position.

"Vice Commander! Do we have an intruder?" one of the foot soldiers asked Hijikata-san.

"We dealt with them already." Hijikata-san replied. "They already fled."

"Then shall we sweep the perimeter for security?"

"No need. They already left and won't be coming back for tonight." Hijikata-san answered the men.

Chizuru-chan, who was already starting to look a bit faint and unsteady on her feet, finally couldn't take the excitement anymore before she collapsed against Sano-san's side, catching everyone's attention.

"Chizuru!" Sano-san exclaimed in concern. "Are you alright?"

"Hey, you." Hijikata-san said as he turned around to glance at Chizuru-chan with narrowed eyes. "Can you think of why they might be after you?"

Chizuru-chan's eyes grew wide for a split second before they softened to show her distressed confusion. "No, I… I don't get it." she answered with dread as Yamazaki-san helped steady her on her feet.

Hijikata-san seemed not to react for a short moment as he observed Chizuru-chan before he fully turned around to face the men. "Everyone, return to your posts! Our job isn't done yet!"

"Sir!" the men replied before running off to fulfill that order.

"Harada! Saito! Return to your posts! Yamazaki! Take Chizuru back to headquarters. Souji, take Shizuka and join them at headquarters after you take care of Shizuka's injury. Don't let either of them out of your sight." Hijikata-san ordered before he turned to join Saito-san and Sano-san. "We'll discuss what happened here later when Fuma arrives at headquarters."

"Got it." Souji answered before he turned to look at Chizuru-chan and Yamazaki-san. "You two go ahead first. Shizuka and I will catch up after I deal with her injury first."

"Understood." Yamazaki-san replied before he ushered Chizuru-chan along. "Let's go, Yukimura-kun."

"O-Okay!"

After those two left, Souji then turned to me once more and placed his sleeve back on my cut to stop the blood from trickling down my face before he reached into my hakamashita to retrieve the small jar of ointment I always kept on me.

"Shizuka, tilt your face upwards so I can see the cut more clearly." Souji said.

Once my face was tilted upwards towards him, Souji quickly uncapped the jar and applied a generous amount of ointment on the cut to staunch the bleeding before he reached into his own sleeve to pull out a piece of cloth. He then ripped the cloth into smaller strips and pressed a small strip over on top of the ointment he applied on my cheek to cover the wound.

"There we go." Souji mumbled to himself when he was satisfied with his work. "With luck, that cut won't scar. It's not fitting for such a beauty to have a scar on her face."

Souji then recapped the jar and returned it to me before he took my hand so we could begin walking back to headquarters.

"Shizuka, why are you so quiet?" Souji suddenly asked on our way back, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "I get that it's a little shocking to find out that some thugs are after you, but I didn't actually expect you to be this silent. What else is bothering you?"

A lot. I was close to the answers I had been seeking since my rebirth, but this time… This time I was afraid. What would the others think? What would Souji think of me? I was afraid that they would reject me. I was afraid that Souji would think I had been lying to him all this time about who I truly was. When I was first reborn into this time, I had nothing to lose. But now, I had everything to lose.

When I didn't reply, Souji frowned before he stopped walking and grabbed my shoulders so he could turn me around to face him.

"So, is there anything you would like to tell me before Kenji-kun arrives at headquarters later with an explanation? If you know anything now, then as your husband, I would like to know."

* * *

[1] The Sanzu River (三途の川 Sanzu-no-kawa), or River of Three Crossings, is a Japanese Buddhist tradition and religious belief similar to the River Styx. It is believed that on the way to the afterlife, the dead must cross the river, which is why a Japanese funeral includes placing six coins in the deceased's casket. The Sanzu River is popularly believed to be located in Mount Osore, a suitably desolate and remote region of northern Japan (Aomori Prefecture).

[2] Flash blindness is visual impairment during and following exposure to a light flash of extremely high intensity. It may last for a few seconds to a few minutes.


	75. Chapter 72

Sorry for the slow update. Things were really hectic this week, plus, this chapter was difficult to write.

* * *

**Chapter 72**

"Knowledge is power. Power to do evil...or power to do good. Power itself is not evil. So knowledge itself is not evil." ― Veronica Roth, _Allegiant_

"Well?" Souji asked with a hint of impatience when I averted my gaze and remained silent.

Even if I didn't verbally answer, the silence itself was an answer. It indicated to Souji that I did know something and I was keeping it hidden all this time. Souji was the type of person who liked to know everything in the marriage. Just missing a subtle sign of something or me not telling him everything was enough to drive him up the wall. And now…now I had kept something so massive from him, there would be no way he would be happy with me. However, my biggest worry wasn't the fact he would be angry with me for keeping this to myself but how he would react to what I told him. Would he think that I had been lying to him all this time about who I truly was? Would he loathe me? Would he file for divorce after finding out the truth? And my biggest fear, if Souji did file for divorce then would he send me away while he kept Ryota? Despite how great these fears were, they were just the beginning. What would Otou-san think? Then there was everyone else. The fear was overwhelming. As the intense fear washed over me, I froze in place. It felt like ice was creeping up my veins.

I-I—

It was getting…it was getting difficult to think…

I—I… No—I…

"Shizuka!?" Souji cried in distress as he caught me as I suddenly collapsed. His eyes wide with panic as he tried to deduce what caused my sudden collapse. "What's wrong?! A panic attack?! Shizuka, this isn't the time to be having a panic attack! Shizuka?!"

I couldn't breathe! It felt as if my chest was constricting around my heart and lungs and crushing the life out of me. As my vision faded to black, my last thought was, "If I was going to lose everything then perhaps it was best if I died here. I can't face future." I would rather die than be reject by Souji. With the future feeling so dark and grim, I would welcome death with a warm embrace and hope this time it wouldn't reject me.

* * *

"Souji! What happened?!" a hazy voice meandered its way into my still dark consciousness some time later.

Where was I? From what I could feel, I was laid on something soft. So I see… It appeared I didn't spontaneously die from that little event before. It was merely a panic attack, although I wish it had killed me. Rejection…no…it was something I couldn't deal with…

"Kondou-san!" a voice exclaimed from my side before I heard the rustling of clothing and fading footsteps followed by doors closing. "She collapsed and lost consciousness on the way back to headquarters from a panic attack. When I got her back to headquarters, I had Yamazaki-kun look at her. She's fine, but she has a fever now." the voice continued, but sounding muffled this time.

"Shizu-chan had a panic attack?" asked the first voice. "But that doesn't make sense. While there are some nasty characters after her, it's not in her character for her to succumb to a panic attack like that. She's never fallen unconscious like this before."

"The panic attack wasn't a result of the attack from earlier. If it was, then there would have been no way for her to stay conscious during the battle, let alone use a flash bomb logically. This has to be something else."

"Something else? What do you think it is?"

"I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with being called the 'Higanbana'. She knows something and she neglected to tell us."

"…"

"Kondou-san." said a new voice as it appeared with a set of footsteps, signaling the arrival of a new person. "Fuma's here now. He says he has some information that can shed some light on the situation. Is Shizuka awake yet?"

Kenji-san is here now? Despite my fear of losing everyone, I still wanted my answers. If I was going to be rejected after everyone found out the truth then I at least wanted my answers too. Forcing my eyes to open, I looked around first before sitting up. My vision was still blurry, but I was still able to see well enough to be figure out where I was. I was back at headquarters and in mine and Souji's room. I could see the silhouettes of Souji, Otou-san, and Hijikata-san on the door of the room as they discussed me outside the room.

"No, she's not awake yet." Souji answered Hijikata-san.

"I see." Hijikata-san said. "Then let's proceed to the meeting without her."

Quickly stumbling to my feet, I clumsily fumbled my way to the door before I struggled to slide it open.

"Shizu-chan?!" Otou-san exclaimed in concern as he rushed to wrap his arms around my waist before I could collapse again when he saw the door open.

"I'm…I'm awake…" I panted in exhaustion. The aftermath of a panic attack was never pretty and often left the sufferer in less than ideal conditions.

"No, you're not." Hijikata-san said sternly before he placed a hand on my forehead. "You're covered in cold sweat and you have a fever right now. You need to go back to bed and sleep off the fever."

"No… I want…I want to know… Please…" I pleaded, causing Hijikata-san to look back at me in exasperation and guilt.

"Shizuka…"Hijikata-san sighed before crossing his arms. "No—"

As Hijikata-san was rejecting my request, Souji swept me off my feet by picking me up. Hijikata-san seemed so surprise by Souji's sudden action that he cut his own sentence off.

"Let's go." Souji said to both Hijikata-san and Otou-san. "Kenji-kun is waiting for us, right? It's rude to keep a guest waiting on us."

"Fine." Hijikata-san relented before he started heading back to the main hall. Otou-san and Souji began following him shortly afterwards.

I wanted to thank Souji for standing up for me and allowing me to come to the meeting, but when I looked up at Souji, I realized that he avoided looking at me directly. That realization was then what lead me to another realization: Souji hadn't directly looked at me since I emerged from the bedroom. He must have already started to create distance between us so he could prepare for the worse and that alone made me want to gut myself.

* * *

"Oh, good." Kenji-san commented so laxly that he almost sounded lazy once he saw us arrive. "Now that everyone is here, we can begin the meeting."

"Well, go ahead and start explaining." Hijikata-san snipped impatiently as he sat down.

Souji went ahead and took a seat and placed me next to him. Otou-san then quickly sat next to me so I could lean on his shoulder if I needed to and so he could easily reach over and soothingly run his hand through my hair, but I leaned away from his touch. I felt like I didn't deserve the affection that Otou-san showered on me and couldn't accept whatever he had to offer.

"Wait." I said just as Kenji-san opened his mouth to explain. He shot me a dirty look for interrupting him, but I didn't really care at the moment. I knew he didn't like being interrupted, but I was more concern about where my son was at the moment. I didn't see him with Sannan-san or anyone else. "Where's Ryota?"

"He's asleep right now and since I thought it would be best to provide a quiet place for him to sleep undisturbed." Sannan-san answered pleasantly. "Worry not. He's not alone right now. I passed him off to Shimada-san for the time being. Now, Fuma-kun, if you may, please continue."

"Ah, yes. Thank you very much Sannan." Kenji-san said pleasantly once he was done giving me the stink eye. "Well, to start off, do all you guys know the myth about the higanbana?"

"Yes." came from most of the people in the room while "No." came from two people, more specifically: Souji and Saito-san.

"Wait, how the hell do you not know of the myth?" Heisuke asked in surprise, though it almost sounded an accusation. "The myth is so common and well-known that even young children know about it."

"Oh geez, well my bad." Souji answered sarcastically with a caustic edge to his words. "As a serious swordsman, I don't have time for childish myths that don't matter, right Hajime-kun?"

"That is correct." Saito-san replied, abet far calmer than Souji did. "Knowing this myth has no impact on my skill as a swordsman and is therefore irrelevant to me, which begs the question: What does this particular myth have to do anything with Shizuka?"

"Well, if you know the myth then it's actually easier to understand." Kenji-san said as he blew a stray strand of hair off his nose. "Okay, so I'll go ahead and explain the myth to ones that don't know. So there is supposedly a river, called the Sanzu River, that separates the living from the dead. In order for people to be reincarnated after death, they must cross this river. As you should know, when people are reincarnated, they are done so without memories of their past lives. However, it is said that the higanbana grow on the shore and are able to make the dead remember their memories on last time before their memories of their past life disappear forever. These flowers also function as a guide for the dead. The higanbana point the dead in the right direction towards reincarnation. Because of what this flower does, it had come to hold the meaning of 'lost memories', 'death', and 'reincarnation'."

"Okay, so? What does any of this have to do with Shizuka?" Souji asked as he tapped his fingers on his knee.

"Take the meanings of the flower and apply them to Shizuka." Kenji-san said. "Oh, and drop the 'lost' in the 'lost memories'." he then added as an afterthought.

The room fell silent for a few short seconds, which felt like several tense hours to me, before everyone's eyes seemed to widen in at the same time. There were a mixture of emotions that flashed across everyone's faces. There was shock, awe, and even a bit of smugness that came from Hijikata-san.

"So that's why you've always been a bit strange." Hijikata-san broke the silence with a smirk. That…that was definitely not the reaction I was expecting… "You were always a bit mature for your age. Thirty-one years old when you left your past life, huh…"

"A-Amazing! Shizu-chan really is a gift from the gods." Otou-san stuttered in awe after Hijikata-san. He was just rolling with what he just learned without any questions?!

Otou-san's and Hijikata-san's reactions…they were unexpected and were certainly a lot better than what I expected to have happened. Did that mean that I worried over nothing? However, I was sadly mistaken when I glanced over to meekly peek at Souji. Souji's reaction was completely different from Hijikata-san's and Otou-san's. When I sneaked a peek over at Souji, he was glaring at the tatami mats while gritting his teeth angrily.

"Souji?" I asked in a fearful shyness as I slowly reached out so I could touch his shoulder, but he stood up before my hand could reach him. Then without another word, he stomped out the room, slamming the door so hard behind him that it rattled the other shoji screens while completely destroying any hope that had risen from Hijikata-san's and Otou-san's unexpected reactions.

"Hmm…" Kenji-san mumbled with a small frown as he looked from the door to me as I brought my knees up to my face to cover the tears that had started forming. "That didn't go as well as I planned…"

"Souji must feel like he was cheated in some way. Ah, he'll need some time to adjust to this information. Don't be afraid, Shizuka. There's no way Souji would stop loving you over this." Sano-san said after a tired sigh as he offered me a small stressed, but comforting smile before he turned to Shinpachi-san and Heisuke. "Oi! You guys can pick your jaws off the ground now and put them back where they belong."

"W-Wah…?" was all Shinpachi-san manage to say in response while Heisuke continued to gape at me.

"As strange as Shizuka's situation is, this does not explain to us why Kazama and the others were after Shizuka." Saito-san stated calmly. He seemed to have been the one that recover the quickest out of all the men. "Why would Shizuka's memories of her past life hold any value to Kazama?"

"Well, that brings me to another legend. This time, this legend is not so well known and only passed down within certain families." Kenji-san said as he prepared for another explanation. "As you know in the old legends and myths of our country, there are such creatures that are known as oni and they have been at odds with humans for ages. We've fought, kill, and plundered from each other. Now, one of the Seven Lucky Gods, Fukurokuju, was disheartened and distressed over the way the oni and the humans killed each other, as he was the god of longevity and prosperity. Determined to bring an end to the killing between both races so that both could prosper and live full lives, Fukurokuju decided that he would find a way to bridge the two races so that they would live in harmony with each other rather than kill each other. Using his powers, seeing that he was the only god that could raise the dead, Fukurokuju selected an individual to be reincarnated, with his memories, and also gifted this individual with certain knowledge in an area. The memories of the past life was used to ensure that the individual knew how to use this knowledge. As for what the knowledge was, it could range from knowledge of engineering, language, medicine, and more. It was limitless. Now, this individual that was reincarnated with his memories was human and because of this, he lived among other humans. This forced the oni to cooperate with humans because they too wanted to benefit from this knowledge. As for the humans, it forced them to cooperate with the oni because only the oni could sense this individual without fail. This model appeared to have worked, because a Higanbana seemed to continue appear throughout history. However, in truth, no one really knows if this legend is actually true or not. The legend's main purpose was just to explain the unexplainable phenomenon of individuals being born throughout history with knowledge they should have had no way of knowing."

"So this explains why those bastards would want Shizuka. Knowledge is powerful when used correctly, but that doesn't explain why they might want her dead, especially because oni aren't real." Hijikata-san commented as he crossed his arms.

"That's where history and legend get kind of mixed up and screwy." Kenji-san answered as he ran his hand through his hair as he ignored the part about oni not being real. "It's said in history that this model worked well up until the last Higanbana before Shizuka-chan. The last Higanbana before this was born in the summer of the year 1551. By some random strings of fate, this Higanbana ended up under the services of Tokugawa Ieyasu."

"WHAT?!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed loudly in surprise, interrupting Kenji-san. "The founder of the Tokugawa era?!"

"Yes." Kenji-san answered disgruntledly, unpleased at the interruption. "Ieyasu had a reputation for being both cautious and wise, but the truth is that it was because the Higanbana was whispering advice into his ears the whole time. This particular Higanbana was a man who called himself a historian." Kenji-san scoffed, showing his distaste for this particular man. "This clearly showed this man's condescending and prideful nature. He was calling himself a historian because he thought that he himself could shape history. Well, anyways…"

Wait…historian? That was enough to grab my attention through my grief. Was this man really as bad as Kenji-san said he was or was the reason that man called himself a historian was really because he was a historian? Was he from the future like me? Actually, if I thought about the legend Kenji-san told before, these previous people that held the position of Higanbana had knowledge of things they should have had no way of knowing… Perhaps the reason they all had "unworldly" knowledge was not because it was a gift from some god but because they were from the future too.

"Now this Higanbana seemed to know when and how every event would play out and Ieyasu soon realized that this Higanbana seemed to know the future and so he followed everything the Higanbana told him and, eventually in the end, Ieyasu became the first shogun. However, once Ieyasu became the shogun, he made a terrible mistake. Ieyasu was terribly jealous to the strength and powers of the oni that aided him on his road to become the shogun, but most of all, he feared their power and believed that the oni were a threat to his rule as shogun. Doing what he had grown accustom to, he asked the Higanbana for advice regarding how he should deal with the oni. However, this is where the Higanbana seemed to be out of his expertise. The Higanbana suggested that Ieyasu wage war on the oni clans to wipe them out. The cost of this war was terrible. The oni clans were nearly all wiped out, but the damage on Ieyasu's army was too great. In the end, it was said that the Higanbana had his head chopped off like a common criminal. His name and the war was then stricken from all historical records while the oni retreated into hiding. Most oni never full trusted humans after Ieyasu and the line of Higanbana ended, or at least everyone believed it had until Shizuka appeared as the Higanbana. So as for why Kazama and his friends want Shizuka-san dead, they don't have much faith in humans and have come to believe that if they can't use her then they need to make sure she can't be used against them."

"I see…" Otou-san said quietly while he continued to rub my back gently to distract me from my fever and Souji's angry absence. "But oni… they are a constant theme in this explanation, but they aren't real…"

"Yes they are." Kenji instantly said to contradict Otou-san's statement. "The reason that most people now don't believe oni are real is because after Ieyasu, most of the clans were utterly destroyed. Pure oni are rare now and most of them had gone into hiding. The few oni not in hiding now have been pressed into service to the various domains and will go into hiding once their contract is done. The reason people don't believe in oni anymore is because they are disappearing from sight."

"Oni…" Chizuru-chan, who was quiet the earlier before, mumbled to herself while appearing in deep thought after hearing Kenji-san's explanation.

After hearing Chizuru-chan's quiet mumble, Kenji-san spared her a short glance before he spoke again. "As for why they were after Yukimura here, the surname Yukimura is an oni surname, but guessing by how confused she looks, it looks like she didn't know. Kazama was probably disgusted that an oni would live surrounded by humans."

"Wait!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed before she averted her and mumbled "S-So I'm an oni?"

"Yes, but it is rather reasonable that you didn't know." Kenji-san said. "The Yukimura clan was destroyed years ago. You were most likely young enough to easily forget the trauma of the clan destruction."

Once Kenji-san was done speaking, everyone fell silent once again to think over the massive amount of information they received in an uncomfortable silence.

"Well," Kenji-san finally said when the silence didn't abate, "I probably gave you guys enough to think about for tonight, so I'm just gonna go now and give you time to process all this new info."

"Wait." I finally spoke up in a meek voice after I wiped some of my tears away. I wish Souji was here for what I was going to say. "The reason I and all the others that came before me seem to know 'unworldly knowledge' is not because the knowledge was a gift from some god. It's because we died in the future and were reincarnated into the past."

"WHAT?!" everyone exclaimed in surprise. Even Kenji-san seemed totally surprised.

"Seriously?!" Heisuke commented. "Everything already has enough twists and turns, but there's more?! I thought reincarnation worked by having people be reborn in the future, not the past!"

"Future?" questioned Sannan-san with great curiosity. "How far in the future?"

"I was born in the year 1984 and I died in 2015."

"The year 2015?!" Otou-san said as he stared wide-eyed at me. "That's one hundred fifty years in the future! To think how much medicine has advanced in the future… Wait… Does this mean you know the future of Japan?"

"Yes, but I probably can't tell you the details of what happened in this era." I mumbled as I buried my face into my knees again. "I didn't specialize in Japanese history. All I really know about the Shinsengumi in this era is that they were a specialized police force and that Otou-san was the commander while Hijikata-san was the vice commander."

"I see… Then what about this country?" Otou-san then questioned with new found excitement. "How is it in the future?"

"Japan is among the well-known, respected, developed countries in the world and most famous for electronics, or in simpler terms, technology."

"Hahaha!" Otou-san laughed happily. I bet he was glad that the foreigners didn't manage to colonize Japan like they did with the other countries and was even happier at the fact that Japan could stand on equal footing with the other countries. After Otou-san was done with his prideful cheer, he looked like he was about to say something else, but after he looked at me once more, his mood grew more somber before he placed his hand on my forehead to check on my temperature again. "You need to rest. It's already late enough and you still have a fever." he said in a softer tone.

"But…but what about Ryota and Souji?" I asked quietly, barely swallowing a sob after I said Souji's name. What would happen between me and Souji? Was he going to hate me from now on?

"I'll take care of Ryota for tonight so you can get some rest. As for Souji…"

"I'll talk to him." Hijikata-san said as he jumped into the conversation before he stood up. "Everyone's dismissed. Saito, walk Chizuru back to her room. We'll wrap things up in the morning after a good night's rest."

"Sir." Saito-san answered back obediently as everyone else shuffled out of the room.

When everyone left the room, Otou-san stood up himself before he picked me up and began carrying me back to my room.

"Oh… You don't need to carry me back." I protested the action weakly. "I can still walk."

"Nonsense." Otou-san reprimanded me gently. "It's my job as your Otou-san to look out for you. Despite being a grown woman with your own family now, you are still my lovely daughter."

At Otou-san's words new tears welled up in my eyes. Despite knowing that I was from the future, despite knowing that I still had memories of my past life, and despite knowing that I had the mind of an adult from the very beginning, Otou-san still considered me his daughter. He didn't care about my origins. To him I was still his child.

"I… Otou-san…" I murmured as I sniffled a bit.

"Now, now, remember, no tears. Otou-san doesn't like to see Shizu-chan's tears." Otou-san said with a soft smile as we arrived at my bedroom. He quickly entered and carefully placed me on the futon before he wiped away my tears with his fingers and he looked at me with a more serious expression. "I know you're scared of what Souji might think, but I know he still loves you. He just needs some time to process all these new developments. Don't worry, I know Toshi will get through to him."

I nodded, though somewhat ruefully. Hijikata-san was skilled at making people understand difficult situations, but this was Souji he was dealing with. Dealing with Souji required a bit more finesse than what Hijikata-san normally had to use with others. Hijikata-san probably could get through to Souji, but there were usually punches thrown first.

"Alright." Otou-san said before he pecked my forehead. "I'm going to go relieve Shimada-san of Ryota. Take some time to speak to Souji and then sleep off the fever, okay?"

I nodded once more and Otou-san ruffled my hair in an affectionate gesture before he left the room. I almost couldn't believe all that had happened in the past few hours. Thinking back, it was just so hard to believe that Souji and I were discussing my breast size in a joking manner just a few hours back before…before everything just went to hell and fell apart. Even when all the other accepted me without questions asked, it would be a small consolation prize if Souji rejected me in the end. I was afraid. Was Souji going to hate me? Would he demand a divorce? If he wanted a divorce then what would happen to Ryota? I didn't want my son to have a broken family.

Other than my own problems, there were also Chizuru-chan's problems. I wasn't the only target of Kazama tonight. Chizuru-chan, who was already quickly becoming part of the Shinsengumi family, also found out that she was apparently an oni and we barely even touched upon her problems tonight. It felt like everything was quickly spinning out of control. I-I—

Once again, my thoughts became muddled again as it felt like boulders were being pressed against my chest. But then, suddenly as soon as it became difficult to breathe again, arms gently wrapped around me as someone settled behind me and pulled me against his chest.

"Shizuka, calm down and focus on breathing." Souji said soothingly against my ear.

What was he doing here? I thought—

"Shizuka, I can tell you're still thinking about other things. Just focus on breathing. You of all people should know that it's detrimental to your own health to work yourself up into this state."

Unable to really do anything else, I just followed the instructions that Souji whispered into my ear and soon enough, the pressure on my chest slowly eased up as air once again flooded my lungs.

"Souji…?" I asked meekly as I peeked up at him, afraid I'd finally gone mad and was just imagining all of this. "I…I thought that—"

"Wait Shizuka, don't speak yet." either real Souji or hallucination Souji said.

I didn't quite dare believe that this was my actual husband speaking to me. Mixed with my own fever and the way that Souji stormed out of the main hall earlier, it was just easier to believe that I was imagining all of this.

"I want to explain my actions first." he continued. "Earlier when I left the room… It wasn't because I was mad at you. I was angry at myself. What that blond bastard said to me while locked in combat, as your husband, I should have known everything, but I didn't. Then during the meeting earlier, when Hijikata-san said you were thirty-one years old when you passed away in your past life… I just lost it right there. I mean, Hijikata-san, who had known you for a shorter amount of time than me, knew more about you than I did and I'm your husband! It should have been me who knew more about you than anyone else…"

"It's okay, figment of my imagination." I mumbled back in a depressed response. It had to be my imagination, right? There was no way I was going to be forgiven that easily.

"'Figment of your imagination'?" he questioned while looking utterly confused before he placed a hand on my forehead. It was amazing how real this hallucination felt. "Your fever hasn't risen… Damn it. I figured you'd be the type of person that would be really loopy when in denial, but not this loopy." he then mumbled with sigh before he pulled on my cheeks, hard.

OW! What the hell! If this was just my imagination then it wouldn't actually hurt at all! Then did that mean… I-I just thought my husband was just a figment of imagination when he was saying something that important?! I was so miserable that I wanted to die earlier, but now I was so mortified that I wanted to die. I-I c-can't believe I just did that!

"S-Souji?" I stuttered as I immediately shot out of his arms as I turned to face his with a massive blush of embarrassment. "I-I…"

"Well, now that you're out of you strange loopy depressed state we can finally talk." Souji said with a sigh of exasperation as he crossed his arms at me. "You heard what I said earlier, right?"

I grew somber after that question. Souji was mad at himself for not knowing about everything, but he shouldn't have even been mad at himself. I was relieved that he didn't seem to be rejecting me, but why wasn't he mad at me? The reason he was so upset in the first place was originally my fault.

"You shouldn't blame yourself." I mumbled quietly as I averted my gaze. It felt too difficult to look him directly in the eyes. "It was originally me that didn't say anything."

"It's true that I'm not mad at you for not telling me, but that doesn't mean I'm not upset. Why didn't you tell me?" Souji asked after a few moments of silence as he placed his fingers under my chin so he could raise my face to look him in the eyes. "You know I don't like it when you hide from me."

"I know… It's just, how could I have told you about my memories of my past life?" I scoffed as I looked down and focused my gaze on the blankets. "What could I say? 'Oh hey, I'm from the future and I was reincarnated into the past with all my memories'? Would that have even worked?"

"Yes. That would have worked." Souji said quietly, causing me to pause and look him directly in the eyes. "You know I will always believe if you're telling the truth no matter how absurd it sounds. There was no need for you to be so terrified of telling me the truth."

"But I was terrified." I said, deciding to come completely clean. "I was afraid and still am afraid that you'll believe that I was lying to you the whole time about who I truly was…"

"But you weren't lying." Souji said as he pulled me close again so I could rest my weary head against his chest. "You may have not told me about your memories, but I know for a fact that you never pretended to be someone else you weren't when you were with me. I know who you truly are at your very core. All that matters to me is that you are you."

I am me…? Was that really only what cared about? That I never hid my true core personality from him?

"But there is still something I want to know." Souji said after a moment of hesitation, this time with fear of his own. "Did you… Did you have a family in your past life?"

The question itself seemed innocent enough, but what he was really asking was: Did I have a husband in my past life? Someone that I was in love with? Of course I didn't, but he didn't know that it was causing him great pain. It was time I told him about my past life to ease his fears.


	76. Chapter 73

**Chapter 73**

"It's being here now that's important. There's no past and there's no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can't relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don't know if there is one." ― George Harrison

"Family… Yes, I did have family in my past life, but not the type of family you're asking about." I answered Souji while allowing my body to slack against his chest. I was tired from all the events that had occurred tonight and I had a fever too, but I personally thought that it was more important to answer Souji's questions now rather than wait until I felt better later.

"You mean…?" Souji asked, his arms tightening around my waist as his voice betrayed the schooled expression he wore on his face with tones of hopefulness.

"I had parents, grandparents, and a younger brother, but no family of my own." I said as I wrapped my arms around him so I could snuggle in closer. "I was never married; I didn't have a lover, but I had been courted by other men; nor did I bear any children of my own. Although, I guess some people could argue that my dog was my child. I spoiled her rotten."

Souji chuckled at my last two sentences before he pecked the top of my head as a sign of relief. "You had a dog? I had always taken you for a cat person, especially because of the presence of Fuku in our childhood. So how did you spoil your dog rotten? Did she grow fat from all the snacks you gave her?"

"Not quite." I said with a small smile as I thought back to my sweet friend, whom I named Nala. "It's kind of hard for a saluki to grow fat."

"A saluki? What kind of dog is that? A Western breed?" Souji asked curiously, unfamiliar with the type of dog I was speaking of.

"No, they're not Western. This breed originated in the Middle East. Salukis are slim sighthounds that have been originally used to hunt quarry such as gazelle and hare. They were built for long distance running and have amazing endurance. She was just the sweetest thing. She used to wake me up early in the morning each day, around the Hour of the Tiger, just so she could drag me out for a run. She always ran circles around me and I could never keep up, but it was always fun none the less."

"I see." Souji said with a chuckle as he saw how enthusiastic I became when talking about my dog. I couldn't help it. Just finally being able to speak about my past life felt like unspeakable freedom. "Then what was your family like? Where did you guys live?"

"Well… Hmm…" I said with a finger on my lips as I pieced together what to tell him. Souji would want to know how I grew up and what my quality of life was like. "Want me to start at the very beginning?"

"Sure." he answered just as he shifted my body completely onto his lap so we both could be more comfortable.

"Okay then. Well, my haha's name in my past life was Fu Mei-Ling and my chichi's was Cheng Ju-Long."

"Wait." Souji interrupted me with a confused glance as he process the names. "Those are Chinese names. You were Chinese in your past life?"

"Well, for the most part." I answered, confusing Souji even more. "Both my parents were from a farming village in Guizhou Province of mainland China. I personally always thought that the name was ironic because while the Chinese character in the name meant precious, rich, and expensive, it was one of the poorest provinces in China. Anyways, my chichi was born in the year 1963 and my haha was born in the year 1964. While being born in this time period in China wasn't the best, I still considered them rather fortunate. When they were born, they had missed the Chinese Civil War by a couple of years and they also missed the Great Chinese Famine by about three years."

"Chinese Civil War? Great Chinese Famine? What were those events?" Souji asked as he tightened his hold on me slightly.

"The Chinese Civil War was basically a government turnover, but I don't know too many details since I was never someone who really focused on history. As for the Great Chinese Famine, it was one of the largest man-made disasters in human history. Estimates of the number of casualties varied greatly and it was estimated that over fourteen million people died of starvation, and the number of reported births was about twenty-tree million fewer than under normal conditions." I explain, carefully noting the look of unease on his face. Souji was someone who could relate to starvation. Even though he could not remember his father, he could still remember the time after his father died and how difficult the struggle was for his mother and sisters to put food on the table. There were days were he and his family went to bed hungry. "Souji? Are you okay?" I asked as I rubbed his upper arm.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Go ahead and continue."

"Well, both my parents were born in a poor farming village that I don't even know the name of. Both of them were farmers that received relatively little education. My haha only finished primary school and my chichi only finished secondary school. With such low levels of education it was unlikely they could be anything else other than poor farmers." I further explained, tickling Souji's curiosity even more. I suppose the low origins of my parents was something that he wasn't expecting, seeing how I became a trauma surgeon, someone who was highly educated. The difference between the education I received compared to my parents was astounding. "So both my parents continued working on the farms in their small village and eventually got married in 1983. Shortly after marriage, my haha got pregnant with me. When my haha fell pregnant with me, both she and my chichi decided that they wanted me to have a better life than them. The village was no place to raise a child. They also decided that they wanted to have more than one child at the same time, which also happened to be illegal in many parts of China at the time due to the government implementing the One-Child Policy in 1979. So after a short discussion, my chichi was determine to leave China for the United States of America in hopes of finding a chance at a better life. To leave China, my chichi managed to obtain a temporary agricultural worker visa[1]. He went ahead of my haha to begin work as a labor in the orange orchards of California and once he settled in, he sent for my haha. When both of my parents were reunited, my haha was thirty weeks pregnant with me. I was born on November 26, 1984 a couple weeks later and my haha chose the name Qiu-Yue for me because I was born in the autumn on the night of a beautiful full moon. So going back to your early question about me being Chinese in my past life, I was Chinese, but I was also an American. Just by being born in the United States granted me an American citizenship."

"Qiu-Yue…" Souji quietly mumbled after I paused before he looked down fondly at me with a nostalgic smile. "I think the name would still suit you. You always did like Tsukimi[2]."

"Well, that's because of the Tsukimi dango[3]." I replied, sounding rather childish as I pouted. Souji just merely laughed at my childishness before poking my puffed up cheek to signal me to continue. "Anyways, we didn't live a luxurious life right away afterwards in America either. My chichi worked hard to only earn barely enough to pay for our one room rented apartment. We were so poor that we didn't even have a real bed to sleep on. The three of us would sleep on top of a mat together at night and share one blanket. So once my haha recovered enough from childbirth, she went to go find a job to help support the family. My haha eventually ended up with a job were people paid her to wash their clothing. Now skipping forwards a few years to when I was four, my parents had finally began their road to naturalization and they had also saved up enough money to move on to a better life. With the money we did have, my chichi took out a small business loan to start his own restaurant. My chichi had always been talented at cooking and my haha, despite her low education, was good with money management. Our restaurant never became famous, but it was popular enough. With the earnings that my parents made, it was enough to raise our standard of living up to what people called 'middle class'."

"So your parents in your past life owned a restaurant?" Souji said as he tilted his head slightly to the side. "So this is why your cooking is so much better than all the other guys."

… It actually wasn't difficult to cook better than all the guys. Their standard of what quality cooking was is surprisingly low. So low that it was easy to satisfy them when Chizuru-chan and I made something ridiculously simple. I personally didn't think I was an extraordinary cook, especially when compared to my dad's in my past life, but hey, each to their own. If the men thought my cooking was good then I wasn't going to try to change their minds.

"So when I was eight years old, my parents decided it was a good time to have another child. My younger brother was five years younger than me and his personality was very similar to that of Isao-kun's, although he didn't grow up to be as strange as Isao-kun. Unlike Isao-kun, my little brother could take beatings very well and never let people step on him."

"Oh! That's why you allowed Isao-kun to hang around you all the time when we were younger? Because he reminded you of your little brother?" he asked as it looked like a light went off in his head. "This is why you didn't return his feelings when you were younger… He was too similar to your little brother."

"Yup." I said with a nod. "Just the thought of possibly courting Isao-kun was enough to make me shutter. I mean, I loved my younger brother, but just not in that way. It's just… Ew…"

Souji laughed gleefully at my reaction and squeezed me a bit as he nuzzled the side of my neck affectionately. "So no serious lovers in your past life?"

"None." I affirmed once again. "Once I completed all of my education and began work as a trauma surgeon, my parents worried that I would never marry. I never displayed any interest in any men. Soon my parents began introducing me to men they liked in hopes of me getting married and giving them grandchildren, but sadly for them, I wasn't all that interested in romance. I guess you could say it was because I was incredibly dense. I never noticed the acts of romance the men performed with and because of that, they all said I was boring and parted ways with me shortly afterwards. But at the same time, I didn't really care all that much for romance. In the future, especially in the Western countries, people chose who they wanted to marry themselves. Arranged marriages were less than a common practice, so the way to get married was by wooing someone you liked."

"So, you came across no one you liked enough to marry or become seriously involved with?" Souji asked despite knowing the answer already. He merely wanted an affirmation, but he clearly didn't wait for me to give one to him as he began swelling with masculine pride as he puffed his chest out smugly. "And here I was, worried that you had someone else. I never thought I would be thankful for your annoying obliviousness regarding romance." he said before he playfully pushed me onto my back on the futon. He grinned at me mischievously as he hovered over me before he happily rolled onto his side as he pulled me back against him to cuddle. "Mine." he claimed possessively as he nuzzled the side of my face.

I couldn't help but giggle merrily at his playfulness. It was at times like this I thought Souji was the most adorable person in the world. It was almost enough for me to forget about my fever, but sadly my ruddy fever wasn't going to go away just because I was happy. I let myself laugh a bit longer before I continued with the brief details of my past life. As soon as I was done, I needed to sleep.

"But thankfully for my parents, not all their hopes were dashed. Before I died, my little brother got engaged. It's just extremely unfortunate that I died right before my brother's wedding." I said as I sobered up with a sigh. "My death probably tainted the happy nature of the wedding."

At the sound of my sigh, Souji looked over at me concernedly before he took a deep breath, like he was about to jump into deep water. "Shizuka… If you don't mind me asking… How did you die before?"

"My death was caused by an unintentional injury[4] that was fatal." I said quietly after an uncomfortable pause. "One night, I was driving back home in a device called a car, which was essentially a horseless carriage, and I got hit by a drunk driver. When the drunk driver's car hit mine, my car was hit with enough force to shear the metal it was constructed with, and the jagged edges of the metal were then driven into me as the front of my car got smashed. The metal was speared all the way through me, catching both my liver and left kidney at the same time... I never felt more alone than the moment I bled to death as the rescue workers were attempting to cut me out of the wreck..."

Both of us fell quiet as I finished speaking. Talking about my death was still something I was uncomfortable talking about and something I would probably never feel comfortable talking about. Sure, it was in my past life and my past life was over, but it didn't erase the trauma I felt at the moment of death. The pain, loneliness, and fear I felt was all very real and probably even scarred my mind.

"Is…is this why there was a time you were terrified of being alone?" Souji asked me quietly, referring back to that night so many years ago.

"Yes…" I murmured as I moved closer to Souji. "That night was when the truth of everything hit me. Before that, I never actually acknowledged that I truly died before and once I did, I was terrified. If you weren't there that night… I don't know what I would have done… Thank you for everything." I finished with a small sniffle as I held on to him tighter.

Souji chuckled lightly at my words as he gently ran his hands through my hair, carefully and gently removing all the knots. "You don't have to say 'thank you' to me, remember?"

"Well, I'm just going to have to ignore that, right?" I said as I buried my face against his chest. "Thank you for everything."

"Heh." Souji said fondly as he continued to brush my hair with his fingers. "Come on, it's late. We should be sleeping. Plus, you still have a fever to sleep off."

* * *

The sound of whining, crying, and sniffling woke me up the next morning before the sun had even began to rise. Shaking my sleepiness off, I noticed that Souji was no longer lying next to me on the bed but was standing at the door of our bedroom. Otou-san was at the door passing Ryota off to Souji while looking apologetic.

"Sorry about this, Souji. Ryota was hungry when he woke up and I couldn't placate him by feeding him solid food. He wants his okaa-san's milk." Otou-san informed Souji in a hushed voice to avoid waking anyone else up.

"It's fine, Kondou-san." Souji answer with a hint of sleepiness in his voice. "Even though Ryota can eat some solid foods now, he actually spends more time smearing the food around instead of eating. I can't imagine he will be too happy in the future when he'll be weaned."

"How is Shizu-chan?"

"She's fine now. I just checked on her a little bit earlier. Her fever's gone."

"I see." Otou-san with a nod. "How did your talk go yesterday?"

"It was good. Shizuka told me about her past life. Did you know that both her parents in her past life were farmers too?"

"Really?" Otou-san said, sounding rather relieved. "I was worried all of last night that she suffered as my daughter in this life because I was farmer before, but I guess rebirth didn't really change that."

At that moment, Ryota's crying became louder, drawing Otou-san's and Souji's attention back onto him as he whined some more while pushing his face into Souji's chest.

"Okay, okay, let's get you to Okaa-san so she can feed you." Souji said to his son before offering Otou-san one last smile. Otou-san smiled back at Souji before closing the door and returning to his room to nap for the remaining thirty minutes before he would be forced to get up for the day.

"He's hungry?" I asked just as Souji was turning around, surprising him when he realized I was already awake.

"You're already up?" he asked, a little more awake than he was before, as he returned to the futon so he could pass Ryota off to me after I loosened my sleeping robe.

"I heard Ryota crying." I answered as I took our son from him. I cooed at Ryota before holding him to my breast. "Okay Ryota, no more whining. Okaa-san has milk for you."

Without further complaint, Ryota instantly latched on and began nursing as he happily waved his hands up and down, causing Souji to chuckle at the happy display.

"So Ryota is the only child you ever had in both your lives…" Souji mumbled in awe, like he suddenly realized something, before he settled down behind me with his arms underneath mine to help support our son.

"Yes…" I confirmed as I looked down at Ryota to watch him eat. It was hard to believe that he was several months old already. He grew so fast.

"I'm the only one that got you pregnant…" Souji seemingly mumbled with pride to himself as he went off on a tangent. "I'm the only one you ever started a family with…"

"Souji?" I asked before I turned my head to observe him. If I had to use one word to describe what he was like at the moment then I would use the word "peacock". Sure, there were moments where Souji seemed unbearably proud and cocky, but nothing would compare to how he looked now. He looked so smug it almost looked like he discovered the method to make gold.

"I'm the only one who's allowed to get you pregnant…" Souji continued to mumble to himself before he grinned down at me and kissed me when he saw me staring at him. "So, how about another one?"

Wait, what? Another one? Another one of what? Just what was he talking about?

"Another what?" I asked when I couldn't figure out what he was talking about. Was he asking for another kiss? He never asked for kisses. He normally just took them.

However, I quickly figured out what he was asking for the moment he took one of his hands and rested it over my womb. He was asking for another child, but as much as I wanted to say yes to him, it was too soon. Maternal mortality rose based on how many children a woman had and how close together her pregnancies were. It was best to have at least two years as buffer between each pregnancy.

"Please?" Souji asked as he sweetly pecked my cheek. "It would be nice if Ryota had a little sister. Plus, I still want a daughter."

"It would be nice if Ryota had a sibling to play with, but it's too soon to have another child." I answered him with a small apologetic smile. "Ryota isn't even one year old yet. To reduce maternal mortality, it's best to wait two years between each pregnancy."

"So just not yet." Souji replied with a small childish pout. "But that's still a yes, right?"

"Yes, but you need to wait." I told Souji just as Ryota finished nursing. When Souji saw that Ryota was done eating he went ahead and took Ryota from me to burp him, giving me some time to cleanup. I could probably use this time to get dressed for the day too, it was pretty much time for me to get up anyways.

"Bubu ne ya." Ryota instantly struck up a conversation with Souji after he burped. "Pisa vebo."

"So you slept well while you were with Ojii-chan?" Souji asked playfully as he indulged his son before he snuck a peek at me as I was removing my sleeping robe to get dressed.

"Haba haba!" Ryota exclaimed happily before wiggling in Souji's grasp, prompting Souji to place Ryota on the ground. Once Ryota was on the floor, he quickly crawled over to where I was getting dressed so he could tug on the bottom of my koshimaki. "Vesaba?"

"Okaa-san has to get ready for the day because Okaa-san has to go cook breakfast for everyone." I answered Ryota as I bent down to his level to kiss the top of his head. "Stay with Otou-san and be good for him, okay Ryota?

"Ebu." Ryota answered with a cheerful giggle before he made a U-turn and began crawling back towards his father, who was now sitting back on the futon, to allow me to finish dressing.

"Okay, I'm off to the kitchen to cook breakfast now. Anything specific you want to eat for breakfast, Souji?"

"Porridge would be good. I'm going to see if I can get Ryota to eat some later." Souji answered. "We might have better luck getting Ryota to actually eat other things if we start with porridge."

"Alright." I said with a smile before I left the bedroom for the kitchen.

However, I didn't get very far before I was ambushed. Just as I stepped into the courtyard right outside the bedroom, someone jumped me and quickly grabbed onto me. I embarrassingly let out a high pitch shriek of surprise as I was getting dragged off, causing Souji to rush to the door to see what happened. However, once Souji saw the perpetrator, he merely grinned mischievously and wave me goodbye as he stood and watched me get hauled away.

"There you are!" Kyoko-chan chirped cheerfully as she began dragging me off to the kitchen by the back of the scruff of my kimono. "Kenji told me everything yesterday night when he got home. You have to tell me everything! Let's go already! I bet Chizuru-chan is already waiting for you in the kitchen."

"Ah! Kyoko-chan!" I protested as she dragged me off like a poorly skilled kidnapper. "I can walk! I can walk! You can stop dragging me now! Kyoko-chan!"

"Aw, but it's fun." Kyoto-chan merely chirped as she continued pulling me along. "It's always more fun when I can pretend to kidnap people. Besides, if I let you walk by yourself then you'll be too slow."

* * *

"Good morning, Chizuru-chan!" Kyoko-chan sang as she arrived in the kitchen with me in tow. Chizuru-chan seemed a bit surprised to see me being dragged in here by the back of my kimono, but I guess that was to be expected. Kyoko-chan was a bit unorthodox much of the time.

"Eh?! Shizuka-chan?!" she exclaimed in shock as she saw me being dragged in like this.

"Good morning." I greeted Chizuru-chan just like I normally did before I freed myself from Kyoko-chan's grasp. "Did you sleep well despite what happened last night?"

"Oh! I slept well." Chizuru-chan answered despite the dark colored bags under her eyes.

She was lying. Chizuru-chan never liked to worry people, but I do have to say that she was terrible at lying about it. Even if she didn't want to worry people about her condition, we would still all worry anyways since she was so transparent. She never could hide things well.

"Somebody's lying~" Kyoko-chan sang as she instantly popped up in front of Chizuru-chan's face for a closer inspection.

"U-Um… Kyoko-chan?" Chizuru-chan stuttered nervously as she stepped back a little bit.

"Your face is paler than usual and you have bags under your eyes. It's obvious that you didn't sleep well at all." Kyoko-chan said bluntly before she pulled her face back and crossed her arms. "The events of last night are still bothering you."

At being caught, Chizuru-chan's posture sagged as she let her painted on bubbliness wash off. "It's just last night… I was told that I was an oni and I always thought that oni were just things of legends. My chichi must have known, but…but why didn't he tell me anything? And…and…I also found out that some other oni are after me and while they were there to take me, they discovered Shizuka-chan…and…and…"

So not only was she confused and hurt by her situation, she also thought it was her fault that the oni discovered me. Unlike in her situation, where it was obvious that Kazama and his buddies wanted to take Chizuru-chan alive, in my situation, it worked for Kazama if I was dead. Chizuru-chan was afraid for herself, but she was also afraid that it was her fault that Kazama might kill me.

"Okay Chizuru-chan, look at me and listen to me very carefully." I said gently as I grabbed her by the shoulders to force her to look me in the eyes. "None of this is your fault. It's true that Kazama will aim to kill me if I should not go along willingly with his plans, but the reason he might kill me is NOT because of you. You heard what Kenji-san said last night. All oni have the ability to sense the Higanbana. I'm sure even if he did not meet me yesterday night that he would have eventually found me."

"B-But…" Chizuru-chan said while looking like she was about to break into tears. "Ever since I got here I've been nothing but trouble for the Shinsengumi. I get free room and board while the Shinsengumi search for my chichi and I've done nothing. I haven't even managed to find any information on my chichi and, while staying here, I now forced everyone to protect me from Kazama."

"Chizuru-chan, you aren't forcing anyone to do anything. Everyone chooses to protect you because they care for you. While you haven't had much luck finding your chichi, you have been a big help. You helped care for the injured, you helped on the night of Ikedaya, you stopped Sannan-san from drinking the Water of Life, and you help raise everyone's spirits when they are down or discouraged. You've done plenty. Don't write yourself off so quickly as a waste of space. I guarantee you that everyone loves having you around."

"Y-You t-think so?" Chizuru-chan said as she rubbed her eyes and gave a great big sniff.

"Yes." another person answered with plain sincerity before I could reply to Chizuru-chan, causing everyone to turn around to the source of the answer only to find Hijikata-san leaning against the wall of the kitchen by the door with his arms crossed.

So the Oni Vice Commander was eavesdropping on our conversation, although I wonder for how long. Despite what many people believed, I thought Hijikata-san at times could act similar to Souji. Both men always appeared colder to other people than they truly were. Souji could appear cruel and sarcastic when he was warm and soft on the inside. Hijikata-san appeared cold and strict, but was a gooey ball of warmth under that façade. Hijikata-san shot a glance at me before he nodded and turned back to address Chizuru-chan. He had been worried about Chizuru-chan all this time too.

"Chizuru, come with me. I have some things I need you to complete for me." Hijikata-san said as he turned around to leave the kitchen, but not before stopping to wait for Chizuru-chan to catch up to him.

"O-Okay." Chizuru-chan chirped happily as she ran over to Hijikata-san so they could walk with each other, side-by-side. Chizuru-chan smiled brightly at Hijikata-san before she struck up a conversation with him as they were both leaving for Hijikata-san's office.

"You know," Kyoko-chan said as we both watched their backs as they left the kitchen. "They look like two ducks sitting side-by-side. Ah, see right there? Hijikata just smiled at her. He's clearly fond of her and enjoys her attention. Oh! Chizuru-chan just blushed!"

"Isn't that a phrase to describe married people?" I asked. Was she seeing something that I was missing? Oh darn. Souji may have appreciated my obviousness to romance more now, but I on the other hand was becoming more annoyed by it.

"Yeah, but I'm still not going to change my description of them." Kyoko-chan said with a laidback shrug before asking me, "So, what's for breakfast?" She then froze before grabbing me by my shoulders and began shaking me back and forth while exclaiming, "Ah! Wait! You need to tell me everything that happened last night! Spill!"

"I wonder how my presence feels to Chizuru-chan if all oni can sense the Higanbana…"

"Shizuka-chan, that's not an answer! Although…that's a good question… Ah! I'm getting off topic! Shizuka-chan, spill everything that happened last night!"

* * *

[1] A temporary agricultural worker visa or an H-2A visa allows a foreign national entry into the U.S. for temporary or seasonal agricultural work. There are several requirements of the employer in regard to this visa. The H-2A temporary agricultural program establishes a means for agricultural employers who anticipate a shortage of domestic workers to bring nonimmigrant foreign workers to the U.S. to perform agricultural labor or services of a temporary or seasonal nature.

[2] Tsukimi (月見) or Otsukimi (お月見), literally moon-viewing, also known as Jugoya (十五夜), refers to Japanese festivals honoring the autumn moon, a version of the Mid-Autumn Festival. The celebration of the full moon typically takes place on the 15th day of the eighth month of the traditional Japanese solar calendar; the waxing moon is celebrated on the 13th day of the ninth month. These days normally fall in September and October of the modern solar calendar.

[3] Tsukimi Dango – lit. moon-viewing dumplings – are non-skewered filled or plain dumplings that are traditionally eaten during the moon viewing festival.

[4] The public health way of saying injury caused by accidents.

* * *

So I'm thinking about writing another mini arc, just like the one with Isao. However, this time I'm thinking of involving Okita and his extended family, and Itou. If I do write this arc then it will take place in Edo. So give me your opinions on what you would like to see.


	77. Chapter 74

**Chapter 74**

"Well-behaved women seldom make history." ― Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, _Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History_

I stood firmly with my hands on my hips as I scowled down at Ryota in irritation, but Ryota on the other hand didn't seem to care too much that I was angry with him. He just seemed content to sit on top of the mess he created as he happily smiled back up at me. All of my and Chizuru-chan's hard work wasted in a few seconds.

"Haba haba." Ryota spoke to me with his normal enthusiasm while pulling on the once clean scarf on the floor as he ignored the angry slant of my eyebrows.

"Ryota," I said to him unhappily, "what did Okaa-san say before Okaa-san turned around to pick up more laundry to fold? Don't touch the folded clothes."

"Kaa nebu." Ryota merely continued to babble as he stared up at me innocently.

"Um… Shizuka-chan?" Chizuru-chan almost seemed to say hesitantly, as if she were afraid of my anger. "We did turn around for a short while. If we had been watching him then maybe this wouldn't have happened…maybe… But it's still amazing how big of a mess he managed to make without us noticing… We didn't even leave the room…"

"No." I answered Chizuru-chan without taking my eyes off of Ryota. "He may not quite understand words yet, but he still knows not to touch the clean laundry when we're folding it. However, despite what he knew, he went ahead and messed up all the folded laundry when our backs were turned. Bad Ryota."

"Kaa…" Ryota said as seemed to deflate this time when he heard my stern tone. He averted his gaze to avoid looking me in the eyes as he displayed his classic show of guiltiness before he began to mope around, making my heart twinge a bit. He was just like his father when he did this.

I sighed tiredly as I let my anger slip away before I knelt down to Ryota. "Ryota. You do understand what you did was wrong, right?" I asked him softly.

Ryota didn't answer me verbally as he looked up to meet my eyes with his sorrowful eyes. His watery eyes was enough to almost make me feel bad for scolding him in the first place, even if I did have every right to do so. He really did look too much like his father for his own good. It was going to be so hard to discipline him whenever he did something bad.

Seeing his guilt was enough of an answer for me. This signaled to me that he knew what he did was bad and most likely wouldn't do it again in the near future...probably… To let him know that I forgave him, I went ahead and picked Ryota up gently. He instantly shoved his face into the nape of my neck for comfort, and to dry his tears. He really was like his father.

"There, there Ryota. Okaa-san's not mad anymore, okay?" I said gently as I stood back up with him in my arms as I patted his back soothingly before I turned back to Chizuru-chan. "Sorry about this but can you gather up all the clothing again? That half needs to be set aside to be rewashed, but the other half should still be fine."

"Okay." Chizuru-chan answered as she began gathering all the dirty clothing into a pile. "It might be easier to split up the job for this. I'll go rewashed the dirty laundry now and you can fold the remaining clean laundry inside after Ryota calms down."

"That's a good idea." I agreed with Chizuru-chan's suggestion, but since this was my son's fault that some of the laundry had to be redone, I thought it was best that I fix everything myself. "But, Chizuru-chan, you don't have to do that. Another division is going on patrol soon and you should go with them so you can go search for your otou-san."

"Oh, but are you sure?"

"Yes. You should go get ready." I said and as I finished speaking, Saito-san appeared, clad in his haori, to take Chizuru-chan on patrol with him.

"Yukimura, it's time to prepare." Saito-san said before he eyed the mess in the room, particularly one of his scarfs that was left lying on the floor. "We are going on patrol in a few minutes."

"Oh, okay." Chizuru-chan chirped as she scrambled to her feet and ran out the room to prepare for patrol, leaving me with Ryota and Saito-san together in the room.

"Shizuka." Saito-san said to me with a sigh as his eyes scanned the now messy room littered with laundry all over the floor. Saito-san was a meticulous person who disliked disorderly messes greatly.

"I know, I know." I responded. "I'll get it cleaned up, but can you go get Souji for me before you leave for patrol? I could use an extra hand. Souji should be done instructing his training lesson right about now."

"Very well." Saito-san said before he retreated from the room and went to find Souji, leaving me alone with Ryota and the large mess.

"Now what should we do with this mess, huh?" I asked Ryota just as he removed his face from the nape of my neck so he could stare up at me with his emerald green eyes. "Any ideas, Ryota? It IS your mess."

"Buuu…" he mumbled with less enthusiasm before he shoved his face back against my neck.

"Aww, so you don't want to deal with the mess you made or are you still upset at me for scolding you?"

"Buuu…" Ryota responded again without removing his face.

"Hey, Shizu…ka…" Souji announced himself as he arrived, still covered in sweat from his training session with the men, pausing as he scanned the room with something akin to awe as the massive mess caught his eye. "Ryota?"

"Ryota." I confirmed Souji's suspicions before I bent down slightly to pick up a clean towel off the floor.

With the towel in hand, I approached Souji and gently wiped the sweat off his face with one hand while balancing Ryota on my hip with my other arm. "Souji, you should wipe the sweat away after your done training the men. It's still possible for you to get sick, even in the summer."

"I was going to, but Hajime-kun grabbed me before I could head to the well after the training session." Souji said as he took the towel from my hand as he continued to wipe the sweat away. "So, you need help?"

"Some help would be nice." I commented wryly with a small smile. "Can you take Ryota so I can finish the laundry? One half needs to be folded and the other half needs to be rewashed."

"Sure." Souji said without a complaint as he dropped the sweaty towel in the dirty pile before he reached over to take Ryota from me.

However, when Souji attempted to take Ryota from me, Ryota refused to let go and clung on to me while whining. Souji blinked in confusion before he attempted to remove Ryota from me again, but the result was the same. Ryota just held on to me tighter as he raised his face again to stare at me with watery eyes.

"Um… Shizuka? He doesn't look like he wants to let go of you. Did something else happen earlier?" Souji asked in concern as he quickly scanned Ryota over for any possible answers.

"I scolded him a bit earlier for the mess he made." I answered as I rubbed Ryota's back comfortingly. "He's probably afraid that I'll send him away, but he probably doesn't even realize that it's his own otou-san trying to take him. He hasn't seen your face yet. I bet once he realizes it's you, he'll let go."

"Hmm…" Souji hummed as he digested the information before he gently poked Ryota's cheek to coax our son to look at him. "Ryota, over here. Look at Tou-san."

With the gentle poke, Ryota turned his head instinctively towards Souji. Once Ryota caught a glimpse of Souji, Ryota's eyes grew more watery, but he let go of me and didn't complain anymore as I passed him over to Souji. When Ryota was snuggly in Souji's arms, Ryota went ahead and buried his face into the side of Souji's neck for comfort.

"Now, now Ryota, don't be sad anymore. I bet Okaa-san isn't even mad at you anymore." Souji said to Ryota as he went to go sit down on the floor with Ryota holding on to him tightly.

With Ryota so upset, I was now regretful that I scolded him. It was my job as his mother to make sure he was raised well, so that included discipline when needed. But just seeing Ryota so upset now was almost heartbreaking. Why was being a parent so hard? Only if Ryota didn't make that face when I scolded him, but if he didn't make that face when he was scolded then that would have meant that my scolding had no effect and the point was to make sure he understood. I sighed frustratingly before I began fluttering around the room to pick up the rest of the clean clothing to drop in the clean pile I was to fold.

"Oh, Shizuka." Souji suddenly said to me while I was picking up the clean articles of clothing, as if he remembered something. "I received a letter shortly after breakfast today right before I went on patrol. It was from Ane-ue."

A letter from Mitsu? Ever since Souji made up with his older sister, there have been a constant supply of letters flowing back and forth between all of us. However, since Souji mentioned this letter specifically, there must have been something different about this letter.

"Ane-ue? Did something happen?" I asked as I paused my work to look at Souji. He didn't appear somber, so it must have not been something bad.

"She wants us to go visit her and the family back in Edo for some time." Souji answered as he let Ryota bounce around in his lap once Ryota calmed down enough to let go of him. "She complained to me that she still hasn't met you in person and how that needed to change."

"Is that so?" I said as I resumed picking up the fallen clothing. Once all the clean clothing was picked up and put in a pile near Souji, I took a seat next to him and started refolding the clothes. "We should arrange a visit, but it's probably better if we arrange it next month. It's almost time for the annual medical exam. Plus, we should run this by Otou-san and Hijikata-san first so that when we do go to Edo for a visit, you won't be leaving any duties unattended."

It was now already June, meaning it was time for the annual medical exams again. However, the exams would go a bit differently this time. This year, because of all the accomplishments that the Shinsengumi had managed to accomplish, the Bakufu was sending a doctor to assess the Shinsengumi. Otou-san told me the other day that the doctor's name was Matsumoto-sensei, who also happened to be the doctor Chizuru-chan was hoping to find when she arrived in Kyoto. Next week, Matsumoto-sensei was to arrive to assist me in the medical exam. Also, this year, for the men who received a prostate exam in the previous year, they would get to skip it. Only the penis, hernia, testicular, and TB skin test needed to be completed annually. The prostate exam only needed to be conducted once every four years. I bet the men would be happy to hear that.

"True." Souji said as Ryota now bounced around happily on Souji's lap. "But I probably won't have any trouble getting any time off. It won't matter how busy the Shinsengumi is, I bet if I tell Kondou-san and Hijikata-san I want time off to visit family, then they'll let me without a complaint. Besides, Sannan-san can help fill in for me while I'm gone. His arm is healing well and he's dying to get back out in the field."

"Enya!" Ryota suddenly exclaimed happily to get our attention. He immediately smiled brighter once both his parents' eyes were on him, causing both Souji and I to chuckle at his happiness.

"Looks like that sadness didn't last too long." I teased Ryota as I put down the hakama I was folding to playfully tickle the bottom of Ryota's foot. "You want to meet your cousins, right?"

However, Ryota didn't seem interested in answering. He was too busy laughing and wiggling his feet to get away from my tickling fingers.

"Oh yeah." Souji said just as I stopped tickling Ryota to I resumed folding the clothes. Did something else happen besides receiving the letter from Mitsu? "Remember that woman that looked like Chizuru-chan that we met recently?"

Ah yes, Nagumo Kaoru. I remember her. She was that no-good woman that we met last time. I distinctly remember Heisuke say that she liked Souji. Why was Souji talking about her? Did he run into her again? If he did then she better have kept her distance. Nothing good could come from her coming too close to MY HUSBAND. I'll admit that she was pretty, but I bet she's—

"Shizuka…Shizuka, can you hear me?" Souji called to me in amusement, snapping me out of my thoughts. "You might want to put down Hajime-kun's scarf before you rip it in half."

Huh? What?

"Look down at your hands." Souji said with a smug grin on his face as he pointed to my hands when he saw the look of confusion on my face.

Going along with Souji's suggestion, I looked down at where my hands were and saw one of Saito-san's scarfs clenched in my hands. It appeared that when I was brooding over my thoughts of Nagumo that I forgot I was in the middle of folding clothes. Saito-san's scarf, which I was folding at the time when Souji mentioned Nagumo, had been pulled on so acutely during my thoughts of her that it had lost its original shape and was now warped beyond all belief. Whereas it was once it scarf, it was now only good as a cleaning rag.

"Oops…" I said in slight surprise as I slowly loosened my fingers around the scarf. I didn't really expected that I would do that.

"Man..." Souji said with a smug grin when I put the cloth, which was once a scarf, back down on the floor. Despite what he was saying, his tone seemed to say something else completely. "Now I owe Hajime-kun a new scarf."

"You don't really seem that upset…" I muttered with a childish pout, causing Souji to laugh and Ryota to blink in confusion.

"Is that so?" Souji said with a massive grin just as his laughter died down. "Well, since you didn't like her when we first met her, I thought I should let you know that I ran into her during my patrol earlier this morning, before the training session with the men."

Oh, so Souji did run into that little vixen. What did she do? She better have not done anything inappropriate with Souji, that little—

"Shizuka~" Souji called me again, interrupting my dark thoughts. "Your attention please?"

"Sorry." I quickly said as I straightened up again to listen to what Souji had to say. "So what happened?"

"Well…" Souji said as he began to explain the encounter.

_"__Oh, Okita-san…" the woman named Nagumo Kaoru said to me with a smile as she approached me and my squad._

_Interesting, many people, especially women, seemed to make it their life goal to avoid the Shinsengumi squads out on the streets when we were patrolling. However, this woman approached me without hesitation or fear. I may have saved her once, but that didn't mean that she should be completely fearless of me. Plus, her smile earlier…it was fake. I'll admit she was good at faking emotions, but since I also use to fake emotions quite often when I was a kid, the action was easy to spot._

_"__I wanted to say thank you." the woman said gracefully, but also with a hint of extreme confidence._

_That was interesting… She obviously had great pride in something, but it was definitely not because she was saying "thank you" to me. It would probably be a good idea to probe the situation a bit to see what I could gather about her, and what better way of doing that than playing aloof?_

_"__Huh? Yeah, okay, sure." I pretended to brush her off as she bat her eyelashes at me. "Who are you again?"_

_She was quite a suspicious stranger. I could tell she was attempting to flirt with me, but why? I had a reputation as the bloodthirsty sword of the Shinsengumi and that was more than enough to scare away all women, except for my wife and Chizuru-chan. So with my reputation so well-known, all sensible women that did not know me well at all would keep their distance. Nagumo Kaoru seemed like a sensible woman, but here she was trying to flirt with me. What did she want?_

_"__You don't remember me?" she asked as she inclined her head slightly in a sad manner as she ceased her flirting. "It's Kaoru. You saved me when I was attack by a ronin."_

_"__Oh. I did?" I said as I continued playing dumb and oblivious as I smiled back at her._

_From what I could tell, she was struggling to remain composed, which she was doing quite well. Other than the quick and nearly invisible flash of anger on her features I almost missed, there seemed nothing out of place. My, my, isn't she a talented one. Normally by now, my actions would have gotten a rise out of other people, especially Hijikata-san. Hmm… It HAS been a while since I messed with Hijikata-san. I should go annoy him when I get back to headquarters…_

_"__Oh, I wanted to ask you…" the woman continued to speak as she rested her fingertips lightly on her chest, and put her other hand on her hair to create the picture of demure feminine concern before she looked up at me slowly through her long lashes. "Who was that boy with you the other day?"_

_Who was with me the other day? It was Chizuru-chan in her disguise… I instantly became on guard and even more weary of her. Both Chizuru-chan and Shizuka were being targeted by that blonde bastard and now there was someone else asking about Chizuru-chan too? This couldn't be a coincidence._

_"__Curious?" I asked to probe a little more._

_"__Well… yes, a little…" she said timidly._

_I turned away and let out a cold, dry laugh before I sighed. Of course she was interested in Chizuru-chan. Just being targeted by that bastard wasn't enough, huh? What did Nagumo Kaoru want to know?_

_Knowing that it wouldn't be a good idea to reveal too much information, seeing that she could be a spy for our enemies, I decided it would be best to lie about Chizuru-chan's position. _

_"__Right now, your little look alike is probably being yelled at by the commander or doing chores and crying." I said._

_"__C-Crying…?" she parroted me, sounding troubled and shocked._

_"__Or maybe the commander's really turned up the hate this time." I said with a gleeful smile as I badmouthed Hijikata-san. Well, Hijikata-san WAS known as the Oni Vice Commander, so I wasn't REALLY hurting Hijikata-san's reputation as much as I wanted to. "When he's like that, you can't do anything, not even cry. There's a bunch of crazy freaks after that poor kid, but does the commander care? No way. Pretty bad luck if you ask me."_

_"__Goodness…" she said as she furrowed her brow in faux concern while looking upset. "The Shinsengumi sure sounds scary. Then what about your wife? Surely her life is better than that young boy's."_

_Oh, now she's asking about Shizuka too? The last person to ask about both girls at the same time was that blonde bastard. Don't tell me she's one of them too?_

_"__She knew what she was getting into when she married me." I answered vaguely as I grinned wildly to frighten her._

_"__Oh my, the Shinsengumi truly is terrifying beyond all belief." she said as she frowned once more._

_"__Yep. We're dangerous, violent animals. Even just talking to me could get you in reeeeeal trouble." I said as I made myself seem a bit more imposing by narrowing my eyes and allowing my mouth to curl up in an almost predatory grin. "Understand… Kaoru-san?"_

_There would be no way she would miss my warning. Unlike most men, I didn't care what gender my enemy was. If my enemy was a threat then I would eliminate them without a question. I didn't exactly know what she wanted, but I did feel that she was an enemy of the Shinsengumi and my instincts were hardly ever wrong._

_"__You saved my life. I just wanted to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart." she said politely and sincerely despite my threat._

_"__Really…" I just said bluntly as I coldly looked into her eyes to attempt to find what she was hiding._

_She responded the best she could with a troubled smile, but that wasn't going to fool me. I already knew her smiles were fake. However, I couldn't find any more information as I searched her eyes._

_"__Don't worry about it." I said as I shifted my eyes off of hers and looked away as I prepared to leave. "It's our job to deal with those guys."_

_Once I said my piece and turned, she bowed deeply and stayed bowed until me and my men walked away. I don't know why, but I knew she was a threat._

_"__So, what happened Captain?" one of my men, the one who never knew when to shut up, asked me eagerly when we were a comfortable distance away from Nagumo Kaoru._

_That man was an idiot. There was no shred of romance in the whole conversation and if there was, I wouldn't be interested. As long as Shizuka was waiting for me to return back home each day with Ryota, then they would be all I needed._

_"__Hmm…" I said nonchalantly with a cheery smile as I laid my hand on my sword without a care in the world. "Do you want to die?"_

_Of course, said man turned pale and shut up immediately. Now all I needed to do was finish patrol._

So that Nagumo was flirting with MY HUSBAND? The nerve of that cow. I'd like how she would respond to my foot in her face. I bet she wouldn't look so pretty then. That little, no-good, dung-eating—

"Shizuka, if you don't put down the remainder of that scarf then there won't even be enough of it left to use as a rag." Souji said pointedly, causing me to look back down at my hands.

Huh, interesting. When did the scarf end up back in my hands? I could have sworn that I put it down earlier before Souji began to tell me about his patrol.

Souji sighed exasperatedly as he watched me put down the now shredded scarf. "Did you even catch anything other than, 'she flirted with me' in my little explanation?"

"Um… She's good at acting?" I said. Truthfully, Souji pretty much lost me in his explanation. The moment I heard that Nagumo flirted with Souji, I stopped paying attention because I got so hung up on that.

"Shizuka…" Souji said with another sigh. "Nagumo Kaoru was interested in both Chizuru-chan and you. The last person to be interested in both you and Chizuru-chan at the same time was that blonde bastard. I think she might be an oni too."

"But she flirted with you." I said with a scowl, going completely off topic from what Souji was trying to get at, causing him to smack his own forehead with the palm of his hand.

"Okay, enough." Souji said exasperatedly as he stood up with Ryota in his arms. "Come on, Shizuka. You can finish with the laundry later. We're going to the market now to buy Hajime-kun a replacement scarf for the one you ruined."

* * *

"Thank you. Please enjoy the rest of your day." the shop keeper said as we exited the clothing shop with a new white scarf on hand.

"I wonder, why does Hajime-kun only wears scarfs that this store sells?" Souji said as he held the scarf out in the sunlight to inspect it."

"It's because you'll find no other scarf this soft out on the market." I answered as I stepped back with Ryota in my arms to ensure the scarf stayed out of Ryota's grasp when I saw him reaching for it.

"Habo!" Ryota instantly protested when the scarf was suddenly out of his reach.

"No, Ryota. That scarf is not for you." I reminded Ryota, making him very moody.

"Huh… Interesting. So this is what Hajime-kun must spend most of his money on." Souji said as he folded the new scarf up again. "I didn't take him for someone who cared so much about what type of clothing he wore."

"Ah, Okita-san. I didn't expect to see you again so soon." A new voice then suddenly intruded on the nice family atmosphere. It was HER. "And I see you're with your family too."

As if I had not seen or heard about her enough, Nagumo Kaoru stood nearby as she greeted us daintily. Seriously! Just what was wrong with this world? If I didn't want to see that woman or even hear her then was it so hard for the world to comply for a day?

"Oh, it's you again." Souji said with a wry smile as he turned to face Nagumo. "What was your name again?"

"Surely you did not forget me so soon, Okita-san." Nagumo said with a small lady-like frown before she turned to me with a friendly smile. "It is a pleasure to meet you again. I am afraid I never got your name last time. Oh, your son is so cute. What's his name?"

However, I didn't really respond to her like a logical human would. That logic that I was so proud of vanished in an instant the moment I saw her. Instead of greeting her politely like I normally would with other people, I hissed at her like an illiterate idiot.

"I-I'm sorry?" she asked in surprise at my response as she looked at me with confusion, causing Souji to raise his brow wordlessly when he witnessed the whole event. "Did I do something to offend you?" Nagumo then asked timidly as she tried to salvage the whole situation.

"It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a knife." I instantly spat out without much thought.

Oh. My. God. Did I actually just say that? I would like to say that I normally wasn't that petty and this was in no way my normal behavior, but how the hell did that slip out? I had never treated anyone with this much hostility, not even Serizawa, and I hated him. I—what? This was just so confusing. Sure, I never intended to say what I said out loud to Nagumo, but once I said it, I couldn't find it in my will to apologize to her or take back my words. Despite being horrified at my own words, half of my mind was still trying to convince me that she deserved every last word I said to her.

"Erm… Yeah… This isn't a good time." Souji said as he quickly stepped in and began ushering me off before he apologized to Nagumo. "Sorry about that. You know how moody women can get when they're on their flow."

"I'm…What?" Nagumo said, seeming to be in complete shock at my behavior. "I don't understand…?"

"Sorry! Bye!" Souji called back to her as he quickly ushered me away onto a completely different street.

Once Nagumo was out of sight. Souji stopped pushing me and let out a large, tired sigh as he sagged a bit and looked at me with a peeved expression.

"I swear, if I didn't separate you from her fast enough then a fight would have broken out on that street." Souji commented. "I like it when you're jealous and all, but not so much when it stresses me like this. Are you okay? You're really out of character right now."

"I…um…sorry…" I mumbled contritely when I couldn't find the right words.

It would have been bad if a fight did break out earlier. Ryota was in my arms and if I decided to punch out that Nagumo right there, then what would I have done with Ryota? It would be stupid beyond all belief if I started a fight with a helpless baby in my arms.

"It's fine... Just try to think more in situations like this?" Souji pleaded with me. "You can be incredibly smart at most times, but so dense at other times that it hurts."

I nodded obediently without another word, causing Souji to let out a relieved breath.

"Huh? Shizuka-chan? Okita-san? What are you doing here?" another new voice asked. "Shizuka-chan, I thought you were doing the laundry back at headquarters."

Both Souji and I turned around to see Chizuru-chan with Saito-san and his division. There were so many familiar faces in the city today.

"Ah, well, we went out to buy a replacement scarf for the one that Shizuka ruined." Souji answered nonchalantly, ignoring the subtle twitch of Saito-san's eyebrow.

"Ruined?" Saito-san questioned Souji. "What do you mean by ruined?"

Souji deflated rather quickly under Saito-san's steady stare and quickly explained vaguely. "You know how moody women can get sometimes. What about you? Anything eventful happen to you on patrol?"

"Oh! I met someone who was bravely defending a young boy from some ronin despite being vulnerable herself." Chizuru-chan instantly chirped cheerfully, answering for Saito-san.

Oh? My curiosity was tickled. There weren't many women in Kyoto that would do that.

"Oh! What's her name?" I asked amicably.

"Her name is Osen-chan!" Chizuru-chan said back excitedly before whispering in my ear, "Did you know she guessed my real gender in an instant. She has an amazing woman's intuition."

Souji just sighed once more as he and Saito-san watched me and Chizuru-chan chat happily before saying to Saito-san, "Women."

Saito-san nodded silently in agreement and as if Ryota agreed with his father too, he chirped, "Um!" while wiggling in my arms.


	78. Chapter 75

**Chapter 75**

"Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have." ― Winston S. Churchill

Hmm…let's see… Adachi Ringoro… Ah, from his last medical checkup, he complained about an itchy rash that developed from sleeping on his futon. The physical exams were scheduled for tomorrow and that would be a good time to follow-up on him and see if he actually followed my direction and washed his futon. Bed bugs were nasty little blighters and the rashes from their bites were vexatious problem with an unbearable itch.

Since the medical exam for the Shinsengumi would take place tomorrow, I now sat at my desk in my bedroom pouring over the medical files in order to prep everything so that everything would be seamless during the exams. Unlike the year before, Matsumoto-sensei, a doctor that worked for the Bakufu, would be here to assist me. This year's medical exam would also be completed far more quickly than the previous year's exam despite having more members than before. I had the medical files of all the members this time around so there was no need to create new medical files, and because I had all the men's medical files, I would actually know what to expect this time around.

To prepare for the medical exams, I was looking through all the medical files and dividing them up based on what was written in the files. The men that seemed relatively healthy and only needed to complete the annual medical exam would go to Matsumoto-sensei for their exam and the men who had some medical need of some sort would go to me so I could more easily follow-up on them later. Then, after receiving the primary part of the medical exam, the men would go to Yamazaki-san for their annual hernia, testicular, penis, and TB skin test. As for Chizuru-chan, she wasn't going to be aiding in the exams this year. Since she hadn't been able to contact Matsumoto-sensei since her arrival in Kyoto, she would surely become too distracted to conduct the medical exam when she sees him tomorrow for the first time. She was bound to have millions of questions floating around in her head, most regarding her father and the Water of Life. She wouldn't be able to focus well on the task on hand.

"Ah… It's too hot. I'm melting." Souji complained with his mouth hanging open as he laid on his back right outside our room, sprawled lethargically against the roka with Ryota sprawled on top of him in the same, almost pathetic, manner.

Oh, my poor boys. The heat always reduced Souji to a watery puddle on the floor. In an attempt to cool down, he had stripped off his brown outer layer of his clothing and sloppily tossed it on the floor next to him while he loosened the collar of his patterned hakamashita so his chest could feel the occasional wind that would blow by. Although, I doubted the wind actually helped since all that blew by was hot air, but I wasn't going to complain. Not when the loosened hakamashita offered me a delicious view of Souji's well-sculpted chest that almost seemed to glitter in the sunlight when the light reflected off the drops of sweat.

Ryota, on the other hand, wasn't doing much better than his father. He wasn't enjoying his first summer now that the heat had set in. Just like his father, Ryota seemed to enjoy the cold air of winter and detest the heat of summer. When the heat finally rolled in at the beginning of the week, Ryota became pretty lethargic and preferred to lay about on the floor with his father. It was like the heat was making him melt and run through the cracks in the ground. It was just too hot for him.

"Eeee…" Ryota grumbled without lifting his face up from Souji's stomach.

"Hot…" Souji complained again before lifting his head slightly off the roka to peer back at me through the open door while I continued working away. "How is it that you actually enjoy this heat?" After he said his piece, Souji let his head drop back onto the roka from lack of energy without waiting for my answer.

"How is it that you enjoy the freezing winters?" I merely shot back calmly at him without pausing my work.

Hmm… Furukawa Kojiro… I believe he goes to Matsumoto-sensei tomorrow… Oh look! Itou-san's medical file… Let's see, let's see…

"Nevabu ema nu…" Ryota retorted with his face pressed against Souji's stomach, probably trying to sound scandalized by my retort, but his voice just fell flat as he refused to put more energy into speaking.

"Ah… It's so hot." Souji moaned again with Ryota quickly agreeing with a pitiful sounding whine. Because those two were suffering so much in the heat, they didn't notice footsteps approaching them, heralding the arrival of their favorite person to annoy. The purple-wearing Oni, whom I had taken to calling "Barney" in my mind as a small inside joke due to his amazing ability to amuse Ryota for hours on end, paused next to Souji and Ryota with a furrowed brow as he stared down at the two perplexedly.

"Eh? Souji? Why do you look so unraveled?" Hijikata-san asked as he put a single hand on his hip while looking over my two boys for the cause of such lackluster behavior. "Ah, Ryota too?"

Unlike my two boys, Hijikata-san seemed totally unruffled by the summer heat. Hijikata-san's appearance was just immaculate. He wore his normal amount of clothing without sweating, heck, not even a single strand of hair was out of place. Hijikata-san was just plain normal Hijikata-san and was looking as cool as one could be.

"Oh, it's Hijikata-san." Souji said lackadaisically as he sluggishly opened one eye to see Hijikata-san peer curiously back down at him and Ryota. "It sure is hot."

"I don't need you to tell me to know that." Hijikata-san replied with an exasperated huff as he crossed his arms.

"The summer here is really different from Edo's. Ahhhh… Hot!" Souji complained once more with Ryota whining along with him, as if Ryota was agreeing with what his father said, even though Ryota had never been to Edo before.

"Oi, can you stop complaining please?! You're not the only one who's hot." Hijikata-san said as he let out a small sigh of annoyance with a hint of defeat while slumping forwards slightly. "Besides, why are you complaining too, Ryota? You've never been to Edo so you can't compare the two places."

"It's hot."

"Nabu."

Both Ryota and Souji complained together petulantly to annoy Hijikata-san some more.

"Hey!" Hijikata-san replied instinctively to both of their complaints.

"Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!"

"Nabu! Nabu! Nabu! Nabu!"

Both father and son complained again in perfect sync to bug Hijikata-san some more.

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" Hijikata-san responded instantly again, falling into step with Souji's and Ryota's childish behavior.

"It's all because you've got such a cold expression." Souji complained again after letting out a loud, pained sigh as he brushed some sweat off his brow with the sleeve of his hakamashita. "It's making people feel heated up."

"I'm feeling hot too." Hijikata-san replied matter-of-factly after hearing Souji's complaint.

Hijikata-san was too? Well what do you know, even the Oni Vice Commander couldn't stand the heat of Kyoto summers. I guess I was the only one who liked the heat. I could go without the humidity, but I liked the sweltering heat of summer. It made me more thankful that I wasn't living somewhere like Russia. If I was, well, then I think I would never leave bed in fear of freezing to death.

Upon hearing Hijikata-san admit the heat was affecting him too, both of Souji's eyes shot open in surprise as he instantly shot up into sitting position, while carefully cradling Ryota to his chest, and stared at Hijikata-san while saying a loud, "EHH?!"

"Huh? What was that? Did I say something strange?" Hijikata-san asked with his eyebrows disappearing above his bangs, stunned by the force of Souji's loud surprise.

"Then you're suffering too, aren't you?" Souji asked with his mouth hanging slightly open. The invincible Oni feeling too hot? That was near impossible in Souji's mind.

"Nemu ba espba vee bow wa! Ba ba vono!" Ryota exclaimed shortly after his father just merely to copy the shock expression on his father's face. In his mind he was probably thinking that if his dad was shocked at something, then it would be best for him to be shocked too, even if he didn't understand, right?

However, upon hearing what Souji said, Hijikata-san did something only he would do. He denied that he was even suffering from the heat. Of course, the Oni couldn't appear weak.

"That's not true, this is a psychological thing." Hijikata-san boasted as he straightened up his posture again. "If you don't think that it's hot, it won't be. Isn't there a saying that goes if your heart is calm, then so will all else?"

Souji instantly deflated once he heard Hijikata-san's whole explanation of, "If you don't think that it's hot, it won't be." What type of crap was that? Hot was hot and cold was cold. It wasn't some mind game. Temperature was something that could scientifically be measured.

"My heart can't be calm," Souji groused as he wiped some sweat off of Ryota's forehead with his other sleeve, "if it's hot, then it's hot."

"Ennya buuu…" Ryota whined once more before he looked up at Souji pleadingly, like he was begging his father to turn the sun off.

"But this heat is hard to bear." Hijikata-san finally admitted as his eyes drifted off to briefly scan the dry and yellowed plants of the courtyard. "If it keeps up, then it really would be bad."

"Exactly, exactly." Souji said in this rare occasion where he agreed wholeheartedly with Hijikata-san. "But I have an activity that could cool you down."

"What is it?" Hijikata-san asked, looking at Souji with eager curiosity. A way to cool down? Great!

At this point, Souji giggled mischievously as a sly grin appeared on his face. "If you want to feel cold, then the solution must be to share ghost stories." Souji explained while looking positively giggly as he nearly bounced out of his seat.

"Eh…but—" Hijikata-san started to say while looking taken back by Souji's suggestion, only to be interrupted as Souji continued speaking.

"The compulsory act in summer is definitely this!" Souji concluded enthusiastically as he wiggled his eyebrows at both Hijikata-san and Ryota.

"Those children's tales will cool people down?" Hijikata-san instantly shot Souji's suggestion down while looking slightly disappointed at the idea Souji came up with after he found his voice. "How senseless."

"Ah, ah… Unless Hijikata-san is…" Souji sang gleefully as he let the end of his sentence drift off impishly.

"What?"

"Are you scared? You don't dare listen, right?"

Hijikata-san instantly acquired a sour look on his face as he tsked at what Souji said. "Do you really think this would be the case?" Hijikata-san snapped while looking less than amused.

"True." Souji said with a carefree shrug. "Hijikata-san being scared of ghosts is way too unrealistic, considering the number of people you've killed."

"You've killed many yourself!" Hijikata-san instantly retorted causing Souji to grin.

"Behind me, and perhaps Hijikata-san, there may be countless number of ghosts." Souji continued without pause.

At this point, Hijikata-san's face grew sourer with a hint of bitter resentment as he scolded Souji. "Don't talk about this tasteless subject. Besides, you shouldn't say things like this around your son."

"It's fine." Souji brushed Hijikata-san's scolding off before he gestured to Ryota, who happened to be staring off into an empty space at the moment. "Look, he's not even paying attention right now, and if he was, then he wouldn't understand anyways. "But I was being serious. I guess no one is afraid of ghost stories. How boring…" he said before he suddenly stood up on the roka with Ryota. "Ah, that's right!"

"Ah!" Hijikata-san exclaimed in surprise while hopping backwards a few feet as Souji instantly shot to his feet. "Why did you suddenly stand up?!"

"I know who would get scared." Souji replied with a grin growing on his face once more.

"Who?"

"Chizuru-chan." Souji answered as he became giddy again. "Let me scare her a bit. It must be so much fun."

"Ah?" Hijikata-san exclaimed while looking like he swallowed something overly sour.

"This is such a good idea!" Souji said gleefully as he took off with Ryota in his arms to go find Chizuru-chan. "Alright, then I'll be going to see Chizuru-chan. See you, Hijikata-san!"

"Ubba na!" Ryota squealed out happily in Souji's arms at the sudden gust of wind from Souji running as they turned the corner.

"Eh? Souji!" Hijikata-san called after the two after they left him behind in a cloud of dust. "Ah, he left. Now I'll be thinking of stupid things all day. Ghost stories…"

Wait a sec… Don't tell me… Was Hijikata-san actually one of those people who were afraid of ghost stories? Nah, it couldn't be. The very thought of Hijikata-san being terrified of ghost stories was enough to make me laugh. Pft! No way was it possible.

It was at this moment the closet door fell out of its groove and hit the floor with a loud thud.

"Ah!" Hijikata-san yelped as he jumped at the sound. "What's going on? It's only the door falling? Ah, that scared me."

Oh darn it! It looked the like door fell again. It didn't use to be that bad, but ever since I removed it for cleaning, it began falling out of its slot more often. Maybe I wasn't slotting it back in properly. I probably should get Souji to look at it to see if he could fix… Wait a moment… Did Hijikata-san just get scared by a falling door? It wasn't even that loud. Don't tell me… Hijikata-san was ACTUALLY afraid of ghosts?! Who knew?

"Phew, ah seriously, it's so hot, so hot!" Hijikata-san yelled loudly to vent his frustration before he tried to cool off by fanning himself with his hand. When that proved useless, he ceased the pointless action before he looked down at the article of clothing Souji had left behind on the floor when Souji ran off before Hijikata-san bent down to pick it up.

"So what was that crap about 'if your heart is calm, then you won't be hot'?" I asked in amusement as I put the calligraphy brush down and paused my work, causing Hijikata-san to jump again.

"Eh?! Oh, it's only you, Shizuka." Hijikata-san said as he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw me. "Wait… Were you there the whole time?"

"Yup! I saw everything." I chirped, causing him to blush slightly as he averted his gaze in favor of staring at the floor. "But don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you're afraid of ghosts."

"I'm not afraid of ghost!"

"You know your loud denial just makes it more difficult to believe you." I commented dryly.

Hijikata-san sighed, giving up on trying to convince me otherwise, before he entered the bedroom and passed me Souji's brown outer layer as he sat down next to me and looked down at my desk to see what I was working on.

"Medical files... Are these for tomorrow?" he asked as his eye quickly caught his own file sitting on the desk.

"Yeah." I said as I quickly shrugged on Souji's extra brown layer of clothing, causing Hijikata-san to stare at me with a weird expression.

Sure, he thought it was unbearably hot, but in my mind, there was no such thing as being too warm. Plus, I liked Souji's scent. I had come to associate his scent with the feeling of warmth and safety since he had always been looking out for me since childhood.

"It's already plenty hot as is, and you're putting on another layer of clothing?" he asked disbelievingly as he shook his head at me. "Ah, forget it. You've always been weird. So, how is the medical status of our men?"

"Well, it IS better than last time, but…"

"But what?"

I exhaled loudly before I reached for another pile of folders on my desk and pulled out a random file from that pile to show Hijikata-san. "A good deal of men have a problem of cleanliness."

"So some of the men don't like to be clean, what's the problem?"

…

…

…

There was just so much wrong with that statement. I slapped the file I was showing Hijikata-san shut and fully turned around to stare at him flatly. Hijikata-san, not realizing what he said wrong, arched a single eyebrow upwards as he examined me with curious eyes, probably thinking that he somehow broke me when I remained silent in the face of his question. With a deep breath, I quickly gathered my thoughts before I began to form my words on my miniature lecture on hygiene importance.

"What's the problem? Plenty." I stated plainly as Hijikata-san continued to look at me questioningly. There were at times I forgot that what I considered basic knowledge was not always necessarily common knowledge for other people. "There are many sicknesses which can be caused by inadequate domestic or personal hygiene. Some signs of poor domestic hygiene include: not cleaning the facilities, not getting rid of rubbish, not washing clothes and bedding frequently, and not storing food properly. Signs of poor personal hygiene include: not washing hands, not showering, and not washing hair. And a good deal of our men show these poor hygiene practices."

Hijikata-san bobbled his head up and down quietly and carefully absorbed the precious information I imparted onto him. Since discovering that I was a surgeon with proper training from the future, Hijikata-san had listened to me much more carefully whenever I spoke. I wasn't just reliable anymore, I was credible and worth listening to when it came to medical matters.

"Here are just a few problems caused by germs and parasites resulting from inadequate domestic and personal hygiene. For some of the conditions caused by bacteria, there is: food poisoning, gastroenteritis[1], diarrhea caused by _Campylobacter_[2], pneumonia[3], trachoma[4], and skin infections. Then there are the viral infections that cause hepatitis A[5], colds, and the flu. As for the many types of parasitic infections the men could get for not having proper hygiene, there's giardiasis[6], scabies infection[7], pediculosis[8], hookworm infection[9], threadworm infection[10], roundworm infection[11]—"

"Oi, Shizuka!" Hijikata-san interrupted me loudly to get me to pause, sighing tiredly and wearily once he got my attention. Oops. It appeared that I had gotten so carried away with my explanation that I didn't even notice that Hijikata-san was trying to get my attention before. "Okay, so I get there are problems with poor hygiene, but you need to explain to me what each of those things are. I have no idea what you're talking about when you just spout the name of some illness I have never heard of before."

"You don't really need to know what each separate illness is." I said as I turned back around to face my desk again. It wasn't really important for Hijikata-san to know what each illness was. It wasn't his job. "All you need to know is that each one is highly uncomfortable to have, damages the ability of each man to do his job, and can cause death in extreme cases."

"Alright." Hijikata-san said quickly while sounding defeated, excepting my explanation without question before he let out a disgruntle sigh. Then, as quickly as an eagle when it snatched up its prey, he swiped an uchiwa fan[12] off my desk and began to fan himself with it. "But it sure is hot." he said as he changed the topic rather suddenly.

"Is it really?" I asked while blinking as the thoughts of work slipped out of my mind as I rolled along with the change of subject laxly. I had been working for a while. Maybe it was time I took a break.

"Of course it is!" Hijikata-san barked at me tiredly before eyeing me with careful consideration, as if he were trying to find all the answers to the mysteries of the universe. "How the hell is the heat not affecting you?"

"Of course it's affecting me." I answered bluntly as I stared back at him in all seriousness. "The heat is what puts me in a good mood. There's no better weather than this."

And that's when Hijikata-san slammed his forehead on my desk as a response. I knew that wasn't what he wanted to hear, but it was the truth. I always did like hot days. Well, I had enough fun making him miserable for now. Maybe I could use this break to make something to help the guys deal with the heat a bit better. Maybe some yōkan[13] would be nice? It wasn't actually a cold snack, but it was something enjoyed by many during the heat of summer because it was so refreshing to eat on hot days. Besides, I'm sure Ryota would like to try some. As he grew older and started consuming more solid foods, it was revealed that he liked the same type of foods Souji liked, except Ryota was a tad bit pickier that Souji was. But, if Souji liked yōkan then there was a good chance that Ryota did too.

"Hmm? What is it, Shizuka?" Hijikata-san asked as he picked his forehead off the desk to watch me stand up.

"Nothing much. I'm just going to the kitchen. It's about time for a break." I said as I stretched my arms. "Since you and the others have been complaining about how hot it is today, I thought some yōkan would be nice."

"Yōkan?" Hijikata-san parroted after me with a hint of excitement as he wagged his imaginary tail like a puppy.

* * *

I quickly rushed into the medical wing in the morning shortly after breakfast to prepare for the medical exams that would take place today. Of course, leave it to me to run late on the day I'd be working with someone from outside the Shinsengumi. That would leave a bad impression of me and the organization as a whole. Ah, Ryota, why did he chose today to be fussy? When I left him with Kyoko-chan and Kenji-san, Ryota attempted to follow me. He managed to escape from Kyoko-chan and Kenji-san six times before I managed to get him to sit still. But I will say what he accomplished was amazing for a baby. Not many people could escape from Kenji-san, even with formal training.

Skidding to a stop as I nearly over-shot the door, I paused briefly to straighten out my appearance and brushed down any frizzled hair before I opened the door and stepped into the large room I had cleared out and set aside for today's exams. Matsumoto-sensei was already within the room and was lively conversing with Hijikata-san, Yamazaki-san and Otou-san. When Hijikata-san saw me quietly step into the room, his eyebrows slanted downwards at me to silently voice his disapproval at my tardiness.

"Ah, there you are, Shizu-chan." Otou-san said cheerfully with a large grin before swiftly waving me over. "Come, come. Let me introduce you to Matsumoto-sensei."

Making my way to where the men were as gracefully as possible, to avoid further possible bad impressions I could make, I bowed deeply at Matsumoto-sensei as I came to stop in front of him.

"I apologize for my late arrival. I'm afraid my son was being a bit fussy, thus making it difficult to leave him with his current caretaker." I said politely.

"Oh, it's fine." Matsumoto-sensei said with a warm leisurely tone and a relaxed smile. Oh, I got the feeling I would like this man!

"Ah, right." Otou-san said before he cleared his throat. "This here is my daughter Shizuka, who also happens to be Souji's wife and the Shinsengumi's head physician." Otou-san introduced me proudly before he gestured to Matsumoto-sensei with his hand. "And Shizu-chan, this is Matsumoto-sensei, a doctor from the Bakufu."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." I greeted Matsumoto-sensei as I bowed once more. "I hope we work together well."

"The pleasure is mine." Matsumoto-sensei greeted me back. And now that the introductions were taken care of, it was time to get down to business. With a quick glance, Matsumoto-sensei observed the room and carefully eyed the stations I had set up the day before and gave a firm nod of approval at the setup. "I take it that everything is already set up?"

"Yes. I went ahead and split the men into two groups so we could speed the medical exams along much more quickly." I explained. "I already told all the men which station that they were assigned to today. Half the men will go to your station and the other half will go to my station for their primary checkup. At each of our stations, I already placed the medical files of each men we will see and the files are organized by division number for easy access. The medical files have each man's medical history and it is also where we will record our findings. When the men are done with their primary medical exam, give them their medical file so they can pass it on to Yamazaki-san at the last station behind the privacy screens. At Yamazaki-san's station, Yamazaki-san will perform the hernia, testicular, penis, and tuberculosis skin test. After Yamazaki-san's station, the men are done with their exam and are free to go. Hopefully we'll be done before lunch. Any questions?"

"None." Matsumoto-sensei said while looking slightly impressed with the amount of work I put into this event.

Yamazaki-san just merely nodded in response while already looking slightly stressed before he headed his station. Poor Yamazaki-san, always stuck with the most difficult job. I personally would do it, but, again, the men would experience higher amounts of discomfort and Souji would probably murder some people.

"So, are we ready to begin the exams?" Sannan-san asked as he suddenly popped his head into the room with a friendly looking smile that was very clearly, at least to me and probably Hijikata-san, sadistic in nature.

"Oh, Sannan-kun!" Otou-san exclaimed cheerfully as he ignored the glint in Sannan-san's eyes. "Yes, we're ready to begin."

"You should go first." Hijikata-san said as he grinned sharply at Sannan-san in his own sadistic way. "Our colonel is required to be in good health. You go ahead and get checked out while I go get the men."

Uh-oh, here we go again.

"You kindness is astounding." Sannan-san commented without losing his razor edge. "But I'm afraid I'll have to pass this time. To avoid being stuck in line today, I opted to receive my medical exam yesterday in full privacy. So why to you go ahead and get checked out while I go get the men."

"Eh?" Hijikata-san said before dread started to fill his face. "Now?"

"Yes." Sannan-san said as he smile came even sharper than before. "I'll go get the men."

Otou-san, who was unaware of the nature of the two men's friendship, grinned brightly before patting Hijikata-san on shoulder exuberantly. "It's good that Sannan-kun is such a good friend to you, Toshi."

"Eh?" Hijikata-san said once more in confusion as Sannan-san disappeared to go get the men and Otou-san, without further a due, shoved Hijikata-san forwards so he could complete his the medical exam.

And just as the first few men started filling into the room for their exams, a loud yelp was heard from behind the privacy screens where Yamazaki-san was to conduct his part of the exam.

"Y-Yamazaki! What are you doing?! Oi!"

"Vice Commander, please stay still! It will make it easier to complete the exams!"

Hearing the terrifying Oni Vice Commander yelp and flail about like that instantly put the expression of unease onto the men's faces. Well, most of the men's faces. All around me there where comments like: "The exams must be truly terrible this time around if it could cause the Vice Commander to yelp like this." But there were also the occasional shit-eating grins, like on Souji's and Sannan-san's faces.

"Having a blast?" Souji called out devilishly to Hijikata-san and Yamazaki-san behind the privacy screen, taking special care that all the men heard him. "It sounds like things are getting kinky back there. Man, I knew you admired Hijikata-san, but I didn't think you would go that far with him, Yamazaki-kun."

"SOUJI!" Hijikata-san yelled out furiously as he poked his head out from behind the screens. "IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP THEN I'LL CUT YOUR FUCKING TONGUE OFF!"

"Ma, ma." Sannan-san said as he pushed his glasses up his nose, causing the lenses to glint dangerously in the light. "No need to be so harsh with Okita-kun. He's merely telling the truth."

"Oh dear me." Itou-san, who entered the room with all the other men, said with his hand placed daintily over his mouth in an effeminate fashion to show his distaste. "This is truly an unsightly scene. I shall now be taking my leave."

"Oh?" Sannan-san said darkly as he suddenly and slowly appeared behind Itou-san like a ghost and firmly dropped a hand on Itou-san's shoulder. "And where do you think you're going, Itou-san?"

"S-Sannan-san?!" Itou-san shuttered in horror as he stiffly turned his head to see the dark, borderline evil grin on Sannan-san's face. "W-What are you doing? Unhand me this instant!"

"I'm afraid I cannot." Sannan-san said calmly with the smile on his face growing even darker. "Everyone must get a physical exam, including the officers. Besides you're already in line, the first person in fact."

"WHAT?!" Itou-san exclaimed in absolute horror as he quickly turned around to look behind him only to see a line of half-naked men. As Itou-san paled even more and slowly turn back to the front to face Sannan-san, he was greeted by Matsumoto-sensei instead. Sannan-san had mysteriously disappeared from Itou-san's line of sight.

"Now enjoy your physical." Sannan-san said to Itou-san gleefully from his new spot next to me. How Sannan-san managed to do these things was always beyond me.

"Now if you would remove your clothing." Matsumoto-sensei said without skipping a beat as he stared flatly at Itou-san.

"W-What?! No!" Itou-san exclaimed as he tried to escape, causing Matsumoto-sensei to narrow his eyes. As soon as Itou-san decided to make a run for it, Matsumoto-sensei's hand shot out and grabbed Itou-san's haori to keep him in place.

"I hate dealing with your type the most." Matsumoto-sensei said with an irritated sigh. "Always too worried about appearances. No need to worry. We're all men here, except for Shizuka-san, but it's not like it's something she's never seen before." Matsumoto-sensei explained reasonably before he proceeded to forcefully strip Itou-san of his clothing.

"W-What are you doing, you vulgar man?!" Itou-san yelped as he struggled to get away. "S-Stop! This is sexual harassment!"

"Aww, don't be like that, Itou-san!" Shinpachi-san called mockingly from further down the line before he began to proudly flex his muscles. "When you're a man you show off what you've got!" Shinpachi-san then proceeded to pose in all sorts of different ways as he flexed his muscles some more. "Like this! And this! Or this!"

"W-What are you talking about, you meathead?!" Itou-san exclaimed as he managed to get free of Matsumoto-sensei's grasp and as soon as he succeeded, he fled out the door with his arms wrapped around his chest.

"Oh? It looks like he didn't finish his exam." Sannan-san said with sadistic glee. "I suppose I'll go fetch him again."

And with that, Sannan-san stepped out of the room with a bounce in his step as he happily hummed to himself. Oh Sannan-san, what would we do without you? It was a great thing he didn't drink the Water of Life. One of the things I would have missed the most if he did drink the Water of Life would have been his sadistic nature that liked to watch other people suffer.

"OH! Great! It's my turn!" Shinpachi-san suddenly exclaimed excitedly as he rushed forward, cutting in line, before he came to a stop in front of Matsumoto-sensei and began flexing. "Yeah! If you please, Doc! Whaddya think? This body of mine was forged and forged again through the sword arts!"

And more flexing ensued.

"Yeah, Shinpat-san's body is strong. It's his HEAD that needs lookin' at." Heisuke happily mocked Shinpachi-san from a little bit further back up the line when he had enough of Shinpachi-san's senseless flexing.

"Huh?" Shinpachi-san spun around to holler back while waving his fist around haphazardly like a drunken fool. "Talk like that and I'll strangle ya, Heisuke!"

Right… Everyone here was a colorful bunch. Turning around to now face my own line of patients, I paused and let out a small sigh before I smiled at the person who was standing half-naked in front of me. Of course he would ignore the instructions.

"Souji, you're supposed to go to the other line." I said as I put my hands on my hips.

"I didn't feel like it." Souji said childishly as he playfully wiggled his eyebrows at me. "Now if you would, Sensei."

* * *

"So how were the exams?" Otou-san asked cheerfully as he entered the now empty room.

Matsumoto-sensei and I had just finished up the exams and were now tidying up the room. As for Yamazaki-san… He vanished as soon as the exams were over, but I couldn't blame him. He had to deal with the most uncooperative patients again.

Matsumoto-sensei and I looked at each other briefly before Matsumoto-sensei spoke up. "It was just as Shizuka-san predicted. There aren't many wounded or seriously ill men, but there is a hygiene problem. The men that are sick could have avoided getting sick by practicing better hygiene."

"Hygiene?" Otou-san asked with a slight tilt of his head, stoking Matsumoto-sensei's ire.

"Don't 'Hygiene?' me, Kondou-san!" Matsumoto-sensei said irritably as he rose to his full height and shoved a finger accusingly in Otou-san's face. "What have the men all been doing?! You can't just leave ALL the cleaning to Shizuka-san and Chizuru-chan! The headquarters is too big for just two women to clean all by themselves! This is why only a few of the rooms are spotless while the others are a pigsty! Get the men to clean up after themselves! Your HQ will become a den of illness if you don't do anything soon!"

"A-A den of illness?" Otou-san stuttered in shock at Matsumoto-san's sudden outburst.

"Get this headquarters clean, now!" Matsumoto-sensei demanded.

Otou-san, who was still in shock at the outburst and the finger in his face, was in no condition to say anything else but, "Y-Yes."

Oh, yay! Finally we could get the whole headquarters clean! I honestly had been waiting for this day a very long time. No more sneezing when passing by certain rooms, the removal of certain nasty odors, having clean floors in all the rooms instead of only a certain few, today was going to be a great day.

"Now should we get started?" I chirped cheerfully at Otou-san.

* * *

"Ah, what a horrible day." Souji complained as he sat down behind me on our futon and draped himself lazily over my shoulder as he pressed his cheek against mine later that night. "I can't believe we just spent the rest of today cleaning."

"Really? I thought it was a great day, seeing now that we have clean floors. I love clean floors." I said cheerfully before I placed a single finger on my lips in a shushing gesture. "And, shhh. Not so loud. Ryota is already sleeping."

"Great day?" Souji muttered fractiously, obviously disagreeing with me. "I seriously question what you consider as having a good time."

"Cleaning." I said just to irritate him more.

Souji groaned before lightly nipping my ear in weak retaliation.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Souji suddenly said as he shed his grouchy mood and sat up straight. "I spoke to Hijikata-san and Kondou-san about us going to Edo to visit family earlier today. They went ahead and gave the okay. We're leaving in a week."

"Then is there someone who is willing to take over your duties while we're gone?"

"I did say that Sannan-san was itching to get back in the field, right? He instantly volunteered to take over my duties. He is getting a bit stir-crazy about being locked up in headquarters." Souji said before his face became sour, like he was remembering something else.

"What is it?"

"Itou-san." Souji spat with extreme annoyance. "He overheard my conversation with Kondou-san and Hijikata-san and took it upon himself to impose on us. He's heading over to Edo too to recruit."

Wait, he's traveling with us? Well wasn't that just awesome? Now Souji and Ryota would be grumpy the whole trip to Edo. Itou-san better not demand that we stayed together while we were in Edo or I might just kill him myself.

"Huh? Shizuka?" Souji asked in surprise as I suddenly stood up. "Going somewhere?"

"I'm going to see if I can purchase some fugu before we leave. If Itou-san is really annoying then I just might poison him. Seriously, what better time to poison him then while we're away from Kyoto?" I said jokingly to Souji to cheer him up, but seriously, I don't think I was really joking around that much. I was semi-serious too. Itou-san was really annoying.

* * *

[1] Gastroenteritis or infectious diarrhea is a medical condition from inflammation ("-itis") of the gastrointestinal tract that involves both the stomach ("gastro"-) and the small intestine ("entero"-). It causes some combination of diarrhea, vomiting, and abdominal pain and cramping. Dehydration may occur as a result. Gastroenteritis has been referred to as gastro, stomach bug, and stomach virus. Although unrelated to influenza, it has also been called stomach flu and gastric flu.

[2] _Campylobacter_ (meaning "curved bacteria") is a genus of Gram-negative, microaerophilic, oxidase-positive, nonfermentative bacteria. _Campylobacter_ species are typically spiral-shaped and able to move via unipolar or bipolar flagella. Most _Campylobacter_ species are pathogenic and can infect humans and other animals. At least a dozen species of _Campylobacter_ have been implicated in human disease, with _C. jejuni_ and _C. coli_ the most common. _C. jejuni_ is now recognized as one of the main causes of bacterial foodborne disease in many developed countries. _C. fetus_ is a cause of spontaneous abortions in cattle and sheep, as well as an opportunistic pathogen in humans.

[3] Pneumonia is an inflammatory condition of the lung affecting primarily the microscopic air sacs known as alveoli. It is usually caused by infection with viruses or bacteria and less commonly other microorganisms, certain drugs and other conditions such as autoimmune diseases.

[4] Trachoma, also called granular conjunctivitis, Egyptian ophthalmia, and blinding trachoma is an infectious disease caused by the bacterium Chlamydia trachomatis. The infection causes a roughening of the inner surface of the eyelids. This roughening can lead to pain in the eyes, breakdown of the outer surface or cornea of the eyes, and possibly to blindness.

[5] Hepatitis A (formerly known as infectious hepatitis) is an acute infectious disease of the liver caused by the hepatitis A virus (HAV). Many cases have few or no symptoms, especially in the young. The time between infection and symptoms, in those who develop them, is between two and six weeks. When symptoms occur, they typically last eight weeks and may include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, jaundice, fever, and abdominal pain. Around 10–15% of people experience a recurrence of symptoms during the six months after the initial infection. Acute liver failure may rarely occur with this being more common in the elderly.

[6] Giardiasis (popularly known as beaver fever) is a zoonotic parasitic disease caused by the flagellate protozoan _Giardia lamblia_ (also sometimes called _Giardia intestinalis_ and _Giardia duodenalis_).

[7] Scabies, known as the seven-year itch, is a contagious skin infestation by the mite _Sarcoptes scabiei_. The most common symptoms are severe itchiness and a pimple-like rash. Occasionally tiny burrows may be seen in the skin. When first infected, usually two to six weeks are required before symptoms occur. If a person develops a second infection later in life, symptoms may begin within a day. These symptoms can present across most of the body or just certain areas such as the wrists, between fingers, or along the waistline. The head may be affected, however this is typically only in young children, and not in older children or adults. The itch is often worse at night. Scratching may cause skin breakdown and an additional bacterial infection of the skin.

[8] Pediculosis is an infestation of lice—blood-feeding ectoparasitic insects of the order Phthiraptera. The condition can occur in almost any species of warm-blooded animal (i.e., mammals and birds), including humans. Although "pediculosis" in humans may properly refer to lice infestation of any part of the body, the term is sometimes used loosely to refer to _pediculosis capitis_, the infestation of the human head with the specific head louse.

[9] Hookworm, _Ascaris_, and whipworm are known as soil-transmitted helminths (parasitic worms). Hookworms live in the small intestine. Hookworm eggs are passed in the feces of an infected person. If the infected person defecates outside (near bushes, in a garden, or field) of if the feces of an infected person are used as fertilizer, eggs are deposited on soil. They can then mature and hatch, releasing larvae (immature worms). The larvae mature into a form that can penetrate the skin of humans. Hookworm infection is mainly acquired by walking barefoot on contaminated soil. One kind of hookworm can also be transmitted through the ingestion of larvae.

[10] _Strongyloides stercoralis_ is a human pathogenic parasitic roundworm causing the disease strongyloidiasis. Its common name is threadworm. The _Strongyloides stercoralis_ nematode can parasitize humans. The adult parasitic stage lives in tunnels in the mucosa of the small intestine. Many people infected are asymptomatic at first. Symptoms include dermatitis: swelling, itching, larva currens, and mild hemorrhage at the site where the skin has been penetrated. Spontaneous scratch-like lesions may be seen on the face or elsewhere. If the parasite reaches the lungs, the chest may feel as if it is burning, and wheezing and coughing may result, along with pneumonia-like symptoms (Löffler's syndrome). The intestines could eventually be invaded, leading to burning pain, tissue damage, sepsis, and ulcers. Stools may have yellow mucus with a recognizable smell. Chronic diarrhea can be a symptom. In severe cases, edema may result in obstruction of the intestinal tract, as well as loss of peristaltic contractions.

[11] Roundworms can infest the human gut, where they live, feed and reproduce. They don't often cause any symptoms, but are more likely to in large numbers.

[12] A non-bending Japanese fan made with bamboo and has a design painted on it.

[13] Yōkan (羊羹) is a thick, jellied dessert made of red bean paste, agar, and sugar. It is usually sold in a block form, and eaten in slices. There are two main types: neri yōkan and mizu yōkan. "Mizu" means "water", and indicates that it is made with more water than usual. Mizu yōkan is often chilled and eaten in summer.


	79. Chapter 76

**Chapter 76**

"If you have one parent who loves you, even if they can't buy you clothes, they're so poor and they make all kinds of mistakes and maybe sometimes they even give you awful advice, but never for one moment do you doubt their love for you—if you have this, you have incredibly good fortune.  
If you have two parents who love you? You have won life's Lotto.  
If you do not have parents, or if the parents you have are so broken and so, frankly, terrible that they are no improvement over nothing, this is fine. It's not ideal because it's harder without adults who love you more than they love themselves. But harder is just harder, that's all." ― Augusten Burroughs, _This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude &amp; More. For Young and Old Alike._

With our luggage tied unto his back like a backpack, Souji, whom seemed suspiciously happy and excited, swiftly put his arm around my waist as he hurried to usher me out of headquarters and onto the street. For our family trip to Edo, we had gotten up extra early to leave for our trip. In fact, we had gotten up much earlier than what was required for our journey because Souji had stated that "It would be a good idea to leave early in the morning so we'll have more daylight to travel by." However, as sound as that reason was, I wasn't fooled. I knew the real reason that Souji wanted to leave so early. It was so he could "forget" Itou-san was supposed to leave with us and so that we could "accidently" leave him behind. One would think that having to wake up and leave so early in the morning would upset Ryota and make him fussy but that wasn't the case. Ryota seemed to be in perfect sync with his father lately. Our son seemed to understand why his father wanted to set off so early, and so, seemed deliriously jubilant. It appeared that Ryota was just like his father in his dislike of Itou-san and was thereby thrilled that Itou-san was nowhere in sight during this particular morning.

I probably should have said something about their rude behavior, but in all honesty, I kind of hoped that this planned work. Just the thought of traveling with Itou-san for an extended period of time made my stomach turn. Itou-san was like that annoying, nosey neighbor that never left anyone alone and was always forcing his opinions on other people. Also, the way Itou-san spoke to my loved ones made me want to kick him in the stomach. He was less than polite and respectful to people he deemed below him, which was quite a large amount of people. However, I personally never had to worry too much about how Itou-san spoke to me. Despite being a woman, I surprisingly had his respect. It appeared that the vast quantity of medical knowledge I acquired in my past life was useful for more than medicine.

"Alright, now that everything is taken care of, let's go already." Souji cheered as he stepped onto the street with his arms snuggly wrapped around my waist.

"Yappo!" Ryota chirped in my arms as he wiggled in glee at the lack of Itou-san's presence.

However, unfortunately, the cheers of glee were rather short-lived. Ryota barely finished his little chirp of joy before the one person that both Souji and Ryota were trying to ditch appeared at the front gates of the headquarters, fully packed and totally unruffled. The knowing gleam in his eye with the confident smile quickly told me that he had expected Souji to attempt to leave without him and was quite pleased when he foiled Souji's plan.

"Ah, good. Both of you are here already." Itou-san said with his smile growing smugger as he stepped forward to face Souji. "And here I was, worried that I would be too early. I pray you did not have to wait too long for me, Okita-san?" Itou-san said to rub the plan's failure into Souji's face.

Ah, the look on both Souji's and Ryota's faces. It was almost like someone told them that their favorite goldfish died. Ryota just sat in my arms, flabbergasted, as he stared back at Itou-san openly with his mouth hanging open while Souji turned his head and let out a subtle, "Tch!" once he got over Itou-san's sudden appearance.

"A-Ah, Itou-san." I quickly turned to answered Itou-san with the best bow I could manage while carrying Ryota to cover for Souji's rudeness. There was no way we could leave Kyoto without Itou-san now. If we had to be around Itou-san then I'd better make sure to be polite so that Souji and Itou-san wouldn't be clashing as much throughout the whole trip. That would be unbearable. "No, we weren't waiting long. We just got here."

"Good, good." Itou-san said with a faux kind smile gracing his lips as he went ahead and annoyingly poked Ryota on the cheek with his dagger-like finger. "Your son's not too sleepy from waking up so early, right? I'd hate for him to be fussy on the road."

Ryota, who quickly got over his disappointment once Itou-san started digging his fingernail into the skin of his cheek, tried to move away from Itou-san's sharp finger by pressing his face against my chest. When that proved fruitless, he turned his face towards Itou-san so that the next time Itou-san moved to poke his cheek, Itou-san's finger would end up in his mouth. True to the prediction, that was exactly what happened. And as Itou-san blinked confusedly at the sudden lack of cheek, Ryota quickly bit down on the finger that was in his mouth. As Ryota was now teething, the bite actually hurt enough for Itou-san to let out a shrill shriek of pain as Itou-san flailed about while trying to remove Ryota.

"Get it off! Get that thing off my finger!" Itou-san shrieked while attempting to tug his finger free.

In an instant, rage colored my vision red. My son was not an "it" or a "thing". He was a baby that was clearly very uncomfortable with the poking and sent very clear signs that the pokes hurt. What did Itou-san expect would happen when he continuously poked Ryota's cheek like that? Sure, Itou-san may have seen Souji poke Ryota's cheek all the time, but there was no way Itou-san should have expected the same, affectionate response Souji always got from his son. First off, Ryota adored his father and hated Itou-san, and I was pretty sure Itou-san knew that. Second, Itou-san's poke was more like a miniature stab compared to the gentle ones Souji used on Ryota. It should have been no surprise to Itou-san that Ryota chose to bite him.

"Ah, Ryota." I whispered into Ryota's ear as calmly as I could manage at the moment to attempt to coax him into releasing Itou-san's finger. Itou-san deserved to be bitten, but I was more worried what Itou-san would attempt to do to Ryota in an attempt to get his finger free. In my own opinion, Itou-san deserved a lot worse. "Let go of the finger. You don't know where it's been." I finished as I rudely spoke the last part loudly to ensure Itou-san knew what I thought of him at the moment.

"Pat!" Ryota exclaim with a grimace as he spat Itou-san's finger out of his mouth while looking disgusted before he whined miserably and pressed his face against my chest for comfort. Ah, good. Now that was taken care of…

"Itou-san, you idiot!" I growled as I allowed my maternal anger to finally erupt as I harshly cuffed the back of the effeminate man's head. "What did you think would happen with you stabbing Ryota's cheek like that?! Couldn't you tell that you were hurting him?"

Itou-san, who was wiping his saliva covered finger on his haori when I cuffed the back of his head, instantly ceased his previous actions as he raised his face to glower at me with narrowed eyes. His fine lips twisted into an ugly scowl at the word "idiot". As a woman, dictated by societal norms, I shouldn't have spoken to him like that. And as someone who was use to respect, Itou-san did not take it well when I raised a hand against him. In an instant, before I could pull my hand away, Itou-san snatched my wrist up in a bruising clutch. However, before more damage could be done, Souji slapped Itou-san's hand away in a flash of movement and inserted himself defensively between me and Itou-san before he hand tensed around the handle of his blade.

"What do you think you're doing?" Souji growled darkly and almost too calmly for what the situation called for.

Despite the obvious death threat that was detectable from Souji's bristling, Itou-san brushed aside Souji to address me directly. "You have some nerve, raising your hand to me and speaking to me in such a rude manner. I am a tolerant man, but even I will not tolerate this disrespect." Itou-san spoke down at me with dark self-righteousness. "You're son is not disciplined well at all. This is no doubt the result of poor parenting."

Poor parenting? He was the one hurting Ryota, and he was calling us poor parents because Ryota reacted to the pain? What Itou said and did was just unforgivable. That was the straw the broke the camel's back.

Bristling along with Souji at that retort, I hissed at Itou, "'Not disciplined well at all'? The one that's not disciplined well at all is you!" I spat in outrage. To hell with trying to ensure we all got along on this trip. Itou went too far the moment he hurt my son and insulted both mine and Souji's parenting skills. Who was he to say that Souji and I were poor parents when he had no children himself? "Are you so stupid that you wouldn't realize that your pokes were hurting MY SON? Of course he would have retaliated! You're the one hurting a BABY!"

As if the situation couldn't get any worse, Itou's face formed into a snarl as he bore his teeth at me. As it looked like he was about to harshly discipline me with his sword, Souji unsheathed his sword slightly to be prepared for when Itou-san drew his sword. However, before the situation could explode, three sets of footsteps rushed to where we were, as we were probably being very loud.

"Souji? Shizu-chan? Itou-san? What is all the fuss about?" Otou-san spoke up from behind us with a look of confusion as he focused on our faces, thereby missing the hands that were on the swords.

However, unlike Otou-san, Hijikata-san's and Sannan-san's eyes weren't focused on our faces. Their eyes widened in alarm as they landed on the swords. Itou-san was slowly releasing his grip on the handle of his sword and Souji was sliding his sword back into its sheath. The two men also did not miss how tense everyone was and how Souji was protectively standing in front of me while Ryota was pitifully whining into my chest with a single, angry red cheek, a telltale sign of recent trauma. In an instant, their faces grew dark as they focused on Itou to demand an answer.

"Ah, Kondou-san, good morning." Itou-san said gracefully as the angry snarl he wore instantly vaporize and was replaced with his usual graceful look. "No, nothing happened. Just a minor misunderstanding."

Minor misunderstanding my ass!

"Good!" Otou-san chirped happily as he grinned obliviously at Itou. "I was worried that you got into a fight with Shizu-chan and Souji. That would have been troublesome, especially if you requested to travel to Edo separately. The roads are dangerous now and one can never be too careful."

"Wait Kondou-san." Hijikata-san said firmly without taking his glare off of Itou.

"What was this 'minor' misunderstanding?" Sannan-san added as his analytical eyes fell on me and Souji.

"Nothing." I spoke up just as Souji opened his mouth, causing him to shoot an angry look of disapproval at me.

Things in the Shinsengumi were already becoming shaky enough with Itou's meddling. If more fuel was added to the fire then the foundations of the Shinsengumi might be completely burned away. I didn't want things to fall apart in this manner, especially with Otou-san smiling at me like he was right now. Besides, Otou-san did have a point. The roads were dangerous right now, especially with all the ronin who had a personal grudge against the Shinsengumi. It would be too dangerous to travel alone right now. What had to be done was to push aside personal vendettas and work together.

"Shizu—" Hijikata-san began to say with disapproval, only to be cut off.

"It's nothing." I repeated more firmly, signaling the end of the conversation before I turned around and began walking towards the border of the city. To get this painful trip over as soon as possible, I put one foot in front of another and began walking towards the edge of the city and Souji and Itou-san soon quickly followed.

"Hmm… That's strange…" I heard Otou-san say as our little traveling group got further away from headquarters. "Shizu-chan didn't even attempt to say goodbye to me. I wonder if she's feeling okay."

"Kondou-san, with all due respect, you have many talents, but reading a situation is not your best skill." Sannan-san said to Otou-san with a tired sigh.

"Huh? You think so?" Otou-san asked as he and Sannan-san retreated back into headquarters. Hijikata-san, on the other hand, remained outside and watched us until he couldn't see us anymore.

I did understand why Otou-san wanted us to travel together. Ronin did often attack people on the road and the members of the Shinsengumi were often high on their priority list. Otou-san just wanted us to stay safe, but in all honesty, I wondered how safe we would be. It appeared to me more and more that Itou was the kind to stab people in the back. Of course, Itou wouldn't actually physically stab anyone in the back while we were on the road. There was safety in numbers after all, but I couldn't quell the little voice in the back of my head warning me, "Kill before he kills."

* * *

One would think that after an argument of that magnitude was interrupted, we would resume the argument once we were out of the presence of the Commander, but that wasn't the case. Sure, it was uncomfortable as hell as we traveled together, but no one actually said anything. But it was this silence that was suffocating. The air around our group was as taut as a bowstring and so tense that people who were traveling on the same road actually took great pains to avoid our group. Even Ryota, who was normally a loquacious baby, was silent in my arms as he continued to look miserable. A trip like this to go visit family was supposed to be fun, not…not whatever this was.

I let out a tired sigh before I snuck a subtle glance at Souji and Itou-san. Those two were still glaring daggers at each other. After we had left Kyoto, both men had been glaring wearily at each other nonstop. While no one actually spoke to each other during the trip so far, it wasn't as silent as most outsiders would guess. I could only guess what the two men were telling each other with their glares: death threats, insults, blackmail, and possibly more.

Now that I also had more time to think for myself, I realized that I could have also handled the situation from earlier a lot better. What Itou-san said about Souji and me and what he did to Ryota was unforgivable in my mind, but instead of adding fuel to the fire, I should have tried to smooth the situation over. If I had more control over my anger then we could have avoided that argument in the morning. While the initial dislike over Itou would have remained for Souji and Ryota, the situation wouldn't have been exasperated. If I had better control over my anger then the whole atmosphere wouldn't be this tense right now and the journey to Edo might actually have been enjoyable.

I sighed once more and looked up at the sky to determine the position of the sun. We had been on the road for a few hours now and it was now nearing noon. We should be taking a break now if not soon. Everyone needed their bathroom breaks and Ryota needed to eat.

"Souji?" I whispered quietly to Souji, causing him to break his glare with Itou-san as he shifted his eyes to look at me questioningly. "It's almost noon. Ryota needs to eat. We need to eat."

"Hmm, alright." Souji said in a surprisingly calm voice before he shifted his eyes forward on the path we were walking on. "There should be a small rest stop just over that hill. We should get there in a minute, so just wait a litt—"

"Stay away! Don't touch my granddaughter!" a woman's shrill voice cut through the tense atmosphere.

What was that?! That came from the little rest stop that was just beyond the hill we were near. This was what Otou-san meant by the road was unsafe. Ronin with too much to drink and too little coin preying on the weak and the helpless. I instinctively hugged Ryota closer to me as he whined before my eyes quickly shot to Souji and Itou-san. Both men, despite absolutely hating each other now, both nodded at me before nodding at each other in agreement to put aside their differences. In the end, both men were still elite members of the Shinsengumi with their duties of protecting civilians, even if they weren't in Kyoto.

"Shizuka, we're going." Souji said while staring at me directly in my eyes, telling me wordlessly to stay put with Ryota. I may have had my naginata with me but I couldn't exactly fight with a baby in my arms. "We won't take long so sit tight and don't follow us down the hill."

"Alright." I said with a slight nod of my head. "Please be careful."

So, I could be on top of the hill and watch the fight as long as I didn't go down the hill. That meant he didn't want me getting involved in the skirmish, but he also wanted me close enough so that he could keep an eye on me. With so many ronin wandering around, Souji was worried that Ryota and I might get attack by other ronin if we weren't close enough to him.

"Okita-san! There's no time for this! Hurry up!" Itou-san said in an urgent rush while waiting for Souji before bolting over the hill together.

"Hush, hush, Ryota." I gently rocked Ryota back and forth when he whined and reached his arm towards the hill his father bolted over.

I stayed in the same place and rocked Ryota for a few more seconds before I jogged towards the hilltop to observe the situation. From the hilltop I could see the ronin. There were a total of five hostile ronin surrounding an average size cart, filled with merchandise, with their swords drawn. Attached to the cart was a single spooked horse rearing back in fear from the sudden attack. The owners of the cart appeared to be an elderly couple traveling with their granddaughter.

The air had an explosive quality as I watched on. The elderly couple's granddaughter, who was a pretty girl with long brown hair, aged twelve to thirteen, had been taken hostage by one of the ronin and had a sword placed threateningly against her neck. I couldn't see the elderly couple's faces, but I didn't need to in order to know what type of expressions they would be wearing. The young girl was in tears as she continuously screamed for her grandparents.

"What's this? Couldn't find men your own skill level to face?" Souji stated sarcastically as he and Itou approached the brewing situation with their swords drawn. "But I suppose you would have to settle for what you guys did find since it's hard to find someone with the same dirt poor skill level."

"Say that again!" the ronin that was holding the young girl hostage barked as he pressed his sword closer to the girl's neck, drawing a whimper.

Itou sighed daintily in his own response as he directed the point of his sword at the ronin on his left. "This is why I despise traveling to Edo. There are so many barbaric oafs on the road that are so stupid that they're deaf." Itou added on to Souji's sarcastic remark.

Despite the men absolutely abhorring each other, right now, no one would be able to tell. While Itou was a prick of massive proportions, there were other reasons besides his intelligence and amazing orating skills that made him such a valuable member to the Shinsengumi. While conducting business or participating in a battle, Itou always seemed to fit in seamlessly with his comrades when he was working. He was a focused man that rarely let anything interfere with his job.

The ronin holding the young girl snapped at Itou's remark. In his rage, the ronin tossed the girl behind him before leaping into action as he ran towards Itou-san recklessly. When that man ran forward, that signaled the other four ronin to rush in and attack too. The ronin didn't stand a ghost of a chance against Souji and Itou. Once the battle started, Souji became a whirlwind of death. A fast feral, but precise slash from Souji nearly cut one man in half laterally, instantly killing him before he even had a chance to swing his sword downwards at Souji. Then without pause, Souji spun around smoothly with a strike so fast that it was nearly invisible, and gut the man that was behind him.

Itou's, in comparison, attack style was incredibly different Souji's. Souji was fast, destructive, and unusually graceful in battle, a tornado if you will. Itou, on the other hand, was like a venomous viper. Fast, simple, and precise strikes that came in the form of thrusts was Itou's fighting style. Like Souji, Itou took out two ronin on his own. The first ronin fell after receiving a precise stab to his throat, leaving him to asphyxiate on his own blood. The second ronin received a quick stab to the heart, instantly killing him. While Itou's fighting style did not look as flashy or as violent as Souji's style, it was just as deadly. Itou was not as skilled as Souji, Saito-san, or Shinpachi-san, but he could certainly compete well with the other captains.

As Itou and Souji pulled their blades out of the corpses of their most recent victims, the last remaining ronin backed away in fear while shaking so badly that the sword he held in his hands quivered like a leaf in a strong wind.

"So, what will YOU do?" Souji asked the last remaining ronin with a feral grin while drenched in blood as Itou-san silently pointed his sword at the terrified man.

Another difference between Souji's and Itou's fighting style was that Souji was more difficult to clean up after. Souji would always be drenched in his enemies' blood at the end of battle, seeing that he always split his foes wide open, and there would be entrails left all over the site of the battle. Itou, on the other hand, would rarely have anything else other than his blade touch the enemies' blood. To clean up the battlefield after Itou-san fought would just merely consist of picking up the bodies and washing away the spots of blood on the ground.

The last ronin standing, whimpered slightly as he quickly looked around for a way to gain an advantage. While he was terrified, his brothers-in-arms had been cut down and he was honor bound to avenge his brothers. He wasn't going to run, but what could he do? He obviously wasn't dumb enough to straight out attack Souji and Itou, especially after seeing what those two men were capable of in a few mere seconds.

While desperately scanning the site for any possible ways he could pull a victory out from this rut, the ronin's eyes landed on me atop the hill before he smirked slyly and bolted towards me. How predictable. It really wouldn't take a genius to figure out that the man wanted to use me as a hostage. There I was, a young woman standing nearby with a baby in my arms. The perfect hostage, right? He was sorely mistaken.

If the man had been paying attention to anything else other than the fact that I had a baby in my arms then he would have noticed the naginata strapped to my back. Granted I couldn't really use the naginata with my hands full, it should have still signaled to the man that I had some combat experience and that I wasn't truly helpless. If he had been paying closer attention, then he would have approached me with more care.

When the man took off and ran towards me, Souji let out a tired sigh before he seriously glanced up at me with an almost lazy expression. He then flicked the blood off his katana and sheathed it. Despite an armed and dangerous man rushing towards me and Ryota, Souji wasn't worried at all.

As the ronin clumsily approached me, all I had to do was quickly sidestep him while sticking my foot out to trip the man before giving him a firm kick to the back of his head to render him unconscious. However, I would suggest that one should only attempt this with closed toed shoes. Because, while it wasn't like I was kicking a rock, the human head was still pretty hard. At this moment, I wished that all my footwear didn't resemble a flip-flop of some kind.

"Enyanabyo?" Ryota babbled at me questioningly as he lifted his head off my chest to stare at the unconscious man, as if he were asking, "What happened?" seeing that he wasn't really paying attention to what was going on around him. Then, before I could answer him, he seemed not to care anymore as he comfortably rested his face back against my chest.

"Shizuka, you can come down here now." Souji called to me, catching my attention once more as he waved at me from the bottom of the hill. "Oh, and bring that unconscious guy down with you too. We'll figure out what to do with him in just a bit."

Alright then. Bending down slightly, so I could grab the man around the ankle, I went ahead and dragged the man down the hill with me without caring that I was dragging this dirt-bag's face on the floor. Once I got to where Souji was, I dropped the man and looked at Souji questioningly.

"So, what are we going to do with him?" I gestured to the ronin.

I personally would vote to kill him and be done with him. Despite just leaving Kyoto a couple of hours earlier, we were already far enough from the city that there would be no jail to leave him at. So arresting him wasn't an option, but we couldn't just let him go either. This man reeked of blood despite not having a drop of fresh blood on him. This meant that he probably killed some people earlier today and if we let him go, then we were just unleashing this man on some other innocent people. There would be nothing stopping him from killing the next traveler. Finally, the most important reason why I thought we should just kill the man was because he was clearly the type of man that would seek revenge. Souji and I had a young son now and our son was still unable to defend himself. I wasn't going to risk the man coming after Ryota as a form of revenge for Souji and Itou killing his comrades.

"I'd say we dispose of him." Souji said in all seriousness as he carefully watched Ryota, who had just experienced his first truly dangerous situation. Although, I can say it hardly affected Ryota all that much. He wasn't even paying attention and was just content with pushing his face against my chest.

"Agreed." I answered without hesitation. And with that, Souji drew his blade again and finished the last man off with a quick swing of his blade before he flicked the blood off of it once more and sheathed it.

"Well, now that's taken care of…" Souji said before he looked at Ryota once more and let out a depressed sounding sigh as he dropped his gaze to stare at his bloodstained hands and clothing. "I guess I can't hold him while I'm still a mess…"

Oh, Souji… He was worried about frightening Ryota. He didn't want his own son to be terrified of him because of all the death and blood, but luckily for Souji, Ryota was so content with having his face against my chest that he didn't even bother looking up. Ryota never actually saw the fight and had yet to see Souji covered in blood.

"Don't worry about that." I said gently as my facial features softened. "Ryota didn't see anything. There's a river nearby so go toss the bodies in the bushes before you go wash up and change. And don't worry about the elderly couple and their granddaughter, Itou's taking care of that."

Souji nodded silently before he glimpsed over enviously at blood-free Itou, who was calming the family down with his skillful words, before Souji quickly pecked me on the lips and went to do what he was told.

"Ah, Shizuka-chan, come over here. They want to speak to you." Itou-san said with fake kindness as he cheerfully as he waved me over to where he and the family was. "They want to thank us for helping them."

"Okay." I replied amicably before I approached the family, but once I came up next to Itou, I froze in horror and blanked out.

While I can say I never met the young girl before, I couldn't say the same for the elderly couple. Aside from the gray hairs that spouted on their heads and the few extra wrinkles, they looked remarkably the same. Everything from the strict no-nonsense expression the elderly man always wore to the deceivingly kind smile on the elderly woman's face. It had been nineteen long years since I had last saw my biological grandparents of this life and it was a billion years too soon to see them again.

"Thank you for rescuing us." my grandmother said without a hint of recognition. "If your husband and your traveling companion did not help us then I'm sure we would have been done for. Please allow us to repay your kindness by allowing you to hitch a ride with us to Edo. Itou-dono did say you were heading towards the same destination as us."

"Why thank you for you kindness. We accept your generosity." Itou answered graciously when I failed to gather my wits in time to turn down the offer.


	80. Chapter 77

So, it took me longer to update because this chapter was so difficult to write. Unfortunately, I do not foresee a quick update after this chapter either. I have midterms coming up next week and I also need to apply for several internships. I guess it can be said that it is both wonderful and horrible that my school requires at least 8 units worth of internship time in order to graduate. And while I'm still rambling, I would like to say HOLY CRAP! I just realized that I have the longest Hakuoki fanfiction on this website! Quick! Someone start on another Hakuoki story so we can have another long story to enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 77**

"Some of the most beautiful things worth having in your life come wrapped in a crown of thorns." ― Shannon L. Alder

Despite the fact that Souji was supposed to be engrossed in his conversation with Chinatsu, the twelve year old girl who was apparently my half-sister, I still could feel his curious eyes subtly prod me every few seconds to attempt to get a reaction out of me. I had personally thought that Souji's love of children and attention would keep him occupied, especially when Chinatsu glued herself to Souji's side during our ride on the horse-drawn cart, but apparently it wasn't great enough for him to ignore how deathly pale and silent I was. When he failed to coerce even a slight response out of me, he changed tactics and turned his subtle glance towards Ryota, who was still sitting on my lap and was currently amusing himself with his own fingers. As if feeling an invisible poke, Ryota looked up from his fingers and his eyes met his father's for a few seconds. Then with instructions received, Ryota let out a few words of nonsensical babble before he turned around and lightly tugged at my bangs that fell on both sides of my face, but even that was futile. I didn't react. I couldn't react, I didn't know how anymore.

It had been years since I had contact with anyone that was biologically related to me, if I didn't count my son. I didn't know how I was supposed to behave around my blood relatives. I never thought that I would ever meet anyone in my estranged biological family again. Japan, despite being a rather small country compared to some of the other countries, was still pretty large in my mind. It shouldn't have been hard to avoid such a small group of people, so why the hell did I have to run into my biological grandparents and my half-sister? The chances of me randomly running into them was less than two percent! I seriously had shitty luck, as Heisuke would say.

So now that I actually did run into part of my biological family, what should I do? I was sure that Chinatsu wasn't aware that she had an older half-sister and my biological grandparents obviously did not recognize me. Should I confront them? Should I just pretend that I didn't know them and that this was our first time meeting? I didn't know. All I did know was that I wanted to get the hell away from them. I didn't want them to know who I was and I wanted nothing to do with them. It was at times like this that I wished Otou-san and Hijikata-san, or Sannan-san was here. Otou-san, while he wasn't the best at offering advice in situations like this, was always able to comfort and calm me down enough so I could make a logical decision. On the other hand, both Hijikata-san and Sannan-san were always able to offer sound advice. What should I do? Should I do the right thing? What was even the right thing to do? I didn't know.

"Souji, are you even listening to me?" Chinatsu whined and even stomped her foot a little when she caught Souji sneaking a side glance at me.

"Huh? Oh, sure." Souji quickly responded before he shot her a dazzling smile with a lighthearted shrug.

"Liar." the young girl retorted disbelievingly before puffing her cheeks out and narrowing her eyes ever so slightly. "What was I saying before?"

"Chinatsu, it rude to call someone a liar." Noriko-san, or rather our grandmother, quickly said as she paused her own conversation only to dutifully scold her granddaughter before returning back to her swoon-inducing talk with Itou with a schoolgirl's blush.

However, Norio-san, who was Noriko-san's husband, didn't even bother trying to scold Chinatsu. All he did was snort at his wife's response before he silently focused his attention back on driving the cart. He seemed to deem scolding his granddaughter for such a minor offense as a waste of time.

At Noriko-san's lazy reprimand, the young girl bristled and shot a dirty look at her grandmother, causing Souji to quirk an eyebrow and shoot a slanted grin at girl before answering, "You were complaining about how you looked more like your Otou-san than your Okaa-san." without skipping a beat.

"Pft! Lucky guess…"

Souji merely laughed at the girl's broody response before poking the air out of her puffed up cheeks, causing Chinatsu to playfully swat Souji's hands away.

Chinatsu was a particularly interesting girl in my own opinion, although, there was a chance that opinion was bias just because she was my half-sister. Most people, after witnessing a violent death for the first time, would be fearful, but she wasn't even the least bit terrified, unlike her grandparents. Both Noriko-san and Norio-san were originally a bit frighten and weary of us, but they eventually calmed down when Itou worked his charm and spoke to them. However, Itou never actually bothered with Chinatsu when he calmed the grandparents down, so logically she should have still been terrified of us. But then again, she was still young. Maybe Chinatsu still saw the world in black and white. There were the bad guys and the good guys, and because we saved her and her grandparents, we were the good guys.

"But seriously, it's unfair." Chinatsu said as she let out a long breath when she resumed to conversing with Souji. "Why did I have to look more like Chichi-ue rather than Haha-ue? I wish I could have gotten my Haha-ue's pretty black hair and light skin, but nooo, I ended up with Chichi-ue's brown hair and tan skin. It's unfair how much your wife looks like more like my haha-ue than me and they're not even related."

"Wait, so Shizuka looks like your Okaa-san?" Souji asked as he sat up straighter as his gaze sharpened a ridiculous amount.

"Yeah." Chinatsu said, a little bit confused when Souji instantly snapped into a more serious persona. "They look enough alike to pass as sisters. Other than Haha-ue looking older than Shizuka-san, Haha-ue is taller and has amber colored eyes. Why do you want to know?"

"Just tryin' to figure something out." Souji answered vaguely as his eyes flickered to meet mine, but I was unable to hold his glance for more than half a second before I let my eyes drop to focus on the back of Ryota's head.

"Well, you'll get to see for yourself a little later today." Chinatsu continued speaking as if nothing was wrong. "As Obaa-chan mentioned earlier, were meeting up with both my parents and my ototo a little further down the road, I think at the next rest stop, before we continue down together to an inn in a small town to stay the night."

…That's right… Earlier on in the trip; when Itou, Souji, and I got on the cart; Norio-san went ahead and told us their traveling schedule. Apparently, the whole family had traveled down together from Edo before they had split up to conduct their business. Norio-san, Noriko-san, and Chinatsu had gone Kyoto to sell their wares while the other half the family, consisting of the parents and the younger brother had gone to Fukuchiyama to peddle the other half. Now that the family were done selling the wooden furniture they had produced, they were going to meet up on the road before traveling back up to Edo. After all these years, I was going to meet my biological mother again and that realization made me want to toss myself under the wheels of the cart so I could get run over.

My biological mother, Sachiko… From what I could gather from eavesdropping on the conversations that were occurring on the cart, Sachiko's life had changed greatly from when I was a part of the household. All those years ago, Sachiko was just an unfortunate fifteen year old girl that was a victim of rape. Her family was a poor farming family that lived in a small village close to Edo. She was a gentle and soft-spoken girl that had been greatly wronged by life. The Sachiko that I was hearing about now was a married woman with two children, a daughter and a son. She was the wife of a carpenter and now lived in the city of Edo. So much had changed and despite how many years it had been, I had expected her life to be stagnate and frozen in time. In my mind, I had felt slightly betrayed. How could the world continue moving without me in her life, after she had left me to die? I wanted to scream, to yell how unfair it was even though I knew I was the one being unfair. I knew she didn't want me because I was a product of rape. I understood her situation and while I didn't approve of her leaving a baby to die, I originally didn't even care that it was ME she abandoned. What right did I have now to complain about her not loving me? What right did I have now to expect her to love me when I originally didn't care?

"Babo?" I heard Ryota coo questioningly at me before I felt a small tug on the front collar of my kimono, finally me making focus on something else other than my own dark thoughts and back on reality. What did Ryota want…?

…

…

…

Oh shoot! Because I was so distracted with the most recent developments, I had forgotten that I still needed to feed Ryota. I was a mother now too. I had to stop being so selfish and wrapped up in my own situation, especially when I now had a child that depended on me. It was a miracle that Ryota was this patient with me and did not resort to crying and screaming to get my attention. I had to remember that I wasn't the only one having a crappy day, Ryota was too.

"Oh, Ryota…" I finally spoke softly in a near inaudible tone as I looked down at Ryota, who was still tugging at the front of my kimono. "Okaa-san's sorry. Just give me a few seconds. Souji, can you pass me a towel?"

"Alright." Souji replied as he pulled out a spare towel from our traveling bag.

I reached out to take the towel from Souji but as I grabbed a hold of it, the towel did not come with me freely. What was the towel snagged on? As I lifted my head to investigate, I saw that the towel wasn't caught on anything. Souji was still holding on to the towel and now that I finally lifted my head, he was now demanding my attention with a look of concern. He reached out to lightly caress my cheek with his free hand and carefully brushed aside a stray strain of hair.

"Souji?" I asked, a bit taken back by his gentle actions. He was always affectionate, but usually not so much when we was surrounded by people he barely knew.

"Are you okay?" Souji inquired softly, as if speaking to a spooked deer.

I silently nodded in a slow bobble, but Souji gave me a slight frown in response to let me know that he didn't believe me. Instead of pressing me for an answer right now, he let out a sigh before he subtly flickered his eyes over to where my biological grandparents were sitting before letting his eyes settle soothingly back on me.

"We'll talk later." Souji said quietly before he pressed a quick kiss on my forehead as he dropped his hand from my cheek and released the hold he had on the towel in his other hand.

"Ah! So you can speak!" Chinatsu butt in as she shoved her curious face into mine as I was draping the towel over my chest.

I instantly scooted backwards on my seat at the sudden intrusion of space while blinking confusingly at her. Lack of respect for other people's personal space much? She certainly was a lively girl and was way too friendly, very different from her mother.

"Um… Hi?" I responded dumbly. Really? That was it? Couldn't I have come up with a more intelligent sounding answer? Clearing my throat, I quickly corrected myself to make myself seem more intelligent. "Um, yes… Is there something you need?"

"Not really." she said as she pulled her face back to stare at the passing scenery, allowing me to breathe normally again. "It's just that it's the first time I heard you speak since we all met. I was just beginning to wonder if you were mute, dumb, or both. Now I can see that you're not mute, just dumb."

What? Excuse me?! That little shit!

"Huh?! What did you say you little brat?!" I instantly hissed while being mindful of Ryota, who was now nursing.

"You heard me, you hag!" Chinatsu spat back hatefully at me while sticking a finger in my face before she scooted closer to where Souji was sitting so she could hug his arm and rub her face affectionately against him. "I can't believe that someone as dumb as you married Souji. I would have obviously made a better wife for him. The only reason he probably married you was because he met you before he met me."

I repeat again: That. Little. Shit. Just who did she think she was?! Wasn't she only like twelve, thirteen, or something like that? What was she thinking, trying to get between me and MY HUSBAND?! Oh, I wanted to stomp her face in.

"Oh? And why would he want you?" I bit back acerbically with a cocky smile forming on my lips. So she wanted to play, did she? I will crush her. "You're just a little twig of a girl. Why would he want you when he can actually have a woman? You know, someone that actually has breasts and nicely flared hips? Oh wait, you wouldn't know since you're a shapeless stick."

Okay, so I was sinking a bit low and I was supposed to be focused on the dreaded moment I was going to be reunited with my birth mother, but that stinking little brat started it! And Souji was absolutely no help at all. All Souji was doing was watching the whole situation unfold with the look of amusement on his face before he let out a snort when he failed to keep all his giggles from erupting out of his mouth. Just what was so funny about this?!

"What was that, you ugly hag?!" Chinatsu cried back all red-faced with bristling hair as she flared her nostrils. "Well… Well… You're short!"

Hah! So that was the best she could come up with?

"So what if I'm short?" I asked her smugly. Ha! I win this round. "It doesn't change the fact that I'm an actual woman, that I was actually able to become the mother of his child."

"You—You—This doesn't mean you win!" the girl quickly spluttered out as soon as she recovered with a good, hardy look of defiance on her face. "I'll be the wi—"

"Now, now, ladies." Souji cut in with a grin on his face as soon as he got over his giggles. "Let's not fight here."

As soon as he interrupted Chinatsu's and my little spat, Souji look of amusement on his face dissolved into a more serious, but gentle expression. He gently pat Chinatsu on the head before he untangled her arms from his own arm.

"Chinatsu-chan, I'm a happily married man and while I know it's acceptable for men right now to have more than one woman, I'm not that type of man." Souji gently explained to the young girl. "Besides, you're still young. You'll come across a man that you will love one day."

"No I won't…" Chinatsu murmured so quietly that her voice was almost lost in the wind as she dropped her gaze to stare at the wooden floor of the cart. "And if I did…it wouldn't matter…"

"Bababo?" Ryota seemed to ask the girl after he finished up nursing, allowing me to absentmindedly remove the towel and straighten out my kimono again.

That…that was an unexpected change of attitude from her. From the way she was speaking so boldly before, I didn't expect her to suddenly become depressed like this. There was obviously something I was missing here and it made me wish that she still remained that defiant girl who was annoying as hell.

The thing was, I actually didn't like Chinatsu the moment I found out that she was my biological mother's daughter. Sure, she was interesting but it didn't stop me from being bitter towards her and resenting her without really trying to know her first. All I knew was that I hated her because my biological mother kept her, because she wasn't left to die like I was, because I was jealous. While it was my own belief to judge people based on their merits, it was difficult to uphold this belief in the face of this situation. I was a hypocrite and I hated myself for it, so I wanted to be able to have other reasons to hate my younger half-sister. I actually preferred it when she got up in my face earlier. It would have given me a legitimate reason to hate her. I could hate her because she was annoying and because she was rude.

"Hm? What's wrong?" Souji asked her when he too noticed her sudden change in attitude. "Do you want to tell Onii-san?"

"Oh!" she exclaimed as she clapped her hands together as she hastily changed the subject and pointed towards the side of the road. "There's my parents and my ototo!"

And that's where my mood fully went down the drain and became almost nonexistent. True to Chinatsu's words, off to the side of the road was another small rest stop and sitting on the bench was my birth mother, her husband and my younger half-brother.

People say that hell would never freeze over, but they were wrong. They were all wrong. It was at this time that hell froze over and engulfed me whole.

"Ah, sorry we're late." Noriko-san said as she greeted the other half of her family with a happy smile. "We got held up by some ronin earlier and I almost feared the worst when they took Chinatsu as a hostage."

"Oh my." Sachiko gasped in concern as she raised her hand to cover her mouth. "I take it everyone came out of the encounter unscathed?"

"Of course!" Norio-san answered gruffly with a snort. "You have eyes, dontcha girl?"

"Right…" Sachiko's husband replied calmly like he was use to Norio-san's gruff retorts, "It's only polite to ask, right? You'd scold us if we didn't ask."

Norio-san merely grumbled in response before he focused on the horse in front of him. I guess the years had only made him less of a people person.

"So, you said you were attacked by ronin but that doesn't explain the few extra people you're now traveling with." the husband said as he quickly looked us over, his eyes lingering on me longer than the others in plain curiosity. "Care to explain what happened and introduce us?"

"Of course, my dear." Noriko-san said before she gestured back to my original traveling party. "This is Itou Kashitaro." she introduced Itou first before she gesture to Souji, me, and Ryota. "And this is the Okita family. There's Okita Souji-san with his wife, Shizuka-san, and his son, Ryota. They're the samurai that disposed of the ronin that were harassing us and since they were heading to Edo too, I thought we could offer them a ride there as a thank you."

"You have my eternal gratitude for protecting my parents-in-law and my daughter." the husband said politely with a bow before he introduced himself. "My name is Kimura Mikio. This is my wife, Sachiko, and this," he said as he pat his young son, who looked to be about five, on the head, "is my son, Ichiro."

"It's a pleasure." Itou said with pleasant smile on his face. "Now shall we all get going? It would be nice if we made it to the inn before nightfall. We can all get to know each other a bit better on the way to Edo."

"Ah, yes. Shall we go, Sachiko?" Mikio-san said good-naturedly before he realized his wife wasn't answering him and had grown pale in fear. "Sachiko? Are you alright?"

No, she wasn't alright. She was staring at me and I was staring right back at her. Unlike her parents, who didn't recognize me, she instantly knew who I was the moment her eyes landed on me. As the saying goes: "A mother always knows." However, the worst thing wasn't that we met each other again. The worst thing was that we recognized each other and we both knew that we both knew who the other person was. It would be impossible to pretend we didn't know each other.

"Ah, don't worry, Sachiko." Mikio-san said with good humor as he rubbed his wife's shoulders when he caught us staring at each other in horror. "I'm sure it's just a coincidence that you and Shizuka-san look alike. She's not a doppelganger that's here for your soul."

"A doppelganger…" Souji muttered to himself under his breath before he snuck a serious glance at me and said in a voice so quiet that no one else besides me could hear, "Not a doppelganger, but perhaps a daughter?"

* * *

"So I said that we would talk later and it is now later." Souji said as he dropped our travel sack down on the floor rather roughly in our private room at the inn.

Our traveling party had indeed managed to arrive at an inn before the sun had fully set for the day, but the whole trip before we arrived at the inn was excruciatingly painful. Sachiko and I had to sit directly in front of each other on the whole ride here. We didn't speak to each other and we didn't even look at each other. We couldn't. It was too painful. It was too difficult. I was sure that everyone else we were riding with also felt was something off. The whole atmosphere was unbearably tense and even icy to a bone chilling degree. Even Ryota, who was still a young baby, could feel that something was off and very wrong. He had sat quietly on my lap the rest of the way to the inn without uttering a single sound and only tried to communicate by silently tugging on Souji's sleeve whenever he got hungry.

"Shizuka." Souji said firmly when I remained silent and as still as a stone, but even then, Souji's stern façade crumbled quickly when Souji witnessed me sink to my knees with tears in my eyes.

I… I couldn't do this anymore. I wanted to run. The trip here with in the presence of that woman was already too much for me to handle. I never wanted to meet her again and she very clearly never wanted to see me again too, so why couldn't that happen? Was it really too much to ask of whatever deity that was in charge? It hurt, it burned and tortured me by twisting my very soul. I wanted out.

"Hananana buv…" Ryota whined on the inn's futon before he crawled over to me as fast as his little limbs could carry him once he saw me collapse to my knees. "Busta bebu…?"

Ryota seemed concerned for me despite how little he could actually understand right now and wanted my tears to stop. He was sweet and it was impossible for me to reject his little attempts to comfort me, so I picked up and set him on my lap before I proceeded to hug him tightly. I wanted to be alone right now to stew in my own dark thoughts of self-loathing and pain, but at the same time, I couldn't bear to be alone right now. I probably seemed beyond the scope of pitifulness right now, but I didn't care. It hurt too much to care about silly little things like appearances right now.

"Shizuka…" I heard Souji mumble before he quickly swooped in and pulled me into a heartwarming hug. "I know it hurts, but you need to talk about it. The pain won't go away if you lock it up. Let me help, please."

"S-Souji…" I said with a pathetic sniffle as I attempted to rub away my tears on Souji's shoulder. "I-It hurts so much right n-now. Why d-did I h-have to see her again. W-Why can't I leave this b-behind me? W-Why do I-I s-still crave her love a-after all these y-years when I-I know I can n-nev—never have it?"

"It's because you're human just like the rest of us." Souji said as his gentle whispered caressed my ear while he rubbed my waist in a circular pattern to soothe me. "It doesn't matter that you're the Higanbana, or how many times you are reborn. You still have emotions and that means you can still feel pain. It will always hurt if you don't learn to let go. You taught me that I should never let a single event define who I am and now it's your turn. Tell me everything. Let me help you."

Souji… He… There really was something called being too perfect…

I let myself let out one more sorrowful sob before I even bothered to attempt to calm myself down. Letting out a few more pitiful sniffles, I raised my still teary face from Souji's shoulder and nodded before I took one more deep breath in an attempt to stop myself from hiccupping.

"I-I… When I was first born into this world again, e-everything w-was still hazy t-to m-me." I started before having to pause to take another deep breath. "I-I couldn't connect m-my adult m-mind to my new body. I d-didn't know w-who I truly was. I was s-so c-confused. W-Was I still the s-same person I was b-before I d-died? Was I a-a different person? B-Because I c-couldn't connect m-myself to my n-new body, I-I didn't really care too much at the m-moment she abandoned me. I-I disapproved of the a-action of a-abandoning a b-baby, but I-I couldn't really connect myself as the one she w-was abandoning."

I paused again to take one more deep breath and to hug Ryota a little bit closer to me before I dared to continue.

"R-Remember that night when I c-came running to you in tears for the first time?" I asked with a sniffle. "L-Like I said before, t-that was the night my mind finally accepted m-my new body for the first time. I-It was the first time I acknowledged that I was abandoned for the first time. It wasn't j-just a baby that was abandoned that n-night, it was me. I hate myself for feeling this way. I didn't originally care that I was the one abandoned, so what right do I have to complain, bitch, and moan when I finally do care? I knew that I was a product of rape and that she never wanted me in the first place. I understand her reasons, but why do I still feel so betrayed? Why can't I just make my sense of abandonment stop haunting me?"

"Because it still hurts." Souji answered as he gently wrapped his arms around me again. "It still hurts because you haven't forgiven her. You're still afraid of not being accepted. This is why you're afraid of disappointing everyone, right? You're afraid of being disposable, but you're not. Don't forget that you do have people who love you and depend on you. It's okay if that woman never loves you. You don't need her love."

"Epa!" Ryota exclaimed from my lap, as if he were saying, "Don't forget about me, Mom! I need you!"

…My sweet boys… They were truly a blessing. I wouldn't know what to do without them. I smiled back at them, abet a bit brokenly, before I leaned back against Souji with Ryota in my arms.

"So, are you okay now?" Souji asked me sweetly as he nuzzled the top of my head affectionately.

"No." I said exhaustedly as I exhaled. "I will probably never forgive that woman for leaving me to die, but I'll be okay. I'll be okay as long as you're here…"

"Epa!" Ryota exclaimed again as he tugged on my kimono, causing me to laugh slightly through my tears.

I may not be okay now, but I will be.

* * *

"Well then, it was a pleasure to travel with you. If you guys ever need anything while you're in Edo, please do not hesitate to come and find us." Mikio-san said as Itou, Souji, and I stepped off the horse-drawn cart and onto the familiar streets of Edo.

"Of course." Itou said pleasantly as he waved the Kimura family goodbye.

We watched the family disappear further down the street before we turned to head to each of our own destinations. The type of tension we had on the whole journey down to Edo was beyond stressful, but thankfully, due to Souji's daily encouragement and Ryota's cheerful chirping, I was able to endure the rest of the trip without any more further breakdowns. Hopefully the rest of the trip and the journey back home wouldn't be as stressful.

"Oh…" Itou said as he shuttered with disgust as soon as the Kimura family disappeared from sight. "I can't believe I spent that whole trip talking to that old hag. She's just too clingy. I can understand now why Norio-san always seems so disgruntled. With a wife like that, it's a miracle that he didn't divorce her yet."

"Aww, no need to say that, Itou-san." Souji said wryly as he took great joy in nettling with Itou. "I thought she was a sweet lady. She only clung onto you because you decided to charm her. She's probably ignored often back at home."

"A mistake I will not be making again." Itou snorted in almost a superior fashion as he turned his nose upwards. "Well, I'll be off now. I take it that you will be going to your brother-in-law's house?"

"I guess you can say that." Souji answered absentmindedly as he focused his attention on everything else that was not Itou.

"I'd like to say that it was a pleasure to travel with you, but that would be a pointless lie that even a brain-dead idiot could see through." Itou said before he turned on his heel and headed his own way.

"Well then, let's get going." Souji said to me as he bent down to briefly peck me on the lips. "I know Ane-ue is just dying to meet you and Ryota."

* * *

So we saw Shizuka's mother again. This won't be the last time we see Sachiko since she will be an essential part of this arc, but the relationship between her and Shizuka will not be the main focus. The main focus of this arc will be on Shizuka's and Chinatsu's relationship. I know I did say this Edo arc would be small, but the outline I made quickly turned into a knotted web of confusion. So truthfully, I don't know how long the arc will turn out to be. I just hope you guys will enjoy it. Again, if anyone has any suggestions, comments, or advice, just leave it in the review's section; or you can message me instead if you want to say something privately.

And a quick special thanks to Haruna. As you can probably tell, I thought the suggestion of Shizuka meeting her mother again was an intriguing one.


	81. Chapter 78

**Trigger warning:** some mentions of domestic abuse and some gore towards the end

* * *

**Chapter 78**

"He always apologized, and sometimes he would even cry because of the bruises he'd made on her arms or legs or her back. He would say that he hated what he'd done, but in the next breath tell her she'd deserved it. That if she'd been more careful, it wouldn't have happened. That if she'd been paying attention or hadn't been so stupid, he wouldn't have lost his temper." ― Nicholas Sparks, _Safe Haven_

Once that Itou disappeared into the crowded streets of Edo, anyone would be able to tell how much of a good mood both Souji and Ryota were in. As Souji snaked one arm around my waist and began hastily ushering me towards our destination, he hummed a small delightful tune while Ryota, who had yet to figure out how to hum, sang along with Souji in his own babyish way as he bounced about in my arms. Nice to know how much Itou was disliked by my family. Now I knew I should definitely should make sure we found a way to ditch Itou so we wouldn't have to travel back to Kyoto together. Another long journey like the one we had to get to Edo would be completely intolerable.

"So are you nervous about meeting Ane-ue in person for the first time?" Souji asked as he finished humming his cheerful tune.

I opened my mouth to answer, but before a single sound could leave my throat, my mouth shut and formed pursed lips as I furrow my brow. Should I be nervous about meeting Souji's older sister for the first time? Honestly, during the whole journey to Edo, I was pretty occupied with what was going on at that current moment. I mean, I met the woman who left me to die again. I didn't have time to think about being nervous. The fact that I was going to meet Souji's older sister for the first time in person actually slipped my mind until now.

"I don't know." I answer truthfully after a few seconds as I looked up at Souji with a hint of disorientation and a flush of red dusting my cheeks. "Should I be? I hear that Ane-ue is quite a formidable woman, so much that even both Otou-san and Hijikata-san are afraid of her."

At my comment, Souji broke out into a loud laugh as his shoulders shook in mirth. I think his eyes were even tearing up a little from how hard he was laughing, but I didn't really understand why he was laughing so hard. Did I say something funny?

"Oh, ow." Souji said as he finally began to stifle his laughter while wiping the tears from his eyes. It took a few more seconds afterwards for him to fully calm down and once he composed himself, well mostly, he shot me a teasing glance accompanied with a wide grin. "I think I laughed so hard that I broke a lung. You think you can fix that, Sensei?"

I huffed at him fictitiously before I playfully swatted him on the shoulder. "Hey! Don't make fun of me!" I whined with a petulant pout before I broke into my own giggles as I decided to play along, "I'm afraid that lung will have to heal on its own!"

"Basabo?" Ryota butt in with a puzzled look on his face, his eyes darting back and forth between mine and Souji's faces. He was probably wondering why his parents were laughing and giggling like maniacs right now.

"Well, Hijikata-san SHOULD be afraid of Ane-ue. She eats men like him for breakfast." Souji joked a little more before becoming serious. "Anyways, in all seriousness, Ane-ue probably gets a bit harsh and threatens when she reminds them to take good care of me because she left me in their care." He then sighed a bit before adding, "It's not like she needs to keep doing that, I'm not a kid anymore."

"But she still can't help but worry about her ototo." I said before smiling warmly back up at him.

Souji let out one more sigh, of defeat this time, before he smiled back at me with a smile of his own and hurriedly pushed me on again once more. "Well, come on. Let's not keep Ane-ue and Ani-ue waiting too long. I know there eagerly waiting for our arrival, especially because of Ryota here."

"Asano be bobo sa!" Ryota chirped once he heard his name and squirmed a bit more in my arms in excitement.

Oh geez. Ryota was so excited and bubbling with energy that I was a tad bit worried that he might work himself up into a fever, but at the same time, it was nice to see Ryota so happy like this. The past few days, Ryota was also a bit mopey with me on the journey because of Itou's presence. However, despite his previous mood, Ryota was now behaving like someone slipped him three shots of some energy drink.

"That's right, Ryota." Souji said as he steered me around the corner once we reached the end of the block. "They want to meet their new nephew. Let's see…we have to turn left at the end of this block before we go straight for the last block to reach where they live."

"So what is their home like?" I asked as I shifted Ryota in my arms a bit to prevent him from slipping out from the large amount of bouncing he was doing.

"It's big." Souji said bluntly and vaguely as he left out all the important details I wanted to know.

"Well, besides that. I got that it was big from the letters that Ane-ue sent me."

"It's big." Souji merely repeated his previous answer, the corners of his lips twitching upwards as he caught the dirty look of annoyance I shot him as we turned left at the end of the block we were on. "I don't really see the point of explaining it to you when we can see it now."

Wait, what? We could see the house already? Letting my eyes follow his finger, I turned my attention from Souji and looked directly in front of us to see what he was pointing at. My jaw must have dropped or I must have made some sort of amusing expression to him because Souji busted his gut as he burst out laughing again. Well, wasn't someone in a good mood today?

The residence we were standing in front of was massive, no, that didn't even cover how big it was. It was a colossal giant. I would have to say it was even a little bigger than the combination of the Yagi compound and the Maekawa compound put together. I could see one long wall surrounding the several buildings within the compound that eventually opened up as it connected to the impressive looking front gate. The whole compound looked as if it were built in the Sukiya-zukuri[1] architectural style. The walls were a pure, muted white color from the plaster that was applied to it as fire prevention, thus making the natural beauty of the wooden beams stand out more. The wood that was used in the building was a majestic, dark coffee color with a unique luster while the roof's slight inward curve was accentuated by its dark blue ceramic tiles that lined the top in its downward slope. The granite stone path that wound in through the front gate was organic in nature, but at the same time carried a refined feel to it. From what I could see, building itself was simple but elegant. If the building itself looked so beautiful, it made me wonder what the inside would look like, especially the garden.

From the outside of the compound I could see the tips of some Japanese black pines poking up from behind the walls along with some stalks of bamboo. I could even hear the trickling sound of water and the occasional clap of a shishi-odoshi[2], signaling to me that they even had a small pond within the compound. Well color me green with envy. While Nishi Hongwanji Temple was a beautiful place to live in, it lack the peaceful tranquility of this place, and not to mention, there was no pond. Oh! I wonder if they have koi living in that pond. I always did love how colorful koi were, especially butterfly koi[3].

While I was stuck with my jaw on the ground as I admired the elegance of the compound, I could not help but wonder: How did Ane-ue and Ani-ue end up living here? This compound clearly stated that people with money lived here. From my own impression, I thought that they would live somewhere less spacious. I mean, Ane-ue left Souji at Shieikan Hall because she could no longer take care of him, which meant they were poor. Did Ani-ue abruptly come into money while Souji was away? I must have made another strange expression while I was puzzling over my thoughts because Souji laughed once more when he peeked at my face.

"Well that's enough gaping for one day." Souji said wryly as he put his hand under my chin to shut my mouth for me. Ah, so my mouth WAS hanging open.

"T-They live here?!" I finally manage to break out of my awe inspired daze as I stuttered my question to Souji. "I-I always assumed they were poor because Ane-ue left you at Shieikan Hall when you were nine!"

"Situations change." Souji said with a carefree shrug before he poked Ryota's cheek lightly, causing Ryota to look up at him.

Much to my surprise, Ryota's mouth was also hanging open. Now, was he as surprised as I was or was he just copying me?

"But to answer your question: they do live here, but they don't own the compound." Souji said before he dove into his explanation. "You know how Ani-ue was once a captain in the Shinchōgumi? This compound actually belongs to Tanuma Okitaka. It was once used as the barracks for the Shinchōgumi. It's just that after the Shinchōgumi was dissolved and the men placed under Sakai Tadasumi, Ani-ue and Ane-ue continued living here with their kids. Same with some of the men."

"Oh." I answered in a quiet brief tone as I turned back to stare at the compound in awe.

The Shinchōgumi, while having been dissolved since 1863, was the brother organization of the Shinsengumi. The Shinchōgumi was actually created when the original Roshigumi split. While Otou-san and the others decided to stay in Kyoto, the rest of the men in the Roshigumi returned to Edo with Kiyokawa to help defend Edo against foreign attacks. The group that returned was given the name Shinchōgumi after Kiyokawa was removed as the leader.

However, while the Shinsengumi grew and rose to fame, or notoriety depending on how one would view it, the Shinchōgumi suffer through what was like a multiple car accident before a the occurrence of a massive earthquake. Once Kiyokawa and the rest of the men returned to Edo, the city began to suffer again. There was placarding of dangerous ideas, threats to burn down Edo and Yokohama, the spread of dark rumors, and seemingly random acts of violence. Some of Edo's suffering was due to the disillusionment of men in Kiyokawa's group, and some other men as they discovered that the Edo leaders did not share Kyoto's newly announced commitment to expel the foreigners. The placards posted all around Edo denounced the Bakufu officials who opposed expulsing the foreigners and complained of other abuses and criminal policies. There were even rumors of a jōi-inspired insurrectionary plot and that Kiyokawa was involved in this plot. On April 13, 1863, just before this rumored plot was supposed to unfold, Kiyokawa was assassinated, at age thirty-four, at night on a street at Akabanebashi, just south of Edo castle. Within hours of Kiyokawa's death, several ronin that were suspected of involvement in the plot were rounded up and imprisoned while the Bakufu increased guard patrols near the barracks of the remainder of Kiyokawa's men. The next morning, the two hundred twenty-seven surviving ronin that had once been under Kiyokawa were given the name Shinchōgumi, given increased stipends, and were transferred to the command of Sakai Tadasumi of Shōnai, who was in charge of keeping the peace in Edo.[4]

Then on May 7, 1863, the indemnity crisis reached its peak and the Bakufu ordered Sakai to deploy the Shinchōgumi to the Shiba coastal strip, where a foreign attack would come if negotiations failed. The unit then consisted of two hundred sixty-seven men, fifty-three of them were from Mito and many others were originally from Shōnai or were former Bakufu retainers. However, despite their deployment, the men never had a chance to prove their worth because war was avoided. The men returned to their billets without seeing the face of battle and it was when they returned safe and sound that they learned that the Bakufu failed to even try to expel the foreigners by force. It was then the basis for the men's cooperation with the regime had vaporized. The only thing that kept the men enrolled in the Shinchōgumi was the need for a stipend.[5]

As the summer passed, the Shinchōgumi became even more agitated, and it was then that the other activists in the city also became more aggressive. Some men were embittered by the betrayal of the jōi while others were critical of the presumably harmful domestic impact of foreign trade. By September 1863, the Bakufu was compelled to take new measures to quiet the trouble brewing in the city. On September 19th, the city guard patrols were intensified and bakufu vassals were prohibited from hiring unidentified people while domain vassals were forbidden to sleep outside their lords' mansions. This was designed to isolate and make the samurai who were no longer under effective domain control vulnerable.[6]

While the Bakufu was trying to improve its control of the city, inflation took control of the market. Due to some certain events in previous years, including a very cold winter, the price of soy sauce and salt, both basic necessities, skyrocketed and disrupted the lives of both commoners and lesser samurai alike. From September onwards, the placards reflected the deteriorating situation. The blame was placed on wholesale merchants and foreign trade. The wholesale merchants and those who indulged in foreign trade were warned that the evil ones would be punished for injuring the people and the land of the gods. During October of the same year, some twenty people were murdered in the city, not counting the others that were attacked or threatened. And the most worrying aspect of this situation was that the keepers of the peace where becoming the breakers of peace. Men of the Shinchōgumi continued to be involved in the violence. Even the new bakufu infantry units were suffering from demoralization and even began to engage in brawls and abuse of civilians.[7]

Then in the late afternoon of November 15th, a fire of unexplained origin erupted inside a room near the Hirakawa gate of Edo castle. The fire rapidly spread and consumed the entire main enceinte, leapt across an immense battlement and moat to the east, and destroyed the second enceinte. While the fire was rumored to have been the work of Choshu radicals trying to stop the Shogun's trip westward, it could as well have been the work of a distraught retainer of the Shogun trying to stop the trip. By the morning of the next day, the fires had stopped burning. The seat of the Shogun's government had been destroyed, the western enceinte was in ruins from previous fires and now the rest of the castle had burned. The government seemed to stop functioning for some time.[8]

However, the government seemed to regain function soon enough. Five days after the castle had burned, the officials got things back into working order. Then two days after that, the Shinchōgumi was completely abolished by dissolving its leadership and assigning its members to officers directly under the command of Sakai Tadasumi.[9]

"Okay, like I said, enough gaping for one day." Souji repeated himself as he gave me a gentle nudge to get me to start following him towards the large compound.

But as we started to approach the compound, Souji actually didn't get to put one foot on the other side of the gate before he was tackled to the ground by two blurry figures. I was so surprised by the sudden event that I couldn't do anything but stare at the two young children on top of Souji.

"Oji-san! You're here!" a young boy around twelve cried in delight as he sat on Souji's stomach.

"I knew Okaa-san was lying when she said you wouldn't arrive until next week!" the next figure, a young girl around ten, squealed next with her arms around Souji's neck.

"She wasn't exactly lying." Souji said, abet a little breathlessly as he made a failed attempt to sit up. "We just managed to hitch a free ride this time. You guys are a lot heavier than before so you might want to get off before my lungs fail on me."

"'We'?" the young boy asked as he clambered off Souji, allowing Souji to sit up with the young girl's arms still wrapped around Souji's neck.

"Yup!" Souji chirped cheerfully as he ruffled the girl's hair. "Look behind you and you'll see your Oba-san and your new cousin."

"What?! No way!" the girl exclaimed bright-eyed as she quickly released Souji to turn around, allowing Souji to finally stand up again. Once the young girl and boy spotted me with Ryota behind them, they quickly scurried up to with large curious eyes.

"Now why don't the both of you introduce yourselves to your Oba-san and your cousin?" Souji said with a merry grin as he placed his hands on their shoulders.

When I briefly caught Souji's eyes, I couldn't stop myself as my lips instantly curled upwards. Souji was certainly well-loved by his niece and nephew and it almost seemed like he was more excited to introduce me to them than they were excited to meet me and Ryota, which was saying something. It was impossible not to be infected by his cheeriness.

"Wait." I jumped in playfully as I regarded both my niece and nephew. "Don't say anything yet, let me guess." I said as I pretended to think hard on who was who. "Hmm… You're Yoshijiro," I gestured to the boy before gesturing to the girl, "and you're Ishi."

"Yup, yup, yup!" Ishi said while jumping around in excitement before she zoomed in on me and Ryota as she stared at her cousin up close. "And that's Ryota, right?"

"Of course that's Ryota." Yoshijiro said as he rolled his eyes at his younger sister. "Who did you think he was, the neighbor's cat?"

"Moh! Onii-san, stop being so mean to me!" Ishi complained without really putting her heart into it as she continued to curiously examine Ryota, causing him to wiggle a bit closer to me. "Look, Onii-san! Ryota looks exactly like a miniature version of Oji-san! He's so cute."

"Woah, that's—" Yoshijiro manage to say before he was interrupted by what appeared to be a roar of anger coming from within the compound.

"Yoshijiro! Ishi! Where did the two of you go!? If I find out that you're ditching your chores again then I swear that praying to the gods for mercy won't be enough for me to spare you two an hour of discipline!"

"Uh-oh." Yoshijiro nearly whimpered as he whispered to his younger sister. "Okaa-san found out that we ditched our chores."

Both siblings seemed to look at each other a bit longer, passing along dozens of hidden messages before both turned to Souji with puppy eyes.

"Please?" they both pleaded with Souji at the same time.

Souji sighed tiredly, or at least he would have if it weren't for that impish smile plastered on his face, before he stuck his head through the front gate and called out, "No, they weren't ditching their chores. They just came to greet us."

It wasn't long before we heard a happy gasp of surprise followed by rapid footsteps quickly approaching our position outside the gate.

"Souji!" I heard Ane-ue exclaim before I saw her run up to Souji to give him a quick hug and a peck on the cheek. Once she released him from the hug, she quickly cupped Souji's face and looked him over for anything that might signal poor health to her. "How have you've been? You look like you're in good health. It looks like Kondou-san and Hijikata have been taking good care of you after all. I wasn't expecting to arrive so soon."

"Kondou-san has, but Hijikata-san, not so much." Souji commented impishly with a sly grin as he gently grabbed Ane-ue's hands so he could free his face. "But if anyone has been taking care of me then I would say that it would be Shizuka."

At the mention of my name, Ane-ue seemed to vibrate excitedly in place before she spun around to observe me with a critical eye. She might have said that she liked me in her letters, but this was the first time we were meeting in person. She wanted to examine me to make sure she was sound in judgement with her original statement and that I was good enough for her baby brother.

While Ane-ue was carefully examining me, I was wasting no time and examined her as well. From what I could tell, Ane-ue was a very shrewd woman. It looked like she could think a mile per a minute and wasn't someone that was easily lied to. She was also a rather pretty woman too. While she was about a head shorter than Souji, she was still several inches taller than me. Despite having black hair over the brown hair with a twinge of red that Souji had, she was still similar to Souji in many ways. She shared the same green eyes as Souji and from the way she was looking at me, I could tell she also shared that same sharp smile that Souji had. There must have been something in the Okita siblings' genes that gave them something of a wild feel.

Well, whatever Ane-ue came to conclude about me must have been good because when she was done observing me, she gave a friendly smile of approval before mentioning offhandedly, "You're shorter than I expected." Of course she just had to say that, it wouldn't be a proper welcome if she didn't say anything about my height.

"And this must be Ryota." Ane-ue cooed at Ryota in excitement before she clapped her hands at him and opened her arms up wide as a way to ask to hold him. "You look just like your Otou-san."

"Babo?" Ryota seemed to look at his aunt with puzzlement before he looked at me again as if to ask what was going on.

"That's your Oba-san." I cooed at Ryota as a short explanation before I deposited him in his aunt's arms.

"Hooo. Baba bo to ma!" Ryota babbled while looking back at me before focusing his attention back onto his father in a questioning gaze, causing Ane-ue to giggle mirthfully at the reaction.

"Well, it's finally great to be able to meet you in person, Imoto-chan." Ane-ue greeted me cheerfully and affectionately before she turned to nuzzle Ryota's cheek. "You too, Ryota-chan! Why don't we go in now? We've lingered outside long enough. Yoshijiro, Ishi, why don't you take their belongings to the room they'll be staying in before you two join us in the living area." she said happily before the expression on her face instantly turn a full circle and became darker and scarier than Hijikata-san could ever hope to force his face to be. "And don't you forget for a moment that I know you two ditched your chores earlier. Both of you will receive your punishment later."

"Eep!" both Ishi and Yoshijiro squeaked and said, "Yes, Okaa-san!" before they took the luggage from Souji and quickly disappeared into the compound.

"Well, aren't you just as scary as ever." Souji commented without skipping a beat as he looped his arm around me again and ushered me forwards as he began following his older sister into the compound. "So how have you been and where's Kuma?"

"I've been doing as well as one could get, and as for Kuma, she's taking a nap in the living area right now, so it'll be a good idea to be quiet." Ane-ue said as she led us to a room within one of the buildings in the compound and as soon as we entered the room, Souji's face instantly brightened up as he eyed his youngest niece, who was only a few months younger than Ryota, asleep on a small makeshift futon on the floor. "And it was quite rude of you to call me scary. Right, Ryota?"

"Ohhh?" Ryota merely replied without really paying attention as he started to wave at Souji in an attempt to get his father's attention, but ultimately failed, causing him to brood unhappily in his aunt's arms.

I giggled at Ryota's brooding expression before I took a seat next to Souji and directly across from little sleeping Kuma. She was a cute baby and just the sight of her napping made me want to scoop her up and snuggle with her. Now I really wanted to have another as soon as possible.

"So how is everything?" Ane-ue asked as she vibrated in her seat while she leaned forwards towards us. "Tell me everything! Oh, but before we start, are you two hungry? I just finished baking some Castella[10] a bit earlier."

"Oh! Castella?" I said as I instantly perked up. I wanted some cake!

* * *

Oh... What was that? Feeling distinctly uncomfortable as the sensation of tiny hands and knees shimmied up the narrow space between me and Souji as we slept on the futon, I stirred from my sleep and opened one eye to see the source of this discomfort. Ryota, who was supposed to still be asleep on his own futon, was wide awake despite the early hour and was now crawling up the space between me and Souji while looking positively thrilled that I was now awake.

"Ryota?" I whispered quietly to avoid waking Souji, who was still sleeping like the dead.

After becoming a father, Souji had to learn how to sleep through many things, especially loud noises that were unimportant. After all, if Souji still woke up to every little sound that Ryota made then Souji would never get any sleep at all.

"What are you doing up already? Hungry?" I cooed at my son.

"Ebo po." Ryota said loudly, completely disregarding his sleeping father as he continue to crawl up the narrow space between me and Souji.

Despite Ryota speaking so loudly, Souji continued snoring away. Souji was normally a light sleeper, but lately, it would always take something akin to an earthquake to wake him up when he finally got to sleep. Being a working father was very energy consuming. He more than often slept like the dead.

As Ryota continued to crawl up the space between me and Souji, he quickly reached where our stomachs were and just like the uncoordinated baby he was, he carelessly dug one of his knees into Souji's stomach. Okay, so Souji didn't always need something akin to an earthquake to wake up when he was this tired. Apparently, a knee to the stomach was enough to wake him up. But then again, that should be true for everyone and if not, then I would question if that person really slept like the dead or was actually dead. Feeling the knee dig into his stomach, Souji instantly woke up and shot into sitting position in alarm before looking around the room in confusion. When he realized Ryota's futon was empty, he irately looked down to see his son staring up at him in surprise.

"Ryota." Souji groaned tiredly before he limply flopped back onto the futon, as if he were suddenly drained of all his energy. "It's too early for this. Why do you have to be such an early riser like your okaa-san?"

"Ebu ebu ebi." Ryota babbled in a response to Souji before he continued crawling merrily towards his destination.

I rolled onto my side so I could better watch Ryota make his way up and once he got to where my chest was, he stopped crawling and looked at me with an illustrious grin, like he was proud of his accomplishment.

"Oh? Just what are you thinking about with that proud grin on your face?" I asked Ryota as I smiled softly back at him.

"'Proud grin'?" Souji grunted as he briefly glanced at Ryota through the corner of his eye in annoyance. "What is there to be proud of? It would have been so much better if he managed to get up here without waking me up."

"Enabo!" Ryota exclaimed happily without a care in the world as he ignored his father's unhappy expression while staring at me expectantly as he waited for me to speak to him again.

I giggled at the face Ryota made. It was at these times I found it impossible to scold him. I should have scolded him for waking up his father, but how could I with that adorable face he had? I'm sure I could get away with not scolding him this time, after all, it's not like he woke up his father on purpose.

"Well good morning to you too." I answered Ryota buoyantly. "Aren't you upbeat this morning?"

"Ebpo!" Ryota cheered happily before he went ahead and dropped his face on one of my breasts…

Well wasn't he direct? He clearly wanted to nurse, but the way he went about showing it… He was definitely Souji's son for sure. Back at Shieikan Hall, before Souji and I were married, Souji especially liked to shove his face against my chest, though for completely different reasons. Of course, back then, I didn't really understand at the moment why Souji liked doing it so much. My, how time had changed.

"Really, Ryota?" Souji snorted in amusement as he rolled onto his side to face me and his son. "I get that you're hungry, but only I should be allowed to do that. Besides, doesn't your okaa-san have to sit up to nurse you?" Souji added as he threw an arm over my waist and said childishly, "I don't want your okaa-san to get up right now. She needs to stay in bed with me."

Ryota didn't really answer Souji and just whined instead before he raised his face to look at me with big eyes, causing me to smile at him as I gently rubbed his back.

"Alright, Ryota." I answered before I lightly pecked his forehead and loosened by sleeping robe without getting up. Ryota's face instantly lightened up as he laid down next to me so he could snuggle up against me while he happily nursed. "See?" I said to Souji after Ryota got comfortable. "I don't necessarily have to get up to nurse Ryota."

"So I see." Souji said with satisfied grin as he removed his hand from my hip so he could gently rub Ryota on the back as Ryota nursed. "How much longer do you think Ryota will be nursing?"

"Probably about eight more months before he's fully weaned." I answered while I watched Ryota as he wiggled closer to me.

"Hmm…" Souji said as he processed what I said and as it looked like he was about to say something else, he seemed to develop a wicked grin on his face.

"What is it?"

"Shh." Souji hushed me as he brought a single finger to his lip before the grin on his face grew. "Do you hear that?"

Hear what? Growing quiet so I could focus on whatever sound Souji was hearing, I noticed the sound of muffled footsteps along with some rustling of cloth coming from the other side of a wonderfully painted fusuma[11].

"Do you think Oji-san and Oba-san are awake yet?" came a barely audible whisper from behind the doors.

"Of course, Ishi. Remember, last time Oji-san came to visit us, he was always up earlier than us and said that he had to wake up early every day. Oji-san also said that Oba-san always woke up earlier than him."

"Yeah, but that's when Oji-san had to work. Oji-san doesn't have to work right now, so doesn't it make sense that he would sleep in right now?"

"Oh? And what are you two whispering about so early in the morning?" a new voice interrupted the first two voices with a certain amount of strictness. "I hope you two weren't thinking of disturbing your Oji-san and Oba-san?"

"Err…we...um… No, Okaa-san." the first two voices chirped in response while sounding just a tad bit guilty.

"Good then. Now Ishi, I want you to go to the kitchen to start chopping up the ingredients for today's breakfast. Yoshijiro, I want you to run out to where we store the firewood to bring some in for the stove so your Otou-san doesn't have to do it. I need him to watch Kuma and to rest a bit longer before he has to go off to work today."

"Yes, Okaa-san." the first two voices answered obediently before the scurrying of footsteps signaled that the owners of the voices scampered off to complete their tasks.

"Well, looks like their all early risers too." I commented to Souji.

"Yup." Souji said with a grin before he called out in the direction of the door, "Ane-ue, I know you're still there. What do you need?"

"Hmm…" Ane-ue hummed before she opened the door and slipped in before shutting the door once more. "I wasn't going to ask for anything, but since you asked…"

Souji quirked up a curious eyebrow at her when she allowed her sentence to drift off playfully, but Ane-ue just merely smiled back slyly at Souji before she focused her attention onto me.

"So you didn't feel like getting up or did Souji ask that you stay in bed with him?" she asked with that sharp grin of hers.

"A bit of both." I answered honestly as I lifted my head up slightly so I could look at her as I answered her question in a lax manner.

"I figured as much." she answered as she placed her hands on her hips while her grin continued to grow in size. "So, I was wondering if you wanted to help me cook breakfast after you're done nursing Ryota. We could use this time to have some private girls' time."

"No." Souji said bluntly as he answered for me lazily and he threw his arms over my waist again. "I rarely get to lounge around in bed with Shizuka in the mornings anymore. This is my time."

"Well, you'll have more time with Shizuka a little later." Ane-ue said as she frowned at Souji with narrowing eyes. "I want to get to know my imoto a little better now."

"Mine." Souji said as his simple retort, not willing to give me up this morning, even to his beloved older sister.

"Oh, is that so." Ane-ue replied, looking uninterested as she examined her nails. "And here I wanted to take the time to teach her how to bake a Castella, but if Sou-chan doesn't want to let Shizuka go…"

"Wait! Castella?" Souji exclaimed as he shot up into sitting position in less than half a second. "Oh, I suppose I can have Shizuka to myself later."

Hook, line, and sinker. Souji fell for that so fast that it wasn't even funny. Souji, who apparently never ate Castella before yesterday, quickly fell in love with the confection as soon as the first crumb made it onto his tongue. Of course, since I didn't know how to make Castella, I had never made any for Souji before. In his mind, if I learned how to bake Castella then I could bake it anytime for him. A small sacrifice for a great gain, a good deal in his own little world.

"Great!" Ane-ue said incredibly smugly before she turned to me with a cheerful smile. "Come find me in the kitchen when you're done feeding Ryota."

"Alright." I replied with a slight giggle as I watched Ane-ue slip out the door with a small bounce in her step.

Once Ane-ue left the room, I focused my attention back onto Souji. Little to no surprise, Souji was so giddy with glee that he almost seemed to vibrate in place. Ah, the excitement of a sweets lover. When Souji saw me staring at him with a slightly exasperated look, he just grinned back at me wordlessly before he placed a quick kiss on my lips and jumped out of bed so he could get dressed.

"Excited much?" I commented in amusement as I stopped supporting Ryota's back as he finished nursing. When I was sure that Ryota was done nursing, I quickly cleaned up before I sat up on the futon.

Ryota, who was now rather happy now that he had his fill, wasted no time sitting up before using my arm to pull himself up into standing position. Once he was standing, Ryota seemed to chirp proudly as he took a few wobbly steps before he landed on his butt again. He seemed to babble in frustration before he tried again, each attempt only getting him one to three steps closer to his dad.

"I'd say not nearly excited enough." Souji replied just as he finished tying his brown upper layer shut.

When finished, he quickly swooped in to help support Ryota just as Ryota was about to fall on his butt again. Ryota giggled excitedly once he had his father's support and tightly held on to Souji's fingers as Souji slowly led him out the room.

"Come on, Ryota. Let's give Okaa-san some time with Oba-san so that Okaa-san can learn how to make a Castella." Souji cheered as he helped Ryota toddle out of the room.

"Babo!" Ryota exclaimed, seeming to share Souji's intoxicating cheerfulness.

* * *

Of course, despite Ane-ue telling Souji that she was going to teach me how to bake a Castella first thing in the morning, she didn't actually start teaching me while we were cooking breakfast. Learning how to bake a Castella had to wait because, other than being busy with breakfast, we didn't have enough eggs or honey left in the kitchen. So after we were done with breakfast and after Ani-ue left for work, Ane-ue left the kids in Souji's care while she headed off with me to the marketplace to purchase what we needed.

"So how come we're leaving the kids back at home with Souji?" I asked curiously. In this era, when a child was twelve, like Yoshijiro, then he was old enough to be left alone and was responsible enough to care for other younger children when all the adults were out.

"It's because it's dangerous for children in Edo right now and I don't want any of them getting snatched up while we're at the market." Ane-ue answered me in a hushed voice, like she was afraid that she would be targeted if an unwanted stranger heard her talking about this subject. "For the past month, children ages nine to thirteen have been disappearing only to have their fresh corpse found about three weeks later hanging from the roof of some random business with a rope tied around the neck and with a limb chopped off, the limb always left lying on the floor beneath them."

"What?!" I exclaimed in a loud horror-filled whisper. Children? Some sick bastard was doing this to children?

Ane-ue nodded at me while looking grim before continuing. "The thing is, all the children that have gone missing were children of rich merchants that have profited from trade with the foreigners. This is why everyone thinks that it's the work of a spiteful ronin or of a ronin group. You must have already noticed how busy Rintarō has been despite only being here for one day. Tadasumi-san has had Rintarō and several other men trying to solve the murders for the past several weeks, but no luck so far. There have been four victims so far and there is currently one child missing right now. She disappeared about three weeks ago so her corpse is probably going to turn up soon. I personally think that the authorities are searching for the murderer in the wrong place. I think that children that have been murdered were not killed because their parents were merchants that associated themselves with foreigners, but because they lived in the same general area. All the children that disappeared all lived within a short walking distance of each other."

"That's sickening." I said while turning a little green. While Kyoto was far from safe, it was far safer for Ryota than Edo was for him right now. "Then what about Tsune-san and Tamako-chan? Do you know how they are?"

"They should be fine." Ane-ue said as we approached the market. "They live on the other side of town near where all the farms are. Things are still relatively peaceful there and they visit a market that is closer to their home. The murders are only occurring on our side of town and only in our market on this side. Ah! There's a jar of honey and it's the last one too! Quick, grab it before anyone else grabs it, Shizuka!"

"Huh? Oh!" I said as I quickly went to snatch up the last jar at a stand while I was still a bit startled by the sudden subject change. As I snatched up the last jar, another, smaller hand, swiped at the jar too, but missed as I ended up as the one picking up the jar.

"What? Hey!" a familiar and annoying voice echoed in my ear.

Don't tell me that the hand belonged to… Just my luck, despite hoping that it didn't, the hand appeared to belong to Chinatsu.

"Oh, it's you." Chinatsu said with complete and total lackluster when she realized it was me. "I saw that jar first, so it's mine."

"I don't think you can legitimately claim that you saw the jar first since there'll be no way to prove it." I commented dryly as I gave her the stink eye. "On the other hand, I can prove that I got to it first since it IS in my hands."

"Well that doesn't mean any—" Chinatsu began her retort only to be interrupted by Ane-ue running up to me.

"Shizuka, did you get the honey…? Hmm? Who's this?" Ane-ue asked with curiousity when she noticed Chinatsu standing next to me with a pout.

"Oh nevermind…" Chinatsu grumbled as she gave up on her quarry and turned to leave, but it was at this moment the sleeve of her kimono slipped upwards a little bit and revealed something that made my hand shoot out to gently, but firmly grab her wrist. It was a hand shaped bruise.

"What happened?" I asked gently as I examined the injury, despite my resentment towards her.

As the kimono sleeve slipped downwards, it revealed several other fresh bruises. All of them rather large and ugly in color. It was the telltale sign of abuse, which I didn't understand. I knew that her family, my estranged family, wasn't the direct cause of the bruising. My biological grandparents would sometimes be stern, but they would never raise a hand towards a family member. My biological mother, despite me hating her, I knew she could never abuse someone she actually loved. She was too soft. As for Chinatsu's father, I doubted that the abuse came from him. He clearly loved his children as he spent the whole trip goofing off with them. Plus, Chinatsu never showed a hint of fear when she was with him.

"It's none of your business!" Chinatsu mutter forcefully as she quickly snatched her wrist away.

No, I couldn't just let her walk away. I may have resented her, but I would have never wished abuse on her. I had seen the result of domestic violence in my past life in the emergency room. It was horrendous and never excusable. Whoever inflicted this damage on Chinatsu needed to be stopped and punished.

Before I could retort, I heard my biological mother call for Chinatsu. When Chinatsu heard her mother call her, she quickly pulled down her sleeve to cover the bruises, thus signaling to me and Ane-ue that Chinatsu's mother didn't know about the bruises, that Chinatsu was hiding them.

"There you are, Chinatsu." Sachiko said as she breathed a sigh of relief when she found the daughter that she kept and loved. "Don't run off like that. You know how dangerous it is now—"

This was when Sachiko noticed me for the first time. Despite being separated for so many years, our reactions to each other was exactly the same. We both froze in horror as we stared at each other.

"Haha-ue?" Chinatsu questioned her mother when her mother did not move.

"Shizuka?" Ane-ue did the same as Chinatsu, but only with me.

But even with our loved ones calling us, we did not snap out of our frozen horror and it was then, only the scream of several civilians snapped us of out of our horror induced freeze. Hanging from the roof of a nearby stationary shop was the corpse of an eleven year old girl with her left leg cleanly severed and left on the ground below. However, there was something new with this corpse this time. There was a deep laceration on the corpse's neck. So deep, in fact, that the miniscule amount of flesh attaching the body to the head was not enough to support the body's weight. Sachiko fainted as the corpse's body detached from the head and landed on top of the severed leg below.

* * *

[1] Sukiya-zukuri (数寄屋造り) is one type of Japanese residential architectural style. Suki means refined, well cultivated taste and delight in elegant pursuits and refers to enjoyment of the exquisitely performed tea ceremony. The word originally denoted a building in which tea ceremony was done (known as a chashitsu) and was associated with ikebana flower arranging, and other Japanese traditional arts. It has come to indicate a style of designing public facilities and private homes based on tea house aesthetics. It is characterized by a use of natural materials.

[2] Shishi-odoshi (鹿威し lit. means "deer scarer" in Japanese). In a wide sense, it refers to Japanese devices made to scare away birds and beasts damaging agriculture, such as the kakashi (scarecrow), naruko (clappers) and sōzu. In a narrower sense, it is synonymous with sōzu. Sōzu is a type of water fountain used in Japanese gardens. It consists of a segmented tube, usually of bamboo, pivoted to one side of its balance point. At rest, its heavier end is down and resting against a rock. A trickle of water into the upper end of the tube accumulates and eventually moves the tube's centre of gravity past the pivot, causing the tube to rotate and dump out the water. The heavier end then falls back against the rock, making a sharp sound, and the cycle repeats. This noise is intended to startle any herbivores such as deer or boars which may be grazing on the plants in the garden.

[3] Butterfly koi, longfin koi, or dragon carp are a type of ornamental fish notable for their elongated finnage. The fish are a breed of the common carp, Cyprinus carpio, which includes numerous wild carp races as well as domesticated koi ("Nishikigoi").

[4] Totman, Conrad D. _The Collapse of the Tokugawa Bakufu: 1862-1868_. N.p.: Hawaii Press, 1980. 93. Print.

[5] Totman, Conrad D. _The Collapse of the Tokugawa Bakufu: 1862-1868_. N.p.: Hawaii Press, 1980. 93. Print.

[6] Totman, Conrad D. _The Collapse of the Tokugawa Bakufu: 1862-1868_. N.p.: Hawaii Press, 1980. 93-94. Print.

[7] Totman, Conrad D. _The Collapse of the Tokugawa Bakufu: 1862-1868_. N.p.: Hawaii Press, 1980. 94. Print.

[8] Totman, Conrad D. _The Collapse of the Tokugawa Bakufu: 1862-1868_. N.p.: Hawaii Press, 1980. 95. Print.

[9] Totman, Conrad D. _The Collapse of the Tokugawa Bakufu: 1862-1868_. N.p.: Hawaii Press, 1980. 95-96. Print.

[10] Castella (カステラ Kasutera) is a popular Japanese sponge cake made of sugar, flour, eggs, and starch syrup. Now a specialty of Nagasaki, the cake was brought to Japan by Portuguese merchants in the 16th century. The name is derived from Portuguese Pão de Castela, meaning "bread from Castile". Castella cake is usually sold in long boxes, with the cake inside being approximately 27 cm long. It is somewhat similar to Madeira cake, also associated with Portugal, but its closest relative is pão-de-ló, also a Portuguese cake.

[11] In Japanese architecture, fusuma (襖) are vertical rectangular panels which can slide from side to side to redefine spaces within a room, or act as doors. They typically measure about 90 centimetres (3.0 ft) wide by 1.8 metres (5'11") tall, the same size as a tatami mat, and are two or three centimeters thick. Historically, fusuma were painted, often with scenes from nature such as mountains, forests or animals. Today, many feature plain rice paper, or have industrially printed graphics of fans, autumn leaves, cherry blossom, trees, or geometric graphics. Patterns for children featuring popular characters can also be purchased.


	82. Chapter 79

**Trigger warning: **gore

* * *

**Chapter 79**

"The 3 types of terror: The Gross-out: the sight of a severed head tumbling down a flight of stairs, it's when the lights go out and something green and slimy splatters against your arm. The Horror: the unnatural, spiders the size of bears, the dead waking up and walking around, it's when the lights go out and something with claws grabs you by the arm. And the last and worse one: Terror, when you come home and notice everything you own had been taken away and replaced by an exact substitute. It's when the lights go out and you feel something behind you, you hear it, you feel its breath against your ear, but when you turn around, there's nothing there..." ― Stephen King

"Shit." Ane-ue muttered just barely loud enough for me to hear. "The work just never ends, does it?"

Her eyebrows pulled down together and the thin line formed from her lips pulled tautly together revealed that she was…less than pleased with the situation, in lighter terms. She was different from the other women in the market. Whereas the other women screamed in fright and even fainted, like Sachiko, Ane-ue only seemed to grow dark and angry, and even a bit annoyed when her eyes landed on the corpse of the young girl. She was made of steel, someone that seemed common enough but was tough and sturdy. It would take more than the decapitated corpse of a young child to make her freeze. I, on the other hand, appeared not to be as tough as her.

"Shizuka." Ane-ue called me out firmly while clapping in front of my face to snap out of a strange daze that seeing my biological mother and a child's corpse had put me in. "I need you to run back over to the compound my house is in and go to the main part of the compound to where the barracks is to fetch Rintarō. He and his colleagues need to add this to their investigation. I'll stay here and clear the people out of the market. Understand, Shizuka?"

"I-I, what?" I stuttered while looking at her with a slated over expression as a mask to hide my true reaction to the corpse.

I had always liked to consider myself someone who was fairly tough, but even this had to affect me. How was it that she seemed so unaffected by this? I was a trauma surgeon in my past life, so it would have made sense if the grotesque failed to entice a reaction out of me, but even this was a bit much for me. It was a decapitated child, for God's sake! I had seen some horrific injuries in people of all ages before. Some were horrendous enough to make the people with the strongest stomachs lose their meals, but at least the injuries I dealt with were with people that were still alive. It was true that the horrendous injuries would be painful, but that was because the injured was still ALIVE to could feel the pain. They were people that still stood a chance. But this girl, she was dead. It was too late for her. She was still so young, so small. I could even still see her bright eyes in my mind, so fresh and naïve about the world. She hadn't even really had the chance to live yet and she was dead. It boggles one's mind over how someone could do this to a child and it terrified me. What if the next child to become a victim was someone I treasured? What if it was Tamako-chan, Ishi, Yoshijiro, or God forbid, Ryota or Kuma? The murderer needed to be brought to justice. The murderer deserved to burn in hell.

"Shizuka." Ane-ue said again as she grabbed both of my shoulders so she could look me in the eyes with a firm gaze when I remained unmoving. "I know this is difficult to take in, especially now that you are a new mother, but this is not the time for panic and fear. We cannot let this murderer win by allowing ourselves to fall into fear and panic, this is not the time. I need you to follow my instructions. Can you do that?"

Right. This was not the time to freeze up like this. What was I doing? I needed to compartmentalize my own feelings to be able to focus on the task. I could lose my shit over this on my own time.

With my mind back in focus, I nodded briefly at Ane-ue to let her know I got her message before I bolted back towards the compound. Ane-ue seemed to know exactly what she was doing and it seemed like this was not the first time she had to do this. I'm sure that she could handle clearing the civilians out of the market without my help.

* * *

It didn't take long for me to skid to a stop in front of the compound, or at least I think. I still ran pretty slowly, but I would have to say that this was the fastest I ever ran anywhere so the time can't be too bad, right? Now where was the barracks? Ane-ue did say it was deeper in the compound, but she didn't say where. In this large maze of structures it'd be kind of difficult to guess which part of the compound the barracks would be located in. There were large, intimidating buildings to my right, across from the courtyard. To my left, there was the building that Ane-ue and her family stayed in as well as another maze of buildings right behind it. Ane-ue did say to go past the house we were living it, right? Well, there was no point in wasting time here just wondering where to look. Time would be better spent if I actually started to look for it.

Fortunately, I didn't have to actually wander about the large complex like a confused vagrant. Just as I dashed past Ane-ue's and Ani-ue's home, I had to stop and do a double-take into a room with an open door. Inside, at the center of the room, a group of men were surrounding a table with stacks of paper tossed haphazardly across the tabletop. It was Ani-ue, Souji, and even Itou. Interesting, what was Ani-ue doing back here? I thought he was at work and, even more so, why was Itou here? I thought Itou would spend his time in Edo as far away from the Okita family as possible.

"Hmm? Shizuka, what are you doing here?" Souji asked as he peered over Itou's shoulder to look directly at me with a questioning look. "I thought you went to the market with Ane-ue."

"I did, but…" I let myself drift off as I quickly allowed my eyes to flicker over to the other men as a silent question for Souji.

"You've heard about the murders now, right?" Souji asked me before diving head first into a quick explanation when he saw my shallow nod. "Apparently, since Itou-san and I are here in Edo for some time, the Bakufu wants to make use of us here."

"And the kids…?" I questioned. Where were they? It was a bit too quiet.

"They're behind you, my dear. Since Okita-san had to watch the children, we decided to move the meeting here so he could participate in the meeting and watch the children at the same time." Itou said before he turned his attention back to the papers on the desk.

My dear? Ugh, I use to not mind when Itou called me that, but now… Itou could go screw himself. But like Itou said, when I turned around, the kids were indeed sitting on the tatami mats behind me. They were sitting near the corner of the room, as they entertained themselves. Both Kuma and Ryota seemed to be sitting directly across from each other while staring at each other silently in some sort of strange staring contest. The two older ones, Yoshijiro and Ishi, seemed to be sitting behind the two babies while quietly whispering to each other while sneaking a peek at the two infants every few seconds. What were they…? Were those two placing bets? On what? Whatever. I'd worry about that later.

"What are you doing back so soon anyways?" Ani-ue asked with a warm voice as he lifted his eyes onto me for a brief moment. "I thought you went with Mitsu to the market. Did something happen?"

"The corpse of a little girl was found hanging from the roof of a business inside the marketplace. Ane-ue sent me to go find you while she cleared out the market.—"

"Dammit! Another one?!" Ani-ue growled in frustration, all warmth leaving his voice, as he curled his hands up into a fist so he could bang it on the table. This was the most agitated I had ever seen him. Unsurprising since two of his own kids were around the same age as the kids that were murdered.

"So I see." Itou commented as he removed his gaze from the paperwork again to focus on me once more before he gave us his suggestion. "Well, I guess this changes plans. Shizuka-san will lead Rintarō-san and I to the new body so we can conduct a thorough investigation. Okita-san will stay here and watch the children while we're away."

Itou-san was going to have someone stay here to watch the kids instead of focusing all the manpower on the investigation right now? That was…something I didn't expect from him. I had always seen Itou as someone who was always driven. He knew exactly what he wanted and he would always know how to get what he wanted. He was someone who wouldn't mind doing the underhanded to reach his goal. He was the type of man that was sly and always did what needed to be done without flinching. As part of the Shinsengumi and occupying one of the topmost positions, it would make sense that Itou would want to solve this homicide so he could take credit, so he could become more politically important. In order to make use of all the manpower at his disposal, I expected Itou to have everyone go down to the site of where the body was discovered. I expected him to just leave the kids by themselves despite knowing there was a dangerous murderer on the loose with his main targets set as children. It was either that Itou cared more than I expected or he was trying to win someone's approval, and I was getting the feeling it was not the second reason. Itou actually cared that it was children that were being murdered. I may have disliked Itou now for the way he treated Ryota before, but that didn't mean Itou was heartless. Dead children bothered him too despite his grave dislike for the parents that were fraternizing with the foreigner enemies.

"Wait, I'm staying here to watch the kids?" Souji instantly protested to Itou's suggestion while eyeing me through the corner of his eyes, envy masking over his concern. "Shouldn't it be a woman that stays and watches the kids? Besides, the Bakufu had me and Itou-san assigned to help with this investigation, not Shizuka and Itou-san."

"Ah, yes. But you see, Shizuka-san is the one that knows where the body is." Itou explained logically while puffing himself up to make himself look more superior than everyone else in the room. "And with the murderer going after children, I can't imagine that it would be a good idea to leave the children by themselves. Best leave the children with someone that is an accomplished swordsman."

Itou had a point there and even though Souji very clearly did not like Itou, Souji could still see the truth in Itou's words. Souji spent the first few seconds frowning with displeasure at Itou and Ani-ue before he turned to me to give me a childish, pouty frown. Souji was unhappy that I was going instead of him, but even he could admit that Itou had a very good point.

"We've lingered here long enough. Let us go now." Ani-ue finally said after looking at the papers spread across the tabletop one last time. He quickly swept out of the room with Itou following after him shortly.

Instead of quickly following after the two men that just exited the room, I stayed planted in place as I wrapped my arms around myself and with my eyes on Ryota. I needed to take another deep breath before I could go after the men and show them were the murder victim was. This whole case was unsettling and never had there been something that this that bothered and scared me this much. I needed to take a breather before I resumed my task. There would have been better times to take the breather, but I needed it now.

Before long, I heard Souji sigh before he came up behind me and placed a gentle hand up against my lower back. "What's wrong?" he asked as he began rubbing my back in a circular motion. "You know they're waiting on you by the gate."

"I… It's just…" I floundered about trying to find the right words to say before I gave up on trying to speak and just decided to let my actions speak for me. I took a few steps forward before I sat down and pulled Ryota onto my lap so I could hug him tightly, drawing a little squeak of protest from Ryota as I did so.

A part of me wondered if how I was feeling was something that made me weak and unfit to be involved in this homicide case. I would have probably been better for this case before I became a mother. Now that I was a mother, I was afraid. I had never in my life ever been so afraid and it was for my own child. The murderer was after children and I was scared because Ryota could easily become one of the victims. What if I wasn't good enough to protect my son? It should have been an unfounded fear since I knew Souji would be here to watch Ryota and Souji was impossible to get pass, but there was always this small voice in the back of my head haunting me and whispering poisonous words to me. "You're not good enough. Souji's not good enough. Remember the first child you lost? It was because both of you weren't good enough." Each time those words echoed through my head, it felt like another stone was placed on my chest, crushing my breath out of my air-starved lungs.

"Shizuka, not so tightly. Ryota doesn't seem too happy with your surprise hug." Souji said with a tender softness as he pried my arms open a bit so I would loosen my hold on Ryota, but still allowed my arms around him.

Ryota seemed to agree with his father's statement and squirmed in my arms before he thought it would be a good idea to nip my finger. Souji and I probably should have scolded him for that since biting was a big no-no, but I couldn't bring myself to and Souji didn't bother saying anything.

"Esabo!" Ryota protested when his little nip failed and wiggled some more.

"Shizuka, don't worry about things here." Souji said as he knelt down next to me. "I'm not pleased that I have to remain behind, but I'll be here with the kids. They'll be fine."

"Yeah!" Yoshijiro jumped in with bountiful energy. "Everyone will be fine with Oji-san here to watch us, especially when I'm here to help! Both Otou-san and Oji-san say I'm good with a bokken. I'm almost as good as Oji-san was when he was my age."

"Yeah, and your great with everything else too. You're so good at other tasks that you don't even know how to boil water." Ishi interjected sarcastically as she rolled her eyes before she turned to me. "He doesn't even know how to boil water. He never spends any time in the kitchen. One time he begged me to cook rice for him because he learned the hard way that you can't eat uncooked rice."

"HEY!" Yoshijiro bristled as he shot his younger sister a dirty look. "I don't need to know how to boil water or how to cook. I'm going to be a warrior like Otou-san and Oji-san. Cooking is an unnecessary skill for me."

"Right. You can't even land a hit on Oji-san."

"I will be able to one day! I can land a hit on Otou-san already so it'll only be a matter of time before I can land a hit on Oji-san."

After that last retort, Ishi just turned to me and mouthed something along the lines of, "He's delusional." before she retorted to Yoshijiro out loud, "In like a hundred years. Oji-san's a genius with a sword. You're good, but not that good."

"Hey! That's not the point of this whole conversation!" the young boy said as he shot Ishi a look of annoyance. "I was just trying to make Oba-san feel better! Learn to read the situation!"

Oh how Ishi turned bright red. She flushed embarrassingly before she covered her face with both her hands only to peek out at her brother and uncle between her fingers causing Souji to chuckle at her tomato-like face.

"Now, now, settle down kids." Souji said as he moved to put his hands on both the older kids' shoulders before he winked at me with a small smile. "No point in arguing this here. But Yoshijiro did accomplish what he set out to do."

Instantly, both my nephew's and niece's eyes shot to me. I'll have to admit, they're little volley of words were quite amusing and enough for me to crack a small smile. They were both sweet kids. Both Ane-ue and Ani-ue obviously did an excellent job raising them.

"Like I said, don't worry. I'll be here with the kids." Souji said as he plucked Ryota off of my lap and helped me stand again. "Go with Ani-ue and Itou-san and help catch the bastard that did that to those poor children."

"Thanks." I said before I lightly pecked Souji on the lips. "I needed that. I'll go now. Ani-ue and Itou have waited for me long enough. I promise you that I'll bake you the most delicious Castella you have ever eaten when I get back."

"Yum, I can't wait." Souji said as he walked me to the door and gave me a small shove on the back to send me off before I headed to the gates. But while I was still within hearing range, he called after me smugly, "But it won't be too hard, seeing as the first and only Castella I've ever eaten was from yesterday."

Oh, he always just had to get the last word, didn't he? As I left for the front gate feeling better, small snippets of a conversation seemed to lighten the day just a bit more.

"I win the bet."

"What?! That doesn't count! Ryota only lost the staring contest with Kuma because Oba-san picked him up!"

"Doesn't matter. A win's a win, so you have to do all my chores for a week. Onii-san wouldn't lie to his beloved imōto, right?"

"Ishi, you suck."

"Nah, you know you love me."

"Only because we're siblings. I'm hungry. Make me something?"

"Ugh, we just ate breakfast, you bottomless pit!"

Who couldn't smile around Ishi and Yoshijiro? They were as adorable as they were amusing.

* * *

"There doesn't seem to be anything out of place here." Ani-ue said as he examined the area around where the body of the girl was found. "There's no signs of a struggle, meaning she wasn't killed here."

"Well this certainly was a brutal death." Itou replied as he examined the body, eyeing the several scrapes and lacerations on the girl's arms. "It looks like she was tortured before she died and the killing blow was the cut that severed her head from her body. Who was she?"

"Aragaki Minako." Chinatsu answered bluntly with a dead sounding voice. Instead of leaving the market like all the others, she stayed behind with Ane-ue because she couldn't move Sachiko's unconscious body by herself. With the help of Ane-ue, Chinatsu managed to maneuver her mother's body onto a bench nearby so she could wait for her mother to come to.

Itou voiced a scoff of annoyance before he shot a displeased glare at Ane-ue, who was sitting with Chinatsu and me. "Why is she still here? She'll interfere with the investigation."

"Well, it's not like she can go anywhere with her Okaa-san unconscious, now can she?" Ane-ue retorted fiercely before she turned to comfortingly pat Chinatsu on the back. "Don't mind the annoying, pretty man. So you know the girl who was…you know…"

Chinatsu took a deep breath before she answered, "Aragaki Minako was a girl that lived across the street from me. Her chichi-ue is a stationary retailer and her haha-ue helps run the store. Minako-chan was reported missing three weeks ago, right before me and my family left for business." Chinatsu paused shortly to take another deep breath as she allowed her eyes to drift to her shoes. "I don't understand. Why would Minako-chan be targeted? It's true she comes from a family of merchants, but they don't deal with foreigners at all. I thought the murderer was after children of merchants that traded with foreigners."

"What?" Ani-ue said as he ceased his physical investigation of the crime scene before he spun around to stare at Chinatsu. "But the pattern of the killer suggested that he only went after the children of families that engage in foreign trade."

"Then that would mean the killer is evolving or that he never really targeted children of those families." Itou added before he reached into his sleeve to pull out a map. Itou laid his map on a nearby bench, allowing Ani-ue to see the maps details before he continued. "As you see here, I've already circled the houses of where the previous victims' families lived. They all live on the same block and I believe that Aragaki Minako also lived on that very same block. Perhaps the link between all the victims is not because their parents are foreigner pleasing whores, but because they live all in the general area."

"Itou-san, watch your language around children and women!" Ane-ue snapped in irritation before she turned to her husband. "But I do agree with what Itou-san said. Have you found any clues around the body that might lead to the killer yet?"

"Only that she wasn't killed here. There's no signs of struggle or blood in this area to suggest she was killed here in the middle of the night." Ani-ue said with a tired sigh before he scowled angrily at the dirt floor. "Damnit! Now I have to return the girl's decapitated corpse to her family. They shouldn't have to see her all cut up like this. Her head isn't even attached to her body anymore."

"Wait." Itou said with a thoughtful look before he shifted his eyes to me. "Not yet. Instead of returning the body to the family right away, we should examine it to see how she was killed. As unorthodox as it may seem, that may reveal clues that may lead us to the murderer. Shizuka-san's a doctor. Give the body to her to examine."

Me? I was a doctor that specialized in treating the injuries of live people. I wasn't someone that was trained to look at dead people. Sure, I could probably determine the cause of death, but that was probably it. They needed someone that specialized in dead bodies. However, hints of my thoughts must have appeared on my face because Ani-ue shook his head at Itou.

"Shizuka-chan, you don't have to if you're uncomfortable about it." Ani-ue said kindly to me. "It's not something women should get involved with in the first place."

"No, wait." I blurted out just as the two men began making their way back to the body, causing both of them to stop and turn to look back at me. "I'll do it. We need to catch the murderer. For the kids that already fell victim and for the sake of our own kids. Have the body carefully taken back to an isolated part of the compound. I don't want any more damage on the body to compromise the remains."

"Alright." Ane-ue said almost sadly before she turned to speak to Chinatsu. "Come on, It's time to get you and your okaa-san back home. Where do you live?"

I didn't like dealing with the dead and there would be no changing my mind, but this was my chance to protect my son. If I could help catch the person going around killing children then I could do my part as a parent to make the world a safer place for my child.

* * *

Even Souji; who had killed his fair share of people, who was not afraid of corpses or the dead; flinched as he approached me from behind as I was about to examine the body. He loved children and now that he was a father too, the body of a dead child that was around the same age of his nephew and niece was enough to bother him greatly.

"Is that the girl?" Souji asked almost hesitantly. "She had her head cut off?"

"Yeah, this is the girl." I said as I tugged on my gloves and tied my apron on. "But no, she didn't have her head cut off all the way. The body detached from the head due to a large laceration on the neck in combination with the weight of the body from when she was hanged on the roof of a two-story building. Where's Ryota and the other kids?"

"They're with Ane-ue. She told me to come and find you so that you won't be alone when you autopsy the body. Are you okay?"

No I wasn't but… "I'll live to see another day."

I didn't say anything else. I didn't need to. No one can and should ever get used to seeing dead children. I tugged on my facemask before I started my examination of the body. The victim was badly injured before she died. I could see that she had several deep lacerations all over her arms and leg without removing her blood-soaked, clothing first. The torn sleeves revealed the deep lacerations on her arm hads scabbed over, meaning all the cuts on her arms were pre-mortem. Those cuts were given the chance to heal. The lacerations on her legs, well leg, were the same. The one leg that was still attached, the right, was riddled with those same type of cuts on her arms. The severed leg, however, was pristine and free of any injury, if one didn't account for the fact that it was no longer attached to the body. Those lacerations seemed to have been created by the same weapon. While those cuts were long, they were all the exact same length and deep enough to have hit the bone. This revealed to me that they weren't slash wounds. Slash wounds created by the same weapon still would have had different lengths from lack of control. Even if the murderer was extremely careful in making the cuts, they still wouldn't have been the exact same size. The wounds were puncture wounds made by a tool with a long, flat edge with a bevel that was driven into the flesh.

Then there was the leg that had been cut off and the head that had been partially cut off. The cut wasn't a messy cut, like it was carelessly hacked off. The cuts were straight and clean, so clean in fact that the if the little girl wasn't dead and only had her leg cut off that I would have been able to reattach it. Taking the severed leg itself, I flipped it so I could look directly at the crosscut. The edges of the bone seemed to look like it splintered a bit. The bone was a green bone, meaning she was still alive when her leg was severed from the body. Live bone was elastic and often results in some bending when it was damaged. It would not present the sharp, jagged edges of a dead bone when broken. Aside from the leg being severed when she was alive, it seemed that the leg was cut off near her time of death. The other half of the bone that was still attached to the rest of the body had presented no signs of remodeling. This must have been painful if she was still alive, but the cut was so straight that it didn't seem like there were signs of struggling. Was she drugged, unconscious, or just unable to struggle? Closer examination of the arms and legs showed that she was unable to struggle. There were dark bands of bruises on her ankles and wrists. She was tied down and restrained.

Now what was used to cut off her leg and used to cut her neck? There were marks left on the bone from whatever tool was used to cut off her leg. There were long striation marks left in a regular pattern on the bone. This meant the tool used had teeth, so the tool used to cut off her leg and used to cut through part of her neck was a saw of some sort? So apparently we needed to look at whoever had access to a saw… perhaps someone that worked with wood?

Then as for cause of death, was it the cut on her neck? Before her body detached from her head it looked like there was only about an inch of uncut flesh left. However, closer examination revealed that this was not what killed her. She was already dead before her neck was cut into. If this cut was the cause of death then the hemorrhage would have been arterial, but the hemorrhage that occurred in this cut was venous. Her heart had already stopped beating when the victim's neck was cut into. So what was the cause of death? It was time I removed the scraps of clothing left on the victim.

Pausing to give Souji a depressed look. I exhaled and I took in one more deep breath before I started cutting away the remained of the victim's clothing. The torso of the body was free from any lacerations, but was heavily bruised. There were large, ugly greenish-blue bruises that were larger than the size of my hand all over the torso, but the bruises only seemed to grow larger the lower it was on the abdomen. These were made before the victim died. Bruising usually didn't occur after death because the heart would have already stopped beating.

So all the damage on the victim's body was horrendous, but it was nothing compared with what I discovered next. Just as I removed the last pieces of the ruin kimono, I noticed that it was saturated with blood. When all the clothing was gone, I realized where all the blood was coming from. Oh God. The blood was coming from the vagina. Rape? Yes, in a perverse kind of way. Cause of death? Yes. The girl bleed to death through her vagina and the blood wasn't from tears in the walls of the vagina, but it was coming from the uterus. The victim appeared to have died from being stabbed with a long instrument several times in the uterus through the opening of the vagina, probably with a long sharpened stick.

Oh my God.

It was sickening.

"Shizuka, was she raped?" Souji asked in alarm when he saw where the blood was coming from while watching me carefully. He knew how I felt about rape, when I was a product of rape and I was nearly raped myself.

"It was how she was killed." I managed to say before I gagged and had to run outside for a breath of fresh air to calm down.

Souji quickly ran after me and gently rubbed my lower back as I leaned over a nearby rail. "Shizuka, you need to breathe. Tell me what you found." Souji said as he removed my facemask.

"She was in a lot of pain before she died." I said shakily as I bit back another gag. How could someone do this? Who was sick enough to do this? "She was restrained tightly and over the course of the three weeks s-she—the victim…was missing, she had something with a long, straight edge driven into her arms and leg repeatedly. She must have wanted to fight back because she was heavily bruised where she was pulling at her restraints. Then before that sick bastard sawed off the victim's leg, he took a long, sharpened instrument and repeatedly stabbed the victim's uterus through the opening of her vagina and left her to bleed to death. When she was dead, he sawed more than half way through the victim's neck before the victim had a rope tide around her remainder of her neck and was left to hang outside in the market. She took a long time to bleed out."

Souji said nothing but he pulled me into a hug, disregarding the bloodstained gloves and apron I was still wearing.

"Souji, your clothing…"

"It's fine. I can just wash it myself later." Souji replied before he released me. "Don't worry. We'll catch the bastard. He won't be able to lay a hand of our son or any other kid. You examined the body, so what can you tell me?"

"The leg was cut off by a narrow saw and the injuries on the arms and other leg were puncture wounds caused by something with a long, straight edge. The parts of the bone where the tool damaged revealed that the tool was beveled." I answered as I attempted and failed to get myself to stop quivering.

"A saw and a beveled tool with a long straight edge…" Souji mumbled under his breath before his eyes widened in realization. "A dozūki[1] and a chisel. If our murderer had access to those tools then he must have been a carpenter." he said before he sprinted off down the hall. "I'm going to go find Ani-ue and Itou-san. You go wash up and spend time with Ryota and the other kids. You'll feel better."

A carpenter? If my memory served me correctly, wasn't Chinatsu's father a carpenter?

* * *

[1] A type of backsaw. The Japanese means "attached trunk", thus a saw with a stiffening strip attached, i.e., a backsaw.

* * *

Sorry for the slow update. I can't promise that the next update will be up faster because of how busy things are right now.


	83. Chapter 80

Life is busy, busy, busy.

* * *

**Chapter 80**

"Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart." ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

"Bobo ma ku." Ryota babbled nonsensically towards me before he turned back around to face Kuma to babble some more. There was no real response from Kuma, except her blinking twice at Ryota, but he took that to be a sufficient enough response and continued babbling as Kuma sat politely and quietly in front of Ryota.

Was it even possible for infants to form a strong bond like friendship at this early age? I had no idea, but what I saw was pretty much enough to convince me that it was. Ever since Ryota met Kuma, he had pretty much been "talking" to her nonstop. Kuma, who was one month younger, was less loquacious than Ryota. She pretty much just sat quietly and listened to Ryota's nonstop babbling, only to blink or interject with one line every once in a while. And as if to make it a bit more bizarre, both infants would crawl after each other. If one left the room, then the other would follow. It was strange, but cute. Pity, Souji and I lived in Kyoto while Ane-ue and Ani-ue lived in Edo. I'm willing to bet that if we lived closer to each other, then both Ryota and Kuma would definitely grow up to be best friends.

"Oh, you're smiling again." Ane-ue said as she gave the haori she was holding in her hand one more shake before she hung it up to dry with the other laundry. "Feeling better now?"

"Yeah." I replied before moving my butt off the roka and got back on my feet again so I could help with the laundry.

Souji was right. Spending time with the kids did make me feel better. After sneaking one more peek at the two infants giggling together, I went and took a kimono from the tub to hang up to dry on the laundry line. Other than the two infants "talking" to each other on the roka, both Yoshijiro and Ishi were also outside in the courtyard. Yoshijiro had convinced Ishi, not like it took much to, to hurl random object at him while he dodged or blocked with a bokken under the guise of training. Yoshijiro was pretty good at blocking and dodging, but Ishi had amazing aim and it appeared that she may have enjoyed throwing things at her older brother a little too much. She immediately grin sharply when she picked up a wooden bucket before she nailed Yoshijiro on the forehead with it, knocking him flat on his butt.

"OUCH! What the hell was that for?!" Yoshijiro cried from the floor as he rubbed his bruised forehead and gave his younger sister the stink eye.

"Weeeell," Ishi said with her sharp grin slowly growing. She clearly took after her mother and uncle more while Yoshijiro took after his father more, "you ARE supposed to be training. You'll never improve if you take the easy route."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you should nail me in the head every chance you get! You're a girl, so shouldn't you start acting more womanly, you unsexy—!" Yoshijiro spat out before he dove to the ground when a rock the size of my fist whizzed by where his head use to be.

"You know, you never told me to stop, so I think I'll just keep hurling things at you." Ishi said calmly as the subconscious twitch in her hand revealed what she really thought about Yoshijiro's comment. "It's just a pity that most of these rocks around here are too big for me to throw."

"OKAA-SAN! ISHI'S THROWING THINGS THAT SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO!"

Ane-ue paused her work at Yoshijiro's distressed cry for help and shot me an exasperated look before she went to deal with the situation.

"Ishi, your onii-san is right. It's not really womanly to throw things at him, especially when you're mad." Ane-ue scolded Ishi while Yoshijiro conveniently stood out of Ane-ue's sight with a smug grin directed at his sister. "What you do instead is not cook any snacks for him." At those words, Yoshijiro's grin slid off his face as he started to flounder around in a panic as he tried to distract his sister from listening to his mom's words. "Once he starves for a few days, then he'll know not to cross you." Ane-ue finished.

"AHAHAHA! You're such a joker, Okaa-san!" Yoshijiro said with a forced laugh while scratching the back of his neck. He seemed to turn slightly pale at the sight of his sister's sinister grin.

"I'm not done yet." Ane-ue then said as she turned to face Yoshijiro. "You asked your imōto to throw things at you so you could train, so you have no right to complain when you actually do get hit. If you don't want her aiming at your head then you need to tell her beforehand." It was then Ane-ue's expression seemed to grow dark despite the kind smile that was still plastered on her face. "And I happen to recall calling the both of you out here so that you two could help me with the laundry. Instead you two end up goofing off and your Oba-san ends up doing your chores when she's supposed to be here on vacation."

"Err…" both older children said while sweating bullets before they exchanged glances.

In an instant, they seemed to reappear in front of me. Ishi took the hakama from my hands and quickly passed it to her brother to hang up on the laundry line.

"Oba-san, you should go rest." Ishi suggested in a rushed manner as she began escorting me back towards where Ryota and Kuma were sitting on the roka. "Onii-san and I can handle the laundry."

When I sat back down on the roka, Ishi rushed back to help her brother hang the remainder of the wet laundry. Ane-ue shot me a satisfied glance before she resumed her work as well.

"So," Ane-ue said as she picked up another haori, "It's pretty obvious how you and Souji met, but how did you two end up falling for each other? Tell me?"

"Well honestly, I don't really know…" I answered, seemingly tipping Ane-ue's world off its access.

"You don't know?! How does that work?!" Ane-ue said as she quickly picked up the haori she dropped.

"It means exactly what it means. I don't know."

Truthfully, I had never really thought too much about it. It just seemed like such a natural process that I barely even blinked my eyes at it.

"Ah, so this is what Souji meant by, 'Shizuka is smart, but is denser than a bar of lead. You should never expect her to understand anything romance related. Although, it is kinda funny to watch her flail about when she's trying to figure these things out.'"

Wait, Souji actually told Ane-ue that? Well, that was somewhat embarrassing. Ane-ue seemed to grin at me in amusement when she saw my cheeks turn slightly pink.

"Um…yeah…" I muttered embarrassedly under my breath. It was kind of mortifying how dense I was sometimes, to tell the truth.

"Alright." Ane-ue said as she put her hands on her hips and turned to face me with a mischievous grin that was disturbingly similar to her brother's normal, wry grin. "You tell me when you noticed Souji acting differently towards you and I'll piece together the rest."

"Well…" I began as I let my gaze drift back onto Ryota and Kuma. They seemed to pause what they were doing to stare at me curiously, like they wanted to know too. "Hmm… You know about the time where Souji got sick with the measles, right?"

_"You don't have to stay here with me. I'm sure you have better things to do than to stay here and care for me." Souji said to me in what seemed like a poorly disguised tone of depression after a moment of silence when Otou-san and Hijikata-san left to head back to the dojo._

_One look at Souji's face and I knew that I couldn't just leave Souji here to suffer alone. Souji never did like to be alone and even more so when he got sick. He was always especially clingy with whomever when he did get sick, even with Hijikata-san. Although, with Hijikata-san, the situation always devolved into a name-calling contest of some sort._

_Souji looked so unbearably lonely right now and was probably internally beating himself up for how that encounter with Otou-san and Hijikata-san went. When Souji spoke about how terrible it would be if Otou-san fell sick, Otou-san grew depressed while wondering about the future of Japan. It was the complete opposite of what Souji wanted. Souji did tell me before that discussing politics or the future of the country was too difficult of a subject to understand. He couldn't find anything to say in that situation. He didn't know what to do and the fact that it was Hijikata-san that was able to cheer Otou-san up with a few words was like rubbing salt into an open wound. Souji loved Otou-san's happy face, but Otou-san's happy face was so different when Otou-san was talking to him. Although Souji loved Otou-san's smile, Souji must have felt pain in his chest when he saw Otou-san smiling at Hijikata-san like that because, in his mind, Souji believed that no matter what he said or did, he could never make Otou-san smile the way Hijikata-san could. It hurt to see Souji so upset like this._

_"No, I have nothing better to do." I corrected Souji's statement as I made up my mind. I couldn't leave him to suffer alone. That was not allowed. "Scoot over."_

_"Why?" Souji asked me with that depressed tone of his as he laid back down on the futon._

_"Just do it."_

_Souji's depression seemed to break for a few seconds as he stared at me inquisitively before he complied with my request. The moment I got into the futon with Souji, he seemed to freeze, like he didn't know what to do in this situation. Then, just as it seemed that Souji couldn't possibly become any stiffer, he seemed to stop breathing the moment I cradled his head against my chest and gently ran my fingers through his hair._

_"It's lonely to suffer by yourself, right?" I asked softly as I continued to run my fingers through his hair reassuringly. "Go ahead and sleep. I'll still be here when you wake up."_

_At my words, all the tension left his shoulders as he relaxed in my arms. Then almost tentatively, Souji wrapped his arms around my waist with what appeared to be unsure shakiness._

_"You'll stay here with me?" he mumbled into my chest while letting his fatigue take over slowly. "The whole time?"_

_"The whole time. I won't leave, okay?"_

_Instead of answering verbally, Souji nodded shallowly against my chest before nuzzling me to get more comfortable. We fell into a comfortable silence for some time before he decided to speak up again._

_"You're not flat anymore…" Souji seemed to mumble to himself._

_Okay…? Where did that come from? Yes, Souji was laying on my chest, but I really didn't think he would have energy to joke around. But, also at the same time, it didn't seem like Souji was jesting. He seemed to be completely serious._

_"Well, you didn't expect me to stay flat forever, did you?" I replied jokingly, but it only seemed to make Souji tighten his grip around me slightly._

_"I remember when you use to follow me around everywhere as a little girl. You were always a bit mature, but you were always that sweet little girl that stayed with me. Now in what seemed like less than a second, you've become a woman…"_

_The way Souji said, "a woman" made it seem like that fact was bothering him a bit. Wait, did that mean that Souji preferred it when I was just the little girl that followed him around? Did it bother him that I was a young woman now? Just the thought of that was enough to make me feel like my stomach fly up my throat. What if he didn't want me around anymore?_

_"I guess so…" I muttered as I forced my stomach back down my throat. "I guess it just a miracle that Otou-san hasn't started to talk about arranging a marriage yet." I added on jokingly as an afterthought in an attempt to make myself feel better._

_However, what I said seemed to have an effect on Souji. It was surprising how much strength Souji still had despite being weakened by the measles. His grip tightened around me more than before to hold me firmly. It was almost as if he were afraid of something._

_"You won't leave me, right?" Souji asked almost bitterly with a hint of hope that seemed foreign in his voice. "You'll stay with me, right?"_

_I didn't understand why Souji was asking this question again when I clearly told him when I got in the futon with him that I would stay here with him, but I said, "Yes." anyways and started humming a familiar tune in an attempt to calm him down. He should be resting, not getting wound up again._

_"Hey, Shizuka?" Souji said sleepily as he began relaxing his grip again._

_"Hmm?"_

_"Are there words to this tune?"_

_"Uh-huh."_

_"Can you sing for me then?" Souji murmured tiredly._

_Why did he want me to sing for him? I didn't sing well at all. My voice always grew too high pitch most of the time and Souji use to joke that I sounded like a crow, which was not very flattering. My singing voice was in no way pleasant, so why did he want me to sing?_

_"You know I can't sing." I said after a deep breath. "Remember, you use to say that I sounded like a crow all the time when we were younger, or has your fever fried your brain?"_

_"Please?" was all Souji asked._

_Well, what was the harm with complying with his request this time? If it was Souji's fever that made him ask me to sing for him then he probably wouldn't remember later on. It's not like I'd lose my dignity if Souji couldn't remember me singing horribly to him while he was sick._

_"The sakura tree is rustling,  
swaying in the brilliant wind.  
Those tempestuous days which blossoms scattered hastily  
are like a dream afar._

_It is in your taciturn figure  
that you contain all your sorrow.  
What are you looking at? What can you see?  
When gazing beyond the endless sky?_

_Ah, I wish to become a willowy wind  
to dissipate the tears of your heart.  
Holding an affection which can't be shown,  
I wish to draw close to you when you're in pain,  
like glorious sunlight.  
Even if it's merely for this transient season._

_Sunbeam sifting through branches like a cat's cradle.  
When untangled, the sun soon sets.  
Those days which everyday passed peacefully,  
if only that could last forever…_

_However, you shortened your life  
to persistently advance  
in pursuit of the future, hasting towards the future  
on an unclear thorny path._

_Ah, I wish to become a refreshing wind,  
so that the man standing beside the sakura tree  
who held aspiration, and lived through turbulent days,  
can now smile blissfully  
under this pale blue sky._

_While future whereabouts remains unseen, still,  
if you're going this pathless road,  
believe that you have a place to return to—right here._

_Ah, I wish to become a willowy wind  
to dissipate the tears of your heart.  
Holding an affection which can't be shown,  
I wish to draw close to you when you're in pain,  
like glorious sunlight.  
Even if it's merely for this transient season."__**[1]**_

_When I was done singing, Souji's breathing had fallen into a soft and regular pattern. Interesting… I didn't think my singing voice would be pleasant enough for him to fall asleep to, but I was surprised when Souji opened one eye at me before he shifted slightly against me to get a bit more comfortable, revealing that he wasn't really asleep._

_"I always thought that a crow's caw was beautiful… It's my favorite…sound…" Souji managed to mumble before his fatigue overcame him as he finally fell asleep._

"Oh?" Ane-ue said with a sly smile as she left the rest of the laundry to Yoshijiro and Ishi so she could come sit next to me. "Then he began to act differently around you?"

"I guess so…?" I answered with puzzlement. "You know, after he recovered from the measles, Souji started to enjoy more touch and when he wasn't satisfied with the amount of attention I gave him then he would come looking for it. In fact, he did it so much that Shinpachi-san grew envious with what Souji was able to get away with."

_"You know, this is all so unfair." Shinpachi-san suddenly said with his eyes on me one afternoon while he, Sano-san, Heisuke, and I were just relaxing in the main practice hall of the dojo._

_I blinked in confusion under Shinpachi-san's unnerving stare. What was unfair? Did I do something to upset him? Both Sano-san and Heisuke seemed to think the same thing as they exchanged glances at each other._

_"I don't get it." Heisuke said while scratching the back of his head, under the base of his ponytail. "What's unfair?"_

_"Wha? You mean you guys don't see it?!" Shinpachi-san complained while looking cheated. "Why is it that Souji gets to touch Shizuka-chan's breasts all the time?! Totally unfair!"_

_"Uwaa." Heisuke seemed to say in distaste to Shinpachi-san's response. "I can't believe you're complainin' about this…"_

_"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!" Shinpachi-san snapped unhappily at Heisuke. "As a man, you gotta be upset with this unfair treatment!"_

_"Well, that's easy to answer." Sano-san stepped in to answer Shinpachi-san with a relaxed and even almost sly grin as he briefly glanced at my confused face. "It's because Shizuka's his girl. Shinpachi, you know, you shouldn't compare Shizuka with the girls down at the red-light district."_

_Really, what's with the "his girl" business? Sano-san was always saying that and I still hadn't really figured out what he meant by that. And Shinpachi-san was comparing me to the girls that worked down at the red-light district? I didn't know whether to be offended or flattered by that remark. In the time I was originally from, it was considered shameful for a woman to work down in the red-light district. But in the Tokugawa era, the girls that worked down in the red-light district were regarded like Hollywood celebrities. It was kind of like a gilded cage for the working girls._

_"I still don't see it." Shinpachi-san grumbled before the expression on his face became shifty and sly. "Hey, Shizuka-chan, you love me too, right?"_

_"Um… Sure?" I answered. Where was he going with this?_

_"Alright! Then I'm going to hug you now!" Shinpachi-san seemed to chirp all too cheerfully and practically charged at me with his eyes focused on my chest._

_However, before I could process everything, I seemed to instinctively raise my leg and I kneed him directly in… well, a very special place. Shinpachi-san instantly crumbled to the ground and curled himself into a ball while crying in pain._

_"Why…?" Shinpachi-san barely groaned out in pain without getting up._

_"I don't know, but for some strange reason, you running towards me suddenly felt dangerous and I just reacted without thinking." I said bluntly. "Sorry for kneeing you…?"_

_At my explanation and puzzled expression, both Sano-san and Heisuke burst out into laughter and even began to tear up from laughing so hard. I don't get it…? But whatever the reason was, the loud laughter seemed to attract another person to the scene._

_"Hmm…? Did someone prank Hijikata-san without inviting me?" Souji said as he poked his head in through the open door only to see Shinpachi-san rolling around on the floor in pain. "Shinpachi-san? Did something happen?"_

_"Pain!" Shinpachi-san manage to groan out before he went back to licking his wounds._

_"Ah," Sano-san said as he calmed down enough to wipe the tears from his eyes. "Shinpachi here was just wondering why only you get to lay your head on the 'flowerbed' before he attempted to do so himself. As you can see, that didn't end well. Shizuka here just reacted without knowing what Shinpachi was planning to do."_

_"Hmm…" Souji said as he pressed his lips in to a tight, fine line as he spared Shinpachi-san a displeased look before he grinned smugly. "I'm afraid that this is already my spot and I don't like to share. Shinpachi-san, go find your own."_

_Souji then quickly approached me and laid his head on my breasts while pulling me close to him._

_"UNFAIR!" Shinpachi-san objected loudly while still rolling round in pain._

_"Souji?" I asked as I instinctively ran my fingers through his hair. Did he want something? "What is it?"_

_"Oh, nothing." he said all too gleefully as he grinned smugly at the other men in the room while making sure to kick Shinpachi while he was still down. "Just proving something."_

"So I see…" Ane-ue said while looking in deep thought. "You know, if you didn't like Souji touching you all the time then you could have said no to him. He would have backed off."

"I know, but I never really minded and it always made Souji happy, so I saw no reason to stop him."

"My, my, you really were and still are pretty dense." Ane-ue seemed to pat me patronizingly on the head. "It's cute. It's no surprise why Souji fell for you the way he did."

"Oi! Shizuka!" Souji called me from down the hallway. I turned to see Souji, Itou, and Ani-ue emerging from a room. Were they done with their meeting regarding the investigation now? "Come here. We need you for the next part of the investigation. Just leave the kids to Ane-ue. They'll be fine."

"Well, better not keep them waiting." Ane-ue said with a smile as she gave me a gentle shove off the roka and towards the men.

* * *

"So, I thought you were going to keep me out of this investigation." I said to Souji with a curious peek towards his face as we headed to our destination together.

It appeared that the men had come up with a plan of action in their meeting and were now executing it. I just never expected myself to be involved because of the way I reacted to the information I had gleamed from the autopsy.

"I wanted to." Souji replied with a tired sigh as he wrap an arm around my waist so he could gently pull me away from the horse-drawn cart that was passing by us. "But it really wasn't my call. Itou-san made some really good points on including you in the investigation and Ani-ue agreed in the end."

"Okay, then what are we doing and what did you guys discuss in the meeting?"

"Before I ran off, I mentioned that the perpetrator was probably a carpenter because of the marks the tools left on the body, right?"

I nodded in affirmation, signaling Souji to continue on with his explanation.

"Well, if you throw in where all the children are disappearing and reappearing dead, they all come from a four-block area, in a two-by-two square. Itou-san figured that all the children being killed were taken from the area were taken because they came from a source of convenience, meaning the killer must live within that area. The killer won't need to go far to get his victims. Ani-ue then went ahead and pulled up the remaining information. Within this two-by-two area, there are a total of three carpenters that live in this area. There is Mikio-san, Sachiko-san's husband; there's a man named Sanada Hideo; and there's a man named Hanamura Raiden. I'm going to be paired up with you while Itou-san is paired off with Ani-ue to go investigate and question those men."

"Then why am I coming along?" I asked, interrupting Souji as he was going to continue with his explanation. "You don't actually need me to come along to help you with the questioning. You already have plenty of experience from work."

Souji shifted and looked slightly uncomfortable after I asked my question. However, he seemed to see no point in delaying his answer and just dropped the bomb.

"Because I'm being sent to question Mikio-san and because he's married and has children himself, Itou-san pointed out he would probably be more forth coming with information if he saw me to be more of someone he can relate to rather than an authority figure."

I froze after I heard Souji speak. We were going to Sachiko's home? Of course, my first instinct was to turn around and run the opposite direction, but Souji seemed to anticipate this and quickly tighten his hold around my waist. When he was sure I was firmly secured, he went ahead and whispered in my ear soothingly in an attempt to calm me down and reassure me.

"Calm down. There's no need to panic when I'm going to be with you the entire way." Souji said gently as his breath lightly touched my ear. "There's no need to run anymore. It shouldn't matter to you anymore if your okaa-san didn't want you when there are people who, not only want you, but need you too."

"B-But…"

"You'll be fine, and while I'm no expert at these type of things like Sano-san is, isn't it better to face your fears rather than to keep running from them? Be the better person. This will be good for you."

"But still…" I said as I raise my eyes to look at him hopefully. "Do we really need to go question Mikio-san and his family? The timeline of the murders don't fit with Mikio-san. The murder obviously continued in Edo while he and his entire family were out of town, plus the injuries on the corpse of the victim showed that she had been tortured in the weeks the family were away. Mikio-san can't possibly be the killer, unless he can teleport."

"Yeah, I know." Souji replied as he rubbed my side reassuringly. "But it doesn't hurt to check and be absolutely sure."

"Alright." I relented. I could do this.

Souji smiled at me gently before he released his hold on me so I could attach myself to his arm to comfort myself on the way to Mikio-san's house and business, though it didn't take long to arrive there. Souji must have been glad we arrived there so soon because, even though it didn't show on his face, he probably wanted to get there as soon as possible so I would let go of his arm. I was hugging his arm so tightly that I was sure that I was cutting off the blood circulation quite a bit.

When we arrived at the Kimura residence, we paused outside to observe the business and house. The Kimura family lived in a particular type of townhouse that was known as a machiya. Machiya typically housed urban merchants and craftsmen so it shouldn't have been a surprise to see that Sachiko lived in such a house now, but at the same time, I couldn't stop myself from being surprised. When I was still an infant in her care, I very clearly remembered a small house with a thatched roof. Everything was so different.

The machiya had a narrow front facing the street so it seemed like it would be a small place to work and live, but appearances were often deceiving. The street frontage may have been narrow, but the wooden home often stretched deep into the city block and usually contained one or more small courtyard gardens, or tsuboniwa. The front of the building traditionally served as the retail or shop space, generally having sliding or folding shutters that opened to facilitate the display of goods and wares. Behind this shop space, the remainder of the main building is divided into the living space, but since this was a carpenter workshop and furniture shop, the workshop was probably situated somewhere between the shop space and living space.

"Well, here we go." Souji said as he shot me a small confident smile before he stepped forward and entered the shop. "Excuse me!" he called as he entered.

"Ah, welcome!" a voice called back as a person emerged from the back of the shop. It was Sachiko. "Oh, Okita-san! How may I help—!"

She seemed totally happy and cheerful right now despite just seeing a decapitated corpse of a young girl several hours earlier. However, her chipper attitude didn't last the moment she spotted me enter the shop behind Souji. The moment her eyes landed on my face, she became stiffer than a board.

Souji grew slightly irritated when he saw her react to my presence. It would be more difficult to obtain information from a statue, after all. Despite Souji's words to me earlier, I still didn't want to be here, but he was still right. It would be better to face my fear rather than to keep running away. It was time to be the better person and fear was a handicap.

Taking a deep breath, I quickly schooled my features into a more pleasant smile and stepped forward, drawing Souji's attention as he raised a curious eyebrow at me.

"Sachiko-san, it's a pleasure to see you again. I hope you feel better after what you witness this morning." I politely greeted her to the best of my abilities. It wasn't the perfect greeting seeing how my hands were still shaking in front of me as I bowed a bit stiffly, but the effort was still there.

"I…I…" Sachiko stuttered less successfully, but it seemed like she was at least attempting to put forth an effort to return things to normalcy.

"I'm sorry to intrude like this, but is Mikio-san in? My husband and—" I managed to say before I broke off my sentence half way as my hands started to tremble a bit too much. Souji quickly stepped in and took my hand before completing the rest of my sentence.

"We're looking for your husband. We have a few questions to ask him regarding the most recent body discovered. Is he here at the moment?"

"O-Oh…" Sachiko manage to answer Souji more readily. "My husband is currently out at his friend's home with Chinatsu. I can give you the address to his friend's home. His friends name is," she paused briefly to take in a shaky breath, "Sanada Hideo."

"Sanada Hideo, huh…" Souji mumbled under his breath. It was the name of the other carpenter on the list of suspects we were supposed to investigate. "Alright then, sorry for the inconvenience. Don't worry about the address. We know where he lives. Thank you for your time and I hope you have a wonderful day."

With our suspect not being at home, Souji quickly and gently began escorting me back outside. "Good job." he whispered into my ear, but I felt like I didn't do enough. As glad as I was to get away from Sachiko, I couldn't stop myself from suddenly turning around to stare my biological mother in the eyes.

"Why?" I asked much more firmly than I expected I could, given the circumstances. "Why did you throw me away? I understand why you didn't want me, but why did you leave me to die?"

"Because of your eyes." Sachiko spat back in a fearful and hateful whisper. "You have HIS eyes. I can't stand looking at you."

And with that spiteful response, Sachiko turned with a swish of her kimono and fled back in to the safety of the back of the shop while I was left in the front with Souji to contend with such a hurtful remark.

"Shizuka…" Souji murmured as he moved to comfort me.

"No, it's fine." I whispered back as I shot him a small teary smile. "Let's go. We have a murderer to catch."

I had expected an answer among those same terms, but just because I expected it didn't make it any less painful. In the background of the store I could hear the voice of Chinatsu's younger brother.

"Okaa-san, why are you crying?"

* * *

"Excuse me, is anyone in?" Souji called into the shop and residence of Sanada Hideo while I quietly trailed behind. It was not surprising I wasn't in the mood to speak anymore, but I still trailed along with Souji because I needed to feel the safe feeling that Souji's presence always provided me.

"Okita-san?" Mikio-san asked as he emerged from the back of his friend's shop. He grinned cheerfully when he saw Souji and I. "I knew I recognized that voice! Come in, come in."

"Oh? Who is this?" a new voice said before the owner of this voice emerged from the back of the shop too. "An acquaintance of yours?"

"Ah, yes!" Mikio-san answered his friend cheerfully. They're the ones that rescued my parents-in-law and Chinatsu from those ronin on the way back. This is Okita Souji-san with his wife, Shizuka-san."

"Really?" Sanada-san said sounding impressed. "Well then, I'll have to properly show my gratitude too. Not only did you help protect my best friend's family, but you also rescued my future daughter-in-law too. My name is Sanada Hideo. It is a pleasure to meet you."

So this man's son was the boy that Chinatsu was to marry in the future? Souji seemed to share the same line of thought as he hummed in curiosity.

"Hmm…? Is that so?" Souji commented. "Then if you want to show your gratitude perhaps you can answer a few questions for me."

"Questions?" Mikio-san parroted Souji as he turned to Sanada-san to exchange glances. "Can you tell us what this is about?"

"Well, you see," Souji began while carefully watching both men for any signs that would indicate guiltiness, "I'm one of those men who have been charged by the Bakufu to investigate the series of murders occurring in this area. Right now I'm gathering information that might aid in solving this case."

"Ah, I see." Sanada-san said while looking like he was in deep thought. "Well then, we'll help in whatever way we can. It's nice to finally see the government stepping in to protect us civilians, but does your wife need to be here for this? Won't it be too tough on her psyche to discuss murders?"

I opened my mouth to object to what I thought was offensive, but Souji spoke up before a sound could leave my throat while giving me a side glance that told me to go along with what he said.

"That might be true." Souji replied while feigning a concerned look. While he knew I was disgusted with the murders and was still a little shaken up with the encounter with my mother, he knew I was tougher than what Sanada-san thought. I was someone who refused to be frail while there was still unfinished work. "Do you have a quiet place she can rest while we discuss such matters?"

"Why, yes." Sanada-san answered sympathetically. "She can go rest in the back while us men talk. No need to worry about privacy. You saved my future daughter-in-law, so my home is always open to you."

"Thank you. That is rather kind of you. Shizuka, why don't you head off to the back?" Souji said to me while subtly telling me with his eyes to search the house for any possible incriminating evidence.

So I see. That was Souji's plan.

"Alright." I pretended to answer timidly before bowing politely to our hosts and heading towards the back.

Now while Souji was getting information and distracting the two men, I would look for possible evidence that would either prove guiltiness or innocence. Where would be a better place to start my search other than the workshop? With great haste, I headed to the workshop. If anyone had died or had been cut using the tools in the workshop then I would know for sure. Bleach wasn't an everyday chemical used for cleaning yet, so if there had been blood spilled, then there would be a stain, plus everything in the workshop except for the metal bits were made of wood. Unsealed wood absorbed blood. If there was a large amount of blood spilt then I would be able to see and smell it.

The first thing I noticed about the workshop when I arrived was that it was clean but also messy at the same time. All the carpenter tools were neatly hanging on hooks on the wall if they weren't stored away in neatly labeled boxes. There were no pieces of wood thrown around haphazardly, however, there was sawdust and wood shaving on the floor. This room was used, but the only thing that had been cut in that room was wood. There was no scent of any cleaners or blood.

All the tools were clean too. True, blood was easier to wash off of metal, but it was obvious that these tools had not been used on a human. They were old, but well taken care of. All the sharp tools were still razor sharp with no chip marks. If these tools had been used on humans, they would have chipped a bit when they hit bone and since these tools were old and well used, there would have been no way these tools were replacement tools.

So the evidence was against Sanada-san being the killer too. It was probably time I headed back up front to where Souji was. There was nothing h—

"Ow! Let go of me!"

"Shut up, you stupid broad! I own you!"

The sound of two muffled yells were coming from further back in the house and one of the voices sounded like Chinatsu? Something was wrong. Running to the source of the voices, the closer I got, the more I could hear. There was some more yelling, sounds of scuffling, and a muffled cry of pain. When I slammed the door open, I uncovered the source of Chinatsu's bruises.

Both people in the room, Chinatsu and another boy that looked slightly older than her froze. The boy's hand was painfully tight around Chinatsu's wrist while his other hand was raised above her with a wooden dowel.

"Who the hell are you and why are you in my house?" the boy snapped at me. This was Sanada-san's son? Sanada-san seemed like a kind and gentle man. The apple really did fall far from the tree this time. Did Sanada-san even know what his son was doing?

"I'm a guest of your otou-san and I happen to be here to pick up Chinatsu." I said as I told a half-lie. As much as I wanted to beat that kid up for what he was doing, it would be a good idea to get Chinatsu out of here first. The waste-of-space kid could be dealt with later.

"Che!" the kid snorted before he left the room, leaving me and Chinatsu alone and when he was out of sight, Chinatsu exploded on me.

"What are you doing?! I never asked you to help me!" She yelled at me while tearing up. "This is my problem not yours!"

"It is my problem!" I yelled back, stunning her into silence.

I may have hated her and we may have been raised by different parents, but she was still my sister. It was my job as an older sibling to protect her, even if she didn't know we were related.

"Why?" she mumbled back tearfully quiet after a moment of silence. Wasn't that the question of the century?

"Come on." I said, ignoring her question for now, "Let's get you out of here."

* * *

It was rather easy to get Chinatsu out of the house. Once I got back up to the front, Souji was wrapping up his questions. Mikio-san was rather surprised to see Chinatsu with me, but quickly let things go when Souji told Mikio-san that I had wanted to get to know Chinatsu better. Chinatsu was let out of the house with me and Souji to spend time with us after we promised her father that we would take her home before dinner. Once we left the house, we found a quiet area by a riverbank where I started to look at Chinatsu's injuries.

"So how long has this been happening?" Souji questioned the girl quite seriously while I treated the cuts and bruises that were hidden under her kimono. As much as the boy that beat her disgusted me, I have to admit he was smart. He made sure to not hit her face and only the areas that would be hidden under her clothing.

"Since the marriage arrangement was agreed upon four years ago." Chinatsu mumbled quietly while staring at her feet. "Chichi-ue and Sanada-san don't know about the beatings."

"Then why didn't you tell them?" I asked as I cleaned out another cut. "From what I can see, your otou-san loves you and would immediately break off the engagement."

"B-Because…" she said as she started to tear up again. "Chichi-ue and Sanada-san are best friends that grew up together. If I told Chichi-ue then he would break his friendship with Sanada-san and it'll be all m-my fault."

"But I believe that your otou-san will believe that his precious daughter's life is worth more." I said gently, but I got a response that I didn't expect.

"What would you know?!" Chinatsu snarled at me through her tears. "You're not like me! I bet you wouldn't even think twice about ruining your otou-san's happiness! You're an educated doctor, your married to the man you love, and you have freedom! I can't go out and get a formal education because I'm a girl with no connections! I have to marry the person who beats me and I will forever be tied to the home! All I have is the love of my Chichi-ue and if I ruin Chichi-ue's friendship, then I'll have nothing!" when she was done with her yelling, she was reduced to quiet sobs. "…It's so unfair… Why do you have everything I want but can never have…? And as if to rub things in…you have those same mocking blue eyes Sanada-san's son has… I hate you…"

Wait! "Same mocking blue eyes"? My eyes were the same as Sanada-san's son and the same as Sachiko's rapist…? It was at this dreadful moment I realized that Sanada-san's son's eyes were exactly like mine and his father's. When Sachiko mentioned Sanada-san earlier today, she trembled, like she was scared of the man. Did that mean…?

"Then what about your okaa-san?" Souji asked when both me and her grew quiet. Chinatsu didn't even mention her mother in her rant. "You didn't say anything about her…" Souji said but grew quiet as well when he realized something. "She knows about the beatings."

Chinatsu nodded and cred a bit more before answering, "She knows, but won't do anything. She's too afraid of Sanada-san. I don't know why…"

* * *

"Shizuka," Souji said before he let out a guilty sounding sigh, "I know today was difficult for you."

"That's the understatement of the century." I muttered under my breath as I sat with Ryota on the futon. Despite it being time for him to go to bed for the night, Ryota was still rather hyperactive as he bounced around on his feet before he toppled over when he attempted to take a step towards his father.

"Shizuka, about—"

"Souji, sorry but can we just talk about the case right now. I… I don't really want to talk about everything else that happened today…"

"Alright…" Souji relented before he sat down behind me so he could pull me into his lap to comfort me.

"As for all our suspects, none of them are good for the murders. Mikio-san was out-of-town during the abduction of the victim we recovered today. Sanada Hideo was also out-of-town on a trip to Osaka to see his older brother during the abduction of the victim and we also have eyewitnesses to prove it. Hanamura Raiden is the only one that was in Edo during the time of the abduction, however, he is an elderly man that no longer even has the strength to work with wood. If he has no strength to work with wood then he definitely wouldn't have the strength to murder so many children so brutally. The only reason his workshop is still being used is because he rents it out to others." Souji listed off. "We're stuck."

"So what do we do now?" I asked Souji.

"We start over—"

"Souji! Shizuka!" Ani-ue called in through the closed door, interrupting Souji and sounding panicked. "Someone's here to see you two! The serial killer struck again!"

Souji quickly lept into action and quickly dashed out the door while I gathered Ryota up in my arms and sprinted after Souji. At the front door, Mikio-san and Sachiko were prostrated on the floor with Ichiro as Mikio-san pleaded with us.

"Please help me! Chinatsu disappeared while she went out to dispose of the trash! My daughter has been taken! Help me, please!"

* * *

[1] Translation obtained from tokio-fujita's livejournal


	84. Chapter 81

Okay, honestly, I find it very difficult to write a good crime and think that writing research papers and proposals are a lot easier. Maybe I'm not suited to write crime stories? Plot holes all over this chapter when I was outlining it in the beginning were driving me mad, but I think I caught most of them. Well, I apologize if my writing is not up to standard this time.

* * *

**Chapter 81**

"There's no bitch on earth like a mother frightened for her kids." ― Stephen King

…What…? Chinatsu was abducted…? I... What?

I by no means even liked Chinatsu all that much, even though she was my half-sister, but that did not mean that she didn't start growing on me. She was still my lovely little sister, no matter how much she claimed she hated me and no matter how much I thought I disliked her. But Sachiko was a different story. The look on Sachiko's face when Mikio-san announced that Chinatsu had been abducted, the twisting of horror and pain… I would be lying if I said I didn't have some form of sick enjoyment from watching her face twist like that. This feeling was shameful. It was something I wished that I didn't feel, but I couldn't deny it, the satisfaction. What did it feel like now that the daughter she did love was taken? How much was she suffering? And now, the fact she had to come with her husband to grovel near my feet, at the feet of the one daughter she threw away, I loved and hated the way this all made me feel, the way it stroked my inner darkness.

"Please!" Mikio-san continued to plead as he sobbed with his face touching the floor. "I can't lose my daughter!"

Souji looked grim as he flickered his eyes to me quickly to check on me before he knelt down to help Mikio-san and Sachiko sit up. "Alright." Souji said as he did his best to offer the Kimura family a kind smile. "Why don't you come on in and tell us what happened up to when Chinatsu was abducted. Shizuka, can you get us all some tea? Leave Ryota with Yoshijiro and Ishi. They can put him to bed with Kuma."

"Okay." I answered obediently as I shoved my own personal emotions under its lid so I could focus. "Ishi, Yoshijiro, here's Ryota." I said as I carefully passed Ryota to Ishi, causing Ryota to complain a bit as he tried to grab my bangs. "He should fall asleep quite quickly if you hum to him softly."

"Got it." Yoshijiro said as he gave me a reassuring grin. "We put Kuma to bed all the time. Well, Ishi more than me, but that's moot to point. He'll be in good hands."

Ane-ue quickly passed a sleepy Kuma to Yoshijiro before both children retreated to the back of the house. Ani-ue and Souji quickly escorted the Kimura family off the front porch and into the sitting area so they could begin the questioning, leaving me and Ane-ue to head to the kitchen to prepare some tea.

"So what's the story here?" Ane-ue broke the silence in the kitchen as I was putting a kettle of water to boil on the stove.

"I'm pretty sure you were standing to my left when Mikio-san announced that his daughter had been abducted." I stated so bluntly that I'm sure it raised a bunch of red flags in Ane-ue's mind. "I believe that was the story."

Ane-ue's hands on her hips and the thin line her lips were pressed into was not needed for me to know that she was very unimpressed by my retort. "You know what I mean. You really can be almost like Sou-chan when something's bothering him." she said in a sharp scolding tone that didn't fit when she used her pet name for Souji. "Now tell me the truth before I have to gouge the truth out of you. Why did you look so uncomfortable around Kimura Sachiko?"

"Ah, the water is boiling." I quickly replied despite just putting the kettle on the stove not too long back. That excuse was lame and Ane-ue's annoyed looked told me she thought that as well.

"You know, if you want to wiggle out of telling me the truth then you can at least use an excuse that's believable. Using an excuse this lame is just insulting." she said with slanted brows as she grabbed my wrist to prevent me from removing the still cold water from the stove. "What's really bothering you? And don't deny it! I have eyes. I can see how uncomfortable you around Kimura Sachiko and how similar you two look. Souji also happened to tell me that you were adopted. Even if you don't tell me, I'm pretty sure I can add up one plus one."

"Then you can do the math." I answered stubbornly. I didn't want to talk about this right now.

"So then, why is your relationship with your onee-san so bad?"

Wait, older sister? Where did Ane-ue get that? Well, it might be because Sachiko wasn't that old when she had me and the fact that she aged well.

"Um, no." I said as I leaned up against the kitchen wall.

Might as well explain now. I doubt Ane-ue would let me get away with not explaining to her. If she didn't get an explanation straight from me now, then she'd be true to her word and gouge the truth out of me later. And I do have to say, she could be quite terrifying. No wonder Otou-san and Hijikata-san were frightened of her.

I took a deep breath before I dived into the explanation head first. No point in delaying the inevitable. "Sachiko isn't my onee-san. She's my haha. The only reason she looks young enough to be my onee-san is because she is young enough to be. She gave birth to me at an early age."

"Hmm… So she's your okaa-san by blood? How did you end up with Kondou-san? What happened?"

"She didn't want me." I said bluntly as I shifted my gaze to the kettle. Why was it taking so long for the water to boil right now? "A man raped Sachiko and she got pregnant with me. She gave birth to me when she was a fifteen year old, unwed woman. Because she couldn't stand the sight of me and the shame of being an unwed mother, she placed me in an abandoned boat at night when I was nine months old and sent me down a river. Otou-san found me the next day and decided to keep me."

"I see…" Ane-ue said quietly as she was contemplating what I said. "But if you were only nine months old when this all occurred, then how do you remember all of this?"

"I just have very good memory." I answered vaguely. There was no need to explain all that Higanbana crap.

"Does Kimura Mikio-san know all of this?"

"No." I said as I went to the cupboards to dig up some manjū buns for Ichiro. My younger half-brother was probably confused with the series of events and was now wondering where Chinatsu was. Some sweets might settle the young boy down a bit. "He doesn't know that I'm Sachiko's daughter. He probably doesn't even know that Sachiko was raped. Women who don't receive therapy after being raped usually are ashamed of it and hide the truth. Sachiko probably just hid the truth from him."

"Do you hate her?"

I didn't answer. I honestly didn't know anymore, but I guess the silence was enough for Ane-ue to form her own answer.

"She made a decision, a bad one, but that doesn't make her a bad person. We all live with the consequences of the choices we make." Ane-ue said quietly as she looked at some faraway point in the distance. "One mistake shouldn't destroy a person's life."

"But it can."

Ane-ue didn't say anything after that. Both of us just stood in silence contemplating all the information until the water boiled. The tea was quickly prepared before both of us brought the tea and the manjū bun to the sitting area. Souji and Ani-ue we're both still questioning the Kimura's about Chinatsu's disappearance when we arrived and Ichiro was still looking as confused as ever. I guess no one told the little boy what happen and where his older sister disappeared to.

"So you're sure she was abducted." Souji asked Mikio-san as Ane-ue passed the tea out and as I placed the manjū bun in front of Ichiro with a small comforting smile. "Are you sure she didn't run away from home?"

"What?!" Mikio-san exclaimed in surprise and even with some outrage at Souji's suggestion, but Sachiko on the other hand, only began to look guilty. "Why would she run away from home, especially when there's nothing wrong?! She's been kidnapped! Why are you not doing anything about this?! Why aren't you doing your job?! What the hell are you being paid for?!"

"Kimura-san, please calm down!" Ani-ue quickly said to keep the situation from escalating before shooting a dirty look at Souji, which was ignored. "We just need to make sure we know the right place to start looking, but SOMEONE was going a little too far with the implications."

"What implications?" Souji said as his face scrunched up in unpleasant irritation. "I'm done with all the secrecy that's surrounding this whole family. The truth's coming out now. All of it."

What was…? Oh no, don't tell me Souji was going to—

"Did you know that the kid, who you were going to marry Chinatsu to, beats her?" Souji asked Mikio-san harshly without sugarcoating the truth.

"I—What?!" Mikio-san exclaimed, growing pale in his shock as he tried to make sense of everything. "No, it can't be. You're lying!" he denied as he began to shake.

"Am I?" Souji said calmly as he continued rolling along with the situation. "Did you know that Sachiko-san knew that her daughter was being beaten, but did nothing because she's afraid of Sanada Hideo, the man who raped her?"

"What?! No—!"

"Did you also know that she became pregnant after she was raped and gave birth to a baby girl nineteen years ago?"

"N-No! Stop—!"

"Do you know that the baby girl that your wife abandoned and left for death is my wife, the woman that is sitting directly across from you?" Souji said relentlessly, not even giving Mikio-san time to adjust to this new information. Just what was Souji trying to accomplish with all of this? Was he TRYING to open old wounds that were better off hidden?

"I-I—" Mikio-san continued to stutter, wide-eyed and lost.

"No… Stop it…" Sachiko said quietly as she spoke for the first time since arriving here. Her eyes were wide with horror and the palm of her hands were covering her ears, as if she were trying to block out the truth. "Why are you telling him all of this…? He doesn't need to know…"

"What do you mean by, "He doesn't need to know'?!" Mikio-san suddenly snapped with outrage at his wife, causing her to flinch and cower under his imposing form. "Is it just like how I don't need to know about Chinatsu being beaten?! What else are you not telling me?! What else are you lying to me about?!"

This was too much for Mikio-san. He couldn't take it anymore and just overloaded with this information.

"What? B-But I didn't l-lie—" Sachiko stammered pathetically as she began to sob quietly to herself.

"Well, you obviously did! You had even given birth before we had met! I was told that you were a virgin! Was even that bleeding on the night of consummation a lie?! Well, Sachiko?!"

"Well, it's easy enough to fake the bleeding." Souji answered nonchalantly as he inappropriately butt into the private argument. "All she would have to do is cut her upper thigh to fake the bleeding from a 'newly broken' hymen. Shizuka told me about that common trick. But you should know, not all women bleed after their first time."

"I can't believe this…" Mikio-san despaired before he reared his ugly rage at Souji. "I thought the Bakufu assigned you to capture this serial killer, but you—! All you do is make trouble! My daughter is out there, afraid and fighting for her life and you aren't doing anything! I'll find Chinatsu myself!"

Mikio-san grabbed his son by the wrist and stormed out of the house, most likely to look for clues to find Chinatsu, while he left his wife sobbing on the floor of Ani-ue's and Ane-ue's sitting room. As I watched all of this happen, for the first time, I began to see Sachiko as a broken woman that needed help. She wasn't the mother that didn't want me, that didn't love me. She was someone that life had been cruel to. She was someone that always needed help but never received it. In the beginning, I understood why Sachiko abandoned me, but at the same time it also felt like I didn't truly understand. Now, what I felt really did feel like true understanding. Knowing wasn't the same as true understanding. I now I could empathize with her. Was this perhaps Souji's goal the whole time?

"Souji! What the hell were you thinking?!" Ani-ue immediately tore into Souji the moment Mikio-san left the property grounds. "Our job is to capture the killer, not harass the victims!"

Souji remained undisturbed by the harsh scolding as he stared directly back into Ani-ue's outraged face without flinching. Feeling a headache coming on, Ane-ue stepped in to prevent everything from spiraling out of control.

"Rintarō, calm down." Ane-ue said as she placed a gentle hand on Ani-ue's shoulder. "I know Souji wouldn't needlessly do stupid things. I'm sure he has a reason for doing all he did, but if he didn't…well, that'd be a different story. Let him handle this. Why don't you run over to where Itou-san is staying and fetch him to investigate this case together. The kidnapping just occurred not too long ago, so I'm sure there are some new clues around still begging to be found."

Ani-ue calmed down slightly at his wife's touch and took a deep breath through his flared nostrils as he thought those words over. When he was finally calm enough to speak normally, he took another deep breath.

"Alright." Ani-ue said. "I'll do that."

Ani-ue left to find Itou-san shortly after that, allowing Ane-ue to shoot a pointed look at Souji without Ani-ue commenting on it.

"What?" Souji said, a bit peeved at the look his older sister was giving him.

"I trust you, Souji." Ane-ue said before her face grew demonically dark. "BUT if you didn't have a good reason for doing this, then there will be HELL to pay. Understand?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Souji said while looking disinterested as he picked his ear. "Don't you have some kids to babysit?"

Ane-ue gave Souji another pointed look that said, "Don't you sass me boy." before retreating into the back of the house and leaving me and Souji with Sachiko, who was still in tears on the floor. Now where does one begin to clean up this mess?

"Souji…" I said quietly as I looked up at him at loss. What do I do now?

"I'm going to go after Mikio-san now and let Ani-ue and that turd, Itou-san, handle the investigation for now." Souji said as he gently stroked my back to keep me from descending into a panic. "I want you to stay here and talk with your okaa-san."

"But…"

"No 'buts'. Just trust me on this, okay? It'll be good for you." he replied before stealing a quick kiss so I couldn't retort and headed out the door.

Right… So where do I start? Sachiko was still in tears on the floor where her husband left her. Okay, so I just needed to speak with her, right? What do I say? Wasn't there an easier way to do this? Oh, I wish Souji actually told me what to say other than just to speak to her.

"Why are you still here?" Sachiko whispered quietly through her tears, taking the responsibility of starting the conversation away from me. "Are you here to watch me suffer and to gloat? Are you happy that the woman who abandoned you will lose everything now?"

"Truthfully, I was in the beginning." I said softly as I took a seat next to her. "But now, not so much. You're not the okaa-san that abandoned me right now. You are just merely a woman who never got the help she needed."

"I don't need your pity." Sachiko bit back spitefully, her spit just narrowly missing my face.

"No, I wasn't giving you my pity. I was empathizing with you." I said as I gave her a handkerchief to wipe her tears with. She didn't bother taking it.

"What do you know?! You were never raped! You don't know how it feels!"

Really? So I didn't, did I?

"You feel ashamed of yourself even though you didn't do anything wrong. You wonder, 'Maybe if I had done something differently, then this wouldn't have happened to me.' You feel dirty for months, scrubbing at your skin until it turns red and begins to peel. You're afraid to go outside and talk to people. You're afraid you'll get close to other people because you're afraid they'll hurt you or reject you for being 'filthy'. You hear people talking behind your back, calling you slut and whore, saying that you asked for it when they can't possibly be further from the truth. You spent your life living in fear, afraid of change or anything new, but when the chance came for you to escape into a new setting, you grabbed it without looking back."

Sachiko's eyes widened at my words as her tears began to slow down. That was when I knew I struck a chord with her. Her hands quivered as she pressed them to her mouth to stifle a sob.

"You're right." I said when I knew she was now listening to me. "I was never raped, but that doesn't mean I don't know how you feel. I was sexually assaulted once and if it weren't for one of the important people in my life showing up to save me, then I would have been."

"B-But does y-your husband know about this? Would he love you if he d-did?" she asked as she continued quivering. "M-my marriage is o-over n-now b-because he knows n-now."

"My husband knows." I replied gently. I didn't know if I hated Sachiko before this, but now I knew I couldn't. She was in pain this whole time too. I could forgive her for abandoning me, but I couldn't forgive her for abandoning me at the same time, if that made sense in any way. "I was sexually assaulted before Souji and I got married. Right after I was saved from my would-be-rapist, Souji arrived on the scene. He saw my torn clothing and my bare skin bared inappropriately to the world. He saw the hand-shaped bruises all over my body, proving to him that some other man had touched me, but he didn't care. All he cared about was that I was alive. I'm sure that if the authorities didn't capture the culprits, then Souji would have tracked them down and killed the culprits himself. If your husband truly loves you, then he wouldn't let the fact that you're a rape victim get between you two."

"T-Then why is he furious with me?" she asked fearfully as she choked back another sob.

"That's because you knew about Chinatsu being beaten, yet you said nothing about it. While it's understandable that you are afraid of Sanada Hideo, that doesn't excuse you from doing your duty as Chinatsu's okaa-san. You're responsible for protecting your children from harm. It doesn't matter if you are afraid, it doesn't matter if it puts you in danger. You do it because you are responsible for another human that you brought into this world."

"I-I—" she stuttered brokenly before she fell silent again to stifle some sobs.

"Shh, you'll be okay." I said as I helped her wipe away some tears with the handkerchief. It was strange. I was the one being bitter the whole time over the fact that she abandoned me, but I was now the one that was comforting her. It felt like there was something cruel, yet beautiful with the way things turned out. "When you feel like you can, tell me about how you were raped. Speaking about it is the first step to recovery."

"I-I—" she stuttered before she managed to finally speak. "I was—raped—by a man that looked like Sanada-san, not by Sanada-san himself. I was raped by his older brother."

Oh, woah! I honestly really didn't expect that!

"That man was a handsome man that lived in the next village over. He was charming and all the other girls adored him and talked about him all the time. Like all the other girls, I had a crush on him, but I wasn't like all the other girls. I was afraid to talk to him. I was nervous enough just looking at him, so I was pleasantly surprised when he came to speak to me one day. I was excited and thrilled when he began displaying more interest in me and it wasn't until after I was raped I knew why he chose me. I was pretty, but too quiet and timid to fight back. He knew he could get away with raping me. I lived in fear of that man until he moved away to Osaka and it was around this time I met Mikio. Mikio was kind and gentle with me, the complete opposite of that man. And when Mikio asked me to marry him, I said yes immediately. It was my chance to escape from my past."

"I see…" I said. "So what will you do now?"

By now, Sachiko had stopped crying. It felt like there was suddenly some fierce spirit possessing her now that the tears were gone. She felt different now. She must have realized something important.

"I'm going to find the bastard who dared to take Chinatsu." she said with a new ferocity as she curled her fists up in her lap. It was strange to see this new, bold expression on Sachiko's face, but I can't say that it didn't fit her. "You're right. I'm done being ruled by my fears, not when my daughter needs me. You're coming with me. We're going to pay Sanada-san and his bastard of a son a visit."

* * *

When Sachiko and I arrived at Sanada-san's house, we were surprise by what we saw. Sanada-san was looking completely confused and ruffled right outside his house while his son looked absolutely terrified as he stared wide-eyed at Mikio-san, who was face down on the ground and being restrained by Souji. Poor little Ichiro, the little boy really looked confused now. He was standing behind Souji with tears in his eyes. First his sister goes missing, then his father snaps at his mother, then lastly, his father goes crazy on a family friend.

"Oh, Shizuka!" Souji seemed to chirp cheerfully when he saw me. "Fancy seeing you here. Want to help me tie Mikio-san up so he doesn't suddenly go berserk again and attack Sanada-san?"

Erm…what?

"I…um… You know, I thought you would be with Ani-ue and Itou looking for clues." I said as I peered at Mikio-san perplexedly, who was still struggling to get free from under Souji's foot.

"DAMN IT! RELEASE ME YOU BASTARD!" Mikio-san roared from beneath Souji's foot. "DAMN THAT BASTARD! WHAT DID HELL DID YOU DO TO MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER! I TRUSTED YOU, HIDEO!"

"Oh, will you shut up!" Souji said to Mikio-san before giving him a firm kick across his head to knock him out, earning my disapproval. "What? He wasn't calming down." Souji said his excuse childishly.

"But that doesn't mean that you should kick him to shut him up." I retorted as I frowned at Souji. "Well, so are you going to tell me what happened here?"

"Well…" Souji began.

_After pissing him off, I figured that Mikio-san would go after Sanada Hideo for revenge. I figured that the man did love his wife and would want to kill his former best friend for raping her. Then there was the case of Chinatsu. While I'm pretty sure that Sanada-san wasn't the killer because of all the proof against him, Mikio-san probably wouldn't care. In fact, Mikio-san would probably accuse Sanada-san's kid as the killer despite the kid being as thin as a twig. That brat may beat Chinatsu, but he wasn't the serial killer. Someone of the brat's physical stature couldn't possibly be the killer. He didn't have enough physical strength to saw through bone. As I arrived at my destination, I witness exactly what I was expecting._

_"__YOU BASTARD! I TRUSTED YOU!" Mikio-san yelled at Sanada-san while Ichiro stood off to the side as he watched his otou-san rage on in fear._

_Sanada-san's brat looked like he was about to shit himself. Well, that serves that brat right. I'd say he could use some more scaring._

_"__YOU RAPE MY WIFE, THEN YOUR BASTARD OF A SON DECIDES TO BEAT MY DAUGHTER?! WHERE IS YOUR BASTARD SON KEEPING MY DAUGHTER NOW, YOU FUCKING KIDNAPPER! WHERE IS SHE?!"_

_"__Mikio?!" Sanada-san asked in a stunned surprise as he stepped between Mikio-san and his own son. "What's going on? What are you talking about?!"_

_"__I'LL KILL YOU AND YOUR PATHETIC SON! NO, I'LL MAKE YOU WATCH ME SKIN YOUR SON ALIVE AND MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE DEAD!"_

_"__Otou-san?" the brat asked his otou-san shakily as he prepared to bolt back into the house. "W-What's wrong with Oji-san?"_

_"__I don't know, but I want you to run back into the house. I'll try to calm him down." Sanada-san said to his brat son._

_Well, I guess it's about time for me to step in now. If Mikio-san ended up killing Sanada-san, then I don't think Shizuka would forgive me and I wanted this whole issue to be resolved without another incident._

_It was at that moment, Mikio-san charged at Sanada-san. Mikio-san grabbed Sanada-san by the collar of his kimono and slammed him against the wall, knocking the air out of Sanada-san._

_"__YOU THINK RAPING MY WIFE WOULD BE FUN?! YOU THINK THAT YOUR SON SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO BEAT AND KIDNAP MY DAUGHTER?! YOU'RE DEAD WRONG! DEAD!"_

_"__Mikio!" Sanada-san gasped out as he struggled for air. "C-Calm down! I literally have no idea what you're talking about!"_

_"__YES YOU DO!"_

_Aww, did I really have to stop them from fighting now? I will admit that it's really amusing to watch this happen. Er… Oh wow, I did not realize I have come to enjoy watching fights so much. Maybe it was a really good idea to take a break from Shinsengumi work for a while. _

_Rushing in, I grabbed Mikio-san's wrist to force him to release Sanada-san. Sanada-san landed on his butt with his back against the wall when he was release as he gasped for air while I quickly twisted Mikio-san's arm behind his back and knelt down on his back to restrain him._

_"__Now, let's not be hasty." I said to Mikio-san as I put down more weight when I felt him struggling to throw me off his back. "Killing Sanada-san won't help your daughter, especially since the killer isn't him or even remotely related to him."_

_"__But it sure will bring justice for my wife! RELEASE ME, OKITA-SAN!" Mikio-san hollered at me._

_Rude much? I guess I won't be getting off of him anytime soon. Now all I need to do is to wait for Shizuka to arrive with her okaa-san. Hmm… I wonder if Shizuka will reward me for this. It would be nice if we could provide Ryota with a sibling soon, especially after seeing how well he played with Kuma. Did we have to wait two years between the births of each kid?_

"Well, I guess now you know that your husband still cares for you." I said as I turned to face Sachiko only to realize that she wasn't standing next to me anymore and was kneeling in front of her son while hugging him tightly.

"What's going on?!" Sanada-san now demanded with his hand on his son's shoulder. "I think I was patient enough before, but I want to know why I'm being accused of rape by my best friend and why he's saying my son beats his daughter and kidnapped her as well."

"It's a long story." Souji said nonchalantly as he stepped off of Mikio-san's back. "I'm sure that Sachiko-san can do an excellent job explaining everything. Meanwhile, Shizuka and I have a job to complete. We'll come back and check on you guys later."

Souji quickly escorted me off as we quickly made our way over to where Ani-ue and Itou were investigating the location where Chinatsu went missing. When we were finally out of earshot of my, apparently, very messed up family, Souji let out a loud breath that sounded like it had been suppressed for some time.

"So did you enjoy a heart-to-heart with your okaa-san?" he then asked as he carefully studied my face and examined it for any micro-expressions.

"We did speak to each other, but I don't know if I enjoyed it or not. Oh, and apparently, Sanada-san did not rape Sachiko, it was Sanada-san's onii-san." I answered thoughtfully before I scowled at Souji in displeasure. "Did you have to bring this up right after we discovered Chinatsu had been kidnapped? She's fighting for her life right now and you had to distract us all with this old history?"

"It was going to come out anyways." Souji said as he calmly defended his choice. "Besides, if it didn't come out now, then I'm sure it would interfere with the investigation later on. And I didn't distract everyone. Ani-ue and Itou-san are scouring the crime scene for clues right now. Despite how much I dislike Itou-san, putting together vague hints are what he's good at. Now, let's go meet up with them. We'll rescue you're imōto before it's too late, I promise."

* * *

"So what have we discovered?" Souji asked Itou and Ani-ue the next morning when we were all done scouring the crime scene and back at the house.

"Only that this killer is extremely good at moving undetected." Ani-ue growled in frustration as he slammed his fist on the table, causing the cups of tea to rattle.

"Well, that in itself is a clue." Itou said as he continued to sip at the tea Ane-ue brought him without flinching at the loud thump from earlier. "Everyone we asked said that they saw nothing suspicious and based on the lack of a mess in the scene of the crime, we can deduce that there was no struggle."

"On the body of the previous victim we recovered, there were no traces of chemicals surrounding the victim's mouth or nose, meaning the victim was not rendered unconscious through chemical means." I added. "It'll be unlikely that the perpetrator used this method on Chinatsu. Serial killers are people of habit."

"Then, I also doubt our perpetrator used other means to render Kimura Chinatsu unconscious. Anyone would have noticed a person carrying away an unconscious child, especially with all the murders occurring." Itou continued to add onto my thoughts. "If there was no struggle and the victim wasn't rendered unconscious then it is likely our victim and our past victims knew the murderer."

"Then we know what tools were used on the past victims." Ani-ue said as he added in his own thoughts before he looked to Souji.

"If we find those tools used then we find the murderer." Souji finished. "Now, we know that the murderer isn't one of the carpenters living in this area, but I can't shake the feeling that we're missing something…"

"We need to go back to reexamine Hanamura Raiden." Itou then said as he placed his thumb on his chin to show that he was deep in thought. "He doesn't use his workshop anymore because of his aging body, but he rents it out to people to use. I'm sure that also means that he rents the individual tools out too. We need to find out who uses his tools and workshop. Once we get a list of suspects, we go around the neighborhood and ask people about the individuals on the list. Our criminal will be the one of the individuals on the list and will most likely be one of the most well-liked by the people living in the neighborhood."

* * *

"Okay, so what do we have?" Souji asked me as looked over my shoulder at the piece of paper in my hands. We were back at the house again to discuss what we had discovered.

Hanamura Raiden was nice enough to relinquish the names of the people who rented his tools and workshop. There was no struggle to get the names from him and he even gave me a piece of candy. The old man was alright in my books. He almost reminded me of my own grandfather in my past life.

"There are a total of six people who use and borrow the workshop from Hanamura Raiden and currently only two people have borrowed tools in their possession." I answered Souji and pointed to the two names. "There's Hashimoto Takeo and Takenaka Haru. Both men are well-liked by the community. Apparently Hashimoto spends all of his free time playing with the children in the neighborhood. There's no kid that doesn't know him. Takenaka, on the other hand, is a fisherman. He's good with children and whenever he catches extra fish, he gives it to the children and tells them to take it home to share with their families."

"Is there any way to narrow it down even more?" Souji asked while scowling at Itou, who was standing rather close to me as he too looked over my other shoulder to see the list of people.

"Not without more information." Ani-ue said as he stood up from his seat and once again tied his katana to his waist. "We'll split up again. Itou-san and I will go examine Hashimoto Takeo while you and Shizuka go examine Takenaka Haru."

* * *

"So how may I help you people?" Takenaka asked me and Souji kindly with a gentle smile after he let us into his rather spacious house.

This man lived here by himself in such a spacious house? It wasn't overly large and fancy by any means and was actually quite modest, but there was no way a fisherman could afford such a house to himself in the heart of Edo. Most people of his occupation lived in row houses, not individual houses.

"We're actually here to ask about the murders going on in the area." Souji said with a friendly smile to mirror Takenaka. "Since you're so friendly with all the children in the area, I thought the children might have told you things that they didn't tell the other adults. Like things that can help us capture the murderer."

"Ah, let's see…" Takenaka said as he scratched the back of his balding head. "They haven't really said much really. It's such a shame though. Think of all those wasted young lives that have been cut short."

"So you know nothing." Souji said before the smile on his face dissolved into a serious and harsh expression. "Then can you tell me where you were for the past four weeks? And don't tell me you want to spare me pointless details. I want to know it all."

"So someone is suspicious of me?" the man asked without his smile disappearing. "Well, I have been here in Edo the past four weeks. I've been here at my house, out on the sea fishing, or out in the warehouse sorting through my catches. Oh, and the market to purchase food. You can ask anyone and they can validate where I was. I was never alone."

"Tell me about your warehouse then." Souji said as he continued to pressure the man, but the man just continued to smile back annoyingly. Would it seriously hurt the man to look at least a little nervous? "Do you work alone in your warehouse?"

"Unfortunately, yes." the man said before his smile drooped into a sad-looking frown. "My warehouse is located in the haunted complex of warehouses down by a section of the harbor. People are afraid of even going near the area, hence why I never get any help."

"Haunted?" I parroted. What did he mean by that?

"Yes, the complex of warehouses surrounding my own was once owned by a very successful swordfish fisherman many years ago, but one day, that fisherman and his coworkers died out at sea when they encountered a typhoon. People say that their spirits gather and haunt the warehouses, lamenting their death out at sea. In fact, you can hear the groaning and the screaming of the spirits on some days."

"Is that so?" Souji said as he narrowed his eyes at the man. "Then why don't you move to another warehouse?"

"I can't afford it. I can't buy a new one if no one buys the warehouse I use now and no one wants a haunted warehouse. Besides, I think the spirits are pretty harmless. They'll leave you alone if you leave them alone and occasionally leave them an offering of fresh fish."

"I see." Souji said before shooting me a look. "But you say people can validate where you are all the time. How can they if you're completely alone 'at the warehouse'? How can we know you are actually in your warehouse and not somewhere else at the time and, you know, killing little kids?"

"That's an easy question." Takenaka answered as his friendly smile reappeared on his face. "There's only one entrance point to get to and to leave my warehouse in the haunted complex. There are always colleagues that see me enter and leave. They can give you the exact times too. Are there any other questions?"

"What about the carpenter tools you rent from Hanamura Raiden?" Souji asked as he began to growl in frustration when he realized the pressure was doing nothing to the man. "What do you use them for?"

"To repair my fishing boat!" Takenaka chirped cheerfully. "The sea can be a harsh mistress after all. If I didn't do repairs on my boat then I'm sure the sea would have smashed my boat to pieces already! Any other questions? I do need to hurry and get to work. I'm already late today."

"No, but I am curious about your house." I said curiously. I was still suspicious of the man, but I wanted to know how he ended up living here too. It might be important later on. "Fishermen don't usually live in individual houses like this and it's quite spacious too. How did you end up living here?"

"Ah, it use to belong to my wife's parents, but they passed away several years ago when they fell ill. The house was then passed to my wife and me, but unfortunately, my wife also passed away a few years after her parents. She died from pneumonia. It was just me and my son living here for the next few years until my son died as well. He died from the measles."

"I'm sorry to hear that." I replied with sympathy. Oh geez, watching your family die one-by-one due to illness was harsh. There was no denying that. "Did they at least get a proper burial?"

"My parents-in-law and my wife did, but I didn't have enough money for my son. The best I could do was burry him in the yard with a tall stone to serve as a tombstone." he seemed to answer regretfully. "Unfortunately, I must be on my way now. But you and your husband are free to stay and look around if you are still suspicious of me. I have nothing to hide and if searching my house completely will prove my innocence then I welcome you to it."

As Takenaka left the house for work, Souji made a big show of kicking the ground in frustration.

"Damn it!" Souji growled as he glared at the floor. "Time's running out and we haven't gotten anywhere. Plus, this man pisses me off. He keeps smiling! Just who the hell is the killer if not him?!"

After a moment, Souji surprised me by breaking out of the way he was acting and peered over to the door. What the…? Was the act of frustration all just an act? What was Souji doing?

"Shizuka, come with me to the yard. If my line of thinking is correct, then I might be able to get our proof." Souji said as he began heading towards the yard, grabbing one of the large wooden shovels against the wall as I trotted after him.

"Wait! Souji, don't tell me you're going to desecrate the poor kid's grave!" I exclaimed in alarm when Souji stood over the grave with the shovel. I quickly reached over and tried to take the shovel from him, but he refused to let go. "I didn't take you as someone that destroys graves when you don't get what you want. If it makes you feel any better, I'm still suspicious of him too." I said as I looked at Souji in concern. We don't have time for this shit, not when Chinatsu was in danger!

"Serial killers have to start somewhere and if they have a child or children, then their first victim is usually their own offspring." Souji explained to me calmly before he drove the point of the shovel into the dirt and began his work. "And serial killers always keep a souvenir from important kills. It would be his kid's bones in this case."

My eyes widened in realization before went to retrieve another shovel. Souji did have a point. Then before I started helping him dig, I muttered a small silent prayer to ask for forgiveness to whatever power was out there. The first bone we hit was a femur. It had been sawed in half and there were small chips missing from the bone, marks made by a chisel. The other bones were in tack, but also had damage on them that was caused by a chisel.

Oh God… Takenaka Haru really was the serial killer and the haunted warehouse was most likely where he did all his killing! It was where all the screams of the "spirits" were heard, and people were afraid to enter the area, giving him the freedom to do what he wanted!

"Damn it!" Souji snarled as he threw the shovel to the ground before he grabbed my wrist and started sprinting towards the harbor. "People knew where he was at all times, but they didn't actually know what he was doing in the warehouses! We need to go now! I may have bought us some time since Takenaka bought my act and thinks we won't be coming after him, but he's probably going to still take precautions. He won't act immediately, but he will dispose of evidence and that includes his victim!"


	85. Chapter 82

I apologize for the late update. These past few weeks have been hectic. Between finals, projects, and interviews for my internship, I barely even had time to sleep anymore, but on the bright side, summer school is finally over and finally can have my measly two weeks of break before fall quarter starts. But yay! I'm so close to graduating now. Fall quarter should be my last quarter at school. Got to start looking for that official career building job now.

* * *

**Chapter 82**

"Revenge, the sweetest morsel to the mouth that ever was cooked in hell." ― Walter Scott, The Heart of Mid-Lothian

"Wait! Souji!" I cried from behind as he pulled me along while he weaved through the busy city crowd. "I know we need to get to Chinatsu as soon as possible, but what are we going to do when we get to the haunted complex of warehouses? All we know is that Takenaka's warehouse is one of the warehouses in that complex. We don't know which warehouse is actually his or which ones he uses."

"We search all of them." Souji just merely replied, oversimplifying the situation as he continued to running towards the harbor while somewhat dragging me along.

"That won't work! There are too many warehouses to search through and we don't have enough time! If what you said was true, that Takenaka might have been spooked when we were questioning him. Then there's a chance that Takenaka won't wait his usual three weeks before he kills Chinatsu if he wants to get rid of all the evidence!" I gasped desperately as I nearly tripped over a short kid nearby. "We need more people to help us search! Take a left at the next street. Itou and Ani-ue should still be at Hashimoto Takeo's house questioning him. We can swing by and grab those two on the way to the harbor."

"Got it. So left here?"

"Yeah." I called back just as Souji made a sharp turn around the corner of the building while pulling me with him.

I had to quickly correct my stumble to keep myself from falling. While I was certain we needed to hurry to fetch Anu-ue and Itou so we could get to Chinatsu in time, I could not help myself but wish that Souji would take into consideration how much shorter my legs were compared to his. It was still pretty hard to keep up with him despite him making the effort to pull me along.

While in reality, it took only a matter of seconds to reach the house where Ani-ue and Itou were questioning Hashimoto Takeo, but it felt like there was no time passing. The sense of time and travel all seemed to blend together into strange sensation where it was impossible to tell everything apart. There was just too much happening at once and too much to process. All that I could clearly see in my mind in that moment was that Chinatsu was in danger in one of those warehouses in the large haunted complex at the harbor and that I had short legs.

Upon reaching Takeo's house, Souji, without regard for politeness and patience, slammed the door open without knocking first. The door slid open with a loud bang, causing everyone siting inside to jump in there seat before their eyes shot over to the entry way. Takeo stared at Souji and me with shocked confusion while Ani-ue and Itou seemed less than pleased with the rude interruption and even more so when their eyes landed on Souji. Ani-ue's glare looked especially threatening from where I was standing, and as for Itou's annoyed arch of the eyebrow, I could really care less.

"Souji, I hope you have an explanation for your rude interruption." Ani-ue scolded Souji sternly as he crossed his arms over his chest. Neither Souji nor I flinched at Ani-ue's stern scolding. It wasn't the time, plus, Ani-ue didn't seem nearly as scary as Anu-ue did. The women in the Okita family were all something else. "I certainly hope that this level of rudeness isn't the norm for you."

"Well I say it is." Itou mumbled under his breath. As much as Souji and I would have loved to retort to that, we didn't have time for a pissing contest right now.

"Takenaka's the murderer." Souji quickly explained as he ignored Itou's jab for the time being. "We need to go now. Because he was questioned earlier, there was a good chance he will dispose of all the evidence, including Chinatsu, soon. I did buy us some time by pretending that I believed that he wasn't the culprit, but that's not enough."

"What?!" Ani-ue exclaimed as he shot to his feet and accidently knocked over the cup of tea that Hashimoto must have provided for him.

"If you knew Takenaka was the culprit then why didn't you arrest him after questioning him?" Itou-san asked as he, almost too elegantly, furrowed his brow.

"Because I didn't get the evidence I needed until after Takenaka left." Souji said before he took off towards the harbor again while dragging me along with him. "We don't have time for this. We need to act. Now."

"Souji! Wait!" I heard Ani-ue cry after Souji, but when Souji didn't stop, I heard Ani-ue mumble a few more things and Itou apologizing to Hashimoto before two sets of footsteps started running after us.

"Then do you know of the location where Takenaka is keeping the victim?" Itou asked the moment he caught up to Souji and me, which I noted didn't take very long. Since when has Itou been able to run so fast?

"The so called 'haunted' complex of warehouses on Edo Bay[1] in the Port of Edo[2]." I answered as I avoided another stumble. Thank goodness I decided to wear a hakama today instead of my normal tomesode, otherwise I'm sure I would have face-planted several times already.

"There?!" Ani-ue exclaimed with a troubled expression sitting on his face. "That complex is huge with over twenty warehouses. It'll be impossible to search all of them effectively with just the four of us. Which reminds me," Ani-ue paused for a second as he shifted his eyes onto me for a brief moment before he focused on the naginata that was strapped to my back, "is it okay for Shizuka to be coming with us. We're going after a murderer."

"I'm going!" I instantly snapped back as I shrugged off Ani-ue's concerned look like it was water. Chinatsu was my own dislikable little sister, but she was my sister none the less. Wasn't it the job of the older sibling to look after the younger sibling? "I'm going!" I repeated again. "You won't stop me."

"She'll be fine." Souji replied to Ani-ue with a confident grin as he face forwards to focus on the road. "Okita women aren't fragile, even if Shizuka is one only through marriage. Shizuka can hold her own. Besides, we need all the manpower we can get right now if the 'haunted' complex has more than twenty different warehouses."

It was a busy day even through there had been disturbing murders occurring in the city. It was the Port of Edo in Edo Bay and almost nothing could disturb the normal bustle of the fishing business, except for maybe a tsunami. There were fishermen scattered all across the harbor going about their business; merchants here and there discussing exports and imports; and even foreign trade, which was illegal at this port at the moment, occurring at the moment. All in all, this port looked absolutely normal, as if to say that nothing unusually violent had been occurring. We all paused once we arrived at the port to take in the busy view before we quickly reoriented ourselves. Itou in particular looked at the foreign vessels with disgust before he quickly followed Ani-ue, who had now taken charge in leading us since he was the one that did know the area best.

As Souji pulled me along with him when we approached the large "haunted" complex of warehouse, even at a distance, I could see why people refused to enter the area. Just from what I could see was enough to deter me if I didn't have business there. The many warehouses that stood in the area were dark and dilapidated. Some of the warehouses had holes in the roof where the wooden planks had rotted away. A good deal of the warehouses had moss or some sort of growth occurring on the outside because of the plentiful moisture available in the air due to the sea being so nearby, and because the wood used to build the warehouses had not been maintained. The wood of the warehouses themselves had been warped and stained a disgusting gray color from the elements and many were beginning to splinter. Even at a distance, I could hear the buildings creak as the ocean wind slammed against the walls. Even the wooden fence surrounding the complex was falling apart. Despite it still being daytime, I could already tell that those buildings were the stuff of nightmares at night. They just looked so eerie and lonely.

We came to a screeching halt the moment we arrived at the front of the complex. Like Takenaka said, there was only one opening into the complex. The fence surrounding the complex only had one opening in the front that acted as the gateway. Even though the fence itself was falling apart, there were no openings or cracks large enough for a fully grown adult to wiggle through, and the height of the fence was fairly tall. No one would be able to climb the fence without drawing a crowd of people to point and stare.

"We split up here." Ani-ue ordered sternly as he turned to face the rest of us. "Itou-san and I will take the paths on the right. Souji, you and Shizuka take the paths on the left. Capture Takenaka alive if possible, but if he struggles, kill him. Our first priority will be to rescue the victim, who is still most likely alive."

With a silent, affirmative nod from each person, we each split to go our separate ways, but Souji quickly grabbed my wrist to obtain my attention shortly.

"If you come across Takenaka and you feel like you can't handle him, then I want you to scream for me. I'll come." Souji said to me as he looked me in the eye to make sure I was really hearing him. When I nodded at him, Souji quickly nodded back and bolted into his own section to search, leaving me completely alone.

Now that everyone had split up to search the complex, I threw myself into my own section to search as I sprinted down my own path to conduct my own search. There had to be a better and more efficient way to conduct this search. Despite having four people in this search, there were more than twenty warehouses. At this rate, it would still take too long to search the complex and Chinatsu might not have that long! Think! What did I know? Did I know any information that could help narrow down this search? Well, Takenaka did have his own warehouse he used commercially for his fishing. That warehouse is most likely going to be the one warehouse out of all the others here to be well maintained. Another thing I discovered upon rebirth was that most people in Japan were concerned about the whole issue of cleanliness. People would never put anything dirty near what may become a potential meal. So it would be unlikely that Takenaka would kill the victims in the same warehouse he processed his fish, especially if he had many abandoned warehouses at his disposal. Damn it! What other clues where there?! My mind was running blank and the heavy scent of rotten fish didn't help at all.

This whole area reeked and there were fish bones strewn everywhere. These abandoned warehouses were once used to process and store fish, so it would make sense that the whole area would smell of rotten fish, but underneath the rancid smell of rotten fish, I could make out the heavy scent of blood. The outside wall of one of the warehouses was a disturbing rust color, the color of dried blood. What could that mean? Wait! Why would there be blood painted on the outside? The blood was clearly old since it was dry, but at the same time it was recent enough that the blood had not even begun to flake off yet. The blood wasn't random splatter on the walls either. It had looked like it had been painted on the wall on purpose and it wasn't a simple brush stroke either. It looked like the blood was brushed on the wall with a large pattern in mind. Stepping back as much as possible in the narrow pathways between the warehouses, it was possible to look at the whole wall at once. Once I could see the whole wall at once, I could also see what the blood-drawn pattern on the wall was. It was に, the number two written in Hiragana.

_"… There have been four victims so far and there is currently one child missing right now. She disappeared about three weeks ago so her corpse is probably going to turn up soon…"_

Takenaka wrote the number two on the outside of this abandoned warehouse in blood, which I was pretty sure was written in human blood. Could it be that he numbered the warehouses where he kept in and killed his victims based on which number his victim was on the kill list…? Souji did say that serial killers were people of habit. Takenaka had killed five children recently and if I counted his son, the very first victim, then there would have already been six casualties. If this man labeled each warehouse by writing a number on the outside wall with the blood of his victims then there should be at least six warehouse with numbers on them. There could be a seventh number if he labeled the warehouse before killing his victim. In fact, I was pretty sure that this man labeled the building before he killed his victim. It took a lot of blood to brush those large numbers on the walls. This man was known to cut a limb off each one of his victims right before he killed them. My guess is that's when he got all the blood to label his killing grounds. If there was, then なな would be where Chinatsu was being kept, but that would also mean that Chinatsu didn't have much time left.

So, assuming that my theory was correct then I would know what to look for, but that didn't tell me where I needed to look. There were over twenty warehouses in this complex in an organized grid. I couldn't see through the large buildings to pinpoint where なな was written and the buildings were so close together that I could only see one warehouse at a time.

I know! I needed a bird's eye view! If I could just look down at the warehouses from above from a slight angle then I could pinpoint the warehouses that had blood numbers painted onto the walls. Doing the best I could, I scaled the side of warehouse に in order to get to the roof. The warehouses were fairly tall and usually, scaling up the side of a wall would have been difficult, but these warehouses were dilapidated. While some of the wood was rotten and could not be grabbed, this also meant there were more footholds available because the rotting wood created holes in the once smooth surface. Once I clambered to the roof with little difficulty, though I did slip once on a piece of broken wood, I could see the several walls of several warehouses at once. Immediately, I could see warehouses さん and よん in front of where I was standing while my view of the walls of the other numbered warehouses were obstructed by the other warehouses of little interest. From what I could gather based on what I saw, each numbered warehouse was placed two warehouses away horizontally and vertically away from each other and the outside fence surrounding the complex. As if to prove my theory even further, I looked behind me and saw the number いち two warehouses away from where I was currently standing and if I looked to my left then I would see the number ろく two warehouses away as well. With this information, I was sure I could locate where Chinatsu was located immediately.

Instead of climbing back down from the roof to head to my destination, I ran on top of the roof before hopping to the next building over. The warehouses were close enough to roof-hop without much risk of missing my landing and falling, and this was much faster than weaving through and around each large warehouse. As I approached my destination, I could already see な on the wall in blood, but it wasn't complete. That meant that Chinatsu already had a limb severed, but was still alive! However, as I got closer to that warehouse, something was different from the other numbered warehouses. Unlike the other warehouse there was a trail of blood leading from somewhere inside the building to outside. And another thing was it was silent. There was no sound of agony coming from within the building and there was no sound of the culprit. Why was it that Takenaka left the incomplete number outside unfinished? And the trail of blood leading outside…

Before I could process my thoughts any further, a desperate cry of horror and complete pain was heard from somewhere not too far away. It sounded like Chinatsu!

As quickly as I could, I began roof-hopping towards the sound of that terrified cry. One warehouse away, I spotted Chinatsu crawling away as fast as she could on her back as she inched away from Takenaka, who was towering over her form with a bloodied dozūki in his hands. Her right arm was missing.

"Well, well, well. Aren't you the clever one for escaping while I was writing your number outside?" Takenaka asked with a dark, insane-looking, twisted smile on his face. "It's quite amazing considering you only have one arm now."

Chinatsu could do nothing but whimper and cower in fear and agony below. It was then Takenaka's twisted expression grew even more twisted as he let out a hysterical sounding laughter.

"You can't even speak anymore?!" he snarled at her as he took another step towards her as he raised his weapon over his head. "Scream. Scream! No one's coming for you in this rotten world! They've all abandoned you!"

SHIT!

I needed to get down there now! But there was no way down. There were no stable footholds on the walls of the warehouse I was standing on right now. There was no way I could climb down and even if I could, there would be no way I could get down there in time. Maybe I could jump…? No, that wasn't logically sound. At this height, if I jumped then I would most likely break a bone, maybe fracture if I was lucky. I wasn't someone who could immediately jump into a fight after breaking or fracturing a bone. I would most likely get killed by Takenaka while my body was processing the shock of breaking a bone if I did jump. That would be of no help to anyone. Damn it! If only I had a gun or a projectile of some sort!

It was then I heard the scuffling of wood on the warehouse across from me. When I looked…it was Souji?! He decided to travel on the roof tops too?! All in a mere matter of seconds I saw Souji narrow his eyes at the situation below before he exchanged silent glances with me, and I instantly understood. Shortly afterwards, Souji jumped. His pain tolerance was far higher than mine and he was someone who was able to instantly fight after receiving a broken bone.

As Souji was in freefall, he drew his katana and pulled it in front of him. Takenaka quickly jumped back when he noticed a shadow being cast on the ground where he was once standing. Souji landed on his feet between Chinatsu and Takenaka with his sword drawn and ready for combat despite the audible crack heard after his feet touched the ground. Shit.

Souji was strong, but even he had his limits. He was at a severe disadvantage if he had to fight with a broken leg. In fact, he shouldn't even be standing on his broken leg right now! I needed to get down there now! There! One warehouse away was a warehouse with a sturdy wall and plenty of footholds.

"Didn't think we would catch you, did you?" Souji asked Takenaka in a taunting manner while suppressing a wince from the pain caused by breaking his leg. "This is it for you. You won't be getting away, especially now that you've maliciously harmed my imōto."

Takenaka, who seemed shocked at Souji's sudden appearance, quickly recovered and laughed at Souji's words. "You? What can you do with that broken leg of yours? Even a deaf man could have heard that loud crack!"

"Shut up!" Souji snarled as he lunged forward for a thrust, but with his broken leg, the speed and amount of power that went into that thrust was laughably easy to block and dodge.

Takenaka jumped back to avoid being speared by Souji before he started laughing like a mad man as he brought his saw down to strike at Souji. Souji quickly blocked the strike, but pressure was immediately put on his broken leg, causing his guard to waver slightly as he winced.

"Okita Souji, the feared 'sword' of the Shinsengumi." Takenaka recited mockingly at Souji before spitting in Souji's face. "So this is the best the Mibu Wolves have to offer? That's pathetic!"

"It seems that you forgot something." Souji growled darkly before he raised his face to reveal a confident smirk. "Wolves always travel in packs."

Right after Souji spoke, Souji pushed Takenaka's saw off of his blade and stepped to the side, allowing the tip of my weapon to shoot out from behind him at Takenaka without getting speared himself. Takenaka instantly jumped back in surprise, but he wasn't fast enough. While I didn't manage to inflict a severe enough injury on him to render him helpless, my blade did catch his arm and cut away enough muscle to make him drop his weapon.

I would have to say that most of the time, being small and short was a severe disadvantage in battle. That meant that I didn't have as much physical strength. I could also be easily overpowered by many people whom were taller than me, but my small size also meant that I was suited for surprise attacks. I could hide in places where most people could not, like behind Souji, meaning that I could pop up from almost anywhere.

"Che!" Takenaka growled with a scowl on his face as he slowly backed away from Souji and me.

It was easy enough to defeat a skilled but injured warrior protecting a liability on the battlefield, but even Takenaka knew that he would have no chance of winning against two people, especially if one of those two people wasn't injured. While holding his injured arm to his body in an attempt to stop the bleeding, Takenaka made a break for it, taking advantage of Souji's broken leg and my slow running speed.

"Damn it!" Souji growled before he attempted to run after Takenaka, but as soon as Souji stepped forwards, he winced fell to his knee. His broken leg had enough for one day.

"Souji!" I cried as I quickly caught him before he could fall on his face. "Crap! We don't have time for this! You stay here with Chinatsu and stop the bleeding. I'll go after Takenaka myself! If you see Itou or Ani-ue, send one of them to me for backup and the other person to go retrieve Chinatsu's arm."

I quickly picked up my naginata again before I stood up to go run after Takenaka, but before I could take off, Souji grabbed my wrist.

"Shizuka, be careful." he said seriously as he looked me in the eyes. "You'll be fighting him on his territory. Don't let yourself be caught off guard."

"I'll be careful." I whispered back before I bolted after Takenaka.

Takenaka didn't get far by the time I spotted him running ahead. The sudden blood loss from the deep injury I inflicted must have begun slowing him down. When he realized that I was still on his tail, he quickly made a sharp turn and ducked into a nearby abandoned warehouse. I swiftly followed after the man, but as soon as I entered the building, he was nowhere to be seen.

The interior of the warehouse was dark and dank. The only light streaming into the decrepit building was coming from the open door and the holes in the roof. There was only one way in and out of the building and the holes in the walls were not large enough to have a full grown man escape out of. He was in here. I gripped my naginata tightly as I lightly stepped into the warehouse while I attempted to avoid stepping on the remains of old fish bones that littered the floor. The old fishing equipment and nets that remained in this warehouse only added to the scare factor. I swear that this was like one of those scenes where the killer would just pop out of nowhere and hack a poor unfortunate soul into pieces, but unlike in those horror movies, that was totally a plausible scenario. I slowly and carefully scanned the one-roomed warehouse as I looked for hiding spots. I saw nothing out of place, but then how would I truly know if anything was out of place? I wasn't familiar with this place like Takenaka was. A slight creak of the wooden floor sounded behind me. I spun around with my weapon ready in front of me only to find a whaling harpoon sailing through the air and towards my face.

Quickly ducking, I managed to avoid being speared through the head by the harpoon and by using the momentum that I built up from ducking and rolled to the left to avoid another harpoon, but by doing so, I trapped myself. With the room being so dark, I didn't notice the fishing net until I rolled into it and had gotten tangled in it.

"Oh lookie!" Takenaka squealed like an overexcited child as he emerged from shadows with another harpoon in his hand. "Looks like the fisherman has caught a big fish for tonight's dinner."

Shit! Things weren't good. I'd be a goner if I didn't do something fast!

The net! I was tangled in it, but whatever the net was hanging on wasn't very stable. Squinting up into the darkness, I could make out that the net was being held up against the wall by a series of hooks. The hooks holding the net up were firmly attached to a large plank of wood, but the plank of wood itself was no longer holding up as well as it once did in the past. If I pulled on the net hard enough then I could cause the plank of wood to fall and if I had the right timing then I could use the falling wood to hit Takenaka and stun him. I needed to wait for him to get a little closer before I could act with confidence that the plank of wood would hit him.

"Pity big fish don't seem to taste as sweet as the small fish, but I'm sure it will be just as delicious." Takenaka taunted me as he slowly got closer.

I growled at him in response to his taunt, but nothing else. A little closer. I just needed him to come a little closer.

Just as he was roughly about three feet away from me, I pulled on the net with as much force as I could muster. I was greatly rewarded when I heard a loud creak then a crack as the plank of wood came free and came hurdling down towards the sick bastard's head. Unfortunately the plank of wood didn't nail him on the head like I hoped it would, but it was good enough. The plank of wood hit him on the side of his head and while it wasn't enough to knock him out, it hit him with enough force to make him drop the harpoon and fall on his face with slight disorientation. Before Takenaka could get back on his feet, a foot was pressed down between his shoulder blades and a tip of a sword was placed at the tip of his throat.

"I wouldn't make any sudden movements if I were you." Itou said sharply to the man he held in place below his foot before he decided to poke fun at me. "A little TANGLED up in some other more important business right now?"

"That's not funny." I pouted back as I untangled myself and stood up once again. I never thought I would ever be so glad to see Itou. Ever. "What took you so long? Sprain your back on an evening stroll, you old hag?

"Maybe just a bit." Itou retorted before pointing to the fish spine stuck in my hair. I picked the spine out of my hair while Itou quickly growled in annoyance when he felt Takenaka struggle again under his foot. "Stop moving or I'll slit your throat."

Takenaka froze after hearing Itou's threat, but not long after that, Takenaka flung a mixture of fish bones and dirt at Itou's eyes and while Itou was temporarily blinded, Takenaka pushed off the ground and made another run for it. That idiot. A person could only attempt to runaway so many times before no one fell to his tricks anymore. Grabbing the harpoon he had dropped earlier, I took aim and threw it at his shoulder. The harpoon hit its mark and more. The tip of the harpoon pierced his shoulder all the way through and nailed him to the wooden floor as he fell face first again while screaming in agony. Well lookie, it appears my accuracy wasn't half bad in the dark.

"Are you alright?" I asked Itou politely as I made my way towards Takenaka.

"My eyes! My beautiful eyes! I'll kill the cur!" Itou screamed while rubbing his eyes. Well, if he could complain then I'd say he's perfectly fine.

I approached Takenaka's downed form once again and watched him scream and writhe on the floor in pain before I placed a foot on his lower back.

"It would be wise of you not to try that again, but just for insurance… An eye for an eye." I said coldly before I severed his right leg from the rest of his body with the blade of my naginata, causing him to scream until his voice was hoarse. I spoke once more when he could no longer scream. "The severed limb for my imōto and the fact that the limb I severed was a leg is for my husband's broken leg. You have one leg left. You won't be able to run again. And what was that you said earlier? 'Okita Souji, the feared 'sword' of the Shinsengumi'? For your information, if you two were fighting on even terms then my husband would have been able to behead you before you even opened your mouth."

I step off the pathetic broken man and headed outside once more. I needed to go find Souji and Chinatsu again. Chinatsu needed to be rushed into surgery and Souji needed to have his leg set.

"Itou, I'm leaving Takenaka to you. I have some medical emergencies to attend to." I stated before I began running back towards where I left Souji and Chinatsu without waiting for Itou to answer.

* * *

"Shizuka!" Souji called me the moment he saw me in the distance.

He was sitting on the floor with his broken leg stretched out in front of him has he cradled Chinatsu in his arms. The left sleeve of his top was missing as he tore it off to bandage the remaining stub of Chinatsu's arm. Upon hearing Souji call out to me, I sprinted the rest of the way so I could kneel down at his side.

Chinatsu was still not in good shape. The bleeding had slowed down greatly, but by what I could tell by the blood-soaked, makeshift bandage, it was not enough and she needed to go into surgery soon. Other than the physical trauma Chinatsu suffered, she was also suffering mentally. She had not stopped shaking and was clinging on to Souji's clothing with the one hand she had remaining left. It was so bad that she couldn't even cry anymore. All she could do was press her face against Souji's chest.

"Did you get him?" Souji asked as he gently rubbed Chinatsu's back in an attempt to soothe her.

"Yeah." I answered as I examined Chinatsu carefully. Other than the missing arm and the injuries she received from Sanada-san's son, there were no other injuries. "I left him with Itou. Takenaka won't being going anywhere other than an execution stand anytime soon, especially after I hacked off one of his legs. Do you know where Ani-ue is?"

"Ani-ue arrived after I sent Itou after you." Souji said before he turned to look at the warehouse with the incomplete な written on the wall. "I sent him into that warehouse to go search for Chinatsu's missing arm. Why did you ask me to send someone to look for Chinatsu's arm anyways?"

"Because it looks like it hasn't been that long since her arm had been cut off and depending on the shape of the arm, I may be able to reattach it."

Souji's eyes seemed to widen in pleasant surprise after hearing my statement. Before in my past life, I had helped reattach people's limbs before, but it was never by myself. It was always with a team of surgeons, each specializing in their own areas like the bones or nerves. But just because I never accomplished the entire surgery by myself didn't mean it was impossible for me. After all, I was the one that fixed Sannan-san's arm despite not being a neurosurgeon. I had never stopped practicing or learning various new surgical techniques and it was now time to use what I learned.

"I found it!" I heard Ani-ue yell to Souji from inside the warehouse. "So what do you want me to do with it?"

* * *

I sighed tiredly as I pulled down my surgical face mask while exiting the room I commandeered from Ane-ue to use as an operating room and patient rest room. Going over full forty-eight hours without sleep then jumping right into surgery was less than ideal. There were several risks like falling asleep while operating, making careless mistakes, and who knows what else, but I had no choice here. I only had around six to eight hours to reattach the arm and with no means to cool the severed arm to keep the muscle tissue alive, so I wasn't about to go take a nap while the clock was ticking. Chinatsu was too young to have to go through life with only one arm. It'll be too cruel.

"Those bags under your eyes look big enough to hold pots." a wry voice stated just as I closed the door to the room Chinatsu was now resting in.

Being tired and almost completely unaware of my surroundings, I didn't notice anyone outside the moment I stepped out of Chinatsu's rest room. I jumped at the sound of the voice and swung my head around to see Souji leaning against his wooden crutch. He grinned at me once he saw that he had my attention before he hobbled over to me while examining me carefully.

"You look beat." he said when he was satisfied with his examination.

"So do you, especially with that crutch of yours." I commented back, causing Souji to grimace when I mentioned that busted leg of his. "You should have gone to bed while I was in surgery. You need sleep as much as I do and maybe even more now to heal up that leg of yours."

"Well, I wouldn't exactly be able to fall asleep without knowing the status of Chinatsu, now could I? Even though she's only your half-sister, she's still my sister-in-law." Souji said as he rested the hand that wasn't holding the crutch on my hip. "So how is she?"

I sighed and leaned against Souji's chest. I was so tired. Some family trip this turned out to be. "I managed to reattach the limb," I said, "and there is blood circulation in the arm again, but I don't know how sensitive her arm will be in the future."

Souji offered me a comforting smile before he led me to a comfortable spot in the sitting room and sat down, pulling me down with him. "You did your best with what you knew. That's enough and anything anyone would ever ask for."

I nodded quietly before my gaze drifted to Souji's broken leg. It had been set and placed in a cast, but I wasn't the one to do it. The moment I got back to Ani-ue's and Ane-ue's home, I rushed Chinatsu into surgery. Someone else had to set Souji's leg and by the looks of Souji's leg, whoever set the leg did a relatively good job. While I was examining Souji's leg, Souji grinned impishly before he stretch his back and laid down on the floor and placed his head on my lap. I giggled a bit at his childish behavior and brushed his hair lightly with my hands.

"Sorry I couldn't be the one to set your leg." I mumbled before letting out a yawn. "Who was the one that set your leg? Whoever it was did a good job."

"It's alright. You had more pressing things to attend to." Souji said as he made himself even more comfortable as he rubbed his cheek against by lap. "As for who set my leg, I set it myself. You know how I read your medical notes sometimes when I get bored. I think I would be an idiot if I didn't pick up some things by now."

Whoa, he set his own leg? Honestly, Souji never failed to stop impressing me. But for the meanwhile… Where was everyone?

"Ryota's still with Ishi and Yoshijiro." Souji said, stunning me once again when he immediately figured out what I was wondering. "Ani-ue is sleeping right now, Ane-ue is fluttering around the house to get her usual work done, and Itou-san went back to his parents' house, but not before he told me, 'Don't call on me for anything else! This was supposed to be my time to visit my parents and relax! I don't plan on working or seeing you anytime soon while I'm here!'"

"Ah." I said with another yawn. I continued running my hand through Souji's hair until my eyelids grew too heavy to keep open.

* * *

When I awoke from accidently falling asleep, it was dark outside. How long did I even sleep? When I had fallen asleep it was midday outside and now it looked like sunset or dawn. I couldn't even tell what day it was supposed to be anymore. I stretch my arms a bit before looking around the room. I was still in the sitting room where I fell asleep and even though I had fallen asleep while sitting up, I must have tipped over in my sleep. Souji was now asleep next to me with his arm haphazardly tossed over my waist. His crutch was no longer laying on the floor, but leaned up against the wall, and there was a blanket laid over me and Souji. Hmm... This must have been Ane-ue's work. Carefully, I removed Souji's arm and wiggled out from under the blanket. Souji didn't even stir like he usually would have at my movements. He must have been exhausted too. Once I was out from under the blankets, I quietly tiptoed around Souji's still slumbering form and exited the room.

I think I'll go grab a change of clothing before I go check on Ryota.

Heading back to the room that was provided to me and Souji, I quickly changed out of my hakama and back into my tomesode before going in search of Ryota. I believe Ishi and Yoshijiro were put in charge of watching both Ryota and Kuma. Once I was done changing, I went to the kids' room and slid the door open to poke my head inside. All the kids were sleeping soundly. Both Kuma and Ryota were sleeping on the futon nestled between Ishi and Yoshijiro. Ishi appeared to be sleeping quietly in her own section of the futon while Yoshijiro was sprawled out, half on the futon and half on the floor, and snoring loudly. I couldn't help but smile faintly before I closed the door. However, before I could close the door, I heard a quiet "Baoh?" which caused me to pause and peek back into the room to discover that Ryota wasn't really asleep anymore and was now looking at me curiously.

As quickly as he awoke, Ryota quickly pulled himself to his feet. Afraid that he was going to wake the others up when he fell from his attempted walking, I opened the door to go in and scoop him up before he could attempt to walk towards me. However, I was pleasantly surprised by what I saw. Instead of falling down, like I expected Ryota to, he placed one wobbly step in front of another and before I knew it Ryota was standing right next to me while holding the base of my kimono. Ryota just took his first unsupported steps?!

"Bazo?" Ryota said up to me as I continued to stare at him in surprise.

Well, I supposed this made up for me missing the time where he learned how to crawl. With a giant smile on my face, I bent down and scooped up Ryota with a small twirl and quietly left the room so Ryota and I didn't wake up the rest of the kids.

Now what else did I need to do? I should probably go check up on Chinatsu—Wait a moment… Now that I think about it, I don't think anyone updated Chinatsu's parents on the situation and I kind of didn't want to be the one to so. I mean, Souji and I did kind of leave everything in a mess before with Mikio-san unconscious. Err…maybe it would be okay if I ignored it just for a bit…?

"Gama ma goe." Ryota babble as he looked up at me expectantly.

* * *

[1] Tokyo Bay (東京湾 Tōkyō-wan) is a bay located in the southern Kantō region of Japan, and spans the coasts of Tokyo, Kanagawa Prefecture, and Chiba Prefecture. Tokyo Bay is connected to the Pacific Ocean by the Uraga Channel. Its old name was Edo Bay (江戸湾 Edo-wan). The Tokyo Bay region is both the most populous and largest industrialized area in Japan.

[2] The forerunner of the Port of Tokyo, the Edo Port (Edo Minato) played a very important role in the history of marine transport of Japan and as a distribution point for supplying goods for the people of Edo. During the Tokugawa Shogunate the Port of Tokyo was not allowed to open to international trade, although the neighbouring Port of Yokohama was already open for this kind of trade.


	86. Chapter 83

**Chapter 83**

"Life is like a game of chess. To win you have to make a move. Knowing which move to make comes with IN-SIGHT and knowledge, and by learning the lessons that are accumulated along the way.  
We become each and every piece within the game called life!" ― Allan Rufus, _The Master's Sacred Knowledge_

"What? Why are you giving me that look?" I asked Ryota as he continued to look up at me expectantly. "You're going to make me feel guilty for me delaying to tell Sachiko and Mikio-san that Chinatsu is safe now. I don't want to go right now and…and the sun isn't even up, so there." I said before mumbling to myself, "Actually I don't even know what time it is…"

"Mooe." Ryota just merely said to my longwinded excuse with big eyes before he playfully started tugging on my long bangs, which reminded me that I probably needed to trim my hair a bit. It was getting long.

"Well, let's go check up on Chinatsu right now, okay?" I absentmindedly said to Ryota.

Ryota didn't seem to really care what I was doing or saying right now. He just seemed happy to see me and to tug on my bangs, but that's to be expected. It had been some time since I was able to spend time with Ryota because of the case and everything, but now that the case had been solved, Souji and I might finally be able to get some down time.

Making my way back to the room where Chinatsu was resting, I passed by Souji in the sitting room. He was still asleep and really showed no signs of waking soon. Ryota squirmed a bit in my arms when he saw his father asleep on the floor and whined a bit in hopes of getting Souji's attention. When Souji continued to snore away, Ryota looked up at me with his large unhappy eyes, which was his way of saying, "Tou-san's not paying attention to me. Okaa-san should do something about that."

"No, Ryota. Let Otou-san sleep. He's had several long days and even a broken leg now." I whispered to Ryota quietly so we won't disturb Souji. "Let him sleep."

Ryota seemed to stare at me with disapproval before he focused his attention onto my tomesode sleeves. He quickly began entertaining himself by sticking one of his arms into one of my sleeves.

"Hooo." Ryota said in amusement and wonder when he realized how big and spacious my sleeves were. Cute.

Now, let's see... It was time to check up on Chinatsu and her arm. She should still be out cold from the anesthesia from the surgery, and from the stress and trauma she recently went through. Sliding the door to her rest room open, I quietly stepped in and slid the door partially shut before I put Ryota on the floor so I could go light a few lanterns. When Ryota's feet touched the floor, instead of him toddling around the room to enjoy his newly found mobility, he lifted the bottom hem of my tomesode and toddled under my kimono and between my legs before he let the hem drop again.

…Really Ryota?

Ryota just seemed happy to be under my kimono and to be hugging my bare leg. I let out an exasperated sigh before I plucked Ryota up from his hiding spot so I could kneel down to light the lanterns. Ryota seemed unhappy with this new development and once I put him down again, he laid on his stomach over my lap and whined.

"You ARE really spoiled, Ryota." I said as I lightly poked his cheek to entice a small reaction out of him. "Okaa-san can't work when you're clinging on to Okaa-san so tightly."

"Moh napa!" Ryota huffed unhappily before he got off my lap and started to toddle around the room. He lost balance a few times and fell, but he just scrunched up his face and climbed back onto his feet before he continued practicing his walking.

Now that Ryota was busying himself with some much needed practice, I focused my attention back onto Chinatsu. She was still asleep like I predicted, but there were some fresh tears at the corners of her eyes. Was she having a bad dream? I could probably worry about that a little later since I did expect her to have nightmares about what she had gone through for months. Checking on her arm first was my priority. If her arm wasn't attached well and if she became septic, then the arm would have to be amputated again. She already survived the encounter with that mad man and hand come this far. The least I could do was make sure that the arm was healing well and that she had enough morphine to numb the pain.

Her arm and body seemed to take the reattachment well enough. From what I could see based off of the fingers I could see poking out of the large brace I crafted, the fingers were pink and warm, meaning that there was proper blood circulation going through that limb. There were no signs of infection and when I stimulated a nerve, I saw her fingers twitch slightly. Good, it seems like I managed to reattach everything properly. Now it was just the long and difficult recovery Chinatsu faced. Rehab after a nerve graft was one thing, but rehab for a whole severed limb was completely something else. Poor girl, her road to recovery would be longer and more difficult than Sannan-san's and Sannan-san's recovery path was nothing to scoff at either.

"Ah, no…" I heard Chinatsu mumble. I pulled my attention off of her arm and looked up at her face to see it twist in horror as more tears leaked out of her closed eyes. Nightmares. "Stop…please, I beg you… Haha-ue, Chichi-ue…help… HELP ME!" she ended in a scream as she started thrashing around on the futon.

As gently and quickly as humanly possible, I scooped Chinatsu up into my arms to comfort her and to wake her up from her nightmare. Despite her claiming that she hated me those few days ago, she didn't push me away when I held her. All Chinatsu did was sob onto my chest with one hand tightly griping my kimono while her healing limb hung limply against her side. Her tears were heavy with fear and loss as they drenched the front of my kimono. She was left shaking from her nightmare.

"Shhh…it's okay." I whispered into her ear with a gentle tone as I rubbed her back in a small attempt to calm her down.

Eventually, Chinatsu did manage to stop her tears after several minutes, but she didn't speak. The trauma and horror was still too fresh to her at the current moment. She still clung onto me with her face against my chest as she failed to quell her shaking. She was afraid, still so afraid that she probably felt like she was suffocating.

"Shhh…everything is okay." I continued to say softly to her as words of comfort. "It's over now."

"I-I—" Chinatsu stuttered, but ultimately dissolved into another sob.

"It's alright. Take your time." Souji said as he hobbled into the room. I thought he was still asleep.

On a closer look, I saw Ryota sitting happily in Souji's free arm while Souji used his other arm to support himself with his crutch. Oh, Ryota, I thought I asked him not to bother his father. Looks like he ignored me.

Souji hobbled to where I was sitting before he bent down to put Ryota back on the floor. Once Ryota was happily sitting next to me, Souji took his seat next on the other side of Ryota, abet a bit clumsily. It was always difficult to sit down on the floor with a cast on a leg. Thankfully Souji only needed a short leg cast, so he could still bend his knee, but his leg was still stiff nonetheless.

"Hey," Souji whispered to me as if he wanted to be careful not to disturb Chinatsu, "can you tell me when Ryota started to walk? I woke up earlier when he stepped on my cast as he was toddling around."

"Not too long ago, actually." I whispered back as I continued to rub Chinatsu's back.

Souji let out an exasperated sigh as he looked down at Ryota, who was now playing with his toes. "First Ryota learns how to crawl when you aren't around, then he learns how to walk when I'm asleep." Souji said before pulling Ryota onto his lap. "Just wait, when he says his first word it'll be with Hijikata-san and it'll be a curse word."

I opened my mouth to deny what Souji said, but I stopped myself. Souji did have a point. With our luck, that was exactly what was going to happen. Ryota would say his first word when only Hijikata-san would be around and it would be a curse word. Then Hijikata-san would probably spend the rest of the day chewing both me and Souji out because Ryota cursed and he would completely disregard the fact that he himself had a potty mouth. Then, of course, Souji would point Hijikata-san's habit of cursing and another one of those childish fights would begin.

I decided to sigh instead before shifting my attention onto Ryota too. He was done playing with his feet and was staring back at me now too.

"Babo?" Ryota said all too innocently.

Yeah… Ryota, you aren't as innocent as you would lead me to believe you are. I'm on to you now, Miniature Souji.

"Souji?" a meek and quivering voice snapped Souji's and mine attention back onto Chinatsu. Her face was still buried against my chest and she was still shaking, but the tears had completely stopped and were now beginning to dry. "Why did you call me your imōto?"

Now that she could speak again, she wanted to speak about what Souji had blurted out when he had stood between Chinatsu and her would-be-murderer. While she could have asked about how her arm had gotten magically reattached after it had been chopped off, she seemed more curious about what Souji blurted out. It was a welcome distraction for her anyways. Anything that could take her mind off of the horror and trauma she endured was well welcomed.

"Well," Souji started as he rubbed the back of his head before he shot a wry grin in my direction, "we're not related by blood, but through marriage."

"But you're married to Shizuka and she's not my sister… wait a sec…" Chinatsu said before she pushed herself off of me so she could stare at me with wide eyes. "… You look like Haha-ue…but I'm Haha-ue's only daughter, right…?"

"It's a long story." I said as I abruptly looked away. I felt like I shouldn't be the one to explain this to her. This was as much as Sachiko's story as much as it was mine. I felt like Sachiko should be the one to explain this to her. "Umm… Here, why don't I go find your parents now? We never did tell them that we rescued you."

"It's alright. I got that covered last night." a new voice said. We all turned to the source of the voice to see Ane-ue standing in the doorway with a tray of tea and snacks. "I alerted Chinatsu-chan's parents last night. Of course they demanded to see you right away, Chinatsu-chan, but I figured that it would be best if you got some undisturbed rest first. They should be here after the sun rises, but for now, have something to eat and drink. I bet you haven't had anything to eat for a while. Souji, Shizuka, both of you too."

"Ah, thanks." Souji said as he scooted a bit to the left so that Ane-ue could place the tray of goodies on the floor next to him.

As soon as Ane-ue placed the tray on the floor, Souji quickly plucked a rice ball off the plate and broke a small corner of the rice ball off, revealing the salmon flake filling, and passed the corner to Ryota. Ryota took the small fragment of the rice ball and stared at it in curiosity before he started munching on it. When Ryota finished his piece, he stared up at his father with a rice covered mouth to ask for more.

I grinned at Ryota before I picked up two rice balls and passed one to Chinatsu before I bit into my own. Chinatsu accepted the food without a complaint and started eating slowly. I could tell from the way she was eating that she didn't have an appetite, but she also didn't want to appear rude.

"It's okay if you aren't hungry." I said kindly to Chinatsu as I offered a small smile as a peace treaty. "You don't have to finish the rice ball if you can't. Just eat as much as you can stomach since it's not healthy to miss multiple meals."

Chinatsu looked at me meekly before she nodded quietly. She nibbled on the rice ball a little more before she placed it back on the plate to trade for hot cup of tea to sip on slowly.

"Okay, so how is the pain right now? Is it manageable?" Ane-ue questioned Chinatsu. "Do you need anything else?"

"I'm fine." Chinatsu said barely above a mumble. "Thank you."

"Now if you need anything just—"

"Chinatsu!" a cry interrupted Ane-ue followed by the thundering of several sets of footsteps.

I saw Ane-ue's eyes narrow dangerously at the loud interruption. She quickly turned to glare dangerously at the people who just arrived in such a loud and noisy fashion. At the door, Mikio-san froze under Ane-ue's frosty glare. Sachiko, on the other hand, was unaffected and quickly rushed around her frozen husband and quickly enveloped Chinatsu in a warm hug while carefully avoiding joisting the injured arm and the hot cup of tea in Chinatsu's hands. Ichiro, Chinatsu's younger brother, like his mom, ducked around his dad's frozen body so he could run to his older sister. However, he was less coordinated than his mom. Ichiro slammed into his sister's side so he could hug her, but his actions caused Chinatsu to drop her hot cup of tea. Faster than lightning, Sachiko's hand shot out to catch the cup and most of its tea before it could spill all over Chinatsu's lap and cause a nasty burn. Whatever tea that did spill out of the cup fell onto Sachiko's hands. Sachiko let out a silent hiss of pain before she put the cup of tea to the side so she could hug both of her children at once.

"Haha-ue? Ichiro?" Chinatsu asked in quiet disbelief as she stared at both family members in wonder. After what she had been through, it was no surprise that she thought that she would never see them again.

"You're alright!" Sachiko nearly sobbed as she kissed the top of Chinatsu's head. "I was afraid that you wouldn't get rescued in time and that the next time I would see you was when you turned up dead."

While Chinatsu enjoyed her reunion with her mother and younger brother, her father was still stuck where he froze under Ane-ue's threatening glare and was now getting lectured.

"I said you could come visit Chinatsu-chan after the sun rises, not before!" Ane-ue scolded Mikio-san with her hands on her hips, creating an imposing figure that caused Mikio-san to shrink back even more.

"B-But the sun's rising right now, so technically it's not before sunrise anymore." Mikio-san pointed out nervously under Ane-ue's harsh glare.

"But it's not after sunrise yet either! My husband and children are still sleeping right now!"

I looked at Souji with a mirthful glance, causing Souji to grin back at me. So everything ended well after all. We should probably give the Kimura family some space and time for their reunion. I quickly stuffed the rest of my rice ball in my mouth before I stood up and plucked Ryota off of Souji's lap.

"Come on. Let's give them some space." I whispered into Souji's ear as I balanced Ryota on my hip.

"Alright." Souji agreed as he allowed me to pull him up. He balanced on one foot until I handed him his crutch and we exited the room together. "Hey, it's been a while since we watched the sunrise together. Let's go outside." Souji suggested once he was back on his feet. He shot me a charming smile and picked a grain of rice off of Ryota's cheek.

"Mustaba mep bose noaa!" Ryota exclaimed in agreement before I could even open my mouth in agreement.

* * *

The sky was painted a brilliant shade of many vivid colors as the sun slowly rose. The violet and navy blue darkness of night slowly burned away as light from the rising sun caused the sky to erupt in warm shades of orange, red, and pink. A new day.

"It's pretty, isn't it?" Souji asked me before he stepped onto the roka.

Seeing his father step outside, Ryota wiggled in my arms until I put him down. With his feet firmly on the wooden floor of the roka, Ryota's face lit up in surprise at the cold wood under his toes. He stomped on the wood with one foot to test the cold floor for something unknown. Once he was satisfied with his test, Ryota quickly ran over to where Souji was standing. Ryota grabbed ahold of the fabric of Souji's pant leg first before he decided to hug Souji's leg.

"Oi!" Souji said teasingly down to Ryota, who was looking proud of himself for grabbing onto his father, "With a broken leg and you holding onto my good leg, how am I supposed to walk?"

"Bef mii!" Ryota said before bursting out into giggles.

"I suppose that means you don't get to walk." I said as I translated what Ryota most likely meant before I stepped onto the roka myself.

"Hmm…? Is that so?" Souji said as he grinned mischievously at me before he bent down to lightly flick Ryota's forehead.

Ryota jumped in slight surprise at the flick and let go of Souji's leg so he could stare up at his father with wide-eyed bewilderment. Once his leg was free, Souji quickly hopped away a few feet childishly before he stopped and waited for Ryota. Ryota didn't disappoint as he quickly chased after Souji, and just as he was about to catch up to Souji, Souji would hop back a few feet.

"Maaae!" Ryota exclaimed as he chased after Souji.

"Too slow~" Souji teased back as he hopped around the corner of the building. Without much thought, Ryota quickly toddled after Souji.

I couldn't help but laugh at the whole display. Only Souji could have enough energy to play with Ryota like this even after he broke his leg. Now let's see… Souji was probably leading Ryota on a merry little chase in a circle around the house, so they would probably reappear on the opposite side of the house. Thinking it would be a fun idea to meet them on the other side, I set out to head to in the opposite direction and that's when I noticed the lonely and forlorn figure of Sanada-san standing on the other side of the roka staring at the empty courtyard in an almost isolating way.

Did Sanada-san arrive with Mikio-san and Sachiko to see Chinatsu? It would make sense since Souji and I did leave Mikio-san and Sachiko at Sanada-san's house. Despite everything that had happened between him and his best friend, he still arrived here with Mikio-san, but he kept his distance. It had been years since I had seen someone that looked as lonely as Sanada-san did now.

"Did you come to see Chinatsu too?" I asked gently as I approached him slowly.

Sanada-san must had been lost in his own thoughts. He hadn't noticed me before I spoke and jumped when he turned and saw me next to him. He offered me a sad smile before he answered me and turned to stare forlornly at the courtyard again.

"I did, but I felt like I didn't have the right to." he said quietly. "Especially not after what my son did to Chinatsu-chan and what my onii-san did to Sachiko-san."

"There's no need for you to bear the guilt of your son and onii-san. Their sins are not yours to repent." I told him softly as I gently touched his hand.

What did he feel now? He had learned that his son beats his best friend's daughter and that his older brother raped his best friend's wife, which resulted in years of suffering. His best friend's family had been suffering for years because of his own family and he had remained clueless up until now. The weight of his family's actions must have been crushing him.

Sanada-san's gaze drifted towards our hands before he jerked his hand away from mine, unable to accept the comfort and kindness I had to offer him.

"Even if you say so, the one I can be responsible for is my son." Sanada-san said as he curled his hands into fists at his side and bit his inner cheek. "He's my son and it was my job to raise him into a good man, but yet…" he managed to say before he broke off his own sentence with a broken voice. "He's my son… He may have done bad things, but he's still my son. He hurt Chinatsu-chan, who I loved like my own daughter, but I can't disown him. I can't abandon him. I don't know what to do… My son deserves to be disowned for everything he's done but…"

"It's because you're a loving parent." I said as I wiped away some tears that had appeared in the corners of his eyes. "A parent's unconditional love is an illogical notion, but such a great and powerful one. Even if your son had committed such an unforgivable act, you cannot cast him away, you love him too much to."

Sanada-san chuckled bitterly at my own words as he turned to stare at the sunrise. "Then I feel like this is what makes me a bad parent. I should send my son away as punishment—I know I should send my son away, but I can't… Even the way my son turned out speaks in volumes to my bad parenting."

"Well then, if you're going to condemn yourself as a bad parent then you should listen to what I have to say first." I said as I turned to watch the sunrise too. "Let me ask you: What makes a good parent? If a child turns out to be the kindest person in the world, does that mean that the person that raised that child is a good parent? Even if that parent sold his child into prostitution? Then what about a child that robbed another household? Does that mean that the parent of that child was a bad parent even though the parent did everything he could to ensure that his child could obtain an education to avoid life in poverty?"

Sanada-san opened his mouth to speak, but shut his mouth without uttering a single sound as he looked down to stare at the blood on his hands. He had been clenching his hands so tightly earlier that his nails dug into the palms of his hands.

"What makes a good parent is not determined by how the child turns out. It's easy to be a good parent to a good child, but what makes a good parent, what makes YOU a good parent, is that you don't give up to a challenging and troubled child. You stay by his side and guide him to the best of your abilities, and you never give up on them. There is nothing more important to a child than the love of his or her parents."

"So that's what you think…" Sanada-san whispered. His shoulders where more lax than before and the tension in his jaw was gone. "You seem so much more experienced than what I expect a young mother to be." he said as he finally offered me a small smile.

"That's to be expected considering my experiences with my spectacular circumstances when I was being raised as a child." I replied far more chipper than I thought I could. "So you've decided that you won't send your son away, what will you do?"

"I don't know. I admit I feel very lost right now."

I chuckled at his honest response. Few men would ever admit what he just did so easily.

"Well, for what it's worth, I think you're doing the right thing." I said, causing Sanada-san to look at me in surprise. "Most people believe in punishing harshly for domestic abuse because they believe that it would be fair for the person who suffered the abuse, but what I believe now is that most people don't realize that the abuser is often a victim too. No one is born a truly evil person. What people must realize is that something happened to the abuser to cause him or her to lash out in the way they do. People never stop to think that abuse from a perpetrator could be a cry for help. People just like to think that harsh punishment will make the perpetrator think twice about beating someone in the future when that is hardly the case. While I don't ever believe domestic abuse is justified, I do think there is a better way of dealing with the problem."

"I see… Think back now, I think pinpoint the source of this problem." Sanada-san muttered. "It's still my fault."

"Tell me what happened then."

"My wife died six years ago. When she died, it felt like my life was ending and it wasn't any better for my son. I couldn't stand it to have my son see me deteriorate after my wife died, so I sent him to go live with my onii-san in Osaka for a year while I got my life back in order. When my son returned home, he wasn't the same. He was no longer bright and energetic like he was before. I had always thought that change occurred because he watched his okaa-san succumb to disease, but now I know better. My onii-san was never the kindest person. He even raped Sachiko-san! When we were both still children, he would often kick me around, but I didn't think much of it. I had always though it was normal because I was his annoying little brother. And there were times he still treated me well with love, so I didn't want to believe that he did it for fun. My son must have suffered the same way I did when I was a child. He had lost his okaa-san then he was sent away by his otou-san to live with an abusive relative. He must have felt like his life was spinning out of control. His abusive nature must comes from the need to feel like he's in control… Everything is still my fault. I still was the one that sent my son to my abusive onii-san."

"So what if it's your fault." I butt into his self-loathing session. "I think the question is: How are you going to fix this now? You're not going to leave your son to flounder in confusion by himself, are you?"

"Sanada-san." Sachiko's voice called Sanada-san just before he was going to answer me. We both turned to see Sachiko standing at the doorway. "My husband and Chinatsu are requesting to see you."

Sanada-san's eye widened at Sachiko-san's words. He didn't think that his best friend and best friend's his daughter would ever want to see or speak to him again.

"Okay." Sanada-san said with a small bitter smile and began to head inside the house, but before he completely disappeared into the house, he turned back briefly and gratefully whispered, "Thank you." to me.

When Sanada-san was gone, I let out a small sigh as I briefly looked at the sky once more. Now that was over, it was time to go looking for Souji and Ryota.

"Wait. Shizuka." Sachiko said, her soft voice freezing me in place

I turned my head like a clockwork to face her. She wanted to speak to me? I had just about accepted the fact that she would probably never want to speak to me when it was avoidable. I understood her better now, but I never expected that she would purposely seek me out.

"Can we speak?" she asked me firmly, not with that meek voice she always used before.

I took a deep breath before taking the plunge. "Okay."

"I… I want to explain to you why I abandoned you." Sachiko said with a sturdy voice despite the shaking I could see in her hand.

"You don't have to." I replied softly. "I understand now. There's no need to reopen old wounds."

"No. I won't run away anymore, and you deserve to know everything." she answered with determination as she came to stand next to me so we could watch the sunrise together. "When I discovered that I was pregnant with you after the rape, my life and dreams shattered into pieces of brittle glass in front of my eyes. To everyone in the village and even to my own chichi I was a whore. To them it didn't matter that I was raped. I was a young, unwed woman who was just fourteen when I discovered I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do and I was still reeling from the rape. Before I even had a chance to recover from that encounter, I already had my feet knocked out from under me again. I wanted to erase any evidence that I was raped, to deny I was raped, but I was pregnant. My first thought was I could seek an abortion. It was legal since abortion was only banded in Edo, but I failed to get an abortion. It was too expensive and my haha wouldn't allow it since she had seen many women die after poorly performed abortions from quack doctors. I hated my haha for that and I hated the rotten world for my circumstances. I didn't want to live anymore and even attempted to commit suicide twice. Both attempts failed miserably. My haha caught me putting a rope around my neck the first time and my chichi fished me out of the river after I attempted to drown myself. In the end, I settled on starving myself in an attempt to force a miscarriage, but it was already too late. I was already too far into my pregnancy by then, so instead of inducing a miscarriage, I went into early labor. I was thirty-three weeks along when I went into labor. I had hoped that it would be a still birth since it was still too early for you to be born, but I was horrified to see you come out alive."

I remained silent as I listened to Sachiko speak. Honestly, how was someone supposed to react to hearing all of this? I didn't know how I should feel about hearing all this. Should I be mad and upset? But despite not knowing how I was supposed to feel, what I did know was that I felt a sense of relief to be hearing all of this.

"You were so small and sickly looking. I was horrified that I gave birth to that man's child, but I was also horrified of what I had done to you. Babies were supposed to come out bigger and heavier, they were supposed to cry, but because of the way I treated my pregnancy, you came out too small and looking half-dead. I couldn't bear to look at you because you were born alive in that wretched state. You bore the same eyes as the man that raped me and you also bore the signs of my abuse. I had thought that if I ignored you that you would disappear, but you didn't. Everything at once was suddenly too much and on that night I saw the boat by the river, it felt like my salvation. I placed you in the boat and sent you off, believing that I would never see you again. On my way back home that night, I encountered a pack of stray dogs and that gave me the idea to tell my parents that one of the dogs snatched you out of my arms and ran off. After you disappeared from my life, I could feel things going back to normalcy. I still had nightmare about you and the rape occasionally, but that was heaven compared to the constant nightmare I was living before."

"Oh…" I said quietly after her explanation as I looked at down at my feet. I was thankful to know the truth, but it was also heartbreaking to hear that I was someone's nightmare.

"You have every right to hate me for what I've done," she murmured quietly with tears silently running down her cheeks, "and you don't have to forgive me. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for everything I have done to you and while my words may not mean much to you, it's all I can offer you now."

"You may not think that your words don't mean much to me but they mean the world to me." I said with a small, teary sob of relief as I reached over to hold her hand after a minute of silence. "You don't know what it means to me to hear the word 'sorry'. You're right in that I don't have to forgive you for what you've done, but I do. You were just a confused and hurt young woman with nowhere to turn or get help. Just because you did something wrong does not make you a bad person, it just makes you as human and as wonderfully flawed as the rest of us. And while I may have originally resented you for abandoning me, I have to thank you too. If you never sent me down that river, then I would not have the family I do now."

Sachiko placed her face on my shoulder and cried as she held onto my hand tightly. "You truly are… You even saved Chinatsu before you forgave me, when you knew you could use her death to hurt me and get revenge on me…"

"It wouldn't of matter if I hated you then. Chinatsu is still my imōto and someone who was cherished by others other than yourself." I said as I looked up at the now risen sun in the sky. "Each person is just a small piece of a much larger world and while we each like to believe that the world is centered on ourselves, we must understand it's not. When we think we are just hurting one person, we often fail to realize that there is no such thing as 'just hurting one person'. Every action sends ripples across the world. We are all connected in one way or another and there is no way of hurting a person without damaging yourself."

"Mena boooe!" I heard Ryota suddenly exclaim, causing me to turn my head toward the source of the sound. There, I saw Souji poorly hidden behind a wall while holding onto Ryota. So there they were. I thought it was strange that they hadn't returned yet.

"Shhh! Ryota, remember we have to be quiet so your okaa-san can finish having her moment!" Souji whispered to Ryota in a scolding tone. Ryota merely scrunched up his nose at what Souji said.

Oh, those two…

I couldn't stop myself as I laughed through my tears.

* * *

"Getting a little stir-crazy?" I asked Souji teasingly as I picked up our luggage before he could.

As nice as the rest of our little family vacation was after the case was solved, it was time to head back to Kyoto now. Since Souji did break his leg and since I also needed to keep a close eye on Chinatsu's recovery, we stayed with Ane-ue and Ani-ue much longer than we intended. We arrived in Edo in the first week of August and we were now leaving during the first week of September. Even Itou, who arrived with us in Edo, headed back to Kyoto a couple weeks earlier.

"I could have gotten the luggage." Souji complained as I snatched the luggage out from under him. It was good for Souji to relax, but he was one of those people who truly couldn't relax for too long. He had long since obtained the urge to head back to patrolling the streets of Kyoto. "How long do I have to keep this cast on anyways?"

"At least for several more weeks." I huffed. Even his inability to follow doctor's orders was now grating on my nerves. How many times did I have to tell him to keep off that leg? "And even when I can take off the cast, you'll need to be gentle with your leg for a couple more weeks."

"But Shizuka…." he whined some more.

"Hahaha, just listen to your wife." Ani-ue laughed at Souji's pout as Ane-ue swatted the back of Souji's head.

"But don't worry, Oji-san. I bet you'll heal super fast." Yoshijiro cheered only to earn a scoff from Ishi, who happened to be balancing Kuma on her knee.

"Not if Oji-san stays a picky eater." Ishi commented.

Souji pouted some more at his niece's comment before giving me the stink-eye. "Ishi's been around you too much, Shizuka."

I didn't bother rising to Souji's jab and just hummed in response.

"Onee-san!" Chinatsu called into the house from outside. "The carriage is here!"

"Babo!" Ryota called in after Chinatsu.

Another reason for waiting for so long before heading back to Kyoto was to make sure Chinatsu was stable enough to travel with us. Per request of Sachiko and Mikio-san, Souji and I were to bring Chinatsu back with us to Kyoto. After a long conversation and asking Chinatsu what she wanted, her engagement with Sanada-san's son was broken off, and she decided that she wanted to become a doctor too after she learned that I was the one that reattached her arm. Of course, I couldn't refuse her and I was all in it for girls getting education, but the Shinsengumi headquarters was no place for a young girl. I was only at the headquarters because I was the daughter of the commander and the wife of a captain. Chizuru-chan was only there because she was disguised as a boy and her circumstances with her father. After several letters back and forth between Matsumoto-sensei, it was decided that Matsumoto-sensei would accept Chinatsu as his student and provide living quarters as long as I came to check up on Chinatsu several times a week.

"Well, I guess it's time to head back." I chirped cheerfully as I helped Souji to his feet.

So, another chapter of life closing and a new one beginning. So, Life, where to next?


	87. Chapter 84

Sorry for the long wait, but there is a super long chapter for you guys this time. Among other things, I have received requests to write a story for Harada Sanosuke and one for Toudou Heisuke. I probably won't start on any new stories until this one is done first (who knows how long that'll take), but I am already starting to plan a new story with a new main character and I would like to know who you guys want a story for first, Sano or Heisuke? Let me know in the reviews. I'll tally up the votes and whoever has the most votes by the time I post Chapter 87 wins. Also, tell me what you would like to see in the new main character in the new story. As for the guest that would like to know about Heisuke's fate when Itou leaves the Shinsengumi...you'll see. I've already planted some clues in some previous chapters on what I have planned and lets see if you can find them, though I think they are pretty subtle.

* * *

**Chapter 84**

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." ― Albert Einstein

"Onee-san, Onii-san, is that the Shinsengumi headquarters up ahead?" Chinatsu asked too meekly as she peered out of the carriage from behind Souji's shoulder at the imposing temple buildings. "It's so large. Will I be able to find you if I really need to see you?"

"You don't need to worry about a thing." Souji answered with a gentle and kind smile. "If you can't find us at headquarters, you can ask almost anyone at headquarters and they'll help you. All you have to do is avoid Itou-san and his men."

"Itou-san and his men?" Chinatsu parroted questioningly back. "But aren't they apart of the Shinsengumi too? And Itou-san also helped res—…rescue me…" she finished with her entire body quaking while breathing laboriously. It was almost as if she were choking on air.

As gently as possible, to avoid spooking her and reducing her into one of her lockdown states, I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her into a soft hug. The trauma from the ordeal that she faced not only left scars allover her arm, but left a weeping scar on her mind. The strong, yet annoying girl I first met was lost in the abyss of her mind. What was left after was a shadow of a fraction of her original self.

I myself had questioned if what I was doing was best for her. After such a breaking experience, what was I doing, agreeing to take Chinatsu with me back to Kyoto? What was I doing, separating her from her family? It was clear that after what she experienced that she needed to recover with the support of her family. True, I was family because I was her half-sister, but we've only known each other for about a month and she even started off hating me in the beginning. What emotional support could I offer her? What could I do about her mental status?

But in the end, it was not my choice to take her with me, but her own choice to leave home and follow me for a chance at receiving practical education, an education that did not involve teaching young girls how to take care of a home, but an education she could build a career on. No matter how terrified she was to be away from her family after her traumatic ordeal, she was determined enough to not let the chance of formal education slip away from her. Her courage was admirable and I respected her decision enough to let her decide what she wanted. In the end courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.

"Yeah, but…" Souji answered Chinatsu with the same lightheartedness he had before to shield her from Itou's true self and intentions, "he's a pretty boy who's just useless most of the time. And he smells bad. Better play it safe and keep away from Itou-san and his men to prevent vomiting caused by his odor. Oh and Chizuru-chan is pretty useless, so look for someone else if you need help with something."

Pretty useless? That was harsh. Yeah, I get that Souji didn't want to reveal Chizuru-chan's situation and gender to anyone that wasn't involved, but could he be a bit less harsh?

"And if you can't find Shizuka-chan or Souji-san, or anyone else, you can come find me and Kenji." Kyoko-chan chirped while happily bouncing Ryota on her lap. Kenji just nodded in agreement with Kyoko-chan's statement without taking his eyes off the road while driving the carriage. It was nice of them to come pick us up in Edo considering Souji's leg and Chinatsu's arm.

"Well, here we are." I said as the carriage came to a complete stop outside of the temple.

I gathered our things before I went to go pluck Ryota off of Kyoko-chan's lap. Kyoko-chan quickly pouted at me and pecked Ryota lightly on the nose before handing him over to me. She loved kids like Souji did and it did make me wonder why she didn't have any of her own yet. Did Kenji-san and Kyoko-chan decide not to have kids just yet, or was there a deeper problem?

"Thanks for coming to pick us up at Edo." I said to both Kyoko-chan and Kenji-san gratefully as I stepped off the carriage. I placed Ryota on his feet near me before I helped both Souji and Chinatsu off the carriage. Souji seemed a bit put off that he needed help to step off the carriage smoothly, but his leg would heal with time. "Let me know if you need anything and I'll do the best to help."

"Right." Kenji-san said with a friendly nod and a two-fingered salute.

Kyoko-chan, on the other hand, looked like she wanted to say something, but was hesitant. In the end, it looked like her hesitation won for the moment. She just settled for her normal bright smile before waving at me.

"We're good for now, but when you have spare time, come and see me. I need your doctor's expertise with something private." Kyoko-chan said in the end, drawing Kenji-san's curious glance. Kyoko-chan merely stuck her tongue out playfully at Kenji-san before the carriage started moving again. "See you later."

"Bye." Chinatsu called back at them with a polite meekness before the carriage disappeared around the corner. That being said, Chinatsu looked around in confusion for a short while before asking me, "Where did Ryota go?"

Huh? Quickly looking down to where Ryota was supposed to be, I discovered an empty spot. Oh no, no, no, no, no! Not again! Why could Ryota never stay put for a few seconds?

"Of course this would happen as soon as he could walk in Kyoto…" Souji muttered in annoyance under his breath before he let out a sigh and placed a hand calmly on my right shoulder. "Before you flip out again, just wait and listen quietly for a few seconds."

I took a deep breath and listened quietly like Souji suggested I do. I mean, if Souji wasn't worried too much then I shouldn't stress too much about it, right? Souji did have phenomenal instincts that were usually correct…mostly…I think…

"Whoa! Sano! Heisuke! Look! The little dude's back!" I heard Shinpachi-san's voice exclaim loudly in surprise from within headquarters.

"Wah! Look at that! He's walking!" came Heisuke's voice next. "Ah! That means Shizuka-chan and Souji are back from Edo! I wonder what took them so long to come back…?"

"Knowing them, they must have gotten caught up in some sort of trouble." Sano-san's lax voice came drifting towards us last. "Probably about the same thing Itou-san was muttering about when he got back."

"Huh? What was Itou-san mutterin' about anyways, Sano?"

"What are you asking me that for? You know I don't really pay attention to what Itou-san talks about, Shinpachi."

"Oi! What are you guys making such a big ruckus for! People are trying to work here, which begs the question: What the hell are you three doing slacking off?"

"Urk! It's the Oni Vice Commander! Quick! Say something, Shinpachi!"

"Why are you askin' me for, Sano?! You know I'm crap at telling lies."

"Those two stupid old geezers…" I heard Heisuke say. "There's no need to lie. We were just surprised by Ryota here."

"Hmm? Oh, it's Ryota and he's walking!" Hijikata-san exclaimed in pleasant surprise before the tone of his voice changed. "Wait…that means Souji's back! Why the hell did his vacation last twice as long as it was supposed to?!"

"Toshi? What's all the commotion—Oh! It's Ryota! When did Shizu-chan and Souji get back?"

"Just now." I heard Hijikata-san growl followed by some stomping. Uh-oh. "I'm going to go give him a piece of my mind. If he wanted an extended vacation then he should have reported to us first."

"Um… Souji?" I turned to ask him with an arched eyebrow. Of course, all Souji did was whistle nonchalantly with a carefree look sitting on his face.

While I wrote to Matsumoto-sensei to explain Chinatsu's situation and to ask him if he could take her as an apprentice, Souji was supposed to write to Hijikata-san and Otou-san about our situation and why we were going to stay in Edo longer. My guess is that Souji did write to them, but the letter probably only consisted of the line: "We'll be on vacation longer." and Souji probably also drew a silly bunny face on the letter too to piss off Hijikata-san… Maybe I should have handled all of the letter writing? But then again, where would the fun be in that?

"SOU—" Hijikata-san erupted as he stomped up the front gates of headquarters only cut himself off to stare when he saw Souji grinning and waving back while pretending to lean heavily on the crutch, and Chinatsu hiding slightly behind me shyly with her arm in a sling.

"Mah, mah, Toshi." Otou-san said as he appeared behind Hijikata-san with a grin on his face and Ryota in his arms. "I'm sure Souji and Shizu-chan have their reasons… EHH?! S-SOUJI, WHAT HAPPENED?! Huh? Who's this young lady behind you, Shizu-chan?"

"It's…" I started before I let out the sigh I was holding in, "it's a long story."

Yeah…incredibly long and headache inducing. It was going to be a nightmare to explain everything that happened over in Edo because somehow, just somehow, Souji would turn this into a pissing contest with Hijikata-san. Well, there was no point in lingering at the front door now, right?

"Come on Chinatsu, follow me. You'll be staying with Souji and me tonight before I take you over to Matsumoto-sensei tomorrow." I told Chinatsu with a small smile before I led her around the flabbergasted men and into the headquarters. Souji could take care of everything else in the meanwhile.

* * *

"… So I see…" Otou-san muttered as he processed what I told him before he looked at Chinatsu, whom was still a bit cowed from meeting important men. "You met your mother, and Chinatsu here is your half-sister, then there was that whole ordeal with a serial killer."

After putting our luggage away, I ushered Chinatsu to Otou-san's room. I had no doubt that Otou-san wanted to properly meet Chinatsu, especially given her connection to me. Besides, Hijikata-san wanted a proper explanation as to why Souji and I stayed in Edo for so long given the fact that Souji skimped on the details in the letter he wrote back to headquarters. Figures that Souji would take this chance to mess with Hijikata-san. Once I explained everything to Otou-san and Hijikata-san, things finally started to calm down.

Otou-san shut his eyes at my explanation and he nodded firmly twice before he smiled at Chinatsu with the warmth of the sun.

"You may not be my daughter by blood, but you are still my little Shizu-chan's sister and that makes you a daughter in my own eyes." Otou-san said to Chinatsu with a kind crinkle in the corner of his eyes. "You're always welcome here! Feel free to make yourself at home here!"

"Geez, Kondou-san, you're way too generous when it comes to things like this!" Hijikata-san scolded Otou-san with fake annoyance. "This is how people always take advantage of you."

"Ah… Well…" Otou-san stuttered with that stupid smile on his face before he settled for laughing cheerfully while lightly scratching the back of his neck in slight embarrassment.

Hijikata-san let out one more fake sigh of annoyance before he offered Chinatsu a small smile of his own. And of course, here there was a handsome, unwed man who was smiling kindly at a young girl who was at the age where she would have her imagination filled with romantic fantasies. As demonstrated before, when Souji first rescued Chinatsu from the ronin on our way to Edo, Chinatsu was the type to develop crushes easily. In reaction to Hijikata-san's "charming" smile, Chinatsu slowly became more flushed before she scooted closer to me so she could pull on the sleeve on my kimono and use it to cover the lower portion of her face.

Unlike before, like when she had her short-lived crush on Souji, instead of being confident and boisterous, she shied away and leaned against my presence for support. It was upsetting to see the amount of damage the traumatic event she suffer through had damaged her original personality, but at the same time, the amount of relief from seeing that not all of her personality was damaged was intangible. Her normal facet of developing easy crushes had not been eliminated.

However, Souji on the other hand, frowned at Chinatsu's reaction to Hijikata-san's smile. Big Brother Souji didn't seem to approve of her little crush on Hijikata-san and loudly huffed at Hijikata-san while crossing his arms before he whispered into my ear.

"And another one falls for his 'handsome' looks." Souji muttered sarcastically. "I refuse to have Hijikata-san as a brother-in-law. He's already overbearing enough when he tries to act like my onii-san. If he actually does become my brother-in-law… Quick, do something about this crush."

Um…right… What did he want me to do about it? I mean, it's not like I could surgically remove it like a tumor.

"AH! Ryota come back here!" I then heard Heisuke call from outside the room followed by sounds of running. "Quick! After him, Shinpat-san! If he interrupts the meeting then Hijikata-san will bite our heads off."

"Alright! Leave it to me!" I heard Shinpachi exclaim followed by a loud thump of a body hitting the wooden floor.

Just what the hell was the Idiot Trio doing outside? Shinpachi-san better have not just tackled my son to the floor. Otou-san seemed to have left Ryota with them so we could talk to Hijikata-san and himself without being interrupted, but that didn't seem to work well at all.

"Excuse me for a moment." I said politely with a strained smile to Otou-san and Hijikata-san before I stood up from my seat to go open the door so I could check on Ryota. I didn't have to look far.

When I opened the door, Ryota was standing right in front of me with a bright smile while reaching his arms up towards me to signal that he wanted to be held. The Idiot Trio, on the other hand, was… Well, Shinpachi-san was sprawled face down on the roka behind Ryota, Sano-san was nudging the downed Shinpachi-san with his foot, and Heisuke…he just sighed before he picked Ryota up from behind and handed him to me.

"Better not leave Ryota with Shinpat-san anymore." Heisuke told me with a sigh before pointing to Sano-san trying to shake Shinpachi-san awake. "Because that always happens now."

"What? How?" I questioned as I continued to watch Sano try to shake Shinpachi-san awake.

"Yeah… You don't want to know." Heisuke just left the subject like that before he peered around me and into the room, where he spied Chinatsu clinging on to Souji's sleeve. "So you going to introduce us? I heard most of the conversation from outside, but a formal introduction would be nice."

Ah, that's right. When I brought Chinatsu into the headquarters several minutes earlier, I never got the chance to introduce Chinatsu to anyone else other than Otou-san and Hijikata-san. At the moment, the other captains that seemed to be here at headquarters at the moment were the Idiot Trio. Saito-san and Sannan-san seemed to be on patrol at the current moment with Chizuru-chan. And Inoue-san… probably out running errands and buying groceries. He always seemed to be the one getting stuck with that job when I wasn't around.

"Oh, alright then." I said with an amicable nod while stepping slightly to the side to allow Chinatsu and Heisuke to have a clear view of each other. "Chinatsu, this is Toudou Heisuke, the Eighth Division captain. Heisuke, this is Chinatsu, my half-sister."

"Yo! Nice to meetcha!" Heisuke said with a bright grin as he stepped into the room, but paused when he observed Chinatsu's bright red face. "Huh? Are you okay? You don't have a fever, do you?"

"I…I…" Chinatsu managed to stutter shyly before she scooted behind Souji and grabbed his sleeves to bury her face in it with a small squeak.

I let out a small chuckle at her reaction. So her greatest weakness was attractive, nice men. Just wait until she met the others. When I returned to my seat with Ryota in my arms, Chinatsu quickly switched over to grabbing on to my sleeves.

"Why are they all so good looking? Why are they all so good looking." she asked in a rushed whisper as she barely refrained herself from bouncing in her seat.

Yeah, I wondered that myself a few times actually.

"Oi! Are you awake now, Shinpachi?" Sano-san said outside the room, drawing everyone's attention.

"Ouch… Damn it. My face hurts now." Shinpachi muttered under his breath as he sat up on the floor.

From there, Chinatsu seemed to freeze as she stared starry-eyed at Shinpachi-san. The bright red blush that decorated her face before quickly disappeared as she slowly stood up and began walking outside. When she went outside the room, she came to a stop besides Shinpachi-san before crouching down to his height when sitting down. Then she reached out and lifted his arm slowly, as if to examine it before she turned to me with a look in her eyes that obviously screamed, "He's perfect!" before she introduced herself to Shinpachi-san.

"My name is Kimura Chinatsu." she announced in an almost breathless tone.

"Huh?" Shinpachi-san voiced in confusion before replying cheerfully, "Oh! My name is Nagakura Shinpachi! It's a pleasure to meetcha littl' lady!"

"Your muscles are amazing…it's like they were sculpted by the gods." Chinatsu seemed to breathe out as she examined him more closely before blushing shyly in admiration when Shinpachi-san ruffled her hair.

"Hahaha!" Shinpachi laughed boisterously, drawing an exasperated look onto Sano-san's face. "I know, right?! My body's a work of art that had been sculpted through years of training. Hahaha!"

Souji grinned as he watched Sano-san slap his own forehead before whispering into my ear, "So that's her preference. Well, at least it's not Hijikata-san. Too bad she's still a bit too young."

"Just what are you two whispering about?" Hijikata-san interrupted Souji while looking extremely annoyed. "We're not done with our conversation yet. So, care to tell be why you wrote such inadequate letters back to headquarters, Souji?"

"Well, you see, I thought it would be a waste of ink to write every single detail." Souji stated nonchalantly with a shrug, however, it was clear that his main goal was to irritate Hijikata-san even more. "Hijikata-san is smart enough to figure everything out by himself. Hijikata-san is the vice commander after all. Hijikata-san should be able to do at least that."

"Souji, you bastard." Hijikata-san growled with his fist, twitching to be used, beside him. "How the hell am I supposed to know everything without any details? And if you're trying to save ink then why the hell did you draw that retarded rabbit face on each letter?! That's a waste of paper and ink!"

"Ah, well a letter with only words on it is a bit depressing, isn't it? I thought the bunny face would cheer Hijikata-san up and make him less scary to be around. Mah, mah, mah, isn't it a bit rude to be yelling at me for being considerate?" Souji continued before he shot me a discreet impish grin. "Right, Shizuka?"

Hijikata-san cut me off before I could even open my mouth to speak.

"Don't you dare say anything to encourage him!" Hijikata-san said in a low snarl. "Because of that, I'm placing you on house arrest, Souji! You're suspended from your duties until your leg heals!"

"What?!" Souji instantly protested when his fun backfired on him. "You can't do that!"

"Yes I can." Hijikata-san retorted with a giant, smug smirk growing on his face. "That leg of yours will get in the way. Well, I guess that means you'll be suspended until that cast comes off."

"That's nothing! It's just a small crack in the bone." Souji growled back in protest before turning to me. "Quick, Shizuka, remove this cast!"

"Don't you dare, Shizuka!"

"Shut up, Hijikata-san!"

"Souji, you bastard!"

"Ahahahaha!" Otou-san chortled to himself before saying to Ryota, "Your otou-san and Toshi-oji-san sure get along well, don't they? Hahaha!"

"Souji bickering with Hijikata-san and Chinatsu-chan ogling Shinpat-san's muscles….I guess this was welcome home?" Heisuke said to me as we watched another one of Souji's and Hijikata-san's pointless arguments unfold and turn into petty name-calling.

* * *

"Don't worry about anything." Matsumoto-sensei assured me the next morning as I dropped Chinatsu off at the clinic. "Chinatsu-chan will be well looked after here."

The clinic was an impressive size, as it should be considering that Matsumoto-sensei was bakufu employed doctor. It must have been nice to have such a large workspace for his profession. Unlike Matsumoto-sensei, the space that was given to me to use at the medical wing spanned only a few rooms. I couldn't help but be a bit envious of the amount of space Matsumoto-sensei had to work with.

"Alright. Thank you again for this, Matsumoto-sensei." I said as I bowed before preparing to head back to headquarters.

"Nonsense! This was the least I could do since you help me watch over Chizuru-chan!" he said kindly as he placed a reassuring hand on Chinatsu's shoulder.

"Well, I should be heading back."

"Wait, Onee-san!" Chinatsu suddenly exclaimed before she blushed and looked down at her fingers as she nervously fiddled with them. "Um… Nagakura-san does rounds like the rest of the captains, right? Could you maybe tell me when his rounds are and usually where…?"

Oh?

"Hmm… Well, I'm not too sure when Shinpachi-san is doing his rounds yet. Because of Souji being suspended from his rounds due to his bum leg, the patrol roster had to be redrawn up for this month. But I can check for you and let you know later, okay?"

She nodded excitedly at me before sending me off with a small smile on her face. Her not-so-subtle crush on Shinpachi-san was cute. Now it was time to head back to headquarters to deal with Souji. He didn't take getting band from his work too well yesterday and was still pouting about everything today. In fact, he was so disgruntled with his suspension that almost everyone suffered from some immature prank from him. Though the most memorable prank was the one where Souji tied Heisuke's ponytail, while Heisuke was napping, to one of the wooden support beam on the roka. The knot was so tight that in the end, I had to cut Heisuke free, leaving his hair a few inches shorter than before. So, as Souji's wife, it was my job to keep him busy and to keep him from irritating everyone.

"Oh? Well, isn't it Okita Shizuka-san." a familiar and annoying voice called out to me from the crowd as I was on the way back to headquarters. Who was—oh, it was HER.

"It has been a while since I have last seen you. I hoped nothing bad had happened." Nagumo said politely as she emerged from the crowd of people to my left and daintily bowed to greet me.

Why was she talking to me? I thought I made it very clear that I didn't like her, especially with the way she was always so eager to talk to my husband. I huffed and ignored her as I sped up my walking pace. Did I see anyone? Nope, nope!

"Shizuka-san? I know you heard me." Nagumo said with her perfect little voice cracking in irritation as she sped up too to walk next to me. "Um… I'm not sure what I have done to offend you, but perhaps we can start over again. Why don't we go to a teahouse and get to know each other a bit better."

"I don't think so." I quickly brushed her off as I continued on my way.

Hearing my response, Nagumo growled lowly in annoyance, breaking her perfect ladylike façade and grabbed my wrist to stop me from walking any further. Interesting, she had a grip stronger than what I would have expected from a woman her size.

"What is your problem?" Nagumo growled, her voice suspiciously becoming a few notes deeper. "I am TRYING to be friendly here and I have done nothing to you, so what is with your discourteous attitude towards me?!"

"Now you ask that?" I huffed back as I snatched my hand out of her grasp to cross my arms over my chest. It seems that our little argument on the streets was drawing a crowd now. "Gee, I wonder what you did… could it be that I am FURIOUS with you for FLIRTING with MY husband before?!" I answered with acerbic sarcasm. "That couldn't be it, could it?"

Nagumo seemed to flinch a bit when she heard what I had to say, but something didn't seem right with that flinch. That flinch didn't seem like it was because she was regretting that action, but because she made a tactical mistake. Just what was it with this infuriating woman? I swear, it's like her personality she was showing to the world was a fake mask.

"I wasn't flirting with your husband." she seemed to defend herself as she instantly calmed herself down and forced herself to look hurt by my accusation. "I just wanted to thank the man that rescued me before."

"There's no need!" I snapped back.

"But—"

"If she says there's no need, then there's no need." a new feminine voice spoke up. A woman, I'd say roughly the same height as Nagumo emerged from the crowd of spectators.

She was a beautiful young woman with long dark brown hair. Her hair that fell to the side of her face was tied into elegant, low pigtails while the rest of her hair was tied into a low ponytail behind her back. She had a beautiful set of big amber eyes and she was dressed in an amazing yellow kimono with a purple shawl wrapped around her arms. She looked like she was one of those elegant upper class women, but she carried a completely different aura. She felt warm, friendly, and kind, but while feeling like royalty at the same time. She was very peculiar.

"If you want to thank her husband for saving you, wouldn't it be better to keep away so you don't cause unnecessary marital strife?" the new comer reasoned with Nagumo.

"Ah, so I see." Nagumo said with a very ugly look briefly flashing across her face, so briefly that I thought I was imagining it. "Then I apologize if my actions were offending you." she amended before disappearing into the crowds once more.

I turned to face the other woman and thanked politely for her help. She seemed to have good instincts. "Thank you for your help. If I couldn't get her to leave myself then I have no doubt that would have gotten ugly fast."

"It's no problem." she replied with a friendly smile before she continued on her own way. "Have a good day."

"Oh, wait." I quickly called after her. "My name is Okita Shizuka. May I know your name?"

"I know who you are, so there's no need to introduce yourself. My name is Sen." she called back with a cheerful wave. "Chizuru-chan talks a lot about you."

And with that, Sen-chan vanished into the crowded street once more. Right, it was time to hurry back to headquarters. That encounter with Nagumo took longer than I wanted it to, but on the other hand, I finally met Sen-chan. It was easy to understand why Chizuru-chan like her so much.

* * *

"Say 'Tou-san'." Souji said to Ryota as Ryota sat obediently across from Souji.

"Oouuuu." Ryota babble back before he jumped to his feet to run towards me when he saw me return from dropping Chinatsu off. I giggled at Ryota's contagious cheerfulness as I plucked him off the ground.

"So, how did everything go?" Souji asked me curiously as he tilted his head backwards a bit so he could grin at me.

"It went as well as one could expect. Now what are you going to do all day now that your suspended from your duties?"

Souji just seemed to deflate at my questions before muttering some unflattering words about Hijikata-san under his breath. I see, still plenty unhappy.

"I don't know." Souji finally said with a pout before he looked up at me hopefully and replied with a teasing tone, "Maybe have sex all day?"

I let out an amused little half-sigh, half- giggle before shifting a bit so I could balance Ryota on my hip. "That certainly sounds fun, but not very productive. Besides, Ryota still here."

Souji deflated again at my response and muttered, "Yeah, it's not really all that productive right now. Reproductive maybe, but…"

"Well, then why don't you go help Hijikata-san and Otou-san train some men right now?" I suggested once Souji grew quiet. "They're training some of the newer members in the courtyard right now."

"I think you're forgetting about something big here." he commented dryly with a sigh as he gestured to the cast on his leg. "I can't effectively spar with anyone in this condition."

"I didn't say you have to spar with the men. While Hijikata-san and Otou-san are training the men, you could go around and point out where their errors are and help fix them. You don't have to necessarily have to be able to jump in and beat them up. Besides, you have a better eye for this than Hijikata-san. I'm sure Otou-san would appreciate your help too."

At my words, or more specifically at: "…better…than Hijikata-san" and "Otou-san would appreciate your help…" Souji seemed to perk up immediately and jump to his feet.

"Well, if Shizuka says so." Souji said before he kissed me and headed out the bedroom door with his crutch. "Oh! You should go hang out with the usual trio in the main hall today instead of diving straight to work in the medical wing with research. You should relax a bit more." Souji commented before disappearing.

"Well, what do you think, Ryota? How does one more day of relaxing and doing nothing important sound to you?"

"Babababa ou!" Ryota chirped excitedly while waving his hands wildly in the air.

* * *

"So what are you guys doing…?" I asked with my voice drifting off as I opened the door to the main hall to see Heisuke, Sano-san, and Shinpachi-san surrounded by a large number of books.

Hmm… I never took any of these guys to be big readers, but here they were, surrounded by tall piles of pricy books, and dead in the center of the pile of books was Shinpachi-san. I do have to say it was really weird to see Shinpachi-san excitedly flipping through the books. The image of Shinpachi-san being an avid reader didn't fit him at all. I wonder where all those books came from.

"Ah, Shizuka-chan, over here." Heisuke said as he happily waved me over. I closed the door after I entered the room and went to sit next to Heisuke with Ryota on my lap so we could stare at Shinpachi-san's odd behavior together.

"This is by Matsuo Bashō[1]… over here is by Kyokutei Bakin[2]…" Shinpachi-san exclaimed enthusiastically as he continue to page through each book at a breakneck speed. "Woah! This is a written copy of _The Book of Five Rings_[3], ain't it?! Well, well, there's some pretty interesting books gathered here. That library sure did a good job."

"Hey, Sano-san." Heisuke muttered quietly over to Sano-san, who was also staring at Shinpachi-san's strange behavior.

"Hmm? What is it, Heisuke?" Sano-san said as he looked at Heisuke through the corner of his eyes.

"Y'know, looking at Shinpat-san right now, I kinda think…"

"Yeah. Actually, I've thought it for a while now, but…" Sano-san agreed.

"The image of Shinpat-san reading books…" Heisuke said before he and Sano-san said together with grins, "Doesn't suit him at all!"

"Right, Shizuka?" Sano-san said shortly afterwards as he looked to me for my opinion with amusement written all over his brow.

"W-What the hell do you mean, 'doesn't suit me'?!" Shinpachi-san instantly protested in offense as he dropped the book he was currently holding before I could answer Sano-san. "Sano! Heisuke! You're both saying something really rude! And Shizuka-chan, don't agree with them!"

"Well, that's easier said than done…" I pointed out dryly. "I mean… Well, because it's you Shinpachi-san."

"Oi! What's that supposed to me?!" Shinpachi-san protested some more, causing Sano-san to spring into action with a poorly hidden grin on his face.

"Well… In my head, I know you're an unexpectedly knowledgeable guy, Shinpachi. In my head." Sano-san said in a rush.

"But Shinpat-san gives off this feeling of always working on his muscles, y'know? So reading books and seeming smart just don't fit. Like he's an imposter or something." Heisuke added as he looked to Ryota to see if he'd agree with him.

"Babo!"

"See, even Ryota agrees!" Heisuke exclaims after he got his confirmation.

"Exactly." Sano-san added on hastily. "Hey Shinpachi. I like the you that seems a bit dumb more than this version of you."

At our words, Shinpachi-san glared at us unhappily before he declared with determination. "Alright. Pay attention, you three. I mean four." Shinpachi-san said before he added Ryota to his count. "Seems I'll have to say it deliberately one more time."

"Excuse me." Saito-san said from outside before he slid the doors open. When the door fully opened, instead of entering the room right away after the door was open, Saito-san just stood in place as he eyed the books and Idiot Trio in silent confusion.

"Oh, if it isn't Saito." Shinpachi-san said cheerfully as he dropped the previous subject we were discussing from before."

"What are you three doing? Shizuka, I thought you were going to be in the medical wing furthering your research today." Saito-san commented.

"I decided to take a little break for today." I answered Saito-san with a cheerful smile. "Souji suggested it."

"I see." Saito-san said as he turned to face the Idiot Trio with blank, yet expectant look as he waited for their answer.

"What are we doing, you ask?" Shinpachi-san spoke up with a grin as he picked up the book he dropped earlier to show Saito-san. "You can tell just from looking, can't you?"

Saito-san continued to look blankly at the three quietly for a few seconds before putting his thoughts together out loud. "Hmm… The three gathered here, minus Shizuka and Ryota, are surrounded by many scattered books. And starting some time ago, you were speaking and acting noisily…" Then it was like a light went off in Saito-san's head before he said with a flat voice, "I believe that eating books will not fill your minds with knowledge. I believe Shizuka should have told you this."

Oh my! It took everything I had right there not to burst out laughing at Saito-san's conclusion.

"Why are you looking at us like that, Hajime-kun?!" Heisuke cried in disbelief and offense.

"Even Heisuke and Shinpachi wouldn't eat books…" Sano-san said as he rubbed the back of his neck in disbelief at Saito-san. "The truth is, we went to the library earlier and borrowed a lot of them."

"That's 'cause there are guys among the soldiers with illegible handwriting." Shinpachi-san added on. "Like Hijikata-san, I figure everyone can take this opportunity to study."

"Still, you really gathered an awful lot of them." Heisuke commented as he looked around the room at the piles of books that surround us before he started looking through the pile of books closest to him. "From martial arts writings to the sort of books used in Terakoya[4], you've got all kinds here."

"I see." Saito-san said with an accepting nod. "So that is the situation surrounding these books. Excellent. May I borrow one of them?"

"These guys won't really care either way." Shinpachi-san said with a shrug as he briefly glanced at Heisuke and Sano-san. "Which would you like? One about martial arts?"

Saito-san seemed to mutter something under his breath to himself before he answered, "Let's see. How about a long, enjoyable tale? If possible, something with a love story."

"EHHH?!" Heisuke exclaimed in shock. "A l-love story?!"

What?! Saito-san wanted a story with romance?! I coughed a bit as I choked on my spit. It seemed like the others reacted similarly. Shinpachi-san and Heisuke were staring at Saito with their eyes bugged out of their heads as Sano-san cleared his throat.

"…Saito." Sano-san said wearily as he got over his shock first. "Do you… Do you really intend to read a book like that?"

"… I believe that reading books is the only way to use them." Saito-san said flatly, a bit confused at our reactions, but choosing not to dwell on it.

"T-That's true." Shinpachi-san commented as he started to perspire lightly due to shock. "There isn't really anything wrong with it, but...how to put this… It's pretty surprising…"

"A love story, right?" Heisuke said as he began digging around in the book piles. "I wonder if there's something like that among these…"

"What about _The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter__**[5]**_?" I asked as I held up the book that Ryota was reaching for earlier. "It's not quite the same, but I think it'll work well enough." After all, we couldn't have Saito read anything with too much romance, least he might faint.

"_The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter_?" Saito-san asked as he tilted his head slightly to the left as he stared at the book I was holding up.

"What, you haven't heard of it, Saito?" Sano-san asked in slight surprise. "It's a pretty well-known story, you know?"

"I recall hearing the name before, but…" Saito-san said before shaking his head. "I am afraid to say that I am not familiar with its contents."

"I see, so that's how it is. In that case, I, Nagakura-sensei, shall teach you about it. Since lately, it seems there are some guys around here who think I'm stupid." Shinpachi-san said before he shot a dirty look to me, Heisuke, and Sano-san.

Saito-san nodded in agreement to listen to what Shinpachi-san had to say while Shinpachi-san was glaring at the rest of us and took a seat directly in front of us.

_Once upon a time there was an old man who was a bamboo cutter—_

"But y'know, isn't it kinda ridiculous to tell the story of Kaguya-hime with her as a princess?" Heisuke interrupted Shinpachi-san as soon as Shinpachi-san began to narrate. "Well, I'm pretty sure that it would've been unreasonable to ask of a guy, even if you cast one in the part."

"A girl's obstinacy is cute, but it's still pretty excessive" Sano-san agreed as he put his hand on his chin.

"Heisuke, Sano!" Shinpachi-san complained loudly. "Quit interrupting me!"

"…I still don't understand the contents at all." Saito-san stated.

"That's why I'm saying it, okay?" Heisuke said as he jumped in. "The old man cut a shining bamboo stalk, and from inside—"

"Appeared five noblemen, right?" Sano-san interjected. "And each of them—"

"Gathered five treasures and battled a messenger from the moon." Heisuke jumped in again enthusiastically. "...Huh? Maybe it was Princess Kaguya they fought against?"

"No that's not quite right…" I commented. Why did I get the distinct feeling that they were going to end up confusing Saito-san even more?

"…So anyway. How about it, Saito?! You understand now?" Shinpachi-san asked merrily.

"…I see." Saito-san replied while looking deep in thought with his furrowed brow. "Essentially, by combining everyone's story, you have the one called _The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter_."

Here we go again…

_Once upon a time, there lived an old man named Harada and an old woman named Nagakura. One day, when they went out to practice their swordsmanship in a bamboo thicket, they found a shining stalk of bamboo._

_"Oi, Sano. What's with this shining golden bamboo?" Nagakura-obaa-san asked her dear old husband._

_"It's as if it's some sort of unusually high-maintenance bamboo. Shinpachi, why don't you try cutting it?" Harada-ojii-san replied to his wife and faithful companion._

_"C'mon now, you're the one with the tree-cutting old man role, Sano. Don't ya know that usually, if you cut such a weird bamboo stalk, something will come out?"_

_"What are you saying, Shinpachi. This is the world of a children's story. There are probably a lot of gold coins inside." Harada-ojii-san retorted._

_"Okay then!" Nagakura-obaa-san said as she immediately changed her mind. "Leave it to my esteemed self! If we strike it rich, I'll even buy you a cup of saké! Here goes! Gold coin!"_

_Nagakura-obaa-san then stepped forward and drew her sword. With a deep breath, she readied her strike and swung at the stalk of bamboo with all her might, but to her deep surprise, her sword was repelled and not even a scratch appeared on the stalk. _

_"Wha… I-It repelled my sword!" Nagakura-obaa-san exclaimed in shock._

_"Oi, oi, Shinpachi." Harada-ojii-san said while looking unimpressed. "What are you doing? You're an executive of the Shinsengumi, and yet you can't even cut a single stalk of bamboo?"_

_"W-Wait, that sound just now was weird, wasn't it? The stalk clearly reacted, as if repelling my sword."_

_"Haah?! What are you talking about? There's no way a bamboo stalk can move, let alone defend itself against a sword—"_

_"Hmph." said a new and regal sounding voice, the powerful sound filling the silent space. "Attacking so suddenly. As usual, you appear to have no manners at all… Bakufu dogs."_

_"W-Who's there?!" Nagakura-obaa-san exclaimed with a small jump as she looked around the bamboo grove._

_"It is still the swordsmanship of a dog, after all." continued the powerful voice. "You are still a hundred years too early to cut this Kazama bamboo, whose age exceeds six hundred years."_

_And with that, a beautiful blonde-haired princess stepped out of the golden bamboo stalk, revealing her presence to the old couple._

_"No way!" Harada-ojii-san exclaimed as he stared at the princess in awe. "A person came out of the bamboo."_

_"My name is Kazama-hime. I am a noble oni princess from the oni capital on the moon. Revere me! Glorify me! Kneel before me!" the princess said._

_"Hah? The moon?" Nagakura-obaa-san questioned with disbelief._

_"Oi, oi. What are you saying? The moon floats in the void of space, doesn't it? There's no way someone could live there." replied Harada-ojii-san._

_"Fools. If one uses an oni's mysterious power, even living on the moon is nothing difficult. Due to the results of the oni's impartial lottery, you two have been granted the privilege of raising my most esteemed self. You should be pleased to look after me."_

_"W-We don't want that kind of privilege!" Nagakura-obaa-san cried to deaf ears._

_And so Kazama-hime began living with the old man and woman—_

"W-w-w-w-wait a second!" Heisuke instantly protested, interrupting the story with a look of disgust on his face before he shot me a look that screamed, "Help!"

"What is it, Heisuke?" Saito-san asked calmly without understanding what had Heisuke wound up into such a knot. "Is there some problem?"

Where wasn't there a problem?! What the hell was this story?! Most definitely not the real story of the Bamboo Cutter!

"What isn't the problem?!" Heisuke exclaimed while scrunching up his nose in disgust. "There's definitely something weird about that story just now!"

"Honestly. First of all, a bamboo stalk being six hundred years old is strange." Sano-san admitted, though completely missing what Heisuke was talking about.

"Not that!" Heisuke said as it he was on the verge of doing a facepalm. "Look, isn't there some more stuff you should say?"

"Heisuke's right." Shinpachi-san said as he went deep into thought. "There's a limit to just how ridiculous a shining bamboo stalk can be."

"That's not it either." Heisuke replied before backtracking, "Well, that's strange too though."

"In any case, calm down, Heisuke." Saito-san said as he was waiting for the next part of the really bizarre story. "I understand your feelings of irritation at your role not having come yet."

"I'm telling you, that ain't it!" Heisuke finally burst out. "It's Kazama I'm talking about, Kazama! Why is that guy Kaguya-hime?! It should be Shizuka-chan! Especially since lots of people like to call her the princess of the Shinsengumi!"

"Please kindly leave me out of this." I said with a sigh as I opened the original storybook in my hands as I quietly began reading it to Ryota. I had a feeling that this wasn't going to end well.

"Well… but that Kazama guy certainly gives off that sort of feeling." Sano-san amended. "Shizuka doesn't quite give off that feeling, especially since she gives in to whatever Souji wants."

"Yes. Listening to the story, Kazama-hime seems to be imposing and obstinate, does she not? Furthermore, when it comes to shining, he was the only one suitable who came to mind." Saito-san commented.

"That's true." Shinpachi-san agreed with Saito-san. "It's the most fitting choice, ain't it? What's so strange about it?"

"…Err… E-Eehh? Was I mistaken…?" Heisuke muttered to himself in confusion over the way things turned out. "…No…there's no way I'm wrong…"

"Why don't you quiet down and listen to the rest, Heisuke. Since it's definitely turned into a story where Kazama-hime's practically a freeloader."

"Precisely…" Saito-san continued, "…and after that—"

_Now then, it has been several years since then. Kazama-hime, who lived in Harada's and Nagakura's house, quickly grew to adulthood while his personality remained just as odious as it had been. One day, five noblemen named Kondou, Hijikata, Okita, Saito, and Toudou came to visit the princess. As expected, their intention was the extermination of oni and yokai._

_No, no, actually, upon hearing of Kazama-hime's reputation as a popular beauty, they came to propose to her!_

_"I refuse!" Hijikata exclaimed, breaking the forth wall._

_"Now, now, Hijikata-san, I understand your feelings, but if you say something like that here, then the story won't progress at all, you know?" replied Okita._

_"He is correct, Vice Commander." Saito said in support of Okita. "You must endure and adhere to the rules of the story's plotline."_

_"Like hell I can do that!" Hijikata growled as he kicked the dirt beneath his feet angrily. "Why do we of all people have to play the noblemen and, of all things, court Kazama of all people?!"_

_"… You said, 'of all people/things,' three times… Hijikata-san, you really hate that guy, huh? Well, I don't like him either, though." Toudou commented._

_"Anyways, I'm not going. All of you go do whatever you have to on your own. Call me when it's over!" Hijikata said as he marched off screen to sit on a nearby boulder as he waited for the rest of the story to pass._

_"… This is problematic. The story will be inconsistent." Saito said with a sigh._

_"I think what's most telling is the fact that Hajime-kun didn't think there were inconsistencies up to this point." Toudou muttered under his breath._

_"Come now, Hajime-kun, Heisuke. Leave this to me." Okita said with a sly grin as he all but skipped over to where Hijikata was brooding off screen. "Hijikata-san, Hijikata-san~ Before saying you don't want to, I think you should first take a look at Kondou-san's face right now."_

_"Huh?" Hijikata said as he lifted his head to look at Kondou._

_"A nobleman. Ah, a nobleman, huh~ Such a role… for me, who was born a farmer, to be cast as a nobleman…looking back, it has been a long journey to reach this point." Kondou gushed with stars in his eyes. "Though I am but one man, this message must be conveyed to many children: That if you bear feelings of wanting to be useful to the Emperor, no matter your birth, you can rise through the ranks!"_

_"…Kondou-san has a pretty amazing expression on his face." Heisuke pointed out._

_"Well, what will you do?" Okita chirped as he turned back to face Hijikata. "Hijikata-san. If you're against it no matter what, you may as well stop now, though."_

_Hijikata made a face of disgust as he thought hard and long off screen before he came to his conclusion. "…Urgh… Souji, I'll remember this! S-So…this Kazama-hime's house, huh… We came to see that bastard." Hijikata said as he walked back on screen._

_"Precisely. It seems that many noblemen have proposed marriage to the princess thus far, but she only spoke unreasonably and refused them altogether." answered Saito._

_"It's that guy we're talking about, so any way you look at it, he's just going to do the same to us, y'know." Toudou said before letting out a tired sigh. "Even before seeing him, I've got a headache."_

_"Somehow, hearing that makes this really bothersome." commented Okita as he removed some dirt from under his fingernails. "After all, this is going to end up a story where he finally returns to the moon, so let's just skip this whole process and send him back already. Besides, the sooner we finish the sooner I can go back and get pampered by Shizuka."_

_"Nothing would please me more—Wait! Shizuka doesn't exist in this story!" Hijikata pointed out in annoyance before letting the slip up go. "But, Souji, what are you trying to do?"_

_"Of course," Okita said with a terrifying grin as he placed his hand on the hilt of his katana, "at the moment, I would slice him with this sword—" _

_"T-That wouldn't send him to the moon, but to another place entirely!" Kondou quickly interrupted in horror. "No, that's not good at all! That sort of development would leave a scar on children's hearts!"_

_"Please calm down, Commander. We need to advance the story." Saito calmly pointed out as he attempted to get the story back on track._

_"Y-You're right, Saito-kun… Well, then—" Kondou said before he marched up right up to Harada-ojii-san's and Nagakura-obaa-san's house door and kicked it down. "Is Kazama-hime here?! You are under arrest!" Kondou yelled with fervor._

_"Kondou-san…st...well, whatever. That's fine too…" Hijikata said with a tired sigh of resignation as he followed Kondou into the house of the old couple._

_"Ah! It's Kondou-san and the guys!" Nagakura-obaa-san exclaimed in relief before quickly correcting herself, "…I mean the noblemen. Thanks for coming."_

_"You've really saved us." Sano-ojii-san exclaimed as he dragged himself along the floor to greet the brave and noble noblemen. "If Shinpachi and I had to deal with Kazama by ourselves any longer, I was going to cut a hole in my stomach…"_

_"Shinpat-san and Sano-san have had it rough, huh…" Toudou commented offhandedly as he looked around the barren, wooden house._

_"Actually, there's a lot of things to tell you." Harada-ojii-san said as he got off the floor and dusted himself off._

_"Do it later!" Nagakura-obaa-san quickly butt in to stop her husband from speaking too rashly. "Giving that guy away and seeing him off comes first, right? Oi, Kazama-hime! Some noblemen have come to see you!"_

_Responding to the call, Kazama-hime appeared as she emerged from one of the rooms deeper in the house and glided towards the five noblemen._

_"Hrm." Kazama-hime said condescendingly as she approached the men. "I was wondering who it could be, but it's just you lot. Once again, discourteous noblemen have come into my presence."_

_"You don't have any manners either." Hijikata pointed out in annoyance._

_"Speaking of which… Princess Kazama's appearance makes me want to tsukkomi__**[6]**__." Okita said as he spied the haughty princess before eying her clothing with distaste. "…What is that? Don't tell me you're trying to imitate a Hina doll__**[7]**__ or something?"_

_"Ignorant fool. This is a ceremonial kimono called a _jūnihitoe _**[8]**__. It is a splendidly unparalleled garment, appropriate for the likes of me." Kazama-hime said as she lightly brushed off the insult without much thought._

_"…Hmm. It's rather strange to make such a declaration, since it makes you seem completely comfortable with it." Kondou stated as he examine the princess._

_ "…True. If you were to go this far and felt awkward, it could be seen as unnatural." Saito agreed without skipping a beat._

_"Well, putting Kazama aside," Harada-ojii-san said as he examined each of the noblemen, "you guys don't look like noblemen at all."_

_"Yup." Okita agreed lightheartedly. "Hijikata-san doesn't suit the role like Kondou-san does~ Plus, Heisuke-kun and Hajime-kun don't give off the feeling of noblemen either."_

_"Shut it, Souji! …Even I know that I don't fit the part." Hijikata snapped at Okita in his foul temper._

_"Oho. What self-conscious country samurai." Kazama-hime stated in amusement before going back to business. "So? What do you all want? If you have business, then state it quickly."_

_"That's right. We five noblemen have come to see the famously rumored Princess Kazama to… that is… a… ask for…" Kondou said, stuttering towards the end allowing for Okita to…_

_"A duel." …take advantage of the situation._

_"Right! We have come to propose a duel!" Kondou declared only to realize his mistake too late._

_"…Oya. Oho… a duel, you say?" Kazama-hime said with a terrifying gleam appearing in her eyes as she entertained that idea._

_"…That's ri- n-nonono! I misspoke just now! …um, the noblemen and princess don't have a duel anywhere in the original work!" Kondou stuttered as he failed to correct the error._

_But it seemed that the rest of the noblemen were not at all displeased with the error that was to cause this tale to spin out of control._

_"It's just fine, Kondou-san. This way works much better." Hijikata said with a feral grin as he reached for his sword._

_"Hmph." Kazama-hime retorted as she looked down on the noblemen. "You have some guts. Very well. I accept your proposal for a duel… is what I would like to say. But…"_

_"…But?" parroted Saito._

_"What the heck. You're getting scared at this point" Toudou taunted the princess._

_"Certainly not of you. Don't say such idiotic things. …Simply put, I just don't have enough free time to fight against five people. Therefore, from here on, I will issue a difficult problem to each of you. I shall face the one who brings back an item that fits the task."_

_"Five individual problems, huh? So we're finally back to the main plot of the story." Hijikata stated calmly._

_"Hrm. Well then, as the commander, how about I take on the first one. This is a guess, but if I remember right, the first item was called something like 'a jewel from a dragon's neck' or 'a gem from a dragon's chin…'" Kondou said as he rubbed the tip of his chin._

_"I see. Then I shall have you bring back the beard from Amagiri's chin." stated Kazama-hime. _

_"…A b-beard? Not a chin-gem…but a beard?" Kondou stuttered in shock at the sudden change in item._

_"Yes, that's right. Something like stealing his beard wouldn't be an easy task, even for me. Well, do the best you can."_

_Hijikata, the next nobleman in line to receive his task glared heavily at the princess before he spoke. "I anticipated you would propose something unreasonable, but this goes so far beyond my expectations that I'm amazed I haven't lost my temper. Oi, Kazama-hime. Getting the Buddha's stone begging bowl is fine for me, right?"_

_"That sort of thing is unnecessary." Kazama-hime declared before deciding on a different object. "You will…let's see. Bring back Hougyoku's Haiku Collection__**[9]**__, which is spoken of in the streets."_

_ "Wh…! …Shi… Y-you… where did you get that name from." Hijikata fumbled quite embarrassingly with rage as he tried to find words for this situation._

_"I have only heard of it. I don't know the details, but for some reason, I'm told it is quite the interesting book." Kazama-hime stated before observing the fury on Hijikata's face. "…What's the matter? The Shinsengumi's Oni Vice Commander doesn't intend to say that he can't retrieve one mere copy of a book, correct?"_

_"…I'll remember this too… you bastard…" was all Hijikata said as he continued to growl at the unreasonable princess._

_"Then next is–"_

_"It's my turn, I guess~" Okita said merrily as he interrupted the princess's request. "Actually, I anticipated this challenge and prepared in advance. Here you go, a swallow's cowrie shell. Well, I went through quite a bit of trouble, even though I only secretly stole it from Chizuru-chan and Shizuka while they were cooking."_

_"…Ah. Hey, Souji." Kondou spoke up with confusion evident in his voice. "What relationship is there between Yukimura-kun and Shizu-chan to the swallow's cowrie shell?"_

_"More like, is it just my imagination, or does this shell smell like miso?" Toudou pointed out._

_"Now that you mention it, I seem to recall that today's breakfast was something like clam miso soup…" Harada-ojii-san announced out loud._

_"It's fine." Okita declared despite speaking quite loudly in front of Kazama-hime. "At any rate, Kazama won't know the difference, so there's no problem"_

_Kazama-hime, however, was quite displeased at such obvious dishonest methods and quickly took charge._

_"You've got guts to announce this imitation so shamelessly in front of me. It seems that you being one step ahead has disqualified you."_

_"Kazama." Saito spoke up next, for it was his turn to receive a task. "That aside, why don't you give me a problem as well, instead. I would likely be in charge of the fur coat of the fire-rat."_

_"Hmph. I don't need such a useless item." Kazama-hime declared. "You will bring me a suitable bride. That is an order." _

_"Hmm, I see. That is a difficult challenge. After all, I cannot bring something which does not exist in this world." Saito stated his thoughts bluntly without regard to whom may hear them._

_"Sometimes Saito unconsciously says some pretty cruel things." Nagakura-obaa-san whispered to her husband._

_However, Kazama-hime did not seem to be affected by Saito's cruel statement. "Hrm." she said, "I have no doubt it would be difficult. A being who matches someone like me is practically impossible, after all."_

_"And then this guy goes and interprets it in a positive way." Harada-ojii-san whispered back to his wife._

_"Now then. That makes four challenges. What's left is…" the princess said as she turned condescendingly to the last nobleman._

_"I'm the last one. In reality, the story calls for a jeweled branch from Hourai__**[10]**__, but somehow, I just know you'll come up with something unreasonable again." Toudou said bravely and disrespectfully to the princess._

_"Hmph."_

_"It's 'cause I've gotten used to your holier-than-thou attitude. I had already resigned myself to this. Whatever it is, I'll get it done!" Toudou continued despite the attitude the princess showed towards him._

_ "Is that so? I have… nothing for you."_

_"That's right, nothing! If I do my best, then even a difficult task like that would be– …HAAH?!" Toudou said before he realized what Kazama-hime had really said._

_ "Hah. Your needless enthusiasm annoys me, but I had no expectations of you from the start. That's why there is 'nothing'."_

_ "…Being pitied like that pisses me off the most!" Toudou exclaimed before he erupted. "…You really hate me, don't you?!"_

_With that, there were five challenges. Uh… but since one person was disqualified and one wasn't given a task, in actuality there were three challenges._

_"Still, even if we are told to bring such things, I have a feeling none of them can be obtained through ordinary means…" Saito stated once Kazama-hime was done distributing the tasks._

_"Hmph. My, my. So you can't carry out these errands, hmm. The Shinsengumi who are so feared in Kyoto are quite a joke. As I thought, this burden appears to be a bit too much for you lot. I don't particularly care if you choose to carry out only one of them, however."_

_"Only one of them, you say…" Hijikata said with a sigh. He was going to sprout white hairs before all of this was over. "The first was Amagiri's beard, wasn't it?"_

_"But we don't have any idea where he would be in the first place. So this one is impossible." stated Harada-ojii-san._

_"If that's the case, we should go with a simpler one…" agreed Nagakura-obaa-san. She was desperate to get rid of the princess. "The next was Hougyoku's–"_

_"GWUAHHH?!" Hijikata spluttered before glaring dangerously at the old woman._

_"This seems impossible here too! It's pretty impossible!" exclaimed Nagakura-obaa-san with tears of sorrow in her eyes._

_"Well then, what was that last one again?" asked Okita. "…That's right, I'm sure it was a suitable bride for Kazama."_

_"Hmm…" all the noblemen said at once as they all fell into deep thought._

_"What's the matter?" taunted Kazama-hime. "I believe that this challenge is the simplest, in a way. You merely have to hand over an appropriate partner as my bride."_

_"Don't fuck with us!" Toudou suddenly growled threateningly at the princess. "Even if we're inside a story, there's no way we'll hand Chizuru over to you!"_

_"Heisuke, no one has said anything about Yukimura." Saito reminded Toudou calmly, or so it would seem._

_"Guh!" gasped Toudou._

_"Still, I am certain that the reality is that we cannot deliver her." Saito concluded._

_"And so, just as I said in the beginning, I think we should have done this earlier." Okita said while grinning wickedly and on his count all the other noblemen drew their swords and pointed them towards the unreasonable princess._

_"Hmph. So that is what it comes down to, after all. Saying that you'll resort to brute force as you couldn't solve the challenges I gave you… What barbarians."_

_"What a pain in the ass!" Hijikata snapped back with rage. "These absurd circumstances were your fault in the first place!"_

_"Well, whatever. This development is easier for even me to understand. Before returning to the moon, I will send all of you to the realm of the dead."_

_"Let's do this, Princess Kazama! Without waiting for an envoy from the moon, we'll beat you back there with our own hands! Go back to the moon and play with the rabbit there!"_

_Thus did the five noblemen cooperate and challenge Princess Kazama to a battle. And they all lived…happily… ever…is this really a happy ending…?_

Okay…just, "What the hell was that?!" I almost yelled as I furrowed my brows at Shinpachi-san. What type of messed up story was that? That was nothing like the real story!

"Yeah! What Shizuka-chan said!" Heisuke jumped in to rag on Shinpachi-san. "I told you it wouldn't work!"

Ah, forget it. Was there really a point in arguing about this anymore? I sighed and put the book back in its pile before I ruffled Ryota's hair affectionately.

"It's Sano and Heisuke's fault in the first place, for interfering with my explanation!" Shinpachi-san retorted as he threw the blame back on the other two of the Idiot Trio.

"_The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter_… It is an unexpectedly original story." Saito-san said while in thought.

Oh no…please tell me Saito-san didn't take that to be the real story!

"What's the problem, you lot?" I then heard Hijikata-san ask loudly before he opened the door to the main hall and stuck his head inside. "Is something—"

"Like I said, the casting was completely wrong to start with!" Heisuke continued arguing without noticing Hijikata-san's presence, though the same could be said for everyone else. "Something like proposing marriage to Kazama is a challenge by itself, y'know?"

And with that last line from Heisuke, Hijikata-san looked like he was going to hurl.

"Then shouldn't we have picked me to be Kaguya-hime back at the beginning?" Shinpachi-san argued back.

And Hijikata-san now looked like he was choking on his own vomit.

"Shinpachi, a princess? That's ridiculous. If we did that, it would only make things worse." Sano-san said, throwing in his own opinion. "Besides, if anyone else other than Kazama was going to be the princess, then it really should have been Shizuka."

"But then the story would have no point." Shinpachi-san argued back. "Shizuka-chan would have just skipped all five tasks and jumped into Souji's arms right away. Forget going back to the moon!"

"…I see. So this is _The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter_. Hmm... How profound…" Saito-san continued to mutter to himself in his own little world.

It was at this point, Hijikata-san sighed with resign and closed the door quietly as he left. Yeah… I could understand how Hijikata-san was feeling right now too.

Grinning at Ryota, I picked him up again and headed outside of the main hall. If Hijikata-san was here, then that meant the training session was over now. Souji was done with his task now too, so I should go greet him.

As I stepped out of the main hall, closing the door behind me, I saw Otou-san with Hijikata-san and Souji not too far away.

"Hmm? Silently sliding the screen door shut like that. What's the matter, Hijikata-san?" Souji asked the poor, distressed man.

"… I didn't see anything…or hear anything…and I don't want to know anything either…" Hijikata-san muttered in denial.

"…Toshi…" Otou-san said quietly as he looked at his friend in concern. Hijikata-san normally didn't act like that at all.

"You think you're scarred? What about me? I was there for the whole damn thing." I said, announcing my presence to the men before I went up to Souji to peck him on the cheek.

"What was that all about?" Souji asked me quietly as he took Ryota from me and continue to stare curiously at Hijikata-san.

"You don't want to know." I muttered back. "I think I just suffered some brain damage."

"It's fine, just please don't ask any further, Kondou-san… Ah. Could you tell me in advance, the next time you want to get books from the library? I'll pick a time when that noisy lot isn't around and arrange things accordingly." Hijikata-san said to Otou-san with his still traumatized voice and just when it didn't seem like things could go anymore wrong, it did.

"Ka-Ka-Kazama! H-Hi-Hime!" Ryota said cheerfully as he spat out his first words. "Kazama-hime!"

Oh snap!

"I'm going to murder someone." Souji muttered darkly before he handed Ryota back to me before he discarded his crutch and he began limping towards the main hall with his hand on his sword.

* * *

[1] Matsuo Bashō (松尾 芭蕉, 1644 – 1694), born 松尾 金作, then Matsuo Chūemon Munefusa (松尾 忠右衛門 宗房), was the most famous poet of the Edo period in Japan. During his lifetime, Bashō was recognized for his works in the collaborative haikai no renga form; today, after centuries of commentary, he is recognized as the greatest master of haiku (then called hokku). Matsuo Bashō's poetry is internationally renowned; and, in Japan, many of his poems are reproduced on monuments and traditional sites. Although Bashō is justifiably famous in the West for his hokku, he himself believed his best work lay in leading and participating in renku. He is quoted as saying, "Many of my followers can write hokku as well as I can. Where I show who I really am is in linking haikai verses."

[2] Kyokutei Bakin (曲亭馬琴, 4 July 1767 – 1 December 1848) was a late Japanese Edo period gesaku author best known for works such as Nansō Satomi Hakkenden (The Chronicles of the Eight Dog Heroes of the Satomi Clan of Nansô) and Chinsetsu Yumiharizuki (Strange Tales of the Crescent Moon). Both are outstanding examples of nineteenth-century yomihon, or "books for reading" (as opposed to picture books and books for recitation).

[3] The Book of Five Rings (五輪書) is a text on kenjutsu and the martial arts in general, written by the swordsman Miyamoto Musashi circa 1645. There have been various translations made over the years, and it enjoys an audience considerably broader than only that of martial artists: for instance, some business leaders find its discussion of conflict and taking the advantage to be relevant to their work. The modern-day Hyōhō Niten Ichi-ryū employs it as a manual of technique and philosophy.

[4] Terakoya (寺子屋, lit. temple schools, private elementary schools) were private educational institutions that taught writing and reading to the children of Japanese commoners during the Edo period.

[5] The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter (竹取物語), also known as Princess Kaguya (かぐや姫, 赫映姫 or 輝夜姫), is a 10th-century Japanese folktale. It is considered the oldest extant Japanese prose narrative, although all extant manuscripts date from the Tokugawa period. It primarily details the life of a mysterious girl called Kaguya-hime, who was discovered as a baby inside the stalk of a glowing bamboo plant.

[6]突っ込み (tsukkomi). From the verb tsukkomu (突っ込む), meaning something like "butt in", this is often the role of the partner to the boke in an owarai kombi. The tsukkomi is generally the smarter and more reasonable of the unit, and will criticize, verbally and physically abuse, and generally rail at the boke for their mistakes and exaggerations. A typical tsukkomi often slaps the boke on the back of the head, an action always accompanied by an intentionally cheesy slapping sound effect. It is common for tsukkomi in manzai to end an act with the phrase, "Let's quit!" (やめさしてもらいますわ！Yamesashite moraimasu wa!). The American equivalent is known as the straight man.

[7] Hinamatsuri (雛祭り Hina-matsuri), also called Doll's Day or Girls' Day, is a special day in Japan. Hinamatsuri is celebrated each year on March 3. Platforms covered with a red carpet are used to display a set of ornamental dolls (雛人形 hina-ningyō?) representing the Emperor, Empress, attendants, and musicians in traditional court dress of the Heian period.

[8] The jūnihitoe (十二単) is an extremely elegant and highly complex kimono that was only worn by court-ladies in Japan. Literally translated, it means "twelve-layer robe". The older term, still used by scholars but not widely recognised in mainstream Japan, is Karaginu Mo (唐衣裳). This is in reference to its Chinese coat (Karaginu) and apron-like train (Mo), the defining parts of the costume.

[9] Hougyoku was the penname Hijikata Toshizo used when writing his own haiku collection. The Hougyoku's Haiku Collection referred to here is Hijikata's haiku journal that Okita Souji is often depicted stealing in the Hakuoki anime.

[10] A floating mountain within the story _The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter_.

The last scene from in the chapter is a from one of the Hakuoki drama CDs. The translation was pulled from lynxian's tumblr page.


	88. Chapter 85

As the votes go for the next story:  
Heisuke: 3  
Sano: 1  
And there was even a vote for Saito who was not originally on the ballot, but since he did receive one vote, he is now on the ballot.

So in this chapter there will be some quick time-skips and there will probably be some more in the next chapter. Also, if anyone is curious to what the next story will be like, there is a small preview beneath this chapter. Feel free to leave suggestions, the new story IS still under construction so it can still change quite a bit. Just remember, I won't be posting up any chapters for the new story until this current story is completed.

* * *

**Chapter 85**

"When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny." ― Paulo Coelho, _The Devil and Miss Prym_

Despite it now being late autumn, the high sun in the sky made it feel like it was still summer, though it was no longer as warm. The colorful red, orange, and goldenrod maple leaves that now paved the ground quickly vanished in a light breeze as the wind swept by to reveal the stone path below. November in Kyoto was lovely as it produce such tranquil colors and peaceful sensations, but it was beyond difficult to enjoy scenery with things as is. I sighed while stewing in my own thoughts as I paused the task of hanging the laundry to dry, drawing Chizuru-chan's attention.

"Shizuka-chan, what's wrong?" Chizuru-chan asked as she fluffed out a single, light blue haori before she hung it on the laundry line.

"Okaa-san?" Ryota asked as he stared up at me in curiosity when I merely sagged and sighed again at Chizuru-chan's question.

Ryota dropped the stick he was swinging around on the ground and toddled to where I was standing so he could tug on the bottom of my tomesode to entice a reaction out of me. When he failed to get a desirable reaction, he toddled back to pick up the stick he discarded earlier so he could come back and whack me on the leg with it.

"Ouch! Ryota, how many time do I have to tell you not to hit people with sticks?" I quickly scolded him before I bent down to pick him up. He happily dropped the stick he was holding in favor of tugging on my sleeves in unbound excitement.

"Okaa-san, beno ma boso." Ryota babbled with a frown on his face as he began to speak to me in a scolding tone. When he did this, Ryota really did remind me of his father since his father did use to whack me lightly to get my attention before scolding me in a carefree tone when he was a child.

"Yes, yes, I know. Okaa-san is paying attention now." I assured Ryota before I turned to answer Chizuru-chan's question. "I was just thinking of the political situation that Otou-san is involved in right now."

Earlier this month, the Bakufu Chief Inspector, Nagai Naomune, and nine Shinsengumi members, including Otou-san, Itou, and Yamazaki-san, were sent to the Hiroshima domain. The nine Shinsengumi members that were sent were to serve as escorts to Nagai as he coaxed an answer out of the Choshu representatives regarding their intentions on honoring the peace agreement from the previous year.

I couldn't help but feel nervous with Otou-san gone. I feared for his safety and I worried that he would get caught up in something that was out of his depth. It was dangerous to be around the Choshu right now. Just earlier this year, nine foreign warships entered Osaka Bay to demand the Shogun to pay for damages caused to them by the Choshu. If that event had not been resolved peacefully… I couldn't help but shiver when I thought about the backlash possible. Japan in its current state would have problems fending off a foreign power if it came down to war. Most of the Shogun's forces still used outdated weaponry and many of the domains were still at odds with each other. If it came down to war, it would be as easy as day to see who would win. The Shogun's forces still used primarily swords, spears, and a few outdated guns. In fact, this was what I was expecting to see in the situation regarding the Second Choshu expedition that had announced on March 6th of this year.

The Choshu had been in a constant state of strife for the past several years and because of constant fighting, I expected the Choshu to be much more advanced in the art of warfare. Their constant tangles with the Bakufu and foreign powers were bound to have produced far more advanced and modernized weaponry and tactics. The Choshu may have been low in manpower, but they were still very much a threat, in my own opinion, especially when considering the state of the Shogun's forces. The Shogunate army was composed of antiquated feudal forces from the Bakufu and numerous neighboring domains with only small elements of modernized units. To make things worse, most domains only put up half-hearted efforts now while several domains now were beginning to refuse the Shogunate's orders.

The Satsuma were one of the domains that were beginning to seem suspicious in my eyes now. While they had initially jumped on the opportunity to weaken their traditional enemy, the Choshu, the Satsuma seemed to have more in common with the Choshu now. The Bakufu's original plan was to first neutralize the Choshu and then neutralize Satsuma, and I believe the Satsuma realized that. I believed there would come a time where the Bakufu could no longer rely on Satsuma help. While loyalty was a prized trait and seen as something extremely honorable, the reality of the era was that loyalty was brittle. In the time before the Tokugawa era was established, warlords allied when it was beneficial and just as easily stabbed their allies in the back the very same night. I was fully expecting to see that occur once again. The Tokugawa government felt like it was growing extremely unstable and it was a matter of time before it imploded on itself.

"Shizuka-chan, what do you mean by political situation?" Chizuru-chan asked almost sullenly after I fell quiet.

These past few days, she also had seemed to lose the perkiness everyone was fond of. I had no doubt that this was due to the little visit from Kazama few days ago. To my fortune or misfortune, I was not around when Kazama appeared to Chizuru-chan inside headquarters. While he was not here to take Chizuru-chan that time, he left her a message that had left her depressed. He told her that her father was on their side now. While that could have been a lie, it would be unlikely. Kenji-san had managed to track down enough information from what we could form the conclusion that Chizuru-chan's father now did work for the radicals. There were enough sightings and clues left over to see that her father was a rather important member among the radicals since he was at enough elite meetings.

"Well…" I said as I placed Ryota back on the ground when he started wiggling restlessly in my arms, and once back on the ground, he picked up his stick again and began drawing circles in the dirt. "It feels as if the Tokugawa government is starting to grow unstable while the Choshu continue to gain traction. And now with Otou-san moving up in importance, I feel like the Shinsengumi will get dragged into a typhoon when the winds of change sweep in."

"I see…" Chizuru-chan muttered as she watched Ryota drop the stick one last time so he could chase the leaves that had been blown into the air from a small gust of wind.

"There's no need to dwell on it now though." I said while hanging up the last article of clothing to dry. "There's nothing we can do with at the current moment, so let's just focus on what we can do and sweep the pathways clean, okay?"

"Mmm." she nodded absentmindedly before we headed to the front of the temple to sweep the leaves away.

* * *

"Ah, damn it." I heard Shinpachi-san voice grumble as I stopped in front of the closed doors of the main hall after dinner with a platter of freshly prepared food. "Recently, Hijikata-san has gotten even more ornery than usual."

So Shinpachi-san really was upset with the ways things have been going recently, and was not only complaining, but also protesting in his own way. With Otou-san and Itou away, it meant that Hijikata-san was in charge of the Shinsengumi with Sannan-san's advisement. Hijikata-san was notoriously strict and with Otou-san away, Hijikata-san's strictness seemed to come to life. Hijikata-san always wanted to know exactly where someone was going the moment they left headquarters, what they would be doing, for every second of every day. There was no sense of privacy. Thankfully, with Sannan-san still around, some of Hijikata-san's controlling behavior was mitigated, but Sannan-san couldn't be around all the time. He had his own job that he had to focus on. And to make matters worse, it almost felt like Hijikata-san was playing favorites. Itou's men almost seem like they were allowed to do anything they wanted without reprimand while some of the older members, captains included, bore the weight of Hijikata-san's nagging and overbearing behavior. Even Souji, who surprisingly had a high threshold for Hijikata-san's more unreasonable behavior, blew up in Hijikata-san's face yesterday. So as a small protest to Hijikata-san's overbearing nature of control, Shinpachi-san failed to show up for dinner. Sano-san too, though it was probably more so Shinpachi-san wouldn't be alone and could have someone to complain to.

"If you try to go out, he's: 'Where are you going? Why?' A million questions! Right?" Shinpachi-san continued to angrily complain behind closed doors as he slammed what sounded like a ceramic cup on the floor.

"Well, that just means Hijikata-san has things on his mind." I heard Sano-san calmly defend Hijikata-san. Sano-san was always a lot sharper than he initially seemed and was always far more perceptive than people gave him credit for.

"Then he should talk that way to Itou's men and the others too!" Shinpachi-san argued back in anger. "The way he doesn't say a WORD to them really ticks me off!"

"But it's just exactly what Sano-san said. Hijikata-san just has a lot on his mind." I said from behind the doors before I balanced my platter of goodies on one hand and opened the door to let myself in. Sitting in the center of the room, Shinpachi-san and Sano-san were by a single, dimly lit lantern and drinking from a large jug of cheap saké. They had probably wanted to go out tonight, but had been barred by Hijikata-san. It was no wonder Shinpachi-san was in a foul mood.

"But still…" Shinpachi-san grumbled and looked away. He probably didn't want to say anymore while I was here because I was one of those people who were especially close to Hijikata-san. I HAD known Hijikata-san since childhood.

"It's fine. Complain all you want." I said amicably as I place the large platter between Sano-san and Shinpachi-san, drawing their attention to the food sitting on the platter. "I may be close with Hijikata-san, but that doesn't mean I'm blind to the way Hijikata-san has been behaving lately either. You guys didn't eat yet, right? But since you guys can't go to Shimabara right now, I thought I could bring some of it to you."

"This is…!" Sano-san said as he scanned over the food I brought for them before shooting an excited look to Shinpachi-san. "Oi Shinpachi, look!"

"Freshly made sushi, some slices of sashimi, and oysters with daiginjo [1]saké." I said as I offered them a small apologetic smile. "I figured you guys could use a pick-me-up, Shinpachi-san especially. I had planned on having a larger variety of food, like in Shimabara, but things started to get pricy when I bought the saké. Sorry, this was the best I could do."

"What are you apologizing for?" Sano-san said with a grin before he placed his large hand on top of my head. "Looks like we've been worrying you. It should be us that are apologizing to you for making you worry."

"Shizuka-chan…" Shinpachi-san said as he started to get all teary-eyed while enthusiastically reaching for the flask of warm saké I brought with me. "You're the best! And here I thought you would start growing a big head just like Kondou-san is and start thinking that you were too important for this type of stuff…"

"Hmm… I don't know about that." I joked as I shot both of them a sly wink. "Maybe if I become Emperor one day…"

"Don't even joke about that." Shinpachi-san admonished me as he took a sip of the expensive saké. "With the way you scheme and prearrange everything, it wouldn't be too surprising to wake up one day and find you the Emperor of Japan."

I briefly laughed at Shinpachi-san's comment before I sobered up and let out a sorry sounding sigh. "But still, I think Shinpachi-san is right, things can't keep happening the way they have been or else I think everything will implode on itself. Hijikata-san was being so strict that yesterday, even Souji legitimately finally had enough and blew up in Hijikata-san's face. I trust you heard the yelling across headquarters?"

"Yeah, we heard it." Sano-san said glumly as he ate a slice of salmon sashimi.

"Other than Hijikata-san being too strict right now, we have other issues going on at the same time too." I continued speaking as I poured some more saké out for the two. "There's that situation with Chizuru-chan; her otou-san going over to the radicals' side and the oni going after her. Then there's Heisuke."

"Heisuke? What about him?" Shinpachi-san asked with his mouth full, accidentally spitting chunks of chewed food covered in saliva out everywhere.

I made a face of disgust at Shinpachi-san's food-spitting action before continuing. "Heisuke's been really quiet lately. His mind is always lost somewhere and he looks depressed in a way. I can't help but feel worried about it. Then there's Itou. I don't think it takes a genius to figure out that he's up to something. He's been making it known more and more that he disapproves of the Shogunate."

"Well, I think some things will solve themselves with time." Sano-san said confidently as he put down the saké. "I'm taking Chizuru-chan to meet up with another woman named Sen to cheer her up tomorrow—"

"Oh! You know Sen-chan?" I asked, interrupting Sano-san, as I perked up when I heard the name.

"Yeah, we met yesterday evening when Shinpachi, Saito, and I went out to eat. You know her?"

"I met her little more than a month ago." I said as I thought back to our meeting. "She seems like a nice person and Chizuru-chan seems to really like her."

"That's good to know." Sano-san said as his shoulders relaxed in relief. "Well, I think Heisuke is all mopey because he just needs some time to think about somethings and as for Hijikata-san, he's only strict right now because he doesn't want anything to fall apart while Kondou-san is away."

"But he's being too overbearing." Shinpachi-san grumbled again. "Like Shizuka-chan said, even Souji sincerely snapped at Hijikata-san yesterday and his tolerance level is pretty high despite his constant complaints and usual needling behavior. Which reminds me, if Souji snapped at Hijikata-san yesterday then shouldn't he still be pretty high strung right now?"

"Yeah, that's right." Sano-san added as he looked to me. "Instead of serving us and making us feel better, shouldn't you be attending to your husband right now? A man doesn't like it when his woman is attending to other men when he's stressed."

"Souji should be fine for now." I said as I brushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "Ryota's with him right now. Ryota's at the age where he can understand some of what Souji's saying and respond back, though mostly in random sounds. So Souji can complain all he wants to right now to Ryota and Ryota will just agree back. It is really convenient when I'm not around to listen to all his complaints. But you're right. Souji is really starting to get annoyed with me."

Sano-san nodded at my answer in a way as if he were complementing something before commenting, "But man, time sure does pass fast. It's hard to believe that Ryota's already a little over a year old now."

"Oh geez, don't say it like that. You're making me feel old." I commented as I turned my gaze to the open window so I could stare outside at the full moon. I really wish Otou-san would hurry back.

* * *

Two days after Shinpachi-san, Sano-san, and I had our little talk, Shinpachi-san had finally had enough of Hijikata-san's attitude.

"Argh!" Shinpachi-san cried in frustration as he punched the wooden floor he was sitting on, startling Chizuru-chan, who was dusting with me nearby. "What the hell is up with Hijikata-san?! He's been riding us WAY harder than usual."

"You're telling me." Heisuke chimed in while looking exhausted. "I was just trying to get permission to go out for a bit, but he wouldn't shut up until I gave him an itemized list of what I was going to do."

Sano-san looked to me with an apologetic look before he spoke to both Shinpachi-san and Heisuke, repeating what he said two days earlier. "I dunno guys, cut him a little slack. If something bad happens while Kondou-san's out, it could really screw us up. He's got a lot on his mind."

I had a feeling that this would just be the same argument from two nights before. Chizuru-chan's gloomy-self had been solved when she went to go visit Sen-chan, but the other problems…not so much. In fact, I would argue that Hijikata-san had gotten worse when it came to regulating the Shinsengumi.

"Yeah, sure. I'll buy that," Shinpachi-san retorted to Sano-san with heated fire, "but tell me one thing: Why isn't he cracking down like this on Itou-san's men? Does he think he can shove us around just because we've known each other longer?"

Shinpachi-san frowned in annoyance before he let his back fall onto the floor with a loud thump. He laid there for a few long moments, staring at the ceiling, before he spoke again with a declaration.

"Alright! That's it! We're going to the city. Everybody, get ready!"

"What…?" Chizuru-chan asked in concern as she paused her work and handed me the used rag. "Right now?"

It was clear why Chizuru-chan seemed so concerned. Hijikata-san had been quite clear about how he felt regarding nighttime escapades and anyone who broke curfew often had severe punishments awaiting them, one of them being seppuku. However, I had always thought it was rather ridiculous to have seppuku as a punishment for breaking curfew, it was just so unreasonable.

"Damn right!" Shinpachi-san said with determination born from anger. "What does he think we are, priests? I'm not sitting around in a temple all day. The night's young! We need to tell the rest of the guys! At least we can kinda talk back, but they have to do whatever he says! They're probably miserable."

With that, Shinpachi-san disappeared outside to gather up some men to go out to enjoy the night with him. Sano-san sighed in exasperation as he turned his attention to me and Chizuru-chan.

"I suppose we should go too…" Sano-san said while sounding a bit defeated. "Someone needs to watch out for Shinpachi. He seems pretty stressed."

"Yes, he does…" Chizuru-chan mumbled while looking deep in thought, causing Sano-san to turn and look straight at her with an eyebrow pointedly raised.

"W-Wait! You mean me?" Chizuru-chan said as she jumped in surprise.

Sano-san nodded, as if she were the obvious choice.

"Well, I think that would be a good idea." I commented as I paused from dusting. "It would be nice to have a pretty, young woman watches over him when he goes out tonight. He'll probably drink a lot. Someone needs to keep him from doing stupid things while he's buzzed."

"Then wouldn't it be a better idea if you go instead, Shizuka-chan? You handle these situations better than I do." Chizuru-chan said a bit shyly as she tugged on her hakama to straighten it while she attempted to hide her nervousness.

"Hm, I wouldn't say so." I replied. "Shinpachi-san's sweeter on you than he is with me so he would probably listen to you more if you suggest something. Besides, it's a bit inappropriate for a married woman to go out with a bunch of unrelated men at night. Souji wouldn't be too happy about that, and also, Souji likes the evenings to be 'family time'."

"That's true…" Heisuke trailed in. "But wouldn't Hijikata-san still be furious with us if we just went out like this?"

"Not if Shizuka helps soften Hijikata-san up before we return." Sano-san answered before looking at me expectantly.

"Um…did you not hear me?" I sighed as I allowed the dusting rags to hang limply in my hands as I put my hands on my hips. "Souji likes the evenings to be 'family time'. If I have to spend all evening buttering Hijikata-san up then Souji would be more upset than he would be if I went out with Shinpachi-san and the men instead. I already spent the past few evenings working overtime and if I put off 'family time' again then Souji would be none too pleased."

"C'mon Shizuka." Sano-san said as he looked me in the eye with a pleading look that didn't quite suit him. "Please? For us?"

Being unable to stomach Sano-san's worried pleading, my stern façade crumbled faster than a falling tree could fall. Sano-san must have been overstressed when it came to keeping Shinpachi-san from exploding on Hijikata-san. Shinpachi-san always did have the nastiest of tempers and was impossible to keep from rebelling when angered. I massaged the temple of my forehead and offered Sano-san a small strained, but comforting smile.

"Alright." I yielded to Sano-san's request. "I'll see what I can do, but I can't promise results."

"Thanks." Sano-san breathed a sigh of relief. "For a moment there I thought you were going to refuse."

I couldn't help but snort at Sano-san's concern in amusement. "I couldn't refuse anything if any of you guys asked." I answered as I saw Shinpachi-san return through the corner of my eyes with a horde of guys. "Well, off you and Chizuru-chan go with Shinpachi-san. You too Heisuke."

"Huh? Me too?" Heisuke asked as I startled him out of thought. He had been in thought for a while. Just what was he thinking about so much these days? "But—"

"You been dying to get out of headquarters to relax a bit too, right? I'll take care of things here, so you should go unwind with the guys and help keep Shinpachi-san out of trouble. If you're worried about what Hijikata-san will say then pick up some mint for me while you're out. That way you can say that I sent you out on an errand. Hijikata-san can't say anything about that."

"Right." Heisuke said as he shot a wide grin at me. "Thanks."

With that, Shinpachi-san lead the pack of men out of headquarters for a night for some much needed fun and relaxation, leaving me to contend with Hijikata-san's overbearing strictness. So I guess it's time to deal with some unhappy people. Quickly beating the dust out of the rags, that was being used for dusting, out in the courtyard, I returned the cleaning instruments to their original homes before I set off for Hijikata-san's room, but I didn't quite make it that far.

"Okaa-san!" Ryota chirped as he darted out of one of the rooms along the way to Hijikata-san. "Beno naa me poi."

Once Ryota saw me, he quickly latched on to my right leg and looked up at me with big, adoring eyes. Souji chuckled at Ryota's behavior as he emerged from the room Ryota shot out of and shot me a handsome smile with a charming wink that was more than enough to melt me in my tabi[2].

"You were taking a little longer than usual so we decided to ambush you." Souji said as he swooped in to plant a somewhat heated kiss on my lips. It seemed that Souji was hoping for a little action after Ryota was put to bed for the night. It really sucked that I had to disappoint both him and Ryota tonight.

"Um… Listen, Souji—" I managed to say before I was stopped by Souji's excited face morphing into pure disappointment and irritation.

"You're working again tonight?!" Souji asked with a disapproving frown that quite honestly hurt a bit to see directed at me. "Shizuka, you're not even an official Shinsengumi member and you've been spending more time at work than I am lately and I'm a captain. Ryota needs more time with his hahaoya [3]and I need time with my wife."

"I know…" I said as I stared at my feet to avoid looking Souji in the eye. "It's just the way things have been lately… I…"

I let out a desponded sigh and turned my face away again when my eyes caught Ryota's curious glance. I heard Souji let out a sigh before I felt his hand on my cheek, pushing my face towards his face again so we could look each other in the eyes.

I had honestly thought that I would see more disappointment on Souji's face and I really hated disappointing Souji, or anyone else in that matter. Yes, I know I had been neglecting my family a bit for the past few weeks, but I had my reasons! There was the medical stuff I was in charge of, then there was the cooking and cleaning, there was also with thedealing with aftermath of Chinatsu's trauma, there was dealing with Hijikata-san's stress, and then there was Itou. Okay, so maybe I was fooling myself into thinking that those tasks were a sufficient enough excuse as to why I had been neglecting my family a bit, but there was just so much to be done and I felt like I couldn't leave these things for other people to deal with too. So I stiffened my neck to resist the unwanted movement and braced myself for Souji's look of disappointment.

However, instead of disappointment, I was greeted with a look of concern as Souji's eyes surveyed me. He pinched his eyebrows together as he silently stared intently at me right in the eyes before he lightly brushed my cheek with his hand.

"Tou-san bano mu, ka Okaa-san." Ryota chirped, interrupting the short intimate moment between me and Souji and snapping Souji out of his thoughts.

Souji sighed and offered a soft smile before speaking up. "You're always telling everyone to take breaks so they don't overstress themselves, but you're crap at following your own advice."

"Well, that's what you're here for, aren't you?" I asked back quietly, earning me a small chuckle from Souji.

"Damn right." Souji said before he kissed me again. He pulled away afterwards and picked Ryota up, much to Ryota's protest. "Alright, I'll let you get away with this for one more night, but no more compromises after this. If I say 'take a break and to spend time with me and Ryota' after tonight, you need to listen to me."

I nodded at Souji's terms and he nodded back in a remember-what-you-just-agreed-to way before he began carrying Ryota towards Sannan-san's room.

"Come on, Ryota." I heard Souji say cheerful to our son. "Let's go bug Sannan-san for a bit. He must be bored of work by now."

I'm not quite sure of Sannan-san being bored of work. Sannan-san, just like Hijikata-san, was a glutton for punishment. He was a workaholic, but unlike Hijikata-san, Sannan-san always knew when to take a break.

"Actually, no. Hajime-kun would be better here." Souji said after some thought. "Sannan-san's probably still busy."

"Wait, Souji." I called before Souji turned the corner with Ryota. He paused mid-step before he turned to look back at me laxly with a lazy grin. "Thanks. I promise I'll make it up to you and Ryota."

"I'll hold you to it." he called back before he vanished around the corner.

* * *

"What is it?" Hijikata-san said before I even opened the door to his room or even made my presence known.

How did he know I was there? I slid the door open and poked my head in his room to see him glaring at that mountain of paperwork that had only grown in size since this afternoon when Chizuru-chan had brought him tea. I swear that piling paper up that high was hazardous. If someone decided to pull a few sheets of paper from the bottom of the pile then the whole thing would come down like an avalanche and bury Hijikata-san. Forget about the papercuts he would receive from that. If Hijikata-san ever got buried underneath that pile of papers then not suffocating would be the first order of business to sort out.

"Spit it out, Shizuka." Hijikata-san said in a low growl without taking his eyes off of the piece of paper he was working on.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Only your footsteps sound like that: lighter than the men's and heavier than Chizuru's, but quieter at the same time." he said before he finally took his eyes off his work to give me a pointed look. "So what is it?"

I took Hijikata-san's pointed look as permission to slip into his room. His futon in the corner of his room looked barely used and empty cup and kettle beside him told me he had been living off of tea for a while.

"You look tired." I commented before I looked behind his shoulder at the document he was working on. Maybe if I got Hijikata-san to go to bed then I wouldn't have to worry about explaining Shinpachi-san and a bunch of men breaking curfew. "Shouldn't you go to bed?"

"Idiot." Hijikata-san breathed out as he resumed his work. "If I sleep then who will run the Shinsengumi?"

"Oh geez, I don't know." I said sarcastically as I plucked the calligraphy brush out of his hand while he was attempting to write, earning me a nasty-looking scowl. "Sannan-san, maybe? Even I can do your paperwork for you. I know enough about everything to write up some documents for you."

"Oh?" Hijikata-san said as he turned to face me with an arched eyebrow as he pretended to entertain my idea. "So I should shove my work to already busy Sannan-san? Or perhaps to you, who has been so busy that she hasn't spent enough time with her own child and husband?"

"Okay, so I see your point." I yielded slightly, but I wasn't giving up. "But you can distribute the work among all the captains more so you aren't the only one buried underneath all this paper. They are CAPTAINS for goodness sake! They are more than qualified to write more than a few of the documents that need to be completed."

"That would just make them more irritated and upset than they already are right now." Hijikata-san answered as he swiped the calligraphy brush out of my hands once I let my guard down. "Like Shinpachi. I know he's on edge already."

"More like already over the edge." I said as I stole the calligraphy brush from Hijikata-san again and sat on it this time so he couldn't steal it back. "He left headquarters with a bunch of men earlier to spend the night in the city. He's already fed up."

"So I have already gone too far…" Hijikata-san said sounding a little more than defeated before he growled, "And get your ass off my brush!" at me.

"Look, you're overstressing yourself and when you do, you don't just affect yourself, but other people as well." I stated as I brushed off his growl of annoyance. "This is what happened: When Otou-san left Kyoto with Itou and Yamazaki-san, you worried so much about things falling apart that you pretty much horded all the legal work to yourself so you could make sure there would be no mistakes on the documents. And in regard to making sure nothing goes wrong when Otou-san's away, you also started keeping tabs on everyone, but because you are overstressing so much about the legal work and because you now don't have Yamazaki-san's help, you become super paranoid that somebody will step out of line so you tighten you control over them. This in turn led to some very unhappy people, like Shinpachi-san, who will act out in defiance to your overbearing controlling nature. If you actually distribute the work evenly among everyone, you would stress less and be less likely to compulsively control everyone. Oh, and I have to ask: Why does it seem like you are playing favorites with the men? Shinpachi-san's been complaining how you have been overly strict to him and some of the older members than you are with Itou's men."

Hijikata-san sighed while looking guilty before he looked at me only to sigh again.

"I haven't been cracking down on Itou-san's men because then the men will start complaining that the captains I give the captains easy jobs, or because I like them more. I don't want people to start thinking the captains didn't earn their position." Hijikata-san said quietly before he muttered, "So Shinpachi's already THAT upset with me… He always does something like this when he's mad…"

I nodded in agreement with Hijikata-san's statement as I watched him push away from his desk so he could stand up. He brushed the wrinkles away on his clothing before he looked out his open window.

"Alright, I see your point." he said while contemplating his next decision as he helped me to my feet. "I won't punish any of the men. This is all my fault anyways. I'll go wait in the main hall for them to return so I can set things right. You should go find Souji and your son and spend the rest of the night with them."

I could, but… "I promised Sano-san that I'd see things through and you know I don't let things drop until they're completely done. So I'm going with you to make sure you patch things up properly. Besides, it's the Hour of the Boar right now, so Ryota's already asleep. As much as I want to spend time with him and Souji, I'm not going to wake my son up just for that. He needs sleep."

"Fine, fine, fine." Hijikata-san relented as he shot me an annoyed look. "This shouldn't take too long anyways. You made Chizuru go with them, right? So they should be back soon if they have any shred of concern for her."

When Shinpachi-san and the others returned with Chizuru-chan, it was easy to tell how nervous they all were, with the exception of Shinpachi-san. He remained as defiant and as angry as ever. As for the other men and Chizuru, between the sweaty palms and the nervous glances they were throwing around, it didn't take a genius to figure out just how nervous they were, especially with the invisible word "seppuku" hanging around over their heads. And as for Hijikata-san, even though he said he was going to patch things up, he had an intimating, upset scowl sitting on his face as he stared down all the men. Even Sano-san was worried enough that he shot several subtle glances at me. Sano-san was probably wondering that if I had done what I said I would do, why did Hijikata-san still look so…? Yeah…

"Getting in pretty late for boys who aren't on night patrol. Seem to recall telling you what the punishment for breaking curfew was. Not scared of death, hm?" Hijikata-san said in a cold, seething voice.

Oh geez, now I was beginning to wonder if my talk with him had an effect. At the sound of the Vice Commander's voice, I could see some of the other men going pale as they looked nervously at one another.

"Hey, I forced them to come with me." Shinpachi-san claimed fiercely as he step in between Hijikata-san and the others, standing tall without fear of what was to come. "I'm responsible for all of this, okay?"

"Don't remember putting you in charge, Shinpachi." Hijikata-san just growled lowly and dangerously as he focused his attention on Shinpachi-san. Feeling a little more than annoyed with Hijikata-san's behavior, I stepped up and subtly elbowed Hijikata-san in the side, but all that earned me was an annoy look telling me that he still remembered what we talked about before he continued speaking to Shinpachi-san. "I decide who's responsible, and I don't give a shit who invited who. You all broke regulations."

…

…

…

Oh, I know what Hijikata-san was doing now. He still couldn't afford to look soft with the other rank-and-file soldiers around. Hijikata-san was probably going to act like a hardass until he and Shinpachi-san were alone so he could apologize. But wasn't there a better way of doing this? Hijikata-san was scaring the pants off of everyone right now, acting the way he did.

For several long, tense seconds, Hijikata-san and Shinpachi-san glared at one another. Neither refusing to back down until Heisuke nervously spoke up.

"H-Hey, uh, Hijikata-san, it's our fault too." Heisuke stuttered nervously as his eye shot back and forth between the feuding men. "We should've just told Shinpat-san to go home earlier. Then none of this would've—"

Heisuke immediately fell silent when Hijikata-san's intimating eyes pulled away from Shinpachi-san's and slowly dragged across the rest of the men like a cold sheet of fire.

"Rooms. Now." Hijikata-san said curtly with an icy tone that no one else dared to defy. "I'll have Shizuka deal out your punishments later."

After Hijikata-san had spoken, the rest of the men quickly dispersed in fear, leaving just Heisuke, Sano-san, and Chizuru-chan behind.

"B-But—!" Heisuke tried to speak up again once the rest of the men left as he glanced up at Shinpachi-san with concern, but it wasn't Hijikata-san or Shinpachi-san that stopped him this time. It was Sano-san.

"C'mon Heisuke, let's go…" Sano-san said calmly before shooting me one last look. He figured that if Hijikata-san decided to leave the punishment of the rest of the men to me then my talk with Hijikata-san must have had an effect. He was going to leave everything as they were right now, but Heisuke, on the other hand, was still in a panic.

"What…? Why?" Heisuke gasped at Sano-san. "You're really just gonna leave him here to die?!"

Sano-san didn't answer—he didn't even spare Heisuke one look. He just stared into Hijikata-san's eyes for one long moment before he nodded at me briefly. Then Sano-san grabbed Heisuke by the arm and begun to haul him bodily from the room.

"You too, Chizuru." Sano-san said gently before disappearing out the door.

"O-Okay." Chizuru-chan squeaked nervously before quickly following the two men out the room. She braced one more furtive look back over her shoulder at Shinpachi-san before exiting the room and closing the door behind her.

"…Well, what do you want me to do?" Shinpachi-san asked Hijikata-san angrily once the room fell quiet again. He did spare me a brief look when I remained in the room, but ultimately said nothing as he focused on Hijikata-san again. "I'm not afraid to die, so if that's what it's gonna be then just spit it out."

Hijikata-san sighed as he let the fierce look slide off his face and replaced it with the look of guilty contemplation.

"You're not happy with how I'm running things, are you?" Hijikata-san said as he took a seat on the ground and gestured to Shinpachi-san to sit down too. "Every time you do something like this, that's always what it is."

"Well…yeah, I guess so. Kondou-san too." Shinpachi-san admitted in slight confusion as he was taken back by Hijikata-san's sudden change in attitude. "Don't you think you're being a little too much of a hardass on some of this stuff? I mean, I know we're not exactly the kind of guys a girl takes home to meet her parents, but at least I know how to use this sword. And…I mean, tell me if I'm wrong, but that's why the Shinsengumi's where it is now, right? Because we knew how to fight, and we fought like our lives depended on it. But now you take it easy on all these guys who've never lifted a sword outside a dojo, and you come down like an iron club on all the people who've been here the longest? Doesn't seem right."

For a long time, Hijikata-san was silent as he shifted his glance slightly to the side where there were some suspicious-looking human-shaped shadows being cast on the shogi screens. Then he finally spoke.

"…Sorry." Hijikata-san apologized sincerely.

Shinpachi-san didn't expect that sort of a reaction at all and became even more taken back than before. He even shot me a glance of bewilderment as Hijikata-san was trying to find his footing again to continue the conversation.

"But if I go easy on you, I get complaints." Hijikata-san finally said while sounding slightly defeated. "People saying stupid crap like I give you the easy jobs or the ones that'll make you look good, or you get more money, or that I just like you more. You really want people to think the reason you got your position is just nepotism? Still… Maybe you're right. I have gone too far. I apologize."

Shinpachi-san had gone silent when Hijikata-san finished speaking. Then, after a few more seconds of silence, Shinpachi-san spoke with a bitter smile.

"Dang it man, I just can't win with you, can I?" he said with all his anger draining out of him at once. "If you started lecturing me about regulations, or my responsibilities as a leader, then I was just going to leave." Then Shinpachi-san stared at the floor slightly to Hijikata-san's left as a small blush appeared on his cheeks. "But when you start acting like we're back in Shieikan Hall, there's no way I can say no. You sure got me pegged…"

Shinpachi-san scratched his head before willing that small blush of his to go away and spoke up again.

"I screwed up too. I should've just talked to you instead of acting like a spoiled kid. Let's you and me go get a drink sometime. We'll get something you can stomach."

"Ha…" Hijikata-san laughed good-naturedly before grinning. "I can drink as much as you can. I just choose not to."

At this point I let out a pointed cough at Hijikata-san's statement to disguise myself saying, "Liar." But still, Hijikata-san caught what I was saying and shot me an annoyed, yet offended look, causing Shinpachi-san to break out in a wide grin.

"Ha! What she said!" Shinpachi-san barked before he asked me curiously, "Why are you here anyways, Shizuka? I thought you'd be with Souji."

"I was just putting out some fires." I said smoothly. "And about that comment where you said you're 'not exactly the kind of guys a girl takes home to meet her parents'? I wonder about that…"

"Wait! Do you know something that I don't?! Is this about a girl?" Shinpachi-san exclaimed as he looked at me pleadingly. "Tell me! Shizuka!"

I merely giggled mirthfully and sang teasingly, "I know someone who has a crush on you~" before skipping out the door.

* * *

A month passed with Otou-san and Itou away from Shinsengumi headquarters and by December of 1865, Otou-san and Itou-san showed no signs of returning just yet. The work was endless. In the beginning of December, Otou-san and Itou had gone to Kinai from Hiroshima to report that the Choshu men were resolved to fight regardless of what the domain leaders might do. Shortly after that, in January of a new year, Otou-san and Itou traveled with the Bakufu Senior Councilor, Ogasawara Nagamichi, and Nagai to the Choshu domain. Ogasawara had brought orders to the Choshu domain from Edo which stated that the Lord of Choshu and his heir were to be confined to the residence and that the domain be reduced by one hundred thousand koku. However, the Choshu refused the order. It wasn't until early February of 1866 that Otou-san and Itou-san finally returned.

Change was coming and it was coming fast. While things remained relatively smooth and low-key for the Shinsengumi, events in this country were moving fast. In April of 1866, the Bakufu ordered the daimyo of Choshu, the Choshu heir and the lords of three Choshu branch houses to Hiroshima, but the orders were ignored and the Choshu brought a warship from Thomas B. Glover[4] instead. Then in the same month, Ōkubo Toshimichi [5] wrote to Bakufu officials stating that the Satsuma domain wanted no part in the upcoming Second Expedition to Choshu[6]. In retaliation to the Satsuma's domain's defiant actions, Bakufu officials were sent out to Dazaifu[7] and ordered to kidnap the Five Banished Nobles and return them to Edo to be held as hostages, but the Bakufu officials failed their mission. In order to prevent the Five Banished Nobles from being brought to Edo, Ōkubo ordered thirty expert swordsmen to confront the Bakufu officials and take any means necessary to keep the Nobles in Dazaifu. Later, thirty more Satsuma troops and a cannon were dispatched and the Five Banished Nobles remained in Dazaifu.

Then in May, Shogun Iemochi finally put the Second Expedition into action by leading the troops from Edo to Kyoto to fight against the Choshu. In June, the fighting begun as the Choshu attack the Bakufu forces in Kokura[8] and emerge victorious while on the eastern front, the commander of Hiroshima ordered his forces to withdraw in hopes the Choshu would do the same. Unfortunately, the Choshu advanced into a Bakufu stronghold and drove the Bakufu forces out.

Then in July came the biggest change. The Bakufu forces finally attacked the Choshu and capture the island of Ohshima, but the island was quickly recaptured by the opposing side. On July 3rd, Kokura was attacked for a second time by the Choshu successfully, but the third attack a few days later was unsuccessful as the Choshu were defeated by the Kumamoto samurai. It was in the middle of all this fighting that the Shogun passed away at Osaka Castle. This event was like a loud bell ringing across Japan. The end of the Shogunate was near and the Shinsengumi's end would come with the end of the Shogunate.

* * *

[1] This category is the "A-list" in the sake world – the best of the best – and a brewery's best offering. Each grain of rice must be milled to at least 50% removal and 50% remaining, and some go as far as 23% "seimaibuai" or 77% removal of each grain of rice. Light, sometimes more fruity and more fragrant, this category is best for gift giving and light food pairings.

[2] Tabi (足袋) are traditional Japanese socks. Ankle-high and with a separation between the big toe and other toes, they are worn by both men and women with zori, geta, and other traditional thonged footwear. Tabi are also essential with traditional clothing—kimono and other wafuku as well as being worn by samurai in the feudal era.

[3] Is the more formal version of haha and is usually used when referring to your own mother or someone else's mother.

[4] Thomas Blake Glover, Order of the Rising Sun (6 June 1838 – 16 December 1911) was a Scottish merchant in Bakumatsu and Meiji period Japan.

[5] Ōkubo Toshimichi (大久保 利通, September 26, 1830 – May 14, 1878), was a Japanese statesman, a samurai of Satsuma, and one of the three great nobles who led the Meiji Restoration. He is regarded as one of the main founders of modern Japan.

[6] The Second Choshu expedition (Japanese:第二次長州征討), also called the Summer War, was a punitive expedition led by the Tokugawa Shogunate against the Chōshū Domain. It followed the First Chōshū expedition of 1864.

[7] Dazaifu (太宰府市 Dazaifu-shi) is a city located in Fukuoka Prefecture, Japan. Nearby cities include Ōnojō and Chikushino. Although mostly mountainous, it does have arable land used for paddy fields and market gardening.

[8] Kokura (小倉市) is an ancient castle town and the center of Kitakyushu, Japan, guarding, via its suburb Moji, the Straits of Shimonoseki between Honshu and Kyushu.

* * *

**Preview**

_What are repressed memories? It is a defense mechanism developed by the mind to block out traumatic events. It keeps a person from breaking under the unbearable stress and pressure of intense fear. But repressed memories have always been seen as more of a curse than a blessing. They all say that having missing memories is like missing part of who you are. That memories are what make people who they are, it builds them, molds them, shapes them, it defines who they will become. People would rather have all their memories, even if it threatened to break them. They believe that it will make them stronger and so they go in search of those missing memories in the dark endless void of the mind, not resting until they retrieve their memory and become whole. Those people are the lucky ones. They remember nothing of their trauma, and while they search endlessly for their memories, they have the option of choosing when to rest._

"Don't let a single one of them escape! Kill them all!"

_What are repressed memories? It is a blessing._

"Okaa-san! Otou-san! Where are you?!" the four year old child screamed in a landscape painted with fire, ash, corpses, and blood.

_It was something I wished I had._

There was blood everywhere, but all the blood in the world could not tip the scale of horror seen by this girl's eyes. A girl who's total height didn't even come up to an adult's hipbone. Someone that had not even seen her fifth summer.

More blood would have been preferable to the hundreds of burnt corpses she stumbled through in search of her parents. Bodies that were black and burnt as if they had gone through the fires of hell. Faces that had all their defining features burnt away except for their last expression. The expression of fear and unimaginable pain.

_It was something that could have granted me sleep at night, prevented me from waking while screaming in horror as I relived my memories through the never ending dream. The dream of that day._

The soft crackling of fire as it devoured the ruins of structures, once called homes, oddly sang louder than the chorus of screams and cries that sounded in the background as the shouts of guns and canon fire completed the ensemble. Unarmed women cut down in the streets of the once peaceful village, children screaming as they were grabbed by the hair and set aflame for sport, men dying while trying to defend their families and homes from the invaders. Life falling apart as cruel men with spears, swords, guns, and canons swept through the village, killing all they could get their hands on.

_It was the day I lived through hell while hundreds died. When I discovered that the world was cruel and just how fragile life was. The day when I lost everything to the barbarians who killed innocents because they did not get their way._

"There's one more! Over there!" one of the faceless, armored, invading men hollered and pointed to the young girl as he rounded the corner of a burning rice storehouse.

A few more men rushed over to where the man was pointing to see the girl frozen in fear as she stood among the burnt corpses of parents the girl was calling for before. There was blood splattered on one side of one of her small cheeks from tripping and falling onto the body of a man that had been split open by a blade. Her plain yellow now kimono was singed from the embers floating in the wind and stained red from open scrapes she had obtain while fleeing the falling pole of a collapsed building. Her tears, blackened from the ash, silently streamed down her face as fear consumed her. Too scared to sob loudly, too scared to run for her life, too scared to grovel at the men's feet to beg to be spared, and too scared of death to move. There was no escape.

"Tch!" one of the men, the big one, scoffed as he looked down at the little girl with disgust. "Is it one of those half-breeds? Her wounds aren't healing."

"You idiot. Even half-breeds regenerate like crazy when wounded. This one probably is less than one-eighths oni. Her heritage is so weak that she's nearly human."

"Pity. It would have been more fun if she was at least half oni, then we could have hours of fun cutting her open and watching her scream. Too bad she'd die too fast if we did that."

_It was the day I learned that while oni are superior to humans in strength, we were still mortal. Humans were not to be looked down upon. They could be just as dangerous as a pure oni._

"Hey, if she's nearly human then that means she'll be easy to handle, right? Especially because the females are weaker than the males."

"Yeah, so what's your point, Jurō-san?"

"I had always thought indentured servants were a little pricy to purchase. Wouldn't this be a great deal if I took her as one instead? She still has oni blood, but will be ridiculously weak. This'll be like rubbing salt into a wound! Those stupid oni! Who are they to think they could refuse a direct order from our daimyo?"

"You're an idiot Jurō-san. The general will get mad at you for disobeying his orders to kill everyone. Even YOU might have to commit seppuku."

"Nah, it's fine. He wouldn't order his own nephew to commit seppuku."

"Fine, fine, fine. Your own actions at your own risk."

The armored man, known as Jurō-san to his comrades, slapped his hand around the wrist of the girl and dragged her off with him once the idle conversation was deemed over. However, despite the little girl not understanding anything and being too panicked to think properly, there was one thing she could see clearly on the men's uniformed armor. It was a blood-soaked mon of a local daimyo to the west.

_If I had to list just one thing I learned that day then it would be: memento mori. Remember you are mortal, for beyond the beaten path lies an absolute end. It matters not who you are…Death awaits you._

The girl's once peaceful and joy-filled life was now over as the chains of slavery hauled her away from the place she once called home.


	89. Chapter 86

I'm really sorry for the late update. This chapter was actually supposed to go up last Saturday, but I ended up with a fever that day and I couldn't update during the middle of the week because of my schedule for this quarter. Which will bring me to say that updates will be very slow this quarter. Monday through Thursday I intern for six hours before I run to class for another four hours, I babysit on Saturdays, and I use Sundays to finish up any homework I haven't completed yet. Because of my internship I had to quit my job to find enough time to intern. Friday is my only free day now. And for the results of the poll, I don't even have to count to know that Saito won. So the next story will have the main character paired up with Saito. Again, if you have any suggestions, tips, or just have something you would like to see in the next story then leave it in the reviews. I will find some way to work it in to the story.

* * *

**Chapter 86**

"You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it." ― Malcolm X, By Any Means Necessary

Ryota swung his sword, fast, sharp, deadly. There was no foe that could defeat him or even land a hit. He was invincible, or so he probably thought in his own mind. I would personally say that twig he was randomly swinging about was quite harmless. Well, unless he poked someone in the eye with it, and he also probably didn't have the strength to do any real damage to another person if the twig was a real sword.

Now at twenty-three months, Ryota was now considered a toddler, a toddler who loved to copy others, and also someone who happened to spend far too much time watching his dad practice and spar with Saito-san. That twig he was now swinging around as a "sword" was now his constant companion. Ryota even tried to copy the way his father carried his sword by tucking it into his own obi at his waist. Souji couldn't get enough amusement from this and often joked with me about how fine a swordsman Ryota was. Of course, Souji was proud of how Ryota was constantly copying him and extremely thrilled about it, but poking fun at his own son was just really fun. Besides, it was rather cute how Ryota would react. He would give me the poutiest pout I had ever seen while giving me a look that said, "Mom, do something about Dad! He won't stop teasing me!" And when I would just merely grinned back at him, Ryota would then go tattle on us to one his "uncles", mostly Saito-san, while huffing in a big rage. It was cute.

"Okaa-san!" Ryota chirped as he bounded up to where I was seated on the roka before tugging on the bottom of my kimono. He wasn't going to actually start speaking until he had my full attention.

"What is it Ryota?" I asked with a soft smile before rubbing away a smudge of dirt on his little cheek.

"Look! Look!" he exclaimed, bubbling with excitement before he ran back out into the open space of the courtyard again. "Hah!" he shouted out with great force as he showed me his copied version of Souji's basic stance. "See? See? I good."

His speech was also coming along well. I would say he now knew about a hundred words and could use them in one to two word phrases, though he did stumble a bit over the longer and more complex words. He was also extremely chatty. He now loved spending the afternoons of each day chatting with his father and grandfather, which pleased Souji immensely because of how Ryota would always interrupt whenever Hijikata-san was speaking to Otou-san. Hijikata-san, on the other hand, always gave me a dirty look whenever that happened, especially because Ryota never seemed to do that to Sannan-san whenever Sannan-san was in the room.

"I see. You're talented just like Otou-san, right?" I asked him with a small giggle. His idolization of his father was adorable.

"Tou-san! Tou-san! Like Tou-san!" he parroted after me before he returned to swinging the twig around, ignoring the fact that his "uncle" Heisuke just stepped out from the room behind me.

Without saying anything, Heisuke slumped down next to me with a sigh as he stared out at the courtyard that Ryota was playing in without really seeing anything. He let out a tired and depressed sounding sigh before he leaned his head against my shoulder. What was eating at him this time?

I really couldn't help but become more worried about Heisuke these days. While there are still moments where he acted like his regular self, there were times he just seemed so depressed and quiet, and increasingly so nowadays. It didn't suit him. I was so used to Heisuke being boisterous and cheerful that whenever Heisuke was depressed it scared me quite a bit.

"Heisuke, what's wrong?" I asked him as he continued to stare vacantly out into the courtyard.

He remained quiet for the first few seconds, like he was trying to make sense of something before he said in a muted and almost dead sounding tone, "You remember there've been a bunch of warriors over the last six months who had to kill themselves?"

"Yes…" I muttered. I knew where this was going to go. While Heisuke was someone who always seemed to be chipper and carefree, he was actually someone who always struggled with morals. He prided himself with always doing what was right and good, and that was what he had always believed what the Shinsengumi symbolized, but lately…

"Some of them harassed merchants into paying them off, and some of the others got their heads cut off for raping women in the city." Heisuke said while looking bitter before he mumbled, "I just don't get it… Why did they join the Shinsengumi in the first place? Some people are saying that capital punishment is too much, but the Shinsengumi's supposed to protect the people of Kyoto, and if we're out there HURTING them…"

He then frowned, making the faint shadows under his eyes more prominent. He had been losing sleep over this. Then as if somebody flipped a switch, Heisuke let out a small growl before he removed his head off of my shoulders to glare at the dirt floor directly in front of us.

"I mean, we finally managed to earn a little respect and now we're just going to be back on the bottom. Hijikata-san's tightening up the rules again to try and keep this stuff from happening, but…" he said with slight anger before he sighed bitterly once more. "It just ends up meaning that the guys who ARE doing a good job get the short end of the stick…"

"I suppose to answer that you would have to look at their motives." I said to Heisuke as I continued to watch Ryota beat down an invisible enemy with his twig. "Those men who joined the Shinsengumi in the very beginning, what do you think they wanted to accomplish by joining the Shinsengumi? Maybe they were just like Otou-san, men with big dreams of becoming a samurai and fighting for honor. Or perhaps they truly believed that they could do the right thing and protect the people by joining the Shinsengumi. After you think about that then look at the men who joined the Shinsengumi after Ikedaya. After Ikedaya, the Shinsengumi had become more famous and more important, thereby drawing more recruits than ever. Why did the Shinsengumi gain more recruits then? What where those new recruits after and did the older members we had from before change from before, like maybe grow a bigger head? Morals can warp over time. Like what Friedrich Niezsche, a German philosopher, said, 'Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.'"

"But what can we do about this?" Heisuke asked me when he didn't get an answer to his other half of the question. "Things can't keep going the way they have! Our reputation is getting destroyed all over again and the guys who are doing a good job are the ones suffering…"

"We do the best we can with what we know. That's all we can really do. We can try to amend the Shinsengumi's reputation to the public and change regulations on how the Shinsengumi is run to reduce lash back, but there will be people who will always view the Shinsengumi in a bad light no matter what."

"View the Shinsengumi in a bad light no matter what…" Heisuke repeated after me sounding absolutely defeated.

"Heisuke, let me tell you a story." I said. Although, even though the story was for Heisuke, once I said the word "story", Ryota came running towards me so he could sit on my lap.

"Story?" Ryota asked while looking up at me before getting comfortable in my lap.

"Yes, story." I replied before I pecked Ryota on the forehead and started my fable.

_A man and his son were once going with their donkey to the market. As they were walking along its side a countryman passed them and said: "You fools, what is a donkey for but to ride upon?"_

_So the man put the boy on the donkey and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said: "See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides."_

_So the man ordered his son to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn't gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other: "Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along."_

_Well, the man didn't know what to do, but at last he took his son up before him on the donkey, by this time they had come to town, and the passer-byers began to jeer and point at them. The man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at and the men said: "Aren't you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey of yours and your hulking son?"_

_The man and the boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole, tied the donkey's feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met them till they came to the market bridge, when the donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle, the donkey fell over the bridge and with his fore-feet being tied together, the donkey drowned._

_"That will teach you," said an old man that had followed the man, boy, and donkey, "please all, and you will please none."__**[1]**_

"That was pretty depressing." Heisuke said after I finished my story. "I thought you were going to try to make me feel better by telling me a cheerful story."

"Cheerful or not, think about what the old man said at the end of the story: please all, and you will please none." I said with a sad smile. "You can try to make everyone happy and try to get every to think of the Shinsengumi in a positive light, but it will be impossible in the end. The point of this story is not to have a happy end, but to teach a lesson."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Heisuke asked while looking a bit put off by the truth of the fable.

"Before you have to live with everyone else's opinion, you have to be able to live with yourself and the choices you make. Make your choices based on what you believe and follow them through." I answered as I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "And who's to say that your beliefs won't influence people to be better people? One person at a time and before you know it, you'll be able to move mountains."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Heisuke finally said as he shot me a small familiar grin. "Thanks, Shizuka-chan. That cleared things up a bit. By the way, where's Souji? He's not on patrol right now, so where is he? I thought he would be running around the courtyard with Ryota."

"Oji-san!" Ryota chirped when I opened my mouth.

That was his way of trying to explain where Souji had gone, but that may have ended up just confusing Heisuke more. Ryota always just called all of his "uncles" Oji-san and never used their names, so most of the time no one would be able to figure out which "uncle" he was referring to.

"Souji went out with Saito-san a bit earlier to pick up a custom order of some sort." I clarified when I saw Heisuke's puzzled face before I muttered in irritation, "Although, he never told me what."

"If I did tell you then it wouldn't be much of a surprise, would it?" Souji's voice suddenly chimed in, causing me to look to the left. Souji and Saito-san were back from picking up whatever they left to get earlier this morning.

"Tou-san!" Ryota exclaimed before he jumped out of my lap to run to his father.

Souji grinned at Ryota's enthusiasm before he knelt down and gave Ryota a one-armed hug, which I thought was strange. Souji wrapped one arm around Ryota but kept the other behind his back. He was totally hiding something. And once Souji saw my suspicious glance thrown his way, he winked playfully before he focused back onto his son.

"Were you good for Okaa-san while Tou-san was away?" Souji asked Ryota with a playful glint glittering in the corners of his eyes.

Ryota nodded wordlessly as he practically vibrated in place before he looked to Saito-san off to Souji's side and then back to Souji. I bet everyone could tell that Ryota was expecting to be given something new to play with.

"Alright then." Souji said as he ruffled Ryota's hair, slightly messing up the tussle of hair that was tied into a small ponytail. "I have something for you, but you have to trade me something for it."

"Baso?" Ryota asked, reverting back to baby talk when he couldn't find the right word to say.

Ryota looked around for something to give to his father, but there was nothing of any real value to give up. Then Ryota looked down at his adored twig in his hands for a long second before he looked up at his father. He squinted at his father before looking back down at his twig, then back up again. Then, while looking somewhat heartbroken, Ryota offered up his twig hesitantly.

"Sword?" Ryota asked Souji with small tears appearing in the corner of his eyes.

Souji chuckled at Ryota's whole display before he pat Ryota comfortingly on the back. "That will be good enough, but don't be so sad. I have something better for you." Souji said before he took the twig as payment from Ryota and revealed what he was holding with his other hand behind his back.

The instant Ryota's eyes fell on what lied in Souji's hands, his tears instantly evaporated as he rushed to grab the item in excitement. And this was also the point where I wondered if this was a good idea. What lied in Souji's hand was a tiny wooden sword. I guess it was about the length of a tantō, but it was long enough for Ryota to consider it a bokken. Souji grinned widely when his present was accepted with such glee and helped Ryota tuck the sword into his obi. Once the sword was snuggly tucked into his obi, Ryota rushed to draw the wooden sword clumsily before staring at it with awe.

This wooden sword wasn't like the normal bland bokken the men used in practice. It looked…fancy? The first thing I noticed was that the wooden sword even had its own sheath. The handle of the wooden sword was wrapped with ray skin and an overlay of fine black silk for the tsuka-ito[2]. The tsuba[3], like the rest of the sword was made out of wood, but it had an exquisitely carving of a dragon carved into it as its motif. For the blade of the wooden sword, since it was made out of wood, there was no hamon line[4], but the grain in the wood had been displayed beautifully. The sheath of this fancy wooden sword was made from a beautiful Japanese cedar that had turned into a greenish-black color from being treated with fire. And to continue the motif from the tsuba, there was also a dragon carved onto the sheath.

After Ryota drew the small wooden sword from its sheath in excitement, Saito-san, who had remained silent this whole time, let out a small cough and nudged Souji with his knee.

"Oh." Souji added offhandedly quickly after the nudge, "Oji-san also has something for you."

At this point, Saito-san bent down to Ryota's height and pulled out a daifukumochi[5] wrapped in paper from his sleeve and offered it to Ryota. Ryota, in all his glee, quickly accepted the snack too before he paused and looked down at his hands in bewilderment. Dangling from one hand was his new wooden sword and sitting in his other hand was a delicious snack. Clearly, he knew he had to free up one hand in order to eat the snack or to play with his new favorite item. After what must have been a difficult decision for him, Ryota walked up to me and placed the snack in my hands.

"No eat. I eat. Later." Ryota said to me firmly before he ran back out to the courtyard to swing his new sword.

Saito-san seemed to nod in approval at Ryota's attitude before he walked out to where Ryota was attempting to swing the sword. It appeared the sword was heavier than what Ryota expected it to be and he was now having some difficultly swinging the thing around.

"You will want to put your hands further away from each other on the handle. That will distribute the weight of the sword better and make it easier to swing." Saito-san said as he knelt down next to Ryota to move Ryota's hands. "Then you will want to spread your legs out more for a proper stance."

"Looks like Hajime-kun's forever the instructor." Souji commented as he came to take a seat next to me so he could put his hand on my forehead to check my temperature. "How are you feeling right now? Still fatigued?"

"A little." I admitted as I continued to watch Saito-san instruct Ryota. I wonder how much of Saito-san's instructions did Ryota really understand. He wasn't even two yet, but that would change in a month.

"Huh?" Heisuke said, perking up when he heard Souji asking me about my health. "You're sick, Shizuka-chan?"

"No. I've just been a bit more fatigue lately and sore in some places among other things. It's nothing serious."

Heisuke looked unconvinced by my answer, but he didn't try to argue with me. Souji let out a sigh at my answer and withdrew his hand before shooting me a look that said that he wasn't convinced either.

"Well, if Shizuka-chan says so… By the way, Souji, do you think it's really a good idea to give Ryota a wooden sword right now?" Heisuke said as he turned his attention to Souji. "What if he starts hitting people with it or hurts himself?"

"He'll be fine." Souji replied as he turned to watch Ryota trying to copy Saito-san. "Ryota's a lot smarter than people give him credit for. Besides, if he starts to hit people with it then it's not like it'll be a bad thing since the only person he'll be hitting is Hijikata-san and maybe Itou-san."

"Ho? Care to repeat that?" an angry sounding voice sounded behind us, causing Heisuke to jump in fright and Souji to tilt his head backwards slightly to smirk impishly at the owner of the voice.

"Hmm? Why would Hijikata-san want me to repeat that?" Souji goaded on Hijikata-san, the owner of the voice from before. "Is it because Hijikata-san is deaf now too?"

"Um!" Chizuru-chan, who arrived with Hijikata-san earlier, quickly chimed in to prevent another argument from breaking out. "Kondou-san is requesting everyone go to the main hall for a meeting. He has something to discuss with everyone regarding the meeting he just came back from with Aizu."

"You heard what she said! Move!" Hijikata-san barked before shooting one more dirty look at Souji.

* * *

Hijikata-san cleared his throat before his eyebrow seemed to twitch in annoyance. "Shinpachi! Why the hell are you eating right now during this meeting!" he barked when he decidedly had enough.

"Because I can't let this go to waste, especially while it's still hot." Shinpachi-san said with his mouth full before he continued munching on his senbei[6]. "Besides, Chinatsu-chan made it especially for me, so I have to eat it. Yum!"

Hijikata-san's eyebrow seemed to twitch some more before he turned to Otou-san in annoyance. Otou-san was the one who called the meeting, but he hadn't bothered to start it once everyone gathered in the main hall. Once Ryota entered the main hall, he ran off to show his grandfather his new toy and since then both people had been occupied with discussing the wooden sword.

"Kondou-san!" Hijikata-san breathed out exasperatedly. "You can play with Ryota later. Starting the meeting is much more important right now."

"Err… Right!" Otou-san instantly exclaimed while straightening his posture after being scolded by Hijikata-san.

Hijikata-san sighed before shooting a look at me. Right…

"Chizuru-chan, can you go brew some tea for all of us. Somebody might need to have a stress reliever before he pops a vein." I whispered to Chizuru-chan.

She quickly nodded silently before excusing herself so she could go brew some tea.

"Ryota, come over here." I then said to my son. "You can tell Ojii-chan all about your new toy later. Ojii-chan needs to work now. You can come over here and eat the snack Oji-san brought for you earlier while Ojii-chan is working."

Understanding what I was saying, Ryota quickly ran over to me and placed his toy sword on the floor beside me before climbing into my lap and plucking his snack out of my hand. Now that was taken care of, the meeting could actually start now. Otou-san coughed once to clear his throat before he began speaking.

"As we all know, all of Japan is upon dire times. Not only did the Shogun pass away at an ill time, but because he passed away at such an ill time that the bakufu's armies were defeated in the second expedition. Now is the time to be vigilant. Now, at the meeting I had with Aizu, I had been notified that the bulletin boards by Sanjo Bridge have been vandalized. The bulletin board that declared the Choshu as the enemy was ripped off and thrown into the river. The radicals have grown bold."

"Yes, this is all true, but perhaps it is best to get down to the reason you have called us all here, Kondou-san." Sannan-san commented patiently with a seemingly kind smile.

"Err…right. As I was saying, the bulletin boards have been vandalized and the Shinsengumi have been ordered to guard the board." Otou-san continued before thanking Chizuru-chan when she reappeared with some tea for everyone.

"Alright, so you all heard what Kondou-san said." Hijikata-san said, stepping in with a voice full of authority. "On top of normal patrol, you will all be put on guard duty. The patrol schedule will remain the same. Two divisions will patrol Kyoto at a given time and as for guard duty, we will have one division guard the boards at a time. The first division to guard the boards will be Division One and rotate in order to the last division before repeating. The shift change for guard duty will occur at the same time as the shift change for patrol duty."

After Hijikata-san finished giving everyone their new orders, Itou let out a tired sounding sigh that had a hint of Itou's condescending nature, irking Hijikata-san to no end.

"Do you have a problem with our duties, Itou-san?" Hijikata-san almost seemed to growl.

"No, no." Itou replied with a wave of his hand. "While guarding the bulletin boards is important, I just think it's rather pointless for the bakufu to expend any energy to guard the bulletin boards now, especially when they have more serious problems to deal with. They just shamefully lost the Second Expedition. My, my, the bakufu sure has been losing its grip nowadays."

After Itou spoke, the room fell quiet. Even Ryota was nervously quiet from the negative energy he could feel emanating from some of the men. Several faces in the room had grown dark, Hijikata-san's above all. As for Otou-san, he nervously looked around the room, desperate to keep a fight from breaking out.

"Oh my, so many terrifying faces." Itou commented breaking the silence that he created. "Surely someone in this room agrees with me, like perhaps Shizuka-san? Tell me we are not all just blind sheep who will dumbly follow poorly thought out orders?"

Me? Why was he dragging me into this? The only reason I was at this meeting was because everyone always told me everything so there was no point in barring me from a meeting. Allowing me to join in on meetings let me hear everything at its source so I wouldn't waste other people's time by digging the information out of them. I wasn't here to contribute to the meeting.

"I have to agree with Itou on this one." I finally said after a deep breath. "Instead of wasting time on guarding something so small, like the bulletin boards, the bakufu needs to stomp out the radicals as fast as possible if the bakufu wishes to remain stable. If the bakufu does not deal with the radicals now then the Shogunate will topple. All the signs of a civil war have already started to appear. However, this does not change the orders that the Shinsengumi received. If the Shinsengumi is ordered to guard the bulletin board then so be it. Refusing to follow orders will just aid in the decline of the Shogunate and will bring down harsh punishment on the Shinsengumi as a whole."

"Shizuka." Hijikata-san spoke up afterwards before giving me a sharp look. "It's time for you to go prepare lunch."

"Got it. Got it." I replied tiredly as I passed Ryota to Souji. I figured Hijikata-san wouldn't want me to get involved, especially if Itou was planning something, and with Itou being the snake he was, he was always planning something.

* * *

Watching Ryota swing his new wooden sword around, I realized how talented he was, or at least how much smarter he was than what we all gave him credit for. With young kids, especially those under three years old, most people would think that they didn't actually understand much. While that was true to an extent, adults more often underestimated kids. As Ryota swung his wood sword around, his form was excellent. There were some imperfect stances, but considering that he was twenty-three months old, I would think that was forgivable.

"Okaa-san! See! See!" Ryota chirped gleefully before he ran up to me to latch onto my leg.

"Yes, I see." I answered as I watched him let go of my leg to go latch on to Chizuru-chan's leg. While I thought he was talented, right now I was really wishing that he went to bed already. It was past his bedtime.

"I good?" he asked Chizuru-chan with large adorable eyes.

Chizuru-chan paused from sweeping the leaves off the stone path to answer, "Yes, just like your otou-san. What do you think, Saito-san?"

Saito-san nodded silently with approval and a small smile on his lips. He put on his blue haori first before he walked over to Ryota and patted him on the head. "Excellent, but do not forget you can keep improving."

"Ex-ex-excel… Boo!" Ryota said as he tried to repeat what Saito-san said, but ended up scrunching his face up at the longer word before the shuffling of several men caught his attention.

In an instant, Ryota darted off, with wooden sword in hand, towards the large group of men that just returned to headquarters. He quickly weaved through the many legs until he found the pair he was most familiar with before he threw his arms around them, ignoring the other legs he accidently hit with his wooden sword as he did so. The owner of those pair of legs chuckled before bending down to pick Ryota up.

"Tou-san! Tou-san!"

"Good to see you too, kid." Souji said with a grin before he started to walk towards where Saito-san, Chizuru-chan, and I were standing.

"So how was the first shift of guard duty?" I asked Souji before I dusted off a patch of dirt I saw on his uniform. When was the last time I washed that haori? Was I really tired enough to start neglecting the laundry a bit?

"It was boring." Souji said with a pout before joking, "Only if we were attack by a few ronin, then I would have been allowed to kill a few of them."

"Souji, your job was to guard the bulletin boards, not to kill ronin right now." Saito stated with a no-nonsense attitude before he directed his men over to wait at the front gates. The next guard shift was Division Two

"Yeah, Yeah." Souji said as he waved off Saito-san's scolding with a carefree shrug. "Have fun on guard duty and try not to fall asleep."

Saito-san just merely nodded before he led his men out of headquarters towards their job for the night. They probably wouldn't be back until morning.

"Now," Souji said as he focused on Ryota, "what are you still doing up? I'm pretty sure it's past your bedtime. You know, your Okaa-san needs to sleep too. She's been really tired lately."

"He didn't want to go to bed without you." I answered for Ryota before I pried the wooden sword out of Ryota's hand. "And he was having too much fun with your little present."

"Hmm…" Souji just hummed before he eyed the broom in Chizuru-chan's hands. "Chizuru-chan, why are you sweeping right now? The sun already set so I'm pretty sure it's difficult to see if the path is dirty without the sunlight."

"Oh!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed before she blushed and sheepishly looked away. "I just wanted to do something and I thought the path could be swept a bit more."

"Go to sleep and do that in the morning." Souji said before he began ushering me towards our bedroom. "Night."

"Good night!" Chizuru-chan quickly said before scurrying away.

Souji didn't say anything else as he cheerfully escorted me back to our room with Ryota still in his arms. Once we got to our room, Souji wordlessly took the wooden sheath from Ryota's obi and handed it to me before tucking our son in bed. Ryota let out a small yawn before he instantly knocked out. So he was tired.

I sheathed Ryota's wooden sword and placed it on the floor next to Ryota before I went over to Souji and helped him remove his uniform and forehead guard.

"So, boring?" I asked again just for the sake of starting up another conversation.

"Yeah." Souji said as he watched me toss his uniform in the dirty laundry pile before he scrutinized me. "I know I asked this yesterday, but are you okay?"

"I just tire more easily and have shortness of breath very easily." I answered as I began to disrobe so I could put on my sleepwear. I paused when Souji grabbed my wrist and gave me a hard look.

"You may think everything's okay, but your symptoms aren't normal and the fact you're not worried tells me you know what's going on." Souji said as he placed his hand on my forehead to check my temperature again. "Tell me what's going on. Is it stress?"

"No." I said with a small blush before averting my gaze.

Unhappy with me averting my gaze, Souji placed his hand on my cheek and redirected my line of sight so I was looking directly at him before he raised a single brow to tell me to continue with my explanation.

"I didn't want to say anything because I'm not actually sure yet. I think I'm pregnant again."

"Pregnant?" Souji parroted with expression of surprise mixed with something else. "Wait, how can you not be sure yet?"

"Well, I have no morning sickness, but each pregnancy is known to vary. My flow is only late by one week right now and my breasts are sore, not to mention I have those symptoms I just mention earlier. I'll probably have to wait one more week before I'm certain these aren't just the symptoms of a late flow about to start."

"So possibly pregnant." Souji said before he placed a hand on my lower abdomen. "I hope our next one will be a girl."

* * *

[1] Aeop's Fable: The Man, Boy, and Donkey

[2] The traditional wrapping on a katana's handle.

[3] The hilt of a katana.

[4] The wave-like pattern on the blade of a katana. The hamon is the hardening line that appears during the traditional process of forging a katana.

[5] Daifukumochi (大福餅), or Daifuku (大福) (literally "great luck"), is a Japanese confection consisting of a small round mochi (glutinous rice cake) stuffed with sweet filling, most commonly anko, sweetened red bean paste made from azuki beans.

[6] Senbei (煎餅, alternatively spelled sembei) are a type of Japanese rice crackers. They come in various shapes, sizes, and flavors, usually savory but sometimes sweet. Senbei are often eaten with green tea as a casual snack and offered to visiting house guests as a courtesy refreshment.


	90. Chapter 87

**Chapter 87**

"Reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction." ― Kahlil Gibran, _The Prophet_

"Alright. I'll be right there. Just lemme change first." I heard Souji whisper in a hushed and almost secretive voice as I stirred from sleep.

I peeked up from under the blankets just to barely miss who was at the door. I watched Souji close the door and start stripping off his sleepwear so he could change into his day clothing. Did something happen? It was the middle of the night right now. Maybe something happened at the bulletin boards. If I recall correctly, it was supposed to be Sano-san's division on guard duty tonight. Deciding it was better to ask instead of continually guessing. I spoke up just loud enough to get Souji's attention and quiet enough not to wake up Ryota.

"Did something happen?" I whispered, causing Souji to jump, just ever so slightly, before he turned his head slightly towards me.

"And here I was thinking that I was being quiet. Sorry, did I wake you?" he asked sweetly.

"You didn't answer my question." I pointed out, making Souji shift his eyes subtly. I narrowed my eyes. He was acting suspicious.

"It's nothing too important." he replied nonchalantly without telling me any real information once he settled on what to say.

I scowled at him, causing him to avert his gaze again and sigh tiredly. Oh please, let's not do this dance again. He kept important information from me when I was pregnant with Ryota because of the fear that bad news or stressful news would put the pregnancy in danger, but I wasn't going to let him get away with it this time.

"Fine, if you won't tell me then I'll just go with you to the meeting." I said with a childish huff as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"No, you aren't." Souji said firmly as he scowled back at me. "Remember our agreement?"

Ah yes, our "agreement". Two weeks after I confided in Souji, when I told him that I thought I was pregnant again, it was actually confirmed. My period still didn't come, I developed light morning sickness, and certain smells started bothering me. Thankfully the odors didn't bother me enough to the point of vomiting, like when I was pregnant with Ryota, so I was able to keep cooking without anyone noticing anything. However, it didn't matter if certain smells didn't bother me to the point of vomiting, Souji didn't want me working in the kitchen anymore and so we kept butting heads. So in the end we had to make an agreement. I could continue working as usual as long as someone couldn't tell I was pregnant in exchange for not sticking my nose into anything Souji deemed as "dangerous". Because of this, Souji wasn't actually allowed to tell anyone I was pregnant until I started showing, but I feel like I still got the short end of the stick. Because this would be my second pregnancy, if I didn't count the miscarriage, I would actually start showing much earlier because my skin had already been stretched out once from the first pregnancy. In fact, if I wasn't wearing any clothing right now then it would already be obvious I was expecting. I already had a bump on my once flat abdomen, larger than it was with my previous pregnancy. Although, I will say that the fact I am already showing more than one usually would at five weeks is a bit strange. Maybe I miscounted how far along I was? I don't know, it was pretty hard to tell without an ultrasound.

"Well, if it was really dangerous then you would be more tense." I argued back, my scowl deepening.

"Well, maybe I'm faking my calmness in hopes you won't ask about what happened."

"You aren't, I can tell when you're faking or not."

"Well, our agreement says 'whatever I consider dangerous' and I say this is dangerous enough. So there." he finished childishly with a nod as he finished tying his sash. "Besides, someone has to stay and watch Ryota. He needs plenty of sleep right now and I don't want to wake him up to bring him with us just because SOMEONE was curious."

I bit my lip at Souji after that to stop myself from complaining more. He had a point. I let out one more enraged huff of disappointment to let Souji know he had won.

"Go back to sleep. I'll be back later." Souji said as his hand reached for the door again.

"Wait." I said, causing Souji to pause and tilt his head back at me. "Will you at least tell me what happened?"

Souji didn't bother answering me with words. All he did was wink at me before giving me a shit-eating grin and quickly slipped out the door before I had a chance to growl at him again. Stupid hubby! So even when I agreed not to go he still wasn't going to tell me. Well, there was more than one source of information.

Carefully rolling out of bed so that I wouldn't disturb Ryota, who was sleeping on the futon attached to mine and Souji's futon, I stood up and quietly ghosted over to the door so I could poke my head out. The hallways were pretty empty, there were no foot soldiers around. This meant that either whatever happened wasn't important enough to arouse the other soldiers or only the captains were needed, which in turn meant that it was just some administrative work or a rasetsu was on the loose. But considering I didn't hear any moaning, wood breaking, or screams of: "Blood! Give me blood!" there probably wasn't a rasetsu on the loose. Well, that was all the information I could get just from observing the empty hallway. I guess I could just go back to bed and wait for Souji to return so I could grill him for answers.

However, it appeared that I wouldn't need to grill Souji for answers when he returned. Just as I was about to shut the door again, I saw Inoue-san walking down the hall in a relaxed rush. He was probably running a bit late to the meeting that was called. Maybe he'll tell me what's going on without giving me any grief, like Souji did.

"Inoue-san." I called out to him as I waved him over. He smiled kindly at me before heading over to where my head was poking out the door.

"Ah, Shizuka-chan, how are you doing tonight? I thought you would have headed over to the meeting too, like Souji did." Inoue-san said while offering a kind smile before he gently patted my head through force of habit.

I offered up a polite smile at his friendliness. Seriously, I always thought Inoue-san was the sweetest man ever. I swear he's like that favorite uncle that'll buy you an extra-large birthday cake and sneak you an extra present at the same time.

"I would have, but Ryota's sleeping right now and I don't want to disturb him by moving him and there has to be one person watching him at all times. If I leave then he'll be left alone." I answered without telling him the main reason Souji made me stay behind. "Besides, I'm technically not an official member of the Shinsengumi and I'm not needed at the meeting. Though, could you tell me what happened? I dislike being uninformed."

"It appears that a group of men attacked Harada-san and his men while they were guarding the bulletin boards. The men that attack had the aim of vandalizing the boards. Harada-san captured the bulk of the men and brought them back." Inoue-san explained. "We're interrogating them right now before they get picked up by the government officials."

"Oh." I said. No wonder Souji didn't want me there. Interrogations were always nasty. "Was anyone hurt?"

"Harada-san is alright himself, but there were two men that were slashed in the back, but it's nothing to worry about. Souji took the liberty of telling Yamazaki-san and Yukimura-san to deal with it. He said that you need your sleep now." said Inoue-san.

Souji said that, now did he? I really wish Souji would stop trying to take away my work. I get that he's worried about me overstressing myself, but I actually had a tendency to stress even more when I didn't have any work. Besides, some stress was healthy for the body.

"I see. Thank you for your time, Inoue-san." I said politely as I bowed slightly. "You should probably get going. I've already held you back long enough. You're a captain too so you'll be needed at the meeting."

"Alright, then I'm off." he replied cheerfully before he took off once more and disappeared down the hall.

When Inoue-san took off, I stared out the open door for a few more seconds and slid it shut when a cold breeze blew by. It was autumn and already cold enough to be early winter, in my opinion. I had a feeling there was going to be a cold winter this year. Once the door was closed, I sighed and slumped against the wall as I stared at the ceiling. I wonder, who were those men that attacked Sano-san and his men? The bulletin boards that were being guarded declared the Choshu as the enemy. So the men that attacked, were they the Choshu themselves? Or was it possible that it was the allies of the Choshu? Maybe it was just the men who were against the Shogun? The bakufu did feel like it was falling apart these days. Was this really a good time to fall pregnant?

"…Okaa-san?" a small, tired mumble said, bringing my attention back to reality. Sitting up on his futon and rubbing his eyes, Ryota looked at the empty futon to his right before looking at me. "Where Tou-san?"

"Ah, Otou-san went to a meeting." I answered Ryota gently before I made my way over to where he was.

I sat down on his futon and Ryota wasted no time draping himself half on my lap. He smiled to himself and kicked his feet up and down as I ran my fingers through his hair. He really was starting to look like his father more and more each day. Whenever I tied his hair back into a small ponytail, he exactly resembled what Souji looked like when I first met him, just a smaller version.

"You should go back to sleep. Even a big boy needs to get his sleep to grow stronger." I said before I pecked him on the top of his head.

"But Tou-san!" Ryota protested with a sad looking frown.

"Otou-san will come back soon."

Instead of protesting some more or tucking himself back into his futon to go back to sleep, he sat up to stop lounging around on my lap, grabbed his wooden sword, and crawled over to mine and Souji's empty futon. Once he got to the usual spot where his father slept, Ryota deposited the wooden sword on the floor beside him and quickly made himself comfortable by disappearing under the blankets and pushing his face into his father's pillow. Snuggly in place, he peeked one eye up at me with an expectant glance that seemed to say, "Mom isn't going to let me sleep here by myself, is she?" I couldn't help but giggle at his antics before I crawled back into bed myself.

I laid a hand on Ryota's cheek affectionately once I was back in bed and facing Ryota. "You know, you're going to be an ani soon." I couldn't help but muse out loud.

Ryota didn't say anything as he blinked at me in confusion before he wiggled closer to me and closed his eyes. And here I thought he wasn't going to go back to sleep without Souji around. Ryota really had become super attached to Souji these past few months and it was sweet how much they bonded. It made me wonder: if this baby was I was pregnant with right now was going to be girl, would I bond with her the way Souji bonded with Ryota? Sure, I knew Ryota loved me too, but it had always felt like there was a particularly special bond between Souji and Ryota. I wanted something like that for myself too. If I had a daughter this time, would I have that bond too?

"I wonder." I couldn't help but say out loud before I closed my eyes. No real point in wondering though. I just had to be patient and wait.

I don't know how much time passed before Souji came back, but it only felt like seconds. Just as I was about to drift back into sleep, I jumped slightly when I heard the door silently open. It was Souji returning from his meeting. He probably thought I was asleep again and didn't want to wake me, or at least he hoped. He was most likely thinking, "Please be asleep so you don't drill me for answers. Please be asleep. Please be asleep. Please be asleep." He softly stepped around the futon to his side before he slowly, so that the sound of cloth wouldn't "wake" me, began undressing for bed again. Just as he was about to untie his hakama, he froze as he turned and saw me staring at him blankly.

"Err…" Souji managed blunder out before he sagged and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. I could already tell he was bracing himself for a barrage of questions he did NOT want to answer, and when I didn't say anything, he quirked an eyebrow at me in confusion.

"Hi." I chirped in a hushed voice as I propped my head up on the palm of my hand and elbow and shot a coy smile at him.

Souji blinked at me in confusion before he finally found his voice again. "Shizuka…? You ARE awake, right? I'm not just seeing things…? Why are you not drilling me for answers…?" he said before he added in a rush, "I mean, it's not that I want you to drill me for answers—I… Err…"

I couldn't help but burry my face into my pillow so I could burst out giggling at his whole nervous display without waking up Ryota. Souji was just fumbling all over the place. I mean, I know that Souji hated it when I was persistently stubborn with him and how much worse it was when I was stupidly hormonal, but I just thought Souji was acting hilarious.

"S-Sorry about that." I said as I stifled one last giggle. "I couldn't help myself."

Souji let out a stress-riddled sigh before glancing wearily at me again. "Glad me panicking was enough to entertain you." he joked sarcastically. "But seriously, you're not going to ask about…well…"

"Nope." I replied, making it a point to annoyingly pop the p. "I managed to snag Inoue-san on his way to the meeting to ask what was going on. While there was probably new information that came into light during the meeting, I'm not going to start an argument with you right now to extract the information."

"Oh? And what brought about this change in attitude?" Souji said, tension leaving his body as he came to take a seat next to me on the futon, but grinned when he saw the person slumbering in his spot and instead took his seat on the other side of me. "So it looks like I was replaced." he joked playfully.

"Oh yes." I joked along. "You were replaced by someone far more handsome than you."

"Hey!" he exclaimed as he feigned a flinched and placed a hand over his heart. "That hurt right here. Besides, Ryota had to get his good looks from somewhere. He's just copying me."

"Is that so?' I quirked a foxy eyebrow at him before I lightly pecked him on the lips.

"Yup." he said before he nudged me with his elbow. "Hey, scoot over and make some room for me."

"Aren't you going to change back into your sleeping robe first?"

"I don't feel like changing anymore. Besides, I'll just have to get up in a few hours again. I don't really see the point in changing anymore." he said with a shrug.

Now that won't do. I elbowed him in the side just hard enough to make him jump.

"No being lazy or sloppy. If you sleep in those clothes then they'll get wrinkled." I lightly scolded him, causing him to pout a bit before tugging on my cheek. "Hey!" I swatted his hand away.

"But I'm not even working tomorrow. I get to look lazy tomorrow if I want to!"

I jabbed him one more time in the side with my elbow to make him jump to his feet out of the bed before I shortly followed him. "Nope, I don't think so. I need to go grocery shopping tomorrow and I need you to come with me. No looking sloppy if we're going out." I said as I came to stand behind him so I could pull his hakama loose from behind. "I'll help you get changed, so no more complaining, okay?"

"Fine, fine." he replied with a cheerful and satisfied tone despite that scowl on his face. "So," he said to change subjects, "what were you thinking about when I was gone?"

"Well…" I said with a small smile as I paused what I was doing so I could take his hand and gently lay it flat against my growing belly. "Ryota's going to be to an ani soon."

"So he is." he said before playfully nuzzling the side of my face to entice a small giggle out of me. "And what else were you thinking?"

"That I might have miscounted my weeks." I admitted with a small embarrassed blush after a few seconds. A trained surgeon making that type of mistake… That certainly felt embarrassing. "I feel like I'm further along in my pregnancy than five weeks. I certainly feel like I'm larger than I should be for five weeks. I'll probably start showing through my clothing in a week or two."

"Is that so?" Souji said as he pulled his face away from mine to glance down at my belly. "I don't think you made a mistake. You're always so careful with these type of things. You're probably just carrying a larger baby this time around. But that also probably means it's a boy too…" he said while looking a bit disappointed.

"Well that's not always true." I commented as I flicked Souji's nose playfully. "The baby could just be a big girl. Superstition isn't listed as fact for a reason, you know."

* * *

"So, where's Nagakura-san?" Chinatsu chimed as she skipped through the headquarters' front gate and bounced up to me.

"Back again for a visit?" I asked almost impishly as I poked at her side playfully.

"Hey! Quit that!" she spat like an annoyed cat before her attention was drawn to Souji playing with Ryota in the courtyard.

Those two were frolicking around in the courtyard, Ryota with his wooden sword and Souji with a small branch. They were playing some sort of game with sword fights or something.

"So, where's Nagakura-san?" she repeated again. "I know he's supposed to be here. He's not scheduled to be on patrol right now."

"How's your arm?" I asked, ignoring her previous question. She scowled at me before planting her butt next to mine on the roka.

"Fine. It's fine." she answered as she exhaled loudly. "It just twinges a bit every once in a while when it rains, but it's bearable."

"Sorry."

"Stop apologizing. If it weren't for you then I would only have one arm right now. So what if my arm hurts every time it rains. It's better than having no arm to feel pain. It's not your fault my arm had complications when it was healing."

"So, Shinpachi-san?" I asked as I wrapped my arm around Chinatsu's shoulder for a small side hug.

"Yup. Where is he?"

"He's training his men in the dojo right now." I said before I mischievously threw in a few more words. "You know how warm it gets in there sometimes. He probably stripped off his shirt. If you go now then you get to see his bare chest sparkle from the sweat dripping down his magnificent muscles. He might even show off a bit if he sees you watching him."

Chinatsu vibrated in place after my extra description with a blush crawling up her face before she vanished in a gust of wind. "Thanks! Love you!" she called back as she sprinted towards the dojo. Ha, that was cute.

"Well, someone's excited." someone said as he approached me from my left. It was Sano-san returning from his meeting with Aizu. I think Aizu had a reward or something for him for capturing those men from yesterday night. "But aren't you worried about Chinatsu pinning after someone that's so much older than her?"

"Not really." I answered truthfully. It really wasn't that uncommon for people with huge age gaps to be in a relationship in this time period and I thought it would be fine as long as Chinatsu got a bit older first before doing anything. "Besides, Shinpachi-san's a good man, just oblivious. I don't think he's even realized Chinatsu has a crush on him. Poor Chinatsu."

Sano-san grinned at my response and ruffled my hair with his large hand before he called over to Souji. "Oi, Souji! Come over here for a bit."

"Huh? Sano-san?" Souji said before he caught Ryota's attack with his bare hand, causing Ryota to protest. "What is it?"

"The Sumiya at Shimabara. Are you up for it tonight? You too, Shizuka." Sano-san asked. "I'm inviting everyone with the reward money from last night's arrests. You guys coming?"

"Sure." Souji answered offhandedly before he returned to playing with Ryota.

"Wait. Shimabara?" I asked as I arched a brow at Sano-san. "You know that women, unless they work there, aren't really allowed."

Shimabara was almost the equivalent to a gentlemen's club in modern terms. Women weren't allowed in if they weren't red-light district workers and they most definitely weren't served, even if it was just food. While I had been down there several times before, it was always for work and never for anything else.

"It's fine." Sano-san answered as he placed his hands on his hips. "You know they love you down there for all the work you do for them. The mortality rate from syphilis alone as dropped significantly since you extended your treatment services to them. I'm sure they'll make an exception for you. Besides, when have gender restrictions ever stopped you?"

True, it's just I never had a formal dinner down there. It was a bit nerve-racking.

"Okay then, but what about Ryota?" I asked. "I don't know about you, but I am NOT letting my son go down to Shimabara when he's this young."

"Just leave him with Kondou-san, Gen-san, or Sannan-san for the night. Those three aren't going. Sannan-san and Gen-san still aren't fond of going down to red-light districts and Kondou-san would rather use his time tonight to write to Tsune-san and Tamako-chan. I'm sure either would be thrilled to watch Ryota for the night."

"Alright." I caved. "Is Chizuru-chan coming too?"

"Of course." Sano-san replied with a wide grin. "It's a pity we can't have Chizuru-chan dress like a girl, so we definitely won't waste the privileges that come with fact that she has to dress like a boy. No one will ever expect she's a girl if she comes with us."

* * *

"Sano, you've really done us a service!" Shinpachi-san cheered happily with his arms around Sano-san's shoulder as we headed to Sumiya for the night. "I never thought you'd use the reward money to treat us all."

Oh geez, Shinpachi-san sounded so cheerful that one would have think that he had been deprived of female companionship for a minimum of five years.

"Shinpachi-san," Souji wryly said as he pointed to Sano-san with one lax hand, "if you want to praise him, you should mention that he protected the bulletin boards."

"Yeah, of course." Shinpachi-san replied without dialing his excitement down one bit before running to the entrance of the Sumiya once we arrived in order to hurriedly usher us inside. "Well, Sano's paying for tonight! Drink all you like, and sweep away the gloom of the day!"

"Bastard, this is MY money!" Sano-san growled at Shinpachi-san before he stepped past Shinpachi-san and into the building.

"Sano-san, thank you!" Heisuke cheered excitedly while pumping a fist into the air before following Sano-san in. "I'll be sure to drink my fill!"

"It's not like all of us can drink saké, though." Souji stated to take a jab at Hijikata-san's lousy ability to hold his alcohol as he walked pass Shinpachi-san with his arms looped around mine before he whispered teasingly into my ear. "Although, Hijikata-san isn't the only one who can't drink this time. I wonder who the other person is."

"Hush you." I said as I playfully whacked Souji's shoulder.

"Enough of that talk." Hijikata-san said as a retort to Souji's jab as he stepped into the building after us with a straight face and crossed arms. "Eat whatever food you want."

"Yeah! Yeah!" Shinpachi-san agreed with a nod before marching in with a bounce in his step after Hijikata-san, leaving Chizuru-chan and Saito-san outside.

"You're one of us now, so don't hold back on ceremony." Saito-san said kindly to Chizuru-chan before following after us.

Not wanting to be left outside alone, Chizuru-chan quickly scurried in after Saito-san and once we were all present, we were all quickly escorted to our banquet hall on the second floor.

Despite having the chance to come into banquet halls in Shimabara before, the artwork that decorated the rooms' interior never ceased to amaze me. The room was well lit with many exquisite paper lamps and smelled of incense. There were beautifully painted carnations on the walls and even the roof of the room was painted with many different colorful fans. As it was Chizuru-chan's first time in a room like this, she openly gapped at the interior décor as she sat down on her purple, silk cushion next to me. She continued gazing at the different decorations in amazement until our host for the night politely slid a door open and introduced herself.

"Greetings to you all." our host, an extraordinarily beautiful geisha that happened to be exceptionally tall, greeted us with a bow. "I shall be accompanying you gentlemen this evening. "My name is Kimigiku. I hope you have a pleasant time."

"So pretty!" I heard Chizuru-chan gasp from right next to me. Her eyes were wide, her mouth open, and she had a magnificent blush sitting on her cheeks.

Hearing that flattering comment, Kimigiku-san turned to Chizuru-chan to offer a kind smile. When Chizuru-chan received that smile, all she could do was blush some more and nod back. I could understand Chizuru-chan's reaction. Kimigiku-san was so pretty that I'm sure that she could even give Kyoko-chan a run for her money. And honestly, just looking at Kimigiku-san made me feel like I was inadequate as a woman, just a bit. A tiny bit. Okay, maybe more than a bit…

As soon as the food and the saké were brought out, the party fell into full swing. For Shinpachi-san and Heisuke, the alcohol seemed to be flowing like water. The moment the saké appeared, they just dove into it without restraint. It had only been about twenty minutes and their faces already had that familiar drunken blush.

"This high-end saké sure is great!" Heisuke exclaimed with a silly smile on his face as he held up his flask for emphasis. "It hits the throat like, BAM. BAM!"

"Heisuke." Shinpachi-san jumped in with a smug grin. "You've only been drinking, and not eating. You'll get drunk."

"It's fine for today!" Heisuke declared before he emptied another cup down his throat with a satisfied grin.

"Chizuru!" Shinpachi-san spontaneously yelled across the room in great cheer, startling the recipient into dropping a piece of bamboo back into her bowl in surprise. "You ain't drinkin', huh? How else are you goin' to get drunk?"

Chizuru-chan smiled sheepishly in embarrassment back at Shinpachi-san before answering, "Um, I can't drink, so…"

"Then eat till you're stuffed!" Shinpachi-san interrupted before he knocked back another cup.

"Well, you heard what Shinpachi-san said." I encouraged Chizuru-chan before I poured another cup of saké for Souji. Souji quietly thanked me before silently nudging me.

"Look over there." Souji whispered into my ear, also attracting Saito-san's attention, who I was sure was eavesdropping on us. "See how Chizuru-chan is watching Hijikata-san and Kimigiku-san so closely. Chizuru-chan seems to have a LONGING gaze, doesn't she?"

What?

"What do you mean?" I whispered back as I tilted my head in bewilderment. "I don't see anything?"

"Seriously?" Souji asked as he shot me an exasperated look as he arched an eyebrow. "You can tell when Chinatsu has a crush and on who, but you can't tell what Chizuru-chan's thinking? I thought that we cured your obliviousness when it came to romance back in Edo!"

"Hey! That's completely different! I can tell with Chinatsu because it's overly obvious. And plus, I could recognize Chinatsu's crushes because the first one she had was on you and she was being hostile to me about it!"

"Well, yeah." Souji admitted. "But this is overly obvious too."

"It IS not!" I exclaimed back with an offended pout. I was about to retort some more but was distracted when Heisuke and Shinpachi-san spat out their alcohol in an exaggerated manner and burst out laughing.

"Hijikata-san's already drunk, huh?" Shinpachi-san exclaimed between bouts of laughter.

"That was fast! He never could hold his liquor." Heisuke added as he almost tipped over from his own laughter.

"He can't hold it!"

And with that, Chizuru-chan let out a depressed sounding sigh after she was done staring at Hijikata-san and Kimigiku-san, causing Souji to silently mouth the words, "I told you so" to me.

"Still," Shinpachi-san spoke up cheerfully, catching everyone's attention, "if we can get this kind of money from protecting a sign board, who knows how much we can get if we catch ALL the culprits!"

"Yeah, you said it." Heisuke added on as he nodded in agreement.

"Hey, Sano." Shinpachi-san finally spoke seriously for the first time tonight despite the drunken blush on his cheeks. "Why'd you let them go? If there were eight of them, you should've been able to figure something out."

"Yeah. I thought that was weird too." Heisuke agreed as he leaned forward. "At least some of'em got caught, right?"

Sano-san let out a very distressed sounding sigh, something rather unusual for Sano-san considering all that he managed to accomplish. Then he spoke up seriously to address Chizuru-chan.

"Chizuru. Did you go out that night?"

"Huh?" Chizuru-chan gasped in surprise before answering with a truthful sounding, "No."

"Truthfully?" Sano-san asked, dangerously narrowing his eyes at Chizuru-chan.

"Yes. I'm always at headquarters at night." Chizuru-chan replied with confusion.

"Hey, what's up, Sano?" Shinpachi-san stepped in.

"It's just," Sano-san began to explain with a slight frown forming on his face, "when we went up against the Tosa soldiers, someone who looked just like Chizuru was there. And then our cordon fell apart…"

"It can't be!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed while looking aghast and guilty, but none of this could have possibly been her fault.

"You worried about what Sano-san said?" Souji asked Chizuru-chan when he noticed a guilt ridden look of bewilderment crossed her face.

"Oh!" she said with a small jump when she noticed that Souji was talking to her. "Um… yes, I am… I was wondering how someone could look just like me."

Souji seemed to grin wickedly before replying, "Maybe you got possessed. Whenever you're sleeping, a restless spirit takes over your body and you wander the streets of Kyoto, totally oblivious."

Chizuru-chan froze before she stared up at Souji wide-eyed in panic. "Do you really think that's what happened?" she asked far too nervously.

At that, I whacked Souji on the shoulder and he burst out laughing at Chizuru-chan's expense. "Hahaha! I'm just joking, Chizuru-chan. People don't really get possessed."

"W-What? You were kidding…?" Chizuru-chan stammered in shock as Souji's laughter grew even louder, causing Chizuru-chan to watch with a flustered indignation as Souji wiped a tear from his eye.

Souji cackled a bit longer before he apologized to Chizuru-chan. "That was just too much! I'm sorry. Seriously, though. Just think about what Sano-san said for a minute. You remember that girl we met out on patrol with Heisuke? The one who looked just like you? She said her name was Nagumo Kaoru, right?"

"Ah!" I exclaimed before anyone else could react. "That bitch! I bet she—!"

"Did Shizuka-chan just call another woman a bitch?!" Shinpachi-san cried in shock and bafflement at my behavior. "What happened to our sweet little Shizuka-chan?!"

"She saw Kaoru flirting with me and snapped." Souji explained just like it was no big deal as he placed a hand on the top of my head to tell me to simmer down. "Well anyways, back to Chizuru-chan."

"I don't think having someone look like me is enough to say I'm innocent…" Chizuru-chan mumbled while staring down at her unfinished food.

"Really? I didn't really think that girl looked like Chizuru-chan. After all, the other one was dressed up like a girl." Heisuke said, offering up his opinion, or rather showing his incompetence with women.

"Then we should have Chizuru dress in a girl's kimono." Saito-san, who was silent this whole time before, commented calmly as he sipped his saké.

After that suggestion, the whole room fell quiet before Chizuru-chan started to look around the room at everyone in a panic.

"Dress up Chizuru!" Heisuke exclaimed in excitement as he jumped up to his feet followed by Shinpachi-san.

"Oh, yeah! That's a good idea!" Shinpachi-san threw in before he pointed at Kimiguki-san. "Hey, Kimigiku-san! Would you dress this one in a girl's kimono for us?"

"EHHH?!" Chizuru couldn't help but stammer.

"You all—" Hijikata-san said began to get to his feet to scold everyone, but was stopped as Kimigiku-san placed her hand on his chest to prevent him from saying anything more.

"Very well. I shall do my utmost best" Kimiguki-san said with an expression on her face that just seemed to scream "challenge excepted", surprising Hijikata-san.

"Oh! I'll help too!" I couldn't help but chirp excitedly as I jumped to my feet.

I've never seen her in a woman's kimono before. It'll be fun, but Chizuru-chan seemed skeptical as she inched away from me slowly. She froze as I turned to grin at her dangerously and in an instant, I snatch her up by her arm and dragged her away to the room next to the banquet hall that Kimigiku-san pointed to.

"Have fun with your kidnapping!" Souji called back to me with a smile and a wave as I shut the door so me and Kimigiku-san could get to work.

"Shizuka-chan…?" Chizuru-chan asked nervously.

"No worries! We'll make you shine brighter than even the stars." I chirped all too happily as I opened up the makeup kit Kimigiku-san brought for me. Ah, stupid hormones. My mood was just all over the place right now.

"Okay, I brought several different kimonos. Which one do you think would look better on her?" Kimigiku-san asked as she came to sit next to me.

"Oh! That red one looks good! Now let's throw in some green from that layer. Oh, and what about that blue obi?"

"You have excellent taste!" Kimigiku-san said as she pulled out the pieces I pointed out with some excitement.

"W-Wait! Shizuka-chan!"

"Too late to run now!" I declare with an almost evil cackle. I swear Chizuru-chan even turned blue for a moment.

* * *

"Everyone. My apologies for the wait." Kimigiku-san called out from the still closed door before I opened the door and gave Chizuru-chan a gentle shove out the door.

Their reactions were priceless. Heisuke spilled all the saké he was pouring as he stared wide-eyed ahead at Chizuru-chan as Shinpachi dropped the piece of fish he was holding with his chopsticks. Sano-san and even Saito-san stared at Chizuru-chan with a blush coloring their cheeks. Even Souji, who always had something snarky to say was stunned silent for a few seconds. As for Hijikata-san, he wasn't in the room anymore. He probably stepped out for a few seconds. At her friend's reactions, Chizuru-chan couldn't even look up at them and kept her eyes trained on the tatami mats on the floor.

"H-Huh? T-That you, Chizuru?!" Heisuke asked disbelievingly as he pointed one shaky finger at her.

"Y-Yes…" Chizuru-chan mumbled in embarrassment, still unable to look up.

"Well. Talk about a change. For a second, I didn't know who it was." Souji commented as shot me a look of praise. I bet he didn't know I had the skill to dress up someone that much, but I couldn't possibly be Kyoko-chan's friend if I didn't know at least that much. That one time she dragged me off to Shimabara to spy on Kosuzu-chan was very informative.

"Well? What do you think, Sano?" Saito-san asked.

"Huh?" Sano-san asked as he snapped out of his daze. "Well, I don't know." he answered as he brought his hand up to his chin grinned. "Chizuru's so pretty that I can't tell anymore."

"Huh?!" Chizuru-chan couldn't help but say as she sucked in a sharp breath.

"You said it! Chizuru's pretty, right?!" Heisuke asked as he lept to his feet. I bet he would probably beat someone to death right now if someone disagreed.

"Yeah!" Shinpachi-san agreed as he jumped to his feet too. "She's quite the looker!"

"Huh?" Souji said as he joined in teasingly. "Shinpachi-san, fallen under her spell?"

"Idiot, don't make me blush!" Shinpachi-san replied shamelessly as he rubbed the back of his head before he laughed boisterously.

Chizuru-chan, who couldn't take all the staring anymore, grew too embarrassed and covered her face with her sleeves before she fled outside into the veranda while crying, "Please, stop it!" before she slammed the door shut behind her. Too much attention I guess.

"Hey, Shinpat-san! Why do you gotta say such weird stuff?!"

"Sorry! Sorry!" Shinpachi-san apologized sheepishly as I went back to take my seat next to Souji.

"So you didn't want to take this chance to dress up?" Souji asked me between sips of his alcoholic beverage as I sat down. "I definitely wouldn't have minded."

"Well, I wanted to." I admitted. "But my mood was all over the place as I was helping Chizuru-chan get dressed. Besides, it's not really fitting for a pregnant woman to dress up like a geisha…"

I trailed off at the last second before I realized what I just said out loud, in front of everyone. Oh snap. Stupid brain! And here I wanted to keep my pregnancy a secret for just a little longer. Now I know I was going to be locked out of the kitchen and prevented from doing "stressful work" for the remaining of the pregnancy.

Souji seemed to grin slyly at my blunder and put his hands up between me and him as if to say, "I wasn't the one who told everyone. It was you."

"Y-You're pregnant again?" Heisuke exclaimed in shock.

"What! Since when?!" Shinpachi-san jumped in as he shoved Heisuke's face into a plate of food. "Oh man! This is great! We have to party up big this time! Souji, go get Hijikata-san and Chizuru-chan back in here! Alright, Sano! Do that thing you always do!"

"Yeah! Yeah!" Heisuke chimed in as he wiped the food off of his face once he shook of Shinpachi-san's hand. "Until you do, it doesn't feel like we're drinkin' with ya!"

"I guess I have no choice." Sano-san said with a wild grin before he began to strip off his shirt, causing Heisuke to cheer and clap.

I couldn't help but giggle at the whole display before I nudged Souji in resignation. "I guess it's no longer a secret I'm pregnant, so I'll take a break from most of my duties starting tomorrow."

"That's a good girl." Souji said with a chuckle as he got to his feet. "Come on, let's go get Chizuru-chan and Hijikata-san back in here again."

Souji walked over to the veranda door and slid it open slightly to peek outside, but instead of opening the door all the way, he grinned back at me and waved me over, then he pointed at the crack to tell me to peek outside too.

"I don't understand." I said flatly once I took a look outside. Chizuru-chan and Hijikata-san were just sitting across from each other and talking. Sure, they were both smiling, which was unusual in Hijikata-san's case, but what did Souji want me to see?

"Really?" Souji asked while looking very unimpressed with me. "You don't sense that nice atmosphere enveloping them? Fine, fine, let's just interrupt them."

"Wait, then that would feel rude." I said as I quickly grabbed his arm to prevent him from opening the door completely.

"Well, according to Shizuka, there's nothing special going on so there is therefore nothing to interrupt." Souji commented with faux innocence before he opened the door completely just to smile slyly at Hijikata-san. "Oh, sorry to intrude." he said wryly before closing the door again.

Err… I kind of don't know what to think anymore?

Just as Souji began closing the door again, Shinpachi-san ran up behind me and Souji and slid the door open again. "Hey, Hijikata-san, Sano's stomach show is about to begin."

Then Heisuke appeared at the door too and stuck his head out to address Chizuru-chan. "Chizuru, you hurry up and come too!"

"Honestly, you guys don't quit, do you?" Hijikata-san said with fake resignation as he stood up from his seat beside the railings and came back in with Chizuru-chan.

The rest of that night was filled with laughter and joy. However, little did we know that this was going to be one of the last times we would be able to have fun like this together without a shadow hanging over our heads. A whirlwind was coming and it would leave devastation in its wake. No one was safe.


	91. Chapter 88

I know... Sorry this chapter was so late, but midterms came up. I really did try to get it up sooner...

* * *

**Chapter 88**

"I couldn't make my doctor's appointment because I was tied up. I'll tell you, being kidnapped can be a real inconvenience." ― Jarod Kintz, _This Book is Not FOR SALE_

Hand weaving rope was perceived as tedious work. The same motions over and over again in the same patterns hundreds and thousands of times. Many would see this task as an utterly humdrum but vital job. Rope was an essential item used in daily life, whether it was used to tie up enemies or to be used in a pulley, no one would argue its usefulness. While many would see this task of weaving rope drab despite its importance, it gave me something to focus on. I could give the rope an artistic flare as I was working on it, though I was never very artistic to begin with. It was just nice to believe I could be artistic every once in a while when it was far from the truth, and more importantly, it gave me something to do. Pregnancy, "hard labor", and Souji's worries did NOT mix well for me. Pregnancy meant to me an exciting yet boring time.

I paused to take in a brief breath of the cold morning air before I released it to see the white puffs of my hot breath leave my mouth. The December air was cold enough to freeze the dewdrops outside in seconds, but it was still not quite enough to snow. I let out a small sneeze before pulling my hanten closer for heat. Winter, my least favorite season was here. I did want to close the door to stay warmer, but I also didn't want to shut myself away from the outside world, and so the door remained open. I still hated the cold, but my dislike for the cold paled in comparison to the hiss of the effeminate snake that slithered through the halls of the temple walls.

"Ah, Shizuka-san, my dear. It is absolutely freezing in here, it would be best for you to keep the doors closed to separate you from the elements. I'm sure no one would want you to fall ill while carrying the next child of the First Division Captain, am I correct? I'm sure others would agree with me." Itou said almost too pleasantly as he peered around the open door of the bedroom to flash a plastic smile at me before feigning interest in the rope forming in my hands. "Oh, what's this? Are you weaving the rope that is to be used for the kadomatsu[1] this year?"

"Yes, of course." I replied to his inquiry with a careful smile and polite tone. "Would you like to come in and have a seat? While it is cold inside, I am sure that it is warmer inside by the brazier than outside."

It was one thing to have an unwanted snake in headquarters, but it was an all other class of distaste to have him in my living quarters. However, when playing host to an unwanted snake, I found it far wiser to invite the snake in rather than have it sneak in unseen. It had always been harder to be bitten when the distasteful creature was in plain sight.

Now, what did Itou want? He was no fool and was getting craftier by the day. He also knew my distaste of him had been growing bolder with each of the passing weeks since our trip to Edo. It didn't take a master scholar to know it would be a bad idea to awaken my spite towards him, especially with all the connections I possessed. He knew it was a good idea to keep his distance from me if he did not want an unsightly death, but yet here he was, a guest in mine and Souji's bedroom. He wanted something and whatever it was, it was apparently something worth the risk of accosting the pregnant wife of a man, one that hated him and would waste no time cutting him down, alone in said man's own bedroom.

"My, my, Shizuka-san. Please, no need to look so weary of me." Itou-san said as the corners of his lips curled up slightly to complete that smug, confident expression that seemed to have made a permanent home on his face lately. "I know we haven't gotten along well in the past year—"

"You mean in sixteen months and twelve days, but who's counting?" I interrupted with a caustic stab when I failed to bite my tongue back. "Please, do continue on with what you were saying."

"So I see." Itou said as all pleasantry slipped from his face as he brought his folded hands to his mouth with the crease of his brow. "We both know each other well enough to skip all of these pointless manners. You want to know what I want."

"Yes, but I must know why first. Why seek me out here, in mine and my husband's bedroom when I'm alone? You know I don't like you and you know I won't stop my husband from gutting you if he discovers you here. What is so important that you would pull such a risky move?" I questioned him as I put down the rope so I could gently lay my hand over my growing belly in a protective manner. "A man so clever that he could put a fox to shame wouldn't normally pull such a risky move like this unless he has something greater to gain. What are you after?"

"It is quite flattering that an intelligent woman like yourself would call me 'a man so clever that he could put a fox to shame'." he replied as he placed his folded hands back on his lap as his sharp eye briefly moved to my belly before shooting back up to meet my eyes. "As for your question, as risky as meeting you in your bedroom alone without your husband's knowledge is risky, I know I won't get caught by him. He's out on patrol right now. As for you, my dear, even if you do tell him, he won't be able to do anything unless he catches me in the act and if he does then..." Itou said as he stuck up two fingers and quickly brought them across his neck to signify death.

"Then out with it." I answered as I met his sharp gaze with my own, equally as sharp, gaze. If he planned on intimidating me, then it wouldn't work. I had bigger fears and demons to worry about.

"Let me ask you a question first." Itou started off as his sly smile grew in size, making me want to do nothing more than punch it off. "What do you think of the Shogunate? You are a logical person despite being a woman and do not follow blindly like a lamb."

I was silent for the first several seconds, which felt like hours, as I scrutinized him. He wanted my opinion. He pulled such a risky move to get my opinion? What was he planning to do with my opinion?

"The Shogunate will crush the radicals and regain their control." I finally answered indignantly with a lie. I didn't believe the Shogunate would ever regain the power and control it once had, but I didn't want to give him the answer he was looking for. However, all Itou did was chuckle in amusement at my act of defiance.

"Okita-san's a lucky man to have such a loyal wife, but loyal wives are common enough." Itou mused without breaking eye contact before whispering loudly, "It's the loyal wife with equal parts intellect that is the true prize."

Itou slowly got to his feet to begin leisurely strolling through the bedroom, pausing his gait as he walked past my desk. He backpedaled and looked down at the open book of notes sitting on the desk before he meandered to the nearby bookshelf and pulled a single volume of my medical notes out to brazenly flip through them without permission.

"Let's not lie, shall we?" Itou said before he slapped the book shut with one hand and turned to face me. "A woman as intelligent as yourself cannot possibly believe that. You've seen the signs and know the signs of a failing government. The bakufu will be overturned and it would be in our best interest not to be on the wrong side."

"'Our' interest?" I scoffed as I got to my feet. "Since was there an 'our'?"

"Let me ask you another question." Itou said as he stepped up to me with the closed book in his hand. "You are loyal to your family, but what kind of loyalty do you have for them? Do you go along with all their decisions and support them even though it will lead to their deaths when the bakufu falls, or is your kind of loyalty the type where you'll do anything and everything to keep them alive?"

As I opened my mouth to retort, Itou cut me off with a tsk as he wiggled a finger at me like he was scolding a young child.

"Before you answer, think of your son and your unborn child. Wouldn't you do anything to keep them alive?"

"What do you want?" I spat at him as I simmered down a bit to listen. What DID he want?

"I want you to join me when I leave the Shinsengumi and to convince as many people to join me before I leave." Itou finally answered as he ran a single finger under my chin, sending waves of discomfort down my spine. "We both know the bakufu will eventually fall, it is only a matter of when. If you don't want your family to follow the bakufu on its way down then you will do the smart thing and convince them to join me. You can keep them safe and on the right side that way."

"And what do you mean by my 'family'?" I demanded as I pulled my face away from his finger and bore my teeth at him. If he touched my face with that finger of his again, I would not hesitate to bite it off. "A smart man like you would surely know that my husband and child are not the only people that fall under the category 'family'."

"Of course, my dear." Itou said patronizingly as he took a step back to smile smugly at me. "Shieikan members, am I correct?"

"Even if I EVEN considered to join you when you leave the Shinsengumi, there is no way you could 'save' everyone in my 'family', not when Otou-san is the Commander. Hijikata-san and Sannan-san would also rather die than serve you." I snarled back in a harsh whisper. "Everyone would all rather die fighting than join you. And do not take me for a fool. You don't intend to save anyone, you just intend to take those who would be useful to you. I can protect them myself."

"Everyone, huh? I see. So this is your answer?" Itou asked without a hint of disappointment as his sly grin refused to leave his face. "Perhaps your answer will change with time when the danger becomes more apparent."

With that, Itou turned, his haori swishing at his sudden movement as he moved to exit the room with great poise.

"Why did you come to me?" I suddenly asked him, causing him to stop on the threshold of the door. I could not help my curiosity. I was just a woman, a woman with little value considering the country and era. "I am just a woman from a household of low status. Why ask me to join you instead of other men who will be of more use."

"Because I can't deny that your mind combined with your medical skills are a valuable asset." he answered without turning back to face me. "Besides, the Higanbana is always an irreplaceable asset."

Ice suddenly flowed through my veins as I froze in place. Itou turned to wink slyly at me with a certain smug quality I was certain that did not exist until he was born. How did he know what I was? This secret was even more difficult to uncover than the Water of Life crap.

"Yes, I know your secret and there are others, powerful men, who do now too. Tell me, will you be able to protect your family or will they have to protect you when those powerful men decide they want possession of the flower? Maybe they'll die defending you. Perhaps, to protect them is to desert them." And with that last word, Itou left the room and vanished down the hallway.

Once I was sure that Itou was no longer in the vicinity, I lost my composure and sunk back down into my original seat with slumped shoulders. Itou was right. If he knew what I was and other powerful men knew what I was, then I had a giant red target painted on my back. I already knew that the oni were after me and they could come and take me if they were serious. Souji and the others were strong, but they were only human and could easily be crushed if the oni decided they were done playing. If the oni AND other men were coming, could the Shinsengumi hold them off? How many people would die if those people decided to come after me all at once? While I didn't even want to entertain the thought of leaving with Itou, if I did decide to leave the Shinsengumi with him then it would be his men dying to protect me and not Souji and the others.

I gripped the rope I had been working on earlier. I had intended to finish weaving the rope today, but now it seemed like a trivial task compared with what I had to worry about. I weaved a few more inches before I set down the rope for again. I was done for the day. After what Itou had said, I felt paralyzed with dread.

"SHIZUKA!" Hijikata-san roared from a distance, interrupting my thoughts as I was putting down the rope for the day followed by the loud footfalls of him stomping to the room.

As soon as the rope touched the tatami mats, Hijikata-san appeared at my door while looking quite harried. His normally pristine hair was sticking up at odd angles like hay from an old haystack. His hakama was covered in ink spots, which I must say looked strangely like tiny handprints, much like the ink handprint on the left side of his cheek. As soon as Hijikata-san spotted me he lifted Ryota up in front of me by the scruff of Ryota's kimono.

Ryota giggled as he dangled from Hijikata-san's grasp as he was hoisted up by the scruff of his kimono. My son was covered in spots of ink himself. He giggled happily when he saw me seated on the floor and clapped, causing the ink covering his hands to fly off in droplets. Some of the ink droplets hit the floor and the other flew back and hit Hijikata-san in the face, causing Hijikata-san to scowl once more before glaring at me in tired irritation.

"I said I would watch him for you IF he behaved himself." Hijikata-san growled as he wiped the ink droplets that hit his face off with his free hand. "You told me he would behave."

"Oh, sorry…" I mumbled in apologies as I averted my gaze back to the empty spot on the bookshelf that once shelved the journal of notes that Itou walked off with. I really didn't feel like I had the energy to deal with this after Itou's visit.

Hijikata-san seemed to detect that my drab mood had nothing to do with the hormones from my pregnancy as he narrowed his eyes at me. He lowered Ryota to the ground before his eyes trailed to the empty spot on the bookshelf then back at me. However, Hijikata-san was pulled out of his thoughts as he jumped at the sudden movement of Ryota wiping his face and hands on his hakama to get rid of the ink, causing him to growl as he glared at Ryota.

All Ryota seemed to do was shrug off Hijikata-san's glare of distaste by meeting Hijikata-san's glare with a look of innocence before fleeing to hide behind me with a small chirp of, "Okaa-san!"

"Oh, Ryota. You were supposed to behave for Hijikata-oji-san. You promised me." I gently scolded Ryota as I brought him out from behind me to sit him on my shrinking lap, ignoring the ink that transferred from his clothing onto mine.

"Okaa-san, I promise." Ryota seemed to announce proudly before finishing his statement with, "Tou-san, I no promise."

Figures… I wanted to slam my head against a table when I heard that. Hijikata-san, who had no restraint in doing so, slapped his own forehead with the palm of his hand before planting his butt on the floor in front of me with an annoyed huff.

"So, what happened?" Hijikata-san asked me as he snatched a nearby, clean towel from a laundry pile I had yet to fold to rid himself of the extra ink that was painted all over him. "What has you so upset?"

"What makes you think I'm upset about something?" I questioned Hijikata-san as soon as I smoothed over my features. I wanted to tell him about what Itou had just proposed to me, but what if I really needed to take up Itou's offer to leave with him to keep everyone safe? Perhaps it would be best not to say anything for now. "Maybe I'm just being hormonal."

"And I think you're lying to me." Hijikata-san fired back bluntly. He dropped the towel he was using off to the side before he grabbed another clean towel from the laundry pile so he could begin cleaning off the ink splatter all over Ryota. "You don't act like this when you're hormonal and you definitely don't use the word 'hormonal' when you are hormonal. I'll ask again. What happened?"

As Hijikata-san spoke, he stared me right in the eyes, making me want to drop his burning gaze. If I continued to stare right back into his eyes then I would crumble and eventually tell him the truth, but if I averted my gaze from his stare, then he would know I was lying for sure. There was no winning, but I tried anyways.

"I don't know what you mean." I replied, making the mistake of turning my eyes to stare at the empty spot on my bookshelf once more.

"Who came by and took a volume of medical notes and why won't you tell me? You were threatened, weren't you?" Hijikata-san asked, his question sounding more like a statement. "It was Itou-san, only he would have the balls to do that…" he then mumbled to himself. "Tell me what he said."

"No." I replied with a sigh as I placed my chin lightly on top of Ryota's head to get comfort in my defeat. "I'm not telling you anything and I don't want you to do anything. I'll deal with this myself."

"Shizu—"

"I said no! And I don't want you to tell Souji either!" I blurted out while slamming a hand on the floor, startling Ryota enough to jump in my lap from the unexpected force I used. "If you tell Souji anything, he'll go kill Itou and the Shinsengumi can't deal with this right now. There's already currently enough discontent in the Shinsengumi ranks and if the unhappy men hear that one of the most trusted captains killed another executive then we can very well lose half our men or more. Furthermore, even captains aren't exempt from the Code of Conduct you wrote. Souji would have to commit seppuku if he killed Itou."

Hijikata-san sighed bitterly before he dropped the towel he was using to clean Ryota on the floor so he could ball his hands into fists. He grit his teeth and seemed to glare at nothing in particular. Then Hijikata-san seemed to sag in defeat as his eyes drifted upwards to mine in a silent apology as if he was saying, "Sorry for allowing Itou into the Shinsengumi."

"I'm sure you still have plenty of things to take care of." I finally said in a quiet whisper after what seemed like an hour of silence as I refused his silent apology. "I can take care of Ryota from here. Thank you for watching him earlier. I'll wash and clean up everything he spilled ink all over."

"Idiot." Hijikata-san said with a sad looking smile as he stood up. "You're pregnant. You should be resting. I'll clean everything else up myself."

"I'm pregnant, not handicapped." I couldn't help but snort back a bit rudely as Hijikata-san was leaving, drawing a true smile from him before he chuckled to himself.

"Well, let's get you properly cleaned up now." I said down to Ryota now that we were alone. Well, mostly alone if I included the unborn baby, which by now had captured his attention.

Ryota, who was sitting on my lap earlier, was now on his feet next to me and curiously poking my growing belly. He was probably wondering why his seat on my lap had been shrinking for the past several weeks. I did tell him he was going to be an older brother and that his younger sibling was growing inside of me, but it seems he couldn't quite figure out how that was possible. There was no way he would understand right now even if I carefully explained everything to him. He was still too young. But he did believe the little story his father told him. According to the story Souji told him, Ryota thought babies grew from a field of daikon radishes.

"Ryota, can you wait here for Okaa-san? Okaa-san needs to go draw a bucket of water and heat it so you can have a small bath."

Ryota shook his head and quickly grabbed onto my side to prevent me from getting up and smiled brightly at me when his actions rewarded him with a frown.

"No, no, no." Ryota said as his tiny ponytail swung back and forth as he shook his head.

"Ryota." I said his name in an attempt to intimidate him into letting go, but he still refused.

"It's fine. I got it." a voice spoke up, causing Ryota to let go of me without hesitation to run and attach himself to the legs of the owner of the voice.

It was Souji, still clad in his uniform from patrol. In his right hand was a bucket of warm water and under his left arm was a large, wooden tub. How did he know what I needed to get in order to wash Ryota off when he wasn't here? As if he were responding to my thoughts, Souji sent me a comforting smile with a small shrug.

"You're back already?" I asked. I thought he was going to be out a bit longer. "And how did you know what I needed?"

Instead of answering me back immediately, he ushered Ryota back into the room and placed the water and the tub next to me before going to close the bedroom door for some privacy. As he was taking a seat next to me after closing the door, I saw his eyes narrow almost venomously at the empty spot on the bookshelf as he bit back what looked to be a snarl.

"Yeah, something came up." Souji finally answered me amicably as he poured the warm water into the large wooden tub. "Chizuru-chan met a friend of hers, Sen-chan or something, and we discovered that there are a group of suspicious men hiding out in Shimabara. Apparently they've been discussing plans to attack us." Souji then paused to watch me undress Ryota before he stood back up. "Hey, do you mind giving Ryota a bath by yourself? I need to go speak to Hijikata-san and Kondou-san on what we plan to do."

Before I could answer, Souji left the room. He left without answering my second question.

* * *

"So how are we going to get in? Anybody have any ideas?" Hijikata-san asked everyone, plus the inspectors, gathered later that night to discuss what Souji had discovered with Chizuru-chan.

"Me! I have the perfect idea!" Shinpachi-san suddenly declare with a broad grin of confidence. With everyone's attention on him, he began explaining while gesturing wildly in the air. "Why don't I go in and make the geisha fall in love with me so they tell me all the secrets they have heard while servicing those ronin. Women will do anything for the man they love."

At what Shinpachi-san said, everyone looked like they swallowed something sour. Even Ryota, who didn't quite understand what was going on and was about to fall asleep, gave Shinpachi-san the look that called Shinpachi-san stupid. Hijikata-san, on the other hand, looked like he had swallowed ten times the amount of what everyone else did. He let out a disgruntled sounding sigh as he tilted his head back to stare at the roof.

"Why did I even think you had anything important to add to this discussion?" Hijikata-san mumbled to himself as Sano-san cuffed Shinpachi-san on the back of his head for the sheer stupidity of that suggestion.

"You idiot." Sano-san said in annoyance as he pulled his eyebrows tightly together. "If that were the case then you would be drowning in women. Geisha are known to keep secrets close to their chest. There's no way they would tell us anything. It would be faster to dress someone up as a geisha to hear the information at the source."

"I can do that!" Chizuru-chan suddenly chimed in with the look of determination hardening her normally soft, brown eyes.

Everyone fell silent and stared at Chizuru-chan in surprise. No one was expecting her to speak up.

"B-But…" Otou-san said uncomfortably as he looked back at Chizuru-chan in concern. "I would feel uncomfortable sending an unwed woman into the Sumiya to be surrounded by those men."

That made sense. Unmarried women that did not work in the red-light district tended to have a certain innocence about them. They didn't always seem to know what they should do if they were cornered by a man with less than pure intentions.

"I would understand if it was Shizu-chan since she does know what to do, but Shizu-chan is pregnant right now." Otou-san continued. "Shimabara in general is no place for a pregnant woman."

"I'm against it." Hijikata-san said after Otou-san spoke. "If something happens and we're not around to deal with it then what will she do?"

"I agree!" Heisuke agreed completely with Hijikata-san loudly before scooting protectively closer to her.

"Hijikata-kun, perhaps you have another idea?" Sannan-san then asked with his glasses glinting in the candlelight.

"We could send a scout." Hijikata-san suggested as he turned to Sannan-san. "There are other ways around it."

"If we were not short on time, we could do that. But this is an emergency" Sannan-san spoke reasonably, defeating Hijikata-san's argument effortlessly. "I believe sending Yukimura-kun as a spy would be the best method.

Everyone fell silent. Most of the guys were still unconvinced as they scratched their heads and stared at the floor.

"Chizuru-chan did say she would do it." Souji broke the silence to throw in his own opinion. "I mean, if it's just pouring saké and listening to what those ronin are saying then even she could do it. Right, Shizuka?"

"Right." I agreed as I flashed Chizuru an encouraging smile. "It'll be simple."

"Yes." Chizuru-chan said brightly, happy that Souji and I were supporting her.

Seeing Chizuru-chan beam like the sun, Sano-san and Shinpachi-san both lightened up and smiled.

"Well, if she doesn't make a serious mistake, I don't think she'll get busted." Sano-san said with a small nod before referring to back in October when Chizuru-chan last dressed up. "Chizuru looked just like a real geisha back then."

"True!" Shinpachi-san agreed wholeheartedly with a wide grin. "It'd be my pleasure to meet Shimabara's most beautiful woman again."

Chizuru-chan flushed a cherry red color at Shinpachi-san before stuttering, "T-That's a little…" before she drifted off in embarrassment.

Saito-san, who was silent the whole time, finally spoke up to contribute to the now growing plan. "Vice Commander, please allow Yamazaki and me to infiltrate Sumiya as Yukimura's escort."

"Please leave it to us." Yamazaki-san added with a polite bow.

"And if you're still worried I can go grab Kyoko-chan tomorrow to help with the infiltration. She loves this kind of stuff." Souji added. "Kyoko-chan can handle herself as long as there are no fights breaking out and I can follow Kyoko-chan around Sumiya to keep her safe just in case."

Hijikata-san seemed to think about what had been proposed before declaring, "That will be fine."

"Yes." Yamazaki-san and Saito-san said to affirm Hijikata-san's decision while Souji just merely nodded.

"Alright, if anything happens, notify me immediately." Hijikata-san said as he crossed his arms. "I'll deal with it right away."

"Yukimura-kun, this may trouble you," Otou-san said before bowing in thanks politely to Chizuru, "but I'm counting on you."

"Alright!" Chizuru-chan cheered happily with her new found role.

I was happy for her for finding something she could do for the people that she cared about, but I was also left feeling a bit salty because I had to stay at home due to my pregnancy. I yawned once more before gently running my fingers through Ryota's hair.

Sano-san and Shinpachi-san stood up and came to kneel at Chizuru-chan's side after her little cheer to reassure her that she was going to be fine and there was nothing to worry about.

"Don't worry." Sano-san said as he kneeled down next to her first and put his hand on her shoulder. "As soon as we finish our patrol, we'll head to Shimabara."

"I'll leave this to you." Shinpachi-san cheered as he squatted down on her other side to place his hand on her other shoulder. "Yeah! We'll have a drink!"

However, despite the seemingly laid back behavior from Sano-san and Shinpachi-san, Heisuke still seemed unsure about the whole ordeal. He glanced at me for some support, but I shook my head and mouthed to him that Chizuru-chan would be alright. He was still unconvinced.

"Will this really be alright?" he finally voiced out loud. "Those people are vile-natured drunkards in Shimabara. Yet she has to pour them saké, flatter them, and get touched by them…"

Then Heisuke seemed to have enough of what he was imagining in his mind and jumped to his feet in a panic as he pulled on his hair and let out a frustrated yell of disbelief.

Hijikata-san sighed at Heisuke's distress and quickly motioned to Otou-san to end the meeting before Heisuke's imagination got the better of him. Otou-san seemed to stutter for a few seconds before clearing his throat.

"Alright!" Otou-san said happily with a nod once he got his voice back, catching everyone's attention, except for Ryota, who dozed off a few seconds earlier. "I'm counting on you guys."

"Yes." everyone said in affirmation before they stood up and began filing towards the door.

Sano-san was the first person to reach the door and as he opened the door he offered Chizuru-chan a wish of good luck.

"Chizuru, good luck. If something happens, I'll jump in immediately."

"Me too." Shinpachi-san confirmed.

"Okay." she said as she nodded slightly with a warm smile, happy that she could help the Shinsengumi out in this endeavor.

However, Heisuke still wasn't too happy with the arrangements and marched up to Sano-san to grab the arm that opened the door.

"Hold on!" Heisuke said with a frown. "What do you mean by something happening? Sano-san! Shinpat-san!"

I could already tell that Heisuke's imagination was already starting to run away with his mind again and Sano-san could probably too.

Sano-san tsked before saying, "Heisuke, you're annoying. If you worry too much, Chizuru will feel uneasy.

"But…"

"Don't worry." Sano-san said, cutting Heisuke off, "Saito and Yamazaki will be following her, and even Souji will be in Shimabara with Kyoko to provide backup. Right, Saito?"

"Yes." Saito answered bluntly.

"I know, but…" Heisuke said, still feeling uneasy before he turned to Chizuru-chan. "Chizuru, you don't have to force yourself, okay?"

"Isn't that fine?" Souji said as he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. "Now that everything's solved. I have something to take care of." He then pushed himself off the wall and headed towards the door. "Kondou-san, can you escort Shizuka and Ryota to bed for me? I discovered a pest running around earlier and I need to go take care of it."

Pest? Did the rats we chased out of headquarters return?

"Hmm? What type of pest is it? Are the rats back in the kitchens?" Otou-san asked innocently enough before mumbling to himself, "We should get a cat as a mouser…"

"Not quite." Souji answered. "I'll see you in a bit." he then said to me before exiting the room.

* * *

"Chizuru, be careful!" Heisuke called out to Chizuru-chan while waving the next morning at the front gates of headquarters as she was leaving to prepare for the mission with Yamazaki-san and Saito-san.

Chizuru-chan bowed back towards us in a polite response before stepping out the gate with her guards.

"Somehow, I feel like my daughter is getting married." Shinpachi-san said as he watched her leave with a forlorn, yet nostalgic look on his face.

Sano-san grinned at Shinpachi-san and stuck his finger out in Shinpachi-san's face, like he was going to list out the reasons that Shinpachi-san sounded old before he said, "Rather than a daughter, she's more like a little sister."

"To me, this is more like seeing a warrior off to the battlefield." Souji added as a morbid joke while putting his hand to the bottom of his chin to make it seem like he was thinking hard. "Oh, Chizuru-chan. Maybe we'll never see each other again."

Heisuke didn't think that was funny at all and whirled around at Souji's joke to point accusingly at him. "Hey! Stop that, Souji! It'll bring bad luck! Shizuka, you should really do something about Souji's habit of making morbid jokes! They're not funny!"

"Really?" I said as I pat Ryota on his head as he tugged at the bottom of my kimono with one hand and used his other hand to tap the floor with his wooden sword impatiently. "I always did like his morbid jokes. I thought they're great, though a bit inappropriate at some times." I continued before yawning briefly.

"Shizuka!" Heisuke cried, looking scandalized.

"Well then, I guess I should be off to go fetch Kyoko-chan for tonight." Souji said, though he didn't make any movement to leave quite yet. Shinpachi-san took this que to go get ready for the night.

"Let's start making preparations too." Shinpachi-san said as he jogged off towards the other side of headquarters.

"Yeah." Sano-san agreed as he quickly moved to follow Shinpachi-san. "Heisuke, hurry up."

"Ah, wait a moment!" Heisuke called to them as he scrambled to quickly follow his two older friends.

"I'll leave you behind."

"Hey, Sano-san! Wait up!"

Souji smiled as he watched those three men disappear around the corner, like he was remembering something nostalgic before he turned around to place his hand on my cheek. He stroked my cheek softly with his thumb before he pecked my forehead.

"I'll take Ryota to Gen-san to be watched for the day. You need to go get some more sleep. You've been extremely tired recently."

"I'm fine!" I huffed at Souji before pouting. "Just because—"

"You can't stop yawning recently." Souji said to cut me off as he bent to down to pick Ryota up. "Go take a nap. I'll tell you everything when I get back."

Souji gave me a small shove on the back towards our bed room and raised his eyebrow at me to tell me to start heading back to our room. Not willing to let Souji have the last word, I childishly stuck out my tongue at him only to have it get caught between two of Souji's fingers. He grinned at me impishly and bent down so he could take my tongue into his mouth to nip it lightly.

"Let's not have any of that, shall we?" Souji said playfully when he released my tongue, enjoying the small blush he saw forming on my cheeks. "Now be a good girl and go get some sleep. You need it."

"Night, night!" Ryota called after me sweetly as I pouted once more at Souji and turned to leave.

On my way back to my room, I came across Itou, who looked surprisingly different now that his long hair had been cut short? Wait, what?

What happened? Itou's hair was still long when he accosted me yesterday…

Feeling my curious stare, Itou paused and turned towards me. However, when he realized that I was the one staring at him, he sneered at me before he continued on his way. I was confused at his reaction since he was trying to convince me to leave the Shinsengumi with him only yesterday, but I wasn't going to chase him down to ask why he was acting this way. While it may be true that I might need his offer in case things got too dangerous for the others for me to stay with the Shinsengumi, I still hated him enough not to inquire of his behavior.

When I returned back to the bedroom I noticed something different. That empty slot where my one of my notebooks once sat was no longer empty anymore. That one volume of medical notes that Itou took yesterday had been returned, but it wasn't returned by Itou. I knew for a fact that Itou had gone nowhere near my bedroom since he approached me last. So how did that volume of medical notes return back to its original location?

* * *

"Souji, tell me what happened!" I complained childishly as Souji, Otou-san, and Kyoko-chan accompanied me with Ryota to the market the day after Chizuru-chan's little mission in Shimabara. The troublemaking ronin had been arrested, but I had heard from rumors that it was quite an entertaining ordeal.

"It's not that I won't tell you. It's just a bit hard to describe." Souji replied as he barely bit back his laughter as he thought back to that night. "You kind of had to be there to appreciate it more. Right, Kyoko-chan?"

"Pfft." Kyoko-chan said as she grin back at Souji with a knowing smile. "The ninja who protects the cute princess from the shadows on windy and rainy days? Absolutely golden."

Wait, what?

"I know, right?" Souji agreed with a grin before he chuckled. "Then there was the 'Yamazaki Style Ninpou, Tatami Flip'."

"I also heard that even Saito-kun was frozen from Yukimura-kun's beauty." Otou-san added in with a chuckle, causing Ryota, who was sitting on his shoulders, to giggle happily too.

"Otou-san! How do you know what happened? You weren't there too!" I complained with puffed up cheeks. But Otou-san just laughed before grabbing Souji with Ryota to observe a katana blade on display at a nearby shop.

"I'll tell you everything later." Kyoko-chan said with mirth in her voice as we continued walking towards the stall selling some spices near the corner of an alleyway. "Though my description of it might not do it justice."

"It's fine, I just want to know what happened that—"I managed to say before a sack was suddenly thrown over my head from the alleyway that was behind me.

The last thing I saw before the sack was fully over my head was a dagger sinking up to its hilt into Kyoko-chan's shoulder as she tried to reach for me, then the black of nothingness.

* * *

[1] A kadomatsu (門松, literally "gate pine") is a traditional Japanese decoration of the New Year placed in pairs in front of homes to welcome ancestral spirits or kami of the harvest. They are placed after Christmas until January 7 (or January 15 during the Edo period) and are considered temporary housing (shintai) for kami. Designs for kadomatsu vary depending on region but are typically made of pine, bamboo, and sometimes ume tree sprigs which represent longevity, prosperity and steadfastness, respectively. "The fundamental function of the New Year ceremonies is to honor and receive the toshigami (deity), who will then bring a bountiful harvest for farmers and bestow the ancestors' blessing on everyone." After January 15 (or in many instances the 19th) the kadomatsu is burned to appease the kami or toshigami and release them.


	92. Chapter 89

I apologize for the super late update, but it's kind of hard to update without Internet. I recent just got Internet back after two weeks. Apparently the Internet company I was using went bankrupt. I did have Internet access at school, but all that time went into trying to complete all my assignments so I wouldn't have to worry about it at home when I had no Internet.

* * *

**Chapter 89**

"Believe me, it would be better if we didn't meet again. Go back to school. Go back to your life. And next time they ask you, say no. Killing is for grown-ups and you're still a child." ― Anthony Horowitz, _Stormbreaker_

The dark world swirled, first a diminutive spin to the left, then one-eighty to the right. There were strange muffled voices coming from somewhere a few feet away. Maybe to the front, or was it slightly to the side? It was impossible to tell. But from what I could feel, I will swear that there was an equivalent of fifty miniature woodpeckers pounding and drilling away at my skull.

"—hit—hard—not waking—pregnant women—fragile…" came a man's hoarse and fragmented voice through the static filter of my groggy mind.

I opened my eyes in a slow careful swoop to seek the owner of that fragmented voice only to snap them shut again in less than a millisecond. The gentle candlelight from nearby lanterns burned far too brightly as my eyes failed to adjust from the soft darkness from before.

"Women in general are more fragile—pregnant—even more so…" another man's voice filtered in, though less fragmented than before as my wits began recuperating in a sluggish manner.

As the pounding headache gradually subsided, I turned my focus to my hands and feet. They had been bound, and I had been placed on my side on something soft. The material wrapped around my hands were silky, yet strong and rigid. My hands had not been bound by the course rope that was normally used in this type of situation, but with some sort of cloth. My feet were also tied with the same material. I was also surround by something very cushiony and familiar. It was a futon, and I even had a warm blanket laid over my body. Whomever the people who took me were, they either wanted me unharmed or they had received orders to deliver me unharmed. The only part of my body that possess any kind of welts was the back of my head, where they had bludgeoned me as they threw a burlap sack over me.

"I know you're awake." a third voice asserted, addressing me rather than the other two who were speaking in the room. "Go ahead and open your eyes. We won't hurt you or your baby."

"Says the men that stabbed one of my closest friends before they threw a sack over me while bludgeoning me on the back of my head." I snapped in an abrasive huff before I opened one eye in a torpor manner to get a glimpse of the men while attempting to avoid the sting of the bright light. "Who are you and what do you want?"

At my crass tone of disrespect, one of the men looked scorned enough to want to slap me. There were times I forgot how lucky I truly was. There were no laws saying that a man could not beat a woman, unless the law was on a lower social class man harming someone in a higher social class. I needed to start watching my words and tone around these men, or at least that one man. It was said that smart women and disobedient women were troublesome, and I fell under both categories.

"If I didn't have any orders not to harm you then I would have beaten you for your tone." one of the men snapped at me through gnashed teeth as he roughly grabbed me by the front of my kimono before almost tossing me back down. I have no doubt he would have used more force if I was not visibly pregnant.

As if that action had an effect on my vision, the fogginess that clouded my eyesight cleared away to allow me to get a better look at my surroundings. There were a total of three men in the room with me. The man who had snatched me up by my collar in the crude manner earlier was a rather large man. I could see he had bulging muscles under his loose clothing. He stood so tall he could have easily dwarfed Sano-san, who I thought was already insanely tall. Unlike the two other men in this room, he did not have the long hair of a samurai but a short hairstyle with a hairy beard. Furthermore, he was tanned like he was someone who normally worked the farm fields. If it weren't for some certain features on his face then I could have sworn that he looked European. This man was not only colossal in size, but he was armed with a large weapon to fit his stature. Next to where he stood leaned an omi yari[1] against the white wall. Despite how large a typical omi yari was, a normal-sized version of this spear wouldn't be long enough for this man to comfortably wield it. This man's omi yari wasn't the normal version, it had been adjusted to fit his size.

The two other men in the room were much more typical looking of Japanese men and each possessed a katana and kodachi strapped to their left sides. The man that had spoken to me earlier did not quite look as old as the brute or as young as the other man, but he was still fairly young. He seemed to have a disinterest towards me as he barely even glanced in my direction, but it could be because he was constantly looking out the window. I didn't quite know how to describe this man. He was rather attractive and had the perceptive eyes of a hawk, but he reminded me of a Pitbull I had the experience of meeting in my childhood in my past life.

When I was barely eight years old in my past life, there was an old man that lived across the street from me with a pet Pitbull. Naturally, I was afraid of the dog because of his loud bark and how he would fiercely chase me whenever he was near me. However, one day I was invited to the old man's house and because I didn't want to be rude, I went despite being afraid of the dog. I never knew a dog that seemed so terrifying to strangers but so loving to the people it was familiar with other than that dog. The Pitbull was loving towards the old man, loyal, and gentle. That day changed the way I forever viewed that dog. That dog also happened to meet its bitter end due to its loyalty to its owner. It was years after this experience that an armed robber broke into the old man's house. The dog had been shot and killed because he was protecting his owner, but the robber never got to lay a hand on the old man or his belongings.

This man reminded me of that dog.

The last man was a rather young man, probably a little younger than Heisuke's age. He had bright eyes that possessed a certain boyish charm to them. His long brown hair was bundled into a single choppy ponytail. Despite the seriousness of this whole situation, he seemed to smile endlessly at me with the same type of joy Ryota would look at me with after seeing me for the first time after spending the day with someone else. He was smaller in stature than the other two men, but undoubtedly just as strong.

"Sakai-san!" the young boyish man, no, boy complained in a scolding tone at the large brute before he shot me a friendly smile and pulled the futon covers back up over my shoulders with an affable touch. "Don't be so rough on her! Anyone would be disoriented after what just happened."

"Ha! Arai, you naïve brat!" the brute, whose surname was apparently Sakai, laughed at the young man with a scratchy voice. "If you're desperate for a pretty face then you should have taken that other woman instead of stabbing her. That one was real pretty. If I wanted a woman then I wouldn't have taken this USED one, especially since she has the Shinsengumi's First Division's captain's spawn growing inside of her."

Wait, that guy Arai was the one that stabbed Kyoko-chan and not the Sakai guy? It was this young boy who was being extremely kind towards me? In an instant, all the hate I could muster up within me bubbled up into my chest. I no longer cared if this guy was being nice to me and I didn't care that he was young and unworldly. He stabbed Kyoko-chan and I hated him for it. I wanted to eviscerate him for it. Because of him, I didn't even know if Kyoko-chan was alive anymore.

"Shut up, Sakai-san! You're just a bitter old man!" Arai exclaimed with a childlike innocence before he gently put a hand on my back and asked, "Are you alright?"

I quickly jerked away from his touch like it was poison and snarled at him like a cornered feral animal. He quickly pulled his hand away and just as his hands flew back and near my mouth, I snapped my teeth at his nearby fingers. He seemed to not understand my reaction to him as he stared at me with a morose and pained look on his face, just like a little boy that didn't understand why a dog was biting him for pulling on its tail.

"You shouldn't be so surprised that she reacted to you like that Arai-kun." the last man, who just shut the window, suddenly said, surprising me when he spoke. I didn't think he would speak at all. "You and Sakai-san basically just confirmed for her that it was you who stabbed her friend."

"B-But I had to… Noguchi-san…" Arai seemed to whimper pathetically as he visibly deflated from guilt. "She would have run off to get help and with Okita and the Commander there… If she had gotten help then we would have failed our jobs and would been punished, and with THAT MAN in charge, he would have most likely killed us."

"That may be true, but instead of stabbing that other woman, we could have waited for a better opportunity to capture the Higanbana." answered the man, whose surname was Noguchi. "Because you stabbed that woman, the Shinsengumi are on high alert and are everywhere on the Kyoto streets right now. We're stuck hiding out in this inn because of that."

I perked up when I heard that last sentence and unfortunately drew also Noguchi's attention to myself as he glanced my way for a few brief seconds.

We were in an inn in Kyoto right now? Which one?

"And we should keep the chatter of important information to a minimum." Noguchi then added as he shifted his eyes back to the other two men in the room. "We were told that she's a smart one. She'll use any information she can get on us against us. Sakai-san, go get her something to eat. We need her in good condition upon delivery if we want to keep our heads."

* * *

"Here, eat." Noguchi said in a short tone as he crouched down in front of me and placed a tray of food in front of me. "As much as I know you want to rebel against your captors, you have to eat. The babies growing in your belly need the food to grow properly and you need to remain healthy or my superiors will have my head. I don't know about you, but I would rather live. My kids still need me. How many weeks are you along anyways?"

I glared at the food bitterly before picking up the spoon with my bound hands to eat a small bite of porridge. It had been a week since I became their prisoner. I hadn't been mistreated, but neither did I want to be here, held against my will and unable to fight back.

"Seventeen weeks." I muttered back to him resentfully between small bites of food. He was a kind but guarded man. I probably would have liked him if we had met in different ways. "What makes you say 'babies' instead of 'baby'?"

"You know, I have a wife about your age." he said, seemingly off topic. "In her first pregnancy we had a set of twins. When a woman is pregnant with twins there is rapid growth in the first few months because there is still space before growth slows down to reserve space. I thought you were the famed physician of the Shinsengumi. You should know this."

"I do." I muttered back before pushing away the bowl of unfinished porridge. The taste was not really agreeing with me right now and the little fluttering kicks I was feeling in my belly told me that the babies agreed with me. "I just don't specialize in reproductive health, and I was a little surprised you knew about that."

I glanced down at my bound hands, then the closed door and windows of the room. Something had been bothering me for a while now.

"Why are you being so kind to me? I know you have the order to bring me in unharmed, but that doesn't mean you have to be kind to me." I asked in a muted tone before looking back up at the man.

Noguchi didn't answer right away. He tilted his head upwards to stare at the roof, as if he were wondering whether or not he should tell me. Then with a sigh, he dropped his head back down so he could look at me.

"I just told you I have a wife about your age, right? You're pretty smart, so think about it. I also have orders to bring you to my superiors. I don't like my orders, but I'll follow them. I have always found it distasteful to mistreat women."

So I see… He has his orders and he follows them, but he decides for himself, based on his own moral, on how to treat me. He really wasn't such a bad guy.

"You should really finish your food." he suddenly interjected, interrupting my thoughts and causing me to scowl at him.

"I'm not up for it. Your face is ruining my appetite." I snorted back childishly, strangely drawing a nostalgic smile to his face as he picked up the bowl.

"You sound just like my wife when she's moody." he commented with a small chuckle of amusement. "She—"

"Noguchi-san!" Arai said as suddenly he slammed the door open. Noguchi grabbed his katana, ready to draw if there was any sign of trouble, but he sighed tiredly and slammed his katana back into its sheath when he caught the wide grin on the boy's face. "It's your turn to be on watch."

"I swear I'll kill you one day if you keep doing that, Arai-kun." Noguchi growled lowly at the perky, boy before leaving the room, calling back once more, "Make sure she eats more."

"Got it!" Arai called back with a salute while sounding like an obedient child who was eager to please before dropping into his seat directly across from me with a friendly smile. He grabbed the bowl of porridge from earlier and placed a spoonful of porridge in front of me, like he was expecting me to allow him to feed me. "Here you go!" he said, all too chipper.

Looking at the type of personality this boy had, it was hard to believe that this boy stabbed Kyoko-chan. His type didn't belong here. He didn't belong in a kidnapping situation as one of the perpetrators. He was a merely just a young boy who was given a task to complete and he was doing his best to fill his role. I suppose this was a constant, grim reminder that while there are many sides forming in Japan right now, there was no 'good guys' and 'bad guys'. There were just merely sides.

"Go on." Arai said cheerfully as he bobbled the spoon of food in front of my face a little bit when I just stared at it, as if he were trying to entice me into eating it, but his face fell instantly when I refused the food by turning my face. He may seem like a perfectly nice young boy, but that did not change the fact that he was the one that stabbed Kyoko-chan. It did not change the fact I hated him for what he did.

"… Do you really hate me for what I did?" Arai asked me as he put down the spoon and bowl while looking like a kicked puppy.

"Do you really have to ask?" I asked him as I shot him a brief glare that was frigid enough to freeze blood.

He then wilted more than what I thought was possible before he mumbled a quiet, "Sorry…" that I didn't care for.

I sighed and turned to stare at the closed windows. During this whole time I was being held captive, the men almost never opened the window. If they did, it was only to crack it open enough to peek outside. This was done to keep prying eyes out, but it was also most likely done to keep me unaware of surroundings and to keep me from attempting to contact the many Shinsengumi patrols swarming the streets. Only if there was some way I could figure out which inn I was being kept at in Kyoto then I could properly orchestrate a way to escape. I also needed to find some way to gather information on my captors so that if I did escape, then I could use that knowledge to avoid a recapture.

But perhaps my situation right now was the best way to get information. I was stuck alone in a room with a young, naïve boy who most likely had little experience dealing with women and also felt incredibly guilty for what he did. Maybe I could use his guilt to manipulate him.

Deciding to go with a quick plan I whipped up in my head, I let my head drop to stare at the tatami mats directly in front of me to make it look like I was feeling guilty for what I said to him before speaking to him in a quiet, lost voice, "… Sorry for snapping at you… I just… I want to go home… I miss my husband. I'm scared." At the end of my sentence I added a few sniffs and a few tears for good measure.

"N-No, it's not your fault!" Arai quickly exclaimed while waving his hands in front of him. "Please don't cry. I—er… A pretty woman should never have to cry!"

"Sorry…" I said again before sniffing a few more times. "I'm just feeling a little lonely too…"

"Ah! But you're not alone! I'm here to keep you company." the kid said as he grabbed a nearby cloth to wipe the tears off my cheeks. This poor kid was just too gullible and fell for my acting way too easily, bringing my hopes up. Maybe this would work!

"But you're a stranger. You don't count." I said while continuing my acting as I pulled my face away from his hands before curling into a ball the best I could with bound hands and feet.

"I—I could tell you a little about myself!" he exclaimed quickly, falling for my deception. Hook, line, and sinker.

"Could you then? So I won't have to feel so alone?" I asked while raising my head in a timid manner so my eyes could meet his.

Arai nodded eagerly as he scooted closer to me and took my hands into his own. He seemed to almost vibrate in his seat from the jubilant joy he had from believing that I was letting him through my walls.

"I am the youngest son of a lower samurai family in the Tosa Domain." he began as he instantly told me the identity of my kidnappers. So, he was with the Tosa Domain, but what did the Tosa Domain want with me? "My family was never really well off so I offered myself up for service to the domain so I could bring prestige to the family, though my chichi-ue thought that I was making a stupid choice. He told me that I should stay at home and support him and my haha-ue and leave family prestige to the firstborn son. I don't get it. What's so bad about me doing it? Despite being the third born son, I have always been the strongest when it came to sword fighting…"

"Um… I don't mean to interrupt, but could you do a favor for me and remove my kanzashi from my hair for me?" I cut into his dialogue when he drifted off and began mumbling about unrelated information that was unneeded. It was time to put phase two of my plan into full action. "My head has been jostled a few too many times and my kanzashi is out of place. It's been poking at the back of my head uncomfortably for a while now."

"Oh! Okay." Arai said as he tilted my head upwards a bit so he could pluck my kanzashi from my hair bun. "Better?"

Perfect. Now all I just needed a few more steps. Before he could put my kanzashi down on a nearby table, I tapped on his shoulders to capture his attention again. I flashed him a shy smile causing him to blush lightly.

"Could you also please open the window for some fresh air? Please?" I asked while giving him a doe-eyed look.

This time Arai hesitated. Though he seemed all too willing to attempt to cheer me up and to make me like him, he wasn't exactly dumb. Open windows meant I could look outside and it also meant prying eyes. With Shinsengumi patrols everywhere in Kyoto right now, there was an excellent chance that our location would be discovered if the windows were open.

"I can't do that." Arai said while looking at me apologetically, although, he also did glance at me with slight suspicion.

"Please?" I pleaded again. "Just for a short minute? I promise I'll remain out of sight and I won't look outside. I just want some fresh air because I'm feeling a little sick. You could even block the view by standing directly in front of the window."

"Promise?" Arai asked me just to get a confirmation after he decided that there wouldn't be too much of a risk. I was tied up and pretty deep inside the room. He wouldn't have to worry about someone discovering me from looking in the window, and if he had me turn around to face the opposite wall then he wouldn't have to worry about me getting a glimpse of outside.

I nodded silently in response. He scrutinized me for a few seconds longer before sheepishly scratching the back of his head.

"Alright." he finally said with a small sigh before he smiled warmly back at me while thinking there was no harm in obliging in my request.

He jumped to his feet and strolled across the room to the windows with a spring in his step. Before cracking a window open even the slightest bit, he turned back around to me and gestured with his free hand, the one that wasn't holding my kanzashi, to turn and face the opposite wall.

Following his signal, I turned around without complaining. With everything going so smoothly, this was where things where just bound not to go according to plan. Just as Arai opened the window, the door slammed open and a voice boomed from the doorway.

"ARAI!" hollered the third man within the party of kidnappers. "Just what the hell are you doing?! Close that damn window before someone sees her!"

"Sakai-san!" Arai exclaimed. I could hear him jumping in fright behind me before slamming the window shut. "Don't scare me like that!"

"Scare you like that?! I'll do more than just scare you if I catch you doing something like this again! Why the hell are you opening that window when we all agreed that it's safer not to?"

"She was feeling a little sick and I thought some fresh air would help…"

"Look, I know you like making people happy, but she's our prisoner and it will cost us our heads if we lose her. So don't do anything stupid like this again!" Sakai hollered one last time before he turned and slammed the door shut behind him.

After the big brute left, an empty and uncomfortable silence filled the room. Arai was upset at being scolded and probably disappointed that he couldn't "help" me feel less "sick". I, on the other hand, was just frustrated and annoyed that my plan died right there.

"… I can't open the window for you…" Arai finally said after a long silence before he came to sit next to me. "But I can tell you some stories to keep your mind off of things."

"Thank you for trying anyways…" I mumbled with a shallow nod before my eyes went wide when I saw his empty hand. Did he put down my kanzashi?

Flickering my eyes over to where he could have possibly deposited the hairpin, I saw nothing. It wasn't on the floor, on any of the tables, or even on the windowsill. It was then realization hit me. When Sakai charged into this room and frightened Arai with his bellowing, Arai had been frightened enough to drop my kanzashi out the window without realizing it.

That had not been my original plan, but I believe it actually turned out better this way. That kanzashi was the one that Souji had bought for me before we got married, the one I wore every day if I could help it. Everyone knew that hairpin was mine and it was one-of-a-kind. With the Shinsengumi patrols swarming the streets right now, someone in the Shinsengumi would be bound to pick it up and figure out where I was being kept based on where the hairpin fell. This was better than my plan on having the boy wave my kanzashi around at the open window to hopefully catch a patrol's attention.

"But I would appreciate some stories." I quickly chirped cheerfully, making Arai smile as he mistakenly thought that his offer to tell me stories was what cheered me up. Now all I had to do was wait and pray that whoever picked up my kanzashi would be able to figure out my clue.

* * *

It was in the dead of night when I was jostled awake by large hands. My eyes instantly shot open to see Sakai as he picked me up carefully. Well, as carefully one would pick up a sack of rice. All their belonging that once littered the inn room floor had been packed away and the men were now dress in travel gear. We were moving?

My heart dropped to the soles of my feet as my stomach clenched up. Had my clue not been picked up? Did I act too late? If my three kidnappers manage to get me out of Kyoto tonight then it would be increasingly more difficult to track me down even with Kenji-san's help.

"Gag her." Noguchi said as he tossed a bundle of cloth to Arai. "We can't afford to have her make a sound as we're moving out of Kyoto. There are finally a few streets devoid of any Shinsengumi patrols and we need to take full advantage of that."

Arai nodded at Noguchi before he looked at me apologetically. He pulled apart the bundle of clothing to separate it into two separate strips of cloth. Bundling one of the strips back into a small, tight ball, he stuffed it in my mouth before he tied the other strip around my mouth to keep me from spiting the cloth ball back out.

"So what's the plan?" Arai asked as he bent down to collect the rest of their belongings.

"We'll escape through the route Sakai-san secured for us." Noguchi answered as he gestured towards the door of the room to get everyone moving. I was carried out of the room and down the dark stairway to the first floor before Noguchi continued speaking. "I secured a small cart for us to use. We'll place the Higanbana on the cart, between the sacks of rice and then cover everything in the cart with a sheet of burlap. Arai-kun, you and I will disguise ourselves as villagers leaving Kyoto to return to our village with a cart of goods, so we need to hide our swords in the cart. Sasaki-san will act as our "hired" bodyguard since there have been highwaymen littering the roads lately. Understand?"

"Understood." the other two men answered in unison.

Sakai, who was still carrying me, followed Arai as they navigated the dark and deserted first floor of the inn until we crossed the kitchen and exited out the back door. Just like Noguchi said earlier, there was an old wooden cart waiting in the back of the inn. Already in the cart were some sacks of rice and baskets full of vegetables along with a small quantity of eggs. Between the sacks of rice was a hollow, padded area that was just large enough to fit me. Sakai briskly strolled up to the cart and dumped me unceremoniously in the empty spot. Quickly afterwards, everything fell into place. The swords were hidden in the cart, under the eggs, and Sakai armed himself with his spear. The burlap cover was pulled over the goods on the cart just as Arai and Noguchi completed their disguise by throwing on a hanten each.

"Okay, let's get moving." I heard Sakai say from under the burlap cover before I felt a jerk as the cart began moving.

What was I going to do now? I couldn't let them take me without a struggle, but what could I do in my current state? I wasn't the most physically capable right now because of my condition and I had no way of freeing myself from my bounds. With the gag in my mouth, it was also impossible to scream for attention. I was helpless and I hated myself for it. Just the thought of being unable to even struggle was enough to cause me to break out into cold sweat.

For several minute from then on, only the silence of the night and the occasional bumps in the road that caused the cart to jostle me was all that kept me company. Each minute felt like days which then became shorter than seconds as my hope of being rescued dwindled away. Then as suddenly as the cart jerked forward when it started moving, it suddenly halted before I heard a loud cling of metal colliding with metal followed by a thump of some weapon sinking into one of the wooden sides of the cart.

"Shit! This is no safe road! It's an ambush! They only made it seem like an empty road to draw us out!" I heard Noguchi cry before all the items, including me, in the cart were jostled as both Noguchi and Arai jumped on top of the cart to hastily fish out their swords for the impending fight.

"This is as far as you go." a familiar voice rang clearly through the tense atmosphere. I recognized it! It was Sannan-san! "Return Okita Shizuka to us and we may just not kill you."

However, instead of hearing a retort from the opposing side, there was the whizzing sound of a fast object speeding by followed by a disturbing sounding gurgle of a thick liquid and a soft thud of something hitting the dirt road.

"Sakai-san!" Noguchi seemed to cry in pure shock before snarling at his opponents, "You don't fight with honor, telling us that you would offer mercy before slitting a man's throat with a throwing knife without warning!"

"There's no honor in stabbing women and kidnapping pregnant women. Why should I honor you with a chance at mercy as a reward for your treachery?" a cold voice asked, sending chills down my spine. "You're all dying by my hand one way or another, especially you kid. I'll hang you by your own intestines and enjoy every moment of it."

"Fuma, we need at least one alive." said another voice, Saito-san, followed by some footsteps. "Though it would do me great pleasure to dispose of them here and now, we need one of them to question. You already killed one, now step back and let Sannan-san and I handle the rest."

"Come back and tell me that after it's your wife that's been stabbed and left for dead." Kenji-san snapped back, sounding enraged enough to strike a friend. "Kyoko lucky that Souji-san was there and had read enough of Shizuka-san's medical journals to be able to stop the bleeding. If not, then Kyoko would have bleed to death right there."

"Fuma-kun! Wait!" I heard Sannan-san yell before all hell broke loose.

In a matter of seconds, there was the ringing of metal clashing against metal for a brief second before the sickening sound of a blade sinking into flesh. A thick iron scent filled the air. Despite not being able to see what was going on, I did not need to see the kill to know that another man was dead. He didn't even have a chance to scream. There was no fight, just slaughter.

"N-Noguchi-san!" the last man standing, Arai, cried in absolute horror.

Arai backed up from wherever he was standing until his back hit the cart I was still hidden in. He was shaking from so much fear that he was causing the cart to tremble along with him. A thump sounded with the sound of metal scraping against the dirt and small pebbles of the road signaled to me that he had dropped his sword. His hands had gone so soft from fear that he could no longer even fight back.

"Fuma-kun! Stop!" I heard Sannan-san yell before the sound of metal striking metal again.

"Saito-san, out of my way." Kenji growled darkly. "He's mine to kill."

"Then you should have killed him first instead of the other ones. We need him alive to question him." Saito-san said, sounding a lot closer to the cart than he was before when he last spoke. "Do not forget that Kyoko-san was not the only person that had been targeted. You can have him after we are done with him."

"Fine then." Kenji growled in irritation before I heard him slam his weapon back into its sheath.

"Good grief. The reason we let you tag along on this retrieval mission instead of Okita-kun was because I believed that you would have more control over yourself. Fuma-kun, you're nearly as bad as Okita-kun when he's on a killing spree." Sannan-san sighed tiredly before issuing orders. "Saito-kun, tie that young man up securely. Fuma-kun, why don't you help me dig up Shizuka-chan from this cart?"

I heard a sigh before the burlap cover was flipped, then I saw some friendly faces I hadn't seen in a week. Sannan-san grinned as soon as he saw me, although his grin was almost one of amusement. He sent a flippant wave in my direction, as if he were say, "Hello, long time no see."

"Well, looking a bit tided up there." Kenji-san chimed in, the murderous aura he seemed to be exerting had vaporized the instant he flipped the burlap cover. "Let's get you home and back to your husband and child. Saying that they are eager to get you back would be a gross understatement."

I stared at him, shocked from the sudden shift in behavior in Kenji-san. I honestly wondered if I had imagined Kenji-san's persona from earlier. It was true that I was friends with Kenji-san, but I had never seen that bloodthristy side of him before. Kenji-san was a mysterious figure of many faces and while I knew I could trust him, never before had my stomach clenched so uncomfortably then when I saw him at that moment. He was the one that did all the killing, but there was not even a drop of blood splatter on him. He was a dangerous man and I was never so glad that he was on my side.

* * *

[1] A traditional Japanese spear with an extra-long straight bladed point.


	93. Chapter 90

I promise there will be more action in the next chapter, so let's get this one out of the way first. Oh, to answer someone's question on what Internet company I was using, it was called Clear. Bet a bunch of you haven't heard of it before.

* * *

**Chapter 90**

"I close my eyes, thinking that there is nothing like an embrace after an absence, nothing like fitting my face into the curve of his shoulder and filling my lungs with the scent of him." ― Jodi Picoult, _Keeping Faith_

The cloth tied around my mouth sagged before Sannan-san completely removed it, allowing me to finally spit out that other wad of cloth that had been stuffed into my mouth to gag me. Sannan-san seemed to chuckle at the amount of force I put into spitting out that salvia soaked cloth and just had to comment.

"I'm glad you didn't see it fit to spit that out at me." Sannan-san said as a playful poke as he pushed up his glasses, causing them to twinkle ever so ominously in the moonlight.

"Well, if you're so torn up about that then you can always stuff that wad back in my mouth and stand in front of me so I can spit it out at you." I commented in a dry, mocking tone as my lips twisted into a wry smile. "How did you find me?"

"With the clue you left for us." Saito-san answered instead as he stood up to his full height after tying up the last and only remaining survivor from the ambush.

Arai, who was left physically unscathed by the earlier assault, was laying on his stomach while tied up by some thick rope Saito-san had salvaged from the cart and was left to stare in horror at his dead comrades. Leaning half against the wooden cart and half on the dirt road was the big brute, Sakai. His eyes were wide, almost to the point where they looked like they were going to pop out, and his mouth was left open like he were about to scream. Sakai's face was pale with a light tinge of blue, which provided a brilliant contrast to the last of gurgling blood that leaked from the horrendous wound that was, without a doubt, the cause of death. Gleaming in the moonlight from the blood that painted it, a rather long throwing knife protruded from Sakai's throat as it pinned the corpse to the cart. The massive amount of blood splatter lining external wall of the cart and the blood that poured down the body told me that the left carotid artery had been completely severed by that knife in a single throw.

Lying roughly about four feet away from Arai's face was the Noguchi, the kind captor that didn't mind talking and keeping me company. Like his other dead comrade, Noguchi had also died with his eyes wide open, but he at least died in battle with his sword in his hand. Noguchi had his abdomen split open, his entrails spilling into the streets along with copious amounts of blood.

"Sannan-san, please take care of our prisoner." Saito-san then said as he stepped in front of me, purposely blocking the gory scene of death from me and helped me sit up. "I will take care of Shizuka now per Souji's request."

"Alright." Sannan-san replied before addressing Kenji-san with a rather admonishing glance when he notice the bloodlust return when Kenji-san returned to glaring at Arai. "Fuma-kun, if you may, please tell the remaining patrols to return to the Shinsengumi headquarters and that the plan was a success. Saito-kun and I have everything covered here."

"Very well." Kenji-san growled as the corner of his mouth twitched downwards before wiping his face clean of any malice in an instant. He then shot me a warm smile and pat my head, like I was a small puppy, before he vanished right before my eyes.

"You found my kanzashi?" I spoke up again, after recovering from the shock caused by Kenji-san's behavior and the poor state of the corpses nearby.

"Heisuke did." Saito-san answered as he cut cloth bindings on my wrist and around my ankles. "But we could not raid the inn your captors were using as a hideout. There were too many civilians staying at the inn and too many chances for casualties."

"So we devised a plan to lure them out into the open." Sannan-san said as he let Arai stare as his dead brother-in-arms longer as a cruel form of torment. "Though, Okita-kun and Kondou-san were in favor of raiding the 'damn place' without a thought to the consequences. I believed that they were hiding out at that inn because they could not leave Kyoto without being spotted due to our patrols on every street and that the moment we pulled out our patrols and created a small crack, your captors would then take that chance to escape."

"So you used that information to draw them out to the killing grounds." I finished the explanation for Sannan-san as I rubbed my wrists. Despite using softer cloth to bind my limbs, my wrists and ankles were still red from how tightly they had bound them. Plus, my feet were swollen. The joys of pregnancy. "Good grief. I thought everything was over when they were about to smuggle me out of the city."

"Have more faith in us. We would never let that happen, especially with the threat of Okita-kun self-destructing hanging over our head." Sannan-san replied with a cheeky grin before he laid a hand on my belly. "So how are you feeling? And the baby? They weren't too rough on you, were they?"

"I'm fine and the babies are fine. I'm just annoyed that I was tied up the whole time. I wasn't even allowed to stand up and walk around a bit." I answered as Sannan-san withdrew his hand before I hopped off the cart to finally stand and stretch my legs, or at least attempted to.

Before I could even attempt to push myself off the wooden cart, Saito-san swept me up in his arms and gave me a scolding look I normally only got from Souji when I was pushing myself. My retort died in my throat as soon as I caught that same look on Sannan-san's face too.

"While I'm sure you would like to walk back, we can't allow that." Sannan-san said before he took off his haori uniform and draped it over me to help keep me warm. It was still January and it wasn't hard to be reminded how much the cold affected me when I had started shivering once I was no longer under the burlap cover. It would probably snow soon.

"Pregnant women that haven't been on their feet in over a week tend to be unsteady." Saito-san stated as he shifted me in his arms to distribute my weight more evenly. "We don't want you to lose your balance and fall on our way back, especially now you have stated you are pregnant with more than one baby. Does Souji know?"

"No. Up until about a day ago, I was still wondering if I miscounted how many weeks I was along." I muttered as I placed my hand on my belly when I felt a small fluttering movement of the babies moving before switching gears. "How is Kyoko-chan, by the way? I head that's she's alive, but that's about it."

"She's recovering well." Sannan-san said with a smile to reassure me that everything was fine, though, his voice was filled with amusement for some reason. "She decided to recover at headquarters until you return and has all but kicked Okita-kun out of his living quarters as she took up residence in it. As you can probably tell, she's already rather energetic."

"Colonel. Saito-san." a new voice spoke up behind us as a new presence flashed in. It was Yamazaki-san dressed up in his normal, mysterious-looking mission garb. "I will take care of the cleanup. Please return to headquarters with Sensei."

"Ah. Very well, Yamazaki-kun." Sannan-san said before he picked up Arai and tossed him over his shoulder like an old bag of rice. "Saito-san, shall we be on our way?"

"I trusted you… I was nice to you…" Arai suddenly started to mutter, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled in on us as we began to make our way back, before he looked up from his position to stare at me we the look of utter betrayal. He was probably shaken out of his shock when he was jostled by Sannan-san. "How could you use my kindness to get Sakai-san and Nogushi-san killed? Nogushi-san had a family he needed to return to." Arai said with his voice subdued in quiet unbelief at how everything went to hell in an instant for him and his comrades.

"You were an enemy and I have my own family I needed to return to." I merely stated without showing a hint of sympathy, causing the boy to flinch at my words. "You should have never trusted me to behave in the first place."

"'Were'?" he then suddenly asked.

"Yes. You 'were' an enemy. But now all you are is a hostage for questioning until your usefulness is up." I answered, my tone cutting into him like a knife made from ice. I felt no need to spare his feelings. "Let this be a lesson in truth to you: when you participate other people's dangerous games like this," I paused as I gestured with a jerk of my head to the dead men lying in the streets, "you either win or you die. There is no middle ground, especially if you're just a mere pawn to your superiors."

That shut him up pretty fast.

* * *

As soon as Saito-san stepped through the gates of headquarters, a sound that was enough to cause any mother's heart to break reached my ears. It wasn't the loud screaming cry most mothers grew accustom to hearing. It wasn't a tantrum cry, or one of need. It was the small whine accompanied by a quiet sob that sounded absolutely heart wrenching when combined. It made me want to leap out of Saito-san's arms, consequences be damned, and run to my poor baby.

"That's Ryota." Sannan-san said, confirming my thoughts. "He hasn't really stopped since you were abducted. Okita-kun has managed to mitigate the worst of it, but not all of it. I will go secure our prisoner in the holding cells before joining you in the main hall."

"Understood." Saito-san said with a polite nod to Sannan-san before splitting off and making his toward the main hall, where the cries were originating from."

"Saito-san?" I spoke up after a brief moment. "Has Ryota gotten any sleep?"

"Some, not enough." Saito-san answered plainly. "When he does fall asleep, he always wakes up in tears while crying for you. Though I believe he will sleep well tonight, Souji too." he finished with a small, but warm smile.

It wasn't long before we were a few feet from the main hall door. Despite it being the middle of the night in winter, the door was left wide open with disregard to the cold wind howling as the wind blew through the courtyard. It was already cold enough for snow and it would most likely snow any day now. I shivered a bit at the icy wind before wrapping myself up a little tighter in Sannan-san's haori and snuggled a bit closer to Saito-san for heat. Saito-san merely spared me a brief look and didn't say anything about my actions, but he walked a bit faster towards the main hall.

"Shhh… Ryota, it'll be okay. Kenji-oji-san said that they rescued Okaa-san and that their on their way back." I heard Souji softly murmur to Ryota as soon as Saito-san and I were at the entryway.

All the men were sitting in a neat circle and had not noticed us as they were all staring at the floor, half lost in their own thoughts and half listening to what each other had to say. Ryota, on the other hand, was sitting on Souji's lap with his face buried against Souji's chest. His little hands were curled into fists as he grabbed on to Souji's clothing as he tried his best to stifle his sobs, but to no avail. Ryota sniffed a little louder as Souji rubbed his back in a slow and gentle circular motion. As for Chizuru-chan, she was nowhere in sight, which was strange since she has always been talented in cheering the guys up whenever something happened. Well, if she wasn't here then she was probably taking care of Kyoko-chan right now. With Yamazaki-san on cleanup right now, someone had to take care of our injured guest.

"And yet you all still possess grim expression." Kenji-san comment on Souji's reassurance to Ryota before he shot me and Saito-san a grin. So he did notice us arrive. Too bad he was the only one that did. "Is it that hard to believe that Shizuka-san will arrive back home in a briefly?"

"Shizu-chan did always have a knack for getting into trouble…" Otou-san muttered in response as he continuously drew nonsensical circles on the wooden floor. "Of course she was always smart enough to get out of trouble herself…most of the time…"

What was that supposed to mean?! Actually…I can't really deny that was not true…

"Yeah, no kidding." Heisuke snorted with a small bitter-looking smile as he too stared at the floor. "Remember the time when she told that ronin that he could stand to lose some weight while he was in the middle of bragging to a bunch of girls about his strength? That ronin's face turned so many different shades of purple from that statement."

"Which then resulted Shinpachi, Heisuke, and I getting into a giant street brawl with Shizuka watching from the sidelines while drinking tea." Sano-san said with a small chuckle as he put his hand on his forehead before pushing some of his hair out of his face. "I remember coming back to headquarters afterwards only to get torn into by Hijikata-san while Shizuka snuck out of the room and got away scot free."

"Or so you would think." Hijikata-san snorted next with a nostalgic smile dancing on his lips. "I got her when you guys weren't looking. Though it took four tries to finally serve her the punishment for her actions. The first few times I tried to catch up to her, I got hit in the face with a tree."

"Wait… A tree? As in a whole tree and not just the branches?" Shinpachi-san spoke up with an incredulous look on his face as he turned to openly stare at Hijikata-san. "How the hell did she manage that?"

"With great skill." I finally spoke up with a cheeky tone, making myself and Saito-san presence finally know to everyone else in the room.

At the sound of my voice, everyone perked up and their eyes shot to the doorway where Saito-san was standing with me in his arms. With a great chorus of shouts, everyone seemed to jump to their feet and crowded around Saito-san and me in an instant. The moment Saito-san placed me on my feet, a small body collided with my leg, latching on by wrapping his arms around my leg and clenching the fabric of my kimono between his tiny fingers.

"Okaa-san…" Ryota whined with teary eyes as he buried his face against my leg, causing a small portion of my kimono to grow damp. He hugged my leg with his hands tangled in my kimono, afraid to let go as if he were afraid that the moment he let go that I would disappear. His shoulders shook with small hiccups as he continued to whine, "Okaa-san…"

…Oh, my poor little boy. I had suddenly vanished without warning, and while it wasn't on purpose, it had still hurt him.

Bending down the best I could with my pregnant belly in the way, Ryota briefly let go of my kimono as I leveled my face with is. I wiped away his tears the best I could with the sleeves of my kimono before tenderly laying a hand on his cheek while offering a small smile. After staring me in the eyes for a short few seconds, Ryota teared up again and grabbed me in a warm hug while burying his face into the side of my neck, refusing to let go again.

"Shh… Okaa-san is here. No more crying, okay Ryota?" I whispered into his ear as before I picked him up and stood up straight again. True, Souji didn't want me to be lifting anything heavy while pregnant, Ryota included, but I think right now would be the exception.

As soon as I stood up again, a second didn't even pass before I was grabbed again, this time by someone larger, and engulfed into another hug that happened to squish Ryota between me and the other person.

"Shizu-chan, you're safe…" Otou-san said in a sigh of glad relief as he hugged me with enough force to almost squeeze the breath out of me.

Ryota whined in protest to his sudden lack of room, but he didn't let go. As for the babies that were still growing within me, they didn't seem too happy at the sudden lack of space and kicked, surprising Otou-san enough to let go of me and step back in awe.

"Kondou-san," Souji said as he approached me, relief clearly written in his eyes before he, and with great difficulty, removed Ryota from my arms, "don't forget that the baby needs room too."

At Souji's words, Otou-san scratched the back of his neck sheepishly with a cheerful chortle. It was when Otou-san stepped back once more that Souji shifted Ryota's weight onto one arm so he could free up one arm. It was his turn now. He stepped forwards as placed his hand on my cheek before pecking my forehead.

"You okay?" he asked as he leaned his forehead against mine and lowered his hand to touch my belly. "The baby's fine?"

"Yeah, everything is fine." I replied as I offered him an assuring smile. "They had orders to take me unharmed."

Souji let out a sigh of relief when he felt the babies move, though he was still unaware that he was feeling two babies instead of one, and moved his hand to my hip before planting a kiss on my lips, only to be disrupted at the sound of a clap. We pulled apart to see Sannan-san standing in the doorway with a slightly sadistic looking smile.

"Ah, young love." Sannan-san said, making himself sound like an old man before he dropped his smiley face to get to a more important topic on hand. "So our prisoner is snuggly in a cell waiting for the pleasure of being questioned."

"Ah. Nicely done Sannan-san. You too, Saito." Hijikata-san spoke up as he cleared his throat, intent on gathering everyone's attention. As soon as everyone stop their chattering and looked up at him, Hijikata-san continued. "Sannan-san, Kondou-san, and I will start questioning our prisoner for information and a motive. The rest of you, go get some rest. Souji, stay with Shizuka."

Souji snorted in a rather rude fashion at Hijikata-san's orders. "Of course." he said to Hijikata-san along with the are-you-stupid expression. "I wouldn't leave Shizuka alone now, even if you had ordered it. You don't have to give stupid orders."

Hijikata-san just sighed tiredly and shot Souji a weary look, one that I happened to notice on the Idiot Trio's faces too. Souji must have been…difficult to deal with this week. One thing I had noticed with Souji earlier on in our relationship, before we even became intimate with each other, is that there was a particular facet of Souji's personality that was extremely unstable when the balance had been upset. Whenever Otou-san was threatened or even upset in anyway, then Souji had the tendency to flip out and, sometimes, in the most violent ways. That same attitude Souji had towards Otou-san didn't take long to extend to me soon afterwards, and now that I was his pregnant wife and the mother of his son, I'm betting that his irrational behavior flew off the charts this past week. I had hope that now he had a son to watch over that he would fly off the handle quite as badly, but… Sannan-san did say that Souji did manage to comfort Ryota enough to lower the amount of crying, so maybe Souji wasn't all that bad.

"Right." Shinpachi-san said to fill up the awkward silence that had filled the room with Souji's defiant comment before he slapped Sano-san on the back in good cheer. "Just like Hijikata-san said, let's go get some rest so we have clear minds when the questionin' is done."

"That's right!" Sano-san agreed as he jump on the same boat as Shinpachi-san. "Shizuka must be tired after this whole ordeal. Why don't you take her back to rest in you guy's room, Souji? I bet Shizuka also wants to see Kyoko."

"Alright." Souji replied after musing his other options for a few seconds. There seemed to a silent, collective sigh of relief that seeped through the room at his answer. Souji put Ryota down before kneeling down to talk to his son. "Ryota, can you follow Tou-san and Okaa-san on your own?"

"Um!" Ryota replied with a nod as he grabbed on to Souji's hakama.

"Good kid." Souji said before ruffling Ryota's hair. He stood up straight after getting Ryota's answer and swept me off my feet, knocking the breath out of me as I jolted in surprise at the sudden action. "Pregnant women shouldn't be walking." he replied with a smile to my frown.

I wonder if it ever occurred to anyone that I wanted to walk on my own. Looking at Heisuke when I heard an almost inaudible snigger, it appeared that Heisuke knew exactly what I was thinking. He flipped me a thumbs up before he practically skipped out of the room after Sano-san and Shinpachi-san like a fawn. Saito-san, on the other hand, offered me and Souji a shallow bow as a polite "goodnight" before exiting the room after Heisuke.

"Well then," Otou-san said with a cheery grin plastered on his face, "goodnight to you three. I come visit you again later when you're well rested, Shizu-chan." He then placed one more kiss on my forehead before escorting Sannan-san and Hijikata-san out the door with him.

"Let us go shall we." Kenji-san chimed in after everyone else had left, causing me to jump again before I turned to face him. I forgotten that he was still here. "I need to take Kyoko back home now. I'm sure you guys would like your room back now."

"Ah, yes." Souji answered with a dry smile as he began making his way back to our room, making sure to hold me a little tighter to his chest when we left the main hall to protect me from the cold. "I would like to have my room back and I'm sure Ryota misses sleeping in his own bed too."

And right on cue, Ryota let out a big yawn before rubbing his eyes. Kenji-san let out a chortle at the display and hurried ahead a few feet to open the door to the bedroom for us.

"I said no!" a loud grumpy sounding voice filtered out as soon as the door open. So Kyoko-chan was still awake and sounding none too pleased when she saw Kenji-san's at the open door. "I told you I'm not leaving until they bring Shizuka-chan back! Oh, you face looks funny at this angle. Hehehe…"

"Which has happened." Kenji-san chirped, unfazed by Kyoko-chan's reaction and ignoring that last statement, before he stepped to the side to reveal me in Souji's arms and Ryota attached to Souji's leg.

"Shizuka-chan!" Chizuru-chan, who was next to Kyoko-chan, exclaimed with a giant smile.

Kyoko-chan, on the other hand, jumped out of the futon and slammed into Souji, almost knocking him over, in an attempt to hug me instead of being reasonable.

"Kyoko-chan," Souji grunted on impact as he eyed her in irritation, "can you not do that? Besides, aren't you supposed to be injured and in pain? You shouldn't be able to jump up and body slam us like that."

"Oh, don't worry." Kyoko-chan exclaimed as she disregarded Souji's annoyance. "Chizuru-chan put me on painkillers!"

Painkillers?

"Which one?" I asked, though I was kind of already knew what the answer would be.

"The ones that make you happy!" she answered with a voice full of pep as she hugged Souji when she realized that Souji wasn't going to put me down and that it would be impossible to hug me by myself as long as I was being carried.

Oh geez. I knew it. Chizuru-chan must have given Kyoko-chan a strong opioid for the pain. It couldn't be morphine because I didn't restock. Maybe buprenorphine?

"Right." Kenji-san said while looking extremely amused as he took in Souji's now uncomfortable expression as Kyoko-chan hung off his arm as she tried to give me another hug. "Well now that you've seen Shizuka-chan, it's time to go home."

"Boo, you're no fun, you…you…you stupidly, handsome ninja." Kyoko-chan retorted as Kenji picked her up and gave me a look to tell me that he would like to talk about Kyoko-chan's medication. Then in an instant flash, Kenji vanished with Kyoko-chan.

"Chizuru-chan, what DID you give her?" Souji asked Chizuru-chan with a raised eyebrow as he observed her sheepish behavior.

"Buprenorphine?" I asked Chizuru-chan.

"I didn't think she would react like that…" Chizuru-chan muttered in slight embarrassment.

"It's fine." I replied with a gentle smile. "Most people don't know how loopy Kyoko-chan tends to get when she's on painkillers."

I learned the hard way when she had to be prescribed ibuprofen for menstrual cramps. Nope! Not doing that again.

"Oh! Um…" Chizuru-chan suddenly stammered before blushing in embarrassment, drawing my attention out of my own musing.

Souji was giving her a look of… Well, all it said was, "Get out."

"I'm glad you're back Shizuka-chan, but I should go now." she finished in a hurry before scrambling out the door.

"What did you do that for?" I asked as soon as Chizuru-chan made herself scarce.

"I wanted some privacy." Souji answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world before he set me down on the futon that Kyoko-chan had just recently vacated.

As soon as I was on the futon, Ryota scrambled over to where I was sitting like a little mouse before crawling over my lap to get to his usual sleeping spot. He dug himself under the blankets, wrapping himself up to make himself more comfortable before laying his head on my lap to use it as his pillow.

"No Ryota, you need to change into your sleeping clothes first…" I said before I realized that he had fallen asleep the instant his head touched my lap. Tired indeed. Just how much, or little, sleep did he get this past week?

I looked to Souji as a small plea of help. He chuckled at the whole thing and went to fetch Ryota's sleepwear as I untangled Ryota from the blankets with great care. I didn't want to wake him up again when he was finally getting the rest he needed. I removed his little wooden sword from his obi and placed it on the tatami mat above his head before I set to work untying his obi and removing his clothing. To make sure he didn't get too cold, as soon as Souji handed me Ryota's sleeping robe, I wasted no time wrapping Ryota's little body with his clothing before placing him back under the soft blankets.

"How much sleep did he get this past week?" I asked Souji in a hushed voice as I stroked Ryota's head.

"Not much." he replied in a tired sigh as he removed Sannan-san's haori from my shoulders so he could slink in behind me on the futon and drape himself on me to provide his own body heat. Then as if it were an afterthought, he reached into his sleeve and pulled out my kanzashi, which Heisuke picked up, and tucked it back into my hair despite the fact we were going to go to sleep soon. "He would cry for you in his sleep when he did fall asleep and soon sleep became unappealing to him."

Souji then pulled me closer to him, if that was even possible, and placed his chin on my shoulder so he could rest his cheek against mine. There was a moment of silence before he moved his hands to my belly. I could feel a smile grow on his face when he felt the babies move.

"Souji?"

"Hmm?"

"Sorry."

"What for?" he asked as he pull his face back a bit so he could stare at me in confusion.

"You must have gone through a lot of grief when I was taken."

"That's not your fault." Souji said as he gained a well-hidden look of guilt in his eyes. I was almost fooled by the nonchalant shrug of his shoulder he used to hide behind. "You were with me at the time and if I had only been paying more attention—"

"It's not your fault either." I hurried to cut him off. No more guilt. It wasn't even his fault and I didn't want him going down this road of self-depreciation. He already did enough of that to last him a lifetime. "It's nobody's fault. No one saw it coming."

Well, maybe except for Itou, but I wasn't going to say that out loud.

"But still…" Souji said before it let the issue go for now with a resigned sigh and focused on the movement he felt from my belly once more. He didn't seem willing to argue with me right now. "The baby seems entirely fine despite the whole ordeal."

"Oh, I still have something to tell you. Regarding the 'baby', I mean." I said when I was reminded that I hadn't told Souji about the twin situation.

"What? Is something wrong?" Souji asked, voice filled with worry as he sat ups straighter than before in less than an instant and had me turn around to face him completely as his hands gripped my shoulders. "Did something happen to the baby?"

"Huh? What?" I said as I was taken back by Souji's demeanor, shocked by the sudden change in behavior. Was what I was going to say a bad thing? I didn't even say anything yet, so why was Souji looking at me with dread? "No, nothing's wrong!" I exclaimed as he looked about ready to have a heart attack. "I was just going to say that that I'm not pregnant with just a single baby. I think I'm pregnant with twins."

"Wha…?" Souji uttered in complete shock before he lost his voice. His jaw flapped up and down uselessly for a few seconds first with no sounds coming out of his mouth before he dropped his face onto my shoulder. "Don't do that!" he finally said into my shoulder as the tenseness eased out of his back. "The way you worded it… I thought you were going to say that something along the lines of, 'A miscarriage is eminent.' I think you just scared ten years off my life."

Oh. Whoops. Souji did have a point there. I should really begin wording somethings better.

"But this isn't a bad thing at all." Souji said as he lifted his head off my shoulders. He had an unreadable expression as he looked at my belly. I think it was a cross between pleasant surprise, awe, and excitement. He placed both his hands on my belly before murmuring, "Not a bad thing at all." before he closed the distance between us for a kiss.

* * *

"Hijikata-san, what do you want?" I heard Souji growl, causing me to stir from my sleep.

Ryota was still asleep and pressed up against my side, however, Souji's spot was empty. There was some light coming in through the windows, but not much. The sun was rising but it had not yet broken the horizon to spill its light in full. Turning to the opposite where the voices were coming from, I peeked through semi closed eyes to see what was going on. Souji was sitting at the desk with a calligraphy brush in hand as he paused his work to be hostile towards Hijikata-san's head, which was poking through a partially open door.

"Tch!" Hijikata-san scoffed as he looked immensely displeased by Souji's rudeness. "If you're going to be rude then I'm not going to tell you what we got out of our prisoner."

"He didn't mean it." I spoke up, alerting both men that I was now awake. "Souji's just annoyed that you're interrupting whatever he's working on so early in the morning."

"Ah, sorry Shizuka. Did we wake you?" Hijikata-san said as his disgruntle expression slid off his face when he saw my tired smile.

"I'm sure I would have woken up eventually." I said as I answered around the question before I sat up on the futon. "What did you find out?"

"Does the name Nagumo Kaoru mean anything to you?" Hijikata-san asked after a silent moment of what seemed like internal debate.

Nagumo? What the fucking hell?


	94. Chapter 91

I apologize for the long wait, but I had to study for finals and take said finals. On the bright side, I'm done with all my classes required for my major and just need to wait for commencement in the spring. Hopefully I will have more time now, but it'll be hard to say. I need to start studying for my certification test that will be in April and I will need to find a job in my major now.

* * *

**Chapter 91**

"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." ― Agatha Christie, _The Hound of Death_

Nagumo Kaoru? It was like a bucket of icy water was dumped on me as soon as that name came out of Hijikata-san's mouth. That was not the name I expected to roll off Hijikata-san's tongue. However, Souji didn't seem to look surprised at the name, and if he was, he was hiding it well.

"Shizuka?" Hijikata-san called out to me again in an attempt to snap me out of my stupor, but to no avail. I currently favored my own thoughts over what he had to say.

Nagumo Kaoru… How did she fit into this mess? From what I gathered from our interactions, she just seemed like a person that was eager to know me, and was the bitch that flirted with my husband, but that's a whole other story. Or was it? According to Souji, when she was flirting with him, she wanted to know more about me and Chizuru-chan. Souji noted from that it was possible that she was an oni because she and Kazama seemed to have similar interest in targets, me and Chizuru-chan. Then, there was the time I ran into her at the market that one time after I dropped Chinatsu off at Matsumoto-sensei's clinic, she was eager to get to know me better by inviting me out to tea with her, alone. Could that have been a ploy to get me alone to kidnap me? Possibly. Then, the most recent incident, the woman that looked like Chizuru-chan interfered with Sano-san's duties when he had to make those arrests at the bulletin boards. The men that Sano-san had been able to arrest had been from Tosa domain too. There was no way that could have been a coincident.

I wanted to smack myself. I was an idiot and a fool! If only I had not been so stupidly focused on the fact that Nagumo flirted with Souji then I could have made the connections. Nagumo Kaoru was no ordinary person. She was dangerous. She was different kind of dangerous from Kazama through the lack of display in physical power, but instead of physical power, she displayed an exceptional prowess in deception and strategic thinking. No wonder Souji didn't seem surprised at this revelation. He had originally sensed something off with her in the beginning and he had a clear mind, unclouded by childish jealousy, to make the connections. This was probably just confirming his suspicions.

A sudden dip in the futon startled me out of my thoughts. Souji wrapped an arm around my waist like a warm blanket and pulled me close so I could lean my head against his shoulder as he sat down next to me on the futon. He let out a strangely calm sigh as he rubbed the back of his neck nonchalantly with his other hand, as if the news didn't bother him at all.

"I figured as much." Souji said after his tired sounding sigh before turning to me with a small, comforting smile. "This is why I asked you to be more careful around her if you ever ran into her again. There was something suspicious about her."

"So the name does mean something to you." Hijikata-san said as his eyes narrowed at the confirmation. "With this, there's no way what happened at the bulletin boards that night was a coincidence."

"What else did you get from our captive?" Souji asked, all signs of petulant annoyance from before were now gone.

"He's from Tosa domain." Sannan-san said as he appeared behind Hijikata-san with Otou-san. "Hijikata-kun, why don't we all step inside? It's not prudent to have this discussion with us half hanging out in the hallway."

"Right." Hijikata-san said with a nod before stepping to the side so he could fully open the door to allow Sannan-san and Otou-san to enter the bedroom.

Sannan-san, with his normal serene and calm behavior, stepped into the room and took a seat directly across from Souji and me on the tatami mat with his typical smile. Otou-san, on the other hand, rushed in like an uncoordinated elephant, and wasted no time settling in on my remaining vacant side. He swallowed me with his large arms in a bearlike hug while disregarding the fact I was leaning on Souji. Souji allowed Otou-san to pull me away from him to smother me in a hug, especially since it WAS Otou-san, but it was a nice surprise when Souji kept his one arm around me to keep me from fully separating from him while Otou-san was hanging off of me. It was like Souji was silently saying, "Kondou-san deserves to have Shizuka for a while since he IS my important person and Shizuka's father, but Kondou-san can't have all of her. Shizuka's mine now."

"Otou-san!" I manage to squeak out as Otou-san squeezed the living daylights out of me. "Good morning to you too. I'm glad to see you too," I paused to suck in the much needed oxygen, "but I need to breathe. I'm sure the babies would also appreciate some more room to move."

"B-But Shizu-chan!" Otou-san exclaimed without loosening his grip on me as he shook his head. "With such horrible men after you… No! Otou-san will stay here and protect you! You don't need worry about a thing!"

Well, that was sweet and all, but…

"Kondou-san!" Hijikata-san voiced in slight exasperation as he entered the room last and shut the door behind him. "Shizuka will be fine right now with so many of us around. But," he narrowed his eyes at me, or more specifically at my belly as he leaned against a wall and crossed his arms, "twins, you say?"

"Yeah." I answered, making Otou-san's eyes seemingly pop out of his skull when he actually digested what I said earlier.

"Truly? Twins?" Otou-san exclaimed in uncontainable excitement as he loosened his grip on me before bursting out into a full out jolly laugh. "Twins! Souji, you have such good fortune!" Otou-san laughed joyously for a few more seconds before he released me from his grip and settled with having a hand on my belly.

"So what other information did you glean from our prisoner?" I repeated Souji's question from before to move the conversation forward. We could focus on the fact that I was having twins later. "Because I sincerely hope that all the information you managed to gather does not only consist of Nagumo Kaoru and Tosa domain, especially since even I could tell you that they were from Tosa domain without an interrogation."

"Nagumo Kaoru ordered your abduction due to your status as the Higanbana." Sannan-san answered as he pushed his glasses up his nose and dropped his signature smile. "She, or rather, he ordered those three men to abduct you and bring you to their meeting point just a few kilometers outside of Kyoto."

"Huh, so he was a man. I figured as much." Souji seemed to say rather calmly. Though his face betrayed his tone by scrunching up into an expression of pure disgust.

Oh, I bet I knew what he was thinking. It was probably along the lines of, "A man flirted with me? Ew..." Although, if I were Souji, I think I would have been flattered instead. A person of the same sex flirting with me? Damn, I'm just that good looking!

"Though, I don't understand. Why dress up as a woman when men have more mobility, more power, in our society?" Otou-san spoke up, finally getting over feeling giddy about the news of me being pregnant with twins. Or so I thought. Apparently Otou-san couldn't make up his mind on whether he should be worried over my kidnapper or overjoyed about the fact I was pregnant with twins. As soon as he finished speaking, he rubbed my belly with unrivaled joy, a grin spreading across his face as he felt one of the babies move.

"Mobility and power." I answered when the men all fell into quiet thought. As men, it was difficult for them to step into the realm of women. "What Otou-san said was true about men having more mobility and power, but in a different sense. Since we live in a patriarchal society, men have more mobility and power regarding legal law and politics. But women have more mobility and power on a different field. Tell me, when crossing paths with women out in the city, have you ever instantly regarded any of them to be potentially dangerous or troublemakers? Or did you think they were the weaker sex that had to be protected at all times? Perhaps you instantly thought all those women were innocent and pure? Women are generally seen to be unimportant so no one usually suspects them of anything unscrupulous. It becomes easy to hide and slip by undetected. To work undetected by anyone until it's too late. And while women lack political power, it can't be argued that they don't have sway, especially with powerful men. Think back to some of the Chinese classics you've read. How many wars had been started because of a woman?"

A heavy blanket of silence fell across the room, only to be broken up by Ryota's soft breathing as he continue to sleep blissfully, as the men paused to consider what I had just said. Sure, they did know that some women were heavily involved as tools in politics, but their knowledge was actually quite narrow. They knew about marrying daughters off to forge alliances and to gain political power. They knew that the women that worked in the red-light district, especially the geisha, were well-known to provide secrecy and safe meeting places for men with plans. The possibility that a "normal", "everyday" women could do so much was a new concept to them. The majority of written history had always been written by men and men had written what they had deemed to be important. This meant that they mostly wrote about the important things men had accomplished because women tended to be seen as a means to reproduction in most cases. However, just because women tended to be seen as less important did not mean that they accomplished less or were actually less important. Women tended to work behind the scenes and had heavy sway within a society, whether written history declared so or not.

"We can't allow Nagumo Kaoru to continue working behind the scenes like this." Hijikata-san spoke up, breaking the heavy silence. "If we don't do anything about him then he'll continue to target Shizuka, and most likely Chizuru too. There is no way it's just a coincidence he looks like Chizuru. I'm willing to bet he's related to Chizuru in some way and if he is, that means he's an oni too. There's no way an oni would continue allowing a female oni remain with humans, and it would leave a bad taste in my mouth if we handed Chizuru over to a bastard like him, family or not."

"Then what do you suggest we do?" Otou-san asked, looking at lost for ideas to deal with this problem.

However, instead of Hijikata-san answering, it was Sannan-san that answered with glasses gleaming ominously as he stared straight at Souji.

"We perform Okita-kun's specialty with the whole of the Shinsengumi, a manhunt." Sannan-san said in all seriousness. "We have the location of where those men were supposed to bring Shizuka-chan and should act fast if we want that information to be useful. If these men were acting under the Tosa domain's orders then we need to capture this Nagumo Kaoru as proof of Tosa domain's treason against the Bakufu. We cannot allow him to undermine the Shinsengumi and the Bakufu like this."

"However, from everything we've gathered, Nagumo Kaoru is nothing if not resourceful." Hijikata-san commented as he put his thumb on his chin. "We need to assume that he knows that his men had been eliminated and one interrogated. If he's smart, then he would have already fled."

"No, he's too smart for that." Souji disagreed with Hijikata-san. "He'll know we'll assumed that he hightailed out of the meeting place for somewhere away from Kyoto. The closer you are to danger, the farther away you are from harm. While we're searching for him outside Kyoto and on the outskirts of Kyoto, he'll be hiding away safely in the heart of Kyoto, where our men will be spread out the thinnest if we follow Hijikata-san's assumption."

"That may be true." Sannan-san said before ultimately making the decision. "However, both these predictions have an equal chance of being true. We'll spread our men to canvas the whole area and we will split up the captains, half within the city and half outside, so we can be prepared to capture Nagumo Kaoru or to deal with any situation that may come up, no matter the location."

"Not all our men." Souji spoke up just as Hijikata-san opened his mouth and was about to speak. "I'm not leaving Shizuka and my son alone at headquarters, especially after she was abducted from under our noses last time."

"Hmm… That's true." Otou-san said before pecking my forehead lightly and looked to Hijikata-san for an answer.

"I doubt Nagumo Kaoru will strike again so soon after his failed kidnapping attempt, but… We'll leave Yamazaki and Shimada here as her guards," Hijikata-san said, pausing to look at me before adding, "and Chizuru to keep her company while we're all out. Chizuru can also serve as a messenger if anything does happen."

Souji nodded in approval at Hijikata-san's suggestion before rubbing gentle circles on my side where his hand fell. Well, that plan did seem pretty sound except for…

"I know the Shinsengumi has grown in size the past couple of years, but do we really have enough people to canvas all of Kyoto and its outskirts?" I said, bringing up the main problem with this plan. "Won't you guys be spread too thin, especially if Nagumo is an oni? If he is an oni, then wouldn't you need more people to handle him if a fight breaks out?"

"I don't think so." Sannan-san answered. "Think about it. When we encountered Kazama and his ensemble, they felt no need for strategic thinking, mainly relying on their prideful massive power reserve. However, Nagumo Kaoru seems to depend on deception and strategy. There is a chance he does so because he lacks the amount of power the other oni have. If he has less power than Kazama and the others, then our captains can handle him without an issue."

That made sense in a way, but I still couldn't help but feel skeptical. There's no way Nagumo would make it that easy for us.

Hijikata-san snorted as he pushed himself off the wall he was leaning on with an eyebrow raised at me. "Stop worrying so much. I'm going to start to feel insulted if you doubt our capabilities that much. Sannan-san and I will go brief the others. Kondou-san, can you go find Chizuru?"

"Yeah, leave it to me!" Otou-san declared as he brought his fist to his chest in a show of confidence.

Hijikata-san grinned at Otou-san's display before turning to Souji. "You can stay here until Chizuru and Shizuka's guards arrive."

Souji merely regarded Hijikata-san in annoyance before snorting himself. "I said that Hijikata-san doesn't have to say stupid things before, didn't I?"

* * *

"Good morning, Shizuka-chan!" Chizuru-chan chirped rather brightly, too brightly, as she stuck her head into mine and Souji's bedroom, quickly prompting Souji to shush her.

"Chizuru-chan, not so loud." Souji said as he brought a single finger up to his lips in a shushing gesture. "Ryota's still sleeping."

"Ah!" Chizuru-chan gasped before swiftly bringing her hands up to cover her mouth while flushing a cute red color. "S-Sorry, Okita-san."

"It's fine." I said as I offered her a kind smile. How could I not when she looked so happy to see me? But it did seem like something was bothering her. "Ryota didn't even stir. He must still be exhausted."

"Alright, I'm heading out to help now." Souji said, pecking me on the forehead and Ryota on the cheek before getting off the futon. He quickly grabbed his katana and strapped it to his side before heading out the door, but not before flashing a reassuring smile at me and shoving Chizuru-chan into the room, causing her to stumble in awkwardly.

"Um…!" Chizuru stuttered a bit awkwardly as she pulled her arms close to her chest, almost like she was creating a protective barrier around herself before she looked around the room while looking a bit lost. "So how are you feeling now?" Chizuru-chan finally said, settling on a course of action.

"A lot better now that I had a proper night's rest. Thank you for your concern." I replied before stretching. It was probably time to get out of bed now. I needed to change and I could really use a hot meal right about now. "Did you eat yet?"

"Yes!" she chirped, perking up as if she suddenly remembered something. "Oh! There's still some hot food in the kitchen. Let me go get some for you."

And before I could reply to her, she dashed out the door to get breakfast while being full of sudden excitement. I'm willing to bet that she heard I was having twins from one of the men. They were all such terrible gossips. Stretching one more time to pop my back, I got out of the futon so I could get changed. While I would love to lounge around in bed all day, I still needed to change and finish a few things. Actually, finish more than a few things. With the revelation that I was pregnant with twins, the work involved in preparing for the arrival of the babies increased twofold.

I would have to sew twice the amount of baby clothes, though I was half tempted to reuse Ryota's old baby clothing instead of making some new ones. But that wouldn't do. Ryota was extremely active and messy as an infant, thus most of his old baby clothing were so worn down that I'd be better off making new ones. Then there was the question of whether I had enough materials for diapers, to make clothing, and not to mention the feeding problem. Breastfeeding Ryota when he was younger was easy compared with what I was going to have to deal with in the future. Just how did one breastfeed twins? Take turns? Both at once? And if it was both at once, then the question would change. How did one breastfeed two babies at once? Back in the future there were support pillows that allowed a mother to support two babies at once during breastfeeding so she could feed both at the same time. Here in this era? I doubt there were any of those on sale. I would have to make my own.

Well, maybe I'd have more ideas on how to deal with everything if I talk to Souji later. For now, it was time to get ready for the day. I shed my sleeping robe, leaving me in nothing but my koshimaki, and that's when the bedroom door opened again followed by an embarrassed sounding squeak.

"Eeep! I'm so sorry!" I heard Chizuru-chan squeak out in a choked voice before she quickly slammed the door shut again.

What was she so embarrassed about? We were both women, so it should have been no big deal.

"Chizuru-chan? No need to be embarrassed. We are both women, so why don't you come in?" I called through closed doors, causing Ryota to stir and open one eye. "I saw some white outside earlier when the door was open, so I'm guessing it snowed last night. Come inside. There's no point in waiting out in the cold."

"A-Are you sure?" Chizuru-chan squeaked like a timid mouse.

"Yeah." I replied, jumping slightly when I felt Ryota attach himself to my leg. He was certainly fast. I didn't even see him get out of bed.

"Okaa-san." Ryota said with large, adorable eyes before…he blew his nose on my koshimaki… Just lovely…

"Okay." Chizuru-chan seemed to answer in a few seconds from behind the door before carefully sliding the door open and slipped in with her eyes on the floor. In her hands was today's breakfast, a tray with two bowls of hot porridge.

An awkward silence filled the room after Chizuru-chan placed the tray containing breakfast on the tatami mat next to the futon. She then took her seat and continue staring at the floor.

"You know it's okay to look at me when you talk." I urged her gently. Other than being overly nervous, something else was definitely bothering Chizuru-chan. Just what was bothering her? Well, I'll eventually get it out of her.

At what I said, Chizuru-chan flushed a bit more before she began playing with her fingers. She slowly raised her head to peer at me before shooting her head back down.

"What is it?"

"I'm afraid I'll start staring." she mumbled. "It'll be rude."

Start staring? Oh! It was because she had never seen a nude pregnant woman before despite the medical training. Women's bodies did change quite dramatically during pregnancy.

"It's alright. I won't be offended." I said as I reached for a clean koshimaki. I wasn't going to continue wearing the one I had on right now, not when Ryota blew his snot all over it. "You're curious, right? You want to know what to expect in the future after you get married. Right?"

"Moh! Shizuka-chan! Don't tease me." she whined as she peeked up at me as I tied my new koshimaki in place while I carefully watched Ryota to prevent another nose-blowing incident. "There's no one I like THAT much yet."

"Yet?" I said playfully as I reached for the next layer, my hadajuban. "From what Souji tells me, someone's a bit sweet on the Oni Vice Commander."

"From what Okita-san says." Chizuru-chan said, sounding a bit indignant. "You actually haven't seen anything."

"True enough." I yielded. "But that's just because I suck at these type of things. However, I do trust Souji's perception of things and if he says you're sweet on Hijikata-san then I believe him."

Chizuru-chan gave me a pouty frown, which was pretty cute, before she let the subject drop. She looked up at me again before she blinked a few times. "Uh… Shizuka-chan?" she said before pointing to her own chest, causing me to look down at my own.

Oh geez. Unlike before, when I was pregnant with Ryota, I didn't start leaking from my breasts until close to birth. This time around, I unfortunately started to leak on my fifteenth week. It wasn't the crazy large amount like my previous pregnancy, but it was still enough to be annoying.

"Oh. Ryota, can you help Okaa-san and go get a towel for me?"

Ryota didn't say anything, but he instantly ran off to one of the cupboards in the room and pulled out a small white towel before running back to me.

"Thank you, Ryota." I said as I accepted the towel and cleaned my breasts off. I quickly finished dressing and nudged Ryota towards the tray with breakfast on it as I was tying off my obi.

"So what's bothering you?" I asked Chizuru-chan once I sat down to begin breakfast. As I finished dressing, Chizuru-chan had become painfully quiet. I took a small spoonful of rice porridge from Ryota's bowl, blew on it before Ryota chomped down on the small spoonful. Instead of waiting for me to feed him, Ryota took the spoon from my hand and began messily eating on his own, ignoring the grains of rice that stuck to his cheeks as he ate.

"Huh?" Chizuru-chan said before she forced a smile onto her face and chirped, "Nothing's wrong."

"You're a terrible liar, especially when I can smell it on you."

"Eh?" Chizuru-chan said as her face scrunched up in confusion and embarrassment once more. "I smell?"

"Yes." I said before taking a bite of my own food. "You reek of a particular aroma. Ah yes, you reek of guilt. So tell me, what have YOU done to make yourself feel so guilty?"

Chizuru-chan broke eye contact with me after my question and stared at the floor, allowing the mask she had on earlier to drop.

"Kaoru-san was the one behind your kidnapping…" she mumbled, her voice barely audible as the winter wind from outside rattled the doors slightly.

"And you feel guilty, why?" I asked as I swallowed another mouthful of porridge. "Did you tell him to kidnap me? Did you help him?" I said as I listed off reasons before hitting the one I knew was true. "Or do you just feel guilty because he looks like you?"

Chizuru-chan didn't answer, but she looked like she wanted to sink into the floor and disappear.

"Chizuru-chan, so what if he looked like you? He only looks like you. He's not you, so none of this is your fault."

"But still…" she said before tearing up a bit. "I was there with the other captains when Sannan-san and Hijikata-san explained everything. There's a chance Kaoru-san is related to me, and I never knew about him. As his family, shouldn't it be my duty to be held responsible for him?"

I sighed as I placed my chopsticks and empty bowl on the tray, and cleaned off Ryota's face before I sandwiched Chizuru-chan's face between my palms, causing her to jump in surprise at my sudden action.

"Eh?! Shizuka-chan?!"

"Chizuru-chan, listen to me very closely." I said as I pressed my forehead against hers. "Before you are anybody's daughter, sister, aunt, niece, or cousin, you are your own person. Do not set yourself on fire just to keep him warm."

"And following that advice will undoubtedly cause you to end up alone, forever." An unwelcome, menacing voice sounded from behind the closed door. "No man will want a disobedient woman. Though, I suppose this is how my beloved imōto was able to forget about me."

That voice! While it certainly sounded more masculine than before, it was undoubtedly Nagumo Kaoru. As quickly as I could, I jumped to my feet and moved in front of both Chizuru-chan and Ryota before the door could open. With the loudest sounding silence, the door slowly slid open to reveal Nagumo Kaoru, who was no longer dressed as a woman and was covered with enough blood splatter to signal to me that he had killed at least one person. Hijikata-san was wrong to think Kaoru wouldn't strike again so fast.

"Who did you kill?" I bit out in a low snarl as I took a step back when he placed a foot within the room. His katana was drawn and soaked with blood. Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san were out on guard. Were they…?

"Hmph. Relax." Nagumo said with suave coolness, if one ignored the blood on him, and a sadistic grin. "Those two were easy enough to slip by. And what, that Yamazaki guy? He's rather terrible at his job. Fuma Kenji's skill is legendary among oni and yet his student can't even hold a candle to him? Pathetic."

"Whose blood is that?" I pressed again, subtly letting my eyes shoot all over the room to look for something I can possibly use as a weapon, but there was nothing. Even my naginata wasn't in this room at the moment. Souji had Otou-san hold on to my naginata as soon as I was pregnant again.

"Well, the dead don't speak, right?" Nagumo said as he came to a stop in front of me. "Why don't you take a guess on who it belongs to?"

The dead don't speak? That blood belonged to Arai. This man was lower than scum! What kind of bastard killed his own men, let alone comrade? Wouldn't it have been better to rescue Arai rather than to kill him? If Nagumo had rescued Arai instead of killing him then Nagumo would have a man that was forever loyal to him. He would not be wasting manpower.

"Bastard." I growled, only causing Nagumo's wicked grin to grow wider.

"Kaoru, why?" Chizuru-chan suddenly spoke up as she stepped forward. "If you really are my onii-san then why are you doing this?"

At Chizuru-chan's question, Nagumo scoffed as the corners of his mouth twitched downward in disgust. "After all I have done, I'm still 'Kaoru' to you? Not 'You', or 'Bastard' or 'Monster'? So patronizing… I can't stand you."

Chizuru-chan was shocked by his reply. All she could do was look down and bite her lip while clenching her hands into fists. She had to know that he was not a good person by now, but the way she still tried to reach out to him… While the Shinsengumi had not originally been kind to Chizuru-chan, everyone had warmed up to her and considered her a close friend and like family. But being kind to Chizuru-chan did not automatically make her think of us as family. Perhaps the reason Chizuru-chan was trying to reach out to him was because she was lonely and was willing to reach out to anybody that was considered to be her family.

Nagumo's grin seemed to return, even wider than before, as he took in the look of despair on Chizuru-chan's face, and without giving her a chance to recover from his words, he continued his assault. "I hate you. While you were taken in by Kodo and given a chance at a happy life, I was taken in by the Nagumo family. The Nagumo family had hoped for a female oni who could bear them children. They were…disappointed to discover they had ended up with the male twin. I suppose I can't blame them for what they did. I simply wasn't equipped to produce children, no matter what they did to me. I was worthless."

At the word "worthless", I wondered how many times he had been told that he was worthless. When he spoke, the word had the sound of one he'd heard so many times that it was simply part of him. At that moment, despite my emotions of hate towards him, I couldn't help but think how similar he was to Souji. They were foils of each other. Both had family die so they were both left with other people to raise them. Both were abused as children. Both were…mentally unstable to a certain point. But they both turned out different from each other just because Otou-san and I were there to reach out to Souji while there was no one for Nagumo. Would Souji have turned out like this if no one reached out to him as well?

"Of course," Nagumo continued, "anyone who told me that has long since, ah, been dispatched."

Or in simpler terms, murdered.

"I have the same blood, and the same face, as my imōto, but because I have the wrong equipment I was treated like trash. Less than trash! And whose fault do you think THAT is?" Nagumo said with a hideous smile twisting the flesh of his face, the same face he shared with Chizuru-chan. It was enough to cause Chizuru-chan to shiver behind me, which he picked up on.

"Oh? Does it bother you to see this face smile like this? Your face? I know how you feel, Imōto-chan. Whenever I saw you happy, it made me so ANGRY."

"Enough!" I demanded as I stepped between Chizuru-chan and Nagumo again. "I doubt you just came here to torment Chizuru-chan. What else do you want?"

"Well, it's not difficult to guess, especially if you know what you are." Nagumo said as he took another step closer to us. "The Higanbana is a means to an end. You'll be coming with me."

"Then you and I are gonna need to have a little talk." That voice! I thought he had already left! "I don't want to give away all the details, but it ends with your death!" Souji finished as he lunged into the room, smashing his blade on top of Nagumo's katana.

"Oh? And I thought the stupid husband already went on this so called 'manhunt'." Nagumo mocked as he pushed Souji's sword off his own. Both men circled each other with their blades ready, each ready to spring into action if the other were to make any sudden movements.

"Well, I trust my own instincts more than Hijikata-san's and Sannan-san's intuition." came Souji's cocky retort.

It was when Souji was standing in front of me, Ryota, and Chizuru-chan that Nagumo reached into the folds of his clothing and pulled out a small glass vile of a familiar red liquid before tossing it at Souji. Souji snatched the vile out of the air, looked down at it, before narrowing his eyes in an icy glare at Nagumo once more.

"Where did you get this?" Souji interrogated Nagumo with an icy bite in his voice.

"Where do you think? Kodo-san, of course." Nagumo replied as a malicious aura seemed to fall all around us. "Think of this as a courtesy gift. You'll want to drink that before you fight me."

"Is that so?" Souji asked as his own malicious grin bloomed on his face before he dropped the vile on the tatami mats below. "I don't need it to slice up your shitty ass." Then Souji lunged with his sword extended in front of him in a thrusting motion.

From my first observation, Souji immediately had the advantage. Souji was taller, stronger, and much more skilled than Nagumo, but it's not to say that Nagumo was a rollover. Nagumo was fast, despite not being as fast as Souji, and, as much as it pained to think this, Nagumo was smarter than Souji. From what I can tell, Nagumo already had something up his sleeve. He was doing nothing but blocking and dodging. He was allowing himself to be pushed back despite having the capability to push back against Souji. Why?

In an instant, blood spurted out of Nagumo as Souji's sword impaled his shoulder, but instead of a scream of pain there was hysterical laughter. Souji narrowed his eyes at Nagumo before twisting his sword in Nagumo's wound, but all there was…was laughter.

"What's this? So you're the type that gets high off of pain, is it?" Souji said without letting his own sadistic grin drop. "And here I thought that I was the craziest one around."

"You should have drank the Water of Life when you had the chance." Nagumo said ominously with a smug tone after his laughter died away. He leapt away, freeing himself from Souji's sword. "If you had, you would have been fast enough to stop this!"

The thing about swordfights is that everything is always moving. It wasn't surprising to start a sword fight and end up fifty feet from where it originally started and at a different angle. In the beginning of the fight I was standing protectively in front of Ryota and Chizuru-chan and while neither Ryota nor I have moved, the fight had moved to the left of us. Instead of standing protectively in front of Ryota, I was now to his right, leaving him fully exposed to danger.

Without waiting for the wound in his shoulder to fully regenerate, Nagumo lunged again, but not at Souji this time. Everything seemed to move faster than sound, and at the same time, move in slow motion. I could see every Nagumo leaping towards Ryota at full speed, ready to run Ryota through with his sword. I could see dread mixed with panic as Souji realized what had happened and realized there was no way he could move fast enough to stop or block Nagumo's attack.

Spurts of blood flew through the air as Nagumo's blade sliced through flesh.

This was when I came to understand the power and strength that could be found in a mother's love for her children. At a speed I thought was completely impossible for me, especially considering my condition, I found myself between Ryota and the blade. And because I was pregnant and believed in life at conception, because I already had a miscarriage once before, I would not let anything harm my two unborn children. Instead of just merely using myself as a human shield and letting myself get run through, my body instinctually reacted and I grabbed the blade with my bare hands, stopping it in place. My actions were enough to shock Nagumo enough into freezing, giving me the chance to get him away from me and my son. I tightened my grip on the blade of the sword, making the blade cut into my hands even more, before I yanked it from his hands and bludgeoned him across the side of his head with the handle, hitting him hard enough to knock him off his feet and to have the sword fly out of my grip and across the room.

Without wasting any time, Souji was immediately on Nagumo. Unfortunately, Nagumo didn't stay stunned for too long. Before Souji could stab Nagumo in the heart, Nagumo rolled away to evade the fatal blow before quickly rolling to his feet and grabbing his sword from where it had fallen in the room. As it looked like the fight was going to continue, several heavy sets of footsteps were heard running towards the room.

"Tch! Looks like the others have figured out what happened too. We'll finish this next time." Nagumo said before he turned around and fled out the door. "This isn't over!"

"W-Wait!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed, finally emerging from the stupor Nagumo put her in. She wrapped her hands around the handle of her kodachi and prepared to give chase, but was stopped as soon as she stepped outside of the room when a hand wrapped around her wrist.

"Huh? Hijikata-san?" Chizuru-chan asked in confusion when she saw the owner of the hand.

"Don't chase after him. You're no match for him." Hijikata-san said gruffly to Chizuru-chan before turning to the men behind him. "Saito! Shinpachi! After him! Harada! Heisuke! Secure our ground!"

The others were here now. Everything was going to be fine now. With all the adrenaline now gone from my body, I shakily sunk down to my knees as Ryota quickly rushed to me and clung to me. Ryota, too, was shaking so much that he couldn't even cry.

"Shizuka!" Souji exclaimed as he dropped his katana on the floor before rushing to my side, his knees sliding on the floor as he came to an abrupt stop. He grabbed my hands and examined them with wide eyes and in a panicked wreck. "Your hands!"

"I'm… I'm alright." I managed to say as I tried to calm my pounding heart. My hands didn't look too bad. There was a large single cut on the palms of both my hands that was deep and bleeding profusely, but it was only a superficial injury that would heal completely with time. "The cuts are superficial and the pain's not bad enough to cause my body to induce labor. The twins will be fine too."

Nagumo Kaoru… That last attack was a message to me. If I didn't want anyone I loved to be injured or killed then I would have to give myself up to him as the Higanbana. It felt like there was ice in my veins. Ryota, my son, was supposed to die right there if everything went according to Nagumo's plan. Ryota wasn't even three yet! He was too young for all of this!

Then, as it felt like there was ice in my veins, it felt as if my blood had turned into lava. Nagumo wanted to target my children? He wanted to target Chizuru-chan and my loved ones? Fine. Let him try. I'll kill him before he can lay his grimy paws on anyone.

"Shizuka. Ryota." Souji breathed out in both dread and relief as he engulfed both of us in a bone crushing hug.

I hugged Souji and Ryota back while saying nothing as I felt Souji's tears drip off his face and onto the back of my kimono.


	95. Chapter 92

This chapter was supposed to be longer, but I decided to cut it up into different chapters. There would be too much Itou otherwise. The next chapter should come soon...hopefully... On the bright side, half of chapter one of Saito's story is done. I'm still taking suggestions if anyone has any.

* * *

**Chapter 92**

"If getting drunk was how people forgot they were mortal, then hangovers were how they remembered." ― Matt Haig, _The Humans_

I frowned as I held the little kimono I was sewing up to the light. How was it that I could suture human skin and flesh perfectly while I often made the mistake of sewing cloth crookedly? Letting out another frustrated huff of annoyance at my own faults, I set the little kimono back down on my lap, or at least what I had left that could be considered a "lap", to prepare to undo the stitches so I could redo them again. However, the babies within me seemed to protest another long sitting session and gave me a swift kick, briefly leaving me breathless. It had been weeks, several weeks in fact, since Nagumo's attempted kidnapping. I guess it was to be expected that he wouldn't attack again so soon after the spectacular fail that occurred last time, but it was also making me uneasy. Just what was Nagumo planning now and would I be able to help repel the next attack if it came before I gave birth to the twins? What about the other oni? Now that I was thirty weeks along, if Nagumo or the other oni decided to come back, I would have to completely depend on the others since I was so far along. I mean, seriously, what could I do if the oni did reappear? Waddle up to them and ruthlessly bump into them?

Everyone also seemed to be on edge too after we repelled Nagumo. The guard seemed tighter and I was never left alone, if it could be helped. Even now, as I was sitting inside my bedroom preparing the babies' clothing, Saito-san was right outside the open door watching Ryota swing his little wooden sword around. Seriously, everything just seemed to have horrible timing. When everyone should have been worrying only about Itou, as he was no longer even hiding the fact he was trying to split off from the Shinsengumi, they were worrying about Nagumo coming back, and the other oni too.

"Ow! Stop it." I scolded the two unborn children with a harsh whisper as they delivered a few more kicks, particularly to my diaphragm. It seemed silly to try to scold them, seeing how they weren't even born yet, but the kicks were starting to hurt and I liked it better when I could breathe without interference.

"Shizuka?" Saito-san inquired as he stuck his head in the bedroom to check on me. "Is there anything amiss?"

"Ah, no." I answered Saito-san as I rubbed my belly in an attempt to soothe the twins before I jumped at the small kick one of them delivered to my diaphragm once more. "They just won't stop kicking and it's starting to hurt a bit."

"I see." Saito-san said as he watched Ryota dash into the room through the corner of his eye. It looked like Saito-san wanted to say more, but ended up saying, "I see the Vice Commander coming," they were probably going to switch off since now was about the time Saito-san usually trained the men, "I should be going."

"Okay." I said as I rubbed Ryota's back while he gleefully attached himself to my side. "Thank you for playing with Ryota."

"It was a pleasure." Saito-san replied as the corner of his lips twitched up slightly.

Sensing his playtime with his favorite uncle was coming to a close, Ryota briefly detached himself from my side to wave at Saito-san. "Bye bye." Ryota chirped before grabbing on to me again.

Saito-san small smile seemed to grow at the gesture and nodded to me before leaving. Saito-san nodded once more at Hijikata-san before leaving for the dojo, seemingly in higher spirits than he was before. Hijikata-san let himself into the bedroom after Saito-san left and planted his butt down on the floor across from me.

"So it's your turn to watch me?" I asked Hijikata-san just as I resumed my sewing. I wanted to finish this kimono before I had to head out with Souji tonight.

"I'm just taking a break from my work, like you suggested." Hijikata-san denied before he even blamed my advice for the reason he was here. I snorted at his excuse to let him know that I didn't believe him.

"Ryota." I said briefly pausing my work to address my son. "You should be greeting your oji-san, right? It's good to be polite like you were to Hajime-oji-san."

Ryota nodded at my words, but he instead sat down next to me and uttered the words, "Hijibaka-oji-san[1]."

Wait… What?

I dropped the needle and kimono on my lap in shock at what Ryota said while a vein popped out of Hijikata-san's forehead. That was appalling! Just where did Ryota hear that? Here I was trying to raise Ryota to be polite and respectful, and he utters out THAT?!

"Ryota!" I quickly admonished Ryota, but that seemed to have little effect. Ryota just continued sitting next to me while looking smug, like he knew he accomplished something.

"Ho?" Hijikata-san said, gritting his teeth in annoyance as the vein on his forehead seemed to twitch with his anger. "You want to repeat that again, you little brat?"

"Hijibaka-oji-san!"

"You brat!" Hijikata-san growled at Ryota as Ryota continued to beam at him before Hijikata-san probably decided it would be better if he got me involved. "Shizuka!"

"Sorry!" I quickly apologized while bowing my head at Hijikata-san. "I have no idea where he heard that and I certainly didn't teach him to say that."

"I don't need to guess to know that it's Souji's fault!" Hijikata-san snapped, instantly accusing Souji without any proof. Though, proof probably wasn't needed in this case. This just seemed like something Souji would do. "Only he would do something like this!"

"Sorry!" I swiftly apologized again before turning to Ryota. "Ryota, did your otou-san teach you that?"

Ryota merely nodded with a proud grin on his small face, instantly inducing a headache. Why Souji, why?

"Don't use that nickname again, okay? It's a bad nickname." I softly scolded Ryota in hopes of making him understand, but…

Ryota shook his head at me and chirped, "Tou-san teach me! Tou-san! Tou-san!"

I hung my head in defeat. It was too late to undo the damage, huh? I raised my head to shoot an apologizing glance at Hijikata-san.

"I swear I didn't know that Souji taught Ryota that. I promise you that these two," I said as I rest my hands on my belly, "won't call you that."

Hijikata-san let out a tired sounding sigh before looking wearily at prideful Ryota through the corner of his eye. "It's fine. I should have known that Souji would do something like that. Just keep a closer eye on your next two. I swear, if those two end up exactly like Souji too then I just might gut myself." he said while looking resigned to his fate.

I nodded at Hijikata-san before shooting Ryota a look, causing him to flinch a bit. We WILL be talking about this later, Souji too.

"So," Hijikata-san spoke up again, seemingly satisfied at seeing Ryota flinch under my stern gaze, "how are you feeling now?"

Did he have to ask that? I had just gotten my mind off the discomforts of pregnancy and he had to pull my attention back on to that? The constant kicking and stretching of the babies caused dagger-like pains in my cervix. Seriously, just why the hell was this symptom of pregnancy called fancy daggers? There was nothing fancy about the stabbing feeling! Actually, was it called fancy daggers or fanny daggers? Oh, I don't care anymore! It just hurts!

"Gee thanks! Thanks for reminding me how distinctly uncomfortable this pregnancy is." I muttered under my breath to myself in the most sarcastic tone I could manage before I actually answered Hijikata-san. "This pregnancy is the most uncomfortable thing in the world. I feel like a bloated whale, my ankles are so swollen that they look nonexistent, I can't sleep at night because the babies are so active, it hurts when the babies kick and stretch, I always have to pee, the pressure I feel in my pelvis is almost unbearable, and I miss being able to breathe normally. Let's see, did I miss anything else?"

Hijikata-san raised his eyebrow at my longwinded answer. I bet he wasn't expecting to hear all of that. I bet all he was expecting to hear was, "I'm fine." Nope! I'm so ready to be done with this pregnancy. This pregnancy makes my pregnancy with Ryota seem like it was an evening stroll at a park.

I let out a deep breath when I finished my answer, placing the kimono and sewing kit off to the side before grabbing the large body pillow I had made earlier. I hugged the pillow tightly before tipping over onto my side onto the floor in silence. Now that Hijikata-san reminded me of how distinctly uncomfortable my pregnancy was, I felt done for the day. Everybody leave me alone to DIE in peace.

Okay, that was a bit dramatic, I'll admit, but it doesn't change how I feel.

"Okaa-san?" Ryota seemed to chirp in confusion at my strange behavior and even poked me a few times in hopes of enticing a reaction out of me, but all that really made me do was burry my face into the pillow even more. When it became clear that all I was going to do was lay there, Ryota seemed to start to glare at Hijikata-san accusingly. "Bad Hijibaka-oji-san! Bad! Broke Okaa-san!"

"Hah? Just what the hell is that supposed to mean, you brat! This is your fault too!"

"Bad Hijibaka-oji-san!"

"Oi! Listen to your okaa-san and stop calling me 'Hijibaka-oji-san'!"

"Hijibaka-oji-san!"

"Ryota…" Hijikata-san growled before I heard him slap his own forehead in frustration.

He seemed to give up on trying to change Ryota's mind for now and scooted a bit closer to me so he could pry my hands from the pillow. He flipped my hands over so he could examine the palms of my hand, lightly tracing the pale scars left on my hands from Nagumo's sword. The cuts left by the sword had healed well, but they did leave to faint scars behind. I personally didn't think the scars were too visible, just two pale lines on my palms, but everyone else didn't seem to think so. Souji especially kept rubbing oils into my hands in an attempt to make the scars disappear, and when I pointed out that the scars weren't too visible and that the callus on my hands were actually more visible, Souji resumed rubbing oils into my hands with more fervor. I think he was trying to rub the calluses off at that point too.

"It's fine." I mumbled into the pillow as a reply to Hijikata-san's action before I smiled when I felt Ryota's little hands on my back. Ryota must have been trying to copy his father. Souji had always rubbed my back whenever I had an off day. "What's with men and your 'women should have soft hands' belief'?"

Hijikata-san sighed as he put down my hands. "Women should be sheltered and well taken care of." he answered as he plucked my kanzashi out of my hair and laid it on the floor next to me before undoing my hair so he could soothingly run his hands through my hair. "And here you are, collecting scars all over your hands."

Of course I had to snort at Hijikata-san's answer. I lifted my head from the pillow to peek up at Hijikata-san.

"If I don't take care of you stupid men, then who will?" I answered before burying my face back into the soft pillow. "And mind you, some of these small scars on my hands came from my so-called 'womanly' duties. Like the small one on my left index finger? That one is from when I cut myself on accident while cutting some bamboo shoots for dinner."

Hijikata-san seemed to chuckle at my answer before growing silent for a short few minutes, causing me to lift my head again to stare at him. Just what was he thinking about now?

"When do you think Itou-san will make his move?" Hijikata-san finally asked, completely changing the subject. Although, from the look on his face, he seemed to be thinking about that for a while now.

"Soon." I merely answered. "I know that Itou has already approached all the captains about defecting with him. Well, most." Itou seemed to take great care to avoid Souji, and now, me too. I get that Itou knows that Souji is completely loyal to the Shinsengumi, but that didn't really tell me why Itou was taking so much effort to avoid Souji. Although, I believe it might have something to do with the abrupt haircut Itou seemed to sport a few months back. "Though, I am worried about Heisuke and Saito-san. Both of them seemed to be spending an abnormal amount of time with Itou."

Hijikata-san nodded absentmindedly at my answer before I groaned again and hugged the pillow closer to my body. Stop kicking me, dammit! It hurts!

"Shizuka?"

"I'm done." I whined in the most pathetic manner possible with tears in my eyes, raising the pity factor. "The babies won't stop kicking me and it hurts. Ow…"

"Well, they ARE Souji's spawn…"

"And what's that supposed to mean?!" The sound of a slap echoed through the air.

"OW! Don't hit me, woman!"

"Exactly what she said." Souji interrupted with his hands behind his head as his fingers worked to untie his forehead guard as he arrived in front of the bedroom door. "What about the babies being my 'spawn'? That's a rude way to put it, don't you think?"

Hijikata-san opened his mouth to retort to Souji, but Ryota cut him off by leaping to his feet and scurrying to Souji all while saying, "Tou-san!"

"Good to see you too, kiddo." Souji said while ruffling Ryota's hair. "Were you good for Okaa-san and Hajime-oji-san?"

"Why the hell am I not included?!" Hijikata-san barked at Souji in irritation, causing Souji to grin mischievously.

"Isn't it obvious? Hijibaka-san doesn't count."

"Bastard! So it was you who taught Ryota that ridiculous nickname! Fix it!"

"But there's nothing to fix. Right, Ryota?"

"Um!" Ryota chirped with a nod while hanging off of Souji's hakama.

"Dammit! Don't agree with him, Ryota!" Hijikata-san growled once more in annoyance and before he could open his mouth to say another word, Ryota interrupted Hijikata-san all while pointing at him in an accusing manner.

"Tou-san, Hijibaka-oji-san broke Okaa-san." Ryota said innocently while tugging on Souji's hakama.

"Wha—?" Hijikata-san blabbered as his mouth fell open in disbelief. He growled in disbelief once again while clutching his forehead like he was in pain. "Of all the stupid—! That's it! You're on your own when it comes to dealing with them, Shizuka!" he said before getting to his feet and stomping out of the room all while grumbling, "I don't even know why I try to help anymore."

"Bye bye, Hijibaka-oji-san!" Ryota called after Hijikata-san stomped away, causing another outburst from said man.

"It's HIJIKATA, HIJIKATA-OJI-SAN! Not HIJIBAKA! Dammit!"

"Don't you two think you've tortured him enough?" I finally spoke up as I lifted my head to look at my two boys.  
"And Souji, did you really have to tell Ryota to call Hijikata-san Hijibaka?"

"Why not?" Souji said with a carefree shrug as he allowed Ryota to pull him towards where I was laying on the floor. "Ryota and I were bonding over it, so it's a good thing. How are you feeling right now?"

"They won't stop moving and it hurts." I whined pathetically to Souji before wailing, "And I'm the size of a whale!"

"It'll be fine." Souji said with a chuckle as he rubbed my belly when he heard little sniffling sounds coming from me. "Just a few more weeks and we'll be able to hold the twins in our arms."

"You know, for the record, Hijikata-oji-san didn't break me." I mumbled to Ryota a few seconds later as I allowed Souji to continue to rub circles into my belly. It seemed to soothe the babies into not kicking so much. "It's completely your otou-san's fault that I'm I feel so much discomfort right now."

"Of course it is." Souji said with an unmistakable, proud-looking grin on his face. "It's not shameful to get my own wife pregnant. If it were Hijikata-san's fault, then there wouldn't be enough of him left to burry."

* * *

"Ready to go?" Souji asked as he helped me shrug on a haori.

Now that it was evening, Souji was going to take Ryota and me out on a "family dinner". That was actually just a cover for where we were actually going. With Itou being so shifty and convincing Shinsengumi members to join him when he leaves, it was unsafe to discuss certain things within the compound. Souji was needed at a meeting offsite at Shimabara with Sano-san, Shinpachi-san, and Hijikata-san. So in order to convince people that Souji wasn't going off to do something that needed to be spied on, Souji was taking me and Ryota along; although, Ryota was actually just going to get dropped off at Kenji-san's and Kyoko-chan's place for the night.

"Yeah, I'm ready." I replied.

Souji nodded at me and swooped down to pick up Ryota before we were off. Ryota was then quickly dropped off without much fuss and it didn't take long to get down to Shimabara. The place for the secret meeting was up in Sumiya. Thankfully, I had pulled enough favors for the geisha to have them let me in without a fuss. At this point, I don't think the geisha even cared I wasn't technically supposed to be allowed in. By the time me and Souji had gotten up to the meeting room, Sano-san and Shinpachi-san were already waiting for us and only Hijikata-san was missing.

"Yo!" Shinpachi-san called out to me and Souji as we opened the door to the room with a cheery salute before he knocked back a small cup of saké.

"No trouble getting in, right?" Sano-san asked right after Shinpachi-san's greeting. "You guys weren't followed?"

"Not a chance." Souji answered before ushering me into the room so he could shut the door. Souji pulled me close to him, so our thighs were touching, as we sat down. "Itou-san won't waste any men on following us because he thinks I took Shizuka and Ryota out to eat dinner."

"Though, if Itou knew how I felt right now then he would know something was up." I commented afterwards. Going out to eat while feeling the discomforts of pregnancy? No thanks. I would rather stay at home and gorge on something sweet while lying in bed right now.

"But no, thankfully Itou-san is an idiot in this aspect, yes?" Souji added in all too gleefully. I bet he was waiting for a chance to call Itou an idiot.

"Now we're just waiting on Hijikata-san." Shinpachi-san said before taking another gulp of alcohol, causing Sano-san to whack him.

"Idiot! Don't get drunk before the meeting starts!"

"Ouch! Sano! You didn't have to hit me so hard! And I don't get drunk so easily!"

Just then, amidst Sano-san and Shinpachi-san's little argument, the door opened to reveal Hijikata-san with Chizuru-chan meekly trailing behind him.

"Tell me Itou-san didn't spot you four leaving." Hijikata-san said immediately, before he even stepped into the room. There was a certain urgency to his tone that suggested that he was eager to get this meeting underway to find a solution for what was Itou. Stepping in first, Hijikata-san took his seat to complete the circle as he had Chizuru-chan close the door behind him. She then sat behind Hijikata-san, far enough to not seem rude and close enough to be included in whatever we were about to say.

"Yeah, we're good." Shinpachi-san answered first with a confident grin before putting down the empty saké flask in his hands.

"We just told everybody we were heading off to Shimabara for a little fun, just like we always do." Sano-san added after Shinpachi-san. "And it looks like Souji and Shizuka had no problems avoiding any suspicion too."

"After all," Souji chimed in to say his part, "why would Itou-san waste time spying on me when I'm taking my family out for 'dinner'?"

The grin on Shinpachi-san's face then slid off as he took in Hijikata-san's seriousness and Chizuru-chan's expression of confusion. "What about you, though?" he then asked. Hijikata-san was the one Itou had to be the most weary about, after all. "Won't he suspect something?"

Hijikata-san then grinned himself, as if he was proud of himself for outsmarting a raccoon dog, before flipping his thumb back to point at Chizuru-chan while saying, "Why do you think I brought her? Only an idiot would think I was bringing this kid to a secret meeting."

At Hijikata-san's answer, Chizuru-chan looked offended for a brief moment, but she didn't say anything. After what seemed like an internal debate within her head, she finally sagged in defeat while giving me a rather pitiful look. What Hijikata-san said was true, but it just wasn't exactly said in the nicest of ways. No one in the Shinsengumi was less connected to politics than Chizuru-chan was, therefore making her an excellent smokescreen.

Then when it seemed like Chizuru-chan was just going to remain quiet, she spoke up in a meek but eager-to-help voice. "Um…what should I do…?"

Hijikata-san turned to Chizuru-chan and narrowed his eyes sharply at her, causing her to shrink back into her clothing. "Forget everything you see and hear here. Good?" he said in a demanding tone, probably making Chizuru-chan want to shrink some more.

"Y-Yes!" Chizuru-chan squeaked out a quick answer while nodding in haste. I couldn't really blame her for reacting the way she did to Hijikata-san. The way that his eyes narrowed on her said that any other answer from her would have been…frowned on.

After getting what seemed to be a satisfactory answer from Chizuru-chan, Hijikata-san turned back around to face me and the others. "All right, report." he then said. "What did Itou-san want to talk about? Bastard was in Shimabara for three whole days."

Ah yes, near the beginning of the year, just before the whole kidnapping fiasco involving Nagumo, Itou had taken Shinpachi-san and Saito-san to Shimabara, and stayed for several days. Everyone had thought it was exceedingly strange and possibly inappropriate, but Itou's position as colonel had made it impossible to criticize or question him openly. While I'm sure Hijikata-san and the others wanted to deal with the situation right away, but because of what happened with Nagumo, everything had become delayed. Itou must be several steps ahead of us now. Not good

"Well." Shinpachi-san began to answer while crossing his arms. Any hint of cheerfulness had evaporated of his face in an instant. "I'm guessing Saito already told you most of it? Anyway, he was trying to recruit us. He kept asking us stuff like if we didn't like how the Shinsengumi was doing things, or how if the Shogunate couldn't get with the nationalist program it was on the way out."

"Gotta admit," Sano-san said, speaking up while keeping his eyes trained to the floor in front of him, "It really takes some balls to just up and ask the captains of the Shinsengumi if they want to switch sides."

Yes, it did take some "balls" as Sano-san did say, but there was also something seriously wrong with the Shinsengumi if all we could do was sit here and twiddle our fingers while Itou could openly talk about splitting up the Shinsengumi. Itou wasn't just overly gutsy, but he had timing. While Nagumo occupied the minds of the higher ups, Itou was hard at work on his rapport and was cashing in on it now.

"Not all." Souji grumbled from next to me. He hated Itou still, but he probably couldn't help but feel offended that he hadn't even been approached once. "The bastard hasn't even come near me…"

"It's not hard to guess why." Shinpachi-san snorted before eyeing Souji's katana wearily. "There's no point talking to you when there's no way you'll change sides. Plus, that haircut of his from all that time back… He's not interested in gettin' himself killed before he makes his move."

"True enough." Hijikata-san answered before gripping the cloth of his hakama tightly with a pensive look on his face. "But Itou-san isn't even trying to hide it anymore…" he said before turning to Shinpachi-san. "What did you say?"

"I let him wine and dine me for three days, but in the end I just told him hanging out with his guys wasn't any fun, and he got about as red as I've ever seen anyone get."

"Sorry you have to put up with all this cloak-and-dagger idiocy." Hijikata-san replied in response. Hijikata-san was grateful for Shinpachi-san's answer, but he was no way happy at what the answer had implied. Itou-san as getting too bold.

Shinpachi-san grinned at Hijikata-san, no doubt about to say something to cheer Hijikata-san up. "Ha ha. Nah, don't sweat it. I got three days of free food and booze. You won't see me complaining."

"The ball's in your court now, Hijikata-san." Sano-san said. "You've got something up your sleeve, right?"

"Why even bother with that?" Souji answered instead. "Just kill the bastard. Problem over."

"Or one problem over and a billion new ones stemming from Itou's death." I said, shooting Souji a reprimanding look, but he didn't seem to mind it one bit. "So, Hijikata-san?"

"Yeah, I got a plan." Hijikata-san said, a small confident smile returned on his lips. "All right, we're done here. Go ahead and drink all you want. Don't worry about curfew tonight."

Sano-san seemed a bit surprised at Hijikata-san's answer and swiftly grabbed Hijikata-san as he was getting to his feet. "Whoa. Don't tell me you're just going to head back?" Sano-san said while looking at Hijikata-san with a hint of disappointment after the initial surprise.

"Hey, hey, hey, hold on!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed in excitement, I mean, how often was it that Hijikata-san told people to go to Shimabara without a curfew. "We're all equals today, right? Chizuru-chan! Go get us some saké!"

"What?" said girl stammered in surprise at the sudden change of events, even looking to me for an okay. "R-Really?"

"Oi! I'm not here to drink!" Hijikata-san instantly protested as he attempt to get up again, but was stopped by Souji this time.

"Then you're not thinking this through!" Sano-san joined in on Shinpachi-san's excitement. "How suspicious is it going to be if a bunch of guys meet up in Shimabara and then just leave without sharing a few drinks?"

"That's right!" Souji joined in. Although, while the two others were just excited at the prospect of getting Hijikata-san to drink with them, Souji's impish smile on his face and the wink he gave me told me that Souji was planning on something else. Well, Hijikata-san WAS a terrible drunk when he did drink. He couldn't hold his alcohol well and when he was drunk, he would be all aggressive and emotional at the same time. "You especially have to drink for me because I definitely can't stay long. I need to pick up Ryota and take Shizuka home to rest."

"Hm. You have a point." Hijikata-san said as he settled down back in his seat. "Fine. Only a little, though. Got it?"

"Sure, sure. Let's get started!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed, his excitement from before growing tenfold. "Chizuru-chan! Go get us a couple bottles!"

"And make sure that when you pour saké for Hijikata-san that you give a generous amount. He does need to relax." Souji said with a sly grin as he got to his feet before giving me a hand. "I, on the other hand, should get Shizuka home. Keep an eye on Hijikata-san for me, okay?"

"Oi! I don't need someone to watch out for me!" Hijikata-san instantly protested…to deaf ears.

"Okay!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed with a cheery determination as Souji escorted me out the door. She was going to do her job well, wasn't she?

As soon as me and Souji were back outside on the streets, heading back to pick up Ryota, I snuck a peek at Souji. He seemed excited as ever and even a bit proud. So I see.

"So," I commented, "planning to set a drunk Hijikata-san on Chizuru-chan?"

"Hmm?" Souji said with faux innocence. "All I'm doing is making sure Hijikata-san gets to relax under supervision."

Of course he was, and I was Santa Claus.

The next morning it wasn't all too surprising to see a red-faced Hijikata-san slinking into my room when Souji was gone for patrol. He keep staring at the floor as he sat down beside me, refusing to meet my eyes even when he had sat down. Really, he didn't have to say anything for me to know what had happened last night. He had probably blurted out all of his thoughts and feelings to Chizuru-chan since she was left taking care of his drunk ass after the two other men left.

"So, you need something for a hangover?" I asked him. He was clutching his forehead like he was being plagued by a migraine.

"Something like that…" he muttered with a wince as he clutched his forehead tighter.

And then Ryota said what we were all probably thinking at this point. "Hijibaka-oji-san!"

This time, Hijikata-san didn't even bother to complain about the nickname. Ah, how the mighty had fallen. Hijikata-san turned even redder at Ryota's nickname. I can imagine Hijikata-san calling himself an idiot in his own head.

"Ah, don't worry so much about what happened last night. It was eventually going to happen anyways." I said as I tried to reassure Hijikata-san.

"That doesn't make me feel any better!" he exclaimed with more force he should have used before wincing once more and clutching his head. "Ow, ow, ow, ow…"

"I would suggest you don't yell for the rest of the day if your hangover really does suck that much." I said before grinning wickedly. "And if you asked Shinpachi-san and Sano-san about the many times they've come to me looking for a cure to their hangovers then you would know that no such cure exist. Have fun waiting for that hangover to clear up."

I wonder what Hijikata-san blurted out to Chizuru-chan? I'll ask her later for the details. It must have been good since she was all giggles and smiles this morning while Hijikata-san couldn't even look her in the face.

* * *

[1] Nickname was pulled from Runa Rose Dempsey's fanfiction, _Fruits of Your Labors: Reborn_. I recommend you go read it if you are looking for a good AU fanfiction for SSL.


	96. Chapter 93

Happy New Year!

* * *

**Chapter 93**

"What is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? It's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies." ― Jack Kerouac, _On the Road_

When I awoke in the middle of the night, it felt like something was amiss. Like there was an invisible screw missing from a well-oiled machine. But whatever was wrong was silent as an eerie shiver made itself up my spine in a slow prickling crawl. There was something dark, heavy, and foreboding in the air and the moment I felt the empty spot behind me, I knew Souji must have felt it too. His empty spot was lukewarm as the blanket and my body heat struggled to keep his vacant spot warm. There was the chance he had left to go quench his thirst or to use the facilities, but his vacant spot held too little warmth for him to have merely left to take care of his bodily needs. He had already been out of bed for some time.

"Mmmnn…" Ryota seemed to murmur in his sleep as he snuggled closer to me, completely unaware of foreboding atmosphere.

I brushed his cheek with the knuckle of my left index finger in a light feather touch as to not disturb him in his peaceful sleep. A quiet sigh and the wrinkle of cloth sounded from a spot near the desk as my fingers left Ryota's soft cheek. Those sounds did not belong to Souji. Those sounds were too loud for this time of night and lacked the certain weight that were always found in his actions. With a subtle slight turn of my head, I caught a glimpse of Inoue-san sitting against the desk and staring at the closed bedroom door with a look of concern written on his brow. Of course, I should have known that Souji wasn't going to leave me and Ryota unsupervised, especially with heavy feel of the atmosphere. I flipped onto my opposite side to face Inoue-san, and to let him know I was awake now by flashing a friendly welcoming smile his way.

"Ah, Shizuka-chan you're awake? Sorry, was I being a bit loud?" Inoue-san asked, loud enough not to speak in a whisper but quiet enough not to disturb Ryota. The concerned creases on his forehead softened as he gave me an apologetic look.

My lips twitched upwards slightly at Inoue-san's concern for me. Inoue-san always did treat me like his niece even before Souji and I got married. However, he was now technically family through marriage. He was originally related to Souji through marriage, and now that I was Souji's wife, Inoue-san and I were also related by marriage.

"No, you weren't." I said to ease his mind. I didn't want him to feel guilty because he believed he accidently woke me up. "Something just wasn't feeling right, that's all."

"Not feeling right?" Inoue-san parroted after me before frowning and scooting towards me until he was next to me. He placed a hand on my belly while looking to me for any signs of discomfort. "It's not the babies, is it? Carrying multiples IS known to be hard on a woman's body…"

"No, they're fine. It's just the air feels heavy. What happened?"

Inoue-san looked away at my question, guilt crawling up his neck as he undoubtedly was questioned if he should tell me considering my "fragile" state.

"Inoue-san," I spoke up as he remained quiet, "I'm pregnant, not mentally unstable. The world won't blow up if you tell me what happened."

"True, but Souji specifically told me not answer that type of question. Worrying about these things isn't healthy for a pregnant woman that's so far along."

I really wanted to retort with, "And keeping me guessing isn't good for YOUR health." But if I did that then it would feel like I was begging to get caned. And it was Inoue-san. He was just so nice all the time that anybody would be an instant asshole if he or she was rude to him.

"But I'll keep worrying if I don't know what's going on." I answered with instead. Maybe I can reason my way through this. "You know I'm the type of person that will keep worrying if I don't know what is going on. By not telling me everything, you're actually getting the opposite effect of what you want."

Inoue-san frowned at my answer and let out a resigned sounding, "I told Souji that this wouldn't work…" before deciding that my reasoning was sound. "Some rasetsu broke out of confinement earlier. We've managed to keep them from escaping headquarters and cut most of them down, but there is still one rasetsu missing."

"A rasetsu is still on the loose in base?!" I couldn't help but yelp louder than I was supposed to as sprung into sitting position like a spring.

Not good. Not good. Anyone caught unaware by the rasetsu would be dead for sure, and if the rasetsu wasn't dealt with now then the Shinsengumi's darkest secret would be out for sure. Itou already made it very clear that that he was going to leave the Shinsengumi and that he wanted it to crumble to ruin. If Itou found out about the rasetsu and the Water of Life then the damage would be unrepairable. Well, unless the rasetsu killed Itou before it was dealt with, but still, not good. The aftermath would be messy.

"Shizuka-chan, calm down." Inoue-san said as he placed both his hands on my shoulders to keep me from leaping to my feet. Though, he didn't need to do that anyways… It's not like I could jump to my feet as easily anymore. On most days, I needed someone to help pull me up. "Everyone is working right now to capture that missing rasetsu. You know they have never failed before. They won't start failing now."

"I know… It's just…" I started to say before cutting myself off when I felt small hands kneeding my lap.

Ryota, who was snoozing away peacefully earlier, was now looking at me with that spectacular peeved look that was often found on Souji's face when I did something…stupid. Ryota frowned at me before puffing his cheeks up in a displeased pout. Hearing me suddenly go silent, he seemed to understand that I got the message that he was absolutely not pleased about being rudely awakened.

"Okaa-san, loud." Ryota grumbled while giving me a pointed look. Just how did someone so young managed to make that face and make it so eerily similar to his father's? Then doing what his father would typically, Ryota draped himself over my lap, or at least he tried but ended up settling for placing his chin on my knee, and began kicking his legs up and down in a childish manner.

"Oh. Sorry, Ryota." I apologized to him. All he did was beam up at me before he frowned again when he realized his father's spot was vacant.

"Tou-san?" he asked as he pointed his little finger at the empty spot. Then blinking a few times, he seemed to realize we weren't alone and waved sweetly to Inoue-san, causing a lighthearted chuckle fill the room from said man.

"Otou-san had to work." I replied as I rubbed small circles into his back as he continued to playfully kick his feet up and down.

"No?" Ryota answered back, trying to sound sure of his answer before his voice cracked and turned his answer into a question.

Well, he was use to his father working at night, but whenever Souji had a nightshift, he would never be around when it was Ryota's bedtime. The fact that Souji tucked Ryota into bed earlier indicated to Ryota that it was strange that his father was missing. His father wasn't supposed to be working tonight, but at the same time I had told him that Souji was. Poor little Ryota must have been so confused.

Inoue-san chuckled once more at the tone of Ryota's face before reaching over and ruffling his hair. "Something came up so your otou-san had to go." Inoue-san explained to Ryota, but that seemed to make Ryota more sure of his previous answer.

"Tou-san no work tonight." Ryota insisted as he sat up to argue with Inoue-san. "Tou-san go bed with me."

"Ah, but unexpected thing can come up, yes?"

"No." Ryota insisted once more. He was sure HE was correct and everyone else was confused.

"Ryota?" I called Ryota. We'd get nowhere if I let Inoue-san explain when Ryota was so sure Inoue-san was wrong. "You know how Hijikata-oji-san sometimes works at night when he's not supposed to? It's because Hijikata-oji-san has to finish something fast. That's what Otou-san is doing right now."

"Oh…" Ryota said with his mouth in a small o-shape before suddenly looking very upset. The next words out of his mouth were, "Bad Hijibaka-oji-san! Hijibaka-oji-san fault! Make Tou-san work! Bad!"

Err… I swear that wasn't supposed to happen…? How did everything always end up as Hijikata-san's fault in Ryota's eyes? Clearly Souji's influence and not mine.

"No Ryota. Not Hijikata-oji-san's fault. You can't blame him for everything every time you get upset." I tried to tell Ryota, but it was clear he was not listening anymore at this point. I sighed before smacking my own forehead with the palm of my hand. "God… Why is it that THIS always happens?"

"It's just Ryota-kun's way of show Toshi-san his affection." Inoue-san reasoned with a smile, but I knew for sure that was NOT the case. Just how did Hijikata-san get turned into Ryota's scapegoat too?

Ryota bit his lip before he jumped to his feet, surprising me and Inoue-san with his sudden action. He seemed to look around the room once more, as if to make sure that his vision wasn't wrong about his father not being in the room, before turning to me and Inoue-san with a strong determination.

"I go find Tou-san." little Ryota declared before preparing to march off.

Oh! No, no, no! That was a really bad idea right now, especially if there was a rasetsu loose in headquarters. I can't even begin to count the number of ways that could go wrong. Before Ryota could step off the futon, I swiftly snatched his arm before pulling him back down on my lap. He's not going anywhere before I'm sure that loose rasetsu is either locked down or dead.

"Okaa-san!" Ryota complained with a small scowl before growing sheepish and a bit shy at the scolding look I shot down at him. He looked down at the blanket and drew circles on it with his little finger, a little blush sat on his cheeks.

"Ryota, just be patient." I said with a small sigh after he settled down as I ran my fingers through his reddish-brown hair. "Otou-san will be back soo—"

"J-Just w-what is g-going on!" Itou's voice suddenly floated down the empty hallway outside, interrupting what I was going to say to Ryota. It seemed to be a combination of shock, terror, anger combined into one demanding, but quivering tone. "Kondou-san, I-I demand to k-know what is g-going on!"

"Mah, mah, mah. Itou-san, it's late and while I'm sure you would like me to explain to you, we could all use some rest first." Otou-san's voice floated through the closed door after Itou.

What happened? I got on my feet as soon as possible…actually, it was more like Inoue-san helped pulling me to my feet… Anyways, back to business. I tiptoed to the door, as not to make any noise to attract outside attention. Poking my head out the door, I saw Otou-san with a single hand on Itou's back as he did his best to escort Itou away. Itou, on the other hand, looked like he had seen a ghost.

"Kondou-san! What is this barbaric behavior?! Are all the men allowed to cut down their own comrades without consequences?!" Itou demanded as he spun around to face Otou-san in the empty, dark hall. "And the man that was killed, did he not 'supposedly' commit seppuku for breaking the Code of Conduct months ago?! Why was he still alive until tonight?! And his hair color?! That is not natural! As an elite officer, why was I not told of recent developments?! What else are you keeping from me?!"

At Itou's barrage of questions, Otou-san seemed trapped between a rock and a hard place. He didn't seem to know how to answer Itou and focused his eyes on the ground. As Otou-san was raising his head to speak, Sannan-san appeared and approached the two men from behind all while sparing me a discreet look that told me that I should shut the door and remain out of sight before Otou-san and Itou noticed me. Of course, when I didn't do as Sannan-san "suggested", he paused his approach in front of me before affectionately ruffling my hair… Then he pushed my head back into the room with a rough two-fingered jab to my forehead and shut the door.

"Stay out of sight." Sannan-san whispered discreetly through my door, making sure not to alert Itou and Otou-san. "This is going to be a messy clean up and you shouldn't get too involved. Leave this job to the captains. Yukimura-kun will be coming in a few minutes. Have some bandages ready."

Bandages?

After Sannan-san finished addressing me, he cleared his throat to capture both Itou's and Otou-san's attention.

"While I am sure you would like some answers now, Itou-san, it is not pertinent to discuss this matter in the hall. Now, if you would follow me, Kondou-san and I will tell you what you want to know in privacy." Sannan-san said to the two men in the hallway before I heard the footsteps of him leading them away.

"Okaa-san?" Ryota chirped questioningly behind me before he came up to me so he could tug on the bottom of my sleeping robe.

Inoue-san, on the other hand, had started to look grim the moment he heard the barrage of questions Itou had thrown at Otou-san.

"This is troubling." Inoue-san said as he walk over to where I was standing and put his hand on the door. "It sounds like the last one was dealt with, but not quietly." Best not say the word "rasetsu" around Ryota while he's awake. He was at the age where he liked to repeat everything he heard. There was a reason why "bastard" was now a permanent part of his vocabulary, by curtesy of Hijikata-san. "Itou-san knows our secret. The others might need me to help make somethings 'disappear'. Now that the last one is taken care of, it should be safe enough to leave you and Ryota alone. Go back to bed." With that, Inoue-san gave me a gentle shove back towards the futon before exiting the room to find the other captains.

Despite what Inoue-san said, bed could wait for me. Sannan-san did say something about getting some bandages ready. Ryota, on the other hand, could go back to bed now. Though, I couldn't help but wonder how I missed the ruckus caused by the rasetsu. Did I sleep through the loud sounds or was it because I was distracted by the little debate I was having with Ryota earlier?

"Come on, Ryota. Time to go back to bed."

And of course, there was the shake of the head that I didn't want to deal with right now. Sure, it was accompanied by large puppy-dog-eyes and a sweet, beaming face. But too cute or not, Ryota really should be sleeping.

"Ryota." I repeated sternly, but all that really resulted in was Ryota tugging on my sleeping robe some more before he hugged my legs.

"Okaa-san, I go find Tou-san now?" he asked.

"No, go back to bed. Otou-san will be working all of tonight." to clean up the rasetsu mess went unsaid.

Seeing that his too-cute-to-resist face wasn't working, Ryota let his innocent face drop as he made a show of crossing his arms and pouting while glaring at the floor. But in the end, he listened to me and marched back to the futon. He then ducked under his blanket and refused to look at me as he sulked. Geez, I just only hope that attitude won't last until morning. Now that he was back in bed, I went to the cabinet where I kept all my medical supplies. As I was fumbling around in the cabinet, seeing how I really should have lit a lantern first, a voice called through the closed doors.

"S-Shizuka-chan?" I heard Chizuru-chan stutter through the closed doors. She sounded distinctly uncomfortable and a little shaken up.

"Come in." I answered as I put a pause on looking for the bandages in favor of lighting a lantern.

Chizuru-chan slid the door open just enough to squeeze through before she quickly closed the door again. She was acting like she was afraid she would get seen by the other people. One of her hands was covering what looked like to be a very bloody patch on the opposite upper arm. An injury. She must have been attacked by the rasetsu.

"Chizuru-chan!" I couldn't help exclaim at the sight of blood. I knew she was probably coming in injured because of what Sannan-san said, but that didn't stop me from being shocked at the amount of blood I could see coming from the injury.

Then Ryota, who was still apparently very upset with me, complained rather loudly without turning to face me. "Okaa-san, loud! I sleeping!"

Oops. Toning down my voice, I waved Chizuru-chan over near the desk as I continued to dig through the cabinet for the bandages. Chizuru-chan silently went to go sit by the desk. Her eyes were drawn to the deep looking cut on her arm. Her eyes then seemed to widen before she quickly covered the cut with her hands again. There was fear leaking from the pores of her body.

"What is it?" I asked as I came to sit beside her with a roll of bandages in my hand.

"N-Nothing." Chizuru-chan quickly lied before trying to take the bandages from me with her other hand. "I can take care of my own injuries. S-Sorry for bothering you."

"Chizuru-chan, you're not being a bother. Now let's see that injury." I said before I had to use force to pry her hands off her wound, and the moment that I did, I understood why she seemed so fearful earlier. Her cut, which I was sure was deep enough to hit bone was already starting to disappear under my very eyes as her flesh knit together.

It was always so easy to forget that Chizuru-chan wasn't actually a human, but an oni. While we all knew that Chizuru-chan was an oni, it was completely something else to see her regenerate. It was a dark reminder that she was not like us and that thought itself must have terrified her. She didn't want to be alone again. She was afraid that we would ostracize her.

"Chizuru-chan, can you stretch out your arm and place it on the table?" I asked her, purposely not saying anything about what I was seeing.

"Shizuka-chan…" she mumbled while looking down at the table while I was cleaning and wrapping her wound. She still seemed tense and it looked like she was waiting for me to say something nasty to her.

"No need to be so afraid. Everyone knows you're an oni already, so you won't scare us away with your automatic regeneration." I commented as tied off the bandage. The cut looked like it would be gone by morning at the rate it was healing. "True, you're different from us, but isn't everyone different from each other? We like you just fine for who you are. And while you aren't an official Shinsengumi member, there's no denying that you are one of us."

"Shizuka-chan… Do you mean it?" she asked with a small timid voice as her eyes grew misty. She was obviously touched by my statement.

"Of course." I confirmed for her while offering her a smile. "Now you should change out of that sleeping robe. I can wash out the blood and patch up it up tomorrow. You can wear one of mine for now. I am a bit shorter than you, but it should still fit. I should still have another sleeping robe in the closet."

"Okay!" she chirped back with a large smile that seemed to take up half of her face and with still misty eyes.

"And when you're done changing, you can take Souji's spot in the futon. Souji won't be coming back to bed tonight and I doubt you want to be alone now. Now let me help you get a new sleeping robe." I said before rocking around like a daruma doll[1] as an attempt to stand up again. At thirty-four weeks, I was certainly round enough to be one by now.

Chizuru-chan seemed to blink at my strange actions. After a few more seconds of the strange rocking motion, I just gave up and tipped over onto my side on the floor. The difference between the daruma doll and me was that the daruma doll would always get up after being knocked down. I, on the other hand…struggled greatly to put it kindly…

"Shizuka-chan…?"

"I give up." I said with a small whine before making myself comfortable by using my arms as a pillow. "I'll just sleep here on the floor tonight. I'm not even going to bother trying to stand up again right now. A futon is not worth all this energy."

Chizuru-chan burst out into giggles at my answer despite the heavy moment she had just a few minutes ago. "Do you want a blanket?"

"Yes please."

* * *

I awoke as the strong morning beams of sunlight hit my face through the translucent paper of the windows. Now I remember why Souji and I didn't lay the futon in this exact spot in the room. Squinting through the sunlight and blinking away my drowsiness, I sat up and let the blanket from last night pool around my waist. Chizuru-chan looked like she had just woken up not too long ago and was now removing the bandage from last night, completely unaware that I was now awake. Ryota, on the other hand, didn't seem like he was in too much of a rush to climb out of bed. He was sitting up on the futon and quietly amusing himself by playing with his toes, but as soon as he saw me sitting up on the tatami mats, he scrambled out of bed and rushed to latch onto my side. I guess Ryota really couldn't hold a grudge.

"Okaa-san," Ryota chirped with all signs of last night's grumpiness gone, "dress up! Dress up!" he rushed to encourage me, probably so he could rush out to go find his dad.

"Well, good morning to you too." I responded to Ryota with a raised eyebrow before I made another attempt to get up by myself again.

A few seconds of rocking around in the same spot and I managed to get up on my feet again. Haha! Success! Who said I always needed someone to pull me up! Just as I was about to celebrate that fact with a small happy dance, which I will admit is rather silly, I froze in place when I saw Chizuru-chan staring at me with her brows raised so high that her eyebrows disappeared under her bangs. I flushed red for a few seconds before my gaze was drawn to her arm. Last night, her upper arm was covered in blood and this morning, there was only a faint line where that deep cut use to be. The healing ability of an oni was really something to behold.

"Does it hurt anymore?" I asked Chizuru-chan as I went over to where she was to examine her arm. The wound had completely sealed itself shut.

"Oh… No." she answered a tad bit absentmindedly before the focus returned to her eyes. She seemed to look around the room first before she turned to me again. "Do you have an extra piece of cloth I can turn into an arm sling? Itou-san saw my injury last night and he doesn't know what I…" am, went unsaid.

No need to give Itou more ammo against us. If Itou found out that Chizuru-chan was an oni too then who knows what he'll do with her secret. Besides, Chizuru-chan was probably still worried about how the others might react to her wound healing so fast. She was worried that the others would not be as accepting as I was.

"Yeah, I have one hanging around in the closet." I answered as I pointed to the closet, which Ryota was now half buried in at the current moment.

When Ryota emerged, he had a mixed pile of clothing, of which was once folded and stacked neatly, in his arms. I could see his clothing on the bottom of the pile and my kimono on the top with a sleeve hanging off and touching the floor. He beamed at me once he saw that I was watching him and dashed to where I was, not seeming to care that my kimono sleeve was being dragged on the ground, and offered the pile of clothing to me.

"Dress up now?" he asked while vibrating in place.

"Okay, let's get dressed up now." I answered Ryota as I pat his head before taking the clothing from him. As I was dressing Ryota for the day, and struggling a bit seeing how he wouldn't stop moving, I paused to address Chizuru-chan. "Let's dress up first and then I'll help you with the sling."

As soon as Ryota was dressed, he went to the bedside to grab his little wooden sword and dashed out the door without waiting for me or Chizuru-chan to finish dressing. Deciding that it was fine for Ryota to dash off by himself now that it was daytime, I didn't bother chasing after him and finish dressing at my own speed. Once I tied Chizuru-chan's sling in place, both of us headed to the well to take care of our morning routine.

At the well, there was already a group of men getting ready for the day. Inoue-san was busy brushing his teeth while Sano-san and Shinpachi-san were washing their faces with forced and jerky movements. Shinpachi-san seemed particularly irritated about something as he balled his hands into fists. Souji, who was leaning on one of the wooden support beams for the well's roof seemed too quiet as he crossed his arms across his chest. Ryota, who was now hanging off his father's hakama, seemed to sense something off with the mood and remained quiet instead of demanding Souji's attention right away.

"Good morning—" Chizuru-chan started to say with a bright smile the moment she saw the men, but she was quickly cut off by Shinpachi-san's snappy outburst.

"Gimme a break!" Shinpachi-san vented as he crumpled his towel into a small ball in his hand. "How could we forgive such selfishness?!" With that being said, Shinpachi-san then slammed his towel against the well's walls before the towel bounced and fell into the darkness of the well's waters.

Well, that needed to be fished out later… I can't even begin to count the hygiene issues we could have if we didn't fetch it. But just what was Shinpachi-san so mad about in the first place? And the others? The atmosphere was so tense that it almost felt brittle.

"Right on the heels of yesterday…" Sano-san said as he glared at Shinpachi-san's floating towel below in the waters of the well. "He sure does move fast, that fox."

Shinpachi-san grit his teeth and growled at nothing in particular when he heard the word "fox" while Souji, who was silent this entire time, looked away for a few seconds before he pat Ryota's head without any words.

"Has something happened?" Chizuru-chan asked as she approached Inoue-san from behind.

Meanwhile, I went and lowered a bucket into the well in a poor attempt to scoop out Shinpachi-san's towel, but the towel dodged bucket as it started to sink into the water. Just great, now I'll need to find some fishing equipment to get it out now. As I was about to run off to get the equipment, Souji grabbed my arm to keep me from leaving and told me with a shake of his head and that silent look of his that he would take care of the towel later himself. As for Chizuru-chan's question, Inoue-san answered while brushing his teeth.

"Itou-san has announced he's leaving the troop."

"Itou-san?" Chizuru-chan parroted as her eyes grew wide.

"Along with Itou-san's men that are leaving with Itou-san, Toudou-kun and Saito-kun are leaving as well."

What…?! Heisuke and Saito-san were leaving as well?! In all honesty, Heisuke deciding to leave shouldn't have surprised me since I had seen Heisuke struggling with his beliefs for a while now, but there was nothing quite like the shock of learning that he really was leaving. As for Saito-san, that was a complete surprise. Saito-san was always so calm and level headed, and above everything else, he was loyal to a fault. This was earthshattering news. We had all been together so long that I couldn't help but feel betrayed. I knew in my mind that nothing was permanent and that we all walk different paths in life, but it still stung.

"Oh no…" was all Chizuru-chan could mutter while absorbing this information.

"Heisuke, that bastard!" Shinpachi-san growled. "He didn't even come to us for a word of advice!"

"But he did come to me…" mumbled as I leaned against Souji's shoulder. "The advice I offered him didn't help much…"

"Dammit!" Shinpachi-san snapped, ignoring my statement, as he turned to march away in anger. "This is no joke!" No one followed after him.

I sighed bitterly at the recent events. It felt like the support beams that were the foundation of the Shinsengumi were splintering, the foreshadowing of total collapse. I wasn't sure what was causing Saito-san to leave the Shinsengumi, but I honestly wasn't too worried about him. He always seemed to know what he was doing. But as for Heisuke, he had been confused this whole time and had been searching for answers. My heart felt like lead. If I had offered Heisuke better advice then could this whole thing been avoided?

"They haven't left yet, have they?" I spoke up, catching Sano-san's attention.

"No, but they'll be leaving in a few hours." Sano-san answered as he draped his towel on the back of his neck. "Are going to go speak to Heisuke?"

"Yeah…" I answered before leaving to go find Heisuke.

* * *

Heisuke was sitting on a bamboo bench as he stared up at the falling sakura petals in a daze when I found him. He had a forlorn expression as he continued to stare with an almost blank looking gaze, lost in his thoughts until he felt the bench dip a bit when I took a seat next to him. He blinked away his blank look before he turned his head to look at me in surprise as I leaned my head against his shoulder.

"Shizuka-chan?"

"So this is where your search for answers has led to?" I asked him as I tried to offer him a small encouraging smile, but the smile fell flat and looked almost depressing.

"Yeah… I guess so." Heisuke answered as he turned his gaze back onto the falling petals. "I don't think Itou-san is completely wrong, like everyone says he is. Imperial nationalism or adherence to the Shogunate: I don't think you can know which is right until you try for yourself. Plus, I was the one who invited Itou-san in the first place. I can't word it well, but I want to see what is needed for the sake of this country. That's why I'm going to go with Itou-san."

"Imperial nationalism or adherence to the Shogunate… There's no right or wrong here, just different political ideas." I answered honestly after a small gust of wind blew through the courtyard, surprising Heisuke with my answer. "In the end, I believe what should be done is what's best for the people. There is no county without its people."

"You know, I totally expected you to say that adherence to the Shogunate is correct." Heisuke said as he focused his eyes back on me. "You always seem so supportive of the Shinsengumi and Kondou-san's ideals."

"Well, he is my chichi and think about who my husband is." I said as I blew away a petal that had landed on my nose. "They're my family, so of course I'd support them. But I have my own beliefs too. I personally don't believe in adhering to the Shogunate and the ridge class structure. Why should a farmer stay a farmer all his life when he clearly has talents elsewhere? Isn't better not to hold people back based on what class they were born in? Think of all the progress Japan could make if there were no restrictions on people's talents and actually if we could actually put them to use."

Heisuke nodded with a contemplative look before saying, "That's true… Then are you an imperial nationalist?"

"Not really." I continued. "Are foreigners really that bad to have in a country? The main argument I've been hearing is that foreigners bring new diseases, they ruin the economy, and they are savages that will destroy Japanese culture. It's true that foreigners do bring disease with them, but the disease they bring aren't new diseases, just different from the ones we are so familiar with. We also happen to forget that when foreigners come here, the get exposed to different diseases they have never seen before too. It goes both ways."

"Then why do the foreigners continuously try to force their way in when they could fall horribly ill too?" Heisuke muttered. "What's the point in coming to Japan to just to fall ill? It doesn't make any sense."

"The promise of money and new goods is worth the risk to the foreigners." I responded with a small smile. "Well-regulated trade supported by well-written, enforced law often produces a growing economy and brings in new items. But above all, it supports the trade of most valuable commodity: information and knowledge. If put to good use… Think of the potential and progress possible."

Heisuke didn't say anything as he considered what I said. After a few minutes of a comfortable silence Heisuke spoke up. "Then what do you think I should do?"

I stopped leaning against Heisuke should so I could look him in the eyes. His eyes reflected the inner turmoil and confusion he had. From what I could see, while wanted to find out what was best by himself, but he also seemed to want someone to tell him what the right thing to do was too.

"Heisuke, I'm not here to tell you what to do or to judge you for what you do. You do what you have to do, just keep in mind that Itou is against the Shinsengumi. You may one day be forced to fight the men you once considered brothers. But if there is ever a time you decide that you don't want to stay with Itou, then you can always come home. You're always welcomed here and if anyone else says otherwise, then I'll beat the sense into them."

"Shizuka-chan… Thanks." Heisuke said as a heavy smile appeared on his lips. "Sorry I can't stay until you give birth to the twins. I always seem to be missing the birth of your children."

"It's okay. Either way, you'll still be in Kyoto after leaving the Shinsengumi. I'm sure you'll eventually see them running around and playing outside. Now, do you think you can pull me up? I don't think I can stand up again without help."

It was March 20, 1867 when Itou led a band of thirteen people, including Heisuke and Saito-san, and left the Shinsengumi. Time marched on as the sakura blossoms fell, covering the ground like snow.

* * *

[1] The Daruma doll (達磨 daruma), also known as a Dharma doll, is a hollow, round, Japanese traditional doll modeled after Bodhidharma, the founder of the Zen sect of Buddhism. These dolls, though typically red and depicting a bearded man (Dharma), vary greatly in color and design depending on region and artist. Though considered an omocha, meaning toy, Daruma has a design that is rich in symbolism and is regarded more as a talisman of good luck to the Japanese. Daruma dolls are seen as a symbol of perseverance and good luck, making them a popular gift of encouragement. The doll has also been commercialized by many Buddhist temples to use alongside goal setting.


	97. Chapter 94

**Chapter 94**

"Childbirth is normal until proven otherwise." ― Peggy Vincent, _Baby Catcher: Chronicles of a Modern Midwife_

One would think that I would have seen this coming. I was a surgeon in my past life, so it made sense that I went to med school and learned all sorts of things like: twins almost never get carried past thirty-seven weeks. I mean, that fact in itself wasn't even something I needed to go to med school to learn. But here I was, gripping the wooden railing on the roka that connected one wooden support beam to another, while hunched over and staring at the amniotic fluid from my broken water while everyone else was off doing their job. Ryota stared up at me, wide-eyed in confusion before he looked down at the wet floor and back at me again.

"Okaa-san?" Ryota asked before he hopped over the wet patch on the floor so he could examine me up close. He was probably thinking, "Ah! Mom just peed!"

Seriously, of all the—

I had to pause that train of thought as I sucked in a deep breath to attempt to cope with the contraction that just ripped through my body, digging my nails into the wood as I said all sorts of colorful words in the privacy of my mind.

My water just broke and I was going into labor, but labor shouldn't be progressing this fast, normally…

Surgeons, or any sort of medical doctor, really, tended to develop something known as the "God complex". The belief that they are always correct and with that, they usually become self-entitled pricks. It's the belief that they know it all and are in control of everything. So how does the world remind these self-entitled pricks that they're just mere humans? Throw in something that they can't control. It's the world's way of saying, "Well, so you think you're better than everyone now? Well, screw you!"

So how did the world say, "Screw you," to me? Two words: precipitous labor. Otherwise known as rapid labor where the mother-to-be could go from pregnant to baby in less than five hours instead of the typical six to eighteen hours. There wasn't even going to be enough time for me to cope, or to even really get help. I still remember stories from my past life where a husband would be on the phone calling 911 only to return to his wife to find out that his wife had given birth while he was on the phone.

So… Again, why did I think it I would be fine on my own for a few hours when I was clearly so close to giving birth? I had originally thought that if I was going to go into labor while everyone was gone, that I would be fine since labor was mostly just several hours of waiting before the short amount of time spent pushing. I could wait it out and wait for everyone to return and still have some time left over before I had to push. Besides, I had felt confident that I wasn't going to go into labor because I didn't see my mucus plug come out yet. I should have taken into account the chances I could have missed my mucus plug coming out. I should have known better than that and made plans just in case I had complications. Well, I certainly was a big idiot. I knew everyone would be gone or busy for most of the day today and I still didn't make better plans.

Earlier this morning…

_"__I've got patrol this morning with Gen-san." Souji alerted me as he bent down so he could scoop Ryota up in his arms as we headed to the main hall for breakfast. Ryota squealed in delight while rolling around in his father's arms, causing Souji to chuckle and tickle his son before continuing, "There's also a chance my workload will be doubled and I'll be sent out for a second patrol this afternoon since we're so short on people now. But I can talk to Kondou-san and Hijikata-san about taking off from the second patrol if you need me to. I don't really feel all that comfortable leaving you alone when you're so close to your due date."_

_"__I'll be fine. The Shinsengumi is already low enough on power as it is and I don't want to put a drain on the remainder of the Shinsengumi's manpower." I answered with a carefree shrug. "I mean it's not like I'll completely be alone at headquarters, and seriously, what are the chances I'll give birth today while you're on patrol?"_

_"__I don't know about this." Souji said, the center of his brow pinching upward in concern as a small bead of sweat appeared on the side of his forehead. "I know that Hijikata-san and Kondou-san will be out until evening because they have a meeting with Aizu. Gen-san and I will pretty much be out on patrol all day, while Sano-san takes Chizuru-chan out for some grocery shopping and to look for her otou-san. The only people that will really be around are Shinpachi-san, who will be training the men in the dojo, which is quite a distance away from the main buildings of headquarters, and Sannan-san, who will be working with the rasetsu. You'll pretty much be alone all day…"_

_"__I'll be fine." I repeated myself with a firm tone that left little room for argument as I opened the door to the main hall. Souji looked like he wanted to say more, but remained silent when everyone's eyes fell on us when I opened the door. It looked as if everyone had already gathered for breakfast and Souji and I were the last to arrive._

_"__Finally!" Shinpachi-san commented as he raised his chopsticks in the air to salute us. "I thought the food was going to get cold before you guys got here. Itadakimasu!" he then said with an enthusiastic smile before diving into his food, growing less lively when he realized there was no Heisuke around to fight for food. Then his whole demeanor changed back into anger as he muttered, "That bastard!" over and over again in-between bites._

_I shook my head at Shinpachi-san's behavior before I took my seat before my food. It seemed that Shinpachi-san still couldn't decide whether to be angry or upset at Heisuke's absence. Without Heisuke and Saito-san around, mealtime seemed to grow forever more quiet in a swirl of repressed emotions. Ryota, when released from Souji's hold, didn't seem to mind the strange mood as he quickly scrambled to his seat between me and his father before snatching up the small bowl of rice that had been placed in front of him. Souji chuckled at the enthusiasm Ryota managed to show despite the unpleasant and awkward atmosphere as Ryota tackled his food. Souji picked a small grain of rice off of Ryota's cheek before digging into his own breakfast._

_"__Ahem!" Otou-san cleared his throat just as I picked up my bowl of rice, causing me to pause and focus my attention on him._

_I blinked twice as Otou-san cleared his throat again before asking, "What is it, Otou-san?" He had the look of poorly hidden disappointment written all over his face with a small hint of guilt._

_Otou-san scratched the back of his head and revealed a small frown before answering me. "I received a letter from Tsune a few days ago." he said, only continuing on when Hijikata-san encouraged him by elbowing his side. "Remember how I said that she was going to be arriving a bit later than usual because Tama-chan's sick? It turns out that she can't come to help with the birth at all. It seems that Tama-chan has come down with influenza. Tsune doesn't feel comfortable traveling while Tama-chan's still sick. Plus, the road doesn't seem all that safe nowadays too."_

_I frowned and put down my untouched bowl of rice. Oh no, poor little Tamako-chan was sick? I was a bit upset that Tamako-chan and Tsune-san wouldn't be coming, but I was really more worried about Tamako-chan. The flu could be quite nasty and people did die from bad cases of it._

_"__Is Tamako-chan alright?" I asked Otou-san as the bridge of my nose pinched together in worry. "Does she have a fever?"_

_"__She seems fine for the most part." Otou-san answered as he breathed a small sigh of relief at the news himself. "Tsune says it's just a small fever, but she doesn't want to do anything to potentially exacerbate it. She says she's sorry for not being able to come."_

_"__It's alright." I answered, breathing out my own breath of relief at Tamako-chan's mild condition. Looks like Tamako-chan would be alright after all. "I'll be fine. Besides, Chizuru-chan's here."_

_"__Uh-huh!" Chizuru-chan said as she nodded eagerly, happy to be acknowledged and to be thought of so highly. "I can help when the time comes!"_

_"__Wonderful!" Otou-san chirped before digging into his own food without worry now. "I know Shizu-chan will be in good hands with you around, Yukimura-kun!"_

Well, I would be in good hands if Chizuru-chan WAS around, but she wasn't around right now. She and Sano-san had gone to the market. The only people left in headquarters were Sannan-san and the foot soldiers that were training with Shinpachi-san right about now.

"Okaa-san?" Ryota asked again with the tips of his lips turning downwards when I didn't answer him.

"Ryota?" I said before gritting my teeth as another contraction hit. I really shouldn't be standing right now. "Can you help Okaa-san?"

Ryota blinked a few times before nodding slowly, seeming to be wary of what he was agreeing to. Even he knew something was wrong right now.

"I need you to run to the dojo to find Shinpachi-oji-san right now. Can you do that for Okaa-san?"

Ryota nodded once more, but this time with more determination before he bolted towards the dojo, tripping once before turning the corner and vanishing from sight. The dojo was a bit far to send a two-and-a-half year old child off to alone, but was a hell of a lot better than sending him into that rasetsu den to go fetch Sannan-san.

As another strong contraction hit, I sunk to my knees and bit my lower lip. I was tempted to yell for help to see who would come running, but that would be a waste of energy. The building where Sannan-san was working was pretty much soundproof because it had to hide the rasetsu, and all the men that weren't on patrol right now were in the dojo training with Shinpachi-san. Honestly, waiting for help like this was the most uncomfortable thing in the world. The bottom of my kimono and its inner layers were wet from my water breaking, I felt like I was having the most terrible cramping in the world, and I was now sitting on the wet, hard wooden floor waiting for help like an invalid. If anything, it was the blow to my pride that made everything seem so much worse than it really was. As much as I loved kids and being a mother, I seriously hope that I didn't have more kids after this. And if Souji did want more kids after this, then he better be okay with adoption.

After a good several minutes and many contractions later, as I was wondering if Ryota was really going to come back or had gotten lost along the way, the pattering of small feet followed by the louder sound of larger feet could be heard before the two people I was waiting for burst around the corner.

Honestly, if I wasn't in the middle of a contraction at that moment, I may have burst out laughing at the whole sight. Ryota came around the corner first, running as fast as he could, which was pretty fast for his age, but he could easily be overtaken by a taller person. Then came Shinpachi-san, who was hunched over as he ran since Ryota had grabbed his hand and led him over, appeared around the corner. As Ryota came to a sudden stop in front of the "puddle", Shinpachi-san nearly tripped over Ryota, only to catch himself before he fell by stepping in the "puddle". Shinpachi-san's face contorted in surprise when he realized he stepped in something wet before it morphed into disgust when he realized that there was no way what he stepped into was just plain water. He rushed to pull his foot out of the fluid with a jerk and grimaced before he turned his head to me.

"W-What the hell did I just step in…" Shinpachi-san said with a shudder, his expression telling me that he was dreading the answer.

Just for a good laugh, I was tempted to tell him he stepped in urine, since he probably already connected the dots and could tell that the mystery fluid came from me. But another short contraction made me bite my lip. Not the time for joking, I guess. However, Ryota really didn't know what other fluids could come from down there and went with what he did know.

"Okaa-san peed!" Ryota blurted out, causing a metaphorical boulder to drop on Shinpachi-san's head and his soul to leave his body through his mouth.

"You WHAT?!"

"No!" I snapped as soon as my contraction ended. Of all the—! "And if I did then there wouldn't be that much urine! My bladder isn't big enough hold THAT much! My water broke!"

"Oh." Shinpachi-san said in a sigh of relief before his jaw dropped to the floor. If he was pale before, then he went transparent this time. "Wait—! WHAT?! YOU'RE IN LABOR?!"

I didn't have to say anything else before Shinpachi-san hopped over the puddle on the floor and scooped me up in his arms in one jerky movement. He then spun around and sprinted a few feet towards the building where Sannan-san was currently working before stopping, causing Ryota to collide with the back of his legs due to the sudden stop.

"Shit." Shinpachi-san seemed to mutter to himself. "Can't go where Sannan-san is workin' on the…"

"How about you go to the room that was set aside as the birthing room to drop me off before running off to fetch Sannan-san or going into town to find someone?" I offered up helpfully before I sucked in another deep breath in an attempt to try to ease the contraction. He was already perspiring and I could feel his rapid heartbeat through the veins in his arms. Shinpachi-san had good instincts on a battlefield or in a brawl, but for something like this—he was more than a little lost.

"R-Right!" Shinpachi-san stuttered before spinning around again to head towards said room with little Ryota on his heels.

As he sprinted towards the birthing room, Ryota who was a little lost on what was going on, followed after Shinpachi-san until Shinpachi-san accidently overshot the room and had to spin around to go back, almost tripping over Ryota again. When we actually made it into the room, I was almost dropped on the futon in a big rush before Shinpachi-san disappeared in a whirlwind of wind, running off to go get someone who did know what to do in this situation. At this point, Ryota curled up next to me on the futon while probably thinking, "Mom's going to take a nap now? I'll take one with Mom, or at least make myself comfortable and chat with Mom before she falls asleep."

"Okaa-san, Okaa-san!" Ryota chirped with curious eyes. "Why Okaa-san go bed now? No want play with Ryota? Why go bed and no clean up?"

"No, that's not it." I managed to say before another contraction, my face twisting into a grimace as it hit.

God, why were the contractions coming faster and lasting longer now? Why couldn't I just have the typical labor process? Ryota looked at me questioningly, expecting me to say something more before tugging on my arm with the belief that his actions would get me to talk.

I relaxed considerably when the contraction passed, before reaching over to pat Ryota on the head while offering a small smile. "Okaa-san is going to give birth to your siblings now." I answered. However…

"Now?" Ryota objected with a pout before sitting up on the futon and crossing his arms. "Why now? Ryota want play!"

He seemed to think I could control when I could give birth to the babies… This was problematic, to put lightly…

"And baby come from field!" Ryota added accusingly afterwards almost as an afterthought.

He still believed that story that Souji told him, that babies came from a field of daikon radishes. I understood that Souji told Ryota that so that he could avoid the, "Where do babies come from?" question later as he was probably remembering his own experience of when Hijikata-san gave him "The Talk", but this was going to be hard to fix in the future. At this point, I really wanted to slam my head on the floor. Maybe if I passed out, this would all be over when I woke up…

"Not quite." someone said by the open door.

It had appeared that Shinpachi-san had run to grab Sannan-san before bolting out of headquarters in an attempt to find more people. Sannan-san gave Ryota a kind smile before entering the room and closing the door behind him. Ryota seemed more than thrilled to see Sannan-san and lept off the futon to grab on to Sannan-san's right leg, probably believing Sannan-san had come to play with him.

"So it seems your labor is not proceeding as planned?" Sannan-san asked before bending down to pick up Ryota. Sannan-san then put Ryota down next to the futon before sitting down himself.

That was when Ryota realized that Sannan-san was not here as a playdate. Ryota seemed to sulk for a few seconds and as soon as he started to sulk, he seemed to stop. He then lept out of his seat and began amusing himself by swinging his little wooden sword around, pretending to practice a move, a few feet away in the spacious room.

"Ah, it seems Ryota isn't pleased at all that he isn't the center of attention." Sannan-san commented before pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "So how are you right now? How close are the contractions?"

"I think a good five minutes apart..." I said before wincing and cringing for another minute.

"I see…" Sannan-san said as he picked up a nearby towel and dabbed my forehead with it. He then looked at Ryota and chuckled. "Little Ryota-kun doesn't seem too pleased about not being the center of attention right now."

I nodded at Sannan-san's comment in agreement before I flipped onto my side and curled up into a ball in an attempt to ease the pain a bit. Ryota was a good kid. Obedient with a good head on him, but he was just a bit… spoiled… He thrived on attention and was now none too pleased to be receiving less, but he was considerate enough not to throw a tantrum.

"Well then," Sannan-san said before helping me sit up, "giving birth is a messy process. Let's remove your kimono so there's no chance of it getting stained."

I nodded before cringing again when another contraction hit, faster and harder than before. They were now, what, three to four minutes apart now? While I was cringing, Sannan-san gave me a reassuring smile before removing my kimono, leaving me in my white under-layer, before helping me lay down again. I couldn't help but let out a groan when the contraction passed again. Three to four minutes apart meant I was most likely four to eight centimeters dilated. As I was about to tell Sannan-san this, I started to feel a lot of rectal pressure. Oh no…

"Sannan-san," I managed to say with a shaky voice before needing to pause for a minute or two to wait out another contraction, "I… I think I'm going to be ready to start pushing in a few minutes…"

At this information, Sannan-san visibly paled. He clearly had enough medical knowledge to spearhead the rasetsu research, but obstetrics was not part of what he did. But to his credit, he still was calm enough to know what to do. Sannan-san gave me an apologetic look before he reached underneath my koshimaki and removed the ume I was wearing to catch vaginal discharge. He then spread my legs to check how dilated I was while purposely trying to look away to preserve my modesty. He grimaced as he looked back up at me.

"You are almost there." Sannan-san said before looking back at the closed door, seemingly annoyed that no one else had come in yet. "You already feel the need to start pushing, don't you?"

At this point, I couldn't answer very well anymore. It took almost everything to not start groaning in pain. If I did start making some noise of discomfort, Sannan-san would be, without a doubt, very uncomfortable. Sannan-san then took a deep breath before letting out a resigned sigh.

"Let me know when you are going to start pushing. I don't want any more surprises." Sannan-san said as he began to sweat himself.

I replied with a pained nod before saying the one word Sannan-san was probably dreading.

"Now." I said with a quiver. Everything just seemed to be moving faster than expected. I guess I could be happy about not having a fourteen hour long labor, but I didn't exactly want this type of labor either.

Sannan-san flinched at my answer, though I had the feeling that he was already expecting me to say that. So many things have already not gone according to plan, so why would this go according to plan? He swept the room with his eyes, taking a quick inventory of what we did have in this room before he muttered something inaudible to himself. He was probably muttering how there was no warm water in the room to wash the babies with after birth. He then grabbed a few nearby towels to lay underneath me before tying his sleeves back.

"I guess this can't be helped." Sannan-san said as he positioned himself so his hands and arms were between my legs, ready to assist when needed. "I don't need to tell you to push, right?"

"No." I replied while grabbing the blankets after a squeak of pain managed to escape from my lips.

Ryota, who was upset that I had "chosen" to give birth now, dropped his favorite toy at my small squeak, and turned to me with wide-eyes. He wasn't expecting me to make any noises or sounds of pain. I HAD grabbed a sword's blade with my bare hands before in his presence without making a sound of pain, so when he heard me squeak in pain, he had dropped his wooden sword and scrambled to my side.

"Okaa-san? Okaa-san?" he chirped, though the usual pep in his voice had been replace with concern.

I managed a small smile at Ryota before I began pushing. It really wasn't long before I felt a head starting to emerge. The thing about being pregnant with multiples at once was that the babies don't get to grow as large since they are sharing a space with their sibling(s). I didn't have to push as hard as I did with Ryota to have the head emerge, but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt as much. From how rapidly things were moving along, I was sure I was going to have some tears in my vagina walls. Joy… Having stitches down there was not going to be fun.

"Okay, we have the head—" Sannan-san alerted me before he was interrupted by the door slamming open.

On the other side was panicked Chizuru-chan and wide-eyed Sano-san. They both looked harried and completely unprepared for what they were looking at. Chizuru-chan had a few hairs sticking up and a twig sticking out of her normally pristine hair and Sano-san was still carrying what looked like were our groceries. Groceries had been jostled around in the basket the in the rush they were in to get here and the more fragile items looked ruined. There was even what appeared to be egg yolk soaking through the basket from a broken egg before it dripped onto the clean floor.

"Oi! Are you serious?!" Sano-san gapped in disbelief as Chizuru-chan jumped into the room, swiftly shoving Sannan-san aside to replace him.

Chizuru-chan looked down at the emerging baby in a panic before yelping, "Where's the tub of warm water?! Sannan-san!"

"My apologies, but there was no time and no extra hands to help." Sannan-san said while composing himself, poorly hiding the fact he was miffed from being shoved aside so abruptly, before turning to Sano-san and snapping, "There will be plenty of time to stare later! Go get the water!"

"R-Right!" Sano-san answered in a startled yelp, snapping out of the daze he was in before scrambling out of sight.

"Where's Souji?" I managed to groan out as I started feeling the burning sensation of the shoulders beginning to pass through my birth canal. I mentally began to count down from ten so I could focus on pushing.

"Nagakura-san is still looking for him." Chizuru-chan said while supporting the baby's head between my legs. "He found me and Sano-san first and yelled at us with a bunch of scrambled words for the first minute or so. It took us awhile to figure out what he was really trying to say."

I groaned one more time, not putting any effort into speaking anymore as I pushed again. I could feel the shoulders move through my birth canal at what felt like a slug's speed before the hardest part of "baby one" was over. Just as Chizuru-chan was pulling the first baby from me, Sano-san burst through the door with a large tub of warm water.

"Seriously?! Already?!" Sano-san exclaimed in surprise as he brought the tub over to Chizuru-chan as quickly as he could. "I thought that childbirth took hours, not minutes!"

"Not always. It depends." Chizuru-chan answered in a businesslike tone as she cut the umbilical cord.

She turned around and washed off the newborn while she could, taking advantage of the few minutes it would take for "baby two" to move into place. A few seconds of loud silence filled the room before a small whine filled the room followed by soft crying.

"Huh," I heard Sano-san said with a curious sounding voice, "Souji will be pleased. A little girl." I swear I could almost hear Sano-san tilting his head in curiosity as he observed my newborn daughter.

"Sano-san, I need you to hold her. The second baby will come soon." Chizuru-chan said, turning to place the new born in Sano-san's arms, causing him to flail around a bit.

"What? Chizuru!" Sano-san protested, but Chizuru-chan had stopped focusing on him and turned her attention back on me. He didn't seem to know what to do with the crying newborn in his arms, but he seemed to suck up whatever thoughts he was thinking when he glanced over at my tired form.

"Shizuka-chan, how are you feeling?" Chizuru-chan asked.

I wanted to ignore that question and ask to see my new daughter right away, but before I could say so, a familiar pressure started to build again. I couldn't really speak as I shook my head and gripped the blankets again. I wasn't even allowed a full ten minutes to rest before getting ready to push again!

Ryota, on the other hand, seemed a bit curious to what the small crying bundle in Sano-san's arms was, but he didn't move from his seat next to me. Instead, he still looked a little lost on what he should be doing. He took one look at my face before he stood up and grabbed a towel, then he came back to where I was and attempted to messily dab the sweat off my face, earning a strained but thankful smile from me. He may have been a bit spoiled, but he was still rather sweet.

The second baby seemed to move along just as quickly as the first. I could feel the head emerge rather quickly before I hit the shoulders. I groaned when I felt the shoulders, all my energy had already been sapped and I still had to push the rest of this baby out.

"Shizuka-chan, you can do it." Chizuru-chan encouraged me as she felt me tire. "You need to push—"

As if there weren't enough interruptions for one day. Before she could finish speaking, the door to the room slammed open again. However, this time the person that arrived was the person I had been waiting for the whole time. Souji looked a little more than out of breath. He was panting as he leaned on the side of the door, and he was sweating quite a bit. Shinpachi-san must have found Souji all the way across town and when Souji heard the news, he must have sprinted all the way back. Who knew how many miles that was?

As Souji leaned against the door to catch his breath, his eyes darted around the room to take in information. His eyes first shot to Ryota besides me, then to me and the baby that was currently emerging from between my legs, then finally to Sano-san, who was holding the most recent newborn. He seemed a bit split on whether to go take the baby from Sano-san's arms or to rush directly to my side, but once he caught his breath, he came over to my side and took a seat next to Ryota. He wrapped one arm around Ryota and pecked him on the top of his head before shooting me a wry grin.

"I don't want to say I told you so, but…" Souji said with a grin, completely ignoring the dirty look I was shooting his way as he turned to Ryota. "Good job taking care of Okaa-san."

There was no mistaking the pleased look on Ryota's face that appeared after his father's complement.

"Oi, Souji!" Sano-san called over to Souji, looking rather glad that Souji was here now. Sano-san then quickly deposited the crying baby in Souji's arms before reaching over to push a stray strand of hair off my face. "A little girl. I bet you're happy about that."

Souji didn't get to answer Sano-san as his attention snapped off the crying baby and back onto me when he heard me groan. Ah, here it was. The familiar burn of pushing the baby out once reaching the shoulders.

"Come on, Shizuka. You can do it." Souji encouraged me. And with that, it was just enough to give me the strength to push out the last baby.

* * *

Hours later after the births of the twins, things had finally calmed down. Otou-san and Hijikata-san were still away at the meeting, still completely unaware what had occurred, but everything else had been taken care of. Everything used in the birthing process had been cleaned up and put away and everyone was back to doing what they had mostly planned for the day. Mostly.

"She's still awake?" Souji asked as he leaned over to observe Mizuki, the younger twin sister, as he held Akiko, the older sister by twenty or so minutes. Instead of returning to patrol, he left Shinpachi-san to fill in for him.

Ryota, on the other hand, seemed to be satisfied with curiously examining Akiko silently as she slept.

"Yeah." I answered as I stared back at Mizuki's green eyes. She looked sleepy, but wasn't quite ready to drift off to sleep like her sister.

Despite being identical twins, they seemed to already act rather different. While both were born completely healthy, Mizuki actually didn't cry at birth like Akiko did. She was far less fussy than Akiko and was instantly much more cuddly than her sister, seemingly enjoying physical contact more. Akiko, on the other hand, did cry at birth, but she didn't cry very loudly. And another interesting tidbit, Akiko also instantly stopped crying once Ryota's curious face came into her line of sight. But even with their differences, they were both quiet babies.

Being twins, both babies were born smaller than Ryota, since he had my whole uterus to himself during gestation, but I guess the sisters' size is what made them more similar to me than anything. While the sisters were born with Souji's reddish-brown hair color and his eye color, everything else seemed to come from me. Their stature, face shape, hair texture, eye shape, and pretty much everything else was all me. Souji seemed rather pleased with these results.

Finally, having enough excitement for the day, Mizuki let out a small yawn before turning her face to my breast. It only took a matter of seconds for her to join her sister in sleep, enticing a small chuckle from Souji.

"So," I said as I leaned my head against Souji's shoulder, "want to tell me why you chose those names to be their names?"

"No need." Souji said with a chuckle before he pecked my forehead. "You already know."

The characters in Akiko's name had the meaning of "autumn child" and the characters in Mizuki's name had the meaning "beautiful moon". Souji had named our daughters after me using the name I had in my past life, not caring that the names didn't actually correspond with the season the girls were born in. It was April 7, 1867. It was spring, not autumn, but I liked the names just fine.


	98. Chapter 95

**Chapter 95**

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." ― Bob Marley

"Souji." I sighed out my dear husband's name in exasperation before my lips morphed into a tired smile.

My hands were on my hips to show my displeasure as I stood behind Souji and Ryota while I glared down at the back of Souji's head when he ignored my warning call in favor at smiling and rubbing his daughters' tummies. Akiko and Mizuki, who were laying together on the futon together and holding each other's' hands, both squealed with delight at their father's attention before preening for their older brother's attention too. Ryota, who was already staring at both his little sisters with the look of wide-eyed awe, was all too willing to give in to his little sisters' whims and pulled on both his cheeks to make a funny face for his sisters. While this scene was all too cute, this wasn't the right time for this. From the open door of our bedroom, I could see the men of the First Division waiting by the front gate, ready for patrol. In fact, the men had been ready for roughly about ten minutes already. Souji was late.

This wasn't the first time Souji was late for his patrol, and lately, it had become a constant habit for Souji to run late, hence why the men no longer were surprised at their absent captain. However, the first time Souji was late for his patrol, the men of the First Division had never seemed so confused. Souji, despite his natural sarcastic and joking nature, was one of the captains that took the Shinsengumi's duties the most seriously. This bad habit of running late was a habit that I was hoping wouldn't stick. The Shinsengumi was low on manpower so the remaining captains had to work longer hours to make up for it, not slack off like what Souji was doing.

I pushed back my bangs with my left hand before nudging Souji with my foot, which he seemed not to feel. This habit of constantly running late was, unfortunately, both Akiko's and Mizuki's fault. Immediately after the twins were born, they both seemed to snag Souji by the heartstrings before kidnapping his heart. If Souji was considered attentive and doting when Ryota was born, then there were no words to describe how Souji was with his new, two month old daughters. He seemed intent on spoiling his children rotten, especially his daughters.

While I would love to let Souji stay and play with his children, the Shinsengumi still needed Souji to function. Seeing how conventional ways were not enough to snap Souji's attention off his children, I decided to use a method that had never failed me before and smacked Souji across the back of his head. Souji flinched before rubbing the area I had hit and turned to face me with a pout that made it near impossible to be mad at him.

"Shizuka…" he said with a whine, making me feel guilty now as he looked at me with that "kicked puppy" look.

I offered Souji a small smile before putting my hands on my lap and crouched down to get leveled with Souji. It wasn't a terrible thing to want to spend time with his children, but that didn't mean he could ditch work.

"Souji, your men are already by the front gate waiting for you to lead them out on patrol." I said with a gentle tone as I placed two fingers on his cheek to turn his face towards the door so he could see what I was talking about. "It's wonderful that you want to stay and play with your children, but you have work to do. You can come play with them afterwards."

"But our daughters will be asleep when I return." Souji complained in a pitiful tone as he looked up at me with a pout. He didn't only want to play with Ryota when he returned, but with all three of his children at once.

"That can't be helped. You know they do have to sleep plenty right now to grow healthy and strong." I answered. "But they won't stay asleep forever, you know. You can play with them after they wake up."

"Fine." Souji said with a reluctant grumble before he stood up and grabbed his uniform. But instead of just putting his uniform on as he normally did, he flashed me a handsome smile and handed his haori to me so I could help him put it on. I obliged him in this endeavor all while giggling at his pleased look when I straightened the haori for him before handing him his forehead guard, and just as he was tightening his forehead guard, Souji looked down to address Ryota with a positive grin. "Help Okaa-san take care of Akiko and Mizuki, okay?"

"Ryota take care!" Ryota said with an affirmative nod with a straight back and determined eyes. He acted like he had accepted an important mission of some sort.

"Good boy." Souji said with an approving nod before he leaned in to steal a kiss from me, which had become strangely heated, before exiting the room with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. When he turned back slightly and saw my pink cheeks, he sent me a smirk and a smug wink that was filled with promises of what he intended to do later when we got some time alone.

Oh my! How was he still able to get me to swoon like this, like how he was able to when we first started courting? I could already feel my toes curling!

"Alright, let's get started." I heard Souji say to his men in the distance, snapping me out of my wandering thoughts, which I'll admit were already in the gutter, before leading his men out of headquarters.

I sighed in an almost dreamy fashion while fanning myself with my hand to try to get my flushed cheeks to go back to their original pale color, but to no avail as I sunk down onto my knees while feeling oddly satisfied. I was supposed to go back to sharpening my naginata with the whetstone, but was it just me or was it suddenly too hot to do any work at all? Of course, my strange behavior caused Ryota to look at me strangely as he stopped making funny faces at his sisters for a few seconds.

"Okaa-san sick?" little Ryota asked me as he took note of my flushed face. Then doing what his father normally did, Ryota popped on over next to me and laid a hand on my forehead, though I doubt he really understood what he was supposed to be feeling for with his hand. He had no idea that this gesture was used to feel whether or not an individual had a fever or not.

"Okaa-san's fine." I replied to Ryota with a smile before patting his head with affection. "Otou-san just promised Okaa-san something, that's all."

"Oh." Ryota said, completely losing interest in me before he turned around to face his little sisters and returned to trying to entice giggles out of them.

Ryota now was so sweet on his little sisters that it was sometimes hard for me to believe that he initially didn't like them. In the beginning, just like any child that was the only child for an extended period of time, Ryota was jealous of his sisters after the initial curiosity of them wore off. Before, Souji and I use to spoil Ryota rotten with all the attention we gave him, but after his little sisters were born, he received less. Ryota didn't seem to understand that it wasn't because we loved him less than his little sisters, but because infants needed to be cared for attentively and that Souji and I only had so much attention to give. Caring for one newborn infant was already extremely taxing, but caring for two? Exhausting. There was almost not enough energy left in me and Souji by the end of the day to play with Ryota. Of course Ryota was miffed and I would always catching him scowling at his little sisters. So Ryota did what most kids did when they wanted attention, he created trouble. He would mess up the laundry, draw all over the tatami mats and walls with ink and a calligraphy brush, make things disappear by tossing them into the well, and he started pulling on people's hair again. When caught, Ryota seemed all too pleased to get scolded by me and Souji. He regretted nothing.

However, that all changed a couple of weeks ago when the girls turned two months old. I had just finished changing the girls, so they were both awake on the futon when Ryota came around to scowl at them and to whine at me. However, just as Ryota was looming over the girls with a frown, both of the girls smiled for the first time and they smiled at him. In an instant, Ryota's frown vanished and he stared back at them with wide-eyed awe, like he was really seeing them as his little sisters for the first time instead of objects that stole his parents' attention. For the rest of that day, Ryota refused to budge from that futon as he hovered nearby and watched the girls. Every time the girls woke up, Ryota would always try to make them smile, whether it was by making funny faces at them or by tickling their tummies. From that day on, Ryota had grown extremely attached to his younger sisters. It almost seemed like he would do anything for them. For an instance, one week ago, Shinpachi-san and Sano-san were having a debate in the courtyard right outside mine and Souji's bedroom. Obviously, those two weren't the quietest of people when it came to debates, and they were passionate about their own side. So as those two argued, they became louder and louder, annoying the whole Okita family because our little girls couldn't sleep with all that racket outside. Souji said nothing, but he shot me a look with a twitching eyebrow. He was going to go outside to tell both men to shut up, but then Ryota grabbed his little wooden sword and stood up. Both Souji and I watched Ryota in curiosity as he opened the bedroom door and marched outside with his sword. Ryota marched up to Shinpachi-san, who was the loudest, and whacked Shinpachi-san on the shin with his wooden sword. However, that didn't seem to have an effect as Shinpachi-san barely felt a thing. Then equipped with the same twitching eyebrows his father had earlier, Ryota waltzed behind Shinpachi-san and shoved his wooden sword up Shinpachi-san's butt.

It was near impossible to not drop to the floor and roll around in laughter at Shinpachi-san's painful reaction. As the wooden sword was jabbed upwards, Shinpachi-san's face seemed to change in slow motion. His face first started with the dreaded look of, "What the hell?" and ended in a mixture of pain and unbelief. Then Shinpachi-san's hands flew to his butt cheeks as he jumped ten feet into the air with the wail of a wounded animal. There were even big, fat tears leaking from his eyes as he flew through the air before landing face first in the dirt. At that point, Sano-san never seemed so glad that he was leaning against a tree. If Ryota had access to his butt like he did with Shinpachi-san's…

It was impossible not to burst out laughing when I remembered the look on Sano-san's face. Shinpachi-san, on the other hand, held the look of pain mixed with the look of utter betrayal on his face as tears leaked from the corner of his eyes.

"What are you giggling at?" A questioning voice snapped me out of memory lane as a hand was waved right in front of my face.

Hijikata-san was crouched down in front of me and when he knew he had my attention, he gave me a playful smile before flicking my forehead lightly. He then moved to my side and took a seat next to me with his eyes on the two new girls and Ryota.

"Just thinking about what happened a few weeks ago with Shinpachi-san." I said while putting down my naginata before falling into another mess of giggles. "Remember?"

Hijikata-san chuckled with a snort at the memory. "Poor Shinpachi." Hijikata-san said. "He claims that his butt will never be the same again, and Harada will never leave his back open again. Harada claims that if he wasn't leaning against a tree then he could have easily been the one that took that jab up his butt."

"So I see." I said with a small smile on my lips before I was finally able to resume work on my naginata, which had grown dull due to the large amount of training I had managed to squeeze out of my busy everyday life.

Similarly to what I did right after Ryota's birth, after mine and the twins traditional, month long isolation, I resumed training with my naginata. However, the reasons seemed quite different this time around. Right after I had given birth to Ryota, my reason for jumping back into training immediately was somewhat vain. I had just wanted to get my figure back. This time around, there was always the lingering pressure lurking around and behind my thoughts. I still remember the day when Nagumo snuck into the headquarters and nearly killed Ryota with a disturbing amount clarity. Nagumo was still lurking around somewhere with the threat that he would come after my family to get to me. I was pregnant and unprepared the last time he appeared and Ryota almost died as a result of that encounter. Next time, I would be prepared. Next time, I would not only fight off Nagumo, but I would kill him. I didn't care if he was Chizuru-chan's brother. He threatened my family and I would collect payment from him via his life.

Hijikata-san eyed my naginata briefly before turning his attention back on to my children. He thankfully didn't say anything, but he knew what I was thinking about as I continued work on my weapon.

"It's strange." Hijikata-san said as his eyes wandered until they landed on Ryota. "I've never actually seen Ryota act so attentive and gentle when I'm around. Usually when I'm around, he usually spends all his energy on trying to aggravate me." he ended with an irritated grumble.

"He must have decided that Akiko and Mizuki are worth more energy than you are." I said without looking up from my naginata as I wiped it off with a rag one final time before putting the sheath back on. Maintenance was done.

Hijikata-san's lips quirked upwards in amusement at my comment as he placed the palm of his hand briefly on his forehead. "I don't know whether I should be relieved at that or annoyed. All I know is that it's so much better than all those times he decided to make it his goal to make my life difficult."

That was to put it lightly. One of Ryota's favorite things, like his father, was to annoy the living hell out of Hijikata-san. I've had already lost track of the numerous different things that Ryota had done to Hijikata-san. Just to list a few of the things that Ryota had done to annoy Hijikata-san: pouring ink into Hijikata-san's tea; stealing Hijikata-san's haiku journals only to tear out the pages to hide in various locations in headquarters; throwing Hijikata-san's writing instruments into the well; tying knots and various other objects into Hijikata-san's hair; leaving frogs in Hijikata-san's futon; and telling Otou-san lies about Hijikata-san, his favorite being, "Hijibaka-oji-san likes to drink pee." Seriously, how did a child that wasn't even three yet come up with these things?

"I'm just glad the twins already seem to behave differently than him." Hijikata-san continued. "In fact, they always seem to smile when they see me, whereas, when Ryota was a baby, he would always cry. Maybe the twins will have a positive influence on Ryota."

"Maybe." I said before promptly crushing all of Hijikata-san's hopes and dreams by pointing the one thing he was purposely ignoring. "Or Ryota will just keep doing all those things to you because he likes to copy Souji.

Hijikata-san slumped over in his seat when an imaginary anvil landed on his head. He mumbled a few words under his breath before shooting me a peeved glare. He was just trying so hard to ignore that fact and be hopeful, and I went ahead and crushed his happy thoughts in a matter of seconds. As he opened his mouth to retort, Otou-san almost seemed to burst into the room in a happy skip, gushing openly when he saw his granddaughters still awake and giggling at Ryota's funny faces.

"Hahaha!" Otou-san laughed with extreme glee as he swooped in and placed Ryota on his lap before taking a seat directly in front of the newest members of the family. "So you two are still awake! Is Ryota being a good Onii-chan?"

"Ojii-chan!" Ryota squeaked when Otou-san pinched his sides. Ryota didn't seem to know whether to be excited now that his grandfather was here or to be upset that his grandfather messed up the funny face he was making at his little sisters. But, in the end, Ryota just seemed to settle on rolling around happily on Otou-san's lap before tugging on Otou-san's haori.

"Kondou-san?" Hijikata-san asked in pleasant surprise at Otou-san's sudden arrival. "What are you doing here? I thought you had some duties to attend to."

"Ah! Well, Shizu-chan said she had a few things to take care of and needed me to watch the kids for a few hours." Otou-san explained with a grin as his eyes remained focused on his granddaughters.

"Remember what we discussed?" I asked Hijikata-san. I had wanted to check up on Heisuke and Saito-san so I had devised a plan to see how they were doing, but since it included Chizuru-chan, and there was also the fact that Shinsengumi members were forbidden to speak to the members of Itou's group, I had to run it by Hijikata-san first so he could vet it.

"Oh, that." Hijikata-san said before his eyes drifted back to my daughters. "But will it be okay? You'll be gone for a few hours and infants nurse frequently."

"They'll be fine." I replied as I grabbed my naginata and straightened my kimono before standing up. "I just fed them. They don't drink as much as Ryota did when he was a baby and they sleep longer. I'll be back before they get hungry again."

"Alright." Hijikata-san said before throwing in one last piece like an overprotective mother. "Make sure Yamazaki and Shimada are with you at all times. I don't want another incident like the one with Nagumo all those months back."

"Ah, no need to worry so much Toshi." Otou-san said, gushing as Mizuki smiled brightly at him. "Shizu-chan can wield her naginata again. She'll be fine."

With a small wave at everyone, I headed out to prepare. I needed to grab Chizuru-chan, Yamazaki-san, and Shimada-san. As for the supplies I needed, everything was already laid out at Otou-san's second home.

* * *

Chizuru-chan's eyes wandered around the house. It wasn't an overly large house like the Yagi compound, which once housed the entire Shinsengumi, nor was it like one of those apartment-like townhouses that were common in downtown Kyoto. It was a single-standing family house, but it still did take quite a large sum of money to own a house like this. Chizuru-chan had never been here before, so I guess she was pretty surprised to be here. Otou-san's second home probably wasn't a place Chizuru-chan thought she would ever be visiting, seeing how it was mostly used for undercover missions.

"So I guess we're doing something where people can't know that we're from the Shinsengumi?" Chizuru-chan asked me as I straightened out the kimono I had her put on. She wasn't actually aware of what we were heading out to do. All she knew was that we had grabbed her for a "mission" and that we were dressing her up in the house used for undercover missions.

The silk kimono Chizuru-chan was now wearing was a lovely shade of red with a few flowers on it in a darker red, bringing the kimono to life. The black hems and obi were bold in color to accentuate the floral pattern more and the golden obi jime[1] just really tied the whole kimono together. And with Chizuru-chan's hair out of that normal ponytail and into an elegant bun with a dangling hairpin, she looked absolutely lovely. Chizuru-chan really was a pretty girl.

"Something like that." I answered before all but shoving a large bundle of food wrapped in a cloth at her. "Now let's get ready to go."

"O-Okay." she replied, sounding a bit nervous, as she followed me and the Inspectors out the door and into the streets of Kyoto.

The whole time we were walking, Chizuru-chan seemed to feel a bit awkward. It had been some time since she actually got to dress like a girl. This really did make me feel a bit guilty. The way she was acting was like she had forgotten what it was like to dress like a girl. We seriously needed to find more opportunities for Chizuru-chan to dress like a girl. Maybe the next time there was a festival, we could let her go dressed like a girl? That would certainly be nice.

"O-Oh… It's been a long time since I wore anything like this…" Chizuru-chan mumbled to herself before asking the rest of us. "Do I look weird?"

"No, it suits you." Shimada-san complemented Chizuru-chan with a kind smile. "You look like a girl you might find in the city."

"It fits perfectly." Yamazaki-san chimed in right after Shimada-san. "No one would think you weren't a normal girl."

"I-I see. Thank you…?" Chizuru-chan replied back to those really odd complements. Both Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san probably meant well, but it had almost sounded like they actually had forgotten she was a girl. "Maybe they have…" she then mumbled under her breath, her thoughts the same as mine.

"Is something wrong?" Yamazaki-san then asked Chizuru-chan. It had seemed that he had heard her mumbling, but didn't actually hear what she was saying.

"Oh, don't mind them." I spoke up, confusing Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san, as they had no idea what was actually going through Chizuru-chan's head. "I think you look absolutely lovely. Are you sure there's no boy waiting for you back at home? You certainly look too pretty for me to believe that no one had at least a crush on you back in Edo."

"EH?!" Chizuru-chan squeaked loud enough to attract attention from other nearby people as she flushed a brilliant red color. "N-No! I'm quite sure!" she denied, but she did seem pleased to be called pretty after being disguised as a boy for so long.

"Ah, we've arrived." Yamazaki-san suddenly announced, not giving Chizuru-chan's cheeks time to return to their normal color.

"O-Oh, right. So…this is it?" Chizuru-chan asked as the blush started to fade.

She seemed a bit confused at where we had stopped. In front of us was just a normal teahouse that served dango. It certainly didn't look special, but that was only because she didn't know who frequented this teahouse. Through the Shinsengumi's network, I had found out Heisuke had started coming here instead of Shimabara just because he didn't want any messy encounters with his friends that were still in the Shinsengumi. If I wanted to check up on Heisuke, then it would have to be done when he wasn't surrounded by Itou's men, and to make it less obvious, I would have to use Chizuru-chan. Itou's men wouldn't recognize Chizuru-chan if they did see her because she was always hiding her true gender from them, and I was sure Heisuke was going to be thrilled to run into Chizuru-chan here.

"Isn't this just a normal tea house?" Chizuru-chan asked as she looked to all three of us with a tilt in her head for some clarification.

"Yes." Shimada-san answered without explaining anything. "Your job is to stand here as a look out. Act normal."

"Okay…? So you just want me to…stand here?" she asked again. We had gone out of our way to grab her for this "mission" and all we wanted her to do was stand here? She must have been thinking that we would surely have more for her to do than just this.

"Yes." Yamazaki-san answered in a boring tone, seemingly disappointing Chizuru-chan a little more. She must have been expecting some action. "The rest you should be able to figure out as it happens. For now, just act naturally."

"We will be watching from nearby. Feel free to order some food and relax." Shimada-san spoke up once more before he and Yamazaki-san walked off, leaving Chizuru-chan with her mouth hanging open.

"Don't worry about it." I finally said to Chizuru-chan before I began to follow the two Inspectors. "You'll know exactly what to do when the time comes."

"B-But," Chizuru-chan said, managing to ask me one more question before I disappeared. "What about the bundle you gave to me? What is it and what am I supposed to do with it?"

"It's food." I called back with a sly grin. "I'm sure you'll be able to figure out what it's for later."

And with that, I vanished into a crowd of people and joined the Inspectors across the street at a small diner that offered a nice view of the tea house and of Chizuru-chan. It was the perfect spot to hide. We could watch what was going on without being caught or looking suspicious.

"…Act normal?" Chizuru-chan said to herself right were we left her.

She had never been given such a command, in all the time she had been in Kyoto. So I supposed it was a little confusing for her. However, she didn't let that bother her as she ordered some tea and dango, and sat down on one of the wooden benches offered outside the tea house to enjoy the sun.

"So I'm just supposed to…figure it out?" Chizuru-chan asked herself once she settled in. Despite being quite embarrassed after she had been caught talking to herself when she first entered the Shinsengumi's care, she never stopped the habit. "Figure WHAT out?"

It was at this point Chizuru-chan seemed to fall into deep thought, no doubt going through the various reasons why she could have been placed here. Was she supposed to overhear something? Were some important people from the Satsuma and Choshu Domains coming to meet in secret? Or so she probably wondered. However, she didn't have to stew in her thoughts for long before she heard a familiar voice, causing her to freeze up for a second.

"…Yeah, you don't have to tell me." said the familiar voice. Chizuru-chan, without a doubt, must have recognized this voice by now. "I'm not going to betray Itou-san."

"That's all well and good, but there are a few of us who think MAYBE Kondou-san's little boy is actually a spy." another, hostile-sounding, voice replied to said familiar voice. "Don't forget that."

"…I told you, I get it. If that's all you have to say, then get out of here."

At this point Chizuru-chan swallowed hard before slowly turning her head. Emerging from inside the tea house was a depressed looking Heisuke. Chizuru-chan looked positively thrilled to see Heisuke and began to call out to him before she caught herself halfway. She was probably remembering that the Shinsengumi and the Guards of the Imperial Tomb[2] were strictly forbidden from speaking to one another. She swallowed the rest of her words. She didn't want to get Heisuke in trouble if he was caught speaking to someone from the Shinsengumi. So Chizuru-chan turned away and turned her focus back to the stick of dango in her hand, but luckily, as Chizuru-chan did that, Heisuke took a seat next to her.

"Dammit. Jerks…" Heisuke seemed to vent in frustration as he leaned his back against the wall in fatigue. "Won't even let me drink tea in peace…"

At Heisuke's presence, Chizuru-chan's eyes seemed to flash to him for a brief second before she looked back down again while looking rather pale. This action seemed to catch Heisuke's attention.

"Hmm…?" Heisuke said as he turned to observe Chizuru-chan, though there was no recognition in his eyes. He didn't seem to know that the young lady he was looking at was Chizuru-chan. "What's wrong, ma'am? You look like you aren't feeling well."

Chizuru-chan quickly turned her face away, hoping he wouldn't recognize her. "Oh, no, I'm fine. Nothing wrong…" she said with her face turned away. However, Heisuke seemed to get offended by this action.

"What's up with you…?" Heisuke asked her in a mumble as his lips twitched downwards into a frown and the rest of his face morphed into the expression of confusion. "Am I really that scary?"

It was at this point Chizuru-chan covered her mouth and failed to stop the snort of laughter escaping her mouth. Heisuke scary? Not a chance in hell!

"Wait, did you just LAUGH at me? Rude. You just met me and…you…?" Heisuke instantly jumped up to accuse Chizuru-chan before his eyes grew wide with disbelief. "Wait… Y-You…!"

Ah, so Heisuke finally recognized Chizuru-chan? Though, I must say that the way that Heisuke's eyes were popping out of his skull was quite amusing.

Of course, in Chizuru-chan's natural fashion, she replied with a sweet, "Is something wrong?"

"O-Oh, sorry… Um, I, uh…" Heisuke said, stumbling over his own words as he couldn't figure out WHAT to say. Then finally, Heisuke seemed to reign in his floppy jaw and with a light blush on his cheeks, he seemed to settle for, "I was just…stunned by your beautiful face. Never mind."

"T-Thank you… You're a real flatterer." Chizuru-chan replied with a flush that appeared when Heisuke called her beautiful.

"H-Hey, that wasn't flattery! …Sorry. That's a weird thing to say to someone you've just met."

"Oh come on, everybody likes to get compliments."

"I-I see. Well that's good then. Sorry for being weird…" Heisuke said, mouthing Chizuru-chan's name towards the end without saying it out loud.

Both of them seemed afraid to say something that could possibly be incriminating. There was no way to know who was listening in, and since they weren't technically allowed to meet, they couldn't risk revealing that they actually knew who the other was. Two strangers who meet in a tea house by chance was all they could go with. After a short awkward silence, Heisuke spoke.

"…So, uh, you come here often?"

"Oh, no, this is my first time." Chizuru-chan answered politely. "How about you…?"

"Well, I've been coming here a lot these days. Don't really feel like drinking in Shimabara. Besides, if it means I get to bump into young ladies, I could deal with drinking tea instead of saké."

"…You're right. I guess meeting here is some kind of fate, sir."

"Huh?" Heisuke said. He didn't seem to like how formal Chizuru-chan was being with him. "Hey, c'mon, you don't need to be all formal. I mean, we're about the same age, right?"

"Really? Okay, I guess I can do that." Chizuru-chan agreed, causing Heisuke to smile slightly.

"Yeah, that's better. Easier that way, you know? Anyway, you should drink, or your tea's gonna get cold." Heisuke suggested before pointing to the mitarashi dango[3] on Chizuru-chan's plate. "Oh, try the glazed ones. They go really good with the tea."

Chizuru-chan blinked before following Heisuke's suggestion. She took a bite of her mitarashi dango before taking a sip of tea, her face lighting up at the combination of the flavors.

"Oh, you're right…" Chizuru-chan said with a small smile after she swallowed. "It's sweet and then the sour of the tea… This is delicious."

"See?!" Heisuke said, perking up instantly while looking prideful that he was responsible for that small smile on Chizuru-chan's lips. "Here, lemme buy you another one."

Heisuke then rushed off to quickly buy another platter of dango and returned just as quickly as he rushed off.

"The weather is starting to change now that it's summer." Chizuru-chan said as Heisuke returned with the platter of dango for them to share. "Are you doing alright? Any colds or anything do to the weather shift?"

"Hey, if I'm good at one thing, it's being tough." Heisuke said, unpleased with himself now that he had worried Chizuru-chan. "How about you? You doing okay? You look pretty healthy… Everything else all right?"

"…Two of my friends are gone. They're…far away." Chizuru-chan answered after a brief silence while looking choked for words as she straight out told him that she missed both him and Saito-san. Heisuke's eyes widened as he continued to listen to her speak. "I mean, they're not that far away physically, but there are other things keeping me from seeing them. So…I guess that's making me a little sad."

"Sad, huh…" Heisuke repeated after Chizuru-chan while looking distraught. He always did care quite a lot for Chizuru-chan. "I'm just guessing here, but I'll bet your friends feel the same way, you know? But they probably can't do anything about it right now, so…"

"…Sorry." Chizuru-chan apologized when Heisuke trailed off. "I didn't mean to bother you." All she meant to say was that she missed him and Saito-san, she didn't mean to make Heisuke upset. She seemed to instantly regret saying anything.

"It's okay…"

"Oh!" Chizuru-chan quickly then exclaimed, probably coming up with something that would cheer Heisuke up. "A friend of mine gave birth recently. She gave birth to two identical girls."

Hearing that, Heisuke seemed to perk up almost immediately. He knew Chizuru-chan was talking about me. Heisuke and I had always been rather close. If I didn't count Souji, Otou-san, and Hijikata-san, whom I considered my "direct family" in my "Shieikan family", then Heisuke would be the next person I was closest to. We DID spend all that time together before Shinpachi-san's and Sano-san's arrival at Shieikan Hall.

"What do they look like?" Heisuke asked while vibrating in place. He looked excited to the point of bouncing off the walls of the other nearby buildings. "Do they look like their okaa-san? I bet they do."

"Yup." Chizuru-chan chirped, happy that she got Heisuke to forget what they were talking about before. "The older one is named Akiko and the younger one is Mizuki. They both have their otou-san's hair color and eye color, but everything else came from their okaa-san. Their also really well-mannered and quiet for their age."

"Heh! I figured as much." Heisuke exclaimed with a grin. He was probably picturing the girls in his head right now.

"I know, right?" Chizuru-chan agreed before she seemed to remember the bundle of food I had given to her. Now she knew what it was for. She quickly picked it up again and shoved it into Heisuke's hands all while saying, "Oh! I just remembered! My friend, the same one that gave birth, gave me all this food, but there's no way I can finish it. I already have too much food in my kitchen. Why don't you take this and share it with your friends?"

"Wah? Really?" Heisuke said while looking overjoyed at the gift of food. He seemed to not have a good, home cooked meal in a long while, and he and Saito-san always did enjoy my cooking a fair amount.

From that point on, both seemed to engage in small talk, which cheered them both up considerably. As I watched them talk from my hiding spot, I let out a despondent sigh. I had hoped that Heisuke would at least be happy when he left the Shinsengumi, but from what I witnessed, things were not going well for him. This made me wonder if Saito-san was suffering like Heisuke too. I honestly wanted to do nothing more than to barge into Itou's headquarters and kidnap Heisuke and Saito-san, and maybe shoot Itou in the face, but that would deem impossible. All I could do right now was watch from a distance and hope that Heisuke found the answers he was seeking and that Saito-san was doing well.

* * *

[1] Obijime are used to keep the obi from untying as well as accenting the kimono style. They come in two basic types - stuffed cloth _kukehimo_ and braided silk thread _kumihimo_—either tubular or flat.

[2] The official name of Itou's group after they split from the Shinsengumi.

[3] Mitarashi dango (みたらし団子、御手洗団子) is a type of dango skewered onto sticks in groups of 3–5 (traditionally 5) and covered with a sweet soy sauce glaze. It is characterized by its glassy glaze and burnt fragrance.


	99. Chapter 96

Sorry for the slow update! I've been busy taking care of my grandmother, so if this chapter seems somewhat rushed, then I apologize. On another note, how many people would be interested in seeing more omakes? I have noticed that some people have said they would like to see more. If there are a considerate amount of people interested in omakes then I may write a few more.

* * *

**Chapter 96**

"Enter, stranger, but take heed  
Of what awaits the sin of greed,  
For those who take, but do not earn,  
Must pay most dearly in their turn.  
So if you seek beneath our floors  
A treasure that was never yours,  
Thief, you have been warned, beware  
Of finding more than treasure there."  
― J.K. Rowling, _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_

"Is there no other way?" I asked Kyoko-chan whist hiding an upset frown as I helped her hoist an expensive looking lacquer chest onto the horse drawn carriage. When she broke the news to me I felt like I was on a capsizing ship. "Do you and Kenji-san have to leave Kyoto? Isn't there some way you can stay in the city?"

"I wish…but there really is no other way." Kyoko-chan replied with a sigh and a small grunt as she set down the chest. "Here, why don't we take a small break for now and let our husbands finish loading up the luggage." she suggested before taking a seat on the roka of her former home.

Just as we took a seat, we heard a wry, "Really? Already taking a break?" causing us to turn our heads. Behind us, Souji and Kenji-san had paused on their way to the carriage. In their hands was a rather heavy looking medicine cabinet that was just as tall as both of the men. Didn't it strain their muscles to suddenly pause like that without putting the piece of furniture down?

"Ah, no teasing the ladies right now." Kenji-san said as he shot a playful wink at me and his wife before urging Souji to start walking towards the carriage again. It looked like Kenji-san didn't want to hold the heavy piece of furniture for too long. "If they're tired, then let them rest. I'm sure we can handle the rest just fine."

"Um!" Ryota, who decided not to stay with his sisters at headquarters, agreed unexpectedly with Kenji-san as he ran out of the house with a small box of trinkets in his hands. Ryota then was quick to deposit said box on the carriage. Though, when Ryota stepped back to examine his work, he decided the placement of the box wasn't perfect and picked up the small box again before clambering into the carriage to find a better place. Once Ryota was satisfied with is work, he carefully climbed out of the carriage before bolting back into the house to find another box he could carry. He certainly seemed eager to help with the move.

"Well, it's not like I didn't try to find ways to stay in Kyoto." Kyoko-chan answered my question as we returned back to our conversation. "I was born in this city and I grew up in it. Plus, my parents and otōto still live in this city. It's my home and I wouldn't leave unless I had no other choice, but you know how it is. Kenji-san's sofu[1] has grown old and will pass away any day now, and the clan has elected Kenji as the next clan head. We have to live in the clan's village now to take care of all the responsibilities. There is no other choice."

"I know…but still…" I whispered while feeling morose. First it was Heisuke and Saito-san leaving, and now Kyoko-chan and Kenji-san were moving away? Recently, it just felt like everyone was leaving.

"No need to be that upset." Kenji-san said as he and Souji paused behind us again on their way back inside to grab another piece of furniture. "You can always come and visit. Besides, even if I wasn't called on to become clan head, we still would have eventually moved to the village. The political atmosphere has become rather unstable the past few months with Sakmoto Ryōma[2] and all, and I don't want Kyoko in Kyoto when the situation explodes."

"You're just being too cautious." Kyoko-chan complained with a small huff before leaning her head on my shoulder. "You know I can take care of myself."

"That's not what I'm worried about." Kenji-san said while ruffling her hair lightly before heading back into the house with Souji. "I'm worried about the baby." he called back over his shoulder.

Baby? Was Kyoko-chan—? Well, Souji must have been thinking the same thing because I heard him ask Kenji-san when they were inside picking up another piece of furniture.

"Yeah." Kyoko-chan answered my silent question as she removed her head from my shoulders. "We found out about six weeks ago. Kenji's worried because I had such a difficult time getting pregnant in the first place with my irregular flow. He wants me in a more stable environment during my pregnancy to avoid any possible adverse effects on my pregnancy."

"I can see why. Kyoto does seem like a ticking time bomb nowadays…" I said, allowing my voice to drift off in the summer wind. Despite the fact that it was midsummer, it could be quite windy on certain days. "But how are you feeling right now? You don't seem like your normal peppy self at the moment."

"Don't get me wrong." Kyoko-chan said with a small forlorn smile as she placed a hand lightly over her still-flat belly. "I'm thrilled that I have my own little one on the way. I just wanted to stay in Kyoto. I'm sure that our kids would have become best friends if they had the chance."

"But I guess somethings are just not meant to be." I finished with a sigh before offering her a small smile. "But don't worry. This isn't the end. Souji and I can come visit just like Kenji-san suggested."

"True." Kyoko-chan agreed with me before springing up on the balls of her feet, feeling slightly peppy again. "Alright! Break has been long enough! Let's continue moving."

"Okay, but you go help Ryota with the small boxes and leave the heavier things to me."

"What?! Shizuka-chan, you hypocrite!" Kyoko-chan accused me with the stink eye. "You hated being stuck doing nothing in pregnancy and now you're doing the same thing to me!"

"You're not doing nothing." I couldn't help but point out gleefully as I skipped inside the house with a sly smile sitting on my lips. "You're still helping by move boxes, just the smaller ones. On the other hand, when I was pregnant, Souji wouldn't even let me do that."

Of course, when Souji overheard that, he could quite help himself as he protested, "You said you weren't going to hold that against me!"

* * *

I really couldn't stop myself as I let out another depressed sigh later in the evening after Kyoko-chan and Kenji-san had left. Friends moving away to was always inevitable, but that didn't mean that I would get used to it or have to like it. And unable to stop myself, I let out another depressed sigh, triggering a chain reaction from Souji as he sighed afterwards before arching his eyebrow at me as he put his hands on his hips.

"Shizuka, I get that you're upset, but do you have to keep sighing like that while you're breastfeeding our daughters." Souji asked before he swooped down and placed Ryota on his shoulders. "What happens if they notice that you feel depressed and start feeling depressed themselves?"

"It doesn't quite work like that." I answered as I shifted the twin-nursing pillow on my lap. The two girls didn't seem to mind the minor adjustment as they continued on nursing without a care in the world. "They've grown, but haven't developed all that much now. They can't really tell if I'm depressed and will continue smiling without a worry."

"Yeah, but still…" Souji said before bouncing Ryota around on his shoulder, causing squeals of glee to fill the room. "Up we go, Ryota!"

"Up! Up!" Ryota chirped before tugging on Souji's hair.

Wincing at the tug, Souji shot Ryota an unappreciative scowl before putting Ryota back on the ground, ending playtime in an instant. "Ryota, how many times do I have to tell you? You don't pull on Tou-san's hair."

However, Ryota just seemed to brush off Souji's scolding and ran over to where I was sitting so he could watch his sisters eat. Of course, Souji wasn't too happy about being ignored, but at the same time, he also didn't care enough to scold Ryota over this and just let it drop in favor of picking up loose items that were scattered across the bedroom floor.

"So what do you think will happen now? I mean, now that Kenji-san and Kyoko-chan will have their hands full with clan business." I said before pecking Ryota on the forehead when he came close enough. "We've always been fortunate enough to have them help us out. Like with looking for Chizuru-chan's otou-san and in repelling Kazama a few years back."

"Well, things are definitely going to get busier and more difficult." Souji answered as he tossed the dirty laundry into the hamper. "It was difficult enough to find clues on Chizuru-chan's otou-san with Kenji-san's help, and, as much as I'd hate to admit it, it'll probably be near impossible without his help. As for Kazama, he just got lucky that Kenji-san showed up when he did or else I would have torn him a new asshole."

Right…

"Oi, Shizuka." I heard Hijikata-san outside before he slid open the door and poked his head in to address me and Souji without caring I was in the middle of breastfeeding. Souji, on the other hand, from that vein twitching in his right hand, I could assume he wasn't really happy about the interruption. "Someone's here to see you and Chizuru. When you're done, come down to the main hall. You too Souji."

Then just as abruptly as he appeared, Hijikata-san closed the door and disappeared again. And just on time too. As Hijikata-san closed the door, a dirty towel hit the door where Hijikata-san's head once was. Souji then picked up the towel he just hurled after it missed its mark while calling Hijikata-san a bastard and muttering under his breath about how no one seemed to care about privacy anymore. Though, Souji should have been the last one to complain about that. He didn't seem to care when he invaded Hijikata-san's privacy.

"Who do you think wants to see me and Chizuru-chan?" I asked Souji as he tossed that dirty towel into the full laundry hamper.

Souji let out an irritated huff as he moved to straighten my medical notes on the bookshelf before he turned around and answered.

"It has to be someone that knows both you and Chizuru-chan that is not related to the Shinsengumi. The only person I can think of that knows Chizuru-chan and is outside of the Shinsengumi is someone named Sen. Do you know a Sen?"

"Yeah actually." I answered before signaling to Souji that the girls were done eating and that I wanted him to take one so I could take care of the other. Souji wasted no time scooping up Mizuki into his arms as he allowed me to take care of Akiko. "I met her back when I didn't know Nagumo was really a man. He was harassing me in the middle of the street and Sen-chan came and chased him away. I didn't get to talk to her long though. She seemed busy and disappeared as quickly as she appeared. Do you think it's her?"

Souji nodded before he helped me stand up. We were asked to go to the main hall as soon as the girls were done eating. "Probably. I'm mean, if it's not Sen, then the next person I can think of is Kaoru and I don't think he would be the type of person to walk in through the front gate to ask about you and Chizuru-chan. His style is more of 'Hey, let's kidnap some people!'" Souji joked towards the end, enticing a snort out of me.

"Yeah. Okay, let's go." I said as I made a gestured at Ryota so he knew to follow me and Souji. "We've spent long enough here. I bet everyone is already in the room waiting for us."

* * *

Contrary to what I thought, not everyone was already waiting in the main hall. Very specifically, there were two people still missing. One of them was Hijikata-san, who was no doubt serving as the messenger, and Chizuru-chan, who Hijikata-san was now fetching. And true to Souji's prediction, the person who had come to see me and Chizuru-chan was Sen-chan. But Sen-chan wasn't the only one waiting for me and Chizuru-chan. Strange enough, Kimigiku-san, the geisha from Shimabara, was also here. Then, as if things weren't strange enough as is, Kimigiku was also dressed in ninja gear.

"Ah! Shizuka-chan! It's so nice to see you again!" Sen-chan greeted me with a large amount of energy that seemed somewhat forced, before she went to peer over my shoulder at Akiko, who was now on her way to falling asleep. "Is this one of your daughters? She's so cute!"

Then as quickly as she fluttered over to where I was, she fluttered to Souji's side to take a peek at Mizuki, who was still wide awake.

"Another one! How cute! Twins!" Sen-chan seemed to squeal before crouching down so she could ruffle Ryota's hair.

Ryota, probably wondering who the strange lady was now, didn't allow Sen-chan to ruffle his hair for too long. As soon as Sen-chan placed her hand on Ryota's head, he ducked under her arm and ran over to where Otou-san was. Then, as if to rub in the I-don't-know-you-so-I-don't-like-you feeling into Sen-chan's face, Ryota practically lept into Otou-san's lap before beaming up at him. Sen-chan seemed particularly miffed about Ryota's attitude towards her before she puffed her cheeks up in a pout before turning her head away in an irked huff.

"Well, that's just fine! I like your sisters better!" Sen-chan said like a stubborn child before she turned back around to coo at Mizuki, causing Souji to raise his eyebrow at me. It was like he expected me to the answer to whatever question he was asking.

"Um… Sen-chan?" I spoke up, causing her to put on a more serious face as she turned to me. "You were the one that wanted to see me and Chizuru-chan?"

"Yes, we have something important we must discuss." Sen-chan said while allowing Souji and me to take our seat before she went and sat next to Kimigiku-san. "Now we only have to wait for Chizuru-chan."

Despite that short moment of seriousness, all notions of seriousness vanished as Sen-chan went back to coo at Mizuki, who was still awake. Seeing my curious glance thrown Sen-chan's way, Kimigiku-san seem to see it fit to explain.

"Ah, Hime-sama is fond of children. When she has time, she spends it playing with the children of our village." Kimigiku-san said.

Though, this explanation really just brought up more questions than answers. "Hime-sama" and "our village"? What was that supposed to mean? Was Sen-chan really a princess of some remote settlement? If she was, then why waste her time on me and Chizuru-chan? Politically, we were pretty much just commoners. But… If she wasn't looking at our social status, Chizuru-chan and I were pretty damn impressive. Chizuru-chan was a female, pureblood oni while I was the Higanbana. Though, this information was pretty much classified. If Sen-chan knew all this information, then… If Sen-chan really was a princess of a village there could be no way that village was a normal village filled with humans.

"You're an oni…" I suddenly blurted out my epiphany in a whisper. No one else seemed to hear my epiphany, but Sen-chan seemed to smile slyly at my realization. As I was about to question her more, the door slid open again to reveal Chizuru-chan with Hijikata-san.

"Osen-chan!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed in pleasant surprise when her eyes landed on Sen-chan. Chizuru-chan then rushed to take a seat next to her while looking eager to strike up a conversation as Hijikata-san closed the door behind him and went to take a seat next to Otou-san all whist shooting Ryota the evil eye as Ryota moved to grab Hijikata-san's hair.

"Hello, Chizuru-chan!" Sen-chan exclaimed good naturedly as Chizuru-chan got settled in her seat. "How are you doing?"

"Osen-chan!" Chizuru-chan chirped again in greetings. I guess it must have been nice to actually talk to someone different that had nothing to do with the Shinsengumi every once in a while. As Chizuru-chan opened her mouth again to say something, she paused. Her eyes drifted to Kimigiku-san, as if she were only realizing that Sen-chan did not come alone.

"Oh, yes. She is with me. My bodyguard, one might say." Sen-chan explained, only causing more questions to pop up in everyone's heads.

However, despite all the questions that must have been brewing in everyone's heads by now, everyone remained silent and content to simply observe Chizuru-chan's and Sen-chan's conversation. Everyone seemed to sense that something important was about to happen and that it was just best to listen carefully.

"So…?" I prompted Sen-chan to continue. She wasn't only here about Chizuru-chan. She had asked to see me too.

"Chizuru-chan. Shizuka-chan. I've come to take both of you." Sen-chan answered simply.

By the looks on everyone's faces, that was not what they had expected to hear at all. From what I gathered, no one else seemed to put together that Sen-chan was an oni yet. I guess they would be surprised by that statement. But since I had figured out that she was an oni, it wasn't all that surprising at all. Oni have come after Chizuru-chan and me before, but... Most of the time oni have come after Chizuru-chan and I, it was always a complicated mess of kidnappings or attempted kidnappings. No one was as polite as Sen-chan, and Sen-chan was a woman too. Why would SHE want Chizuru-chan? It wasn't like they could have biological children together. Plus, she didn't seem to have any malicious intent at all. All of this was confusing, but for once, I can say this wasn't all that unpleasant. I didn't know Sen-chan at all, but she seemed like a good person.

"Um… Pardon? I don't understand what you're saying…" Chizuru-chan said, looking taken back by the statement while saying what was surely on everyone's minds.

"No, what you don't understand is the situation." Sen-chan answered bluntly, but it didn't come out rude. Sen-chan genuinely sounded like she cared. "But you needn't worry. You do trust me, don't you?"

This had to be some oni business of some sort, but before I could actually ask her to explain what was going on, Souji grabbed my upper arm with his free hand while delivering a simmering glare in Sen-chan's direction. Souji didn't seem willing to have me go anywhere without him, and while Sen-chan emitted zero malicious intent, Souji wasn't as trusting. However, Sen-chan either didn't notice the glare or she just merely brushed Souji off.

"There's no time." Kimigiku-san suddenly cut into the conversation with a sense of urgency. "We must make preparations to leave immediately."

"Wait." I said as I put a comforting hand on Souji's thigh to silently assure him that I wasn't going anywhere. "Why should Chizuru-chan and I go with you? While you don't seem like a bad person, why should I go with you when I barely know you? Why should Chizuru-chan? Before anyone goes anywhere, I think it best that you explain."

"Yeah!" Shinpachi-san immediately agreed with me in a loud voice, causing Akiko to stir a bit in her sleep. "I agree with Shizuka-chan! You just barge in here, ask to see the girls, and spring this on us!"

Shinpachi-san seemed awfully defensive of both Chizuru-chan and me at the moment as he puffed his chest out in an attempt to seem bigger than he really was as an intimidating gesture just in case Sen-chan really did mean any harm. He really was like an older brother.

"I think it's about time you tell us what the hell is going on." Souji growled darkly after Shinpachi-san, causing Sen-chan to frown at Souji's hostile behavior. From that, it became clear that Sen-chan had no intention of antagonizing anyone. With her honest behavior, there was no way that she meant any harm. But yet again, everyone else wasn't as trusting.

"Please, Osen-chan." Chizuru-chan said politely as she looked directly into Sen-chan's eyes, making it clear that even that if she did trust Sen-chan, she wasn't going anywhere until things were explained.

"…Yes, I do suppose you have a point." Sen-chan relented, giving into our desires to be better informed. "Very well. I shall begin at the beginning."

Sen-chan then cast her gaze around the room, making it abundantly clear that her explanation was not only for me and Chizuru-chan's benefit, but for everyone else's as well. It was important to listen carefully.

"You are familiar with Kazama, yes?" Sen-chan started off. "I hear you have crossed swords with him once or twice."

"How'd you know that?" Hijikata-san immediately asked, his eyes narrowing in hardened suspicion at Sen-chan as he crossed his arms in a defensive fashion.

Personally, I thought that the answer to that was obvious as sunlight. Seriously, there was a woman dressed like a ninja sitting next to Sen-chan. And not to mention, Kimigiku-san did call Sen-chan "Hime-sama". If Sen-chan was a princess, then she would have access to sensitive information.

"Oh, ah, well, I hear of most things that happen in Kyoto. Eventually." Sen-chan answered Hijikata-san vaguely.

At that point Hijikata-san smirked, like he figured something important out. "You're an oni like Kazama and his punks, aren't you?"

At first Sen-chan did look a little offended by what Hijikata-san said, but she must have let it slide as she let her expression of disgust vanish. "I would rather not be associated with his ilk, but you are correct. I am also an oni." she answered. She must not really be all that fond of Kazama if she was offended by Hijikata-san's statement.

"…Fine." Hijikata-san said, letting his comparison of Kazama and Sen-chan drop before urging Sen-chan to continue. "You were talking about Kazama."

"He showed up at Ikedaya, Hamaguri, and Nijo." Sano-san chimed in, letting Sen-chan know what we did know about Kazama already. "He's got something to do with Satsuma and Choshu, doesn't he?"

"And we can't forget that bastard Nagumo Kaoru who's with Tosa." Souji added with a sour look on his face. "They're all oni that have gone after Shizuka-chan and Chizuru-chan. Though, it seems pretty obvious that they're pretty much looking out for their own interests."

"That doesn't really matter." Hijikata-san said after Souji with a rather cold expression on his face. "Either way, they're all enemies of the Shinsengumi."

"Then you are aware that they are pursuing both Chizuru-chan and Shizuka-chan, correct?" Sen-chan asked while gesturing to both me and Chizuru-chan.

"We are aware." Otou-san said, speaking up for the first in this meeting tonight. "Yukimura-kun here is a rare, female, pureblood oni and Shizu-chan is what is known as the 'Higanbana' as you are probably already aware."

"Good, that speed things up." Sen-chan said with an approving nod. "As you all probably heard earlier from Hijikata-san, I am also an oni. I am, in fact a princess, Sen-hime."

With that, Sen-chan gave us all an elegant bow, exactly like what one might expect from a princess. As soon as Sen-chan was done with her bow, Kimigiku-san spoke up, explaining herself in all of this…mess.

"I come from a family of ninja who have served Hime-sama and her family for generations."

After that introduction was done, Hijikata-san snorted as he spared Kimigiku-san a short glance. "I'd wondered why you were being so friendly. You were just gathering information on the Shinsengumi." Hijikata-san said, referring to last fall when we all went to Shimabara for a celebratory dinner and making it clear that I wasn't the only one that recognized her.

However, Kimigiku-san merely said, "I have no idea what you mean." with a sly smile, like she was laughing at an inside joke, as she tilted her head to the side politely and met Hijikata-san's glare boldly.

Of course, at Hijikata-san's words, Shinpachi-san spoke up in a confused tone, "You know her?!"

Shinpachi-san clearly needed to pay more attention to the people he spoke to if he didn't recognize Kimigiku-san from Shimabara, especially because Shinpachi-san did spend copious amount of time there.

From Shinpachi-san's outburst there, Sano-san didn't particularly look impressed by Shinpachi-san's blunder there. Sano-san sighed before tapping Shinpachi-san on the side of the head to get Shinpachi-san's attention before he pointed to Kimigiku-san. "Move your eyes up about six inches, Shinpachi. That's Kimigiku-san. She's uh, dressed a little different from when we met her at Shimabara, but that's her face all right."

"WHAT?!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed in utter surprise as his eyes nearly bulged out of his skull when he almost tipped over in shock. After recovering, he made a great show of staring pointedly at Kimigiku-san's face. For his effort, he received a smile identical to the one Hijikata-san received.

My, Kimigiku-san was quite the sly one, making the boys trip over themselves like that.

"We oni have lived in this country since… Well, since a very long time ago." Sen-chan continued to explain. "The top officials in the Shogunate, and in many of the domains, already know of us. Most oni had no interest in human matters, and preferred to be left alone, to go about their own affairs in peace. However, humans in positions of power saw that they might achieve great things with the assistance of oni, and so they both feared us and demanded that assistance from us."

"And...what happened?" Chizuru-chan asked despite already knowing the answer.

"The first time, Tokugawa Ieyasu declared war on the oni clans, and with the aid of the Higanbana, all the oni clans were nearly wiped out." Sen-chan answered as her eyes turned cold and drifted onto me for a brief moment, an action Souji did not miss as he shot a glower back at Sen-chan. "What remained of the oni clans splintered and fell into isolation. However, even when the oni clans dispersed, after decades, it was still not enough to stop the humans from pursuing the oni's power and demanding assistance."

"Did the oni comply and give their assistance?" Chizuru-chan asked to urge Sen-chan on when Sen-chan paused to look all the men in the eye.

"Many did not. They felt they had no obligation to involve themselves in human affairs. Human ambition meant nothing to them. But when they refused, the human lords were furious. They sent out great armies to destroy the villages of oni."

"How horrible…" Chizuru-chan mumbled under her breath as she processed the explanation as Sen-chan continued to speak.

"The oni clans scattered across the country once again, and were, perforce, sent into deeper hiding. No longer isolated in their own communities, demons began to mate with humans. These days, there are few demons who can claim a pure bloodline."

"Yes. And Kazama is one of these along with those in the Yukimura clan." Otou-san spoke up.

Sen-chan nodded. "Yes. You already know and you must also already know why Kazama is after these two. As a fellow female oni, I am worried for Chizuru-chan's safety and, in turn, also for Shizuka-chan's safety as she is Chizuru-chan's friend." she continued on before she issued us a warning. "Kazama has thus been content to toy with you, but I cannot guess how much longer that may last. Should he devote all of his formidable abilities to this task, I do not think you will be able to protect them. Even the Shinsengumi cannot stand against the true power of an oni."

At that last sentence, all the men jumped up in protest. In their opinion, Sen-chan was grossly underestimating them and they were quick to grumble amongst themselves with Shinpachi-san being the loudest.

"Whoa there Sen-hime-sama! You don't think that's going a bit far?" Shinpachi-san protested, his back straightening up to make it almost seem like he had jumped to his feet.

"Shinpachi's right." Sano-san agreed, though he seemed less energetic than Shinpachi-san. "You aren't givin' us enough credit."

However, Sen-chan didn't change her tone. "The only reason you are still alive is because Kazama and his companions have not turned their full strength on you."

"Then let them try." Souji spoke up next with a fierce fire in his eyes. "We already repelled Nagumo Kaoru when he tried and gave him a massive bruise on his ego. With Kazama, it won't be much different."

"Souji…" I mutter quietly as I rubbed his thigh with my hand.

What he wasn't saying in that statement was that what happened then was too close for comfort and that Ryota almost died. But I can also understand why he was making himself out to be tougher than he really was. Pride as a man did factor into this, but the real reason was that he didn't trust Sen-chan with me and he didn't want to appear weak. From what I gathered, and what Souji probably figured out too, was that oni weren't too fond of the Higanbana. The last person who was the Higanbana all those decades ago had burned the oni clans badly and had even created a chain of events that forced them into hiding. While Sen-chan was nice and was a good person, the one she was really concerned for here was Chizuru-chan. The only reason I had probably been included was because Sen-chan was aware that Chizuru-chan was fond of me. If Chizuru-chan and I were on bad terms then who knew how this would have turned out. As far as I know, it could have ended up like it did with Nagumo and Kazama.

After a pregnant silence, Hijikata-san spoke up with an authoritative voice that essentially had the hidden tone of "fuck off", indicating that he was not impressed with being underestimated by an oni.

"Let me be clear, lady." he said as his eyes narrowed once again at the princess. "We're the Shinsengumi. The Wolves of Mibu. We're not going to piss ourselves over an oni or two."

"Very true." Souji quipped as his lips twitched upwards for a brief second despite the heavy atmosphere. "Besides, we've got the Oni himself in command, don't we?"

Hijikata-san's imposing figure then collapsed for a short second as he regarded Souji in annoyance, though, I could pick out a hint of relief in his voice too.

"Always have to have the last word, don't you?"

Of course Souji did. If he didn't, then he wouldn't be Souji.

At Hijikata-san's words, Sen-chan's expression of worry intensified. Apparently she had put all her hope in getting the men to listen. She probably did expect them to say "no", but hearing "no" even when expected could still be surprising.

"I understand how you feel, but… You must realize that these men are unlike any other foe you have faced before." Sen-chan tried to reason with the men, but even at this point an outsider could tell the answer was not going to change. "That is why I must ask you to leave Chizuru-chan and Shizuka-chan to us. In our care, their chances of survival will be much higher."

At this, Shinpachi protested in aggravation again. "Hey, give us a chance, alright?" he exclaimed. "Are you trying to say we can't protect them?"

"Besides, what do you mean 'chances'?" Sano-san jumped in. "If you can't guarantee her safety, I don't see why we should hand them over to you."

"Look, lady," Souji spoke up whist sounding slightly hostile, "you're not part of the Shinsengumi, so I'd appreciate it if you could keep your nose out of our business, alright?"

"What about you, Hijikata-san?" Kimigiku-san said with a charming smile, hoping to get the men to see their side and hopefully, reason. "You've acknowledged Kazama's strength. Surely you must at least consider Hime-sama's offer. Please give the girls to us."

"That's different." Hijikata-san rebutted with a scowl as he was reminded of Kazama again, causing Kimigiku-san's smile to freeze. "I don't know how strong our enemy really is, but that doesn't change the fact that we'll protect both Chizuru and Shizuka, in the name of the Shinsengumi. Besides, you're oni too. Why should we trust you?" His last sentence summing up everyone's feelings. "Especially with Shizuka. I'm sure I'm not the only one who saw that cold look when you mentioned 'Higanbana'. The oni are still sore about what happened with the last Higanbana decades ago. How will we be sure that no harm will come to Shizuka?"

At Hijikata-san's dismissal, Kimigiku-san looked absolutely offended and promptly lost her cool. "Do you know who you are speaking to?" she demanded in force. "Hime-sama is a descendant of Suzuka Gozen—"

"Kimigiku, please. That is not necessary." Sen-chan cut in gently, causing Kimigiku-san to realize that she had just snapped earlier. Kimigiku-san instantly clammed up and looked towards the princess apologetically.

"I agree with Hijikata-kun." Sannan-san said, speaking for the first time since the meeting started. "They should stay here with the Shinsengumi."

That comment earned Sannan-san a glare from Kimigiku, but nothing more. However, Sen-chan seemed much more graceful in what seemed to be a defeat.

"I see." Sen-chan said. "That is a problem, then. There is no way I can convince you?"

Otou-san, who had remained silent for most of the discussion, had his arms folded across his chest in deep thought, but he finally spoke after some deep consideration.

"…Yukimura-kun. What do you have to say about this?" Otou-san asked Chizuru-chan. Chizuru-chan did know Sen-chan the best out of all of us here.

Chizuru-chan seemed to be surprised at this sudden question and jumped when she registered the question while stumbling over her own words. "Me? Um… Well, I…uh…"

"I see." Otou-san said when Chizuru-chan was unable to put together her own answer and continue to fumble about. "It must be difficult to discuss with an audience. You ought to speak with Sen-hime-sama, alone."

Nobody was expecting Otou-san to say that, least of all Hijikata-san as he blurted out a, "What the hell, Kondou-san!" while everyone else almost rose up in protest.

"There should be at least one witness." Sannan-san suggested as his form of protest, his voice straining with worry as he glanced back at Chizuru-chan. "Hime-sama may take Kimigiku-san, of course."

"No, that's not necessary." Otou-san said, immediately shutting Sannan-san down.

Otou-san's swept his gaze across the room, telling everyone to settle back down silently with his eyes before speaking. "Yukimura-kun has shown herself to be reasonable. I've no doubt she won't do anything foolish. Am I correct, Yukimura-kun?" he addressed Chizuru-chan at the end.

"Of course." Chizuru-chan answered confidently, which was far differently than how she appeared before. "I would never betray you. Any of you."

"Well if Kondou-san says so…" Souji said, calming back down as he did take note that Otou-san did not include me in with Chizuru-chan. Chizuru-chan may go speak to Sen-chan privately, but I, on the other hand, was staying with the captains. But Souji was not the only one to notice. Sen-chan had frowned when only Chizuru-chan was mentioned and I wasn't.

"Oh?" Sen-chan voiced as she turn her gaze onto me. "Shizuka-chan isn't included?"

"No." Souji answered without hesitation as he scooted forwards to block me from Sen-chan's view with his shoulder. "My wife stays with me. As the Higanbana, her situation is different. Other than Chizuru-chan, I won't trust another oni with her."

"Very well." Sen-chan replied before sending a small smile my way the best she could with Souji blocking her view of me. "I will respect that. You are lucky to have such a caring husband, Shizuka-chan. Come along, Chizuru-chan. We have some things we must discuss."

Chizuru-chan and Sen-chan then shortly exited the room to discuss options while Kimigiku-san stayed in the room with the rest of us. The room promptly fell silent when the two women left, leaving Kimigiku-san to trade cold glances with Hijikata-san.

* * *

Everyone jolted awake as the vibrations from the loud boom shook the headquarters. Souji wasted no time throwing on his clothing and grabbing his swords while cursing as he left me to calm our shocked children.

"Typical oni courtesy." Souji mumbled under his breath. "Of course they would attack right after the warning Sen-hime gave us."

In the end, Chizuru-chan had decided to stay with us, so that loud booming sound that shook the headquarters was no surprise. It had to be Kazama and the two others.

"Shizuka, stay here with the kids." Souji ordered me before bolting out the door to undoubtedly aid the others in repelling the intruders. "Yamazaki's nearby as a precaution."

With Kazama here to take Chizuru-chan and me, there was bound to be a huge ruckus in the front, leaving the rest of headquarters to be devoid of people. If any oni got past the frontline then everything would be over. I wasn't going to sit around and do nothing. There was one more oni missing from this whole mess and I figured he would probably take advantage of the ruckus Kazama was creating to sneak in himself.

With Ryota doing his best to stop his little sisters from crying, I scrambled to throw on my hakama and hakamashita myself before grabbing my naginata. Nagumo was going to appear. I could feel it in my bones. As a last precaution, I called out to Yamazaki-san.

"Yamazaki-san!"

"Yes, Sensei?" Yamazaki-san asked as he appeared in front of me in a whirl of wind.

"Take the children deeper into headquarters and stay there with them." I ordered whist keeping my eyes on the open door."

"What?! Sensei—"

"Shut up and do as you're told, Yamazaki-san." I immediately cut him off. There was no time for this. I needed him to take the kids out of harm's way now. "If you protest anymore then I'll tear out your tongue and make you eat it. Understand?"

Yamazaki-san seemed shocked at my behavior, but luckily he obeyed without another question as he picked up my kids and vanished again, and just on time too. Just as Yamazaki-san left, a grimly familiar silhouette appeared at the door.

"Ah, it appears that you are alone tonight." Nagumo said almost too pleasantly as he stepped into the bedroom with the full moon illuminating his snide features.

"Well, that's okay." I retorted as I readied my naginata in front of me. "I'm not alone anymore now that you're here. I figured that a vulture would never pass up a chance at a free meal. Letting Kazama do all the heavy lifting for you so you could slink in unnoticed?"

Nagumo merely smiled slyly as he drew his sword before he started to approach me.

This wasn't going to end like last time. The only way Nagumo was going to leave anymore was through a body bag.

* * *

[1] Japanese word for grandfather.

[2] Sakamoto Ryōma (坂本 龍馬, January 3, 1836 – December 10, 1867) was a prominent figure in the movement to overthrow the Tokugawa shogunate during the Bakumatsu period in Japan. One of his most noted accomplishments during this period was the negotiation of peace between Chōshū and Satsuma, two powerful provinces that had long been hostile to each other. He then united them against the Bakufu, the government that supported the Tokugawa shogun. Ryōma frequently used the alias Saitani Umetarō (才谷梅太郎) during this period, as he was often hunted by Bakufu supporters, such as members of the Shinsengumi. He was ultimately attacked and murdered, along with his companion Nakaoka Shintarō, at an inn in Kyoto. Although many suspects have been named the identities of the assassins have never been confirmed.


	100. Chapter 97

I was hoping to get this chapter out earlier, but writing fight scenes is really hard. Sorry for the long wait and the hiatus.

* * *

**Chapter 97**

No human ever became interesting by not failing. The more you fail and recover and improve, the better you are as a person. Ever meet someone who's ALWAYS had EVERYTHING work out for them with ZERO struggle? They usually have the depth of a puddle. Or they don't exist." ― Chris Hardwick

The moonlight filtered through the paper of the closed windows, casting elongated shadows as the eerie glow of the moon struck furniture, creating gnarled and hungry monsters out of the shadows that hit the floor. While the men and the other oni clashed outside in a whirlwind of steel, all was silent inside as Nagumo and I stared each other down, each sizing the other up. Seconds ticked by unannounced, then a sudden jerk of movement set off the impending showdown. The air hissed as it was displaced by the downward swing of my naginata before the singing of steel as Nagumo blocked my attack in an easy movement. As we remained deadlocked, Nagumo's lips twitched upwards ever so slightly into an insufferable smug smirk. He opened his mouth to say something, but whatever it was, I never heard it. The moment he opened his mouth, he dropped his defense just enough for me to twist my body and slam him into the desk sitting against the bedroom wall as my naginata pushed his sword away. Before Nagumo's body hit the desk with a resounding crash, I bolted from the room and began sprinting out of headquarters and into the now quiet city of Kyoto.

The streets of the city this late at night were devoid, hollow, and empty. I knew that I would be putting myself at a disadvantage when the fight between me and Nagumo resumed on the city streets. If I had continued fighting in headquarters, then there was a real chance that if I was ever at a disadvantage that someone would come to my rescue. But out here, there was no one about and everyone would be too far away and too preoccupied with the other oni to be of any assistance. It was likely that if the battle between me and Nagumo did go sour then I would pay a heavy price as the others would arrive too late. But I wasn't suicidal. I had my reasons for coming out here. Last time Nagumo appeared at headquarters, he had pointed his blade at Ryota. The icy fear that swallowed me on that day was now driving every action I was taking. Despite the fact that I had Yamazaki-san take the children deeper into headquarters to avoid them getting caught up in the fight, there was always the chance Nagumo would threaten my children again. I wasn't going to risk it, and if in the end I would have to pay for my decision to have the battle out here then it would all be worth it as long as my children remained unharmed.

But that didn't mean that I had stripped myself of any and all advantages by having the setting of the battle away from everyone else. The unpaved streets of Kyoto meant there was loose dirt I could kick free to be used to blind Nagumo in desperate moments. Then the most important advantage I did gain by coming out into the empty streets was now I was no longer limited to just my naginata. By coming out into the devoid streets, I now had the use of the farewell gift Kenji-san had gifted me with before he left, my cherry bombs. Back at headquarters, the explosives would have caused unnecessary damage to our buildings and could even become a fire hazard. However, out here, there was no one on the streets right now and there was enough space to detonate my small explosives without fear of catching the other buildings.

Now using the little time I had gained by catching Nagumo off guard, I managed to set a cherry bomb in the ground before Nagumo arrived.

When Nagumo finally arrived at my location, he certainly looked furious, to put it kindly. His hair was now sticking up at odd angles and he seemed to carry large splinters of wood in his clothing, meaning that I probably needed a new table now too. His right hand was gripping his sword so tightly that the skin had gone pale enough for me to see the veins in his hands. He carried a silent snarl on his lips before the rage he was emanating seemed to vanish as he smoothed his features over, regaining control over his volatile emotions.

"I guess I should have expected that out of you." Nagumo finally said once anger was no longer visible on his brow. His voice now sounding flippant as he disguised his irritation at me. "After all, we're both fighting to win. Honor and fair play have no place in this battle."

"My, isn't it refreshing to actually hear someone say that out loud." I admitted, agreeing with him despite him being the enemy. Honor was meaningless when dead.

Nagumo let out a chuckle at my response.

"Pity we're on opposite sides. I certainly get the feeling we would have gotten along famously." he commented before readying his sword with a feral grin. "But no matter, you're coming with me this time. I will use the Higanbana's power to crush all those who dare stand in my way. Of course, starting with Chizuru."

Nagumo moved first, shooting at me with impressive speed with the point of his sword rushing towards my face in a flash of light before vanishing as it sailed over my head when I dropped to the ground. All I could see in front of me was Nagumo's unguarded stomach as I launched my own counterattack. Twirling the naginata, I whipped the shaft of the long weapon towards his stomach, hoping to catch him by surprise and to hopefully stun him, but all I caught was a wisp of cloth from his clothing as he used my right knee as a springboard to flip out of range. My right leg staggered from his weight and the combined force from the jump, causing a knee to hit the ground, rooting me in place. A silent grin erupted from his face as he rushed towards me again with his blade held high over his head, it was all over, or so in his mind.

With blinding speed I was incapable of before, I erected my naginata in front of me as a wall, stopping the blade from slicing into my shoulder before twisting my weapon to sweep his feet out from under him. He hit the dirt with a soft thump, sounding winded from his sudden fall. This was the chance I was waiting for! If I could just get him while he was stunned, but no, Nagumo was a rather crafty opponent. Hell would freeze over before he would enter a battle unprepared. As I prepared to leap towards him with the purpose of finishing him off, I was rudely interrupted by gunfire.

Diving out of the way, I tumbled to the ground whist dropping my naginata to roll out of the way of the bullet and before I could regain my senses, I could feel the cold muzzle of a pistol on the side of my temple. All I could do was slowly look up at the person holding the gun to my face as I broke out into cold sweat. Up above, Nagumo grinned victoriously. While he was a pureblood oni, as he stood above me he certainly did not look like one. Dirt stained the skin around his eyes as he panted with beads of sweat rolling down the side of his face. He didn't possess a single ounce of the regal aura Kazama had, nor did he seem to possess the endless strength of Amangiri. As Nagumo held a gun to my head, never before had he looked so human.

"A gun to your head and you just stop moving?" Nagumo snorted as he flaunted his victory with his smug voice while I was absorbed in my own thoughts. "I expected you to put up more of a fight before defeat, but I guess I overestimated you. How does it feel? To know that your death is at my fingertips?"

As much as I didn't like that mocking tone he was leveling toward me, I was glad to hear it. He was convinced that he won, but it wasn't over. He made it known that he needed me alive and the fact that he didn't pistol-whip me to knock me unconscious meant I could still do something. He may have had a gun to my head, but I knew for a fact that he wouldn't shoot me in the head.

"Nothing to say?" Nagumo continued to gloat as I remained silent. "I guess there isn't much to say once you've been defeated."

"Who says I'm done?" I whispered after he was done speaking. There was no way I was going to let him have the last word.

Lashing out with my leg, I hooked one of his feet with my ankles and pulled his feet from under him before proceeding to grapple with him. My naginata was too far away for me to grab and would be useless in this situation. He would be far too close for me to use my naginata anyways. As we rolled around in the dirt, I tried to pull the pistol from his hand and even went as far as to bite his wrist in an attempt to get him to release the gun. However, in the end, it didn't matter to me when he didn't release his hold on the gun. As we tumbled with our limbs intertwined, I suddenly released him and pushed him away so I could roll in the opposite direction. This was my win. Nagumo continued tumbling until he came to a stop a few feet away, right on top of the cherry bomb I had laid right before the battle commenced. In a split second, a small explosion followed by a cloud of dirt flying into the air filled my view. There was no way he could have survived that.

While this fight wasn't long, it felt like it had drain the very energy right out of me. There was no chance to catch my breath during the fight. It was just fast and dirty. And while I'd love to sit and just catch my breath, headquarters was getting sieged by Kazama and his team when I left. If the fight there wasn't over yet then they could surely use what little aid I could provide them, whether it was just tending to the injured or actually jumping into the fight myself. Getting to my feet, I dusted the dirt from my body and I turned to retrieve my naginata from the ground before I was interrupted once again by gunfire.

At first I didn't even realize I had been shot. It had happen so fast that I couldn't keep up with what was happening until the pain began to bloom. Then like a flower blooming, the pain appeared slowly before instantly searing through my left lower thigh near my kneecap like an angered flame god. Hot blood poured from the wound as I collapsed. There was no exit wound on the back of my leg. The bullet had struck bone and had most likely fractured my femur.

"You truly are a crafty one, but I'm afraid your wits aren't enough this time." Nagumo said as he slowly emerged from the dust cloud. The clothing on his upper left side of his body had been burned off only to reveal the angry red skin of his chest healing as the blackened, dead skin dropped to the floor. "I saw you laying that bomb before the fight started. All I had to do was set it off before I hit it. True, I would be dead if I was in the epicenter of the blast. Even the superb healing of an oni wouldn't be able to mend a decapitated body, but if I was just grazed by the blast… Well, that's a different story all together isn't it?"

Fuck.

Only if I had some sort of dagger, a shiv, or just anything sharp on me when we were grappling… Only if I had managed to stab him. I miscalculated and I was alone. It was only one mistake but the mistake was fatal. It was over.

Nagumo approached me with slow steps, undoubtedly while eyeing my face scrunched up in pain with sadistic entertainment. With an easy movement, Nagumo then tossed my limp body over his shoulder like a sack of rice.

However, even though I had lost this fight, Lady Luck still seemed to be on my side still. In the middle of me trying to kill him and him trying to subdue me, we both forgot something very important: Gunshots and detonating explosives tended to create loud sounds, which attract attention. Even though all the members of the Shinsengumi were still at headquarters dealing with Kazama and his friends, I wasn't alone as I thought.

"What's going on? What the—Shizuka-chan?!" a familiar voice exclaimed as rushed footsteps came to a halt in front of Nagumo. "It's you! What the hell did you do to her, you bastard?!"

Now, I don't know why Heisuke was out wandering the streets of Kyoto so late, but I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Tch! And here I thought it would go smoothly without that bothersome fly you call a husband around." Nagumo huffed in irritation before unceremoniously dumping me onto the ground like a sack of trash to make himself battle ready as he once again drew his blade.

"Don't just drop her on the floor, you bastard! What the hell did you do to her?! Why is there so much blood?!" Heisuke snarled as he drew his sword in a fluid yet angry motion.

Nagumo didn't answer verbally. All he did was give Heisuke an eerie smile, so I took it upon myself to tell and warn Heisuke.

"Careful…" I murmured as loud as I could from my weakened position. I was losing too much blood too quickly. Did the bullet graze an artery? "He has a gun…"

That earned me a hard kick on the back of my head from my captor before the world faded to black.

* * *

I didn't understand anything when my consciousness trickled back. The black darkness behind my eyelids seemed to flash different colors before swirling and transforming into unidentifiable shapes. There were sounds in the background too, but I couldn't make any logical sense of them. It sounded like there were birds chirping followed by the quiet mumblings of giants. It was only when the realization that I had been shot returned to my mind did I truly wake. I snapped my eyes open and shot up into sitting position only to regret it when the blinding light made my eyes burn and my head explode in pain.

"Shizu-chan!" a voice cried in surprise at my sudden movement. The voice was unidentifiable with my massive headache, but it didn't take a genius to figure out who it was. Only Otou-san called me by that nickname.

A hand then gently pushed me back onto whatever I was laying on before. "No sudden movements, you were just shot last night." the owner of the hand then said. I didn't need to guess that voice either. No matter how disoriented I was, I would always recognize Souji's voice.

"Otou-san… Souji…" I murmured to myself as reassurance that everything was fine, before I reopened my eyes, though sensibly slower this time around.

I was back in Souji and my shared bedroom. The soft thing I was laying on was our futon. Otou-san was sitting on the floor on my left side and Souji was sitting on the futon to my right while the kids were nowhere in sight. Having the kids nowhere in sight was a bit worrisome, but it wasn't something to rip my hair out over. The fact the Souji and Otou-san weren't panicking told me that someone else was watching them right now to give us a little piece and quiet.

"How are you feeling Shizu-chan?" Otou-san asked me in a concerned voice as he put a hand on top of my own.

I merely groaned in response before turning to face him, only to have the broken desk catch my eye.

Stupid Nagumo now owed me a new desk…! Heisuke!

Only by seeing that broken desk was I reminded that I wouldn't be here right now if Heisuke hadn't come to my rescue. I had been knocked unconscious before the real fight between Heisuke and Nagumo had begun. What happened and was Heisuke uninjured?

I shot back up in an instant only to be pushed back down onto the futon by Souji again as he wore an annoyed and displeased face at my actions.

"Heisuke!" I said when I wasn't allowed to sit up. "What happened?! The last I remembered was Heisuke preparing to fight Nagumo. Was he hurt?!"

"He's fine. He gave Kaoru a black eye and scared him off before carrying you back to headquarters. He's back with Itou-san and his men now." Souji answered me with a sigh as he ran his hand through his hair before his expression grew dark and his eyes became bright with anger. "Which begs the question: Why did he have to carry you back? I thought I told you to stay in the room." he snapped.

Really? He was going to be short with me now? I was just shot last night! I should have a chance to recover before he could have a go at me!

"Oh, so you would have preferred me to get shot in front of our kids?!" I snapped back in an instant with my temper flaring. I just went through shit and he was going to do this now?

"They wouldn't have seen anything since you sent them away with Yamazaki-kun!" Souji retorted with just as much heat. "Instead of sending them away with Yamazaki-kun, you should have just taken the kids and gone deeper into headquarters and left Yamazaki-kun to deal with Kaoru!"

"Oh, yes that's real logical!" came my uncontrolled sarcastic reply. "Take the kids and run even though Nagumo would have just ignored Yamazaki-san to target me. Let's make it so that the kids can be around when Nagumo comes for me!"

"Well, at least then someone wouldn't have to carry you back while you're unconscious and covered in your own blood! I thought you were dead at first!" Souji finally yelled at me before he stood up and stormed out of the room, leaving me speechless and at disbelief at my own behavior. Since when have I ever been so hostile?

The room fell silent and I remained motionless until I accidently brushed my hand against my wound, causing me to hiss in pain. At that point, Otou-san, whom I forgotten was still in the room, sighed before taking my small hands into his own. His face looked tired and ten years older.

"Shizu-chan…" Otou-san started off with his warm yet muted voice. "You need to understand why Souji lost his temper with you. After we chased off Kazama and his entourage, Souji rushed back here only to discover an empty bedroom with a broken desk to reveal signs of a struggle. The children were gone and you were nowhere in sight. It took us a while to figure out that the children were safe with Yamazaki-kun and by then Souji was about ready to start tearing up all the city's streets to find you. And then, right as he was getting ready to leave headquarters, Toudo-kun returns with your limp, bloody body in his arms. We all thought you were dead."

"I…" I said before I began to sniffle quietly. I was quick to wipe away my tears in hopes Otou-san wouldn't notice, but Otou-san always noticed these things no matter how hard I tried to hide it. "It's just… Last time Nagumo was here, he nearly killed Ryota just because he was nearby. I couldn't risk something like that happening again. I wouldn't risk it. So I did what I thought was best…"

"I know, I know." Otou-san said as he pulled me into a comforting, one-armed hug. "Souji knows this too, but still can't help but be mad. You scared him. Just give him some time. For now, you need to rest and recover. Ryota and the twins are with Toshi and Sannan-kun while Nagakura-kun and Harada-kun are right outside the bedroom in case anything happens. Yukimura-kun is also nearby if you need anything too."

"I… Okay." I said with tired resignation before I allowed myself to drift back off into sleep in Otou-san's hug.

* * *

It was small hands kneading my upper arm and the quiet sound of whining that awoke me the second time for the day. By the time I opened my eyes for the second time, the orange glow of the sun setting filled the room.

"Okaa-san, hungry!" Ryota said the moment he saw me open my eyes before poking me some more. "Aki and Mi hungry."

What?! Oh God!

I had pretty much been passed out for the entire day! Both Akiko and Mizuki were still dependent on my breast milk. Throw in the hours I had been passed out during the night and it would be nearly eighteen hours since I last fed them. They must have been starving.

"Yare, yare, no need to panic so much, Shizuka-chan." another voice next to me said, causing me to jump in surprise. I hadn't expected Inoue-san to be in here to. He cuddled my two daughters in his arms to silence their whining before continuing to address me. "Toshi-san had the foresight to hire a wet nurse for the day, so they have eaten. However, the wet nurse has left already and the girls are hungry again. You'll need to feed them."

"Yeah. Got it." I said before slapping the sleepiness out of my face.

I picked up the nursing pillow, which Ryota seemed to have gotten for me while I was conversing with Inoue-san, and placed it on my lap before retrieving the girls from Inoue-san. Inoue-san then gave me an encouraging smile and made sure the girls were comfortable on my lap before he left the room, closing the door behind him, to give me some privacy to breastfeed. The girls instantly latched on once given the chance. Despite being fed by a wet nurse, they still appeared to be pretty hungry.

"See, see! They hungry!" Ryota chirped as he settled down by my side. He looked to me while speaking and pointing down at his sisters. Then once he was sure that I heard what he had to say, he poked Akiko's chubby cheek to entice a small whine out of her.

"I know. Okaa-san's sorry she slept so long. Do you know where Otou-san is?"

I hadn't seen Souji since our little spat in the morning. Was he still mad at me? Where did he run off to?

It seemed that Ryota didn't seem to know either. He shook his little head at my question before he proceeded to poke Mizuki's cheek as she was eating. Unlike Akiko, Mizuki didn't seem to mind the poking as much and ignored Ryota in favor of eating. Ryota didn't seem happy with the lack of reaction and swapped to poking Akiko's cheek again, which resulted in a very frustrated sounding whine.

"Ryota, don't bother your sisters while they eat."

"Boo." was all he said in response to my light scolding. He didn't look very upset by it at all.

A tall shadow then appeared on the closed door, blocking some of the light, a few minutes later. Ryota, whom seemed bored of watching his little sisters by them, jumped up when he saw the shadow and ran to the door with excitement. When the doors did open, he glomped the legs whist squealing in delight.

"Whoa there Ryota. Careful not to trip Tou-san." the owner of the pair of legs said with the iconic teasing tone as he stepped into the bedroom.

Souji looked much better than before. That anger he carried with him when he stormed out of the room earlier was gone. He carried a naginata in one hand, but I didn't recognize it. It wasn't MY naginata and no one else at headquarters used one. Which brings up a question: What happened to my own naginata? I had dropped it the night before in the fight with Nagumo and that was the last I saw of it. When Souji saw me staring at him and the naginata with curiosity, he offered me a friendly smile. That was a good sign. He wasn't angry anymore, or at least he wasn't angry at me anymore.

As soon as Ryota released this father's legs, Souji sat down next to me while laying the naginata on his right side. Souji wordlessly brushed some of my hair away from my eyes before he proceed to steal what felt like a desperate kiss from my lips.

"Is your head feeling better?" Souji asked tenderly.

He watched me nod my head quietly before his eyes fell on my injured thigh. He closed his eyes and tucked his face into the crook of my neck for a few seconds, breathing in my scent slowly. When his face retreated from my neck, he closed his eyes once again with a pained expression before pulling me as close as possible to him.

"I—"

"No, don't." I interrupted when he started to speak. I leaned into his chest and closed my eyes to enjoy being so close to him. "You don't need to apologize. I know."

"But still… I shouldn't have snapped."

"And I should have handled the situation better. I shouldn't have goaded you on. You were just worried and you didn't know how to handle it."

Souji sighed before turning his head slightly, his attention now on the naginata he brought in the room with him. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed his mouth again before any sound could come out and looked to me again.

"What is it?" I asked. He had something to say, but it also seem like he didn't know how to word it.

"I know you are attached to your naginata because it was a family heirloom Tsune-san passed on to you, but…" Souji started before he took another deep breath, indicating something happened to it.

"What? What happened to it?"

"When I went to go collect it last night, I found it in pieces." Souji finished with a look of regret when he undoubtedly saw my face fall. "The blade was shattered and the wooden shaft was burned. It look like it was caught in a blast of some sort."

"Oh." was all I could say.

Of all the things that could horribly backfire on me. I had dropped my naginata in the middle of the battle and I didn't have it with me when the bomb blew. Nagumo said that he had set the bomb off before he could roll into it. He must have used my fallen naginata to do so. Despite the naginata just being an object, hearing this news made me feel like I had let Tsune-san down and also made me feel like I had just lost an old friend.

"I know a new naginata won't feel the same as the one Tsune-san passed to you, but you need a weapon…" Souji said as his eyes trailed back to the naginata he brought in with him. "I went out and got this one for you earlier. I know it doesn't have the same value to you as your old one, but this one's quality should be on par with your old one."

"Thank you…" I felt touched by what Souji did and while this naginata didn't have some long history like the one Tsune-san passed to me, it felt just as important and valuable.

"That's not all." Souji then added before he reached into his clothing and pulled out a long, black-lacquered object. It was a kaiken[1]. "I had this for a while and I was supposed to give it to you during the night of our wedding, but…"

He didn't want to. The kaiken was used by women who married samurai for self-defense or for ritual suicide if the situation ever called for it. The reason he never gave it to me was probably because he never wanted me to be in a situation where I had to use it, but now it couldn't be helped. In Souji's mind, my weapon broke last night in the middle of the fight and I was left defenseless. He must have wanted me to at least have a backup weapon if that were to happen again.

"I don't know how to use it." I stated plainly after Souji trailed off to take his focus off his discomfort.

Souji sighed at my words before sending a small smile my way with a shake of his head. He tucked the kaiken into to my futokoro[2] while carefully avoiding jostling the girls as they ate.

"I'll teach you after you heal up and we move headquarters."

Wait… Move headquarters? Why in the world did we need to do that?

Some hilarious expression must have appeared on my face because Souji couldn't help but say in a teasing voice, "What? Did nobody tell you that the monks kicked us out of their temple? I heard from a certain someone that we're terrible house guests."

* * *

[1] A kaiken (懐剣) is a 20–25 cm (8–10 in) long, single or double-edged dagger without ornamental fittings housed in a plain mount. It was once carried by men and women of the samurai class in Japan. It was useful for self-defense in indoor spaces where the long-blade katana and, intermediate sword, wakizashi were inconvenient. Women carried them in their futokoro or in the sleeve pouch (tamoto) for self-defense and for ritual suicide by slashing the veins in the left side of the neck. When a samurai woman married, she was expected to carry a kaiken with her when she moved in with her husband.

[2] A pocket like space in a kimono.


	101. Chapter 98

So, this chapter is a bit shorter than usual and probably not all that interesting. But the function of this chapter is just to provide some information and to make sure there is a small break between the action in the chapters, especially with what will happen in the next chapter. Any guesses on what on how a certain assassination will go and what will happen with Heisuke? Okita's not out of commission like he was in the game and anime and Sannan isn't a rasetsu in this. And on an other note, I kind of feel like Shizuka is becoming a bit inconsistent. Is it just me or is she really becoming inconsistent? If she is, I would appreciate it if some one would point out where so I can go back to fix it at a later time. I will rewrite entire chapters if I have to.

* * *

**Chapter 98**

"Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it." ― Mark Twain

One would think that the Shinsengumi was only moving headquarters because the oni attacked us at on temple grounds, but in reality, that was only one of the variables that led up to the move. The main reason the monks of Nishi Hongwanji temple were kicking us out was because the Shinsengumi had the aggravating habit of practicing with firearms on temple grounds. A temple was a house of prayer and hearing guns and cannons going off every morning… Well, it would be enough to unsettle anybody, to put it kindly. As much as Chizuru-chan would love to blame herself for the reason we had to move, her argument didn't really stand up, especially since the monks of the temple had apparently long commissioned a new mansion in Fudou Village before the oni attacked us. Which lead up to the situation we had now. We were moving in two days and we weren't done packing for the move yet. I would personally help with the packing, but… Having a bullet wound in my leg really made it hard to move around let lone pick up things since my hands were always busy holding crutches.

I breathed in the warm June air before letting out a long sigh as I sat on the engawa[1] outside the bedroom. Everyone was rushing to be prepared for the move in the following days. Well mostly everyone. Behind me in the bedroom, Souji was taking a nap with our children. The twins sleeping together on their own little strip of the futon while Ryota was napping on top of Souji's chest. Ryota also happened to be leaving a small puddle of drool on Souji's chest since he did fall asleep with his mouth hanging open, but that wouldn't bother Souji. Since becoming a parent, dealing with his kids' bodily fluids became something he did on a daily basis. Things that may have once made him freak out, like urine, no longer did. Young kids did wet the bed pretty often. Souji, himself, was lying on his back with a hand on Ryota's back. To anyone else, Souji would appear to be asleep. He was silent and breathing slowly like most would. But I knew better to think that he was completely asleep. When Souji was truly asleep, he would actually have a faint snore. However, I wasn't about to "wake" Souji up so he could continue packing.

Since being shot in the leg, Souji had taken it upon himself to take care of all the packing I was in charge of. The medical wing was already packed and good to go because of him. As for our room, the only things left to pack were my mass of journals on the bookshelf and the futon that he and the kids currently were napping on. He deserved to get some rest.

"I didn't work so hard to get here!" a loud voice cut through the quiet atmosphere and drew my attention towards the courtyard.

"Shh! Shinpachi, not so loud. The men should never overhear their captain say such words." followed an admonishing tone.

I heard a groan of annoyance come from Souji before he peeked open one irritated eye to see me smile apologetically at him. He let out a small huff and gave me a small smile in return before closing his eye to grumble a little in annoyance at the bickering we could hear in the background.

It didn't take a genius to figure out who was bickering. That loud yell, Shinpachi-san's name being mentioned, and that slightly loud but calming voice of reason. It could only be two people. Besides, the voices were familiar beyond belief. I would have to be deaf and dumb if I couldn't figure out the two men that were having a debate nearby. My guess was instantly confirmed when Shinpachi-san and Sano-san turned the corner with boxes piled so high in their arms that the stacks towered over their heads.

"Oh, so I'm not allowed to have my own opinion?" Shinpachi-san snorted in response to Sano-san's shushing.

"No, that's not it. How do you think it would affect moral of the men if they hear a captain complaining about the latest change. Sure, I'm not too happy about what happened, but yelling it out to the world won't help the situation."

"Yeah, but still—"

"Could you two possibly be any louder?" I cut in in a soft scolding tone with a single finger held to my lips in a shushing gesture, causing the two muscle-heads to pause and look my way. At least they looked guilty for being so loud. "My kids are asleep and I don't want to deal with three angry little faces if you should wake them with your deafening voices."

"Oh, Shizuka-chan!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed whist putting on a chipper façade, but that obviously wasn't going to work on me since I did hear him bickering with Sano-san earlier.

"Sorry about that." Sano-san said as he put the boxes he was carrying down before elbowing Shinpachi-san in the stomach, drawing out a loud "oof" from said man and a dirty look. Before saying anything else, Sano-san peeked behind me into the room to see if the kids were still asleep and when he was satisfied with his investigation, he turned his attention back on me. "So how's that leg feelin'?"

"It could be better," but considering that instead of just getting a hole blasted into my leg that I could have also been kidnapped again, "it also could be so much worse, so you won't hear me complaining. So, mind telling me what that bickering was about earlier? Something about 'not working so hard to get to a certain place'?"

"Erm… You heard that?" Shinpachi-san asked, suddenly looking like he rather be anywhere but here. He looked like the kid who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "It's…nothing important."

"Or so you say." I said while patting the void spot on the engawa beside me as an invitation to sit down, only continuing when Shinpachi-san took a seat beside me. Now he looked like he was afraid that I was going to eat him or something like that. "But for as long as I've known you, you've always been a pretty laid back person. The only time you complain that loudly is when something doesn't sit well with you. I doubt whatever you're complaining about is hardly 'nothing'. What's bothering you?"

"Well… I not sure I should be tellin' this to you." Shinpachi-san muttered while looking to Sano-san for help, but all Sano-san did was the unhelpful gesture of shrugging his shoulders.

"Why not just tell her." Sano-san then suggested when it became clear that Shinpachi-san wasn't going to say anything. "True, Shizuka is Kondou-san's daughter, but she's also her own person."

"Sure, just make me feel like a complete ass. If I say what I want to then it'll feel like I'm bashin' her chichi-ue in front of her." Shinpachi-san grumbled, looking away from me when I caught his eye for a brief second.

So the issue was with Otou-san and Shinpachi-san didn't want to say anything because I was technically the daughter of the man he was currently having an issue with. But, Shinpachi-san didn't have to say anything. There were already enough clues for me to figure out what he was complaining about. And honestly, Shinpachi-san didn't have to watch his words so much around me. Like what Sano-san said before, I am my own person with my own thoughts and opinions.

"It's about what happened three days ago, isn't it?" I said as a statement instead of a question. "It's about the Shinsengumi being promoted to hatamoto status and Otou-san's attitude towards all of this."

Shinpachi-san didn't answer, but the fact he bit his lower lip with that guilty look said it all.

Before the Shinsengumi got promoted to hatamoto status, we were only philosophically aligned with the Shogun, but now the Shinsengumi had become direct vassals of the Shogun. This created friction within the corps itself. Despite the fact the Shinsengumi clearly supported the Shogun, there were actually many warriors that didn't approve of the Shogun because of the Harris Treaty. The Harris Treaty, signed on July 29, 1858, was an agreement that secured commercial and diplomatic privileges for the United States in Japan and constituted the basis for Western economic penetration of Japan. Negotiated by Townsend Harris, first U.S. consul to Japan, it provided for the opening of five ports to U.S. trade, in addition to those opened in 1854 as a result of the Treaty of Kanagawa; it also exempted U.S. citizens living in the ports from the jurisdiction of Japanese law, guaranteed them religious freedom, and arranged for diplomatic representation and a tariff agreement between the United States and Japan.[2]

Since the Harris Treaty in 1858, the Shogun's approval rate had plummeted because the Shogun gave in to a foreign power and opened five ports for trade. Because the Shogunate gave in to a foreign power, the Shogun was seen as weak by many. In their eyes, the Shogun wasn't doing its job of keeping the foreigners at bay. Instead the Shogun was allowing foreigners into Japan. The weak had no place being in power.

Then there was those soldiers, like Sano-san and Shinpachi-san, who did not join the Shinsengumi just to become vassals of some lord they would never met. Those men joined because they wanted to make a difference and believed they could. They joined to serve and protect the townspeople from the ronin running amuck in the streets. To suddenly become vassals of the Shogun cheapened their service. To them, the moment the Shinsengumi became direct vassals of the Shogun was the moment the Shogunate took all the credit for the things they had accomplished.

In fact, this was also the very reason the Shinsengumi shrunk in size some more. There were ten men who decided they wanted to leave the corps because they specifically said they did not join to become Tokugawa retainers. Those ten men requested to join Itou, but because of a previous agreement Itou had with Otou-san and Hijikata-san, Itou wasn't allowed to accept the defectors. Itou told those ten men to get permission from the Lord of Aizu. This was where things got messy. So as four of those ten men waited at Aizu headquarters for hours to get an audience, Inoue-san and other members of the Shinsengumi went to Aizu headquarters and slaughtered them. The official Shinsengumi report then hid this by stating that those four men committed seppuku. As for the remaining six, they were expelled from the corps.[3]

And to top all of this off, there was Otou-san's attitude towards all of this. As much as I loved Otou-san, he did have flaws I was not blind to. The biggest flaw that he possessed was that his ego was easily inflated. True, he did deserve to be happy about his achievements, but that did not give him the permission to forget his humble origins and it especially did not give him permission to act as if he was superior to everyone else. And Hijikata-san was no help in this either. Hijikata-san's attitude actually promoted Otou-san's behavior by making Otou-san believe that he was the "chosen one". At this point, I was just glad that Sannan-san could keep things in perspective, especially since he was not all that fond of the Shogun to begin with.

"Like Sano-san said before, I am my own person. And as much as I would like to be happy for Otou-san and support him, I also find the recent developments distasteful." I stated, enticing a look of surprise from Shinpachi-san, though not so much from Sano-san. Sano-san must have already expected what was going on in my head.

"Huh?" Shinpachi-san blurted out, making himself sound somewhat unintelligent as he did so.

"I don't like the idea of the Shinsengumi becoming direct vassals of the Shogun. The Shinsengumi exists to keep the city of Kyoto safe. We shouldn't be on anybody's side except for the people's side. Besides, by becoming vassals of the Shogun, the Shogunate takes credit for everything we accomplish. Forget the all the hard work and the sacrifices the Shinsengumi had to accomplish to get where it is today. When people look at the Shinsengumi now, they won't see the individuals that comprise this group. All they will see is the Shogunate." I explained before my eyes briefly drifted back to where Souji was laying. He had gone as stiff as a board. He was undoubted eavesdropping on the conversation. "But that's not the only thing that's bothering me. Otou-san has recently grown a big head, hasn't he? I love him and all, but that doesn't mean I'm blind to his faults. Just because he has become so successful doesn't mean that he should strut around with the attitude that he's better than everyone else. Despite our differences, we're all just people living under the same blue sky, right?" I finished with my voice hitching inaudibly towards the end as an unpleasant thought crept into the back of my mind like an unwelcomed guest. The thought that had slipped into the back of my mind was the one thought had been bothering me for the longest time and I did want to say more, but…

"Right, Right!" Shinpachi-san instantly jumped in to agree with me once he knew what I was getting at, instantly distracting me from my latest unpleasant thought. He grinned at me before rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "You know, I thought just because you're Kondou-san's daughter, you wouldn't understand."

"It's Shizuka." Sano-san said to Shinpachi-san. "You should know better than to think that she wouldn't be able to opposing side. She's pretty empathetic."

"Yeah, Yeah. You say that now, but you never truly know." Shinpachi-san replied with a wave of dismissal. He then took a peek behind me when he noticed Sano-san was looking into the bedroom. Shinpachi-san's jaw dropped when he saw that Souji was "napping" instead of helping pack like everyone else was right now. He spluttered nonsensical sounds for a few seconds before loudly complaining at me. "Wha? That's not fair! Why is Souji nappin' instead of packin' like everyone else? I thought you were fair! Shizuka-chan, make him get up and do his fair share of work!"

"Oh, leave Souji alone." I answered, going along with the flow of the conversation so I could be stop thinking about what was truly bothering me. Shinpachi-san's jaw dropped again at my answer and Sano-san snickered at the reaction. "Souji's been working hard too. He took care of everything I was in charge of packing because of my injury. He deserves every bit of rest he gets. Granted I am probably spoiling him a bit since he could do a bit more, but I don't really see a problem."

"I do." Shinpachi-san mumbled under his breath like a petulant child. "When will I get a woman who'll spoil me rotten?"

Of course, at that point, Sano-san couldn't help but take his own jab at his friend with a peevish grin. "When one finds you attractive enough." he said.

"What?! Sano, you traitor!"

"Oh, come on. I'm sure a woman will eventually find you attractive enough. Well, as long as they don't look at your face first."

"What's that supposed to mean?! I'm plenty handsome! Any woman would be lucky enough to end up with his incredible hunk of man." Shinpachi-san retorted back as he did the Shinpachi thing and flexed his bazillion muscles.

"Oh, this reminds me." I butted in, interrupting Shinpachi-san flexing. Though, I will say that his chiseled muscles are very impressive. "Chinatsu swung by earlier. She was looking for you, Shinpachi-san."

"Really?" Shinpachi-san replied. He was still unaware of the massive crush she had on him. And people said that I was dense when it came to romance. At least I could tell she had a crush. "What did she want?"

"Nothing really. She just wanted to talk to you for a bit."

"I'll bet." Sano-san said with a sly grin. Thankful Sano-san wasn't blind to these things. "She's gotten really pretty these past years, hasn't she? She is a bit tan, but I don't think that really matters much."

No, that dark skin didn't matter at all. In my opinion, dark skin could be just as beautiful as pale skin. So what if Japanese culture said that women have to have pale skin to be beautiful. Women could be just as beautiful with tan skin.

"Ah, the wonders of puberty." I then commented with that same sly smile that Sano-san was now wearing. "She certainly isn't that same skinny, twelve year old girl anymore. She's a fifteen year old WOMAN with great curves now. She has some decent sized breasts now, each just large enough to fill a grown man's hands. And THAT butt. I'm even jealous. I had to go through two pregnancies to get a butt as great as hers."

"Wha…? Shizuka-chan! I can't believe you're talkin' about your sister like this!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed, clearly not expecting me to speak like a guy.

"What? It's all true." I said with a carefree shrug. "Besides, it's not like she needs me to protect her from men. She has a fiery personality and if she doesn't like someone, she can chase them off on her own with a bamboo rod. Well, back to the main point. She was looking for you earlier and you weren't here. You should make it up to her by taking her out to dinner. You don't want to lose the admiration of someone who appreciates all the hard work you do in patrolling the city, right?"

"Yeah! I'll take her out to dinner! That's a great idea—WAIT! I have no money right now" Shinpachi-san blurted out as he pulled out his coin purse only to count the measly number of coins left inside. "I went drinking with some of the men earlier this week and all the drinks were on me!"

"Here, I'll fund you." Sano-san jumped in as he pulled his own coin purse and tossed it to Shinpachi-san. "Now you should take her somewhere nice tonight. Since I'm paying for this outing, no cheap places."

"Right! You the best Sano!" Shinpachi exclaimed as he bounced up on his feet and bolted off of temple grounds, leaving the boxes he was carrying before behind.

Sano-san snorted in amusement before he grinned back at me. That was just too easy. Shinpachi-san didn't even know that we just set him up on a date with Chinatsu. Shinpachi-san was just too easy to string along sometimes and it was definitely hilarious. I think I even heard some snickering from Souji who was "sleeping".

"Shinpachi is really just a simpleton sometimes, isn't he?" Sano-san finally said when he was done laughing at what we just pulled.

"Yeah, but there's nothing wrong with that, now is there?"

"Not at all. Shinpachi wouldn't Shinpachi if he was any other way." Sano-san said before moving to pick up the boxes Shinpachi-san left behind when he bolted. "Now I should really finish packing if we want to be ready to move in two days. Souji, you should help too. I heard you laughing there. I know you're awake."

"Well, aren't you perceptive today?" Souji said as he opened both of his eyes to look at Sano-san.

"Oi! What's that supposed to mean?" Sano-san retorted looking irked, but Souji merely ignored him.

Souji instead took this time to ease Ryota off his chest and onto the futon in a slow and easy movement as not to wake him. Once Ryota and soundly asleep on the futon rather than on his chest, Souji sat up on the futon and pulled out a towel from nowhere and proceed wipe the drool from his chest.

Sano-san sighed at all of this when he perceived that he wasn't going to get an answer from Souji. Figuring that his time was better spent getting things packed, Sano-san gave me a friendly nod and rolled his eyes at Souji before he left with the stack of boxes.

When Sano-san was out of sight, Souji vacated the spot he was occupying on the futon to steal the seat next to me. He didn't speak at first. As he dangled his legs off the wooden platform, he probed me with a curious glance, his eyes looking me over before meeting my eyes for a brief moment, causing me to instantly break eye contact by turning my head the other way when I started to feel uncomfortable. But as soon as I turned away, his hands quickly found my cheek and he turned my head back towards him with a gentle caress as his other hand brushed away the hair that had fallen into my face.

"What's bothering you?" Souji asked with a tender voice as he raised my face slightly so he could make eye contact. "There's something you didn't say while you were talking to Shinpachi-san earlier. What is it?"

I opened my mouth but quickly closed it again as I shook my head. "No, it's nothing."

He heard that hitch in my voice earlier? How? I barely even heard it myself and I was the one who made that sound.

"It's not nothing. I heard that small hitch in your voice. You have a tendency to hide your emotions better than that. So whatever's bothering you is pretty big. What you told Shinpachi-san and Sano-san is miniscule compared to what you're thinking about now, isn't it?" he said nailing the problem head on. "What is it?"

"I…" I managed to say before I hiccupped when I desperately suppressed the sob that had somehow worked its way around the mask I had put on. I paused to take a quick deep breath and to blink away the wet substance that had appeared at the corners of my eyes. Well shit, things certainly got heavy fast. I wanted to avoid this and had managed to avoid this all this time, but now there was no more running away. "You know how my mind is from the…"

"Yeah." Souji said to encourage me to speak as his hand wiped the corners of my eyes.

"The Shogunate didn't exist anymore when I was born the first time around in the future. While I don't know much about Japanese history and what I do know isn't very detailed, I do know enough. In my first life, I had heard briefly about a group of brave men led by a man named Kondou Isami and a man named Hijikata Toshizo. This group disappeared when the Shogunate was overthrown in the years known as the Bakumatsu[4]. I have no idea when the Bakumatsu did occur, but then Sakamoto Ryōma's name started to appear in main politics... It's only a matter of time." I finish with a shaky voice before I pushed my face into the crook of Souji's neck. "I can't ignore it like I use to anymore. I know it's only a matter of time before people start dying. It's like Death is going to start spinning a roulette to pick who he'll take and when."

The dam broke and everything was gushing out now. It was the feeling of trying to breath but not being able to get enough air. I was able to ignore this for the longest time, staying in denial as certain events I knew were important occurred, but it was impossible now. I could feel each second ticking by. I didn't even know all the details of the future events and it already felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I felt like I had to do something, but in reality, what could I do? The buildup for the Bakumatsu had been happening since even before I was born the second time around. The harsh reality was that there was NOTHING I could do.

A moment of silence passed before Souji spoke again.

"I won't let anyone die." Souji said boldly as he held me in a firm embrace. "I promise—"

"No…" I interrupted him with a plea. "Don't promise anything. Please…don't make any promises you won't be able to keep. Please…"

"I promise."

* * *

[1] In Japanese architecture, an engawa (縁側 or 掾側) is a typically wooden strip of flooring immediately before windows and storm shutters inside traditional Japanese rooms. Recently this term has also come to mean the veranda outside the room as well, which was traditionally referred to as a nure'en (濡れ縁).

[2] Encyclopedia Britannica, Harris-Treaty

[3] Hillsborough, Romulus. _Shinsengumi: The Shogun's last Samurai Corps. Springfield_: Tuttle Publishing, 2005. 119-20. Print.

[4] Bakumatsu (幕末 Bakumatsu, "Late Tokugawa Shogunate", literally "closing curtain") refers to the final years of the Edo period when the Tokugawa Shogunate ended. Between 1853 and 1867 Japan ended its isolationist foreign policy known as _Sakoku_ and changed from a feudal Tokugawa Shogunate to the pre-modern empire of the Meiji government. The major ideological-political divide during this period was between the pro-imperial nationalists called _ishin shishi_ and the Shogunate forces, which included the elite Shinsengumi swordsmen.

Although these two groups were the most visible powers, many other factions attempted to use the chaos of Bakumatsu to seize personal power. Furthermore, there were two other main driving forces for dissent: First, growing resentment on the part of the tozama daimyo (or outside lords), and second, growing anti-western sentiment following the arrival of Matthew C. Perry. The first related to those lords who had fought against Tokugawa forces at the Battle of Sekigahara in 1600 and had from that point on been excluded permanently from all powerful positions within the Shogunate. The second was to be expressed in the phrase sonnō jōi, or "revere the Emperor, expel the barbarians". The turning point of the Bakumatsu was during the Boshin War and the Battle of Toba-Fushimi when pro-Shogunate forces were defeated.


	102. Chapter 99

So it begins... or at least I wanted it to, but this chapter got a bit lengthy before any of the real action could take place... But Itou's assassination should take place in the next chapter (hopefully). The only assassination actually mentioned in this chapter is Sakamoto Ryoma. Sorry! I really tried to add more, but it got too long for my liking.

* * *

**Chapter 99**

"It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets." ― Voltaire

A dull sounding clang sent vibrations through the air as my practice naginata met with Souji's bokken. Just when I thought I had managed to block his onslaught of attacks, Souji managed to get his bokken under my guard. He then twisted his wooden sword with ease, loosening my grip on my practice weapon and before I knew it…

Clatter.

I dropped my weapon the stone-paved floor of the courtyard, leaving me unsure of what I was to do. I looked wide-eyed back up at Souji to show him I was at a lost, but instead of the gentle reassuring answer I was used to getting from Souji, I saw him preparing to thrust his bokken at me.

"Shizuka, there's no time to think or to feel lost! Use your kaiken!" Souji barked at me.

I jumped at his hurried voice and barely had time to slip underneath his thrust. I would have easily had a black eye for weeks if I didn't dodge that attack, no that wasn't quite right. I would have easily had a black eye for weeks if Souji was actually aiming to hurt me. Once I slipped under Souji's attack, I hopped back a few feet before reaching for my practice kaiken, fumbling around with it before I manage to bring it out clumsily in front of me. However, that was no good. The second I managed to pull out my practice kaiken, which was pretty much just a short wooden stick, Souji knocked the silly thing from my hands. Before the practice weapon even hit the floor, Souji had grabbed me. The edge of his bokken was lightly pressed against my throat while my back was pressed against his chest as he held me in place.

"Match." Souji said rather calmly as he declared himself the winner of the sparring match.

Honestly, this was getting old rather fast. I was sweating quite profusely from this sparring match and the others before, but Souji? Nope, not even a drop of sweat. This was so unfair. I wasn't even out of shape and Souji was performing so much better than me. And not to mention, I lost every single one of the sparring matches with Souji. Sure, with the others guys, I still possessed a chance of winning even if they were all much more skilled than I was. The problem with sparring with Souji was that he knew me far too well. He knew every dirty trick I would use. I couldn't throw dirt in his eyes, it was too predictable. He wouldn't even pause his onslaught of attacks even when I bat my eyelashes at him. Before we started sparring, I was sure that I was going to lose to Souji several times, but to lose every match? I may be someone who was able to take defeat graciously, but even I became a sore loser after so many losses.

"No." came my stubborn answer, causing Souji to quirk an eyebrow at me. "I haven't lost yet."

"Really?" Souji answered me in all seriousness. "How are you going to get out of—"

Souji cut himself off as he sucked in a sharp breath. His hand instantly shot up to grab my hip, which was lined up pretty well with his pelvis area, to keep me from moving more than I already had.

"Shizuka, stop." Souji almost hissed to me painfully through his teeth, but was I going to listen to him? No. I was seriously sick of losing and if I had to do certain things to snatch a victory from Souji, then I would most certainly do it at this point. I wiggled some more, causing Souji to groan as something became hard and stiff against my back.

"You can do it, Shizuka-chan!" Chizuru-chan yelled to me this point. She was sitting on engawa with Mizuki happily sitting on her lap while Ryota followed Akiko, who was crawling around in the open room behind Chizuru-chan, around with an attentive eye. Of course, when Chizuru-chan yelled her encouragement to me, she was oblivious to what I was doing.

"Shizuka," Souji groaned against my ear once again, "stop. You do know that Chizuru-chan and our kids ARE nearby, right?"

I sighed at what Souji said. He did have a point. If I kept grinding my hips against Souji then this sparring match could easily end in a certain spectacular way. A way where it was not suitable to have spectators, especially if our kids were watching. I stilled my hips in an instant, causing Souji to let out a sigh of relief. However, when I tried to go get my fallen practice weapons, Souji held on to me tighter so I couldn't move from my spot.

"Souji?" I asked him inquisitively as I turned my head slightly to look at him. Whereas before, Souji was not sweating at all, but he certainly seem to be sweating a bit now.

"You realize that the moment you walk away that you'll no longer be covering a certain something, right?" he said in a hushed voice as he pressed his hip into my back just in case I didn't get what he was saying. "It's…um…a little inappropriate for Chizuru-chan and the kids to see. You'll need to stay where you are until it goes back down."

Oh. He did seem pretty…hard. This might take a while.

"But don't you think it would look pretty weird to Chizuru-chan if we kept standing like this?" I whispered back to Souji. I was kind of regretting my actions from before now. "I mean, it's obvious that I already lost this match. We just look…stuck now. Chizuru-chan will eventually wonder what's wrong and come over to investigate."

"I have a solution for that." Souji whispered back with a tense voice as he pulled out another practice kaiken from seemingly nowhere and placed it in my hand.

Oh, I see. Souji arranged my grip on the practice kaiken before placing his hand over my own. While we were stuck like this, Souji was going to take this time to explain how to properly wield a kaiken. Plus, now it also wouldn't seem so bizarre to outsiders if they caught us in this position. It would just look like Souji was trying to teach me how to hold the dagger properly.

"You'll want to hold the kaiken like this." Souji said as he finished rearranging my fingers on the handle. "You noticed how easy it was for me to disarm you earlier, right? If you grip the dagger like this, it'll be more difficult for someone to knock it out of your grasp. And also, if you drop your naginata in battle, don't pull the dagger out right away. You know how the kaiken is shaped, right?"

I nodded before answering, "It's a short, single-edged, straight blade."

"Right. This means that it's a piercing weapon, not a slashing weapon. And because the blade is so short, it means your opponent has to be rather close to you in order for you to use it effectively. So it's best that you hide the kaiken until your opponent is close enough for you to stab him." Souji explained as he moved my hands in a stabbing motion to emphasize his words. "If your opponent knows you have a dagger, he won't risk coming too close to you, making it harder for you to stab him. You need to take your opponent by surprise for the kaiken to be effective. Then, because it's a straight blade rather than a curved—"

Souji paused to suck in another breath, then instead of continuing on with his explanation, he placed his face against the crook of my neck with a groan.

"Souji?"

"This isn't working." Souji muttered as the arm he was using to hold me against him tightened.

"How are you still turned on?" I whispered back to him. I think it's a miracle Chizuru-chan hadn't started questioning our actions. She was either too naïve or Mizuki was too good of a distraction. "I'm all sweaty and gross right now, which isn't exactly all that attractive."

"I wouldn't exactly call that gross…" Souji said before the other hand that was not used to keep me in place found its way to my covered thighs before slipping through the folds of my kimono. Thankfully our backs were to Chizuru-chan and the kids so they couldn't actually see what Souji was doing, but that didn't exactly make things better. "You're all sweaty when we have sex. That's most definitely not gross."

"Souji, not here..."

"Well, this is your fault." Souji mumbled while rubbing my inner thighs. Thankfully, instead of going further, Souji pulled his hand out from under my kimono. He then let out a wounded sounding groan before peeking at Chizuru-chan and the kids behind him. They were still oblivious to this whole situation.

"Saying, 'I'm sorry' won't exactly be beneficial here, will it?" I said as a statement rather than a question and instead of answering right away, he took some time to suck on my neck.

"No." he said when he finally answered me. "I love the kids and all, but we need to pawn them off to Chizuru-chan for a while so you can fix this. I really need a quickie right now really badly."

He probably really did too. I had been awhile since Souji and I had some alone time. Being the father of a young toddler and twin infants while having a physically demanding job meant that all Souji wanted to do most nights was flop down onto the futon and sleep. Plus, the kids still slept with us in the same futon on most nights. That meant the times we did the deed now was far less than before, which also meant that when Souji wanted to have sex, he really wanted it and it really couldn't be put off.

"Alright." I answered. I could feel Souji tense up with excitement behind me. "Go to our room and I'll ask Chizuru-chan to—"

Of course, when I was going to give Souji exactly what he wanted and needed, the universe decided to say no.

"Ah, there you three are." Inoue-san said as he appeared next to Chizuru-chan. I could almost feel Souji cry in frustration. Inoue-san always had the absolute worst timing. "Toshi-san has called a meeting and has requested everyone head to the main hall."

"Okay!" Chizuru-chan chirped obediently. Inoue-san nodded in approval that Chizuru-chan's cheerfulness while Souji… Poor Souji.

Oh Souji. The look on his face right now was like he had just learned of a beloved pet's death. It was so bad, in fact, that he loosened he grip so much that I could just slide away from him without so much of a struggle. But I wasn't going to leave Souji high and dry just because we were called to a meeting. I mean, just looking at Souji's face right now made me feel so guilty. Stepping out of Souji's grip slightly, I rearranged myself so I could still block the view of Souji's "little problem" and not look awkwardly stuck to him.

"Chizuru-chan, Inoue-san?" I called out to the two oblivious adults. "Do you think you two can take the kids and go ahead to main hall? Souji and I have something to take care of first before we go."

"Oh." Inoue-san said pleasantly with his friendly smile. "Do you two need help with the task?"

No! Definitely not! Trust me, Inoue-san, you can't help us.

"No, it's fine." I answered, not really revealing my true thoughts. "Souji and I will meet everyone at the main hall when we're finished."

"Alright." Inoue-san replied before helping Chizuru-chan gather the kids and heading the main hall.

As soon as the interlopers vanished from sight, I turn around to look at Souji. The disappointment on his face, there was no words to describe it. It kind of looked like he would just flop over and mysteriously die at this point, and all I could offer him was an apologetic look and sympathy.

"Will you…" be alright?

Souji just looked down at me with a tense wariness before he let out a big breath.

"You go on ahead." Souji finally said before looking down at the problematic part of his body. "I'll join you when…when I fix this."

"Are…are you sure?" Did he need any help?

"…Yeah. I'm sure." he said before awkwardly and briskly making his way towards the facilities with a weird hobble in his steps.

* * *

Most of us had been gathered in the main hall for some time now. The only people who were missing were Otou-san, Hijikata-san, Sannan-san, and obviously Souji. Now I knew why Souji wasn't here yet, but the Big Three? Hijikata-san was the one that called the meeting, so why weren't they here yet?

The captains that were here were sitting in what I would describe to be an uncomfortable silence. No one really said anything, nor was there anything amiss, but there was tension in the air. Even Chizuru-chan felt the tenseness and remained silent as the men sat gathered in a circle. As for the kids, it was just like any other day. Mizuki was sitting on my lap, just happy enough to have a seat on my lap as she stuck her fingers in her mouth. Akiko, on the other hand, was trying to start a conversation with Ryota. The key word being trying. Akiko was babbling nonsensical sounds at Ryota while Ryota stared back in confusion before looking to me for help.

"Just what is she saying?" was etched on his face. But in the end, Ryota decided to wing the conversation and replied back to Akiko with an unsure sounding, "Okay?"

"What do you think is taking them?" I finally asked Shinpachi-san, who was sitting to my left.

"I dunno." Shinpachi-san replied somewhat unhelpfully before looking to the empty seat to my right. "Where's Souji? I thought he was with you."

"He's…preoccupied. No matter. He'll be here soon." I answered before averting my gaze with a light blush on my cheeks. Why did I feel so embarrassed? Whatever. I doubt that'll be important.

In the end, we all just ended up talking about unimportant things until Inoue-san spoke up.

"Sakamoto Ryoma has been assassinated."

The moment Inoue-san said that, all side conversations ceased as everyone turned to face Inoue-san. As for me, it felt like a lead ball had been dropped in my stomach. I could feel another melt down coming as I shook a bit. Mizuki, who could feel me shaking, paused what she was doing so she could look up at me.

"Babo?" she chirped at me before she grabbed my hand when I didn't respond.

Since that initial melt down I had in the summer, back when the Shinsengumi was preparing for the big move to our new headquarters, I had have a few more. I had a meltdown two months ago in September when the Meji Emperor[1] ascended the throne and another one last month when the Restoration of Imperial Rule was put into place. Then, not to mention, whenever I heard the name Sakamoto Ryoma, I had the tendency to freak out a bit. It happened to be especially bad in the past several weeks just because the Shinsengumi was actually after the man before orders were given to leave him alone. During those weeks it was so bad that on some days I would nervously jump at every little thing. There was even a time where I jumped and spilled hot tea on my lap just because Hijikata-san opened a door really loudly behind me. It was the loud ticking of a nonexistent clock that only I could hear that was driving me insane.

Seeming not to notice my abnormal behavior, the conversation continued without anyone looking my way.

"You serious, Gen-san?" Sano-san asked as his eyebrows disappeared above his hairline in surprise. "…Do they know who did it?"

"Sakamoto had a lot of enemies." Shinpachi-san spoke up to add to the conversation. Despite his normal seemingly simpleton self, Shinpachi-san was well educated when it came to politics. "Could have been imperialist or loyalists. Hell, it could have just been personal. In which case, my money's on Miura of Kishu[2]."

"Hahaha." came Souji's dry laugh as he suddenly appeared and entered the room, closing the door behind him. He took a seat by me and took one of my hands discreetly into his own to stop me from shaking as much. But despite his action, he still sounded as carefree as usual. "You think maybe they're looking at us for it? Damn… If the bastard was gonna get killed anyway, I should've done him in."

At Souji's comment, Shinpachi-san looked to Souji with a wary expression. Even I didn't think that was a good joke. I knew Souji was just trying to lighten the situation up a little bit, but that actually just made it slightly worse.

"That's, uh, not very funny coming from you." Shinpachi-san finally said as he sneaked a peek at my face. "Even Shizuka-chan thinks so this time. She's gotten pretty pale. Anyways, weren't we specifically told to leave him alone?"

Inoue frown upon the last part Shinpachi-sans answer before speaking himself. "As you all know, there was a decision made far above us, and Isami-san was ordered to leave Sakamoto Ryoma alone. Unfortunately, it is unlikely the rest of the country will see it that way. A scabbard belonging to a member of the Shinsengumi was found at the scene of his death. There has been a request for an official inquiry."

At that point, my breath felt like it got stuck inside of me as I went stiff. A million things were racing through my mind all at once and far too quickly for me to process. When I felt like I was going to pass out, I felt Souji rubbing circles into my back in a reassuring way before he whispered into my ear.

"Calm down. Try following your own advice by not panicking about things you can do nothing about. Don't let your mind be clouded." Souji said, successfully keeping me from melting down again. "Breathe."

Souji was right. No point in panicking about things I can't change. I needed to remain calm for the things I could do something about so there were no unnecessary mistakes. I was called to this meeting because of the strategic value my mind had in this organization, not because I was the daughter of the Commander. I took a deep breath and counted to three before I exhaled. Souji nodded in approval when I could manage a small smile back at him.

Now think. Why was there a scabbard that belonged to a Shinsengumi member at the scene? Either someone in the Shinsengumi hated Sakamoto enough to disobey orders, or we were being framed. I was more inclined to believe that we were being framed. If someone in the Shinsengumi did hate Sakamoto enough to disobey orders, he wouldn't be stupid enough to leave his scabbard. To be caught disobeying orders in the Shinsengumi meant seppuku. But what if that member of the Shinsengumi wanted Sakamoto dead and didn't care about having to commit seppuku? In that case, that person would have made Sakamoto's murder a huge public spectacle, meaning that he would want people to know he killed Sakamoto. A secret assassination wouldn't make sense then. This whole set up didn't make sense. No, someone was framing us.

"A scabbard?" Chizuru-chan asked to follow up on what Inoue-san said. "Is that really enough evidence?"

"Normally no, but I'm sure more will 'appear'." I answered darkly. "This set up doesn't make sense. Someone is framing us."

"Yeah. What Shizuka said is true." Sano-san added on to my reply as he answered Chizuru-chan. "If it isn't enough evidence, I'm sure they'll just fabricate more. It's obviously a ruse. Who are they saying it belonged to anyway?"

"Actually…they say it was yours, Harada-kun." Inoue-san answered without mincing any words, causing Sano-san's eyes to widen in an unpleasant, silent surprise.

Chizuru-chan, on the other hand, wasn't as silent as she voiced what everyone was undoubtedly thinking with a loud, "WHAT?!"

Of course, with Souji being Souji, he decided that it was the perfect time to joke around. However, that wasn't taken well by anyone.

"Really, Sano-san? Damn, wish you'd brought me with you…"

"Knock it off, Souji!" Sano-san exclaimed before lifting his sword which was sheathed in its scabbard. "Besides. My scabbard's right here. This whole thing is idiotic."

"Seriously, who ever put together his whole scheme chose the worst possible person to frame." I cut in with a straight voice while elbowing Souji in the side. While I did like Souji's sense of black humor, this was not the time for it. "Sano-san's main weapon isn't even his sword so it would be highly unlikely that he would use a weapon he isn't as comfortable with to assassinate someone. To use an unfamiliar weapon in an assassination attempt will lower the success rate. That's something no one would be willing to risk in this, especially if the assassin really wanted Sakamoto dead. And even if Sano-san did assassinate Sakamoto with his sword, he isn't so careless that he would leave his scabbard behind. He's the Captain of the Tenth Division. He didn't get his position by being careless and he wouldn't have kept his position so long if he was."

"Exactly!" Sano-san immediately agreed as he threw his arms up in exasperation.

Inoue-san smiled at the little exchange and nodded in approval before speaking again.

"I don't suspect you, and neither does anyone else here." Inoue-san said before pointing out the problem. "Unfortunately, I doubt the rest of the nation will extend you the same courtesy. I imagine they're having trouble determining the real culprit. There was talk that Miura Kyutaro from Kishu asked the Shinsengumi to kill Ryoma."

"I'm sure there's plenty of people who'd love to pin this one on the Shinsengumi, but unless someone did it and lied about it, there's no way it was us." Shinpachi-san said with a disgruntle look on his face. Like everyone else, this was bothering him greatly.

"Unless the rasetsu corps decided to go do a little work off the books." Souji suddenly added in a blunt manner.

The room fell silent. The rumors of the night patrol were beyond grisly at times, and while Sannan-san managed to keep most things under control, some things still manage to go horrendously wrong. There was even a young child killed a few weeks before because one of the members lost control of his bloodlust. Damn it. The Shinsengumi originally started experimenting with the Water of Life because we needed the support to stay in Kyoto. Why couldn't we stop now that our position in Kyoto was firmly in place?

"We'll have to be careful, then." Shinpachi-san said after the silence had gone on for too long. "We can't let people lean about the rasetsu."

"About that…" Hijikata-san cut in he opened the doors to the main hall to reveal himself, Otou-san, Sannan-san, and…Saito-san?!

What the…?! But didn't Saito-san… He… What?! Wait a sec…

We were forbidden to speak to anyone from the Guard and that rule also applied to the Big Three, but yet all four men seem to be calm in each other's presences, like they weren't breaking any rules at all. Or was it that they really didn't break any rules in the first place? In order for that to be true, Saito-san couldn't be a member of the Guard, but yet Saito-san went with the Guard when they split from the Shinsengumi. So if Saito-san wasn't a true member of the Guard but still stayed with the Guard...the only plausible explanation is that Saito-san was acting as a spy for the Shinsengumi. How did I not see this before? If anything, Saito-san is extremely loyal to Hijikata-san. There is no way that Saito-san would join a side that opposed Hijikata-san.

"Saito?!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed with wide eyes, voicing his shock and surprise. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

Some people still couldn't even believe Saito-san was here. Chizuru-chan, for example, rubbed her eyes vigorously before looking only to rub them again.

"Oh, hello Saito-kun. It's been a while." Inoue-san said far more calmly that what anyone else could have managed. "What happened to the Guard?"

"What are you talking about, Inoue-san?!" Chizuru-chan finally blurted out after rubbing her eyes enough. "There's no way Hijikata-san would allow anyone from the Guard here! We're prohibited from even talking to them—"

"Ugh." Hijikata-san grunted in annoyance, interrupting Chizuru-chan's long winded statement. "Starting today, Saito's back in the Shinsengumi."

"What?" Sano-san exclaimed in a rushed puzzled voice, his eyes squinting at Hijikata-san and then at Saito-san as he tried to make sense of everything. "Hold on a second there, Hijikata-san. We're glad he's back, don't get me wrong, but… What happened with the Guard and Itou?"

It was Saito-san that answered instead of Hijikata-san.

"You are mistaken, but understandably so. I was never one of Itou's supporters." he said in a straight and calm voice.

"In fact," Otou-san started to add on to what Saito-san was saying, "Saito-kun joined Itou-san and his men as a spy, under Toshi's direct orders."

"What? C'mon Hajime-kun. It's not fair for you to go off and have fun without letting me in on it." Souji said in response. Despite his relaxed retort, I could tell that Souji was rather relieved that Saito-san didn't actually join Itou. While it did not seem like it before, Souji was actually quite distraught for days when Saito-san and Heisuke left with Itou.

"Man, you just about scared the pants off me… Not cool, Kondou-san." Shinpachi-san said as he crossed his arms with a miniscule frown on his lips, causing Otou-san to look at least a tiny bit guilty.

"This was all top secret. I'm sorry I had to keep it from all of you." Otou-san apologized with his own little frown.

At this reveal, everyone seemed to exhale a large breath of relief, an action Saito-san seemed to frown upon. Saito-san sighed and everyone's response and shook his head. He had news and it was in no way good.

"It's too early to feel relieved." Saito-san said, his eyes drifting to Ryota for a split second.

I understood that look. Ryota was at an age where he was starting to understand a lot more than he use to before. Whereas before, Ryota could sit at a meeting and be blissfully unaware of what we were speaking of, it was now not the case anymore. The next few parts were going to get a bit too heavy for Ryota to be around and Saito-san didn't want Ryota to be around to hear the next parts if it was going to affect him negatively.

"Go on." Souji answered before I could speak. "What you have to say won't affect him. I'm honest with him so Ryota does know what my job is and what it entails. This won't bother him."

"Shizuka?" Saito-san then said as he turned to me for my answer.

I nodded at him in return as to show that I agreed with Souji. While Ryota was at an age where he was starting to understand things, things like death were still to abstract for him to process. This wasn't going to affect Ryota all that much. Once he got my answer, Saito-san began.

"The last couple of months in the Guard have made it clear: Itou and his followers are going to take action against the Shinsengumi."

"What type of action?" Inoue-san asked, his eye's scrunching upwards in worry.

"Itou is going to expose the Rasetsu to discredit the Shogunate. There's even talk that he's working with Satsuma to that end." Hijikata-san replied as his eyes narrowed to express the contempt he had for Itou right now.

"And that's not only it." Sannan-san said as he shared a short glance with Hijikata-san. "Itou-san plans to assassinate the Chief of the Shinsengumi. And to avoid any chance of possible revenge from kin, he is going to have Shizuka-chan and children killed at a later date. Okita-san too, if possible"

I could feel Souji's hand tighten over mine as Chizuru-chan had another outburst at that statement. "You…you mean Kondou-san and… and—?!" she exclaim with her hands over her mouth in shock before she looked over at Otou-san, then to me and Souji.

Otou-san didn't say anything, but his face was stern and tense. He looked down at the tatami mats below him before with a tight fist before looking back at Hijikata-san.

That damned bastard. If I hated Itou before then there was no words to describe the contempt I felt for him now. He was aiming to kill Otou-san, Souji, and my children? I'd make him eat his own intestines before I allowed any of that to happen. And, seriously, just what the hell did I do to have everyone want me dead?

"The Guard is moving to destroy the Shinsengumi." Hijikata-san continued on. "…You've already heard about Sakamoto, right?"

"Yeah, some crap about me being the killer." Sano-san answered with a displeased sigh.

"Right. Well, you have the Guardians of the Imperial Tomb to thank." Hijikata-san said, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes even more. "They've been spreading the rumor that Miura Kyotaro of Kishu hired the Shinsengumi, and that Harada put the sword in him. But Miura is insisting that he didn't and that someone is going to take a stab at him next. So, Saito's going to be guarding Miura for now. If it looks like he just left and then came back, it won't be too hard for Itou to put two and two together."

"I understand." Saito-san replied with a slight bow of his head. "Until this matter is settle, it is better that I'm not seen here."

After Saito-san spoke, the room fell utterly silent. Even Mizuki and Akiko, who didn't understand a thing, didn't dare utter a peep. Everyone could sense whatever Hijikata-san was going to say was going to be beyond important.

"Itou Kashitaro…" Hijikata-san muttered in a dangerously dark tone while he glared at the floor with hardened eyes. "It's not enough for you to expose the Rasetsu… You have to try and kill Kondou-san and his family too, huh…" Then he looked up, and when he spoke, his voice was like cold steel. "It's too bad it has to be this way, but we don't have a choice. Itou dies."

Otou-san sighed while looking absolutely defeated. "Hm. I suppose you're right. It can't be helped." he then said before nodding. The decision was made. Itou would die by Shinsengumi hands.

We then all looked to Hijikata-san. No one had to say anything. We all already knew that Hijikata-san would be the one to plan out Itou's assassination.

"First, we'll invite Itou to Kondou-san's second home for dinner to 'discuss' business. Sannan-san and I'll be there too." Hijikata-san said before turning to me. "Shizuka, you and the kids be there as well. Itou-san knows that you're the one that cooks for us most of the time and he'll be suspicious of us if we invite him over for dinner and you're not there cooking. The presence of your kids will also lull him into a false sense of safety. He'll believe that we won't do anything to him in the presence of children."

I nodded in appliance. Hijikata-san then gave me one long look to make sure I was okay with his plan before he continued.

"We'll ambush him once he's tipsy and on his way home. Once he's dead, we can used Itou's corpse to lure out the rest of the Guard and kill them. Shinpachi, Harada, I'm assigning you and your divisions to this. Souji, I want you to tag along as back up with a few of your men too. Take care of it."

"Got it." Sano-san answered before he looked to Shinpachi-san and Souji. All three of them nodded at each other in understanding.

During all of this, Chizuru-chan had been so dumbfounded that she sat motionless. She was rooted to her spot and only manage to snap out of her stupor when Saito-san tapped her gently on the shoulder.

"…Saito-san?" Chizuru-chan mange to mutter quietly as she looked to him in befuddlement.

"This will be the end of the Guardians of the Imperial Tomb. If we are going to return Heisuke to the fold, it must be now or never."

Chizuru-chan gasped at what Saito-san said, just realizing what everything meant. If we were going to kill all of the men in the Guard that would also have to include Heisuke.

"Um, Hijikata-san? What are you going to do with Heisuke?" Chizuru-chan asked immediately afterwards. "He's part of the Guard now…"

"Isn't that obvious? We'll save him, of course." Shinpachi-san answered with blind optimism, through once I caught the unpleasant look on Hijikata-san's face, I knew things weren't going to be that simple.

"No." Hijikata-san said in contrast to Shinpachi-san's happy answer. "He fights us, he dies."

This was going to make things tricky. There was no way I was going to let Heisuke die if I could help it and there was especially no way I would let him get killed by Sano-san, Shinpachi-san, or Souji. But Hijikata-san wasn't as heartless as he made himself to appear and he did word his answer in a peculiar way. Hijikata-san said that IF Heisuke fights us, THEN Heisuke dies. That also meant that if Heisuke didn't fight us then we wouldn't have to kill him. We needed to convince Heisuke not to fight or we needed to make sure that he couldn't fight us.

"W-What?" Chizuru-chan gasped, flabbergasted at Hijikata-san's response as she failed to catch on to what I figured out. "N-No! You can't mean that! That's wrong!"

However, Hijikata-san didn't even show a sign that he heard Chizuru-chan's plead. Instead he stood up and walked out the room, leaving Chizuru-chan to watch his back until it disappeared. But before Hijikata-san fully disappeared, he shot me a discrete look. This was his way of saying that he was going to leave me to come up with a plan to deal with Heisuke. Chizuru-chan, on the other hand, was so desperate to be heard that she missed the look Hijikata-san shot me and turned to the next best people to express her concern, Sannan-san and Otou-san.

"You're actually going to order them to kill Heisuke?! Don't you care what happens to him?!" Chizuru-chan continued to plea.

"Of course we care!" Otou-san blurted out quite loudly when he couldn't stand the sound of Chizuru-chan's pleading anymore. It was like she was physically hurting him with her begging. "I know that, deep down, Toshi wants to save him too… I'll… I'll talk to him later." Otou-san finish with the last few words no louder than a mumble. Then Otou-san coughed nervously, like he was embarrassed that he'd raised his voice.

It was then Chizuru-chan finally realized that she wasn't the only one thinking of Heisuke. Everyone was suffering. Heisuke was family, but if the Shinsengumi did have to kill him in the end, then it would happen. She shrunk back at that realization before apologizing promptly with a meek voice.

"I'm sorry for…for saying that."

"No, no, no need to apologize." Otou-san said while dropping his gaze to the floor. "It makes me happy, quit honestly. I'm glad people care for Heisuke."

Otou-san then let out a slow breath, then looked up at Chizuru-chan and smiled. He turned to Shinpachi, Souji, and Sano-san, and then spoke in a low voice.

"I'm asking you this not as your chief, but as Kondou Isami… Let Heisuke live. And…if you can, try and convince him to come back."

It was at this Shinpachi-san and Sano-san let out a small smile while Souji nodded.

"Yeah."

"Got it." both Shinpachi-san and Sano-san said in a quiet voice.

"…I trust that everything's clear? If you have questions, now is the time." Otou-san said, finally wrapping up the meeting.

"…Wait." Chizuru-chan said surprisingly. After she had grown quiet, I didn't expect her to speak again. "What do I do? I haven't been given any orders."

Otou-san's face dropped again at Chizuru-chan's question before answering with a frown. "This is a dirty…job. You really shouldn't be involved. It's already bad enough that Shizu-chan and the children have a role to play in this whole…mess."

Otou-san looked absolutely guilt ridden when he said this. After he finished speaking, he looked at me and Souji apologetically, like he was saying sorry for involving the family this dark mess. This was certainly bothering him more than it was showing on his face and it was quite obvious on his face. However, Sannan-san, who had been silent this whole time, seemed to think otherwise.

"No, perhaps because it is dirty job that Yukimura-kun should be involved in this." Sannan-san said before pushing on the bridge of his glasses and looking to me. "Shizuka-chan, you have a plan, yes?"

Ah, so someone did see that glance Hijikata-san gave me before he left.

"Chizuru-chan," I spoke up as I readjusted Mizuki on my lap, "you're going to go try to convince Heisuke to leave the Guard. However, you're main priority will be to keep Heisuke away until all the nasty business is concluded. So if you believe that telling Heisuke to leave the Guard will cause him to try to fight us, then don't tell him. Keep him busy. Heisuke should have no reason to suspect anything terrible is happening if you go speak with him unless you let it our plan slip. He sees you as too pure and innocent to be caught up in this type of business."

Chizuru-chan nodded as she listened closely to my words, but towards the end, the look of doubt surfaced on her face.

"But what if I can't stop him from joining the fight? What if I can't convince Heisuke?" Chizuru-chan asked with a troubled expression. There were probably all sorts of scenarios running through her mind, with each one ending worse than the one before.

"Then you knock him out and make sure he can't fight us." I said, causing Chizuru-chan to look more skeptical. How was someone like her going to knock out someone like Heisuke? "However, knocking him out should be your absolute last option. I'm aware that it'll be difficult for you to knock someone like Heisuke out. If you have to knock him out then you'll have to use chloroform[3]. I give you a small bottle of chloroform later. You'll need to pour some out on a cloth and make sure he breathes in the fumes, but be careful of how you handle the chemical and how much you use on Heisuke if you have to use it. Chloroform causes serious illness if about 7.5 g of it is ingested and the lethal oral is about 45 g for adults. And if make sure not to hold the cloth to his mouth and nose for too long. Chloroform can cause death due to respiratory failure and cardiac arrhythmia."

"So, just make sure he breathes in enough fumes to pass out, right?" Chizuru-chan said, looking much more determined than before. However, I could still see some doubt in her eyes.

"Right. Do you think you can do this?"

"Yes!" Chizuru-chan answered with a strong voice, but despite the strong voice, I had a feeling that Chizuru-chan was lying to herself. It felt like she was trying to convince herself more than us.

* * *

[1] Emperor Meiji (明治天皇 Meiji-tennō, November 3, 1852 – July 30, 1912), or Meiji the Great (明治大帝 Meiji-taitei), was the 122nd Emperor of Japan according to the traditional order of succession, reigning from February 3, 1867 until his death on July 30, 1912. He presided over a time of rapid change in the Empire of Japan, as the nation quickly changed from a feudal state to a capitalist and imperial world power, characterized by Japan industrial revolution.

[2] Back when Sakamoto Ryouma was assassinated (about 10 months before the Battle of Aizu), Miura Kyutaro (三浦休太郎) was one of the main suspects. Fearing of revenge from Sakamoto's supporters, he asked for protection from Shinsengumi. Saitou's squad was assigned.

[3] Chloroform is an organic compound with formula CHCl3. It is a colorless, sweet-smelling, dense liquid that is produced on a large scale as a precursor to PTFE and refrigerants, but the latter application is declining. It is one of the four chloromethanes and a trihalomethane.

Chloroform causes depression of the central nervous system (CNS), ultimately producing deep coma and respiratory center depression. When ingested, chloroform caused symptoms similar to those seen following inhalation. Serious illness has followed ingestion of 7.5 g. The mean lethal oral dose for an adult is estimated to be about 45 g.

The anesthetic use of chloroform has been discontinued because it caused deaths due to respiratory and cardiac arrhythmias and failure. Following chloroform-induced anesthesia, some patients suffered nausea, vomiting, prostration, jaundice, and coma due to hepatic dysfunction. At autopsy, liver necrosis and degeneration have been observed. Chloroform has induced liver tumors in mice and kidney tumors in mice and rats. The hepatotoxicity and nephrotoxicity of chloroform is thought to be due largely to phosgene.


	103. Chapter 100

**Chapter 100**

"Fear is the mind-killer." ― Frank Herbert, _Dune_

"My, what a lovely home." the poisonous snake said with a courteous smile as he stepped into Otou-san's second home.

Itou eyes flickered around the genkan as he stepped into the house, his glance lingering on suspicious-looking places that looked large enough to hide danger for less than a tenth of a second. With stiff shoulders, he reached down to remove his shoes with grace. Confident yet cautious, a combination any good leader should possess. It was truly was such a pity things had to end this way. All dislikable attributes aside, If only we had somehow managed to keep this man working for us instead of against us, I'm sure he would have been a valuable asset.

"Hahaha!" Otou-san's boisterous laugh filled room. On his face he wore his best cheerful smile, undoubtedly lowering Itou caution. After all, would a man like Otou-san, someone who wore all his emotions on his sleeves, be a threat when he was completely predictable? "It's great that someone with your refined taste would think so. After all, I would have never thought that someone of my origins could ever own a house such as this!"

"Kondou-san don't sell yourself short." Hijikata-san said, seamlessly inserting himself into the conversation with a faultless mask of cheerfulness. "This man… Always forgetting the amount of blood and sweat he shed just to get this far."

Despite how much Hijikata-san hated political gatherings and flattering people, he sure was good at it, even if he was flattering people he did distain.

"Ah, yes." Sannan-san then added. His voice and face carried a hint of disgust as he greeting Itou with a forced bow. "Welcome, Itou-san. Shall we get down to business and discuss what we called you down here?"

And if Hijikata-san was an excellent actor then Sannan-san was the golden standard. Absolutely no flaws in playing his role of the skeptical and disapproving advisor. It was already known that Sannan-san greatly disliked Itou, so Sannan-san used this open dislike of Itou to lower the man's guard. After all, if we didn't at least have one person show his dislike towards Itou then Itou would be suspicious of us. Itou did know that quite a couple members of the Shinsengumi did dislike him. A truthful enemy is better than a deceitful friend, and easier to believe.

"Why of course." Itou replied with a tone too congenial for my liking as he acknowledged me with a short nod before turning to Otou-san with empty flattering. "I'm eager to get down to business here if it means we get to dine at the same time. I do sorely miss is Shizuka-san's cooking. You are quite fortuitous to have a woman who can cook for you at your headquarters, Kondou-san. One thing I have learned in the past couple of months in company of strictly men is that men are absolutely horrendous cooks. They even manage the impossible! Do you know what burned miso soup tastes like?"

"Oh my!" Otou-san exclaimed sympathetically.

Although, contrary to Itou's belief that we've always had excellent food, that was not always the case. Burnt miso soup? Such a small case, and nothing to complain about. Had Itou even tasted Hijikata-san's cooking or eaten a meal that both Hijikata-san and Souji worked together to create? If he wanted his complaint to be taken seriously by us then he had to first survive a meal prepared by Hijikata-san, which was something that was not easily done. Even rats that had gotten into the trash and consumed some of Hijikata-san's cooking had been found dead the next day.

As Itou was complaining about the lack of properly cooked food in a household of purely men, Otou-san rushed Itou into the prepared sitting area, like he believed Itou was starving. Although, knowing Otou-san, he probably was thinking something along the lines of that. Even though Itou was going to die tonight, Otou-san was probably thinking that Itou should at least die with a decent meal in his belly. With a friendly yet firm hand, Otou-san laid his hand on Itou's shoulder to ease Itou into his zabuton[1].

"We certainly can't have that foul flavor lingering in your mouth, now can we? Come, come. Shizu-chan's prepared quite a nice autumn meal to shave off the lingering cold. Plus, the warm saké… There's no better way to spend the evening!" Otou-san asserted as he took his own seat at the opposite end of the long rectangular chabudai [2].

Otou-san than waved Hijikata-san and Sannan-san over, telling them to sit down in their own seats wordlessly. Hijikata-san sat down on the right side of the long table, his seat was in the dead center of his side of the table. Sannan-san, on the other hand, showed his dislike of Itou by sitting as far away as possible from said man. However, despite Sannan-san rather rude behavior, Itou said nothing and continued on with his pleasant smile. Itou was picking up fictitious signs that indicated the Shinsengumi was no longer very stable. Here Sannan-san was displaying behavior that was intolerable even for an executive and no one was saying anything about it. Just the thought of his enemy becoming unorganized seemed to put Itou in a much lighter mood as his shoulders dropped more signs of tenseness.

"Yes, yes." Itou agreed quite eagerly to Otou-san words before he turned to speak to me for the first time tonight. "And how are you, Shizuka-chan? I heard you gave birth to health twin girls. Not that I'm accusing you as a neglectful haha-ue, but shouldn't you be with your daughters? Or is Okita-kun providing childcare tonight?"

I didn't even need to speak for Itou's question to get answered. Just as Itou finished asking his question, Ryota, who was in a nearby room watching his little sisters, bolted out of the room and attached himself to my legs with a playful laugh. He didn't seem to notice Itou as he started tugging on my kimono.

"Okaa-san, Mi and Aki sleeping now." he chirped with the energetic excitement of a typical three year old that had way too much sugar. "Play now?"

"Apparently not." Itou's muttered, causing Ryota to jump when he finally noticed the extra head in the room.

There has to be something said about how fast Ryota's expression of childish excitement morphed into a nasty scowl. When Itou left the Shinsengumi, Ryota hadn't even turned three yet so it would be understandable if he didn't even remember Itou. But here we were, Ryota didn't forget Itou and his memory certainly wasn't blurry at all if the scowl was anything to go by. And, as if to confirm for me that he didn't forget Itou, Ryota pointed at Itou and said:

"Ugly man look better when hair short!"

"Ryota!" Otou-san quickly cut in to stop things from spiraling out into a mess.

We did need everything to go smoothly if we wanted to pull this assassination flawlessly, and Ryota's presence and words definitely disposed of all the suspicion Itou had left, but there were other consequences to Ryota's words. Otou-san certainly look appalled at Ryota's behavior and Itou… Well, his ears were turning purple from that comment. As for Hijikata-san and Sannan-san, they were lucky that Itou was too angry to pay attention to all the giggling they were doing. To keep things from devolving, I snatched up Ryota and rushed back to the room where Akiko and Mizuki were sleeping while Otou-san worked his flattering magic to keep Itou from storming out of here in a rage.

"Ryota." I said as I knelt down to his eye level after putting him down, keeping my voice low as to not wake the girls. "I know you don't like Itou, but there's a time and place for everything. I need you to stay in this room with your sisters. Is that okay?"

"But they sleeping." Ryota whined before puffing his left cheek up in a pout and crossing his arms. "Why I staying here? I wanted to stay with Tou-san."

"It's because Otou-san has to work, just like Okaa-san." I tried reasoning him before I playfully poked his puffing cheek, causing all the air to leak out of his mouth. "Ryota, can you do something for Okaa-san?"

"Hrmm…" Ryota murmured as he purposely refused to look at me.

"I need someone reliable to stay and make sure Mi-chan and Aki-chan sleep well while Okaa-san and Otou-san are working. Can you do that for me? I'd be very proud of you."

"Make Okaa-san and Tou-san proud?" Ryota echoed almost eagerly as his wide eyes peeked up at me with a curious expression.

"Uh huh." I nodded before poking his soft tummy to make him giggle a bit. "Because Okaa-san and Otou-san have to work tonight we can't stay to make sure Mi-chan and Aki-chan are sleeping well. It'll be very helpful if you stay and watch them, like a good onii-san."

"Umm… Okay!" Ryota proclaimed, nodding his head in eager excitement after thinking on what I had to say for a bit.

"That's a good boy." I approved as I gave him a soft smile before brushing some hair away from his forehead and gave him quick peck there. Then reaching into the sleeve of my kimono, I pulled out a small sweet-smelling bag and placed it in his tiny hands with a wink. "I bought this a bit earlier and was going to share it with you and your Otou-san when he got back, but I think you can snack on it before sharing some. They're your favorite: amananattō[3]."

Of course, he accept the little bag with glee. With no more complaints, Ryota sat his little butt on the floor next to where his sisters were sleeping and popped a small confection into his mouth as I slinked out of the room and back to the sitting room where the men were waiting.

"Ah, there you are Shizu-chan. Is Ryota all settled for the night?" Otou-san questioned. He looked slightly concerned.

"Yes, he is." I answered with a small bow for the sake of looking professional. "I apologize for the wait. I shall be bring out the food now. I've prepared matsutake dobin mushi[4] to warm the body and sanma no shioyaki[5] for the main course tonight."

"And don't forget the saké. Plenty of warm saké will keep away the autumn cold." Hijikata-san hollered after me as a reminder when I headed to the kitchen to fetch everyone's meal. His way of saying: _Make sure Itou is drunker than drunk when he leaves._

* * *

"Nationalism is very nearly a taboo term these days, you know." Itou slurred as he slammed his empty cup back on the table in satisfaction.

Despite his thin and delicate looking frame, Itou surprisingly had an incredibly high tolerance for alcohol. But then at the same time, he certainly had more muscle than fat. Alcohol wasn't drawn into body fat as well as it drawn into lean muscle mass. Because of this, blood alcohol concentration is intensified in those with more body fat. In the end, it didn't matter how high his alcohol tolerance was. Alcohol had flowed quite easily tonight with most of it going to Itou. Whereas he had just been gently sipping it before, he was now chugging like a man that had been stranded in a desert.

"Even the Satsuma and Choshu have finally realized they cannot rival foreign technology and influence, and have begun to adopt outside culture." Itou continued, only pausing so I could refill his cup again.

"I see. Such as…?" Otou-san asked, his curiosity genuinely tickled.

"Ah, let me think… Yes!" Itou exclaimed before taking another gulp of alcohol. "For example, Firearms! They've managed to import a great many guns, and have been training their men in western warfare and tactics."

Itou then nodded sagely, and gestured somewhat awkwardly with his cup, causing some of the alcohol to slosh out from the sides of the cup. Otou-san nodded back to indicate that he was indeed listening to Itou.

"Interesting." Hijikata-san said in response as he put his own cup down. "Maybe we should start thinking about training the Shinsengumi in western tactics."

"Hmm… Perhaps." Sannan-san said, neither disagreeing nor agreeing.

"Yes! You agree!" Itou exclaimed as he spilled a little more sake. "You must be able to see the big picture these days!"

"Yeah." Hijikata-san agreed with a calming nod. "We might be on different paths, but we're all headed for the same destination. Another drink, Itou-san?"

"Here you go." I said as a brought another batch of warm saké. So far, everything was going exactly as planned.

It was fairly late at night, or should I say extremely early in the morning, by the time all the drinking had wrapped up. Itou swayed somewhat unstably on his feet, nearly falling against a wall, as he waved us farewell. He looked rather satisfied and happy, too happy for someone who was going to die in a matter of minutes. I looked through the corner of my eyes to see Otou-san struggling to keep his smile on his face. Despite it being known that Itou was planning to him, on killing us, Otou-san still felt guilty. It was one thing to assassinate someone, but to see the target smiling so happily right before death…that tends to leave a nauseating sensation behind. But there was negotiating this. Itou had to die. It was him or us.

"Well, it was nice to enjoy a meaningful conversation. And now, farewell." Itou said was a clumsy wave before stumbling off into the dark streets of Kyoto. This was the last time we would all be seeing him alive.

The cold autumn wind howled as it blew through the empty streets, depositing golden leaves at our feet as we lingered outside. The wind was especially harsh tonight and almost too harsh for autumn. Instead of raining leaves, it felt like it should have been snow falling. As I brushed the stray hair out of face, one more strong breeze passed by. As the wind passed us, my kanzashi slipped from my hair and hit the ground.

"Oh." I mumbled to myself as I bent down to pick it up only to discover that the prongs on my kanzashi had snapped upon impact. Oh no. An ill omen? No, I didn't believe in things like this, but…

"This feels wrong, Toshi." Otou-san muttered as his eyes remain trained on the spot he last saw Itou.

Hijikata-san was on the opposite spectrum of Otou-san in this. No, there was not one shred of guilt on Hijikata-san's face. He wasn't the older brother figure I grew up with right now. In his place stood a stone demon, the Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi.

"It's the path we chose. It's our duty to do this, but doesn't mean we have to proud of it." Hijikata-san justified.

"Sometimes the job is dirty." Sannan-san agreed before he bent down to help me pick up my kanzashi. He offered me a sympathetic look when he discovered it had snapped. "Ah, it broke. But don't fret, I know a store where we can get if fixed. So no more watery eyes, okay?"

Watery eyes? Oh. No wonder my vision was blurry. With everything that is going on right now, I can't believe I would tear up over this. The kanzashi is important to me, but shedding tears over this now while we had more pressing matters seemed a bit dumb.

"Okay." I answered with a whisper before I rubbed my eyes dry and carefully handed the shards of my kanzashi to Sannan-san. He'd take care of it.

Meanwhile, Otou-san and Hijikata-san paid no attention to me and Sannan-san and continued on with their own conversation.

"Look, Chief…" Hijikata-san continued. "This one's not on your head, all right? I made the plan. I gave the orders."

Then with a long sigh and one last look to where Itou had stumbled off into the night, Hijikata-san gently took my hand and lead me back into the house. His hands seemed expectantly soft and tender. In an instant, it felt as if Hijikata-san had aged. While he still looked as handsome as ever, he looked tired and old now too.

"I'll help you clean up the mess before we all head back." Hijikata-san murmured to me without looking me in the eye as we stood in the doorway.

His shoulders sagged as he took off his shoes and he headed for the kitchen without waiting for me to remove my own shoes. Despite his own words, it appeared that Hijikata-san wasn't as much as a demon as he led people to believe. He was human too.

Hijikata-san was already hard at work by the time I got to the kitchen and was scrubbing a bowl with more force than what was necessary. Without asking for permission, I took the spot next to him and plucked the bowl from his hands so I could wash it myself.

"You know," I said as I rinsed the bowl and reached for another one, "somethings are pretty heavy for one person to carry. It's a good thing you're not alone."

His hands froze for a few short seconds and he looked at me with a look of surprise. Then, with wet soapy hands, he did something he hadn't done since I was a child. He ruffled my hair wordlessly with a small smile before he resumed washing the dishes.

* * *

The scent of heavy iron was the smell that hit me first. The scent was so strong that I could even taste the iron from the air. I gagged at the sickening scent before trying to block out the smell by holding my sleeve in front of my nose, but I was piggybacking sleeping Ryota, who was now too heavy to be supported by one arm and prevented me from doing so. Why was I smelling blood in the first place?

"Wait." Hijikata-san blurted as he raised a free hand in front of us in a stop gesture. His eyes narrowed in the direction of headquarters while his mouth twisted into a grim snarl. "Something's not right."

"I smell blood." Sannan-san said almost too quietly to hear. "And if it's the scent is this strong… Hijikata-kun!"

"Damn it. What the hell happened?" Hijikata-san before very nearly shoving sleeping Mizuki, who he was carrying, into Otou-san's free arm. He then nodded urgently at Sannan-san before they both bolted towards headquarters in a sprint. "Kondou-san! Shizuka! You two stay with the kids until one of us comes back to get you!" he hollered back to us.

"Wait!" I yelled back as they disappeared from sight.

What happened? If I was smelling this much blood… How many people were injured or dead? Why at headquarters? Did… Did some part of Itou's assassination fail? Did the headquarters get attacked while we were gone? No…

I turned agitatedly so I could give chase to the two men, but was stopped by Otou-san when he stepped in front of me. He shook his head sternly at me, clearly telling me to stay here with him. No! There had to be something I could do! I'm a doctor and there were injured people! What if Inoue-san was among the injured?

"Let me go!" But Otou-san kept blocking my every route.

I couldn't get around Otou-san, even when he was carrying both sleeping twins, and having sleeping Ryota on my back definitely wasn't helping move any faster. Why didn't Otou-san understand? I was needed somewhere!

"Otou-san, something's wrong! If I can smell this much blood—"

"Shizuka!" Otou-san raised his voice at me while using my whole name.

I froze in place as my voice died on my lips. Otou-san rarely called me by my full name and almost never raised his voice. The force he used when he said my name stunned me into silence as I stared back at him wide-eyed.

"Think before you go running off into danger!" Otou-san continued before his voice sunk into a plea. "You're no longer a single woman anymore. You haven't been for a while. Your actions will affect just more than you now. What if it's still dangerous at headquarters? What about your children? Would you leave to grow up without a mother if something were to happen to you? And what about Souji and me? What chichi would willing do nothing and watch his child run towards danger?"

I… What Otou-san did say is true, but…

"Otou-san." I answered him whist recomposing myself the best I could. I shouldn't be panicking, not now. "I understand what you mean, but you also must understand this: I am the Shinsengumi's physician. I understood the risks when I took this position. I knew there would be times I would be in dangerous situations. I am no longer just your daughter, but I am also a professional with a job to complete and if I don't complete my job, people can die."

I paused to take a deep breath to clear my head and to give Otou-san some time to think about what I said. His face had fallen when I spoke and he was now staring at the floor almost hopelessly. I had a point, but Otou-san did have a point too.

"But," I then added on in a low meek whisper, causing Otou-san to raise his a hopeful gaze at me, "you're right. I was being careless. I shouldn't run into a dangerous situation without proper information and especially while carrying a young child… Sorry... I'll wait for them to come back."

There was no point having a doctor rush in unprepared only to get killed before getting to do anything.

Despite not waiting very long, it felt like hours had passed as Otou-san and I stood in silence. Within a matter of minutes, a figure appeared, running towards us from the dark distance. Inoue-san looked disheveled with some of his hair falling out of his topknot. His clothing was covered in patches of dirt and there was blood on the handle of his katana, but he did not appear to be injured. There was no cut in sight.

"Gen-san! What happened?" Otou-san instantly asked with his booming voice. It was really quite a miracle that none of the children woke up.

"We were attacked by Kazama while everyone was away." Inoue-san answered, sounding out of breath. I could see Otou-san gritting his teeth.

"Were they here for Chizuru-chan?" I inserted myself in the conversation while ignoring the fact that they could have very well been here for me too.

"No, that did not seem to be the case. He merely attacked us just to draw enough blood so the rasetsu in headquarters would lose their senses. He attacked us alone." Inoue-san answered while looking very bothered. "He left when we had to start culling the rasetsu."

Alone?

"How many injured or—"

"Many injured. As for the dead, only rasetsu." Inoue-san answer me before I had a chance to finish. He then took Ryota from me before continuing. "There are too many injured for Yamazaki-kun to take care by himself. We need you there to help him. Toshi-san and Sannan-kun are back at headquarters trying to bring things in order. I will stay and help Isami-san put the children to bed so you can work, Shizuka-chan."

Inoue-san didn't have to say more to send me sprinting back towards headquarters. Why did Kazama attack us and why did he attack us by himself? Normally he would have his two other lackeys following him around, so what was different this time? There was no denying that Kazama hated rasetsu and believed that they shouldn't exist, which is something we could surprisingly agree on. Could it be that believed so strongly that rasetsu shouldn't exist that he attacked us for the soul purpose of making us kill our own rasetsu? No, that couldn't be it. His lackeys hated rasetsu just as much, so he would have brought them with him.

"Okita-sensei." Yamazaki-san said, interrupting my thoughts, as I approached the medical wing. "This way please. Despite what the situation, it appears that most wounds are superficial and nonfatal. It appears Kazama's main goal was not to kill."

"Then what was he doing here? I got from Inoue-san that he wasn't here for Chizuru-chan? Why would he come here?" I asked while surveying an injured man who was laying on the futon before me. I think his name was Amaji Issen. He had been slashed right across the chest with a sword, but it was a shallow cut. Not even the ribcage seemed damaged. Some stiches and painkillers would fix him up pretty well.

"Ughh…" Amaji-san moaned as he writhed in pain. It was clear that he had never experienced being slashed at with a sword before. "Sensei… Is it serious?"

"You'll be fine." I assured him before reaching for the shochu[6] near his head. I would use it as disinfectant. "The wound is large, but superficial. The blade only cut through muscle. I'm more worried about the man Yamazaki-san is working on. See how his leg is slightly twisted? He has a broken bone."

"I see…" he said, relaxing his form before paling quite considerably when he saw what was in my hand. "What?! No! Not that! Anything but that!"

My, he certainly seemed quite lively compared to before.

"True, putting alcohol on such a large wound will sting, but it's better than risking an infection." I said before I poured some out on the towel I was using so I could dab at the wound.

"Urk!" he grunted in pain before he start looking like he had just given up on living. "I was going to drink that later… I saved up for it and now I'm not even going to drink it? My life is over…"

"No whining." I just scolded him as I continued on with my work before I started speaking to Yamazaki-san again. "Any idea why Kazama attacked us?"

"No, I do not know." Yamazaki-san answered while straightening his patient's leg, enticing a loud cracking sound from the bone and a hiss from his patient. "Of all the nights for there to be an attack, when there were so few men stationed at headquarters."

"Wait…" I said as I paused my work. "Maybe that's why he attacked us by himself tonight, because he knew there were few enough men for him to handle at alone headquarters. But if he knew about how few men we would have here… He knew our plan to assassinate Itou."

But why would he attack us when he would gain nothing? He didn't come to take Chizuru-chan this time, and probably not me either, and he didn't attack us for the sake of killing. I also didn't think that Kazama attacked us to keep Itou from being assassinated. They didn't run in the same circle. Unless… Where were Amangiri and Shiranui? What were they doing? Kazama's attack was used to draw our eyes off of whatever they were doing and that tells me that they were doing something that we would have certainly interfered with if we were organized.

"Okita-sensei?" Yamazaki-san questioned when I didn't finish my sentence.

"Yamazaki-san, where are Hijikata-san and Sannan-san?" I demanded in a rush as I dropped the towel and jumped to my feet.

"Outside doing damage control—Okita-sensei?! Where are you going?!"

"Stitch up Amaji-san for me, Yamazaki-san. I needed to speak to either Hijikata-san or Sannan-san." I replied without looking back and shut the door in Yamazaki-san's surprised face.

Like Yamazaki-san said, Hijikata-san was outside doing damage control. As for Sannan-san, I have no idea where he was, but he was probably doing damage control on the rasetsu half. After all, the normal soldiers of the Shinsengumi still didn't know about them and it's best to keep it that way.

"Clean up the blood." Hijikata-san ordered some tired, able-bodied men. "Blood can spread disease if left like that." And it would probably drive the remaining rasetsu to complete insanity too.

"Yes, Vice Commander." the men answered and immediately set off to work.

"Shizuka, what are you doing here?" Hijikata-san then addressed me without taking his eyes of the working men. "I thought you would be helping Yamazaki-san with the injured."

"Kazama." I said, ignoring Hijikata-san's question. "He knew our plan to assassinate Itou tonight. That's why he attacked headquarters by himself when our forces were split. He wanted to keep half of our forces disorganized and busy while Amangiri and Shiranui were off doing his bidding. I think this was done to keep us from interfering with something."

That certainly caught his attention and caused Hijikata-san to spin towards me in agitated shock, like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"What?! Then what are his two lackeys—"

Our question was then answered, but in the most dreadful way possible. As if the night couldn't get any worse.

"Shizuka!" Sano-san loud and panicked voice interrupt Hijikata-san.

I could see Sano-san with Chizuru-chan and Shinpachi-san bulldozing their way to where I was with Hijikata-san. Sano-san and Shinpachi-san were covered in blood, which made sense since they were tasked with eliminating Itou and the Guard, but the problem was that there was too much blood. There was so much blood that Chizuru-chan's hands were covered in it. It took me a couple of seconds to process what I was seeing, but when I realized what I was looking, it felt like someone sucker punched me in the gut. The source the excess amount of blood was the limp body Sano-san was carrying in his arms, Heisuke. The source of all the fresh blood, a missing right arm.

"Shit." was the only word I could mutter when I saw the wound. It was still pouring blood. I jumped in as quick as I could, applying pressure to the open wound to slow the bleeding before howling to some bystanders, "Someone get me some towels to stanch the blood! NOW!"

"What the hell happened?!" Hijikata-san demanded, his eyes sweeping their panicked faces before stopping on Chizuru-chan when she started wailing.

"It's all my fault!" she cried. "I couldn't stop Heisuke from joining the battle!"

"It's not your fault! There's no way you could have predicted any of this." Shinpachi-san assured very poorly in a rushed hiss to Chizuru-chan before turning to Hijikata-san to explain. "We were ambushed. After we killed Itou and most of the Guard, that Amangiri and Shiranui guy popped up with some Choshu and Satsuma lackeys. They're goal was to eliminate us and to capture Chizuru-chan while they were at it. Then when Heisuke heard that they were going to take Chizuru-chan he jumped in the fight. Long story short, that didn't end well."

"Wait! Satsuma and Choshu? What—"

"Well it turns out that they're real buddy-buddy right now." Sano-san interrupted with an agitated snap before turning to me. "We need to stop the bleeding now."

"Yes, we do." I agreed before I realized something.

Souji, he went with Sano-san and Shinpachi-san for the assassination. He didn't return with them.

"Where's Souji?" I asked quietly as dread set in. My kanzashi breaking earlier tonight, did it actually mean something?

"Souji—" Shinpachi-san hollered, as if he were calling out to Souji before he suddenly fell quiet. "He was just behind us when we fled… Where is he?!"

That was it. I dropped everything I was doing and before I could sprint out of headquarters, Hijikata-san stopped me by looping an arm around my waist to keep me from going anywhere.

"Calm down!" Hijikata-san hissed in my ear as I began choking on my own breath.

Souji! Where is he?! Nononononononono!

"Shit!" I heard Sano-san say. "Don't tell me they got him while—"

"Sano-san, shut up." a new voice interrupted, causing me to sink down to my knees in relief as I nearly choked on my own tears. "Saying things like that tends to make Shizuka stop thinking and do stupid things. And don't you think right now is a really bad time for Shizuka to start doing stupid things?"

"Souji!" Sano-san exclaimed with his brows set in disapproval as he turned to Souji, who was making his way towards us. "Where the hell have you been?! Is that—! Why the hell would you go back for that?! Bad enough that it's no longer attached, but you have to bring it back. Did you even think about what Heisuke would feel like if he saw his severed arm when he wakes up?!"

But Souji ignored Sano-san as he knelt down to where I was on the ground and held the arm in front of me.

"It's a clean cut and it's been less than an hour since it was severed. Can you do it?"

"Prepare an operating room for me." I breathed out as I attempt to catch my breath and calm my still rapidly beating heart.

* * *

[1] A Zabuton (座布団) is a Japanese cushion for sitting. The zabuton is generally used when sitting on the floor and may also be used when sitting on a chair. In a more casual setting, the zabuton can be used in conjunction with a zaisu (座椅子?), a type of Japanese legless chair, with or without an accompanying kyousoku (脇息), a Japanese-style armrest. Ordinarily, any place in Japan where seating is on the floor will be provided with zabuton for sitting comfort. A typical zabuton measures 50–70 cm (20–30 inches) square and is several centimetres thick when new.

[2] A chabudai (卓袱台 or 茶袱台 or 茶部台) is a short-legged table used in traditional Japanese homes. The original chabudai ranged in height from just 15 cm to a maximum height of 30 cm. People seated at a chabudai may sit on zabuton or tatami rather than on chairs. The four legs of a chabudai are generally collapsible so that the table may be moved and stored easily.

Chabudai are used for various purposes, such as a study table for children, a work bench for needlework, and most importantly, a dinner table for the entire family (shokutaku (食卓、しょくたく?)). In the winter, the chabudai is often replaced by a kotatsu, another type of short-legged table equipped with a removable top and a heater underneath.

[3] Amanattō (甘納豆) is a Japanese traditional confectionery that is made of azuki or other beans, covered with refined sugar after simmering with sugar syrup and drying. Amanattō was originally called _amananattō_ (甘名納糖); the name was abbreviated to _amanattō_ after World War II. The resemblance of the name to the fermented bean dish nattō is coincidental.

[4] One of the more notable smells of autumn comes from a hearty mushroom soup called _matsutake dobin mushi_. The dish is served in a clay teapot called a _dobin_, enjoyed by pouring out the broth into a small cup and picking out the vegetables to enjoy. The soup consists of a bonito stock, seasonal vegetables, slivers of chicken or shrimp, and the star ingredient, aromatic pine mushrooms called _matsutake_, which contribute a unique smoky flavor. It can be complimented with a few drops of citrus, such as yuzu or the green-skinned _sudachi_ fruit.

[5] Pacific saury, known as _sanm_a in Japan, is the savory dish of fall; the sleek, silver fish is best enjoyed grilled with salt, called _sanma no shioyaki,_ due to its distinctive oiliness and fatty content. _Sanma no shioyaki _is served whole, so you should start eating from the crispy skin, adding a squirt of lime juice, daikon radishes, or soy sauce to the flesh as a light garnish, and use chopsticks to pick out portions until only the ones are left.

[6] Japanese liquor, similar to vodka.


	104. Chapter 101

From this the point beyond this chapter, things should start to move relatively quickly. According to recorded history:  
**November 1867-** Itou is assassinated  
**December 1867-** Shinsengumi sets up headquarters at the Fushimi's magistrate compound; Kondou is shot in the shoulder and sent to recover Osaka; Emperor Komei dies in his palace; Tokugawa Yoshinobu becomes the 15th and last shogun  
**January 1868-** Battle of Toba-Fushimi and start of Boshin War; Yamazaki dies (recorded to have drowned during the retreat); Shinsengumi set up headquarters at the Edo estate of a former Jan Tokugawa official  
**March 1868- ** Shinsengumi (now renamed Koyochinbutai - Pacification Corps) are ordered to suppress uprisings in Kofu; Shinsengumi receive word that Kofu Castle has been taken by imperial forces led by Itagaki Taisuke of Tosa; Battle of Katsunuma; Nagakura, Harada, and several others leave Shinsengumi  
**April 1868- **Hijikata joins forces with Ootori Keisuke, forming the last army of the Bakufu and retreat to Aizu after loss at Utsunomiya; Kondou executed by Yokokura Kisoji  
**December 1868- **Oppositionists declare the independence of the Ezo republic  
**May 1869- **Imperial forces had driven the rebels back to Hakodate, where they surrounded them by land and sea; Hijikata retreated to defend the city and was shot in the belly while on horseback, leading his troops in the fight (Hijikata dies at age 34)

I apologize for the slow update. Maybe I should get a beta reader?

* * *

**Chapter 101**

"There was a tacit understanding between them that 'liquor helped'; growing more miserable with every glass one hoped for the moment of relief." ― Graham Greene, _The Heart of the Matter_

"'_Can you do it?_'" Sano-san scoffed, repeating after Souji with an incredulous expression before letting out a sour sounding laugh of disbelief. "Can you do _what_? It's a severed arm Souji! It doesn't matter how good Shizuka is! It's not like she can sew it back on! I know you like your little black jokes, but right now's NOT the time!"

Souji growled and blew hot air out of his nostrils like an enraged bull, but he quickly smoothed over his face with a deceptively blank mask. He placed Heisuke's severed arm carefully in my hands while offering me a small reassuring smile before wasting no time turning to deck Sano-san in the face. Chizuru-chan let out a shriek of horror as a horrible crunching sound was heard as Souji's fist slammed into Sano-san's nose.

"Souji! What the HELL, you bastard!" Sano-san howled, his voice whistling strangely through his now broken nose, as he reeled backwards from the punch. He brought one hand up to cup his nose for a few seconds only to pull his hand away to observe the blood coating his fingers. Then, as if enraged by the sight of his own blood, his opposite hand curled up into a clench fist as he launched himself towards Souji, only to be jerked backwards as Shinpachi-san flew at him to grab and wrestle his arms behind his back.

On the other end, Souji was quickly tackled to the ground before he could do more damage by Hijikata-san with Otou-san's help. In the struggle, Souji managed to work one of his arms free and tried to strike Hijikata-san's face with an open palm, but he fortunately missed and had his arm restrained again by Otou-san. He snarled like a feral wolf as he struggled to break free.

"Don't you DARE insult Shizuka's skills in front of me!" Souji growled, snapping his teeth at Hijikata-san's fingers as they came dangerously close to his mouth.

"SOUJI! Simmer down! He wasn't trying to insult Shizuka. Stop misinterpreting things, dammit!" Hijikata-san snapped as he dug his knee into Souji's back, causing Souji to grunt in frustration.

Of all the—! I understood that the guys were scared. Heisuke was family to all of us. Life was not kind to the disabled in this era, least of all to samurai that lost the ability to wield a sword. It was understandable that the men, unable to deal with this rush of emotion, reacted with what they were familiar with, with violence. But right now, this was exactly the worst way to react. There was no time for this! For heaven's sake, I hadn't even completely stopped Heisuke's bleeding yet! I needed to get Heisuke into a clean room so I could operate and because was arguing, there was no one to help me. For the love of all that is holy—!

"Everyone SHUT UP!" I snapped. I had enough of this. There was a time and place for everything.

Everyone froze in place at my raised voice with wide eyes. I rarely ever had to raise my voice like this, so when I did it was certainly quite a shock to their systems. However, Souji didn't quite freeze up like the others. He just merely fell silent for a short few seconds before he had the damn balls to open his mouth to object, but I didn't allow him to say anything.

"Souji, you especially need to shut up. I am NOT in the mood for any of this!" I snapped once more at Souji before turning to address everyone else. "Otou-san, I need you to go prepare an operating room for me. Shinpachi-san, I will need you to take Heisuke to said room. Hijikata-san, I'll need you to fetch Yamazaki-san and Sannan-san for me. They will be assisting me in the upcoming operation. Chizuru-chan, you'll stay here and fix Sano-san's nose and when you're finished, I'll need you to treat all the other injuries."

Then Souji, who was looking significantly cowed from my outburst before, muttered with sad puppy eyes, "What about me? What should I do?"

One look at his downtrodden face and I began to regret yelling at him before. He just looked so upset. I had forgot how sensitive he got whenever I got angry with him. He really was like a child who was eager to please sometimes, but I suppose that was a part of his charm.

"Go take the kids off of Inoue-san's hands so he can come down here and help Chizuru-chan. The kids are asleep, so you should get some sleep too." I answered him, softening my voice so he knew I wasn't angry with him anymore, but that didn't seem to really work. Souji still looked extremely upset and was starting to look lethargic at this point.

However, there wasn't time to address Souji's feelings. Things had to be accomplished now. When I finished dealing out my orders, we all dispersed with our jobs in mind. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

The sun was already high in the sky by the time I completed the several hour surgery. The whole process was mind-numbingly long and by the time everything was complete, I was ready for a gallon of coffee. No, scratch that. I was ready for three gallons. But if I was tired, then there was no explaining how exhausted my assistants were. I was the fortunate one. All I had to do was distract and serve Itou food the night before. Sannan-san helped distract Itou from the night before, helped me perform surgery on Heisuke, and now would have to continue cleaning up the rasetsu mess despite his bloodshot eyes and yawning. As for Yamazaki-san, he had been one of the people that helped fight off Kazama from his attack the night before. He then proceeded to help me with the surgery without a break. At this point, I was more afraid of him drowning if he fell asleep in the bath.

"Can you place Heisuke on…on—" I said, directing Sannan-san and Yamazaki-san to the fluffy prodigious futon that was next my work desk and next to a window with an impressive view of the outside before stifling a yawn, "—this futon, please?"

Both men nodded, too exhausted to say anything as they placed Heisuke on the empty futon. Heisuke would have to take up residence in the medical wing for the next several weeks so I could keep a close eye on his healing arm. After all that Heisuke went through, if his arm developed a gangrene infection and needed to be amputated… If that happened, I would probably have a depressed and suicidal patient on my hands. I absolutely needed to keep a close eye on Heisuke. There was no argument. Amputation was not an option.

Once the two men laid Heisuke's unconscious form on the futon, they stumbled out the medical wing without a sound, Yamazaki heading to the wash up and Sannan-san heading back to his office. And as much as I wanted to sleep, I wasn't planning on it anytime soon. I fluffed up a soft pillow before lifting Heisuke's head so I could ease the pillow under his head before laying a comforter over Heisuke body, minus the arm I reattached. Then I placed another soft pillow under the reattached arm to elevate it. Elevation of an injured area above the level of the patient's heart was to maximize the fluid drainage away from the injury. Elevating the area also took the weight and/or pressure away from the injury to reduce swelling, something that was needed right now.

I let out a tried sigh as I took a seat next to Heisuke's futon once I was sure he would be comfortable. It's times like these where I wonder how things went so wrong so fast. No, things going horribly wrong wasn't actually fast. It did take several months for all these events to build up imploding, but it felt like an instant. One day Heisuke was leaving the Shinsengumi to search for an answer and the next moment he was lying unconscious on a futon after going through major surgery just because he went looking for answers in the wrong place. Just how did we get here from that once happy time?

I brushed some of his hair off of his forehead before placing a heat pack near the arm I had worked on. It was pink, so I did know that there was blood circulation, which in itself was a miracle. During the operation, it was a struggle to get the blood circulating in the arm again. After I reattached the arm, it had stayed an ugly purple color for a while. I had wanted to pull my hair out in frustration. The whole time I was thinking: _What did I do wrong?_ Did I blunder when I was suturing the vessels? Should I have used another method while fixing the vessels? It was nerve-racking.

And speaking of nerves, I didn't even know how the nerve reattachments went. With Chinatsu, she had complications when her arm was healing and now there was a constant tingling in her arm and pain during rainy days. Heisuke was, no, is a warrior. He needed his arm to heal without complications if he hoped to continue being able to wield a sword. What if the nerves didn't heal properly? What if I didn't reattach enough of them for him to function properly? After all, not all nerves could be reattached. Some nerve bundles were easy enough to be sewn together since some of those could be rather large in diameter, but some nerve bundles were just too small. Some nerve bundles were just a mere 1 µm. In other words, hair, which was 50-100 µm in diameter, was thicker in diameter than some of the nerve bundles.

At least reattaching the two ends of the humerus was simple enough. All I had to do was put the ends together and screw them in place since the bone would eventually knit together on its own. The only tricky part was making sure that the alignment, angulation, and rotation was correct without an x-ray, but it was still doable.

I sighed once more as I reached down to hold his hand. Only if he could wake up now and move his arm, then I would know he would be okay. But he was still comatose from the anesthesia right now and probably would be for a little longer. It was the shuffling of footsteps that snapped me out of my thoughts.

The closed door slid open to reveal Shinpachi-san, Sano-san, and a meek Chizuru-chan, all of which were wondering how Heisuke was fairing. The last time they saw him was when he was passed out from blood loss and missing an arm.

They stood in the by the doorframe, unsure of what to do. They all seemed like they wanted to rush over and see exactly how Heisuke was doing. No matter what he did to appear calm, Shinpachi-san was sweating from all his anxiety. Sano-san, suffering from twin black eyes as a side effect of his broken nose, was stiffer than a board. Lastly, Chizuru-chan was holding on to the back of Shinpachi-san's clothing with her small tight fists while looking like she was about to cry. However, their expressions of anxiety didn't last long as they're eyes widen and jaws dropped when they saw the reattached arm, which I found pretty satisfying.

"I—What?" Sano-san uttered in disbelief when he saw Heisuke's arm. There was no mistaking it, no matter how many bandages the arm was wrapped around the arm, it was unmistakably reattached and not pretending to be. "You actually did it…"

"No way…" Shinpachi-san gasped as he came to take a seat by me. As if to really test if the arm was really attached, he poked Heisuke fingers before retracting his own hand quickly. "It's really attached!"

"That's amazing!" Chizuru-chan squealed in delight, clapping her hands together with a small jump of excitement.

But, in my opinion, I thought they were celebrating too early. So many things could still go wrong on the road of recovery. However, I said nothing and let those three celebrate. They had a long night too, one of not know whether their friend would survive or not. They deserved some good news.

"But I still can't believe it!" Sano said as he came to stand behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder. "You did good, Shizuka. But still, this has to be the very first time someone has ever had a limb reattached. You really are amazing."

"No, it's not the first time." I muttered in response, not sharing their enthusiasm, as I continuously ran my hand through Heisuke's long hair to untangle it. I'm sure he would appreciate not waking up to a large hairball attached to the top of his head. "Chinatsu's was the first."

"Wait, whaddya mean?" Shinpachi-san questioned, looking absolutely puzzled before poking my side to prod me for answers, or he could have been doing that to try to get me to lighten up. Hard to tell really. I'm just too damn sleepy to tell or care.

"You remember when you first met her, the massive bundle of bandages around her arm? It wasn't being splint because only the bone was broken. She had her whole arm cut off before and I was the one that reattached it." I answered without sparing them a glance as I continue to fuss over Heisuke with silent attentive actions.

"I see…" Sano-san spoke, finally sitting in the last free spot next to me. "I thought that the bandages were on for a strangely long time for a broken arm, but I didn't really think too much about it. Why didn't Chinatsu tell us about her whole arm situation?"

"Traumatizing memories. She doesn't really want to remember the time she had her arm severed from her body. She even covers the scars left behind so she doesn't have to look at them." I said, finally leaving Heisuke's hair alone.

And it was quite a huge effort to keep the scars hidden. Sometimes, if she didn't cover the scars with a bandage, she would refuse to tie her sleeves back so they would be out of the way when she worked. The scars weren't the prettiest things either. The biggest and most obvious scar was the one circling the entire circumference of her upper arm. I had done my best to reduce scarring, after all, a young woman like her shouldn't have such horrendous scars, but even the best was subpar at times. The scar showed the line where her arm had once been severed. The hideous scar, twisting and warping the flesh, looking like a tangled fishing line was cutting into the skin. Then it was also possible to see the crisscross of the where the sutures holding her arm in place had once been.

"And this is also where I stop talking about it." I announced quite adamantly as I turned to Sano-san so I could observe his nose. It had been splinted. "If you want to know more then you need to ask her instead. Also while you're here, Sano-san, I want to check on your nose."

"Ah, that?" Sano-san said, moving his face back to dodge my hands as I reached for the splint. "It's fine. Chizuru took care of it. It doesn't even hurt anymore."

Sano-san ducked under my hands once more before I got frustrated with him. I knew Chizuru-chan did a good job, I just wanted to see seriousness of the break was and he was being stubborn. I stifled a growl before I pinched his thigh to get him to stop moving away. At least Sano-san had the decency to look apologetic when I narrowed my eyes dangerously at him, just daring him to move one more time. I reached for the splint once more after Sano-san ceased backing away and pealed the bandages and splint away with a single delicate movement. It still looked quite swollen with the puffiest area being the bridge of the nose. The redness was already starting to fade away to be replaced by an ugly purple bruise. I tilted Sano-san's face to get a view from a different angle before putting the bandages and splint back into place.

"Well?" Sano-san asked, carefully observing me for any look of alarm.

"It's healing." I replied rather bluntly. "Did Souji apologize?"

"I think you know the answer to that. Souji doesn't apologize for things."

Sano-san did have a point there. Souji's apologizing for something is more like him moping around until he knows he forgiven when it came to me and Otou-san. As for everyone else, he wore the façade of indifference.

I sighed before fighting back another yawn. I couldn't sleep last night because I was operating, but I'm sure that these three probably also didn't sleep. They were probably too worried to. It wouldn't have been possible for them to sleep unless they were medicated.

"Alright, you three need to go to bed now." I ordered as I turned my attention back to Heisuke. "I know you three didn't sleep last night. If Heisuke wakes up or if there are any changes, I'll let the three of you know."

"And what about you?" Shinpachi-san objected as he pointed to my undoubtedly tired-looking eyes. "I saw you hiding that yawn there."

"Someone needs to keep an eye on Heisuke for any complications that may arise, and the last time I checked, we were in the medical wing. I'm king in the medical wing, so what I say goes." I said with a defiant upturn of my nose.

I had meant for that to sound sassy, but it came out flat. The three of them looked at me with a skeptical look, but in the end said nothing as they stood up and left the room in a single file line, each looking at me once more before exiting the room. They must of have known that I wouldn't budge on my decision, or just deemed it worth too much energy to stay and argue with me. The room returned to the uncomfortable silence that was here before they arrived as I went back fussing over Heisuke unhelpfully by stroking his left cheek. I wanted to be left alone, but the creeping silence became so uncomfortable after a couple of minutes that I nearly cried with relief when I heard the door slide open once more and saw a head poking in through the narrow opening.

"Shizuka?" Souji said, sounding strangely unsure and wary as peeked at me.

Just like the others, Souji looked just as sleep deprived, but he also seemed a little nervous. That nervousness was probably caused by me snapping at him several hours ago. But he shouldn't have looked so sleepy since I sent him off to go "watch" the kids, aka sleep. His eyes were bloodshot and his shoulders seemed to sag a bit despite seeming stiff.

When I offered him a small smile, the stiffness in his body seemed to evaporate as he took my smile to be an invitation to come in. Wasting no time, Souji slipped into the room to occupy the empty seat beside and placed a small kiss on my forehead.

"I thought I sent you off to bed. Why do you look so sleep-deprived?" I asked, placing a gentle touch on the side his face before I saw something that made my blood freeze in place. How had I not noticed it before?

On his neck, right above the jugular vein was a long shallow wound that had already scabbed over. This wasn't something typical like a shallow slash wound. The wound was wider than the normal wounds one would get from a bladed weapon. The skin surrounding the wound also seemed to have suffered from burns. A bullet had grazed Souji, and the most horrifying piece of information that I got from observing his neck wasn't that someone had pointed a gun and shot at my husband but from the fact that if that wound was deeper, his jugular vein would have been hit. He would have bled out in the matter of seconds.

But Souji, whom didn't seem to notice my reaction, continued nuzzling the top of my head before answering, "I couldn't sleep, and I definitely couldn't sleep when the wet-nurse Kondou-san hired arrived. I don't like her. She doesn't shut up on how 'horrible' it is to have to earn enough money to support her and her elderly parents." Souji then paused his act of affection when he noticed something missing from my hair. "Hmm? What happened to your kanzashi? Why aren't you wearing it?"

However, instead of answering the questions he asked, I tackled him to the floor with frantic and almost jerky movements so I could get a better look at the wound.

"Gah! Shizuka?!" he exclaimed in surprise as he tried get me to calm down by attempting to grab my hands.

"Why didn't you take better care of that wound? Why didn't you dress it?" I demanded instead as I touched the scab tentatively, fearing that the damage was worse than it seemed.

"Because it's not that bad." Souji answered exasperatedly as he managed to ease me off of him so he could sit up again. "It's already scabbed over. I didn't even need medicine. Shizuka?"

"You don't understand." I sniffed as I turned my head the other way, resulting in Souji placing a hand on my cheek so I would look at him. "If that wound had been deeper, it would have hit your jugular vein. You would have bled to death in a matter of seconds." I paused to take a deep breath before continuing, "What happened last night?"

Souji frowned and dropped the hand that was on my cheek so he could scratch the back of his neck.

"We were ambushed." he said, divulging the information I desperately wanted to know in an overly simplified matter. "Choshu and Satsuma worked together to ambush us after we disposed of Itou and most of his troop. I think four members of the Guard managed to escape. Amangiri and Shiranui were leading the Choshu and Satsuma samurai. They wanted to trade our lives for the custody of Chizuru-chan; we said no; we fought; then Heisuke threw his sword to protect Chizuru-chan; I blocked that Amangiri guy when he went to attack the weaponless idiot who threw his sword while another person took advantage of the situation and chopped the idiot's arm off; and while we were retreating, Shiranui shot a couple bullets at us, which all missed except for the one that grazed me when I went back for the idiot's arm. Now about your kanzashi…"

I threw myself at Souji at the end of his explanation, hugging him tightly while burying my face into his chest. His body jerked backwards a bit on impact, but he just as quickly wrapped his arms around me to hold me close while rubbing comforting circles into my back.

"It broke last night." I muttered, my voice muffled even more by Souji's chest. "Sannan-san took it and said that he would get it fixed for me."

"I see…" Souji said before tipping over on to his back after a calculated moment of silence, dragging me down with him. "You need sleep. I don't want to hear any excuses."

"But…"

"Kondou-san is with the kids and the dumb wet-nurse. And if you're worried about Heisuke then you can sleep here so that you'll be here when he wakes up." Souji said before pointing out, "A physician needs to be well rested to think clearly. A physician that isn't thinking clearly can't do her job properly."

What he said was true, but I just couldn't sleep. At least, not yet. There was too much to be done and too much to consider. There was the obvious one: Heisuke still needed to wake up from being put under. Then there was another issue that was tied very closely to Itou's assassination. Itou saw the Shinsengumi as a big enough threat, so he had planned on kill Otou-san and me with the kids. Choshu and Satsuma saw the Shinsengumi as a big enough threat to ambush us the night before to try to dispose of us, or at least deal some severe damage to us. Then there was Nagumo and the other oni, who were targeting me and Chizuru-chan. And if I added in the unstable politics, I had to ask myself: Just how dangerous is it to stay in Kyoto, especially with so many outside forces targeting the Shinsengumi? There was no way that the children would be safe here anymore. Kyoko-chan and Kenji-san definitely had the right idea of picking up and leaving Kyoto for a safer place to raise their child.

Even Matsumoto-sensei with Chinatsu weren't going to stay in Kyoto for that much longer. Matsumoto-sensei was planning to move back to Edo at the end of the month with Chinatsu, it was only that they wouldn't move back to Edo directly. Being a doctor in service to the Bakufu, Matsumoto-sensei had to be where he was stationed. Next month Matsumoto-sensei would be stationed in Osaka for about a month before heading back to Edo. Bottom line, everyone I knew that was smart was leaving Kyoto while it was still relatively safe to.

Now as much as I wanted to live somewhere safe with the children, I couldn't just pick up and leave the Shinsengumi. I had a job to do in the Shinsengumi and I wasn't about to leave Souji and Otou-san. But the children, they needed to go somewhere safe. As much as I didn't want to be separated from my kids, I wanted them to be safe. The best solution I could think of was to send the kids to Osaka with Chinatsu so when Matsumoto-sensei and Chinatsu headed for Edo, they could safely take the kids back to Edo with them and safety get them over to Tsune-san.

But what would Souji think of this? He loves his children dearly and I know for a fact that he didn't want to be separated from them. When Souji was young, death robbed him of his parents' love. What would he think if he was put in a situation where his children would be far from me and him? It would be more difficult for Souji to let his children know that he loves them from a distance.

"Shizuka, tell your brain to shut up so you can sleep." Souji huffed from beneath me. "I can hear your mind racing from here."

"Well, I can't just turn it off like some people, you know." I objected with a faux haughty expression in an attempt to chase away my unpleasant thoughts for now. There was still some time. Unpleasant thoughts could wait for now.

"Just what are your implications?" came the sharp reply accompanied with a quirked eyebrow.

"You should…" I replied only to drift off towards the end when I saw Heisuke's opened bleary eyes staring at me and Souji in confusion.

"Shizuka? Souji?" Heisuke muttered before groaning, "Why do I feel like I just spent all night drinking crappy saké? Ugh, I feel hungover."

Relief was a wonderful feeling.


	105. Chapter 102

A special thanks to **unicornmeat3** for helping me beta this chapter. A fresh pair of eyes is always helpful to the editing process. :D

* * *

**Chapter 102**

"I am afraid a monster is grown that will devour all of us. Yet we must fight him." ― Isaac Asimov, _Foundation and Empire_

One month after Itou's assassination and the destruction of the Guards of the Imperial Tomb, which became known as the Abura-Koji Incident, the Choshu and Satsuma began preparing for war in earnest by assembling their forces in Kyoto. To counter this, the Shinsengumi once again had to move headquarters and was stationed at the Fushimi magistrate's office.

I had always supported freedom of political beliefs, but I now found myself hating and detesting the Choshu and Satsuma, and hate was an incredibly strong word for me. The political beliefs of the Choshu and the Satsuma were dangerous, especially for families that were involved in politics, or at least had a relative involved in politics. The Shinsengumi had to move headquarters again just so the Bakufu could be prepared should war be inevitable. But the cold hard reality of the matter was that war was going to be inevitable. It wasn't IF war would break out, it was only a matter of WHEN. On my day to day chores when I had to leave headquarters, like to grocery shop, I could see the Choshu and Satsuma gearing up. They would clump up into large groups of men everywhere. They were on the side of the streets fingering the handles of their swords. They were in restaurants, inns, stores, public spaces. Just simply everywhere. They would be moving large weapon caches when there were no Shinsengumi patrols around. At one point, I even saw a cannon being pushed through a temple's front gates. And if there were Shinsengumi patrols around, the game of glares would begin. Each side would stab their opposing opponent with needlelike daggers from their eyes, each person ready to draw their blades at a given moment. The civilians would always fall into a deadly silence, not daring to breathe every time a Shinsengumi patrol would pass the enemy samurai. Bystanders were always quick to clear away, fearing that if they remained they would get caught in the crossfire if a fight were to erupt. The tension in the streets was thick enough to be cut with a single thread.

This was when the danger became unbelievably real to me. I had always know the possibility of being in danger just because of who Otou-san was and because of whom I married. I knew there would be one day I would actually be threatened, but the difference between knowing and experiencing it was as different as night and day. It happened just one week ago. I had gone out shopping for groceries with Ryota prancing around after me like a fawn.

_"__Come on, Ryota. Keep up. You don't want to get lost, do you?" I teased Ryota as he pranced around behind me, stopping to stare at the wonderful and fun looking things the stores had placed outside on displayed._

_His eyes were wide with wonder as he stopped every few seconds to grab my attention and point at something he had never seen before. However, his favorite things were always the colorful tako__**[1]**__ out on display. They were all just always painted with such wonderful characters and colors._

_"__Okaa-san!" Ryota chirped as he sprinted to my side so he could grab my hand and pull me towards the most recent display that caught his eye. He pointed at the tako hanging over the doorframe of a toy store. "Dragon!"_

_The tako that had caught his eye was a beautifully and wonderfully designed piece of art and by the looks of it, it was one of those complicated pieces that was used in festivals. The face was three dimensional, pieced together by several different bright colors of paper while the long snake-like body was held together by string and possessed different chiyogami__**[2]**__ patterns that were created via wood blocks._

_"__Rawr!" Ryota said, adorably mimicking how the dragon might sound if it were alive before pointing to it once more with puppy face._

_"__Don't you already have a tako?" I replied to him as a gentle reminder while bending down to his eye level and brushing away some snow that had fallen in his hair. "Didn't Sannan-oji-san make a tako for you?"_

_"__But dragon!" Ryota insisted as he pointed to the complex tako again. I guess the smaller goldfish kite that Sannan-san made for Ryota was less appealing than a professionally made flying paper dragon._

_ "__No, Ryota. You already have a tako. Besides, winter isn't the best time to fly a tako. The snow will ruin the paper."_

_Poor little Ryota deflated at my answer before copping up an attitude by huffing and crossing his arms while refusing to look at me. Despite the fact that he was trying to act defiant, I thought it was far too cute and found myself giggling much to Ryota's objection._

_"__Okaa-san! No laugh at me!" he pouted before tugging at my hands again with embarrassed red cheeks. How cute. "Stop it! I trying to be serious."_

_"__Alright, Okaa-san will stop." I answered with an amused smile slapped across my face, which made Ryota regard me warily before tugging me towards a nearby stand that was selling satoimo__**[3]**__, making me stand up and walk towards the stand. Ryota didn't seem all that happy with my answer, but he was satisfied enough to not have me giggling at him._

_"__Well, look who it is." an anonymous man nearby seemed to announce. I paused to see who was speaking only to realize that he was speaking to a group of three men with him while eyeing me with a look that just spelled trouble. _

_Only by seeing the mon stitched onto his haori did I realize that he was one of the samurai from the Satsuma domain that had been occupying Kyoto and preparing for war. Upon that realization, I subtly nudged Ryota behind me with my knee with my hand cautiously inching towards my naginata that I had strapped onto my back. Maybe we'd get lucky it would just be him saying some nasty words to me. Maybe he wouldn't actually do anything physical. Besides, it would be risky for everyone if the man did something physical to me. Not only was I a civilian with a child, I was the wife of a commanding officer. If I was attacked then the Shinsengumi would have an excuse to attack the Satsuma and Choshu while they were still preparing for war, something they could not risk right now._

_The man who spoke approached me with a confidently smug gait as he circled around me and Ryota painfully slowly, like a shark that was intimidating it meal before eating it._

_"__I didn't think the Shinsengumi would let their whores leave headquarters." the man said with a chuckle as he grinned at the other men that were with him. "Especially since the 'strict' code forbids them from having women at headquarters is publicly known. You'd think that they would want to at least keep what's good in their diabolic reputation by hiding their dirty laundry. Tut, tut, hypocrites that break their own code are disgusting."_

_"__Well, then it's a good thing that I'm not just some mere woman to them, isn't it?" came my snide remark before I spat at the man's feet, causing his face to twist in disgust before he accosted me._

_He was so close that I could feel his spit land on my face when he spoke, "No, clearly you're not just a simple whore, Okita-sensei, but they could have clearly taught you some better manners. You need to respect your betters."_

_"__Excellent. When I find a person with manners, he'll get the respect he deserves. And you should get out of my face. Your breath reeks of rotten fish."_

_The man snarled at my cocky response and pulled his hand back to backhand me, but before he could actually strike my face, he paused his action to see what had struck him on the leg. As if to make matters worse, Ryota, who was behind me the last time I checked, had stepped out from under my shadow and whacked the man's leg with the little wooden sword he always carried with him._

_"__Bad man!" Ryota exclaimed with a foolishly brave face. "No be mean to Okaa-san!"_

_At that moment, all the civilians that had not already fled the scene vanished out of fear of a fight erupting. The man's face twisted in ugly angry as he prepared to punt Ryota while I was about ready to slice his foot off with my naginata. However, before anyone of us could act, a giant furball shot out from under a nearby shop stall and latched its teeth onto the man's pant leg._

_"__What the hell?!" the man shouted before he kicked the strange creature off his leg. "Shit!"_

_The furball released the man's pant leg with a whine pain when the foot connected with its side, but it recovered near instantly and crouched down while growling and snapping with ferocious rage. It reared back, getting ready to pounce again and the man who kicked it grew pale as he was reaching for his katana._

_"__Kenta-san, what are you doing? Just cut down the mongrel already so we can continue with our business." one of the three men with my harasser said._

_"__No, we're done here." the man, who was apparently named Kenta, answered. "Everyone, we're going to back away slowly so that dog doesn't attack."_

_"__It's just a dog. Just stab the damn thing, coward." said another man, only to be berated by Kenta._

_"__Then you're a damn idiot. Do you know what the hell that dog is? It's an Ainu dog__**[4]**__. Those things are hunting dogs that are capable of confronting a bear. Be my guest if you want to have your leg ripped off. Besides, by the looks of that thing, it's a stray. You know how strays carry rabies. You'll be dead in a matter of days if it breaks your skin with its teeth."_

_"__What about that Okita bastard's woman?"_

_"__She not worth dying to a dog bite. We're done." Kenta repeated once more before leading the group of men with a slow and cautious pace and out of sight._

_"__Okaa-san, doggie!" Ryota said as he fearlessly pointed at the still snarling dog, and as he began walking towards the dog, I quickly pulled him away._

_This happy incident of the dog saving me and Ryota from a dangerous confrontation wasn't without risks too. I was glad that the stray dog was in the area and that it saved us, but what Kenta had said was also very true. Ainu dogs were powerful hunting dogs that were capable of taking on wild boars and bears. The fact that it was also a stray was a whole other factor. It meant that it was most likely not socialized to be around humans and had the possibility of carrying rabies. It could be uncontrollably aggressive towards humans._

_"__No, Ryota. The doggie can be dangerous." I warned Ryota, but he didn't seem to understand as he called out to the dog._

_"__Doggie! Here doggie!"_

_Then as if a child's voice was magical, the dog stopped growling at the direction the men disappeared in and sat down facing us with its tail wagging and its tongue hanging out the side of it mouth in a goofy but well-mannered way. This dog was surprisingly friendly! It was a little thin and dirty from living on the streets, and probably had fleas, but it seemed well-behaved and unaggressive. By the looks of it, it was also a young dog. Judging by its development and size, it was probably a little younger than one year old. As for the rabies fear, it seemed to lack any symptoms of rabies. Its jaw wasn't dropped, its bark sounded normal, there was no lack of muscular coordination, it wasn't unusually shy or aggressive, and there was no excessive salivation or frothy saliva. There was the possibility that it did have rabies and the disease was in its early stages, but I doubted it. Rabies was a notoriously fast killing disease with near immediate symptoms._

_To test out just how friendly the dog was, I whistle out to it while tapping on both my thighs to see if I could get it to come to me. And just like that, the dog trotted up to me with its tail wagging and proceeded to give kisses._

_I was a dog owner in my past life so I did hear stories about dogs saving people all the time, but to actually experience it myself. It was almost unbelievable._

And so the harassment I experienced from the Satsuma samurai the week before had been constantly on my mind. It was from that event that I decided I had to speak to Souji. To keep our children safe, we needed to send our children to live with Tsune-san for a while. However, this was easier said than done and led up to our current situation.

"I can't believe that you're even suggesting this, Shizuka! How can you even think about sending our kids away?!"

Yeah. The talk wasn't going smoothly at all. It all escalated into a shouting match in a matter of seconds with Heisuke and the puppy I picked up that day as our audience.

"Souji! Listen to me, it's for their safety! And it's not like it'll be permanent!"

"Ho? Not permanent you say?" Souji raised his voice rather sarcastically as he raised both his hands in mockingly in his exasperation. "My ane said the same thing with she left me at Shieikan, and did she come back for me?"

"Souji, that's a completely different situation—"

"Different how?!"

"In many ways, you blind moron! Ane-ue's reasons for leaving you at Shieikan was that she was unable to take care of you! Our reason will be for safety! I will not risk our children getting caught in the crossfire of war! We are their parents and it's our job to do everything to keep them safe."

"And are you saying I'm not strong enough to keep them safe?!"

"This has nothing to do with that!" I snapped in frustration. Why couldn't he understand? "I know you're strong, but what can your sword do against rifles?!"

"You know those rifles are utter shit! They have crap accuracy and take forever to load! I'll be able to take down our enemies before they even get a chance to shoot me!"

"Oh will you grow up, Souji! These aren't the same rifles that have been on Japan for the past century. The world has changed and the technology with it! The guns our enemies will be using are the new Western guns! If a bullet from one of the rifles hit a bone then it'll shatter the bone! There's a reason the amputation rate has gone up in the other countries!"

"Oh? And what about that time you took a bullet to your leg, huh?! It only fractured a bone, it didn't shatter!"

"That's because only because I got lucky and the bullet grazed the bone instead of hitting it directly!"

"Umm…" Heisuke cut in looking nervous and unsure while sitting on his futon as the puppy sat by his side with its tail still wagging. "This IS the medical wing and wouldn't it be more productive to talk calmly instead of yelling at each other?"

"Heisuke, shut up. This has nothing to do with you." Souji snapped bluntly, pissing me off even more. Seriously, just what was his problem?

"Don't tell Heisuke to shut up! It's not his fault he has to be here to listen to us fight!" I growled at Souji before addressing Heisuke. "But in all seriousness, do shut up. This has nothing to do with you."

"Wha…? You guys are mental." Heisuke muttered, just barely audible over the puppy who decided to bark, which set Souji off again.

"And seriously, you had to bring home a dog, Shizuka?! For someone who says we need to send our kids away for safety reasons, you think we can keep a dog right now?!"

"That's completely a whole other issue! Yukio saved me and Ryota that day! I couldn't just leave him, especially when he looked thin! Besides, Ryota wanted to keep him!"

"Don't give the dog a name! We aren't keeping him! And he's no longer thin! You fed him more than enough this past week! You can let him go now!"

"I can't believe you're being so—" I hissed at Souji only to cut myself off midsentence when I heard a hoard of rushed footsteps running towards the medical wing.

Of all the— What happened now?

"This way, quickly!" I heard Chizuru-chan cry in a panicked voice amidst the panicked footsteps. "We need to get in and stop the bleeding now!"

As if the day couldn't get any worst, what came through the doors was blood chilling as my world came crashing down. Otou-san, who was supposed to be at Nijo Castle for a war conference, was laying in pain on a stretcher. Blood was soaking through his clothing at his shoulder, and then I saw it. In his shoulder, a bullet wound. He was hemorrhaging. The look of horror on Souji's face right now was exactly what I felt as I sprung up to meet the people bring Otou-san in.

"What happened?!" I cried as I desperately tried to stop the bleeding with my bare hands by putting pressure on the wound, but to my horror, blood continued to gush out of the wound and escape Otou-san's body through my fingers. "This can't be happening. Put him down on one of the futons so I can treat him properly! NOW! Yamazaki-san! Fetch my medical instruments! Chizuru-chan! Find me the morphine!"

How? I could remember Otou-san waving and smiling happily at me this morning on his horse before he left for Nijo Castle with Inoue-san and Shimada-san! How did Otou-san go from that lively man from this morning to this dying man lying in front of me?! This… This couldn't be real! It had to be impossible! But my eyes weren't lying to me and my sense of touch wasn't lying to me as I watched the blood leave his body and felt the blood escaping through my fingers. But even despite the severity of this situation, Otou-san, who was somehow still conscious, offered me a weak smile. How… I didn't understand how Otou-san could still smile in this situation.

"Second Division! Tenth Division! Move out!" I heard Shinpachi-san's faded voice in among the throng of people. "We're catchin' the people who did this! Move it! You're headed for the main road!"

The large group of nearby soldiers murmured as the rumble of marching echoed across the courtyard as Shinpachi-san and Sano-san lead some men out to investigate the scene of the shooting. Meanwhile, Hijikata-san knelt down beside me with a stricken expression. His brow was furrowed as he stared at the bullet wound while his hands were clenched so tightly that they turned white.

"He was shot in the shoulder…" Hijikata-san said as he announced his observation to himself before turning to Otou-san. There was the look of dread on his face, but surprisingly no fear. "Kondou-san, can you move your arm?"

Unable to answer in the due to the pain, Otou-san merely shook his head slowly at Hijikata-san before focusing on me with a grim expression that somehow still carried a thread of hope.

"Dammit!" I growled to myself in a low voice as I put more pressure on the wound, but to no avail. Blood was soaking Otou-san's sleeve and was still dripping steadily to the futon he was laying on. "The bleeding won't stop. I don't have a trauma clamp[5]… I need a hemostatic agent[6] to get the blood to start clotting."

"Shimada-san, what happened?" Hijikata-san asked, turning to Shimada-san while half watching my attempt to stop the bleeding.

"We were attacked on the way back from Nijo Castle." Shimada-san answered as the muscles around his jaw tightened. He looked at Hijikata-san for a brief moment before returning to glare at the floor. "They came out of nowhere. Kondou-san was nearly shot off of his horse. If he'd fallen off, I don't know if we'd have been able to…"

Shimada-san paused for a while to close his eyes in anguish before he continued speaking.

"Anyway, they had us surround by the time we figured out what was going on. We broke through, but it was a tough fight."

"If they'd aimed for the horse, I don't think we'd be having this conversation." Hijikata-san remarked with a low voice as he turned to look at Otou-san again. Even though Otou-san had been shot, considering the situation, things still could have turned out far worse. "Lucky for us they're idiots."

"And how the hell is it fucking lucky for us that Kondou-san was even shot at all, huh?!" Souji, who was shocked into silence earlier, finally erupted as he agitatedly strolled up to Hijikata-san to grab him by the front of his shirt. "How the hell does that even happen?! ANSWER ME, HIJIKATA-SAN!"

"Souji! Calm down!" Inoue-san immediately intervened as he grabbed Souji's wrist in an attempt to get him to release Hijikata-san.

"I AM calm!" Souji all but roared, but he released Hijikata-san like he was dropping a hot potato and stepped back to take a deep breath. However, the mask of calmness didn't even last three seconds as he looked Hijikata-san in the eyes and snapped again. "Why the hell would you only send three men with him?! What are you, insane?! You know how dangerous it is out there for him right now!"

By the end, Souji was trembling with rage as he snarled viciously at Hijikata-san. It was a miracle that Souji hadn't attempted to kill Hijikata-san at this point.

"Kondou-san was going to Nijo Castle for a war conference, as the Chief of the Shinsengumi. Some of the other people there were shogunate bigwigs. He couldn't show up with a bunch of guards." Hijikata-san answered strangely calm, which seemed to piss off Souji even more.

"…Some of the men high up in the government aren't real fond of the Shinsengumi." Shimada-san then added in support of Hijikata-san, but that seemed to have little effect on Souji's rage.

"And they might have gotten the wrong idea, is that what you're saying?" Souji growled as his tight jaw shifted. His voice seemed sharp enough to dismember as he glared down at Hijikata-san. "So it's more important for us to look good than for Kondou-san to not get fucking shot?!"

"I didn't say that." Hijikata-san replied in a quiet voice. It was like he wasn't even attempting to protect himself from Souji's anger.

Seemingly having enough of Souji blaming purely Hijikata-san, Inoue-san and Shimada-san stepped in between Souji and Hijikata-san with their hands raised placating.

"Souji, this isn't Hijikata-san's fault." Inoue-san said as he tried to talk down Souji, but for all I could see, it was like talking to a brick wall. "Isami-san only wanted to take us for his escort."

"So if you want to blame someone, we're it." Shimada-san added while looking contrite. "It was our job to protect the chief, and we failed."

But Inoue-san's and Shimada-san's words seemed to have little effect on Souji if Souji's furious glare was anything to go on. No, Souji insisted that the blame was all Hijikata-san's.

"It's hard to protect somebody from a gunshot, Shimada-san. Not your fault. Hijikata-san put Kondou-san's life in danger when he let him go out with only three men. Besides, I'm finding it a liiiiittle hard to believe that was really what Kondou-san wanted to do. Maybe someone talked him into it… Someone who's always trying to look good. Someone like…Hijikata-san?"

"Souji!" Inoue-san scolded, but to little effect.

Then Hijikata-san spoke with a sigh, sounding totally defeated by life. "Kondou-san…didn't want to risk leaving the magistrate's office undefended just to cover his own tail. This place represents Yoshinobu's authority in Kyoto. He didn't want to take any chances with it. I let him do it. That was my mistake."

"If he dies, it's your ass in the fire, Hijikata-san." Souji snapped one last time before stomping out while Hijikata-san said absolutely nothing, making the situation go from bad to worst.

I knew Souji didn't have the best temperament and he was rash. I knew that Souji would seek revenge on the ones who dared to shoot Otou-san and if he didn't know who, Souji's strategy would be to slaughter Satsuma and Choshu samurai until some came forward with a confession. Not only was it foolish, it was incredibly dangerous. Souji wouldn't even stop to consider that Otou-san was shot with a gun, not stabbed by a sword. He didn't even think about how he would counter a gun with a katana. That idiot! Souji couldn't be allowed to leave headquarters, not while he was behaving like this, but I couldn't go talk him down right now. I couldn't even get Otou-san to stop bleeding right now.

"No luck stopping the bleeding?" Yamazaki-san asked me as he peered over my shoulder as he returned with my tools. "We have to cauterize the wound."

"But that'll leave too much scar tissue." Chizuru-chan objected. "You know that scar tissue is less elastic. It might impede movement."

"Chizuru-chan's right, but Yamazaki-san has a point too. Not having too much scar tissue won't matter if we can't get the bleeding to stop. One of you grab that clay pot on the middle shelf." I spoke to my assistants. "It has some powdered kaolin clay in there. It'll absorb the water from the wound and increase the concentration of clotting factors. When the bleeding stops enough for Otou-san to be stable, we'll explore the wound and fix any damage."

"O-Okay!" Chizuru-chan stuttered as she rushed off to grab the clay pot.

"And Hijikata-san?" I said, trying not to be swallowed by unnecessary emotion. I needed to focus. "Go talk to Souji. If he doesn't have anybody to take his anger out on then I'm afraid he'll act out in uncontrollable ways. Distract him long enough until I'm able to talk to him. Saito-san, you go too. Keep Souji from killing Hijikata-san."

* * *

I sat beside unconscious Otou-san with Ryota clasping Otou-san's hand while sitting on the opposite side in the evening. The dog, Yukio, laid on his stomach behind Ryota, acting like the backboard to a chair. Ryota didn't know what was wrong with his grandfather, but he knew something was wrong since his grandfather never took naps.

The surgery had revealed the full extent of the damage done by the bullet. When shot, the bullet had completely gone through the shoulder, leaving torn muscle and a ripped bicep tendon that had to be repaired. The actual wound itself wouldn't take terribly long to heal up, but the damaged tendon made it a whole other story. There had to be a rehabilitation period to regain the same strength and control from before. If a battle did break out any time soon in Kyoto, Otou-san wouldn't be physically able to participate as a warrior.

"Shizuka-chan, I'm sure Kondou-san will wake up soon." Heisuke said to assure me as he occupied the futon next to Otou-san's, yelping as the twins crawling all over his lap accidently hit his family jewels.

"I know." I answered bluntly without taking my eyes off of Otou-san. "Once the bleeding was under control, the wound wasn't even all that serious, but…"

I bit my lips and tore my eyes off of Otou-san as I stared at my lap whist trying to stop the tears that appeared in the corner of my eyes.

"Otou-san was just always so lively, and now…and now he's…" I said before cutting myself off with a desperate sniff.

Now that I wasn't forced into my role as a surgeon, now that I wasn't being forced to be strong, all I wanted to do was cry. There was no one else I wanted more than Souji right now, but he was still wandering headquarters in frustration. Plus the fight I had with him before all of this happened… Even if he was here, would he still be angry with me?

"Oh no… No, no, no, no! Please don't cry, Shizuka-chan!" Heisuke cried in a panic when the first tear dropped.

"I'm not crying." I insisted, but it was obviously a lie with the silent tears cascading down my checks.

It was useless to wipe the tears away. With every tear streak removed by my sleeves, a new one soon replaced it. Everything seemed to have gone wrong so fast. There was no time to cope. There was never time to cope. We were all lively and cheerful at one time, and now…now it was like Death sang a sour note.

"No, no! Shizuka-chan look this way!" Heisuke chirped as he pulled on his cheeks to make a silly face in an attempt to make me laugh, but it just made things worse as I started to whimper now too.

"Heisuke, stop it. You're just making it worse." a new voice said, sounding less than amused.

"Souji! Where the hell have you been?!" Heisuke seemed to yelp, though he did sound relieved. "I don't know what to do! She just won't stop!"

"You're the wrong person for this job."

And then I was in Souji's warm embrace.

"Everything'll will be okay." Souji whispered into my ear, sounding gentler than he had all day. "Kondou-san will recover well because you were the one who took care of his wound, and Matsumoto-sensei will make sure he gets enough rest when he goes to Osaka to recover with Heisuke."

"S-Souji…" I whimpered before pressing myself as close as possible to his chest.

"And…" Souji continued before pausing to take a deep breath as he turned to look at Otou-san. "The kids… They'll go with Kondou-san and Heisuke to Osaka so Chinatsu can take them to Tsune-san in Edo. They'll be safer there too… And the dog goes with them too. For extra protection."

As much as I wanted to hear Souji say that, it was heartbreaking to hear a man say that when he realized that he wasn't enough to protect his own family.

* * *

[1] Tako are old-style kites traditionally made with Japanese handmade paper and bamboo. Although Japanese kites date back to the Nara period (649-794 AD), different regions became known for different designs during the Edo period. Tokyo kites were rectangular and painted in a woodblock print style, while Nagasaki is still known for its diamond fighter kites. Nagoya has kites based on insect shapes like horseflies, cicadas, and bees, each with a hummer that buzzes in the wind! Hamamatsu makes hexagonal kites which are used in a Boys' Day (May 5th) kite festival. Teams compete to keep in the air and cut down the other team's kite lines.

[2] The word Chiyogami comes from the roots chiyo (thousand generation) and gami (paper). Chiyogami is Washi paper that has been hand stenciled or printed with traditional Japanese imagery using bright colors and patterns. Appearing during the Edo period, Chiyogami was traditionally used to craft paper object especially dolls. It gained tremendous popularity among origami fans because it offered a great visual presences and was less costly than some of the other Washi papers at the time. It still remains a favorite among folders and adds a richness to any paper craft project.

[3] Satoimo are eaten throughout Asia, especially in India, China, Korea and Japan. They are a starchy root vegetable known for their somewhat sticky, slimy texture. Satoimo are always cooked before eaten, and typically appear in boiled or stewed dishes. Satoimo can be added to miso soup, Japanese hot pot (nabe), Japanese curry or appear battered and deep fried.

[4] The Hokkaido (北海道犬 Hokkaidō-inu or Hokkaidō-ken) is a breed of dog. Other names for the breed include Ainu-ken, Seta, Ainu dog. In Japan, its name is sometimes shortened to Dō-ken. The Hokkaido is native to the prefecture of the same name in Japan.

[5] The ITClamp is essentially a sterile, plastic clamp approximately five centimeters in length, with curved needles along the "jaws" of the device. In a trauma situation, the responder clamps the device along the wound. The curved needles and the shape of the ITClamp draw the wound up into the device and anchor it with even pressure, allowing the blood underneath to create a clot around the wound and help stop the bleeding until the victim receives further medical attention.

[6] An antihemorrhagic agent is a substance that promotes hemostasis. It may also be known as a hemostatic agent.


	106. Chapter 103

My goodness, this chapter was certainly difficult to write. I had actually discarded my first three drafts before I got a draft I thought was okay. So, another special thanks to **unicornmeat3** for the help. It was greatly appreciated.

Yet again, any critical reviews will help greatly and may also shape the direction this story is heading towards. So let me know what you liked, disliked, and what you think can be improved. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 103**

"Older men declare war. But it is youth that must fight and die." ― Herbert Hoover

It was lonely as January 1868 rolled in from around the corner. Most of my days in the past were spent chasing the pitter patter of tiny feet, but with the children gone what remained was a type of bitter emptiness. As December was coming to a silence close; Ryota, the twins, and even the dog; left for Osaka with Otou-san and Heisuke. That day was bitter and bitingly cold as both Mizuki and Akiko refused to stop crying when they were both handed off to Otou-san. As for Ryota, even though he promised to be a good, strong, older brother, he had trouble holding back his tears as he tried to stifle them with a sniffle. For a good chunk of the morning before he was sent off, Ryota spent that time clinging on to both me and Souji like a lifeline. While Mizuki and Akiko were too young to even comprehend any of this, seeing as they were only eight months old, Ryota, who was now a little over three, knew they were all being sent away but he didn't understand why.

_"__I bad?" Ryota had asked me and Souji with tear-filled eyes the morning before he left. "No! I promise be good!" he then swore as he clutched the bottom of my kimono, burring his little face into the fabric as he let out a heart wrenching whine._

_"__No, Ryota's not a bad boy." Souji assured Ryota instantly by kneeling down to Ryota's height and ruffling his hair. "There are lots of bad men in Kyoto right now and both Mizuki and Akiko won't be safe here, so we need to send the girls somewhere safe and they'll need their brave onii-san to keep them safe. Can you do that for me? Can you keep Tou-san's precious little girls safe?"_

_Still teary-eyed but looking much better now, Ryota pulled his face off the bottom of my kimono to nod in affirmation at his father before running into his father's arms._

After the children arrived in Osaka, they weren't even really allowed to get comfortable. A week after their arrival in Osaka, the children left Osaka for Edo with Chinatsu and Matsumoto-sensei. At the current moment, they should still be on the road, though they should be close to Edo right about now. As for the dog, Yukio, I swear that he was godsent. Matsumoto-sensei had already written to me and Souji about how Mizuki had crawled off into some nearby woods while they were traveling when no one was looking and how it was Yukio who had quickly found her before she had gotten too far into the woods. Souji may have not been fond of the dog in the beginning, but with that act, Yukio had quickly cemented himself as a permanent fixture in the Okita family.

As for here in headquarters, it was far too quiet for my taste. Otou-san wasn't around with his boisterous and infectious laugh, and the medical wing was silent without Heisuke around to keep me company. Hijikata-san had taken full command of the Shinsengumi in Otou-san's absence and was working himself to death despite Chizuru-chan attempting to get him to sleep. Attempting being the keyword. Sannan-san was now out of sight of the majority of the day because he was preparing the rasetsu corps for war. And as for the captains, the days were filled with too much work that was far too tense.

"Shizuka-chan." Chizuru-chan said, announcing her presence behind me in the medical wing. In her hands was another tray of untouched, cold food from the night before. "I can't get Hijikata-san to eat. He's always saying he doesn't have time to."

"This is a problem." I replied as I put a pause on doing inventory to take the tray from Chizuru-chan. It really wasn't touched at all. Not even the rice had been shoved around. How long had it been since Hijikata-san last ate something? "I swear he'll die from starvation first if someone doesn't shoot him before that."

"Oh no. Don't say that." Chizuru-chan exclaimed with a small gasp. It probably seemed like I was placing a curse on Hijikata-san or something like that, but I didn't feel like sugarcoating the truth.

"Well, let's see what I can do about it." I said as I handed the tray back to Chizuru-chan. "Can you prepare some fresh food and tea for him? I can go and try to talk him into at least taking a bite."

Looking rejuvenated by my support, Chizuru-chan said a cheerful, "Okay!" before scurrying off to the kitchen to prepare something fresh for Hijikata-san. With one more quick once-over over all the medical supplies I had stockpiled up, I headed to where Hijikata-san was working.

"What do you want, Shizuka?" Hijikata-san's gruff voice filtered through the closed door as I was standing outside his room.

"How do you always know it's me?"

I slid the door open and let myself in without waiting for his approval. It's not like he would give it anyways.

Several days of being overworked and his face clearly showed it. His face was rather pale and gaunt, and the dark rings around his eyes almost made it look like someone had socked him in the face. I placed my hand on his forehead as I knelt down beside him. On his desk was an unfinished document and scattered all across his floor were wads of rejected documents. The especially large mountain of crumpled paper sitting on his futon was a testament of how sleep deprived he was.

"Tch," he snorted back at me almost dismissively as he shook my hand off, "The way you walk, and I could see your shadow on the door. What do you want?"

"Someone came to tattle on you." I answered as I placed my hand back onto his forehead, much to his displeasure. He did feel a little warm. "She said you weren't eating. Something about being too busy? Which, by the way, I think is complete bullshit. All you're doing is eating. It's not like you have to cook your meal before being able to eat, so be grateful and eat your food. You can even eat and work at the same time too. Besides, if you die from starvation, then nothing will get done anyway. And if you're not going to sleep, then the least you could do is eat something, even if it's just a small snack."

"Don't you have other things to worry about? Like yourself and Souji maybe?" Hijikata-san insisted as he removed my hand from his forehead again. "Speaking of sleep, what about yourself? Or are the raccoon eyes a new popular style I'm unaware of?"

One would think that with the children safely tucked away at Tsune-san's place that I would sleep better. After all, the twins were still young and while they didn't eat as much as Ryota did when he was an infant, they demanded more frequent feeding sessions. They also did like to wake up in the middle of the night. But the main reason I wasn't sleeping well anymore was because of those empty spots on the futon where the kids would sleep. The twins would be cuddled up to each other while they slept and Ryota would cuddle up to my one side and Souji to the other side, but all there was now was emptiness.

As for Souji, just because he slept on my other side, the kids actually couldn't cuddle up to him when they slept, but Souji still missed their presence at night. Nearly every night since the children had been sent away, whenever he thought I was asleep, he would go sit on the roka right outside our room and stare at the moon for hours. But the hole our children left behind wasn't the only reason we had problems sleeping. Otou-san was in Osaka recovering from his injury still. A good portion of the night was also spent worrying about him.

"Well, at least I'm trying to sleep well so I can keep my energy levels up. You on the other hand…" I pointed out, causing Hijikata-san to make a face at me.

"Hijikata-san?" Chizuru-chan said, making her presence known as she poked her head into the room. Resting in her hands was a fresh tray of rice balls.

"Not you too…" grumbled Hijikata-san, crossing his arm in the process, but he just looked too tired to be intimidating.

"Hijikata-san, you have to eat something! It's not healthy for you to keep skipping meals…"

Poor Chizuru-chan looked so downtrodden, but that was perfect.

"Chizuru-chan is always staying up extra late to try to take care of you and she always puts her best into cooking these meals for you. Oh my goodness, is the reason you're not eating because you don't like her cooking?" I asked almost mockingly while raising my brow at Hijikata-san.

"Oh…" Chizuru-chan said, sounding more depressed.

"What?! No, that's not it!" Hijikata-san exclaimed in a rush before he snatched a rice ball up and bit into it, all whist giving me a discrete dirty look. "It's delicious."

"Really?" Chizuru-chan instantly perked up and had such a sweet smile on her face.

"Yeah." Hijikata-san said, his face softening toward her. "But I haven't eaten in such a long time, so I don't think rice balls will be enough."

"I'll make you a proper warm meal!" And just like that, Chizuru-chan was gone like the wind, thus giving Hijikata-san the freedom to give another dirty look.

"I know what you're doing. Don't set Chizuru on me."

"Then you should eat properly."

"Besides, it's not Shizuka's fault that you're soft on Chizuru-chan." Souji added on to what I said as he poked his head into the bedroom. Saito-san was standing behind Souji and both of them still had their uniform on. Did they need to report something that happened while on patrol?

"Excuse me." Saito-san said politely with a slight bow before letting himself into the room.

Saito-san took a seat in front of Hijikata-san in a respectful manner while Souji strolled into the room and plopped himself next to me in a carefree attitude. Seeing me raise an eyebrow at him, Souji offered me a quirky smile and tucked a pink camellia he picked during patrol in the spot where my kanzashi use to reside before turning to Hijikata-san.

"Vice Commander, we have reason to believe Satsuma and Choshu will attack soon." Saito-san announced, starting off this _delightful_ conversation.

"What?" Hijikata-san said, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "Explain."

"It's obvious that the Satsuma and Choshu samurai are still in Kyoto, but they're not loitering around on the streets anymore." Souji answered, his voice somewhat serious. "They're getting organized."

"The atmosphere is also far more tense than before despite the streets having grown silent. They are preparing to launch an attack. We must be on guard." Saito-san added. "What are we to do, Vice Commander?"

"Be prepared for when the attack comes." Hijikata-san answered, looking more like a great general more than ever before. "We can't attack the Choshu and Satsuma first unless we have solid proof that they will attack us. We can't attack them based on a gut feeling. If we attack them while unprovoked, it'll make the Shogun look bad. Besides, we should be fine if they attack us first. The Shogun has 15,000 men at his disposal while the combined armies of Satsuma and Choshu only number 5,000 men."

"So we're just waiting to get shot to hell first?" Souji asked with a mocking snort, clearly showing that he disapproved of Hijikata-san's decision. No one liked waiting to get attacked.

"You want to take command, Souji?" Hijikata-san growled back, annoyed with the seemingly lax attitude.

"No way, Hijikata-san." Souji answered with another snort before putting his hands under my arms while getting up so I would stand up with him. "That's not my job."

Souji then ushered me out the room with him, taking me back to the medical wing. In the privacy of the medical wing, he then stopped what he was doing and pecked me lightly on the forehead.

"When the fighting breaks out, I want you to stay here and care for the injured. I don't want you going out into the battlefield nor do I want any heroics from you. Understand?"

Not willing to say no to the serious face he was making at me right now, I merely nodded in return, even if I did disagree with him.

* * *

Merely two days after that conversation, on January 3, battle erupted. In the areas where the fighting was most intense, fire ate away at the buildings as cannonballs and bullets blew holes in every surface. The civilians? Most had long fled before the soldiers took over the abandoned buildings and used them as cover.

"The bleeding has stopped." Chizuru-chan said to the man whose arm she was bandaging. It didn't look like a too much of a serious injury, but it was still painful, especially since we had to save the pain killers for the more serious injuries. "Please try to stay conscious."

Chizuru-chan flinched as the building shook as another cannonball landed near headquarters before she looked to me in nervous concern. There was a real chance that a cannonball could come crashing into headquarters at any time. The wooden roof did little to add to the feeling of safety.

"Shizuka-chan?"

"Just focus on your job." I answered as I stitched up my own patient's gaping wound on his thigh. "As much as we want the cannon fire to stop, it's not our job. Our job is to keep the injured from dying. Don't think about anything else."

And we really did have to focus. From treating the first couple of injured that came through the doors, I had come to realize that we had more bullet wounds than slash wounds. Our enemy's primary weapon wasn't the sword or spear like us, but guns.

Contrary to popular belief, Japan had long been familiar with gunpowder weaponry due to its proximity to China. Firearms first appeared in Japan around approximately 1270, as primitive metal tube invented in China called teppō. However, these weapons lacked the complexity of the modern gun. They were very basic with no trigger or sights and definitely could not even compare to the more advanced European weapons which were introduced in 1543.

The first documented introduction of the matchlock which became known as the tanegashima[1] was through the Portuguese in 1543. The tanegashima was based on snap matchlocks that were produced in the armory of Goa in Portuguese India, which was captured by the Portuguese in 1510. The name tanegashima came from the island where a Chinese ship with Portuguese adventurers on board were driven to anchor by a storm. The lord of the Japanese island Tanegashima, Tokitaka, purchased two matchlock muskets from the Portuguese adventurers and put a swordsmith to work in copying the matchlock barrel and firing mechanism. Within a few years the use of the tanegashima in battle forever changed the way war was fought in Japan. From 1560 onwards, firearms were used in large battles in Japan.

According to a couple of books I had borrowed from Otou-san, during the Sengoku Period between 1467 to 1590 in Japan, as the feudal lords fought for supremacy, matchlock guns were used extensively and a decisive role in warfare. In 1549, Oda Nobunaga had ordered 500 matchlocks to be made for his armies. The benefits of the firearms were still relatively questionable compared to the other weapons of the time. From what I gathered, the guns were rather primitive and cumbersome. It was estimated that in 16th century Japan, an archer could fire fifteen arrows in the time a gunner would take to load, charge, and shoot a firearm. The effective range was also rather lackluster being that it was only about 80 to 100 meters, and by then the distance made it quite easy for the bullet to just bounce off armor. The matchlocks were also vulnerable to humid or rainy conditions as the powder would become too damp to use. However, firearms could be effectively manned by farmers or by non-samurai soldiers.

Soon after, various techniques were used to improve the effectiveness of the guns. A serial firing technique was developed to create a continuous rain of bullets. Bigger calibers were developed to increase lethal power, and protective lacquer boxes were invented to be able to fire matchlocks in the rain all while systems to accurately fire weapons at night by keeping fixed angles with measured strings were created.

As a result of all this ingenious development, in 1567, Takeda Shingen[2] announced that guns were the most important arms. The number of spears per a unit were decreased as the best men were armed with guns. Then at the Battle of Nagashino[3] in 1575, arquebusiers helped win the battle by firing volleys of 1,000 at a time, thereby effectively stopping enemy infantry while protecting cavalry charges.

The decline of gun use in Japan had come about when Tokugawa Ieyasu had won the internal war and established the Tokugawa Shogunate. From the mid-seventeenth century, Japan closed itself to interactions with the West through its policy of Sakoku[4]. Guns became less frequently used because there were few large-scale conflicts until now. The sword was just more practical to use in the average small-scale conflicts.

So, unlike before, we were getting more gunshot wounds to treat than sword wounds, but this was a massive problem. From the injuries I've treated since the battle started and from the bullets I had extracted out of some wounds, a horrible realization set in. Unlike the musket balls used in the tanegashima, which the Shogunate troops were all using, the bullets that our enemy were using were the easily deformed Minié balls. Our enemy's primary weapon was the Minié rifle. It didn't matter that the Shogunate had three times as many soldiers as the enemy. We were going to get mowed down by the superior guns that the enemy possessed.

Whereas I didn't know much about Japanese history in my past life, seeing that I didn't live in Japan nor study Japanese history, I did learn my American history. The American Civil War, fought from 1861-1865, had the Minié rifle as the dominant infantry weapon. And the only reason I knew about this particular gun was because this gun caused a record-breaking number of amputations among the wounded. The large caliber and high speed spin of the easily deformed bullets created terrible wounds. This gun maimed more than killed.

The Minié rifle has a percussion lock and weighed roughly about 4.8 kg. Having a reasonable accuracy up to 550 meters, it was equipped with sights for effective aiming. The rifle also had far more power than the tanegashima. It could penetrate 10 cm of soft pine at 918 meters.

This particular rifle used a conical-cylindrical soft lead bullet, slightly smaller than the barrel bore, with three exterior grease-filled grooves and a conical hollow in its base. When fired, the expanding gas forcibly pushed on the base of the bullet, deforming it to engage the rifling. This provided spin for accuracy, provided a better seal for consistent velocity and longer range, and it cleaned the barrel of detritus.

Obviously, like Chizuru-chan, I was worried about everyone who was out fighting and even more so as I discovered what guns the enemies were using. But I couldn't do anything about that. Right now, I couldn't even send a runner out to tell everyone what type of guns the enemy was using as a warning. There were just too many injured and no one available to use as a runner. At this point, I was just glad I hadn't seen any of the guys return yet. This probably meant they didn't have to retreat due to injury. No news was good news to me right now.

"But…" Chizuru-chan mumbled before grabbing her own hand to force the shaking to stop, but that didn't help much. Even she could feel something in the back of her gut that something was wrong.

Noticing Chizuru-chan's shaking and nervous demeanor, Inoue-san approached Chizuru-chan.

"Are you all right?" Inoue-san asked as he knelt down to where Chizuru-chan was seated by a patient.

"I'm worried whether everyone will make it back unharmed." she admitted, unable to look up at Inoue-san.

Putting a hand on her shoulder, Inoue-san got Chizuru-chan to look up at him before offering her a kind and confident smile before speaking words of comfort.

"Not to worry. They're warriors. In the face of overwhelming odds, Nagakura-kun and Shimada-kun volunteered for the suicide corps. Harada-kun and Souji are putting their own lives on the line to provide them with support. And Saito-kun has headed for Ryu'un Temple to stop their cannons while Sannan-kun is preparing the other corps for a night strike. They are all true warrior, a rarity in this modern world."

"True warriors?" Chizuru-chan parroted.

"Have faith. Believe in them."

"Faith won't be enough here." I butt pessimistically in just as Chizuru-chan smiled at Inoue-san's words. I threw the bloodied towel in my hand to the floor beside me and picked up one of the bullets I extracted from a man's wound to show them. "See this bullet? It's a Minié bullet. Most of the soldiers I have treated so far have horrendous bullet wounds caused by Minié bullets. Going by that information, our enemy's primary weapon is the Minié rifle while our primary weapons are swords, pikes, and tanegashima. We're only holding up okay for now due to our sheer numbers, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time before we get out gunned. We need better weapons, or we need to overwhelm the enemy with our sheer numbers now."

Inoue-san's eyebrows furrowed as he listened to my words. Then seeming to have a different opinion, he opened his mouth to retort, but was cut off by Yamazaki-san's cry of, "Vice Commander, are you—Okita-san! What happened?!"

My heart sank to my ankles as I jumped to my feet and sprinted towards the entrance the best I could without trampling any poor injured soul laying on the floor of the medical wing. At the entrance, Hijikata-san was supporting Souji with one hand while he put pressure on a large red patch on Souji's chest with his other hand.

Souji's was conscious, but it looked like he was only holding on by a thread. His face was pale and covered in cold sweat. There was blood leaking from the corner of his mouth and his breathing was labored. Going by where Hijikata-san's hand was and the amount of blood, it was not only a serious wound, but a chest wound. The chest was full of vital organs, all of which needed to function in order to support life.

"Yamazaki-san! Get Shizuka, now!" Hijikata-san hollered while looking panicked and incredibly strained.

Yamazaki-san turned around to yell for me, but his voice got caught in his throat as I shot pass him and immediately slung Souji's other arm over my shoulder. Hijikata-san caught my eye for a brief second as he shook his head wordlessly at me with a grim look and moved his hand slightly so I could see the wound. I could feel my eyes widen in panic. A gunshot wound to the right side of his chest.

"Sorry…" Souji wheezed to me in a weak yet lighthearted voice as he offered a pitiful looking smile. "I messed up…"

A mist of blood came out of his mouth after a sharp attack of coughs interfered with what he was saying.

"No, don't talk!" I ordered Souji desperately, pulling another weak smile from him, before turning to Yamazaki-san and Chizuru-chan. "Someone look through the files for someone with O- blood and someone clear a space for surgery! NOW!"

"S-Shizuka-chan, t-this way!" Chizuru-chan exclaimed, tripping over her own tongue as she lead me to the space that was prepared for Souji before she helped me, literally, drag Souji to an empty futon.

Souji stared almost hopelessly at me as he struggled to remain conscious. His breath was becoming shorter by the second and was always accompanied by wheezing blood out in a fine mist and occasional droplets. He was becoming weaker very quickly as his blood pressured dropped.

By what I managed to observe in my panic, Souji was still managing to breathe on his own, though poorly. His meant that his right lung was merely punctured and hadn't collapsed from the injury. However, this also meant his lung was filling up with blood. He would literally drown in his own blood if I didn't do anything. There was also no exit wound. Surgery would be absolutely necessary to save Souji. I needed to get in there to remove the bullet and repair the damaged caused by the bullet. I had to do something NOW.

"Shizuka-sensei." Yamazaki-san said as he handed me an endotracheal tube[5] before he proceeded to hook Souji up to an IV for fluids.

With a short apologetic look to Souji, I quickly set to work by forcing the endotracheal tube Yamazaki-san gave me through Souji's mouth and down into his trachea. With the endotracheal tube in place, I attached the manual resuscitator[6] and passed the job of pumping oxygen into Souji to Chizuru-chan so I could put Souji under and begin the operation.

* * *

"Keep an eye on him for any changes." I ordered Chizuru-chan after the surgery as I forced myself to leave the recovery room to take care of my operating instruments and Souji's uniform.

My head hurt from the long hours. My back was sore from bending over so many patients for hours. But right now, none of that mattered to me. I had just finished operating on Souji. No one ever wanted to have to operate on a loved one and I was hardly the exception. The whole time during the operation a doubtful voice kept creeping back into the back of my mind: What if I messed up? What if my skills weren't enough to save Souji?

As soon as I was far away enough from the recovery room and prying eyes, everything in my hands dropped to the floor with a loud clang. I collapsed against the wall and just let my emotions overwhelm me, allowing my sobs to echo through the empty hallway. I knew right now was not the time for tears. I could still hear the rain of bullets and feel the building shake with the boom of cannons outside. While I wasn't up in the front of headquarters to see the injured get hauled in, I didn't need to see to know that more injured were coming in. Everything hurt. I didn't care that I had a job to do right now. I never thought I would ever see Souji like this. As I exited the room, Souji was still unconscious and hooked up to a manual ventilator with a chest tube sticking out the side of his chest. This was all wrong! Everything about that sight was wrong! Souji had always been vibrant and full of energy. He was a healthy young man, and now… he looked like he was dead. And how easy it would be for him to die right now too! Just a simple complication during healing or just him not waking up from the anesthesia spelled death. I had my medical knowledge, I had the ingenious machinery that Kenji-san provide before he left, but the cold truth was that this wasn't going to be enough to replace all the high-tech tools I was able to using in the future. There was only so much I could do with what I had available to me right now. I was beyond terrified. At this point on, I wouldn't be able do much to help Souji recover. Now it would come down to Souji's own resilience.

Lost in all my tears and the disgusting snot running down from my nose, I failed to notice Hijikata-san nearby as he approached me. Only when one of his hands touch my cheek to wipe away some tears did I notice him.

"Shizuka… Is Souji?" he asked with painful hesitance as he pulled me to my feet again.

"T-The operation went s-smoothly, b-but—" I managed to say before burying my face into my hands as I let out a loud sob. "H-He's hasn't—he hasn't w-woken up y-yet and I don't k-know if he w-will."

Hijikata-san said nothing and pulled me against his chest to cry while rubbing my back in a gentle Z motion. I wasn't the only one hurting from this, but Hijikata-san too. A few minutes later, I was able to pull my face away from Hijikata-san's chest, allowing him to wipe the rest of my tears away with his sleeve.

"I'm sorry." Hijikata-san said as he released me from his hug, carefully making sure I could stand by myself before he fully let go. "As much as I would like to stay here with you and Souji, I can't. With another one of our captains out of the battle, we lose another commander of a troop. I need to get back out there to support or remaining troops that can still fight."

I nodded tearfully at Hijikata-san's words and didn't try to stop him as he left for the front again. What he said was true. Without Souji at the head of the First Division, the First Division couldn't get redeployed in the battle. It was true that we could split the division up and add the First Division soldiers to various troops bolster up the other divisions with more numbers, but that wasn't needed right now. What was needed right now was the First Division doing the role it had been given in this battle, support for the suicide corps. Without the First Division providing the suicide corps with the Tenth Division, the suicide corps would be completely slaughtered and the whole battle strategy that Hijikata-san put together would collapse in on itself. We needed someone to take up command of the First Division in this battle while Souji was incapacitated and there were no soldiers that had the capability to step up.

I'm a doctor, not a solider. Truthfully, I shouldn't even be considering taking up command of the First Division while Souji was out. But despite all of that, I am the wife of a samurai and was supposed to step in for Souji and pick up his duties if he were unable to according to the old, outdated, ideals. Souji's men respected me and even allowed me to order them around in headquarters sometimes, but would they respect me enough and trust me enough to lead them out on the battlefield? There was no choice this time. It was do or die.

Taking one last hard look at Souji's haori on the ground, I picked it up before putting it on. I am not a soldier. I am not a man. I am a woman, but I will not be fashioned into the maiden that needs saving from a dragon. I am the dragon and I will devour my enemy whole. The enemy will regret forcing me out onto the battlefield.

* * *

[1] Tanegashima (種子島), also hinawajū (火縄銃), was a type of matchlock configured arquebus firearm introduced to Japan through the Portuguese in 1543.

[2] Takeda Shingen (武田 信玄, December 1, 1521 – May 13, 1573), of Kai Province, was a pre-eminent daimyo in feudal Japan with exceptional military prestige in the late stage of the Sengoku period.

[3] The Battle of Nagashino (長篠の戦い Nagashino no Tatakai) took place in 1575 near Nagashino Castle on the plain of Shitaragahara in the Mikawa province of Japan. Forces under Takeda Katsuyori had besieged the castle; Okudaira Sadamasa, a Tokugawa vassal, commanded the defending force. The Takeda forces attacked the castle because it threatened Takeda's supply lines.

[4] Sakoku (鎖国, (literally "closed city" but meaning "period of national isolation") was the foreign relations policy of Japan under which no foreigner could enter nor could any Japanese leave the country on penalty of death. The policy was enacted by the Tokugawa Shogunate under Tokugawa Iemitsu through a number of edicts and policies from 1633–1639 and remained in effect until 1853 with the arrival of the American Black Ships of Commodore Matthew Perry which forced the opening of Japan to Western trade. It was still illegal to leave Japan until the Meiji Restoration (1868). It was preceded by an era commonly referred to as Sengoku, or the Warring States period of Japanese history.

[5] A tracheal tube is a catheter that is inserted into the trachea for the primary purpose of establishing and maintaining a patent airway and to ensure the adequate exchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide.

[6] A bag valve mask, abbreviated to BVM and sometimes known by the proprietary name Ambu bag or generically as a manual resuscitator or "self-inflating bag", is a hand-held device commonly used to provide positive pressure ventilation to patients who are not breathing or not breathing adequately. The device is a required part of resuscitation kits for trained professionals in out-of-hospital settings (such as ambulance crews) and is also frequently used in hospitals as part of standard equipment found on a crash cart, in emergency rooms or other critical care settings.


	107. Chapter 104

**Chapter 104**

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."—Franklin D. Roosevelt

"A woman leading us into battle?" one of Souji's men, Amaji, scoffed as he stepped forward, turning to the men standing beside him for support. "Am I right?"

A silent murmur rumbled throughout the room as the other men began speaking to each other before the deafening boom of artillery fire drowned out all other sound.

"You're out of place here." Amaji declared, jabbing his finger at me as if to make his point. "A woman's place is in the kitchen, with the children, or in the bedroom taking care of her husband's needs. Women are weaker than men. They have no place on the battlefield, let alone leading men into battle. What do you know of battle? Is this all just a game to you just because your husband is our superior? We are not your playthings to order about as you wish."

"You're right." I admitted as I put my palms together while pacing in front of them. "I don't belong on the battlefield. I probably should be with my children, and right now, I would prefer to be with my children instead of being stuck here. I am also not your superior when it comes to things non-medical, so you have no obligations to do as I say. But don't you dare say I do not belong out in the battlefield just because I am a woman when I can fight just as hard as you."

I picked up my naginata off the floor before I ceased pacing and stood firmly before them.

"I know damn well that THIS isn't a game. My own chichi-ue was shot last month, and my husband… I don't even know if he will ever wake up again right now. I just pulled a freaking BULLET out of his LUNG. I don't need anyone to tell me this isn't a game. Right now, what I do know is that if the First Division isn't out there with the Tenth Division to support the suicide corps then the suicide corps will be slaughtered and the Vice Commander's battle strategy will collapse. This will become a complete massacre if no one does anything. Tell me, other than me, who is volunteering to step up and lead the First Division? Who else is willing to throw himself into hell and is willing to take responsibility if everything goes wrong?"

There was total silence. Not one man spoke up. The thing was, it's easy to follow, even if that was following someone into battle, into possible death. No, what was hard was leading people into battle, knowing that people will die under your command.

"But you're a woman." another man pointed out without malicious intent. "And while there have been women warriors before, how will we know that you won't run when you're shot at? How will we know that you have the mettle and won't abandon us when we need you most? How will we know that you are like those brave women warriors in history?"

"Because warriors are those who choose to stand between their enemy and all that she loves or holds sacred." I answered, leveling eye contact with as many men as possible. "I have been there since the beginning. I have watched my chichi-ue, my husband, and all the men I hold dear sweat and bleed and give everything they have for the Shinsengumi. I will not stand idle and let it be destroyed, not when I could have done something. I know I am not your captain and I have no authority over this division. All I ask is for you to think about why you joined the Shinsengumi. Did you join for glory? Did you join to protect the people? Because you side with the Shogunate? For the money? A warrior's glory cannot not won without battle. The people cannot be safe if their guardians will not fight for them. Loyalty to the Shogunate is fighting when called to. And the money? Well, you should have chosen a different job."

"Well then," Amaji said after a long sigh before his mouth twisted up into a wild grin, "even if we didn't follow you into battle, you would rush out there by yourself, wouldn't you? I don't know about these guys, but I rather not be skinned alive by the Captain when he found out we let you run out there by yourself."

…A test?

"Furthermore, we know you won't back down or abandon us." another man answered as he came to stand beside Amaji. "You've operated on me once upon a time. Any other physician would have never even bothered because I was on Death's door. I'm here because you didn't abandon me as your patient. There was never a question of your character."

"We just wanted to know if you were thinking clearly when you said you were going to sub in for the Captain." Amaji continued. "And if you can still speak like that without dissolving into a blubbering mess, then you're clear of mind and fit lead us."

Loyalty was a wonderful thing, especially when you expected it to be squashed in a world of men.

"And for the record, I believe I'm speaking for every one of us here when I say we've never doubted you in the first place."

"And also, it might have also helped when the Captain threatened that if anything happened to his wife and kids if he were—"

"Shut up. You're running the moment." Amaji interrupted as he elbowed the man in annoyance before flashing me an assuring grin.

Of course, Souji and his threats… And yet, despite the gravity of the situation, I couldn't help but let a small smile grace my lips.

* * *

When I stepped out onto the battlefield, it was like a hazy dream. There was the sense of disbelief, a disconnect of senses. I knew I was on a battlefield. I could see the bullets slamming into walls and the cannonballs bring down buildings as they came crashing into loadbearing walls, but none of this seemed real. All this felt like was dream, a nightmare.

"Okita-sensei? Okita-sensei!" Amaji yelled as he grabbed my shoulders to shake me out of my daze. "We can't stand out here in the open! We're not close enough for their guns to hit us yet, but if we don't get into cover, we'll be easily picked off by their cannons!"

"Right!" I yelled over the gunfire before suddenly throwing myself and Amaji to the ground when a wall behind exploded as a cannonball came flying through, leaving a smoking trail of debris behind.

There was no freezing up here, no taking back mistakes. It was like what Souji said: "If we make mistakes then our men die." We needed to move and get under cover. I glanced behind me briefly to observe the brave men that followed me out here before looking forward. Just ahead was a row of abandoned houses. Those buildings ahead would give us shelter from the cannons and it was unlikely enemy gunmen would be lurking in those building since the empty houses were still fairly close to headquarters.

"We'll take shelter in those houses ahead and we'll assess our situation." I told Amaji as my grip tightened around my naginata to stop my hands from shaking. I didn't want anyone to see how terrified I was, not when I had men to lead.

"We're heading to those abandon houses up ahead so we can get a better grasp on the situation!" Amaji hollered my orders back to the men over the artillery fire.

The moment the opposing side paused their cannons to reload, the First Division scurried over to the abandoned buildings like a trail of panicked ants, avoiding the bloodied corpses along the way like they were landmines. And then, that split moment of false peace ended as a cannonball came barreling through, blowing away the corpses as the iron balls smashed into the dirt floor. And just the ants, the men scattered from their neat line and ran for cover in the safety of the building.

"Shit! That cannon is a problem! Its range is insane!" Amaji cursed before he pulled the last soldier out of the open before turning to me. "This isn't going to be easy. We need to rejoin the Tenth Division, but we've been cut off from them when Captain was shot and we were forced to retreat. We need to punch through enemy lines if we want to reach them."

"While the Shogunate has more men then Choshu and Satsuma combined, they're using new guns can shoot many bullets with high accuracy. We'll get slaughtered if we try to punch through with just swords." another soldier added, flinching as another loud boom resounded through the area. "We'll get shot before even reaching them."

"I know." I answer, gritting my teeth as my eyes examined the weapons we did have. "They're using Minié rifles. I recognized the bullets when I fished them out of our injured back in the medical wing.

"Minié rifles?" Amaji questioned as his eyes widened at first before narrowing at me. "How do you—"

"Minié rifles are rapid muzzle loading guns with a range of about 918 meters with a reasonable accuracy of about 550 meters." I cut in, not allowing Amaji to finish speaking. "We only have swords and pikes right now. We'll have a high mortality rate if we try to force our way through as is. We need to equal our odds and get our hands on some of those guns."

"You mean…?" another soldier said while looking uncomfortable.

I knew stealing from dead men was dishonorable, but I wanted to live. If stealing from dead men could accomplish this then I wasn't going to stop to consider if something was honorable or dishonorable.

"We'll loot what guns we can off the dead and we'll ambush a couple of other soldiers to steal theirs." I answered, letting him know I was very serious. There would be no way to punch through enemy lines otherwise. Plus, the dead didn't need their possessions any more. "When we have enough guns, we'll use them to punch through."

"Right then." Amaji said with a nod. "Any propositions on how to ambush a small troop of soldiers? We won't be able to fight them head on as long as they have guns."

"We could draw the attention of a small group of soldiers away with a fake retreat and then overwhelm them." another man suggested. "But how do we do that without getting shot?"

"We draw them back here." I said after a short moment consideration. "This area is chock-full with narrow alleyways. If they came through the alleyways, they'll be funneled into a single file line. This means only the person in the front can shoot freely and they have limited mobility due to the long barrel of rifle. We have a few men draw a group of enemy soldiers through a narrow alleyway while the rest of us hide on the second floor of the buildings. When the enemy soldiers are directly below, the rest of us will jump them and quickly dispatch them before they can figure out what's going on."

"Will they notice us above them?" questioned an insecure looking soldier.

Amaji looked up for a few seconds with a calculative glance before answering, "No. They be focused on our 'retreating' men to notice the rest of us. They won't look up. Your orders, Okita-Sensei?"

"We'll split up." I said, drawing an invisible line down to split up the troop. "Amaji, I want you to lead the false retreat. Grab the attention of one small group of enemy soldiers and draw them back here. Do your best to stay out of their range. I'll take the rest of the men to the second floor of the buildings. When the enemy soldiers are directly below us, we'll make it rain swords down upon them."

"Sir!" Amaji barked.

Sensing the discussion was over, the men's backs instantly shot straight. Each nodded to each other silently to assure each other. The group then split. Amaji leading one half in a trot along the walls of the abandoned houses to avoid artillery fire for as long as humanly possible while other half remaining with me watched silently, offering silent support, praying the other group didn't get shot to hell when the guns were suddenly pointed at them.

When the last man under Amaji trotted past me, I turned to my own men with a quiet even look. The men responded to the silent orders I issued as they automatically paired off and entered to the abandoned housese. They climbed the stairs and hid on the second floor of those building, near the windows with their swords drawn and waited for their prey to be lead to them.

We waited noiseless for minutes. Beads of sweat grew on my forehead as I wiped the sweat that had appeared on my palms away with Souji's haori to keep my naginata from slipping from my hands. As minute after minute passed by, the men grew more fidgety as the narrow alleyway below them remained empty. Finally the face of anxiety appeared when the wait grew unbearably long. The men gripped their swords with white hands as their nails dug into the fabric of the swords' handles. Then the thundering sound of feet and guns broke the tense silence. Below, Amaji and his group bolted through the narrow pass, kicking up dust in their wake as they fled a group of soldiers dressed in black westernized uniform.

The soldiers dressed in black filtered in after our bait, only pausing their chase in an attempt to shoot, but failed to pull the trigger out of fear that if they stopped chasing their enemy to shoot, they would lose sight of their target. As the enemy continued chasing the false retreat, they paid no mind to their surroundings, failing to notice that they had been funneled into a single line in the narrow space. Then when the enemy soldiers were in the middle of our trap below, we pounced.

I leapt down out of the window with the rest of my men, with my naginata pointed down in a downwards strike. The enemy let out a stunned cry of surprised panic as my men collided with them from above, cutting the enemy's cries short as swords rained down to sever their throats.

My own naginata's blade pierced the back of a man's throat from above as his body broke my fall. Red sprayed from the wound and stained parts of the blue haori crimson as the man collapsed under my weight as his strength left his body with his blood. The man was dead before he even knew what had collided into him.

"We got them all." I vaguely heard one of my men announced in the background as I stared down at the corpse below me.

The look of horror was permanently etched on the dead man's face. The loud dripping sound of blood falling to the ground in drops from my red hands drowned out most other sounds. I have only ever killed an insane rasetsu before. Something so inhuman and so far gone that it was a mercy killing. But this…this was different.

"Okita-sensei?" Amaji said as he placed his hand on one of my shoulders, snapping me out of my dazed thoughts.

"It's nothing." I answered as I pulled my naginata out of the dead man's neck. The blood gushed out of the corpse as the plug vacated the wound. I couldn't watch the rest of the man's blood pool onto the dirt floor. I forced myself to look away. I killed this man. "Any causalities on our side?"

"None." Amaji replied as he watched the rest of the soldiers pull their blades out of their victims. "There are some wounded, but the worst wound is a bullet graze wound. We managed to use the smoke on the battlefield prevent the usage of sights."

"Right. Nicely done." I said, stealing the rifle off of the dead soldier at my feet before turning to the other men. "Take all the guns and the unused bullets. Each person gets a gun and take all extra guns too. The extra guns can be distributed to the Tenth Division later."

"Sir!"

I felt like one of those villains from those old children's movies at that very moment. Those evil things that did horrible things just for the sake of ruining other people's lives. Watching the men pry the rifles from the cold dead hands of their victims before nosing their way into the bloodstained clothing to retrieve the bullets under my orders. This was war. I was justified in my orders. It was my place to keep the men that followed me out here alive, but each one of the dead enemy soldiers had faces. They were someone and each one of them belonged to someone. Each one of them had friends, family, people that would miss them if he were to vanish from this world.

I watched people die before. It was unavoidable, especially since I was a trauma surgeon. It's common knowledge that everyone will eventually die, but to order the death? To be the one doing the killing? I jumped into the battle to protect the ones I love and to step up for my husband, but if I survived this battle, what would I be? A hero or a villain? Were they really that different or were they really just the same thing? It was one thing to know what war is like, but to be a part of it? Nothing in the world could prepare me for this. How did Souji do this? How did he push on without losing himself? How did anyone?

"Now what?"

I closed my eyes at the question and took a deep breath. Now was not the time to break down.

"We need to get through the enemy lines to get to the Tenth Division." I answered, swallowing with my dry throat to steady my voice. "The Tenth Division was last sighted near the Taskase River[1]. Since then, an enemy line has formed there. With the guns we've just obtained, we need to get to the opposite side of the enemy line to rejoin the Tenth Division. Stick close to the buildings so there's cover when we get shot at."

"Understood."

By the time we left the site of our ambush the sun was shrouded in smoke, making it seem later than it truly was. Long shadows of broken buildings and debris stretched across the bloodied landscape as the sound of guns continued to thunder and shake the earth. It was almost fitting. The sun setting as the Tokugawa era was coming to a close. Broken flags of different troops, littered the dirt ground next to the dead.

I wanted to vomit every time a bullet whizzed past an ear and I nearly vomited every time I fired my rifle. I vomited until I had nothing left in my stomach after the first man under my command died. It felt like a century in hell had passed by the time I could see the red reflection of the setting sun on the Taskase River up a head. At the river's banks was a line of enemy infantry already engaged in battle with another troop composed of Aizu soldiers.

From first glance, it was easy to assume that the Aizu troop would win. They easily had twice as many men than the line of Choshu and Satsuma soldiers. The enemy should have been easily overwhelmed by the sheer number, but what I saw was different. I could see Aizu soldiers trying to charge and I could see the enemy guns. A loud bang and a flash of light, then a row of dead Aizu men. The Aizu soldiers were getting picked off row after row without even coming close to touching the enemy with their bladed weapons.

"It's just slaughter." Amaji said slack-jawed as he watched the hopeless charge. "The era of swords…is over."

"It is." I replied before turning to the men once more. "But that does not change what we have to do. We need to punch through that enemy line, and as horrible I may sound for saying this, we'll use the Aizu troops as a distraction to get through."

A murmur rumbled through the First Division as they turned to look to size each other up, but no objection was voiced.

Amaji swallowed as he looked back at the flashing of the enemy guns before speaking up, "What's the plan?"

"We'll split the First Division into two groups again. There will be one group on either side of the Aizu troop and we'll funnel the bulk of the enemy's infantry towards the Aizu troop in the center. While the enemy is focused majority on the Aizu troop, we'll push through and continue moving."

"That'll be dangerous." Amaji objected. "We'll be spreading ourselves too thin. Half of us can easily be eliminated this way. It'll be safer to go in as one large group."

"But if we succeed, our own troop will suffer less causalities." I pointed out before picking a stick off the ground to draw a diagram in the dirt. "Look at the formation this way: it's like a bull's head. You have the two horns sticking out on either side of the head. The horns may be smaller, but you would want to avoid them because they do more damage. The First Division will be the bull horns and the large Aizu troop will be the head. We'll be doing more damage than the Aizu troop because of the rifles we've looted, so the enemy troops will most likely move away from us and head for the center. While their preoccupied with the Aizu troop in the center, we push through and vanish before the enemy can be any wiser."

"But what if we don't just push through and help the Aizu troop?" suggested another man. "If we can annihilate this part of the enemy's forces, we'll punch a hole in the enemy's assault and keep odds in our favor by keeping as many Shogunate's forces alive as possible."

"He's right." Amaji agreed as he took the stick from me to add more to the diagram. "We can use the same formation, but make a few changes. We can assault the enemy's by splitting this division in two and attack the enemy's flanks, and by working with Aizu forces, we can attack the enemy's front in three areas at once. This way we can cut off any retreat or support as well as confuse the enemy for a short while. During this confusion we can loot some more rifles and bullets to replenish our own supplies."

I bit my lips at Amaji's and the man's suggestion. Why couldn't I think of that? They were right and I failed to come up with a plan as competent as the one they came up with. What was I doing leading this division? I couldn't even kill an actual human being without wanting to fall apart. While they were testing me, Souji's men said I didn't belong on the battle field. They didn't mean it, but what if what they said was true. I wasn't good enough to lead. What the hell was I thinking when I jumped into this?

"Don't start doubting yourself now." Amaji suddenly said with a stern tone as if he could read my thoughts. I almost could feel myself shrinking as all the men's eyes landed on me.

"I—" I started to say before being cut off.

"You lack the experience. This is your first time in a large scale battle." Amaji stated. "But that does not change the fact that you have the natural capacity to lead. We have watched and seen you prove time and time again that leadership comes naturally to you in the medical wing. The rest of us here, we have the battlefield experience, but none of us can lead as well as you. We need a leader with the Captain down. It's fine if you lack the experience. We'll support you with our own experience for now as you learn the ropes. Do not doubt yourself now. Now is not the time, not with so many lives on the line."

He was right. Now was not the time to misstep. Not when I had a job to do.

"We'll follow Amaji's plan." I declared with hardened eyes as my confidence slowly crept back into my bones. "We'll split the division in half. Amaji, you take half to the right flank and I'll take the other half to the left. We'll force the enemy troops towards the center before we surround them and dispose of them."

"Yes, Captain." the men affirmed.

Captain? They called me Captain…

"What are we waiting for?" I asked as a wild grin crept onto my face despite the circumstances. "We have a job to do."

The division split down the center in a magnificent line at my words, like Moses was parting the Red Sea. We moved closer to the enemy lines to just get into range before a line of gunfire rang through the air as the First Division discharged bullet after bullet. The front of the enemy lines crumbled as the bullets slammed into the front, causing the lines behind the front to fold towards the center to escape the maelstrom of bullets in confusion. Emboldened by the sudden assist, the Aizu troop pushed forward as the First Division folded around the enemy before trapping them in the center of gunfire. Then almost as soon as it started, it ended as the last enemy soldier dropped to the ground in a bloody heap with a hole in his heart.

"Causalities?" I asked the moment our two flanks rejoined each other. The Aizu troops didn't bother to stop and thank us for the assist as they continued pushing on.

"We lost a couple of good men." Amaji replied before sending a silent prayer to our dead. "They died fine men. As for our wounded, we should find shelter to take care of any injures before we press on. We have some gunshot wounds and we really should find some shelter. The sun is setting. Soon it'll be too dark to see anything, let alone fire a gun with decent accuracy and we need our bullets to hit. We have a very limited supply compared to Choshu and Satsuma."

"Right." I affirmed with a nod. "We have several more abandoned buildings ahead. I need two quick men to act as scouts. Look for any unoccupied building that haven't sustained serious damage. Also make sure to find a building where we will be less likely to run into enemy troops. When we find a suitable building, we'll take shelter in it for the night."

"We'll do it." one of the men said as he stood next to his buddy. Both were a little dirty and were covered in some dry blood, but they seemed to be some of the lucky ones with no visible wounds.

"Fuji, Yamamoto, go." Amaji said, sending those two men off with a wave of his hand.

"The rest of us need to collect what guns and bullets we can salvage off the dead." I directed the remainder of the men before ripping some cloth of my sleeve to wrap the makeshift bandage around Amaji's bleeding shoulder. It looked like a bullet had grazed him. "We need to move fast and get out of this area before more enemy troops arrive or before a cannon can be aimed at us."

"We won't have to worry too much about riflemen coming at us for now." Amaji notified me as he watched me wrap his arm. "The sun's about to set. Riflemen won't be able to get here before nightfall, and if they do, they won't be able to hit us as well. They'll want to avoid a confrontation during the night—"

A cannonball slamming into a nearby building, cutting off his words. Amaji grimaced at the sound of the crumbling walls before looking at me again.

"But they'll probably keep shelling us with those cannons." Amaji said before muttering, "Shit, I hate cannons."

"Come on! Let's move!" I hollered at the men over the boom of another cannon being fired.

* * *

The stars were already visible in the moonless sky by the time we moved into suitable shelter for the night. The old toy store was riddled with bullet holes and the motionless dolls that sat on the shelves cast haunting shadows in the starlight, shooting chills up my spine, but at least the building was stable and hadn't caught on fire.

The sounds of battle had already wound down for the night. There was still the occasional bang of a gun and the loud booming sounds of the cannons on the winds, but it was nearly silent compared with the sounds of battle that I lived through just minutes ago. As we prepared to settle in for a short few hours of rest, the building shook as another cannonball landed in the distance.

"Find whatever thick cloth that was left behind to cover the windows." I ordered the men as I began checking some of the wounds the best I could. "I need light to treat the wounded, but we can't have any light escape to give away our position. We'll be sitting ducks if the enemy knows we're here and sets the building ablaze."

"Yes, Captain." a few of the men said as they moved in a flurry to dig up whatever they could to block the windows.

"We need to rotate a watch for the night. I want at least five people on watch the entire night." I continued as I rinsed a nasty burn wound out with water before I began debriding it. "Amaji, can I leave the night watch to you?"

"Of course." Amaji replied. He stood up from his seat to scan the room before he pulled individuals. "Hayashi, Mori, Madea, and Shimizu. You four are with me for the first shift. We'll switch off in about two hours, so the rest of the men need to—"

In all honestly, we probably should have set up a watch first. Less chance of getting caught with our pants down. Before Amaji could finish with his orders, the old shop's door slammed open to reveal another troop outside that also wanted to use this building as shelter for the night.

"Shizuka?!"

Well, this also made things easier. At least we didn't have to spend any more time hunting for the Tenth Division.

"What the HELL are you doing out here?!" Sano-san exclaimed as his spear slipped from his hand and clattered onto the floor.

…Surprise? No, he probably had something more akin to a heart attack.

* * *

[1] The Takase River (高瀬川 Takase-gawa) is a canal in Kyoto, Japan. It rises from Nijō-Kiyamachi, going along Kiyamachi Street, and meets the Uji River at Fushimi port. The canal crosses with the Kamo River on the way. Today the south half is not connected with Kamo River.


	108. ANNOUNCEMENT

I growled down at my piece of paper like it had done something to offend me, causing Souji to pause grooming Yukio as he raised an amused eyebrow at me.

"What has that inanimate object done now to offend you?" Souji asked me jokingly as I balled the piece of paper up and tossed it over my shoulder. "What? Don't like how you've written our story."

"I feel like it could be better." I grabbed another blank sheet and placed. "I'm rewriting everything."

Souji chuckled as he picked up my discarded ball of paper and lobbed at the back of my head. "Well then," he said, "better get started because there's a lot for you to rewrite."

* * *

**Important Announcement**

Sorry for the long unannounced hiatus. Some things came up and everything's been a mess ever since. There have been family health problems, job interviews, and more family problems. Did I mention family problems? I even took some time off to experiment with different writing styles too. But there is no need to worry. I still intend to complete this story, but I'm actually going to rewrite it (again X_X). Hopefully, this time, it will come out better.

**Thank you to those who have been faithful followers of this story.**


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